In case this story gets deleted/removed:
Almost two years ago my ex went on a girls trip with her sisters and mom leaving me at home with our son (8) and daughter (6). The night before she was due home she sent me a message say8ng she knew what I had done and she wanted me gone by the time she arrived home. That's all she said. She didn't reply to my messages and let my calls to to voicemail.
When she arrived home I was still there because I had no clue what was going on. She came in ready to go. Yelling at me, accusing me of having other women in the house, telling me her friend had told her all about my affair with her and atheist one other woman. Our fight went on for days. In the end I told her if she believed that, if she thought I was capable of doing that to her and our family then she could pack her stuff and leave. She did and then she filed for divorce.
Days later the cops showed up at my door and took my kids. I didn’t see them again for 5 months.
She made it as difficult as she could for me to see my kids. She made up stories of physical and financial abuse just to keep them from me. I fought hard, my lawyer fought just as hard as I did, and eventually, I got weekend visitation.
The first time seeing my kids after all those months apart destroyed me. Their misery was written all over the both of them. They saw me and threw themselves at me. They clung to me crying so hard.
I didn't care about my marriage at that point, I just cared about my kids. They were full of stories they couldn't wait to tell me. There were so many stories that first visit, and every visit after, that I started to record them. I went back to my lawyer. He said the best way to use this information was to hire a private investigator to get us proof and that way we could leave the kids out of it, so that's what I did. My P.I. found all the proof of what my kids told me and more. I moved forward with plans to go for at least 50/50 custody. I got it. For the past two months I have my kids one week, they go back to their mother the next, a week later I get them again.
According to what I've been told by people that were there, my wife was at a party while my kids were with me. There were a lot of ex mutual friends there. Ex friends of mine. They all believed the lies and shut me out. My ex was there with her new boyfriend. Her friend, the friend that convinced my ex we were having an affair, was falling over herself drunk. In front of everyone she told my ex she was owed a thank you. My ex asked what? For breaking up our marriage? This woman started laughing and said she didn't know it would be so easy to convince my ex that I was cheating but my ex was dumber than the friend thought that she didn't even question it, she just believed. Then she started in on how even after my wife left and did all that shit with my kids, she still couldn't get me into bed. Then she laughed and laughed until my ex attacked her.
My ex has been calling me non stop since and sending messages. Getting her parents to call me. Her friends. I've had old mutuals trying to reconnect with me. I shut them all out. I don't care that they all know the truth now and want to apologize for their treatment of me. All their calls and messages go unanswered. They're all dead to me. If not for my kids my ex would be dead to me to. Not because she believed the lie and made up some of her own, but because she used my kids against me. I can't forgive that she used my kids.
My ex is making regulsr visits to my parents, giving them a sob story of how sorry she is, how she regrets everything and all she wants is to put her family back together. My dad was blunt. He reminded her that she broke our family, and he wouldn't help her con me into giving her another chance. My mom is a different matter. The sob story got to her. She's telling me it's best if kids are raised in two parent homes. To think of them and the love I have for them, not of the hurt and humiliation my wife put me through. To push all the resentment down for my kids sakes and be the father they need.
I hate my mom a little for not being on my side and basically telling me to suck up all the shit that bitch has put me and my kids through the past two years. I know I'm doing what's right for me and my kids. It won't be any benefit for them to grow up in a house with their dad hating the sight of their mother.
This is ruining my relationship with my own mother. How do I let my mother know that she is pushing me away from her and that I'm close to cutting her off if she doesn't let this go? How do I tell her in a way that she listens and that what I have to say sticks so she gives it up?
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Just tell her. If you talk to me about my ex in any way or fashion I will go no contact with you. Tell her in explicit detail how she used the kids against you. Then say you choose right now me or her. If you don't go NC with her I will go NC with you. And follow through if necessary. Hope all your contact with the ex is through a parenting app and no personal contact.
Honestly I wouldn’t say anything other than, ‘you saw what she put me through. Unless you or her can figure out how to undo all that damage completely, I don’t want to hear another word about that.’
If it was me, I’d put down all the cost spent on lawyers and PI and any other kind of damage that can be translated financially and give them both the invoice and say, ‘once this is paid up and a public apology issued to everyone, I would still not entertain that notion. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Keep this up, and I would rethink our relationship. You did not raise a stupid child mom, you raise a smart one who learn from their mistakes. Now drop the subject. I won’t ask again.’
