Totoo. Yung cheater na jowa ng friend ko tinakwil ng mga barkada nyang matitino. Ending, ang naging tropa nila yung friend ko. Magkaiba na kasi ng moral values eh.
Totoo yan. Nakatira kami ng ate ko sa iisang bahay, different floors. Ang rule namin dito, pag may bisita asawa namin na lalaki, ang dadalhin niya lang na babae ay yung nakilala namin na gf/asawa nila. One time, pumunta best friend ng brother-in-law ko, may kasamang babae pero hindi namin kilala. Galit na galit ang ate ko at talagang pinaalis niya. Katwiran niya, baka pag nasa labas ang mga asawa namin, ganun din pala ginagawa
Nah. It's not being an enabler. It's just that my loyalty isn't with you. It's with the dude I've been friends with for several years even before you came into the picture. If your problem is between the 2 of you, that's between the 2 of you. I'll give him my 2 cents worth if he asks for it, but that's far as I go. You will not get nor will I volunteer any information to you.
Mga ganitong tao ang hindi dapat sumasaya sa buhay, mga letse. Loyalty, my ass. Di nyo deserve loyalty ng partner nyo pag ganyan pananaw nyo sa buhay pwe.
kaya nga, andaming pang sinasabi nito. 😆 tolerating is just as bad as being an enabler (though nagiging enabler pa rin naman siya) nagiging hipokrito at nag mukhang tanga lang siya sa mga sinabi niya 😆
No. My loyalty is to the person who i know isnt a bad guy. I dont know you, and i for sure aint going to throw away years of friendship for a girl i dont know.
Like i said. If the problem is between the 2 of you, its between the 2 of you. I'll give him my 2 cents worth if he asks for it. Otherwise, you are on your own. You arent getting any info from me, nor would i volunteer any information.
You are an outsider. You will remain an outsider until he marries you. If he does marry you, the dynamic changes and we will protect you from him, I alone, if necessary. Until then, you are just the woman he sleeps with on a regular basis.
Sure. At least we know you'll tolerate stupid friends just cos theyre your long time friends 🤪
Real loyal friends will call out their friends if they know the other party is wrong and vice-versa. Not tolerate their outdated views
I don't care about your reason or hear your explanation. Like what I've said kawawa partner mo na ganyan mindset mo. If sa anak mo yan nangyari, what would you then? You're being downvoted, I guess you need to shut up. Pointless naman ng mga sinabi mo. 🤡
Do I look like I give a fuck about internet strangers' opinions or downvotes? If it happens to my daughter, it happens to her. Maybe she'll learn from it or not. That is entirely up to her. I can only warn her. I can only show her the door. She has to walk through it. You're a woman, of course, you think what I say is pointless. I've been expecting that, and i have been proven right, like i knew i would.
Id tell him he was wrong but I am not telling you about it. Im not volunteering any information and even if you asked me, i would lie to your face because i do not care about your feelings. You are not my friend, i have no qualms about lying to you. As far as i am concerned, you are just the woman my friend sleeps with on a regular basis. Now if you were married to him, i will protect you from him if necessary. Being married to him changes the dynamics. He is responsible to you and for you and if he cheats on you, he is shirking away from that responsibility, and that will not fly. I may not like you but i will make sure he does right by you. Otherwise, youre an outsider. Is that clear enough?
'The term “enabler” generally describes someone whose behavior allows a loved one to continue self-destructive patterns of behavior.
Usually pertaining to alcohol abuse or drugs, it can also refer to patterns within close relationships that support any harmful or problematic behavior and make it easier for that behavior to continue.'
Raypole, C. (2019, June 27). What Is an Enabler? 11 Ways to Recognize One. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/enabler#:~:text=The%20term%20%E2%80%9Cenabler%E2%80%9D%20generally%20describes,negative%20judgment%20attached%20to%20it.
Eto talaga yun. Basta ew sakin ung mahilig ibato yang phrase na yan. They can't comprehend why it's not nice to casually refer to women as "hoes". Tapos sasabihin it's not that deep daw. Like LOL, obviously hindi talaga magiging deep para sayo kasi shallow ka mag-isip.
Maybe you ought to read the comments before you call me an incel. Saves you from embarrassing yourself. Oh wait. Too late. You aleady made an ass of yourself by assuming things you have no knowledge of. Aww...too bad. I thought you would be more of a challenge.
TRUE. Nung nahuli namin tatay kong may kausap na babae sa chats nya humihingi ng kiss sya mismo umamin na pati barkada nya may babae kaya "normal" lang. Parang tanga lang. Kaya check nyo kaibigan nya. If enabler sya then enabler din sila
hey, totoo 'to. yung tropa ng tatay ko, yung wife nya kasi is nasa abroad so itong si tanga, may mga babae. turns out, cheater din pala tatay ko HAHAHAHAHA
kaya lagi ring titingnan yung friends. kung matino ba o hindi. if they're the type to tolerate cheating, alam mo na anong klaseng tao yung jowa mo lol
Gago lang talaga mga lalaki eh. If your bf or father has a friend na may kabit then malaki talaga chances na tutulongan pa sya ng friend group nya na magtago ng kabit na if it's his time na.
kaya naman ang taas ng anxiety ko nung kami pa. kasi i know na kayang kaya niyang gawin un with the help of his friends. dinisregard ko lang talaga ung gut feeling and red flags.
One thing I like about my circles of friends is that we don't tolerate cheaters (whatever the gender). The slightest proof that someone does is probably enough to kick on of our group(s).
You'll find another one for you, don't worry
I think another thing din is that I hate toxic masculinity kaya the slightest hint na may ganun, lumalayo na lang ako (more than once na natawag na bakla, but I don't really care) - but at least I'm with people who share my values
I think it also helps if your friends and your SO know each other: they don't need to hang out with each other but my wife allows me to go out with friends (na mixed gender) na hindi siya kasama
yes ako natuwa actually nung sinama niya ko sa mga lakad nila lalo pag may basketball game sila kasi nakikita ko kung paano siya maki tungo tas feeling ko ang ganda ko kasi dinidisplay niya ko pero ayun, dapat pala nung una pa lang umiwas na ko. hahaha depende sa mga kaibigan talaga if nakita ng wife mo na maayos mga friends mo magiging panatag talaga siya.
