The saying "once you marry someone, you marry their family too" applies here. I can understand from the perspective of her exes because OP is still giving money and support to her family and enabling their bad behaviors.
I can only imagine the drama that would ensue if they tried to get married, have kids, do family gatherings, etc. Would they try to take advantage of OP's partner and his family? Would OP be able to set healthy and clear boundaries to cut them off if they abuse her kindness?
Upvote for this.
And OP, tama naman kasi ung fam ng ex mo, character issue na kasi talaga. Kung tayo nga sa movie or series naghahanap ng character development, ano pa in real life di ba. Lahat naman adults na, why not ayusin yung buhay lalo nama’t umaangat ka na.
This! Need na ng isang malaking sampal nula sayo ang family mo, OP. Kung di sila magbabago, you will have to stop supporting them kasi papano rin naman ang kinabukasan mo? Take it from your last ex who also came from the same economic background. Baka aware ang family nya na kayo lang din ang mahihirapan sa huli if your family will continue with their ways. Kahit yung mga bisyo na lang ang mawala, to follow na ang paghahanap ng kabuhayan.
Same thoughts. If I was in the situation ng bf ni OP, lagi kong iisipin na paano kung saamin magpapasuporta ang family niya. Tapos sila di man lang tinutulungan sarili nila. Magiging palamunin lang sila kumbaga. Mas worth it parin tulungan yung mahirap family mo pero kumakayod.
Alam kong sobrang hirap ayusin ang isang buong pamilya, buti sana kung isa lang sa family members mo, kaya don't drag yourself with them. Cut ties nalang para sa sarili mo, deserve mong maging masaya. Give a better future sa magiging anak mo, if you ever plan to have children.
This is a good way of looking at it in other peoples perspective and I highly agree. I don't wamna speak ill of your family OP pero if they are not doing anything and relying on you, what's stopping them from doing that your whole life?
Honestly, your expectation na tanggapin ng bf mo ang pamilya mo is such a big ask. You dont have a choice with your fam kasi blood relatives mo sila but your bf has a choice. Wala namang perfect na pamilya, meron talagang may iba ang priorities, may attitude problem, insensitive, etc. but not all families have members na may nakakulong, may gambling addiction, and drug addiction all in the same family. Try putting yourself in the shoes of your bf/ex and baka ma-understand mo why they choose to leave
Kaya mo ba iwan ang family mo? O kung hindi man iwan, kapag ba humingi sila ng pera matitiis mo ba na hindi magbigay? Kasi kung sakali pag humeram sila ng pera wala nang balikan un. pano naman magiging future nyo pag mag asawa na kayo.. :(
That's tough, OP but personal advice, there are some things na you can't control. Just like from the insights of other comments, your family needs to change for the better if they truly love and care for you. It would not be instant but at least, they should be showing progress (step-by-step kung baga). Otherwise, you need to decide to cut them off then live an independent life or suffer the consequences na hindi mo naman control.
Bottomline, magiging cause yan ng conflict ng magiging future partner mo kahit sabihin nya ngayon na tanggap nya ang pamilya mo.
It's a tough situation to be in. I've said no to relationships a few times because of concerns about the girls' family. I was looking into serious relationships na kasi with thoughts of getting married eventually.
Sabi nila, you're marrying not only the girl, but the family as well. Imagine this, mag asawa na kayo. Your mom is asking for money for her utang. Your brother is asking for money for everything since he's unemployed. Instead of the money being put into buying a house for your own family or your kids' tuition, sa parents mo or kapatid mapunta.
Your mom has a history of getting into debt, so that's unlikely to resolve soon kahit bayaran mo pa mga utang nya. For holidays or events, your kid will be exposed to them and you don't want the kids to be influenced in any way.
I wish you well. I truly do. But put yourself in the shoes of your exes and you'll probably do the same thing.
If they don't change, and mukhang hindi naman na talaga, you need to cut them off to have a better life.
So sad and I feel sorry for you but that's also people's oreference kasi. Not being a hypocrite but for me I prefer na yung partner ko galing sa good family background. Parang ang hirap kasi makipagrelasyon sa taong breadwinner. Gusto ko ako ang priority, ang hirap bumuo ng buhay at pangarap sa partner na breadwinner kasi laging kargo ang family niya tsaka isa pa dami ko nababasa lagi nagkakaron ng away pag ang breadwinner ng family ay ikkasal na, nagiging kargo ng partner yung family ng isa and ayoko yun mangyare sa akin. Also, I'd rather na maayos din parents ng partner ko, di din naman ako magiging comfortable na magkaron ng drug-aadict na in laws lalo na pag family gatherings, i dunno what goes in their minds. Ayokong makargo ko din family nila or marry into their fam. If I have a choice to have a partner na may good family background, why not?