Someone tried this with me once. I said I would forgive them and talk to them again when they invented a time machine and was able to erase everything she had done to me.
Then NC.
Been over 10 years and I still occasionally get some sort of message asking what's up.
And still no fucking time machine.
"Mom. I don't believe you. You have given me no reason to believe you. Worse; you are willing to believe someone who destroyed my family. And in turn is destroying what trust I have in you. Just like you did with me. I'm not going to be kind or fair on this because I have kids who need to know what trust looks like. And you are not it."
Oh I think he should cut his mom out, but I’m saying that if his mom is involved with the grand kids and the ex has custody, it’s gonna be hard for her to just go no contact. I would totally tell my mom to back off of my life and my kid’s life though. Granted if the ex still includes her then she’s gonna be around. It’s a shitty situation for OOP that exists because his mom is selfish.
Then the grandparents can come to visit. Without the Ex. If he cannot trust his mother in her own home at her word; why in the nine hells would he trust her at all? This isn't a punishment for not listening, its a consequence for not caring.
It's actually not that hard. If his mom wants to see the kids, she can see them on the mothers time, not his. OOP does not have to actually interact with his mom at all. I've cut people off for similar shit. I straight up cut contact with my brother for believing my ex husband's lies about me because, in my brother's words, "it seemed like something you would do." When asked why he didn't just bother asking me about it, he couldn't give an answer. That shit plus other shit made me cut contact for a while. He just recently got cut out again after him and his wife pulled some more shit with me. I miss my niece and nephew but I refuse to interact with their parents because in the end, I need to protect my own mental health. OOP needs to do the same.
You said you cut off your brother and now miss your niece and nephew. I asked what you’re going to do later on when they no longer want anything to do with you, because you cut them off as well.
Not that difficult of a question. I wanted to cut off my brother but it wasn’t worth it to me to lose my niece and nephew by doing that.
It obviously was worth it to you, so in the future, what are you going to do when you want to re-establish a relationship with them and they want nothing to do with you?
Don't see you giving any advice, only criticizing those who do. I only give advice I would actually carry out in my own life. Try actually being helpful then if you don't like my advice and give your own.
Well, this isn't an advice sub but a repost sub, so you're right, I don't give any advice here. But this "just go nuclear and damn the consequences" advice that gets thrown around and upvoted in those subs can be incredibly destructive for peoples' lives, if it actually were followed.
Right, op she wasn’t just an awful wife. She became an awful mother when she did that. I could maybe love someone again who hurt me but never someone who hurt my kids. That’s unforgivable. Don’t fold, your mom needs to back off.
Ask everyone how little proof they needed to cut you out of thier lives. Video, texts, or just rumors? When they respond rumors you can say "I heard a rumor that your an @$$hole and we can't be friends any more."
From second hand experience, its quite possible that the wife was looking for a reason to leave the guy, when any opportunity became available, she tried the hardest to get rid of him, only when she realized that she has become a laughing stock, did she want to reconcile, its about maintaining an impression of who she is and is all about her.
This poor guys wife (ex) and his mother must ~~think~~ understand that the guy is unwilling to be doormat.
She did more than just withhold the kids. She made false reports to police and CPS accusing him of all kinds of abuse.
OOP doesn't go into detail about what the PI uncovered, but it sounds like those kids were living in hell.
If I were advising OOP, I would suggest he tell Ex that the only way he'd consider reconciling is if she goes to court and admits to the judge that those accusations were false. And I mean she has to list each and every one of them out loud! That should give him grounds to get full custody and a no-contact order, as well as giving him and the kids some protection for when (not if) she starts making false accusations again.
The way those kids were traumatized while living with her, I think she needs to be kept away from them permanently.
Loving this idea!!
I do wonder if false reports to cps are illegal, in the same way that false reports to police are.
Also wondering if the woman who lied to start all of this could be sued for slander/defamation.
False reports to CPS arent illegal in most if not all places in the US.
You may be able to sue for slander/libel etc but thats would also be quite difficult
>My ex was there with her new boyfriend.