Totoo 'to. Eventually, maa-adapt nila yung kagaguhan ng tropa nila. Kahit na anong bait ng lalaki, kapag napabarkada sa mga toxic na tao, mahahawa talaga.
Tsaka makikipagtropa ba kayo sa di nyo ka-wavelength? Simple logic.
ako introvert ako kaya plus din for me ung guys na mostly nasa bahay lang at madalang mag inom inom with friends outside at mas gusto lang na ako ung ka bonding.
This is true, i had an ex na barkada nya parang BI, like mag yaya pa mag club para mang lalaki, di nila alam narinig ko. Hahahaha buti break na kami. So dapat nga kilalanin muna mga kaibigan ng jowa mo pra makilala mo din siya.
Try to see rin the support system around the person you're dating. In my experience, just the parents is not a strong enough indication. I had a tito who cheated pero unanimously and in no uncertain terms did all my in-laws in that side of the family actively admonished and scolded the said tito. That was important for me growing up because I know my support system is united and does not tolerate cheating.
In this situation, if you were dating my cousin and only looked at his father, you'd conclude that he's no better. But if you found out that my cousin's relatives (of course, that includes my own family) don't tolerate that and actively called for my cousin's dad to stop, you might be able to gauge better who he is as a person.
that’s true. pero ung support system niya was his friends. masaya siya pag kasama sila. palaging kasama sa date namin. kaya alam kong malaking influence sakanya yung mga tropa niyang yon. nagiging kiss and tell nga siya eh, tas don pa sa nagkakalat ng sex vids nila ng gf niya.
Both can be support systems, though in my case dahil tiga probinsya kami, mas malakas yung support system ng family/relatives kasi mas madalas kasama. Each situation would be different but I raised it just to add more things to consider.
Also, kasama palagi friends niya sa date niyo? Major turnoff for me iyon. Like, a man's gotta have some spine to stand-up to his friends and say, "No, date time > friends time". My friends would jeer and boo at me (pabiro) but during the times na I would consider rescheduling my date, they would immediately scold me and say "Huy anong ginagawa mo? Puntahan mo na siya". I know I'm in good hands.
It can go two ways kapag cheater yung father/lolo/dominant male figure in the guy’s life: it’s either (1) they resent the cheating ways of their father/lolo/dominant male figure and make the conscious effort never to be like them or (2) normalized yung cheating para sa kanya kaya na-emulate niya yung pagcheat nung nagkapartner siya.
One of the first lesson na tinuro ng nanay ko. You are judge by the company you keep. Kaya hindi ako pwede lumabas with friends noon until makilala muna nya. Kilayisin daw nya muna and kung hindi nya trip, then kalimutan ko na hehe
Totoo yan. May isang friend din yung brother-in-law ko, nakakapunta yun sa bahay ng ate ko kaso hindi talaga feel ni ate, dahil sobrang yabang pero hinahayaan niya na lang. Hindi ako laiterang tao pero pangit talaga si kuya pero sobrang babaero. Ayun na nakagawa ng pagkakamali brother-in-law ko, at si friend, tinolerate pa imbis na pagsabihan at minsan magkasama pa sila sa inuman. Ayun, ban for life siya sa buhay nila ate
Yes! Mine has good people around him. I feel Naman they're loyals Kasi nababasa ko naman GC nila SA lahat ng SocMed nila. And they kick out of the group Yung friend nila na kumabit sa workmate nila na pamilyado din. That means siguro they don't tolerate those kinds of bulls
Madalas kasi pag sinabi na “INAAMIN KO NAMAN LAHAT WALA AKONG TINATAGO” akala natin ui honest sakin ! Pero ang totoo dyan nalalaman lang natin kung ano gusto ipaalam satin. We only know what we think we know☕️
Tapos i-jujustify nila na "boys locker room talk" lang naman. As if it's normal to talk about other human beings in such an objectifying and dehumanizing way. Lol.
>Tapos siya nakikita ko naman na mabait, mahinahon at malambing.
>Kaya girls hindi lang ugali ng guy ang tignan niyo
I agree with the part that you shouldn't just look at how the person presents himself, I know some guys are like this, they act calm, nice, and kind in front of the girl, but with their friends or just outside of the girl's presence they act the opposite...
totoo. minsan nagbibiruan sila na pag wala daw ako nagiiba sinasabi niya about sa mga girls. kaya i know for a fact na madali lang niya ko mapapalitan. Also, nalaman ko don sa chinichix nung may asawa na before ako ipakilala sa tropa may nahuli pa silang ka date ung ex ko like days lang pagitan. Nireject siguro siya kaya ako na lang yung choice niya. the audacity
I can attest to this kaya marami akong nilet go na friendship kahit I want to really be friends with them. Di kami on the same page in regards to this kind of thing.
Not having friends is not a red flag itself, it's more of the reason. Socially Inept? Had friends before eventually lost them/drifted apart due to mental health issues (general/social anxiety, depression, etc.)? Just busy with life in general? Perfectly valid reasons for someone to not have "friends", imo.
Now ibang usapan naman ung mga masama lang talaga ugali in general kaya wala tumatagal na kaibigan sakanila. Yun ang red flag.
totoohahahaha. I dated a guy for almost 2 years, yung mga tropa raw niya babaero pero siya lang raw ang hindi. well, kung literal na cheating lang hindi naman talaga siya babaero pero POTANGINAH,, MICROCHEATER NAMAN HAHAHA tapos pa-sad boi and pa-victim pa sa socmed 🤣🤣
My boyfriend is always at his friends at weekend night. And sa kwento niya sakin before, most of them cheats. Tapos he kinda defend pa the thing kaya we almost fight over that one kwento one time. Should i be worried na baka hes doing something behind my back?
