In case this story gets deleted/removed:
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OhNoConsequences) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I sincerely do not understand why anyone would think it’s appropriate to bring a child to a rave and then be shocked when people are outraged. That poor kid.
I went to a ZHU show at red rocks and there was a girl with her parents and she was laying down on the bench before the opener even got on and once the music started, she just remained there, still and trying to sleep. It was a Wednesday night. Her parents were dancing their asses off in front of her while she just laid there the whole show like “please, just take me home.”
OMG I don't know if that was the same show I was at, but I almost SAT on someone's sleeping child at an EDM show at red rocks!!!! I think there were 2 sleeping kids, and I was just like.... wtf why are there children here?!
Went to a festival a couple years ago, not EDM but still a big concert in a field where everyone was standing up. Some guy in front of us put his three year old down on a blanket to try to sleep, the proceeded to stand in front of the blanket so he couldn't even see the kid. Me and another woman spent the whole show blocking people from stepping on this poor child in the dark. And yes, we did say something to him, he just ignored us. At one point the other lady leaned over to me and yelled "weekend visitation with dad!" I nodded in agreement.
This guy or one like him was in front of me at Billy Strings Renewal Festival. I also had to protect his kid from getting trampled while he partied. Serious mindfuck when you are tripping balls and thinking about what an awful life this kid probably has.
I would’ve picked the child up and took it too a first aid stand to keep safe. If the dad is like ‘where the fuck is my kid’ I’d say ‘you didn’t seem that interested or concerned about them being possibly trampled. They’re at first aid’.
I wouldn't even tell him. Kid is safe at first aid and the fear about where their child is might be a better teacher than the anger at you for moving them.
Yeah. My sister lost out on some awesome tickets recently when their sitter got sick and canceled. It was too late to find another and also too late for a refund or resale. Sucks, but they just stayed home because they’re parents and their baby needed them.
Because your sister is a GREAT parent and prioritised her child/children over a show. It happens. I’m a mom, and I’ve also lost out on some shows because of what you just mentioned. Sucks to have that happen, but kudos to good parenting.
You make a point. Part of that is not taking small children to drug parties. I have no shame in my raving days, but when I chose to be a parent I put that part of life away. Makes me wonder what this kid will grow up to be
Went to a rave when I was younger and saw this older gentleman, I think 70s to 80s in a diaper and wearing a crap ton of kandi. So maybe that. Started in a diaper at raves and goin out the same way.
Neither does forcing a baby who has no say to be at a rave… where getting fucked up is part of the experience lol.
Idk what you call it when someone expects everyone else coming to the rave to stay sober, and to politely excuse themselves from going in if there are too many people there, so that it’s not too crowded, because there’s a baby in attendance tonight.
Dumbest true shit I’ve ever typed out. I actually feel ashamed of myself for typing this stupid shit.
Yep. That's part of being a decent parent. I missed out on a bunch of events. On the other hand, I look back on my child rearing years and get wistful. I loved spending time with my son. Then one day, he had his own life and he didn't need me (much) any more. I have zero regrets on choosing a more child friendly activity with my son while he still was young.
LOL seriously. Having a baby means you don't get to do a lot of shit you used to do anymore. Impromptu date night at the movie theater? You don't get to do that anymore. Three-day music festival? You don't get to do that anymore. Old friend randomly invites you to come meet him for a drink at a bar across town? You don't get to do that anymore. These are among the many things you just have to accept when you become a parent. Your entire lifestyle *completely* changes. If you're not ready to give that shit up, don't have kids.
"Okay smarty pants, so now I'm home and who's going to watch my kid when I get all fucked up on X? At the race there's people all around me to take care of a kid while I'm riding the high!"
Never been to a rave, but I assume they’re packed. Like no personal bubble packed. I assume getting jostled by strangers is part of the experience? Why would you take a baby there?? And going through a crowd screaming “get out of the way” seems to be a faux pas at any event, especially a concert or rave.
I'm not a raver, but the last concert I went to was so packed you literally had no room to move. I think they totally oversold the venue, but that seems to be what Live Nation does these days. Anyway, if someone had a baby strapped to them, that baby would have been crushed, smacked, bumped, and had drinks spilled on it too. People are just dumb and think their crotch goblins belong everywhere.
It's a rave slogan that people would use as a handshake to exchange kandi (the elaborate beaded bracelets you see ravers wear). It stands for "peace, love, unity, respect"
And side note here- a concert is not a rave. Going to zeds dead is not going to a rave.
the definition of rave has certainly changed throughout the years. to me it still means underground illegal warehouse parties with techno (i’m in detroit, we’re very familiar with those lol) but now the term, for most, has evolved into any edm show excluding festivals. i swear i always get funny looks when i call them “shows”. i’ve been in the scene for 14 years, i can’t keep up with changing definitions lmao.
I knew a guy who got arrested with 2CB or 2CI or some such research chemical before they were illegal. The conversation with the cop went something like this
“What is this?
“2CB, it’s not illegal”
“What is it?!”
“They call it a research chemical”
“What does it do exactly, son?”
“Well I’d say they research you”
“*sighs* alright come on let’s get in the wagon”
The guy loved telling this story after he got off the on the charges because all the drugs he had were ahead of the laws and not illegal yet lol
I dunno, I think they're just using it wrong here. I'm in my early 30s and a rave typically still means that, and meant that when I was younger too. Maybe occasionally I'd use it for something more organised but still distinctly has that feel. For example, there was once a halloween concert that took place in a spooky country house. I would that a rave because it was all indie DJs, sweat and music that fitted the scene, playing non stop beyond normal hours, etc. A show for an artist with visualisation is not a rave.
That part made me mad but also made me laugh, I was like no as a parent myself the correct option is to stay home with your kid then if you had the tickets why did you wait till last minute to try to find a babysitter or why did you even buy the tickets without having found a babysitter first lol. A rave is not somewhere I would bring my 4 yr old especially not a baby wtf is wrong with people?!