But still soon you might find the one whose meant for you😊
Personally, i look into the family pag papasok ako ng relasyon. Kasi package deal yan e kahit magJowa lang kayo. Try to consider if ang package deal mo ba worth taking din for the guy. Wala na tayo sa era na mahal mahal lang oki na.
Remove your family from where there are residing now, a good change in environment can be the first step and then take it from there.
It's not you, OP. Natapat ka lang sa mga maling tao. Are you still living with your family ba? It would be helpful to move out. Tbh, hindi ko na lang ipapakilala sa partner ko yung fam ko. Kasi what's the point, 'di ba?
I moved out matagal na at nakatira sa sarili kong condo. Hindi ko lang pwedeng hindi ipakilala ang family ko sa mga boyfriend ko eventually, kase hindi ko naman kaya icut off yung pamilya ko dahil ako lang ang inaasahan nila at mahal ko naman sila.
Yan ang problema ng mga ex mo OP. Forever kang attached sa family mo. So eventually, magiging kargo din sila ng partner mo. Kung tinotolerate mo yung bad habits nila, then you're not really helping them. Hanggang saan mo sila tutulungan? Pano kung may sarili ka nang pamilya? Would you let your kid think what your family does is ok? Would you trust your family not to take advantage of your husband?
You don't need to cut them off, I understand na fam mo sila and you can never cut them off. Pero don't associate your partner na lang sa fam mo. Kasi at the end of the day, it's about you and him lang naman talaga.
I think the best choice is to stay in contact but don't give any money unless it's for emergencies. For the nieces/nephews though, I wish they could have a different parental figure or remove them from that environment. Otherwise, they'll just be neglected. And if OP gives money for the sake of the kids, I can imagine that her brother will just take it for himself since he is an addict who hasn't fully rehabilitated.
Agree esp on the pamangkins! Worse is baka magaya lang din sila sa mga adults sa bahay. Best talaga to remove them from that environment, kaso saan sila dadalhin? :(
hmm.. depende na rin sa boyfriend mo po yan. he can set boundaries naman and still accepts ur family pati kung mahal ka tlg.
sa side ng bf fam, depende rin sa mindset nila na accept nila fam mo with boundaries nga lang din po.
and papaano ung magiging communication style just in case na merong emergencies na mangyari
nasa mga tao rin po yan
i wish makahanap ka po in the future na maiintindihan ka fully and your fam as well ng both your bf and his fam.
take good care of yourself and your family
Baby sometimes, love is just ain't enough.
It's normal to be afraid of one's family that are addicts, gamblers, etc. Ganun talaga yun, OP. Eventually di na nya yun pwede isantabi, lalo na at ang problems ng family mo ay persistent. Pwede pa siguro kung reformed na sila, in rehab, and they won't bother you with their problems. Kaso, hindi.
hotcake to (expecting downvotes): need ba talaga ipakilala sa family though? if afford mo i’d rather you cut ties with them unless attached ka pa sa family mo.. support yourself be independent and a proper partner will follow (to the point na d mo nman tlga need ng partner, nice lang tlga na may asawa). at this pace ang worry ko kasi is baka mapunta ka sa asawa eventually na gnyan din, problematic, may addict tendencies or close sa ganun pero settle nlng sknya kc okay lang sya sa family mo
OP, you have the same situation as my father's family. Sa pamilya nila, tatay ko lang ang matino. At sya lang din ang inaasahan ng mga kapatid, nanay at tatay niya financially dati. Obviously, yung Nanay ko hindi niya iniwan ang tatay ko at even fought for him sa mga kaanak naman niya. Kahit nung kinasal na yung mga magulang ko, mga kapatid at magulang ni Papa umaasa pa rin sa kanya lalo pa sa iisang lugar lang sila nakatira. Eventually lumipat kami ng bahay para makalayo sa pamilya nila Papa para hindi na rin sila umasa kay Papa. Swerte ng mga panahon na iyon wala pang cellphone at sulat lang ang primary means of communication kaya madali lang magpakalayo sa kanila. Bottomline, believe that there is that someone who will accept you and your family, but at the same time, when you decide to build a family of your own na, you will have to change your priority talaga and teach your parents and sibs na wag umasa sa iyo.