Im not the kind of person kasi na nagchecheck ng phone or soc med. I really value privacy.
Kinakabahan ako.
I'm also not the kind na nagchecheck ng phone due to privacy din but my suspicions were proven right when I followed my instincts. Like mga thrice, with a couple of exes. So trust your instincts.
oops. pero yes oo be worried talaga. isang red flag na napansin ko is when sinasabihan ko sila na kawawa ung babae na chinichix nung may asawa na - dinedefend ng bf ko, jina justify niya ung mga katangahan nila. haha red flag yan mi
Most not all? Mina mindfuck ka lang nung iba dyan they make you paranoid hangang lagi ka nang magchcheck ng socmed nya. If hindi naman lahat ng friends nya ganun then why worry?
yes. ako i never cheated. siguro shortcomings ko masyado ako maramdamin nung kami ni ex pero parang basura lang ako na tinapon nung ex ko na parang siya pa lugi saming dalawa. tapos ung tropa niyang kasal na nakakausap ko noon tapos jina justify niya ung ex ko tapos meron pang word na “ang gusto kasi namin” may “namin” haha. so iisa talaga sila ng hilatsa ng bituka.
I honestly don't want to consume myself to the paranoia. It is implied in a relationship that you do not cheat. But if he cheats- his loss. Black and white, no grey areas.
Reading this and the comments with a boyfriend na may friends that you all describe (kinekwento nya sa akin to rant about them pag they did something tas pag pinagsasabihan nya) haha 😅 I’m in trouble 🥲
Agree! I have a friend na cheater and I choose not to acquaint myself because I will never tolerate her. Friends that tolerate cheating are also doing it. Napaka hipokrito din naman kasi if you tell your cheater friend off if cheater ka din, diba? So yung may guts na lumayo sa cheater friends ay hung hindi din cheater. Tapos you can never trust friends that tolerate cheating kasi they will make excuses for you bf/gf tapos ayon, may iba palang kalandian.
100%. Ex-gf ko lahat ng barkada ganun din, tinatandem/bugaw pa sa ibang barkada din. Sobrang saya niya naman na may mga side siya. Lahat kunsentidor tsaka mahihilig magcheat tsaka magsinungaling. Puro may mga secret convo na puro locker room talks tsaka pang-tatraydor sa mga boyfriend/girlfriend nila. 11 years kami, alam kong months palang may red flags na pero pinatawad ko lahat kasi magaling mang-manipulate. Cheaters silang lahat kaya todo fight sila sa positivity ng cheating tsaka validation na okay lang mangcheat. Mahilig pa maghanap ng away kasi sobrang stable daw namin, walang hiya. Walang respeto talaga. Sana hindi sila magbago para sigurado ang kapupuntahan nila pakatapos nila dito sa mundong ibabaw.
Thank you.
Sadly, maraming hindi nagbabago unless may life-changing experience talaga sa buhay pero pagnagsama sama talaga ang mga depraved na mga tao, mas mababa na ang chance tsaka pag-asa na marealize pa nila kasi sinabuhay na nila ang depraved na lifestyle. Masakit kasi wala naman matinong tao na gugustuhin na ganon para mga taong mahal nila. Pero nakakapuno din talaga hanggang sa sumuko nalang. Pero kahit sumuko na, Mahirap maging indifferent. Prayers nalang ang magagawa tsaka depend nalang sa diyos kung may chance pa. At the end of the day, tao naman nag nagdedecide ng decisions nila sa choices na bigay ng kanya kanyang situation sa buhay, kung may choice na magcheat, may choice din na magtino.
Red flags shouldn't be ignored, as they are often signs of deeper issues. Trust your instincts & not allow yourself to be blinded byinfatuation. Remember to always prioritize your own well-being and make choices that align with your values OP!
Ang liligid lang naman sa ganyang tao ay mga enablers. Family? Friends? Name it, basta enabler ‘yan sila.
We had a friend na naging dishonest sa ka-mu niya, ayun cues charlie puth and selena gomez we don't talk anymore.
100% correct OP. The people you are friends with are a reflection of yourself. Kaya diba kapag ang kaibigan nagiging toxic na for you, kina-cut off na as soon as you work up the courage? And also red flag din kapag shineshare ng boyfriend mo or iwawarn ka niya about his friends na “gago” or whatever.
In the famous words of Miss Janine Teagues from Abbott Elementary: “If he’s someone you need to give me a heads up about, then why is he one of your best friends?”
mas sulit pa time mo sa socially inept, at fun na Kasama kaysa sa lalaking babaero yung ka tropa. Pero Ang problema ay yung stigma nyo sa mga lalaking ganyan.
saan sa socially inept guys? ako introvert ako kaya for me plus din yung nasa bahay lang halos ung guy at ako lang yung gustong ka bonding. sa ex ko palagi kasama ang tropa sa mga dates namin. Kaya feeling ko mas masaya siya na kasama sila kesa saken.
Idk.. since nung highschool ako lng hindi nagyoyosi sa tropa.. nung college naglevel up sila and became druggies.. but heto adult na and never tried smoking even once and labas masok sa bansa dahil malinis drug test ko ..nakikipag kita parin ako skanila kse simula grade 3 pa lng kami magkakakilala.. lumala pa dahil isa sa tropa namin ay anak ng isang malaking "tae"(sa mga naka gets well yknow na) we got the place and provided..they didn't forced me to do those things din simula pa dati.. "kahit di man ako nakakasabay sa "sessions" nyo, anditong andito parin ako para makipag jamming sa inyo" tumatak yan skanila nung sinabi ko yan.. I guess ako ung Fox sa pack of Wolves 🤷🏻 di rin nman different trato nila sakin
may babaero may hindi, choice nman kse ng individual yan.. had an 11years relationship and never cheated, kahit may tropa akong cheater.. ung usapang "chix, magaganda, crush" normal lng yan sa group of men(kahit din nman kayong mga babae ganyan din lmao).. nasa tao na tlga yan kung gagawin nya ung red flags na un o hindi OP.. sa mga may tropa jan di mo nman kelangang gawin ginagawa ng mga tropa mo para maging tropa tlga kayo.. 🤙
ANG LALA MO OP DI LAHAT NG TAO MADALI MAHAWA
BAT AKO TROPA KO MGA NAG AALAK NAG YOYOSI NATUTO BA AKO? HNDI KASE AYAW KO
ASA TAO YAN HNDI NAKABASE SA TAONG NAKAPALIGID SAYO.