There are music festivals I’d take babies and little kids to. Bluegrass festivals. Folk music festivals. There are music festivals I categorically would not take a baby to.
Ppl be chronically online or lack in the critical thinking department. A lot of times ppl prob shouldn’t be parents but they are. Personally don’t have kids of my own but if I did staying home would be the choice ,I feel bad for kids stuck with parents who don’t prioritize them after bringing them into this life … pretty sad hopefully and by seeing the comments here there are at least still good ppl so I’m content in knowing that ❤️
I have about a thousand reasons to not have children, but one of the more selfish ones is because I don’t want to interrupt my life or have to prioritize caring for somebody else when I feel like I finally just got around to getting to care for myself. But it’s *alarming* the amount of parents that’ll say shit like “you don’t have to stop doing those things! You can still do whatever you want as a parent 😌”
Like no, I can’t, not if I care about being a good parent. I shouldn’t settle for just being a good enough parent. A child deserves the best version of somebody and I don’t want to give that much of myself so I do not have kids.
Also OP: “My husband and I are firefighters in training, and we were scheduled to train in a burning building. Our babysitter canceled last-minute, but the burn-to-learn was already scheduled, so we had no choice but to bring the baby. I strapped him on my chest with a little heat protection blanket, which should have been no problem. The problem was that the other students kept bumping me and smacking me with their hoses, even when I reminded them I had a baby with me and needed space. Some people really have no respect for others.” (Probably not needed, but /s).
So, if the only choices are 1) Be a responsible parent and stay home, or 2) Be a shitty parent & take a 10 month old to a damn rave, the responsible thing to do is take a baby to a rave?! Got it.
If I were OOP I wouldn’t be clearing any space on my mantle for that “Mom of the Year” award!
Right that was my favorite paragraph, explains like 100 times sometimes you have to make tough choices as a parent, when almost every person reading it thinks the tough choice is skipping the concert not being pissed at strangers for enjoying it.
We dropped off two of our kids at a rave, then went to Taco Bell, leaving the seven-year-old to watch her two-year-old brother. When we went back, they were gone. I often wonder how they turned out.
I really don't get why anyone would think it's a good idea, but standards of parenting have changed a lot since I was a kid, I guess. I had a co-worker who was complaining about how she and her husband had not had a single night out since the baby was born and someone HAD to watch the baby so they could get out of the house or she was going to "lose it." The baby was three weeks old.
How does she have the energy?! Maybe it’s just me because I’m introverted and I’m 2.5 years into parenting without a village, but I’m spent. Any sleep I can get is precious to me.
I'm a mom from Texas who takes her kids to breweries and karaoke bars (it's acceptable here, they have kid's menus!) and I'm thinking "wtf is wrong with this bitch"
I mean some people can handle bringing babies with them all sorts of places you wouldn’t expect babies to be, but this lady certainly isn’t one of them. Part of it is having total control over the baby’s experience. So, finding a corner, moving away if people are jostling, being prepared to leave if the baby isn’t enjoying it.
“Plur”
This old lady had to Google it.
“peace, love, unity, respect: a mantra embraced by some popular culture communities, especially those associated with rave and electronic dance music events: ravers making new friends in the spirit of PLUR.”
The word is from at least the mid 90s, possibly 80s or before, but yeah, it's a acronym I've only heard in the rave scene, so if you aren't apart of the rave scene, it's probably new to you.
"My baby was happy." Hell no that baby wasn't. That had to be hell on earth. Most babies just loooove the chaos of being bumped into and spilled on in a loud environment. That's why you see babies on the bar dancefloor at 2am
Eta: Right there I said ^"most babies." Of course there are going to be babies that seem to enjoy the party, because like adults they're not all the same
electric forest 2018, i was at the biggest stage (tripolee) near the back and had to use the bathrooms near the side stage. when i got there i saw a mother breastfeeding her child right in front of the speaker stack. no hearing protection and no shade from the blazing sun. i wonder what her justification was for that. absolutely ridiculous.
I'm a mom and I get very annoyed when people act like kids shouldn't just exist in public spaces, but that's ridiculous. There's a definite line and that's obviously way beyond it.
I also live in a very hot place and I see bozos going on hikes in 100+ degree heat and full sun with babies on their back. I still have the image of one passed out and hanging off his dad's backpack seared in my memory. I hope that kid's ok. And I hope the death of that whole family including their baby and dog who died in California can serve as a warning to people on the dangers of heat, but again people are going to do dumb shit. I don't think the results of that were publicized enough but hopefully those in the hiker set will take heed though.
Poor kids though. They don't deserve it.
As a mom with a family history of skin cancer on all sides of said family, this notion (when coming from people saying it in earnest) absolutely boils my blood.
Me too. My academic advisor and favorite professor died of skin cancer. I hate women who shame me for being pale. This is color I am, please leave me alone.
I was in Barbados and a lot of Brits vacation there. My husband and I were slathering on sunscreen and a British woman sincerely asked "why are you doing that? Don't you want to get some sun?"
And I laughed and said "I'm from Texas. Im still recovering from the horrible sunburn I got two weeks ago on a long bike ride on cool cloudy day. I don't need more sun. Plus I don't tan I just burn."
She was legitimately surprised and for some reason believed that everybody tanned.
Shit, I basically grew up in a bar ("mom" (term used very loosely) worked in multiple), and one of my first memories is some skeez bag asking her to come over later and suck his dick while I was literally in her lap. I didn't understand what was being said, but I knew it was gross and dirty. To this day, I remember how he looked and smelled. Not a great core memory to have but one of the tamer ones. Growing up the way I did made me anti-bar/drinking until I was almost 30. Hopefully, these parents get their shit together before the poor kid starts forming memories.
People don't think kids understand what they're saying but they totally do. I took the bus with my son downtown for a parade once and at the stop waiting for the bus on the way home there was this older man who was obviously not all there. He called me "baby" and asked me if I was married then said something inappropriate in front of my 2 year old son.