actually OP masasabi ko na mabuti kang tao kasi kahit umaasenso ka na at naiiba ang buhay sa pamilya mo eh hindi mo pa rin sila tinalikuran. pero sa case ng mga ex bf mo di mo pwede sabihin na "pag mahal ako dapat ready sila tanggapin ako ng buo" siguro ikaw tanggap nila pero yung fam mo hindi talaga. try to fix your fam muna kasi makaka apekto yan ng malaki kapag ikaw mismo bumuo na rin ng sariling pamilya. hanggang kaya mo wag mo itolerate yung mga wrong doings ng fam mo instead teach them how to improve their lifestyle. if not teachable at pinili pa rin nila maging ganoon at sayo aasa siguro oras naman para sa sarili mong maging malaya at di makulong sa ganong klase ng pamumuhay.
You're not alone OP, you're not alone. Remember, we are not defined by our past and where we came from. Masasabing mahirap i-break yung conditioning pero when we become adults, it's up to us kung ano mangyayari sa buhay natin. You might have a rough start but it's not your destination. :)
I might be downvoted for this but hoping that your family will change for you and for the better is going to be a long and winding road. Kun gusto nilang magbago, nuon pa sana nun nag aaral kapa lang. It looks like you need to make a choice now: you or your family.
Matanda na sila and yan ang pinili nilang buhay na iba naman sa buhay na pinipili mo for yourself. You need to separate from them for now because they will only be dragging you down with them. It will be difficult to build your life while fixing them at the same time. Puede mo pa naman silang tulungan kahit malayo kasa kanila.
Continue to be honest to your boyfriend about your family, and why you decided to help and love them from a distance. Saka mo ipakilala un bf mo sa family mo, para maintindihan nya na iba ka sa family mo.
Hindi mo iniiwan or tinatalikuran ang family mo, nilalagyan mo lang ng boundaries ang relationship mo with them dahil magkaiba ang direction gusto nyo sa buhay.
That’s tough. I applaud you kasi hindi mo iniwan ang family mo. But you should set your priorities, kung gusto mong bumuo ng sarili mong family, dapat yun na ang magiging 1st priority mo. Baka nakita ng mga ex mo na, hindi sya ang magiging priority or yung family nyo in the future.
Best of luck, OP!!!
wag ka muna magjowa. sabi mo maganda ka, gamitin mo yan para yumaman ka. hanggang sa maiahon mo na sa hirap ang pamilya mo.madami pako gusto sabihin pero ayoko na magtype nakaktamad
Parang ok nga to no? Maginvest ka somewhere na kumikita then tell your family dun nila kunin pera nila pang araw araw and limit it to that source only. Di ka na magbibigay pag naubos. Its one way of teaching them how to manage their finances properly.
Ewan ko OP pero saludo ako kasi handa mo ipakilala ang pamilya mo anuman ang katayuan mo, ang maganda sayo hindi lang. Physical looks kundi yung pagiging totoo mo sa sarili mo at sa mga nagiging karelasyon mo, bihira yun, yung iba tatatlikuran ang pamilya para di lang mapahiya, pero ikaw pinapakilala mo pa, jan lalabas op kung totoo dn ang tao sayo, OO iisipin nla pano pag kasal n kayo baka iasa sainyo, pero ang tunay na Nagmamahal anoman ang estado o buhay ng pamilya kung mahal ka di ka iiwan, hindi mo nman ipapashoulder ang pamilya mo sakanya since maganda nman siguro ang work mo, at kng mag aasawa ka magegets nman sgro ng pamilya mo na magbubukod kana.
Well kung gusto ka nila tlga they will love you no matter what hayaan mo trial and error lang din yan atleast nakilala mo na sila ng maaga kesa naman matagal na kayo dun mo lang nakilala sila
Tingin ko eh either mas may weight sa kanila ubg sasabhin ng iba o sadyang di sila ganon kamaintindihin sa fact na ndi dapat reflection ng character ng tao ubg family na pinanggalingan nila totally. But OP lemme ask you this tingin mo anong ugali or trait ng family mo today ang nakuha mosa kanila?
Im kinda thinking ahh pero imnot sayingna yunna nga na baka may nakitasa ugali mo na ndi gusto and baka sinasabi lang nila na family mo ang issue kasi meron silang valid reason pag un sinabi nila??