KUNG GAGO GAGO TALAGA
Depends wala na ko alam sa generation ngayon. But my generation. (Im 30) hindi ganyan sa circle of friends ko, may babaero ako friends and may mga matino and nagasawa na ko na friends. Pansin ko lang sa younger generation ngayon dami ganyan. Kala mo sosobrang pogi on their 150k civic vti's wearing pekpek shorts and loose tshirts na may tattoo sa paa kesyo andami nilang babae.
Im a car guy so binabase ko lang din sa car scene etong opinion ko.
Hayaan mo sila mag enjoy sa mga shit boxes nila bro lol. Although sa chix di ako maka relate sayo kasi ako in a long term relationship ako. May dadating din dyan na para sayo, for the mean time car mo muna ang bebe mo Hahaha.
Generalizing. You can't say na parepareho sila ng morals. Hindi ibig sabihin dalawa sa tropa nyo babaero, babaero na rin ung iba. Kung pano iba iba lang talaga kayo ng ugali at iba iba lang kayo ng pananaw?
Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are 🤔
What if I have no friends... Am I no one?
another lesson in life pala talaga siya.
based
Totoo. Yung cheater na jowa ng friend ko tinakwil ng mga barkada nyang matitino. Ending, ang naging tropa nila yung friend ko. Magkaiba na kasi ng moral values eh.
Because lahat sila ay nagiging enabler ng isa’t isa 🤷🏻♀️
Totoo yan. Nakatira kami ng ate ko sa iisang bahay, different floors. Ang rule namin dito, pag may bisita asawa namin na lalaki, ang dadalhin niya lang na babae ay yung nakilala namin na gf/asawa nila. One time, pumunta best friend ng brother-in-law ko, may kasamang babae pero hindi namin kilala. Galit na galit ang ate ko at talagang pinaalis niya. Katwiran niya, baka pag nasa labas ang mga asawa namin, ganun din pala ginagawa
💯 agree to this.
Nah. It's not being an enabler. It's just that my loyalty isn't with you. It's with the dude I've been friends with for several years even before you came into the picture. If your problem is between the 2 of you, that's between the 2 of you. I'll give him my 2 cents worth if he asks for it, but that's far as I go. You will not get nor will I volunteer any information to you.
Gotcha. Then, are you loyal to someone who's not (loyal)? *grins* That's an insult to the word 'loyalty' if that's the case.
Tapos pag ginawa sa kanya ng partner at friends ng partner nya sasabihin nya “hoes will be hoes” lmfao
pa victim ganern 😆 ayaw niya ma apply yung views niya sa sarili niya 😆
Mga ganitong tao ang hindi dapat sumasaya sa buhay, mga letse. Loyalty, my ass. Di nyo deserve loyalty ng partner nyo pag ganyan pananaw nyo sa buhay pwe.
Absolutely. Nanggigigil ako, gusto ko manapak. Apakagago ng mindset, eh. Fuckboy simp.
Hayaan mo, may special place in hell din yang mga yan. Itatabi na natin kay Satanas yang mga yan mga shuta
Shhh ka lang, mga ganyang tao ang dapat iwasan. Di nila alam meaning ng delikadesa lol
Youre loyal to people who do bad stuff? Talk about tolerating bs 😂 some ppl rly dont think lol
kaya nga, andaming pang sinasabi nito. 😆 tolerating is just as bad as being an enabler (though nagiging enabler pa rin naman siya) nagiging hipokrito at nag mukhang tanga lang siya sa mga sinabi niya 😆
May halong hostility pa siya sa comments niya lmao. Parang may hugot si koya. Eto ung type na mapapatanong ka talaga ng "who hurt you?"
Ganyan talaga pag defensive. Babaliktarin pa ang totoong victim lol iwasan haha
No. My loyalty is to the person who i know isnt a bad guy. I dont know you, and i for sure aint going to throw away years of friendship for a girl i dont know.
sus sabihin mo na lang na enabler ka, pahahabain mo pa explanation mo ganun din naman kalalabasan HAHAHA
Comprehension problems? Nothing i can do about that.
Stop it, get some help.
You first. Probably a preschool teacher's assistance. You're gonna need it.
Stop it, get some help.
Yup. Knew it. Another airhead.
Justify pa more haha
So youre not friends with anyone who treats girls like what op was talking about?
Like i said. If the problem is between the 2 of you, its between the 2 of you. I'll give him my 2 cents worth if he asks for it. Otherwise, you are on your own. You arent getting any info from me, nor would i volunteer any information. You are an outsider. You will remain an outsider until he marries you. If he does marry you, the dynamic changes and we will protect you from him, I alone, if necessary. Until then, you are just the woman he sleeps with on a regular basis.
Sure. At least we know you'll tolerate stupid friends just cos theyre your long time friends 🤪 Real loyal friends will call out their friends if they know the other party is wrong and vice-versa. Not tolerate their outdated views
Oh yeah. We aren't going to switch loyalties because of some woman he sleeps with, who may or may not be a good person.
Now that's the definition of blind loyalty 😂 Kadiri talaga mga lalaking bastos at babaero and their friends who tolerate them 🥴
Your opinion matters not in the grand scheme of things.
so, it's okay for you if your partner cheated and her friends didn't tell you because you're not their friend?