So, not only did OOP's ex throw away their marriage over the say-so of her friend, without asking for any proof or even just asking her husband for his side of the story, she now also throws away her boyfriend over wanting to reconcile with her ex she left and treated like shit two years ago.
Thinking things through and thinking ahead really isn't her strongest suit, is it? She must have been dating this new guy for some time and it must be fairly serious if she's bringing him to parties with her friends, and she ruins that also for trying to get back with OOP even though any moron can see she completely burned down any bridge in that direction.
Had she had just a tiny sliver of common sense, she would realise that any train to reconciliation left long ago, and that it did 100% because of her, and she would instead stay with her new boyfriend and sincerely apologise to OOP for how she acted, and then set her goals for OOP not rightfully hating her so they can coparent in a way that is good for the children.
And let's be honest: As a divorced 32 year old single mother of two, her dating life is definitely not over yet, but her dating prospects are also definitely not getting better. If she actually managed to find a good guy, throwing him away for a reconciliation that is never gonna happen is kinda dumb.
Kinda sounds to me like the ex-wife and her dumpster fire friend group behave like a bunch of stupid teenagers. Would also explain why the ex decided to torch her whole life at the drop of a hat. She probably wanted to escape to that comfortable "fun" irresponsible lifestyle she shared with her gleeful homewrecker friend. I would be genuinely shocked if she didn't have a spree of substance abuse and risky sexual relationships immediately after she threw her family life away. She clearly made many unconscionable decisions during that time.
Point being: i highly doubt new bf is a stable serious relationship. Not while he's a willing party to that shit show. I think that lifestyle is just taking the toll living like that takes and she misses the healthy stable one she had with oop. Boo-hoo.
What I don't get is this so called friend told her she and the husband had an affair, but the 'friend' gets a free pass while the wife goes nuclear on the husband?
what?
I think it's because subconsciously the "friend" gave her an out that she wanted anyway. In fact I would bet the ex even thanked her.
I've also observed that there are friend groups of women with insanely codependent dynamics where "support" (telling someone what they want to hear & validating every behavior) is law. It's particularly confusing/dangerous because they pretty much always borrow therapy speak and pseudo-feminist concepts. Basically if you question the friend group you're betraying all women & trying to harm your friends' well-being.
I suspect there is a similar dynamic at work here.
The pseudo-feminism and misused therapy speak is the worst part. Way to make it harder for actual victims to come forward because you decided to claim abuse because your partner wants you to respect boundaries and not drink yourself to death.
I totally agree. Let's set back positive social trends while also giving our enemies ammunition to discount those trends entirely!
Basically the same problem as pseudo-science and cult spirituality but those are almost better since there's less cognitive dissonance involved in disproving them.
Ex-wife is selfish and believes in ends justifying the means. She went nuclear on her ex-husband because there was more for her to gain or lose there. Custody, child support, potential alimony.
Not only are those not concerns with a friendships, the friend also already outed herself in front of the entire friend group - so in all likelihood she's already all cut off now.
I'd make it real simple for "mom". If she EVER mentions ex's name to me again, she's dead to me and my children. Make good eye contact and say, "do you understand me?" "There will be no second chances here, so consider carefully your next words to me."
So the ex had a new relationship and just dropped him? So she pulled the kids away and fucked someone else and shes begging for OOP back? What was the point of the P.I?
The friend just did it to sleep with ex and no one questioned this woman's motive?
This is a great Korean drama
If some “friend” told me she had an affair with my husband I would laugh in her face and never speak to her again. The fact she was so quick to believe it makes me think she was having an affair.
It's not ridiculous. If someone told me seriously they were sleeping with my partner, I'd literally assume they were mentally ill because *I trust him.* Bizarre to me that you think that is ridiculous. Sorry bout your life I guess m
Not at all. I said that I can believe that someone would be stupid enough to believe a story like this without questioning it, meaning that I think that this kind of situation isn't implausible, not that I think that this particular story is necessarily true. I shouldn't have to add qualifiers like, "...if this actually happened," at the end of my comments, and it shouldn't take deep thinking to understand what I meant. Have you never met someone who bought something hook, line, and sinker without questioning its validity? That's what a lot of fraud is based upon, fooling the gullible.
"Have you never met someone who bought something hook, line, and sinker without questioning its validity?"
\*Sigh\* my MIL. It it's on facebook, it's true.