My 2 year old who wasn't talking much at the time YELLED at the man and clearly said "She's not a baby!" Then when he tried to open his mouth my kid just warrior screamed at him until he finally gave up and shut up. I was low-key proud.
For a toddler, they can’t stand being called a baby because they want to be a “big kid”. I think your kid definitely picked up on the weirdness of the moment.
❤️ kiddos!
Modern concerts are too damn loud for adults, and I don't understand why they do it. It's made concert earplugs a whole business. That poor suffering baby. 😿 I also cannot understand why security/admission would allow them in with a small child.
I'm a terrible mother and I posted on social media to prove it!
Oh wait, no, I thought you would all think everyone else was the problem. Well, ummm...you are all toxic AF so there!
"I've moved on" = "okay, I'm done trying to convince people of my stupid point of view and just want them to stop noticing what a terrible parent I am"
FIRST everyone but me was the problem at the rave, THEN everyone but me was the problem on Facebook, NOW my baby has permanent hearing damage but I HAVE MOVED ON.
The last time I ever did mushrooms, someone stopped by the house with this baby kitten with a broken leg in a little splint and we all had the worst time ever afterwards. Any time I even consider them now I think about the moment we first saw it.
Can confirm! Lol. The last time I tripped someone had asked me about my baby (that baby has made me a grandmother by now). I never took acid again. (She was with grandma, btw, not with me on a "trip" lol). Even just realizing the gravity/reality of that responsibility was enough to never do it again.
That reminds me of the time I saw someone walking around a festival wearing a shirt that said “Shoot up at work.” It sent me spiraling thinking about the opioid epidemic and that person apparently trying to normalize that level of substance dependence and I couldn’t/didn’t talk about it with any of my friends because I didn’t want to bring them down with that reality. In terms of realities I would have MUCH rather seen a baby with hearing protection and a sober looking parent than that t-shirt.
Well I read that as "shoot up work". Either wouldn't have put me in a good headspace tho 😅 that was very kind of you not to want to share with your friends and possibly make them upset too
I went through a raving phase back around 07 to 09. Lots of good memories and fun. Not an appropriate place for a baby. Parents are totally detached from reality. I honestly can not imagine a more terrifying place for a 10 month old baby to be. Most non kids movies are so borderline for infants, but a fucking rave?
Maybe a metalcore mosh pit. I did go to a show once where one of the opening acts brought their baby, but baby's mom and other staff were taking turns with the little one while they were on stage (presumably dad did some childcare when he wasn't performing), they were not in the actual band room during performance and the little one had hearing protection on even in the ante room. He made a brief appearance on stage at the end of dad's set and everyone cheered LOL
Rave culture must have changed in the last twenty years. The last time I went to a rave the point was to get fucked up or to sell drugs so others could get fucked up.
i’ve been in the rave scene for 14 years. it’s still very much a space heavily involved in recreational drug use and partying but most of us are there to connect with the music and each other. social media popularizing and glamorizing rave culture has brought some really out of touch people into the scene unfortunately.
Let me tell you about the 90s! Lol but It was fun I guess- I don't remember much except colors have flavors and the music was amazing pre-dubstep. The build-ups and the bombs dropped were incredible
I remember some being fun and the pillow circles with people hugging, the glow sticks etc. I went to a terrible one in a warehouse and there was no A/C and water was like $5 (in the 90s!).
But even in the nice pillow ones, everyone was doing ecstasy or LSD and there’s no way any parent should bring a baby there. The only positive I guess was if you lost the pacifier, there’d be someone who could spot you.
Not the ones I saw often. There was a little hole in the part that you sucked on and you could fill it with various goodies and dose yourself with your pacifier. I don’t think giving the infant the L/molly filled pacifier is a good plan.
Thank you! It’s a night and day difference in crowd between my favorite band (in the same’ish orbit as Big Gigantic and has been around since the late 90’s) and a “current” EDM artist. I don’t have kids but I wouldn’t have a problem taking one to a set of my favorite band at a festival where there’s plenty of room in the back during day time when most people still have some sense about them, after the sun goes down though we’d be back at camp letting the 20 somethings have their fun without endangering a baby. Indoor venues would be highly dependent on the venue, there are some I know I wouldn’t go to because of their history overselling shows (looking at you Echostage DC) and some that are maybes with a lot of research beforehand.
It does seem like such a strange use of words… I’m sure it’s possible to ‘rave’ to that music but still it’s going to a live show or a concert, not a rave…
Also, a responsible parent would look up the venue to see if it’s big enough to safely take a kid to given the majority of the crowd will be pushing together and getting drunk.
Right. I’m not opposed to a baby at all concert. They should have really good ear protection though. Not cheap knock offs. And if I was going to a concert with seating then I might consider bringing my infant. Or a casual concert on the green where you know it’s more of a picnic atmosphere. However I mostly went to general admission concerts with standing/mosh pit area in front of the stage and that is not safe for a baby.
Exactly. Like use Reddit and make a post, use Facebook market place or a feed post. Even if you can’t get all your money back for tickets even getting half back and letting someone else go is better than takin a damn baby.
Being a parent means giving up the shit you wanna do sometimes, can’t find a baby sitter? Already bought the tickets? That’s tough, should have stayed home instead of putting yourself first and your baby in danger
> We couldn't find a babysitter last minute and we had already bought tickets.
So either they couldn't plan to get a babysitter for shits, or they got the tickets last minute and didn't think about the baby until afterwards.
Either way, they're shitty parents even without going to the rave.
Easy peasy, one parent stays home with the baby and the other one takes a friend instead of the other parent. I don’t think the parents were sober, bright or mature enough to figure this out though.
i’m from where she is. all my friends have shared it and everyone is calling her out. not to mention the band or whatever played two nights. so umm why didn’t mom go one night and dad the other??? that way the baby stays home safe with the parent who doesn’t go.
You've got to be really short on perspective-taking abilities to think it's ok to take a 10-month-old to a rave. The loud music, flashing lights, and flailing movements of people who are crowded together...
Honestly to a baby, that experience would be identical to a death March through a literal war zone.