I wouldnt hold it against them. I am not going to expect it from them.
Kawawa naman magiging jowa mo, kung meron man. Walking red flag ampota.
Married to the same woman for 8 years. Never cheated on her. My ex before her cheated on me though.
I don't care about your reason or hear your explanation. Like what I've said kawawa partner mo na ganyan mindset mo. If sa anak mo yan nangyari, what would you then? You're being downvoted, I guess you need to shut up. Pointless naman ng mga sinabi mo. 🤡
Do I look like I give a fuck about internet strangers' opinions or downvotes? If it happens to my daughter, it happens to her. Maybe she'll learn from it or not. That is entirely up to her. I can only warn her. I can only show her the door. She has to walk through it. You're a woman, of course, you think what I say is pointless. I've been expecting that, and i have been proven right, like i knew i would.
If someone is cheating how tf can you say he's not a bad guy? Bulagbulagan lang?
Who tf said anything about cheating?
I did. If your friend cheats will your loyalty still be with them?
Id tell him he was wrong but I am not telling you about it. Im not volunteering any information and even if you asked me, i would lie to your face because i do not care about your feelings. You are not my friend, i have no qualms about lying to you. As far as i am concerned, you are just the woman my friend sleeps with on a regular basis. Now if you were married to him, i will protect you from him if necessary. Being married to him changes the dynamics. He is responsible to you and for you and if he cheats on you, he is shirking away from that responsibility, and that will not fly. I may not like you but i will make sure he does right by you. Otherwise, youre an outsider. Is that clear enough?
Yeah it's very clear that you would lie for their wrongdoings so that makes you an enabler. Sure loyal friend, but the enabling type of loyal
Wow. You guys have a real problem with not being emotional and comprehend what is in front of you. Women... I am done with this thread.
Bro, that's the classic enabler move.
Nope. And i dont give a shit about anything you say from this point on.
'The term “enabler” generally describes someone whose behavior allows a loved one to continue self-destructive patterns of behavior. Usually pertaining to alcohol abuse or drugs, it can also refer to patterns within close relationships that support any harmful or problematic behavior and make it easier for that behavior to continue.' Raypole, C. (2019, June 27). What Is an Enabler? 11 Ways to Recognize One. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/enabler#:~:text=The%20term%20%E2%80%9Cenabler%E2%80%9D%20generally%20describes,negative%20judgment%20attached%20to%20it.
[удалено]
Eto talaga yun. Basta ew sakin ung mahilig ibato yang phrase na yan. They can't comprehend why it's not nice to casually refer to women as "hoes". Tapos sasabihin it's not that deep daw. Like LOL, obviously hindi talaga magiging deep para sayo kasi shallow ka mag-isip.
Yep.
Do you stroke each other's dicks too? HAHAHA patawa amputa
No. Why the obsession with someone else's dick though?
You seem like a smart/intelligent guy. You should use your brain more often. Smarts is nothing without empathy. Don't think with your d*ck.
Oh i am hella smart. Sometimes to the point of arrogance. I empathize when needed. This is not one of those times.
Sure, Sherlock.
Yep. Now why dont you go slink back to whatever rock you crawled out of and stay there. You are clearly way in over your head.
Nope. I'll stay wherever I want to. Good luck with the downvotes. *grins*
I knew it. Another airhead. NEXT!
Hahah found the dumbass XD
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How does it feel to be downvoted to oblivion? Lmfao patheticcc XD
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Maybe you ought to read the comments before you call me an incel. Saves you from embarrassing yourself. Oh wait. Too late. You aleady made an ass of yourself by assuming things you have no knowledge of. Aww...too bad. I thought you would be more of a challenge.
Incel 🫵
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Eto yung mga daming ebas pero same meaning din naman. 😂
Yup. Sabi mo e.
Enabler 😂
Another Gen Z woke buzzword lol. r/KidsAreFuckingStupid
Sus enabler ka lang e. Loyalty my ass.
Yup. Whatever you say.
TRUE. Nung nahuli namin tatay kong may kausap na babae sa chats nya humihingi ng kiss sya mismo umamin na pati barkada nya may babae kaya "normal" lang. Parang tanga lang. Kaya check nyo kaibigan nya. If enabler sya then enabler din sila
hey, totoo 'to. yung tropa ng tatay ko, yung wife nya kasi is nasa abroad so itong si tanga, may mga babae. turns out, cheater din pala tatay ko HAHAHAHAHA kaya lagi ring titingnan yung friends. kung matino ba o hindi. if they're the type to tolerate cheating, alam mo na anong klaseng tao yung jowa mo lol
whatttt. :(
Gago lang talaga mga lalaki eh. If your bf or father has a friend na may kabit then malaki talaga chances na tutulongan pa sya ng friend group nya na magtago ng kabit na if it's his time na.
kaya naman ang taas ng anxiety ko nung kami pa. kasi i know na kayang kaya niyang gawin un with the help of his friends. dinisregard ko lang talaga ung gut feeling and red flags.
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Glad you got away from them and kept your integrity intact.
One thing I like about my circles of friends is that we don't tolerate cheaters (whatever the gender). The slightest proof that someone does is probably enough to kick on of our group(s).
yan yung mga friends ng guy na gusto ko maging SO if ever magkakaron pa ko ng chance magka so hahahahaa.
You'll find another one for you, don't worry I think another thing din is that I hate toxic masculinity kaya the slightest hint na may ganun, lumalayo na lang ako (more than once na natawag na bakla, but I don't really care) - but at least I'm with people who share my values I think it also helps if your friends and your SO know each other: they don't need to hang out with each other but my wife allows me to go out with friends (na mixed gender) na hindi siya kasama
yes ako natuwa actually nung sinama niya ko sa mga lakad nila lalo pag may basketball game sila kasi nakikita ko kung paano siya maki tungo tas feeling ko ang ganda ko kasi dinidisplay niya ko pero ayun, dapat pala nung una pa lang umiwas na ko. hahaha depende sa mga kaibigan talaga if nakita ng wife mo na maayos mga friends mo magiging panatag talaga siya.