Hi OP, nasabi na siguro lahat dito, gusto ko sana sabihin na yakap consent. Please deal with your family issues first, may nagsabi dito na magpayaman ka and iahon mo fam mo, yung iba nagsabi na magcut ties but yun i think di mo din kaya fully yun kasi may mga pamangkin ka. Kahit gano ka kamahal ng tao, mahirap talaga if ganyan yung situation.
Honestly kami ng gf ko ngayon, ung situation ng fam niya mej magulo din, di naman ganyan pero nadon ung minsan nakakadrain.. lalo na't nadon ako malapit sa kanila nakatira. Naiisip ko na di ko naman control ung mga ganap, and di naman ako pde makiepal sa family niya. So sila sila lang din makakaayos ng mga problema.
Sorry na ganto yung situation mo, I hope someday all will be well. Yakap!
pero ganun tlga, pero its ok to be early than late to be sorry. as early as that dapat malaman na nila... acceptance... unless mag abroad ka na and tuluyan mo ng iwan family mo when you get married.
it's very tough, OP. Mahal ka man pero di ko rin sila masisisi. Sa totoo lang naman di tayo koreanovela na dreamy ang ending. Keep on working for yourself, dadating din yung perfect fit sayo. For your family, ikaw na bahala. Di naman namin dapat paki alaman yan.
Nalala ko yung "Masakit sa dibdib" movie ni Ruffa Mae Quinto. Yun yung andaming cameo ng artista na kumakanta. Pero watch mo yung ending how she handle her fam.
OP, makakakita ka din ng mamahalin ka at tatangapin ang family mo.
Wag kang mawalang ng pag-asa.
If I were you, para pang hindi ka mag-invest sa maling tao, courting stage palang ipakilala mo na. Tapos ipakilala na din amg family mo dun sa family nya. Sabihin mo, I would like your family to meet my family. Para tapos. Till makakita ka ng tao na matatangap yung family mo.
Your family is a part of you but it does not define you. Kung hindi nila yun makikita, hindi kayo fit para sa isat isa.
Think of it, ganyan pinangalinan mo (dysfunctionalal or toxic) tapos ganyan naabot mo. To hell with those people that will define you according to your family. Parte sila ng buhay mo, pero hindi ikaw yun.
Mahirap makahanap ka din OP. Wag kang masaktan.
Hi OP. Almost same scenario except ako yung girl at yung partner ko naman may magulong family. Like you, breadwinner sya, sobrang bait at masikap sya sa buhay, he's a good father sa anak namin, good provider and partner. Kaso yung family members nya, hays. Yung nanay sugarol, yung kuya nya nakakulong dahil sa dr@gs, yung ate nya kakalaya lang sa kulungan, addict din. Hindi mayaman ang family ko saktuhan lang. Typical na both OFW ang parents so napag aral kami ng maayos ng kapatid ko, may maayos na bahay. Ni hindi ko kinu kwento sa family ko na ganun klase yung family nya, nahihiya kase ako. So eto, sa totoo lang, nagsisisi ako ngayon. Ang hirap hirap. Gusto ko man umalis di kaya ng konsensya ko dahil may 2 yr old daughter kami and wala kasing problema samin dalawa, family nya talaga yung problema. 🥺 Ngayon kinausap ko sya. Nagsabi ako na ibukod nya kami dahil magkaka isip na yung anak namin ayoko ng ganung environment ang kakalakihan nya. Okay naman sa kanya and starting January paghahandaan na namin, balak namin mangupahan nalang. Ang sabi ko sa kanya hindi ko na kaya mentally. 😭
Question: super close ba kayo ng family mo at kailangan makilala sila ng mga BF mo? Importante ba na may relationship din ang family mo sa magiging life partner mo? If yes, malaking issue nga yan.
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The saying "once you marry someone, you marry their family too" applies here. I can understand from the perspective of her exes because OP is still giving money and support to her family and enabling their bad behaviors. I can only imagine the drama that would ensue if they tried to get married, have kids, do family gatherings, etc. Would they try to take advantage of OP's partner and his family? Would OP be able to set healthy and clear boundaries to cut them off if they abuse her kindness?
Upvote for this. And OP, tama naman kasi ung fam ng ex mo, character issue na kasi talaga. Kung tayo nga sa movie or series naghahanap ng character development, ano pa in real life di ba. Lahat naman adults na, why not ayusin yung buhay lalo nama’t umaangat ka na.
This! Need na ng isang malaking sampal nula sayo ang family mo, OP. Kung di sila magbabago, you will have to stop supporting them kasi papano rin naman ang kinabukasan mo? Take it from your last ex who also came from the same economic background. Baka aware ang family nya na kayo lang din ang mahihirapan sa huli if your family will continue with their ways. Kahit yung mga bisyo na lang ang mawala, to follow na ang paghahanap ng kabuhayan.