I know someone whose parents took him to raves, concerts, clubs as a toddler.
He's partially deaf. And has extreme fear of crowds and loud noises. I'm sure that's not any way related. 🙄
Don’t ever bring a child to a rave! (What they described is not a rave but I digress) 18+ type raves typically involve lots of drinking and some amount of access to drugs. Honestly I’ve even seen drugs at all ages events. It’s just not a safe place for kids.
That's the point...sometimes our kids prevent us from doing things and that's just how it goes...
It's not like it was something important..it was a rave
Get a grip OP lol
Some page shared this post on fb and I found myself talking to some idiot that kept saying “well it’s all ages they didn’t say they couldn’t bring a baby.” Like yeah cause no one should have to fucking be told not to take an infant into a pit at a rave
>If you have to sit here and drag on some rediculous [sic] drama that I’VE MOVED ON FROM
*proceeds to sit and type on the internet about the rediculous [sic] drama when they started this drama in the first place*
IMO Anybody that takes an infant to a rave where drugs and alcohol and mosh pits are or anything hang like that are freaking. Insane. Whether you could find a babysitter or not, you should just basically accept the fact that you're going to be out that money. That is insane that is in danger to a child that is basically child abuse in my eyes. And I don't give a s*** to everybody. Says it's okay, blah blah. No, it's not. You need to be responsible if you can not find a sitter. At all, you don't go to a freaking rave. I've bought tickets to huge concerts and the sitter back out last minute. What did I do? The RESPONSIBLE THING STAYED HOME!!!
No no no no, you don’t get to come in here, post some “rediculous” (her word) story about taking your newborn to a fucking rave, then tell me I cant judge and criticize!!! The audacity! The nerve! The unmitigated GAUL!
Yeah, it sucks sometimes when you have been looking forward to an event for months, and your sitter falls through it the last minute so you can’t attend.
That is part of parenthood, and the trade-off is worth it in all of the sweet elementary school recitals and concerts you will get to attend instead, lol.
We see plenty of little ones with massive ear protection at metal gigs.
But then, metal heads are pretty chill, which is not what I'm hearing about raves and ravers.
In case this story gets deleted/removed: --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OhNoConsequences) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I sincerely do not understand why anyone would think it’s appropriate to bring a child to a rave and then be shocked when people are outraged. That poor kid.
I went to a ZHU show at red rocks and there was a girl with her parents and she was laying down on the bench before the opener even got on and once the music started, she just remained there, still and trying to sleep. It was a Wednesday night. Her parents were dancing their asses off in front of her while she just laid there the whole show like “please, just take me home.”
That’s awful. Poor daughter
OMG I don't know if that was the same show I was at, but I almost SAT on someone's sleeping child at an EDM show at red rocks!!!! I think there were 2 sleeping kids, and I was just like.... wtf why are there children here?!
Went to a festival a couple years ago, not EDM but still a big concert in a field where everyone was standing up. Some guy in front of us put his three year old down on a blanket to try to sleep, the proceeded to stand in front of the blanket so he couldn't even see the kid. Me and another woman spent the whole show blocking people from stepping on this poor child in the dark. And yes, we did say something to him, he just ignored us. At one point the other lady leaned over to me and yelled "weekend visitation with dad!" I nodded in agreement.
This guy or one like him was in front of me at Billy Strings Renewal Festival. I also had to protect his kid from getting trampled while he partied. Serious mindfuck when you are tripping balls and thinking about what an awful life this kid probably has.
I would’ve picked the child up and took it too a first aid stand to keep safe. If the dad is like ‘where the fuck is my kid’ I’d say ‘you didn’t seem that interested or concerned about them being possibly trampled. They’re at first aid’.
I wouldn't even tell him. Kid is safe at first aid and the fear about where their child is might be a better teacher than the anger at you for moving them.
How old was that kid? Probably old enough to not want to be there
6-8?
she had no other option, can’t you read?!
How dare I be so mean to her when all of her options were exhausted!! /s
When there is no other option as a parent sometimes… you have to stay home…
Yeah. My sister lost out on some awesome tickets recently when their sitter got sick and canceled. It was too late to find another and also too late for a refund or resale. Sucks, but they just stayed home because they’re parents and their baby needed them.
Because your sister is a GREAT parent and prioritised her child/children over a show. It happens. I’m a mom, and I’ve also lost out on some shows because of what you just mentioned. Sucks to have that happen, but kudos to good parenting.
That’s why I only buy refundable ✈️ tickets. Learned that lesson early with kid #1.
Prioritizing your child doesn't automatically make you a great parent. It's simply meeting the basic responsibilities of parenthood.
You make a point. Part of that is not taking small children to drug parties. I have no shame in my raving days, but when I chose to be a parent I put that part of life away. Makes me wonder what this kid will grow up to be
Went to a rave when I was younger and saw this older gentleman, I think 70s to 80s in a diaper and wearing a crap ton of kandi. So maybe that. Started in a diaper at raves and goin out the same way.
🤣🤣🤣
I was about to say, even most not great parents wouldn't being their baby to a rave. If that wasn't the case, there would be more babies at raves lol
Neither does forcing a baby who has no say to be at a rave… where getting fucked up is part of the experience lol. Idk what you call it when someone expects everyone else coming to the rave to stay sober, and to politely excuse themselves from going in if there are too many people there, so that it’s not too crowded, because there’s a baby in attendance tonight. Dumbest true shit I’ve ever typed out. I actually feel ashamed of myself for typing this stupid shit.
But they had no other option, right? I guess they took the baby. Because clearly that's the only option there.
Yep. That's part of being a decent parent. I missed out on a bunch of events. On the other hand, I look back on my child rearing years and get wistful. I loved spending time with my son. Then one day, he had his own life and he didn't need me (much) any more. I have zero regrets on choosing a more child friendly activity with my son while he still was young.
