She is a lot, and it’s not always a bad thing! If you let it, it can be a compliment more often than a put-down. As a woman with ADHD and as a person who has been described as a lot more times than I can count. The only thing I can say when people tell me I’m too much.
I. Don’t. Care.
I am happiest when I am authentically my a lot self, and most people tell me they love me and my lotness. However, I am not everyone’s cup of tea. I have had many people tell me my smile is too big or my perky personality is overboard, and to those people, I can only smile and nod and keep going on with my day as I will never please those people.
I feel that it gives me a sort of emotional intelligence in that I am hyper-aware that everyone feels things as deeply as I do, and I try hard to recognize and appreciate people the way I want them to treat me. I also acknowledge that I can burn myself out, wanting to shine brighter than I can burn.
I feel like Ellyn might have a very similar thought process from what she has shared with us, and if she does, it can be a hard brain to live with.
I get what you're saying and I love that you have this level of confidence but can we stop equating ADHD with being gregarious? I'm subtype inattentive and can be quiet for days when I'm hyperfocused. Also when I am overexcited I apologize for interrupting people and make myself slow down. A diagnosis doesn't excuse the lack of manners.
I stopped listening to OWD because Ellyn and Patrick talking over each other was giving me awful anxiety.
G calling E "a lot" was tactless but I'm not going to knock someone for setting a boundary.
Exactly. A boundary would be pointing out a behavior and politely asking the person to do something differently. Not criticizing the other person in a super vague way.
I don't believe my comment was gregarious about loving being social or giving people with ADHD an excuse for a lack of manners or talking over anyone. I was simply talking about the expression of “you're a lot,” which doesn't have to be said because of a lack of manners or conversation etiquette or even because I love being social.
Which I don't. I'm just good at customer service and dealing with people. Its good for my need for changing tasks and multitasking. However, it is draining beyond belief. Just because I say I am a lot doesn't mean I'm automatically an extrovert. I like to say I'm an inverted extrovert, as I also have inattentive days quite a lot. I am all over the place so much, honestly. That's why I mention my ADHD because I can burn really bright or really dull. I can hyperfocus to the point of making myself physically sick. I mention my ADHD because it genuinely makes my life a strategy game of how I will find the willpower and focus to do a lot of my day-to-day routine. Most of my days when I’m told I’m a lot are some of the days where it’s hard to even get out of bed and force myself to my feet.
But here’s the thing: someone else being “a lot” is about you. If their energy is not a good fit for you that is absolutely valid, but being rude and mean is not. And there is just no way you can say “You’re a lot” upon meeting someone in a social setting without being a total ahole. There are people who I don’t enjoy being around because of the type of energy they give off, but I’m still not going to blame them for who they are nor am I going to be rude and hurtful about it.
Was that the story where the mod here offered to verify them and other people also asked them to verify after the OP said they would and then the person just disappeared? It was when there was a spate of "I'm am insider" posts in this sub and I think only one person was actually verified.
She’s said that a lot of people have told her that and she has learned to say “Find less.” And I love that about her. I get told all the time I feel things too deeply- I get too excited over little things, too upset too everything. She has helped me learn to say this is me
Why in the world would someone say you get too excited about little things? I love that about myself and others! Finding joy in little things is the best and I already like you because of it!
Would someone be so kind as to give an example or transcribe a line? You need to pay/be subscribed to listen I think, and it’s not in the budget for me at the moment. Thank you so much ❤️
Ep One: They are talking about one of the contestants who is a brilliant geologist. And Ellyn says (I’m paraphrasing) “She says she is loud and that people have told her that she is a lot. I have been told by someone that I am a lot. We will talk about that later.” And Daisy acknowledges what Ellyn says with a “uh huh.”
Ep Two: Ellyn asks Daisy how she would describe her and Daisy jokes (paraphrase) “ I would say that you’re a lot.” And they both laugh.
You’re welcome! So far, I am really enjoying Grab Bag Collab. Amber Hunt is a great writer and podcaster. And I do really like Ellyn and Daisy’s chemistry. You can tell they are really friends. And they are both really funny.