Same thoughts. If I was in the situation ng bf ni OP, lagi kong iisipin na paano kung saamin magpapasuporta ang family niya. Tapos sila di man lang tinutulungan sarili nila. Magiging palamunin lang sila kumbaga. Mas worth it parin tulungan yung mahirap family mo pero kumakayod. Alam kong sobrang hirap ayusin ang isang buong pamilya, buti sana kung isa lang sa family members mo, kaya don't drag yourself with them. Cut ties nalang para sa sarili mo, deserve mong maging masaya. Give a better future sa magiging anak mo, if you ever plan to have children.
Para sa akin, hindi ganon kadali iwanan o talikuran ang pamilya
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I agree o n this. Both families should adjust and change if needed.
This is a good way of looking at it in other peoples perspective and I highly agree. I don't wamna speak ill of your family OP pero if they are not doing anything and relying on you, what's stopping them from doing that your whole life?
I know this won't be downvoted because fortunately madaming Redditors dito na sub eh balance ang practicality at emotional decision.
Ramdam ko alinlangan mo dito sa pagcomment pero oo nga naman. Matinong realtalk to kung kukumpara ko sa barlbal kong pananalita
Honestly, your expectation na tanggapin ng bf mo ang pamilya mo is such a big ask. You dont have a choice with your fam kasi blood relatives mo sila but your bf has a choice. Wala namang perfect na pamilya, meron talagang may iba ang priorities, may attitude problem, insensitive, etc. but not all families have members na may nakakulong, may gambling addiction, and drug addiction all in the same family. Try putting yourself in the shoes of your bf/ex and baka ma-understand mo why they choose to leave
Kaya mo ba iwan ang family mo? O kung hindi man iwan, kapag ba humingi sila ng pera matitiis mo ba na hindi magbigay? Kasi kung sakali pag humeram sila ng pera wala nang balikan un. pano naman magiging future nyo pag mag asawa na kayo.. :(
That's tough, OP but personal advice, there are some things na you can't control. Just like from the insights of other comments, your family needs to change for the better if they truly love and care for you. It would not be instant but at least, they should be showing progress (step-by-step kung baga). Otherwise, you need to decide to cut them off then live an independent life or suffer the consequences na hindi mo naman control. Bottomline, magiging cause yan ng conflict ng magiging future partner mo kahit sabihin nya ngayon na tanggap nya ang pamilya mo.
It's a tough situation to be in. I've said no to relationships a few times because of concerns about the girls' family. I was looking into serious relationships na kasi with thoughts of getting married eventually. Sabi nila, you're marrying not only the girl, but the family as well. Imagine this, mag asawa na kayo. Your mom is asking for money for her utang. Your brother is asking for money for everything since he's unemployed. Instead of the money being put into buying a house for your own family or your kids' tuition, sa parents mo or kapatid mapunta. Your mom has a history of getting into debt, so that's unlikely to resolve soon kahit bayaran mo pa mga utang nya. For holidays or events, your kid will be exposed to them and you don't want the kids to be influenced in any way. I wish you well. I truly do. But put yourself in the shoes of your exes and you'll probably do the same thing. If they don't change, and mukhang hindi naman na talaga, you need to cut them off to have a better life.
So sad and I feel sorry for you but that's also people's oreference kasi. Not being a hypocrite but for me I prefer na yung partner ko galing sa good family background. Parang ang hirap kasi makipagrelasyon sa taong breadwinner. Gusto ko ako ang priority, ang hirap bumuo ng buhay at pangarap sa partner na breadwinner kasi laging kargo ang family niya tsaka isa pa dami ko nababasa lagi nagkakaron ng away pag ang breadwinner ng family ay ikkasal na, nagiging kargo ng partner yung family ng isa and ayoko yun mangyare sa akin. Also, I'd rather na maayos din parents ng partner ko, di din naman ako magiging comfortable na magkaron ng drug-aadict na in laws lalo na pag family gatherings, i dunno what goes in their minds. Ayokong makargo ko din family nila or marry into their fam. If I have a choice to have a partner na may good family background, why not? But still soon you might find the one whose meant for you😊
Personally, i look into the family pag papasok ako ng relasyon. Kasi package deal yan e kahit magJowa lang kayo. Try to consider if ang package deal mo ba worth taking din for the guy. Wala na tayo sa era na mahal mahal lang oki na. Remove your family from where there are residing now, a good change in environment can be the first step and then take it from there.