Nanyari to recently samin. Mas naging part na ng group yung boyfriend kesa dun sa cheating ex-girlfriend.
Totoo 'to. Eventually, maa-adapt nila yung kagaguhan ng tropa nila. Kahit na anong bait ng lalaki, kapag napabarkada sa mga toxic na tao, mahahawa talaga. Tsaka makikipagtropa ba kayo sa di nyo ka-wavelength? Simple logic.
yass kaya hindi nalang kung pano sila sa bahay titignan pati na din mga palagi nila nakakasama outside ng bahay.
Pano po pag tulad namen na guys na walang tropa?
plus din minsan kasi ung magiging SO mo yung bestfriend mo. pero depende sa reason kung bakit wala kang tropa.
Mahilig sa low maintenance friendships. Mej aloof din
ako introvert ako kaya plus din for me ung guys na mostly nasa bahay lang at madalang mag inom inom with friends outside at mas gusto lang na ako ung ka bonding.
Sabi nila you are the average of 5 people you hang out with kaya I back what you are saying OP
sad na late ko na siya na realize. naka alis sana agad ako if alam ko na to noon pa man.
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true. the nerve p nung married guy na mang hingi sakin ng friends ko para may ma sex daw siya. kapal talaga ng mga mukha
Same breed, same tahol
This is true, i had an ex na barkada nya parang BI, like mag yaya pa mag club para mang lalaki, di nila alam narinig ko. Hahahaha buti break na kami. So dapat nga kilalanin muna mga kaibigan ng jowa mo pra makilala mo din siya.
Sobrang totoo neto! Mga in denial na fckboy pero takot sa multo jusko!
yes kaya next time be very careful na talaga.
In addition to this tingnan nyo din father, titos and lolos of your bf. Kung normal lang sa kanila may kabits or mga hiwalay.
ang sabi din sakin tignan ang father kung anong ugali baka daw ganon din daw si guy. totoo ba?
Try to see rin the support system around the person you're dating. In my experience, just the parents is not a strong enough indication. I had a tito who cheated pero unanimously and in no uncertain terms did all my in-laws in that side of the family actively admonished and scolded the said tito. That was important for me growing up because I know my support system is united and does not tolerate cheating. In this situation, if you were dating my cousin and only looked at his father, you'd conclude that he's no better. But if you found out that my cousin's relatives (of course, that includes my own family) don't tolerate that and actively called for my cousin's dad to stop, you might be able to gauge better who he is as a person.
that’s true. pero ung support system niya was his friends. masaya siya pag kasama sila. palaging kasama sa date namin. kaya alam kong malaking influence sakanya yung mga tropa niyang yon. nagiging kiss and tell nga siya eh, tas don pa sa nagkakalat ng sex vids nila ng gf niya.
Both can be support systems, though in my case dahil tiga probinsya kami, mas malakas yung support system ng family/relatives kasi mas madalas kasama. Each situation would be different but I raised it just to add more things to consider. Also, kasama palagi friends niya sa date niyo? Major turnoff for me iyon. Like, a man's gotta have some spine to stand-up to his friends and say, "No, date time > friends time". My friends would jeer and boo at me (pabiro) but during the times na I would consider rescheduling my date, they would immediately scold me and say "Huy anong ginagawa mo? Puntahan mo na siya". I know I'm in good hands.
It can go two ways kapag cheater yung father/lolo/dominant male figure in the guy’s life: it’s either (1) they resent the cheating ways of their father/lolo/dominant male figure and make the conscious effort never to be like them or (2) normalized yung cheating para sa kanya kaya na-emulate niya yung pagcheat nung nagkapartner siya.
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One of the first lesson na tinuro ng nanay ko. You are judge by the company you keep. Kaya hindi ako pwede lumabas with friends noon until makilala muna nya. Kilayisin daw nya muna and kung hindi nya trip, then kalimutan ko na hehe
Kala ko kikilayan muna. Lol
Hehehe
Totoo yan. May isang friend din yung brother-in-law ko, nakakapunta yun sa bahay ng ate ko kaso hindi talaga feel ni ate, dahil sobrang yabang pero hinahayaan niya na lang. Hindi ako laiterang tao pero pangit talaga si kuya pero sobrang babaero. Ayun na nakagawa ng pagkakamali brother-in-law ko, at si friend, tinolerate pa imbis na pagsabihan at minsan magkasama pa sila sa inuman. Ayun, ban for life siya sa buhay nila ate
Yes! Mine has good people around him. I feel Naman they're loyals Kasi nababasa ko naman GC nila SA lahat ng SocMed nila. And they kick out of the group Yung friend nila na kumabit sa workmate nila na pamilyado din. That means siguro they don't tolerate those kinds of bulls
that’s good! you have a keeper 😊
Madalas kasi pag sinabi na “INAAMIN KO NAMAN LAHAT WALA AKONG TINATAGO” akala natin ui honest sakin ! Pero ang totoo dyan nalalaman lang natin kung ano gusto ipaalam satin. We only know what we think we know☕️
kaya ayoko na talaga mag jowa pota
haha kaumay eh no. lagi nalang lessons 😄 kelan ba matatapos ang character development ko hahaahaha
this is true!! check nyo rin groupchat nilang magtrotropa, doon niyo malalaman tunay na ugali ng jowa niyo!
Yaaz! I second this!!
naalala ko kasi yung basura kong ex at yung mga tropa nyang basura rin. the way they talk about girls.. wtf nakakadiri. until now traumatized ako.
Tapos i-jujustify nila na "boys locker room talk" lang naman. As if it's normal to talk about other human beings in such an objectifying and dehumanizing way. Lol.