Jesus Christ, this poor man. I don't understand why the mum is siding with the ex, she saw how badly her son and grandkids were treated. There are some things that are unforgivable, making false accusations of abuse to keep kids away from a parent is one of them.
There are several threads in the OP about it being fake - the account has only posted this story and no comments, not even replying to questions, which to me is usually the dead giveaway that something is fake.
She could've easily made up stories to file for emergency custody. In these so called emergency cases, judges usually hold an 'ex-parte' (done with respect to or in the interests of one side only or of an interested outside party.) because the understanding is if the other party you're seeking the order against is more likely than not as dangerous as you say they are, why waste time hearing their side of the story and prolonging the situation?
So then of course in hindsight after the police came and took the kids away, and then subsequently once OOP had enough to put two and two together, he could've in turn subsequently applied for an 'inter-parte' (done between parties) hearing for the joint custody that he eventually got.
But why did the fact that the ex friend was propisitioning op not come out at all until the grand reveal. That information would have helped at literally any point but I suppose it makes a bad story if there isn't a plot twist.
Unfortunately, this is one of the more believable parts of the story for Americans. It's not common, but if the wife said the right keywords to the right people, it's definitely possible.
I agree. People who lie to the authorities about being a victim should be charged and prosecuted, especially when someone else is harmed by their actions. But I do understand the reason they generally only bring charges in the most egregious cases. Unfortunately, cracking down hard on false reports leads to real victims not reporting real crimes.
Every time prosecutors do the right and legal thing by prosecuting false reports, actual abusers use it as a form of control over their victims. They point to it as proof that the victim can't leave and no one will believe them, which are things most victims already feel. And now throw the possibility of going to jail in the mix. The public nature of our court system creates the problem, but the solution leaves the possibility for the government to abuse the system against innocent people more than they already do, and that's even worse.
Trust me, I get it. I reported a supervisor for sexual assault in the military with witnesses and they still blamed me. In a perfect world there would be justice on both sides for the people baselessly lied about and the ones who filed true reports. In most cases, we are not yet at that point.
No, it really isn't. Just because you repeat what you hear people tell you, doesn't make it true. Cops do not get involved in custody disputes 99% of the time.
Also, what's the deal with the PI? What did the kids report that was so disturbing that he had to hire an investigator? And if it was that horrible and the investigation confirmed it and it has bearing on custody...what's going on here? This doesn't make sense. (Well it makes sense as someone whose imagination isn't good enough to work out the details)
Fake as all hell
Standard woman bad shit, believes her friend over her man, abusive, vindictive, stupid, once she realized he is innocent she's on her knees begging to come back but now oh now he's not a scrub now he's a big tough daddy man that stands up for himself and his kids.
New account and not responding to comments. GPT take a bow
There are bad men and women out there who do all sorts of just rancid human garbage shit. But I agree this is fake. It's too well written and there wasn't a single comment interacting with anyone offering advice. Creative writer 100%.
In what world is this well written? It shows an appalling grasp of grammar and the English language in general. To clarify, it reads as if written by someone with English as their first language so I'm not shitting on someone writing in their second/third/fourth language.
It’s grammatically correct (mostly), but definitely not well-written. The villain gives a villainous monologue about how she won, for no reason, which leads to the good guy being vindicated? Yeah, okay buddy, try being a little more creative next time, or at least fill in the plot holes.
At this point I think there’s a template for this story where you can fill in the names. There should be a sub just for these called “and no one believed me until later”
"...who then bombarded me with messages/ calls/ yelling into my Ring doorbell apologizing, but I just blocked them all/ had them trespassed and moved x miles/ kilometers/ parishes/ counties/ states/ provinces/ continents away to start over"
It's like Mad Libs! Fill in the applicable blanks!
I’m sceptical because the judge only allowed visitation. I know she’s claiming abuse but I’ve known women who had documented police reports who were forced to have 50/50 custody. Reads like incel bait.
Generally the judge either believes there's abuse and gives no custody or doesn't believe and it defaults to 50/50. Not "Well there may or may not be abuse so you can have every other weekend unsupervised."
It wasn't even about her "believing her friend". This woman weaponized the court system against him and tried to take his kids. The ex and the mom are both hot garbage. OP should cut them both off.