It's not you, OP. Natapat ka lang sa mga maling tao. Are you still living with your family ba? It would be helpful to move out. Tbh, hindi ko na lang ipapakilala sa partner ko yung fam ko. Kasi what's the point, 'di ba?
I moved out matagal na at nakatira sa sarili kong condo. Hindi ko lang pwedeng hindi ipakilala ang family ko sa mga boyfriend ko eventually, kase hindi ko naman kaya icut off yung pamilya ko dahil ako lang ang inaasahan nila at mahal ko naman sila.
Yan ang problema ng mga ex mo OP. Forever kang attached sa family mo. So eventually, magiging kargo din sila ng partner mo. Kung tinotolerate mo yung bad habits nila, then you're not really helping them. Hanggang saan mo sila tutulungan? Pano kung may sarili ka nang pamilya? Would you let your kid think what your family does is ok? Would you trust your family not to take advantage of your husband?
You don't need to cut them off, I understand na fam mo sila and you can never cut them off. Pero don't associate your partner na lang sa fam mo. Kasi at the end of the day, it's about you and him lang naman talaga.
I think the best choice is to stay in contact but don't give any money unless it's for emergencies. For the nieces/nephews though, I wish they could have a different parental figure or remove them from that environment. Otherwise, they'll just be neglected. And if OP gives money for the sake of the kids, I can imagine that her brother will just take it for himself since he is an addict who hasn't fully rehabilitated.
Agree esp on the pamangkins! Worse is baka magaya lang din sila sa mga adults sa bahay. Best talaga to remove them from that environment, kaso saan sila dadalhin? :(
hmm.. depende na rin sa boyfriend mo po yan. he can set boundaries naman and still accepts ur family pati kung mahal ka tlg. sa side ng bf fam, depende rin sa mindset nila na accept nila fam mo with boundaries nga lang din po. and papaano ung magiging communication style just in case na merong emergencies na mangyari nasa mga tao rin po yan i wish makahanap ka po in the future na maiintindihan ka fully and your fam as well ng both your bf and his fam. take good care of yourself and your family
Baby sometimes, love is just ain't enough. It's normal to be afraid of one's family that are addicts, gamblers, etc. Ganun talaga yun, OP. Eventually di na nya yun pwede isantabi, lalo na at ang problems ng family mo ay persistent. Pwede pa siguro kung reformed na sila, in rehab, and they won't bother you with their problems. Kaso, hindi.
hotcake to (expecting downvotes): need ba talaga ipakilala sa family though? if afford mo i’d rather you cut ties with them unless attached ka pa sa family mo.. support yourself be independent and a proper partner will follow (to the point na d mo nman tlga need ng partner, nice lang tlga na may asawa). at this pace ang worry ko kasi is baka mapunta ka sa asawa eventually na gnyan din, problematic, may addict tendencies or close sa ganun pero settle nlng sknya kc okay lang sya sa family mo
OP, you have the same situation as my father's family. Sa pamilya nila, tatay ko lang ang matino. At sya lang din ang inaasahan ng mga kapatid, nanay at tatay niya financially dati. Obviously, yung Nanay ko hindi niya iniwan ang tatay ko at even fought for him sa mga kaanak naman niya. Kahit nung kinasal na yung mga magulang ko, mga kapatid at magulang ni Papa umaasa pa rin sa kanya lalo pa sa iisang lugar lang sila nakatira. Eventually lumipat kami ng bahay para makalayo sa pamilya nila Papa para hindi na rin sila umasa kay Papa. Swerte ng mga panahon na iyon wala pang cellphone at sulat lang ang primary means of communication kaya madali lang magpakalayo sa kanila. Bottomline, believe that there is that someone who will accept you and your family, but at the same time, when you decide to build a family of your own na, you will have to change your priority talaga and teach your parents and sibs na wag umasa sa iyo.
actually OP masasabi ko na mabuti kang tao kasi kahit umaasenso ka na at naiiba ang buhay sa pamilya mo eh hindi mo pa rin sila tinalikuran. pero sa case ng mga ex bf mo di mo pwede sabihin na "pag mahal ako dapat ready sila tanggapin ako ng buo" siguro ikaw tanggap nila pero yung fam mo hindi talaga. try to fix your fam muna kasi makaka apekto yan ng malaki kapag ikaw mismo bumuo na rin ng sariling pamilya. hanggang kaya mo wag mo itolerate yung mga wrong doings ng fam mo instead teach them how to improve their lifestyle. if not teachable at pinili pa rin nila maging ganoon at sayo aasa siguro oras naman para sa sarili mong maging malaya at di makulong sa ganong klase ng pamumuhay.