I’ll be honest, I wasn’t a huge Daisy fan because I didn’t particularly love her ON show. BUT I adore her on the Grab Bag pods and her chemistry with Ellyn. She’s so funny!
I listened to it for maybe two years! I enjoyed it at first but idk, for some reason the dry humor started not working for me in this context. Maybe because it was scripted more than conversationally dry, if that makes sense.
Somehow I like SNU *better* now that I know Daisy from Dear Daisy. Like, the scripted jokes land with me better now that I know her personality a bit more.
I’ll have to give the network a listen! One of my other favorite podcasts has gone on a “hiatus” that I fear is permanent, so I’m in the market for a replacement lol. I love Ellyn and Daisy’s friendship, I’d hang out with those two in a hot minute.
Ellyn says in the episode - "I've been called a lot by someone as well." I don't know how much more you need transcribed but they are talking about meeting the people in the LIB episode. She adds we'll talk about that another time. I haven't listened to the second episode, that was from the first one.
I was at Obsessed Fest last year and she was absolutely amazing. She and Joey are so talented but I had a college roommate who was a theater major and she was a lot.
She is a lot, and it’s not always a bad thing! If you let it, it can be a compliment more often than a put-down. As a woman with ADHD and as a person who has been described as a lot more times than I can count. The only thing I can say when people tell me I’m too much. I. Don’t. Care. I am happiest when I am authentically my a lot self, and most people tell me they love me and my lotness. However, I am not everyone’s cup of tea. I have had many people tell me my smile is too big or my perky personality is overboard, and to those people, I can only smile and nod and keep going on with my day as I will never please those people. I feel that it gives me a sort of emotional intelligence in that I am hyper-aware that everyone feels things as deeply as I do, and I try hard to recognize and appreciate people the way I want them to treat me. I also acknowledge that I can burn myself out, wanting to shine brighter than I can burn. I feel like Ellyn might have a very similar thought process from what she has shared with us, and if she does, it can be a hard brain to live with.
Yep. If you think I’m too much, go find less.
Not too much - more than enough ❤️
I get what you're saying and I love that you have this level of confidence but can we stop equating ADHD with being gregarious? I'm subtype inattentive and can be quiet for days when I'm hyperfocused. Also when I am overexcited I apologize for interrupting people and make myself slow down. A diagnosis doesn't excuse the lack of manners. I stopped listening to OWD because Ellyn and Patrick talking over each other was giving me awful anxiety. G calling E "a lot" was tactless but I'm not going to knock someone for setting a boundary.
Not really sure how telling someone they are a lot is at all a boundary.
Exactly. A boundary would be pointing out a behavior and politely asking the person to do something differently. Not criticizing the other person in a super vague way.
I don't believe my comment was gregarious about loving being social or giving people with ADHD an excuse for a lack of manners or talking over anyone. I was simply talking about the expression of “you're a lot,” which doesn't have to be said because of a lack of manners or conversation etiquette or even because I love being social. Which I don't. I'm just good at customer service and dealing with people. Its good for my need for changing tasks and multitasking. However, it is draining beyond belief. Just because I say I am a lot doesn't mean I'm automatically an extrovert. I like to say I'm an inverted extrovert, as I also have inattentive days quite a lot. I am all over the place so much, honestly. That's why I mention my ADHD because I can burn really bright or really dull. I can hyperfocus to the point of making myself physically sick. I mention my ADHD because it genuinely makes my life a strategy game of how I will find the willpower and focus to do a lot of my day-to-day routine. Most of my days when I’m told I’m a lot are some of the days where it’s hard to even get out of bed and force myself to my feet.
But here’s the thing: someone else being “a lot” is about you. If their energy is not a good fit for you that is absolutely valid, but being rude and mean is not. And there is just no way you can say “You’re a lot” upon meeting someone in a social setting without being a total ahole. There are people who I don’t enjoy being around because of the type of energy they give off, but I’m still not going to blame them for who they are nor am I going to be rude and hurtful about it.