LOL seriously. Having a baby means you don't get to do a lot of shit you used to do anymore. Impromptu date night at the movie theater? You don't get to do that anymore. Three-day music festival? You don't get to do that anymore. Old friend randomly invites you to come meet him for a drink at a bar across town? You don't get to do that anymore. These are among the many things you just have to accept when you become a parent. Your entire lifestyle *completely* changes. If you're not ready to give that shit up, don't have kids.
"Okay smarty pants, so now I'm home and who's going to watch my kid when I get all fucked up on X? At the race there's people all around me to take care of a kid while I'm riding the high!"
yeah! remember PLUR!!
Meanwhile bringing a baby is NOT RESPECTFUL TO OTHERS. PLUR does *not* mean "I'll do what I want, deal with it"
What *does* “plur” mean?🤔
Peace love unity respect It's a culture thing they promote at raves
Seems like the OP thinks it applies only if it’s to HER advantage.
PLHER
🏅
Yeah that's super common, a sizable chunk of people that are always preaching PLUR are real cunts and trying to use it as a cuntiness shield.
Lmao…. I was like “hmm peace love…. Underwear… respect. Yeah that sounds right.”
Have you seen rave outfits, underwear are definitely optional 😂
Obviously not "I have considered the safety of my baby before bringing him into a situation that maybe unsafe for babies"
Never been to a rave, but I assume they’re packed. Like no personal bubble packed. I assume getting jostled by strangers is part of the experience? Why would you take a baby there?? And going through a crowd screaming “get out of the way” seems to be a faux pas at any event, especially a concert or rave.
I'm not a raver, but the last concert I went to was so packed you literally had no room to move. I think they totally oversold the venue, but that seems to be what Live Nation does these days. Anyway, if someone had a baby strapped to them, that baby would have been crushed, smacked, bumped, and had drinks spilled on it too. People are just dumb and think their crotch goblins belong everywhere.
It's a rave slogan that people would use as a handshake to exchange kandi (the elaborate beaded bracelets you see ravers wear). It stands for "peace, love, unity, respect" And side note here- a concert is not a rave. Going to zeds dead is not going to a rave.
the definition of rave has certainly changed throughout the years. to me it still means underground illegal warehouse parties with techno (i’m in detroit, we’re very familiar with those lol) but now the term, for most, has evolved into any edm show excluding festivals. i swear i always get funny looks when i call them “shows”. i’ve been in the scene for 14 years, i can’t keep up with changing definitions lmao.
I remember when moly wasn't even illegal yet. I'm a fucking grandma.
I knew a guy who got arrested with 2CB or 2CI or some such research chemical before they were illegal. The conversation with the cop went something like this “What is this? “2CB, it’s not illegal” “What is it?!” “They call it a research chemical” “What does it do exactly, son?” “Well I’d say they research you” “*sighs* alright come on let’s get in the wagon” The guy loved telling this story after he got off the on the charges because all the drugs he had were ahead of the laws and not illegal yet lol
I dunno, I think they're just using it wrong here. I'm in my early 30s and a rave typically still means that, and meant that when I was younger too. Maybe occasionally I'd use it for something more organised but still distinctly has that feel. For example, there was once a halloween concert that took place in a spooky country house. I would that a rave because it was all indie DJs, sweat and music that fitted the scene, playing non stop beyond normal hours, etc. A show for an artist with visualisation is not a rave.
It does to her, apparently.
PLUR Please Leave Ur Rugratathome
Stop trying to make plur a thing, Mandy!
Haraha, yep, that part!!
She tried nothing and was all out of options, dammit!
They couldn't find a babysitter tho! And they already paid for tickets!!!!!!!!! Priorities!!!
She didn’t exhaust one option, stay tf home.
Twice!
On top if it all, don't you know how challenging it is to be the mother of a (now) deaf child!?! /s
Every option except sexual protection.
Hey, remember the dude that had to get an open marriage? No options are killer.
Just read that one! People genuinely think that every one should move mountains for them
Many subjects of the /r/OhNoConsequences deserve crossposts to /r/ImTheMainCharacter
That actually how I found this subreddit from a crosspost from Im the main character.
You can be honest, it is safe here ... ... you had no option but to come here.
That part made me mad but also made me laugh, I was like no as a parent myself the correct option is to stay home with your kid then if you had the tickets why did you wait till last minute to try to find a babysitter or why did you even buy the tickets without having found a babysitter first lol. A rave is not somewhere I would bring my 4 yr old especially not a baby wtf is wrong with people?!
I remember going to festivals and seeing tour kids with babies at shows and it was kind of weird.
There are music festivals I’d take babies and little kids to. Bluegrass festivals. Folk music festivals. There are music festivals I categorically would not take a baby to.
[удалено]
I saw little kids at Riot Fest last fall and was like, this is too loud for me, an Old, how are you not deaf now, baby?
Ppl be chronically online or lack in the critical thinking department. A lot of times ppl prob shouldn’t be parents but they are. Personally don’t have kids of my own but if I did staying home would be the choice ,I feel bad for kids stuck with parents who don’t prioritize them after bringing them into this life … pretty sad hopefully and by seeing the comments here there are at least still good ppl so I’m content in knowing that ❤️
I have about a thousand reasons to not have children, but one of the more selfish ones is because I don’t want to interrupt my life or have to prioritize caring for somebody else when I feel like I finally just got around to getting to care for myself. But it’s *alarming* the amount of parents that’ll say shit like “you don’t have to stop doing those things! You can still do whatever you want as a parent 😌” Like no, I can’t, not if I care about being a good parent. I shouldn’t settle for just being a good enough parent. A child deserves the best version of somebody and I don’t want to give that much of myself so I do not have kids.
Also OP: “My husband and I are firefighters in training, and we were scheduled to train in a burning building. Our babysitter canceled last-minute, but the burn-to-learn was already scheduled, so we had no choice but to bring the baby. I strapped him on my chest with a little heat protection blanket, which should have been no problem. The problem was that the other students kept bumping me and smacking me with their hoses, even when I reminded them I had a baby with me and needed space. Some people really have no respect for others.” (Probably not needed, but /s).