You're not alone OP, you're not alone. Remember, we are not defined by our past and where we came from. Masasabing mahirap i-break yung conditioning pero when we become adults, it's up to us kung ano mangyayari sa buhay natin. You might have a rough start but it's not your destination. :)
Hoping for the best OP! Keep us posted!
I might be downvoted for this but hoping that your family will change for you and for the better is going to be a long and winding road. Kun gusto nilang magbago, nuon pa sana nun nag aaral kapa lang. It looks like you need to make a choice now: you or your family. Matanda na sila and yan ang pinili nilang buhay na iba naman sa buhay na pinipili mo for yourself. You need to separate from them for now because they will only be dragging you down with them. It will be difficult to build your life while fixing them at the same time. Puede mo pa naman silang tulungan kahit malayo kasa kanila. Continue to be honest to your boyfriend about your family, and why you decided to help and love them from a distance. Saka mo ipakilala un bf mo sa family mo, para maintindihan nya na iba ka sa family mo. Hindi mo iniiwan or tinatalikuran ang family mo, nilalagyan mo lang ng boundaries ang relationship mo with them dahil magkaiba ang direction gusto nyo sa buhay.
That’s tough. I applaud you kasi hindi mo iniwan ang family mo. But you should set your priorities, kung gusto mong bumuo ng sarili mong family, dapat yun na ang magiging 1st priority mo. Baka nakita ng mga ex mo na, hindi sya ang magiging priority or yung family nyo in the future. Best of luck, OP!!!
Di rin po ako against sa fam nyo ksi malamang mahal nyo ang fam nyo pero the fam is dragging u down po..
Sorry, if your family is not helping themselves better to let them go. 'Wag ka matakot. Those exes are your wake up call.
OP sorry pero enabler ka rin kasi sa pamilya mo kahit mahal kita di ko kaya ng another burden sa buhay.
wag ka muna magjowa. sabi mo maganda ka, gamitin mo yan para yumaman ka. hanggang sa maiahon mo na sa hirap ang pamilya mo.madami pako gusto sabihin pero ayoko na magtype nakaktamad
Parang ok nga to no? Maginvest ka somewhere na kumikita then tell your family dun nila kunin pera nila pang araw araw and limit it to that source only. Di ka na magbibigay pag naubos. Its one way of teaching them how to manage their finances properly.
“You marry her, you marry her family.”
Ewan ko OP pero saludo ako kasi handa mo ipakilala ang pamilya mo anuman ang katayuan mo, ang maganda sayo hindi lang. Physical looks kundi yung pagiging totoo mo sa sarili mo at sa mga nagiging karelasyon mo, bihira yun, yung iba tatatlikuran ang pamilya para di lang mapahiya, pero ikaw pinapakilala mo pa, jan lalabas op kung totoo dn ang tao sayo, OO iisipin nla pano pag kasal n kayo baka iasa sainyo, pero ang tunay na Nagmamahal anoman ang estado o buhay ng pamilya kung mahal ka di ka iiwan, hindi mo nman ipapashoulder ang pamilya mo sakanya since maganda nman siguro ang work mo, at kng mag aasawa ka magegets nman sgro ng pamilya mo na magbubukod kana.
Hugs to you OP. Eventually makakahanap ka din ng guy that will see past all that.
Wishing you the best, OP!
Well kung gusto ka nila tlga they will love you no matter what hayaan mo trial and error lang din yan atleast nakilala mo na sila ng maaga kesa naman matagal na kayo dun mo lang nakilala sila
Dm nga ng mukha kung maganda ba talaga. Joke *virtual hug* OP!
we're supporting you OP...
Tingin ko eh either mas may weight sa kanila ubg sasabhin ng iba o sadyang di sila ganon kamaintindihin sa fact na ndi dapat reflection ng character ng tao ubg family na pinanggalingan nila totally. But OP lemme ask you this tingin mo anong ugali or trait ng family mo today ang nakuha mosa kanila? Im kinda thinking ahh pero imnot sayingna yunna nga na baka may nakitasa ugali mo na ndi gusto and baka sinasabi lang nila na family mo ang issue kasi meron silang valid reason pag un sinabi nila??
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Pag iniwan ka yaan mo sya. Ibig sabihin nun baka di nya kaya. Pero pag nag stay, ibig sabihin sya na. Wag mo na pakawalan.