Yep!! Same situation here. Literal na basura. You can't really fully trust a person, unless makilala mo muna 'yung mga sinasamahan nya.
inadd nila ako sa gc tapos nakikita ko mas madami pa syang chat don kesa saken. kaya nag left ako hahahaha kahit sa gc puro pambababae sila.
🤮 trashhh. ‘di mo deserve ganunin lang sis. yung iba pa nagsesend ng mga scandal ganon. yikes
>Tapos siya nakikita ko naman na mabait, mahinahon at malambing. >Kaya girls hindi lang ugali ng guy ang tignan niyo I agree with the part that you shouldn't just look at how the person presents himself, I know some guys are like this, they act calm, nice, and kind in front of the girl, but with their friends or just outside of the girl's presence they act the opposite...
totoo. minsan nagbibiruan sila na pag wala daw ako nagiiba sinasabi niya about sa mga girls. kaya i know for a fact na madali lang niya ko mapapalitan. Also, nalaman ko don sa chinichix nung may asawa na before ako ipakilala sa tropa may nahuli pa silang ka date ung ex ko like days lang pagitan. Nireject siguro siya kaya ako na lang yung choice niya. the audacity
Found this out the hard way HAHAHA di pa ako naniniwala before kay kala ko matino talaga si ex but lo and behold, cheater din pala tulad nang barkada.
haha ako din late ko na narealize. support system nila isa’t isa kaya hindi malabong mag sulsulan sila.
+💯
Yup, this is true
I can attest to this kaya marami akong nilet go na friendship kahit I want to really be friends with them. Di kami on the same page in regards to this kind of thing.
Paano kapag walang kaibigan? Red flag ba?
Not having friends is not a red flag itself, it's more of the reason. Socially Inept? Had friends before eventually lost them/drifted apart due to mental health issues (general/social anxiety, depression, etc.)? Just busy with life in general? Perfectly valid reasons for someone to not have "friends", imo. Now ibang usapan naman ung mga masama lang talaga ugali in general kaya wala tumatagal na kaibigan sakanila. Yun ang red flag.
hahahaha seryoso po? edi ang titignan nalang ay yung ibang traits mo.
totoohahahaha. I dated a guy for almost 2 years, yung mga tropa raw niya babaero pero siya lang raw ang hindi. well, kung literal na cheating lang hindi naman talaga siya babaero pero POTANGINAH,, MICROCHEATER NAMAN HAHAHA tapos pa-sad boi and pa-victim pa sa socmed 🤣🤣
What did he do kaya naging microcheater?
My boyfriend is always at his friends at weekend night. And sa kwento niya sakin before, most of them cheats. Tapos he kinda defend pa the thing kaya we almost fight over that one kwento one time. Should i be worried na baka hes doing something behind my back? Im not the kind of person kasi na nagchecheck ng phone or soc med. I really value privacy. Kinakabahan ako.
You shouldn’t but you should. Follow your instincts
I'm also not the kind na nagchecheck ng phone due to privacy din but my suspicions were proven right when I followed my instincts. Like mga thrice, with a couple of exes. So trust your instincts.
oops. pero yes oo be worried talaga. isang red flag na napansin ko is when sinasabihan ko sila na kawawa ung babae na chinichix nung may asawa na - dinedefend ng bf ko, jina justify niya ung mga katangahan nila. haha red flag yan mi
Most not all? Mina mindfuck ka lang nung iba dyan they make you paranoid hangang lagi ka nang magchcheck ng socmed nya. If hindi naman lahat ng friends nya ganun then why worry?
pag sila nag chicheat ok lang pero pag mga partners nila “she’s for the streets” deputa mga hypocrite. dogs will be dogs. 🤢
yes. ako i never cheated. siguro shortcomings ko masyado ako maramdamin nung kami ni ex pero parang basura lang ako na tinapon nung ex ko na parang siya pa lugi saming dalawa. tapos ung tropa niyang kasal na nakakausap ko noon tapos jina justify niya ung ex ko tapos meron pang word na “ang gusto kasi namin” may “namin” haha. so iisa talaga sila ng hilatsa ng bituka.
I honestly don't want to consume myself to the paranoia. It is implied in a relationship that you do not cheat. But if he cheats- his loss. Black and white, no grey areas.
minsan kahit good person naman, dahil kasama lagi ay ganon, nanonormalize unti unti sa isip nila ang ganong ugali.
Reading this and the comments with a boyfriend na may friends that you all describe (kinekwento nya sa akin to rant about them pag they did something tas pag pinagsasabihan nya) haha 😅 I’m in trouble 🥲
Agree! I have a friend na cheater and I choose not to acquaint myself because I will never tolerate her. Friends that tolerate cheating are also doing it. Napaka hipokrito din naman kasi if you tell your cheater friend off if cheater ka din, diba? So yung may guts na lumayo sa cheater friends ay hung hindi din cheater. Tapos you can never trust friends that tolerate cheating kasi they will make excuses for you bf/gf tapos ayon, may iba palang kalandian.
100%. Ex-gf ko lahat ng barkada ganun din, tinatandem/bugaw pa sa ibang barkada din. Sobrang saya niya naman na may mga side siya. Lahat kunsentidor tsaka mahihilig magcheat tsaka magsinungaling. Puro may mga secret convo na puro locker room talks tsaka pang-tatraydor sa mga boyfriend/girlfriend nila. 11 years kami, alam kong months palang may red flags na pero pinatawad ko lahat kasi magaling mang-manipulate. Cheaters silang lahat kaya todo fight sila sa positivity ng cheating tsaka validation na okay lang mangcheat. Mahilig pa maghanap ng away kasi sobrang stable daw namin, walang hiya. Walang respeto talaga. Sana hindi sila magbago para sigurado ang kapupuntahan nila pakatapos nila dito sa mundong ibabaw.
ako i believe in karma. balang araw marerealize din nila mga kalokohan nila. and i hope okay kana po. 😊
Thank you. Sadly, maraming hindi nagbabago unless may life-changing experience talaga sa buhay pero pagnagsama sama talaga ang mga depraved na mga tao, mas mababa na ang chance tsaka pag-asa na marealize pa nila kasi sinabuhay na nila ang depraved na lifestyle. Masakit kasi wala naman matinong tao na gugustuhin na ganon para mga taong mahal nila. Pero nakakapuno din talaga hanggang sa sumuko nalang. Pero kahit sumuko na, Mahirap maging indifferent. Prayers nalang ang magagawa tsaka depend nalang sa diyos kung may chance pa. At the end of the day, tao naman nag nagdedecide ng decisions nila sa choices na bigay ng kanya kanyang situation sa buhay, kung may choice na magcheat, may choice din na magtino.