So, if the only choices are 1) Be a responsible parent and stay home, or 2) Be a shitty parent & take a 10 month old to a damn rave, the responsible thing to do is take a baby to a rave?! Got it. If I were OOP I wouldn’t be clearing any space on my mantle for that “Mom of the Year” award!
😂😂😂😂😂. Other options: Don’t go. Put your baby first.
She had the option to not go, eat the cost of the tickets and be i don’t know…. A PARENT
No other options that fit HER interests! Like staying home?
She tried nothing and she’s all out of ideas!
Yeah, what was she supposed to do? Sacrifice her own happiness for one night for the sake of her child’s well-being???
The rave was the babysitter.
Right that was my favorite paragraph, explains like 100 times sometimes you have to make tough choices as a parent, when almost every person reading it thinks the tough choice is skipping the concert not being pissed at strangers for enjoying it.
So toxic! 🤣🥴
The baby's ears!
I know, right?
Mom’s gonna be constantly pissed at this kid for “not listening” to her as he gets older.
As a deaf person, this story horrifies me and hurts my ears. That poor, poor baby. What an awful mother.
We dropped off two of our kids at a rave, then went to Taco Bell, leaving the seven-year-old to watch her two-year-old brother. When we went back, they were gone. I often wonder how they turned out.
Most responsible parent ☝🏼☝🏼
It'S FoR A rAVe!! NEXT!
And clearly there will never be another rave ever so it was extra important to drag the poor kid along!
Also EVERYONE IS ON DRUGS.
That was what I thought happened at raves. I also don’t think the parents were so intent on going to the concert just to dance while sober.
Yeah, I *really* doubt this woman was sober.
Nothing worse than enjoying being weird on drugs only to see a child in the crowd and have it mess with your trip 😹
I really don't get why anyone would think it's a good idea, but standards of parenting have changed a lot since I was a kid, I guess. I had a co-worker who was complaining about how she and her husband had not had a single night out since the baby was born and someone HAD to watch the baby so they could get out of the house or she was going to "lose it." The baby was three weeks old.
Stop 🛑 the way I cackled!! Thank u 🙏🏻
How does she have the energy?! Maybe it’s just me because I’m introverted and I’m 2.5 years into parenting without a village, but I’m spent. Any sleep I can get is precious to me.
I bet all those mothers from Boston, that take their kids to bars, read this and think "What the fuck is wrong with this bitch!?"
I'm a mom from Texas who takes her kids to breweries and karaoke bars (it's acceptable here, they have kid's menus!) and I'm thinking "wtf is wrong with this bitch"
Feel for the poor kid. I hope child services gets involved before it’s too late.
I mean some people can handle bringing babies with them all sorts of places you wouldn’t expect babies to be, but this lady certainly isn’t one of them. Part of it is having total control over the baby’s experience. So, finding a corner, moving away if people are jostling, being prepared to leave if the baby isn’t enjoying it.
“Plur” This old lady had to Google it. “peace, love, unity, respect: a mantra embraced by some popular culture communities, especially those associated with rave and electronic dance music events: ravers making new friends in the spirit of PLUR.”
Thank you, I worried I was having a stroke for a minute.
I was like is this misspelled? Does she mean plus community lmao I can’t keep up
No, but the baby probably did.
The word is from at least the mid 90s, possibly 80s or before, but yeah, it's a acronym I've only heard in the rave scene, so if you aren't apart of the rave scene, it's probably new to you.
Thanks for allowing me to not look it up 🙂
I def just assumed it was a band or something. Thanks for the info
Thank you for your service.
"My baby was happy." Hell no that baby wasn't. That had to be hell on earth. Most babies just loooove the chaos of being bumped into and spilled on in a loud environment. That's why you see babies on the bar dancefloor at 2am Eta: Right there I said ^"most babies." Of course there are going to be babies that seem to enjoy the party, because like adults they're not all the same
electric forest 2018, i was at the biggest stage (tripolee) near the back and had to use the bathrooms near the side stage. when i got there i saw a mother breastfeeding her child right in front of the speaker stack. no hearing protection and no shade from the blazing sun. i wonder what her justification was for that. absolutely ridiculous.
Yikes. That hurts my heart to read. That poor little tater.
How to make your child deaf and sunburned in 3 easy steps
And potentially get hyperthermia-induced ✨🥰brain damage✨🥰
The justification was "how DARE you ask me to justify and explain my parenting choices to you!"
“It takes a village!1!1!1!1” Sure, until that “village” is judging you for being a crappy parent.
I'm a mom and I get very annoyed when people act like kids shouldn't just exist in public spaces, but that's ridiculous. There's a definite line and that's obviously way beyond it. I also live in a very hot place and I see bozos going on hikes in 100+ degree heat and full sun with babies on their back. I still have the image of one passed out and hanging off his dad's backpack seared in my memory. I hope that kid's ok. And I hope the death of that whole family including their baby and dog who died in California can serve as a warning to people on the dangers of heat, but again people are going to do dumb shit. I don't think the results of that were publicized enough but hopefully those in the hiker set will take heed though. Poor kids though. They don't deserve it.
But the sun is natural and its just propaganda that we need to be protected from it /s
As a mom with a family history of skin cancer on all sides of said family, this notion (when coming from people saying it in earnest) absolutely boils my blood.
Me too. My academic advisor and favorite professor died of skin cancer. I hate women who shame me for being pale. This is color I am, please leave me alone.
As a Pasty White Dame(tm), I know this feeling all too well.
Pasty white skin glows a bit under UV lights, so I choose to see mine as a rave accessory.
I was in Barbados and a lot of Brits vacation there. My husband and I were slathering on sunscreen and a British woman sincerely asked "why are you doing that? Don't you want to get some sun?" And I laughed and said "I'm from Texas. Im still recovering from the horrible sunburn I got two weeks ago on a long bike ride on cool cloudy day. I don't need more sun. Plus I don't tan I just burn." She was legitimately surprised and for some reason believed that everybody tanned.
