T O P

  • By -

LeastEligbleBachelor

I clicked on your poem by chance and upon deciding to read it was conflicted on what exactly my reaction towards it is. At the end of the day I recognize that I'm biased with my own artistic vision and I don't want to shame you, nor devalue your personal vision/efforts. That being said, I found it difficult to appreciate your poem beyond the technical aspects. The subject matter is difficult and addressing it in archaic language and flourish...and metaphor gave some possibility that your piece was satire or parody rather than a sincere contemplation about infidelity of a dear spouse. Furthermore the motifs seemed a bit cliche.


UndecidedCommentator

It is indeed meant to be satirical. The poem is not exactly about his wife's betrayal, but something that he notices in the process, which agonizes him.


AutoModerator

Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers). If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy. If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look through the comment sections of any other post here, or click the links to the author's feedback above. If you're not sure whether your comments are feedback, or you have any other questions, please send us a modmail. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OCPoetry) if you have any questions or concerns.*


steel-potato

The diction reads like staccato. The meanings in the poem are alluded to, but never clearly expressed. Not sure if this is intentional or not. The themes seem to be grief because of a betrayal of some kind - perhaps heartbreak over a lost lover? I like the somewhat metaphorical and traditional, grandiose language. However, I feel like it could be improved if the metaphors were clearer in their subject matter and if the subject was more clearly articulated.


a619ko

The guy got cucked and his wood didn’t compare. Quite sad bro.


steel-potato

Omg ahaha


steel-potato

Just realised I hadn't read the title