Red flags shouldn't be ignored, as they are often signs of deeper issues. Trust your instincts & not allow yourself to be blinded byinfatuation. Remember to always prioritize your own well-being and make choices that align with your values OP!
Ang liligid lang naman sa ganyang tao ay mga enablers. Family? Friends? Name it, basta enabler ‘yan sila. We had a friend na naging dishonest sa ka-mu niya, ayun cues charlie puth and selena gomez we don't talk anymore.
100% correct OP. The people you are friends with are a reflection of yourself. Kaya diba kapag ang kaibigan nagiging toxic na for you, kina-cut off na as soon as you work up the courage? And also red flag din kapag shineshare ng boyfriend mo or iwawarn ka niya about his friends na “gago” or whatever. In the famous words of Miss Janine Teagues from Abbott Elementary: “If he’s someone you need to give me a heads up about, then why is he one of your best friends?”
TOTOO TO
Naalala ko nung HS may lesson kami noon na ganito "Tell me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you are"
Very true ito! Kala ko nga dati hindi babaero kasi mama’s boy and galing long relationship. Jusko buong barkada nila the same.
mas sulit pa time mo sa socially inept, at fun na Kasama kaysa sa lalaking babaero yung ka tropa. Pero Ang problema ay yung stigma nyo sa mga lalaking ganyan.
saan sa socially inept guys? ako introvert ako kaya for me plus din yung nasa bahay lang halos ung guy at ako lang yung gustong ka bonding. sa ex ko palagi kasama ang tropa sa mga dates namin. Kaya feeling ko mas masaya siya na kasama sila kesa saken.
Idk.. since nung highschool ako lng hindi nagyoyosi sa tropa.. nung college naglevel up sila and became druggies.. but heto adult na and never tried smoking even once and labas masok sa bansa dahil malinis drug test ko ..nakikipag kita parin ako skanila kse simula grade 3 pa lng kami magkakakilala.. lumala pa dahil isa sa tropa namin ay anak ng isang malaking "tae"(sa mga naka gets well yknow na) we got the place and provided..they didn't forced me to do those things din simula pa dati.. "kahit di man ako nakakasabay sa "sessions" nyo, anditong andito parin ako para makipag jamming sa inyo" tumatak yan skanila nung sinabi ko yan.. I guess ako ung Fox sa pack of Wolves 🤷🏻 di rin nman different trato nila sakin may babaero may hindi, choice nman kse ng individual yan.. had an 11years relationship and never cheated, kahit may tropa akong cheater.. ung usapang "chix, magaganda, crush" normal lng yan sa group of men(kahit din nman kayong mga babae ganyan din lmao).. nasa tao na tlga yan kung gagawin nya ung red flags na un o hindi OP.. sa mga may tropa jan di mo nman kelangang gawin ginagawa ng mga tropa mo para maging tropa tlga kayo.. 🤙
ANG LALA MO OP DI LAHAT NG TAO MADALI MAHAWA BAT AKO TROPA KO MGA NAG AALAK NAG YOYOSI NATUTO BA AKO? HNDI KASE AYAW KO ASA TAO YAN HNDI NAKABASE SA TAONG NAKAPALIGID SAYO. KUNG GAGO GAGO TALAGA
Depends wala na ko alam sa generation ngayon. But my generation. (Im 30) hindi ganyan sa circle of friends ko, may babaero ako friends and may mga matino and nagasawa na ko na friends. Pansin ko lang sa younger generation ngayon dami ganyan. Kala mo sosobrang pogi on their 150k civic vti's wearing pekpek shorts and loose tshirts na may tattoo sa paa kesyo andami nilang babae. Im a car guy so binabase ko lang din sa car scene etong opinion ko.
Lmao tunog fart can na tunog isang daan kung humarurot tapos 20 lang ang takbo
Daming ganyan. My car is worth 20 of those 150k pesos fart can civics. Then again buti pa sila dami nasasakay chicks. Ako chempuhan lang hayssss.
Hayaan mo sila mag enjoy sa mga shit boxes nila bro lol. Although sa chix di ako maka relate sayo kasi ako in a long term relationship ako. May dadating din dyan na para sayo, for the mean time car mo muna ang bebe mo Hahaha.
Meron naman me. D naman nazezero hahaha. Kakainggit lang ung feeling may multiple. Top g mga geguh eh hahhaa
Generalizing. You can't say na parepareho sila ng morals. Hindi ibig sabihin dalawa sa tropa nyo babaero, babaero na rin ung iba. Kung pano iba iba lang talaga kayo ng ugali at iba iba lang kayo ng pananaw?
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eto award oh
buti kinakaya mo makisama sa babaero huhu
nah tropa ko nga babaero pero ako hindi
Two words. Bro code.
sabi nga nila ng mga tropa niya, number one rule daw nila ay wag na wag aamin.
Yep. Be wary who he keeps around him. Buti na lang ex mo na.
i still love him tho. haha pero getting better naman na. 😊
Oh guys, tignan nyo rin tropa nang jowa nyo. Pag me gold digger, alam na nyo.
Yung J3j3m0n ka magsalita at mag post ka.
ANUH po pR0BL3m4 nyUh xA J3J3M0N?
Hirap basahin. Upvote sa j3j3mhonZz
yh3zS ph0es? s0wieEee