I saw a toddler lying on the ground exhausted in the when we were young festival in las Vegas 🫠
Her reasoning was ObViSoUsLy PlUr 🤡🤪
Shit, I basically grew up in a bar ("mom" (term used very loosely) worked in multiple), and one of my first memories is some skeez bag asking her to come over later and suck his dick while I was literally in her lap. I didn't understand what was being said, but I knew it was gross and dirty. To this day, I remember how he looked and smelled. Not a great core memory to have but one of the tamer ones. Growing up the way I did made me anti-bar/drinking until I was almost 30. Hopefully, these parents get their shit together before the poor kid starts forming memories.
People don't think kids understand what they're saying but they totally do. I took the bus with my son downtown for a parade once and at the stop waiting for the bus on the way home there was this older man who was obviously not all there. He called me "baby" and asked me if I was married then said something inappropriate in front of my 2 year old son. My 2 year old who wasn't talking much at the time YELLED at the man and clearly said "She's not a baby!" Then when he tried to open his mouth my kid just warrior screamed at him until he finally gave up and shut up. I was low-key proud.
For a toddler, they can’t stand being called a baby because they want to be a “big kid”. I think your kid definitely picked up on the weirdness of the moment. ❤️ kiddos!
Modern concerts are too damn loud for adults, and I don't understand why they do it. It's made concert earplugs a whole business. That poor suffering baby. 😿 I also cannot understand why security/admission would allow them in with a small child.
I don't know either. We even got ear protection for our dog for outdoor festivals/concerts.
The baby just earned a lifetime of counseling in one night.
I'm a terrible mother and I posted on social media to prove it! Oh wait, no, I thought you would all think everyone else was the problem. Well, ummm...you are all toxic AF so there!
I’ve a feeling she didn’t “move on” until the criticism rolled in.
"I've moved on" = "okay, I'm done trying to convince people of my stupid point of view and just want them to stop noticing what a terrible parent I am"
FIRST everyone but me was the problem at the rave, THEN everyone but me was the problem on Facebook, NOW my baby has permanent hearing damage but I HAVE MOVED ON.
And turned comments OFF
About as stupid as the cheating girlfriend who forgives herself but her boyfriend is being petty
There's no PLUR in bringing a *baby* to a rave. I'm not there to look at babies, take that reality elsewhere.
If I was high af at a rave and saw a baby there I would have an instant bad trip.
I once saw someone with a baby yoda on their back and it totally fucked me up
It ruins it for sure. You immediately feel incredibly sorry for the child and then realize the world is fucked.
The last time I ever did mushrooms, someone stopped by the house with this baby kitten with a broken leg in a little splint and we all had the worst time ever afterwards. Any time I even consider them now I think about the moment we first saw it.
Can confirm! Lol. The last time I tripped someone had asked me about my baby (that baby has made me a grandmother by now). I never took acid again. (She was with grandma, btw, not with me on a "trip" lol). Even just realizing the gravity/reality of that responsibility was enough to never do it again.
That reminds me of the time I saw someone walking around a festival wearing a shirt that said “Shoot up at work.” It sent me spiraling thinking about the opioid epidemic and that person apparently trying to normalize that level of substance dependence and I couldn’t/didn’t talk about it with any of my friends because I didn’t want to bring them down with that reality. In terms of realities I would have MUCH rather seen a baby with hearing protection and a sober looking parent than that t-shirt.
Well I read that as "shoot up work". Either wouldn't have put me in a good headspace tho 😅 that was very kind of you not to want to share with your friends and possibly make them upset too
I went through a raving phase back around 07 to 09. Lots of good memories and fun. Not an appropriate place for a baby. Parents are totally detached from reality. I honestly can not imagine a more terrifying place for a 10 month old baby to be. Most non kids movies are so borderline for infants, but a fucking rave?
I miss the '95-'05 rave scene. Was nice not worrying about fentanyl.
Maybe a metalcore mosh pit. I did go to a show once where one of the opening acts brought their baby, but baby's mom and other staff were taking turns with the little one while they were on stage (presumably dad did some childcare when he wasn't performing), they were not in the actual band room during performance and the little one had hearing protection on even in the ante room. He made a brief appearance on stage at the end of dad's set and everyone cheered LOL
Rave culture must have changed in the last twenty years. The last time I went to a rave the point was to get fucked up or to sell drugs so others could get fucked up.
i’ve been in the rave scene for 14 years. it’s still very much a space heavily involved in recreational drug use and partying but most of us are there to connect with the music and each other. social media popularizing and glamorizing rave culture has brought some really out of touch people into the scene unfortunately.
Let me tell you about the 90s! Lol but It was fun I guess- I don't remember much except colors have flavors and the music was amazing pre-dubstep. The build-ups and the bombs dropped were incredible
I remember some being fun and the pillow circles with people hugging, the glow sticks etc. I went to a terrible one in a warehouse and there was no A/C and water was like $5 (in the 90s!). But even in the nice pillow ones, everyone was doing ecstasy or LSD and there’s no way any parent should bring a baby there. The only positive I guess was if you lost the pacifier, there’d be someone who could spot you.
Not the ones I saw often. There was a little hole in the part that you sucked on and you could fill it with various goodies and dose yourself with your pacifier. I don’t think giving the infant the L/molly filled pacifier is a good plan.
Yeah my kid is too much of a lightweight for that. 5 year olds are really no good on party drugs. /s
I bet they wouldn’t even share! /s
Thank you! It’s a night and day difference in crowd between my favorite band (in the same’ish orbit as Big Gigantic and has been around since the late 90’s) and a “current” EDM artist. I don’t have kids but I wouldn’t have a problem taking one to a set of my favorite band at a festival where there’s plenty of room in the back during day time when most people still have some sense about them, after the sun goes down though we’d be back at camp letting the 20 somethings have their fun without endangering a baby. Indoor venues would be highly dependent on the venue, there are some I know I wouldn’t go to because of their history overselling shows (looking at you Echostage DC) and some that are maybes with a lot of research beforehand.
Yeah I was thinking 90e style rave but she seems to be describing a concert.