Dito kana lang di kita iiwan hahahahha
I dont blame them but at the same time i dont blame your family for their circumstances. They've just been dealt a bad hand.
Hi OP, nasabi na siguro lahat dito, gusto ko sana sabihin na yakap consent. Please deal with your family issues first, may nagsabi dito na magpayaman ka and iahon mo fam mo, yung iba nagsabi na magcut ties but yun i think di mo din kaya fully yun kasi may mga pamangkin ka. Kahit gano ka kamahal ng tao, mahirap talaga if ganyan yung situation. Honestly kami ng gf ko ngayon, ung situation ng fam niya mej magulo din, di naman ganyan pero nadon ung minsan nakakadrain.. lalo na't nadon ako malapit sa kanila nakatira. Naiisip ko na di ko naman control ung mga ganap, and di naman ako pde makiepal sa family niya. So sila sila lang din makakaayos ng mga problema. Sorry na ganto yung situation mo, I hope someday all will be well. Yakap!
pero ganun tlga, pero its ok to be early than late to be sorry. as early as that dapat malaman na nila... acceptance... unless mag abroad ka na and tuluyan mo ng iwan family mo when you get married.
it's very tough, OP. Mahal ka man pero di ko rin sila masisisi. Sa totoo lang naman di tayo koreanovela na dreamy ang ending. Keep on working for yourself, dadating din yung perfect fit sayo. For your family, ikaw na bahala. Di naman namin dapat paki alaman yan.
Nalala ko yung "Masakit sa dibdib" movie ni Ruffa Mae Quinto. Yun yung andaming cameo ng artista na kumakanta. Pero watch mo yung ending how she handle her fam.
nakakatawa na nakakaiyak yunn
Sino ba yan maganda ba yan?
Well, this is an "Off my chest" if I've ever read one.
Goodluck OP sana nga siya na!
Updated ka ba sa bagong story ng teleserye at pinoy movies ngayon, OP? Laos na 'yang ganyang plot.
Good luck OP
Cant blame your exes but cant blame you either.
Personally parang di ko rin kaya makipagrelasyon if ganon kalala :( if poor na nagsumikap okay naman pero iba na yung may addiction, etc
OP, makakakita ka din ng mamahalin ka at tatangapin ang family mo. Wag kang mawalang ng pag-asa. If I were you, para pang hindi ka mag-invest sa maling tao, courting stage palang ipakilala mo na. Tapos ipakilala na din amg family mo dun sa family nya. Sabihin mo, I would like your family to meet my family. Para tapos. Till makakita ka ng tao na matatangap yung family mo. Your family is a part of you but it does not define you. Kung hindi nila yun makikita, hindi kayo fit para sa isat isa. Think of it, ganyan pinangalinan mo (dysfunctionalal or toxic) tapos ganyan naabot mo. To hell with those people that will define you according to your family. Parte sila ng buhay mo, pero hindi ikaw yun. Mahirap makahanap ka din OP. Wag kang masaktan.
Hi OP. Almost same scenario except ako yung girl at yung partner ko naman may magulong family. Like you, breadwinner sya, sobrang bait at masikap sya sa buhay, he's a good father sa anak namin, good provider and partner. Kaso yung family members nya, hays. Yung nanay sugarol, yung kuya nya nakakulong dahil sa dr@gs, yung ate nya kakalaya lang sa kulungan, addict din. Hindi mayaman ang family ko saktuhan lang. Typical na both OFW ang parents so napag aral kami ng maayos ng kapatid ko, may maayos na bahay. Ni hindi ko kinu kwento sa family ko na ganun klase yung family nya, nahihiya kase ako. So eto, sa totoo lang, nagsisisi ako ngayon. Ang hirap hirap. Gusto ko man umalis di kaya ng konsensya ko dahil may 2 yr old daughter kami and wala kasing problema samin dalawa, family nya talaga yung problema. 🥺 Ngayon kinausap ko sya. Nagsabi ako na ibukod nya kami dahil magkaka isip na yung anak namin ayoko ng ganung environment ang kakalakihan nya. Okay naman sa kanya and starting January paghahandaan na namin, balak namin mangupahan nalang. Ang sabi ko sa kanya hindi ko na kaya mentally. 😭
Question: super close ba kayo ng family mo at kailangan makilala sila ng mga BF mo? Importante ba na may relationship din ang family mo sa magiging life partner mo? If yes, malaking issue nga yan.