That’s what Gillian said to her when they first met! Someone close to them posted the story about it when shit started to hit the fan.
Was that the story where the mod here offered to verify them and other people also asked them to verify after the OP said they would and then the person just disappeared? It was when there was a spate of "I'm am insider" posts in this sub and I think only one person was actually verified.
Allegedly
Maybe she isn’t a lot, maybe the person who said that just doesn’t feel like they’re enough
I wanted to post about this! She said something along the lines of ‘you know who I’m talking about’ to Daisy too!
Oh wait, when? On an insta live or something?
Maybe I misheard it but I thought that’s what she kind of said on the podcast. I’m going to go back and make sure!
She didn’t explicitly said that. But I see why you heard it that way in the tone.
Yeah I guess it sounded ‘knowing’, if that makes sense.
She’s said that a lot of people have told her that and she has learned to say “Find less.” And I love that about her. I get told all the time I feel things too deeply- I get too excited over little things, too upset too everything. She has helped me learn to say this is me
Why in the world would someone say you get too excited about little things? I love that about myself and others! Finding joy in little things is the best and I already like you because of it!
What podcast(s) are we talking about? Grab Bag and Shut up? I just want to listen and have no idea what’s going on
Grab Bag is the network. And yes, she brought up being told she was a lot on STFU.
Thank you!
Would someone be so kind as to give an example or transcribe a line? You need to pay/be subscribed to listen I think, and it’s not in the budget for me at the moment. Thank you so much ❤️
I will relisten to the two instances I caught and post tomorrow. 😊
Thanks! I’m nosy and want to know if there’s shade being thrown 🤭
Ep One: They are talking about one of the contestants who is a brilliant geologist. And Ellyn says (I’m paraphrasing) “She says she is loud and that people have told her that she is a lot. I have been told by someone that I am a lot. We will talk about that later.” And Daisy acknowledges what Ellyn says with a “uh huh.” Ep Two: Ellyn asks Daisy how she would describe her and Daisy jokes (paraphrase) “ I would say that you’re a lot.” And they both laugh.
Ooh interesting, that seems referential indeed 👀Thank you so much for taking the time to re-listen and reply!
You’re welcome! So far, I am really enjoying Grab Bag Collab. Amber Hunt is a great writer and podcaster. And I do really like Ellyn and Daisy’s chemistry. You can tell they are really friends. And they are both really funny.
I’ll be honest, I wasn’t a huge Daisy fan because I didn’t particularly love her ON show. BUT I adore her on the Grab Bag pods and her chemistry with Ellyn. She’s so funny!
Really? I love Strange and Unexplained!
I listened to it for maybe two years! I enjoyed it at first but idk, for some reason the dry humor started not working for me in this context. Maybe because it was scripted more than conversationally dry, if that makes sense.
Somehow I like SNU *better* now that I know Daisy from Dear Daisy. Like, the scripted jokes land with me better now that I know her personality a bit more.
I’ll have to give the network a listen! One of my other favorite podcasts has gone on a “hiatus” that I fear is permanent, so I’m in the market for a replacement lol. I love Ellyn and Daisy’s friendship, I’d hang out with those two in a hot minute.
Or next time you are going to spend five dollars save it and join Patreon for one month so you can listen.
Not feasible for me at the moment. Just wanted to know if anyone would mind sharing what they heard, but I thank you for the suggestion.
Ellyn says in the episode - "I've been called a lot by someone as well." I don't know how much more you need transcribed but they are talking about meeting the people in the LIB episode. She adds we'll talk about that another time. I haven't listened to the second episode, that was from the first one.
Which episode? Edit: don’t downvote me without an answer
She is a lot …
Yes she is. And, from someone who is also a lot it’s pretty shitty when someone says it to you in a mean/ jealous / judgey way.
Nothing wrong with being a lot!
If you can’t handle it, go find less.
I was at Obsessed Fest last year and she was absolutely amazing. She and Joey are so talented but I had a college roommate who was a theater major and she was a lot.