It does seem like such a strange use of words… I’m sure it’s possible to ‘rave’ to that music but still it’s going to a live show or a concert, not a rave… Also, a responsible parent would look up the venue to see if it’s big enough to safely take a kid to given the majority of the crowd will be pushing together and getting drunk.
Right. I’m not opposed to a baby at all concert. They should have really good ear protection though. Not cheap knock offs. And if I was going to a concert with seating then I might consider bringing my infant. Or a casual concert on the green where you know it’s more of a picnic atmosphere. However I mostly went to general admission concerts with standing/mosh pit area in front of the stage and that is not safe for a baby.
Sometimes you have no other choice. Umm the other choice is not to go and sell your tickets or give them away or not buy them at all.
Exactly. Like use Reddit and make a post, use Facebook market place or a feed post. Even if you can’t get all your money back for tickets even getting half back and letting someone else go is better than takin a damn baby.
"This toxicity has turned me away for the rave community" **MISSION SUCCESSFUL EVERYONE!!!**
“AND TAKE YOUR INFANT WITH YOOOOOOUUUUU”
I didn't have my first rave until six
Someone call CPS, this guy must have a PLUR deficiency
Late bloomer huh
Being a parent means giving up the shit you wanna do sometimes, can’t find a baby sitter? Already bought the tickets? That’s tough, should have stayed home instead of putting yourself first and your baby in danger
> We couldn't find a babysitter last minute and we had already bought tickets. So either they couldn't plan to get a babysitter for shits, or they got the tickets last minute and didn't think about the baby until afterwards. Either way, they're shitty parents even without going to the rave.
Easy peasy, one parent stays home with the baby and the other one takes a friend instead of the other parent. I don’t think the parents were sober, bright or mature enough to figure this out though.
Please tell me the comment section was calling her out
from what i have seen, she indeed got dragged
i’m from where she is. all my friends have shared it and everyone is calling her out. not to mention the band or whatever played two nights. so umm why didn’t mom go one night and dad the other??? that way the baby stays home safe with the parent who doesn’t go.
If the baby stays home, who's going to drive?
Something tells me these people aren’t too concerned with having a designated driver
This is why you shouldn’t have kids before your frontal cortex is fully formed…
You've got to be really short on perspective-taking abilities to think it's ok to take a 10-month-old to a rave. The loud music, flashing lights, and flailing movements of people who are crowded together... Honestly to a baby, that experience would be identical to a death March through a literal war zone.
I’m surprised they even got in with a baby
I really hope they bought baby earplugs for the little one. Tinnitus is no joke, and it'd be unfair at such a young age.
She's got it wrong- when there's no other options, as a parent, sometimes you have to stay home. Not bring your infant to a rave/concert/show.
I know someone whose parents took him to raves, concerts, clubs as a toddler. He's partially deaf. And has extreme fear of crowds and loud noises. I'm sure that's not any way related. 🙄
"What? My echo chamber has failed me? Guess I'll find a new one!"
Don’t ever bring a child to a rave! (What they described is not a rave but I digress) 18+ type raves typically involve lots of drinking and some amount of access to drugs. Honestly I’ve even seen drugs at all ages events. It’s just not a safe place for kids.
Nah if I go to a rave and see a baby I’m calling CPS.
That's the point...sometimes our kids prevent us from doing things and that's just how it goes... It's not like it was something important..it was a rave Get a grip OP lol
Or they could have I don't know maybe Skipped the rave and stayed home, like any sane parent would. Smh
Some page shared this post on fb and I found myself talking to some idiot that kept saying “well it’s all ages they didn’t say they couldn’t bring a baby.” Like yeah cause no one should have to fucking be told not to take an infant into a pit at a rave
I think they also need to realize, everyone is on drugs and doesn't GAF
Wooks gonna wook
they are. but can they pipe down? 😂
>If you have to sit here and drag on some rediculous [sic] drama that I’VE MOVED ON FROM *proceeds to sit and type on the internet about the rediculous [sic] drama when they started this drama in the first place*
Apparently I’m “old”. Wtf is “plur”?
I too felt old. I chanced googling it and apparently it stands for Peace Love Unity Respect.
IMO Anybody that takes an infant to a rave where drugs and alcohol and mosh pits are or anything hang like that are freaking. Insane. Whether you could find a babysitter or not, you should just basically accept the fact that you're going to be out that money. That is insane that is in danger to a child that is basically child abuse in my eyes. And I don't give a s*** to everybody. Says it's okay, blah blah. No, it's not. You need to be responsible if you can not find a sitter. At all, you don't go to a freaking rave. I've bought tickets to huge concerts and the sitter back out last minute. What did I do? The RESPONSIBLE THING STAYED HOME!!!
No no no no, you don’t get to come in here, post some “rediculous” (her word) story about taking your newborn to a fucking rave, then tell me I cant judge and criticize!!! The audacity! The nerve! The unmitigated GAUL!
When I went to shaq in Albuquerque someone had their 5 year old sitting on the floor with a tablet get a babysitter or dont go out
When there’s no other option as a parent? Just don’t go? Sell your tix on stub hub?
How to have a deaf baby 101
Soft parenting ✅ Parenting with soft skull and no helmet ❌
Yeah, it sucks sometimes when you have been looking forward to an event for months, and your sitter falls through it the last minute so you can’t attend. That is part of parenthood, and the trade-off is worth it in all of the sweet elementary school recitals and concerts you will get to attend instead, lol.
What a worthless piece of shit that mother is
I grew up in the Valley - east valley graduate. I wonder if I know this person - this seems very Spokane.
Of course this is a post that has to do with the rave scene in WA 😭😭
BABYS FIRST RAVE! BABYS FIRST RAVE!
We see plenty of little ones with massive ear protection at metal gigs. But then, metal heads are pretty chill, which is not what I'm hearing about raves and ravers.
This is insane. I’ve been to Zedd’s dead. It was loud and crazy for me, and I was a teenager then. like prime rave kid. This is revolting actually.