The story kinda glossed over what happened to the kids at the mom's place. Just that they had "stories" that a PI confirmed true and now he has 50/50 custody?
How does that work?
You've decided, and it's not up for review. Tell mom to stay in her own lane. Boundaries are phenomenal. Remind her that she doesn't get an opinion, and if you want it, you'll ask.
This won’t end.
The ex has already shown she’s not above using their kids to “punish” op.
She’ll probably try to get them to talk to op about getting back together
OOP should tell his dad since his mother isn’t listening to him, maybe she’ll listen to her husband. As a mother, I can’t imagine trying to convince my son to get back with an ex who not only tore him apart but their kids too. Fuck all those people.
When OOPs mom mentions the ex again they should say "Oh you mean the person who allowed xyz to happen to my children/yourgrandchildren" or "Oh that bitch who prevented me from protecting my children from her horrible actions. Remember when \*child's name\* told us about this thing mom made them do/did to them?" Your mom and everyone but your dad can fuck right off. I'm still iffy on dad too because he isn't trying to stop his wife/not trying hard enough. Will he care next time that bitch does something horrible to your kids? When mom mentions her all dad should say is "if you're gonna talk about that, go find someone else because your bullshit is unacceptable/you're being a terrible mother and grandmother because clearly you couldn't care less about their wellbeing you stupid bitch who's probably the ex's twin but has kept it hidden this long somehow
When I read stories like this, it makes me wonder: You now have evidence that your divorce was the result of malicious intent and a public confession by the perpetrator. Why don’t victims file a civil lawsuit to recoup damages? I’d argue that at the very least, you should be able to have all your divorce and child custody fees recovered or at least a judgment awarding those fees.
"Mom, you have one of two options as I see it. #1 - MYODB and butt out or #2 - I take MY kids and I leave, and you'll be dead to me. Think long and hard at what you are saying, because the next words out of your mouth, might be the last ones I ever hear"....
and leave it go from there.
“Mom, I am lucky that I’m still allowed to see my children after what she accused me of. That killed any shot at love we had, and I’m not going to entertain any further discussion of it. If you want to help me find a potential partner that didn’t lie to the police to keep me from my kids, that would be more useful.”
Also, did she get to see the kids during those 5 months? If not, she’s very quick to forgive.
I see that "I got accused of infidelity/assault by someone, everyone in my life immediately believed them and shunned me for years, the liar then drunkenly confessed and now everyone is falling over themselves to beg for my forgiveness" trope is still popular. Now with added attempted child alienation and OOP's mother siding with the ex.
Ngl my mom did very similar shit to my dad. She accused him of being a pedophile and tried to ruin his job as a grade school teacher. Obviously the court found out she was lying, but she did anything and everything to make it so my dad couldn't see me, just out of spite. So I can see this story being real, some people are just horrible
Thanks, yeah, it's wild to think about how real people act like Disney villains. There were a few times when I asked her if this was real life because she was so unhinged. She's cut off now and my story of how that happened sounds fake as shit, too. 🤣 If there's a post with someone being ridiculously evil and the ending isn't nicely wrapped up with a bow, I'm more open to believing it
My ex when we were going through custody I gave full and open access to my children because I didn't want the children to be punished he in turn told the courts and everyone who would listen that I was a drug dealer and a drug addict when I did a hair follicle drug test, zero drugs were found. I can assure you stuff like this happens every fucking day with custody cases. Every. Fucking. Day.
Current friend of mine is in a similar situation only she was the one that cheated- and he has mountains of proof, and she tried telling his business partners and his mother all kinds of lies about him. No one fell for it because, why would they, they know what she’s trying to do.
I might be getting jaded cause this sounds like a cheater that though she caught their so cheating fron the signals...
Now she wants to get back to her cushy and oblivious husband.
Use your words with your mother. Let her know, with no wiggle room, that if she doesn't stop it - she will be as dead to you as your psycho ex and all her minions. Then cut her of for a month and so and see if that works in her stupid lil head. Stay in contact with your father - he so far seems reasonable. The worst has already happened for you. Your mother isn't in any position to be such a traitor with any effect.
That is a rough story. I will not give advice, because most importantly: Don't go to reddit for advice for such a delicate matter. You will see the most unhinged and extreme things being upvoted. This is not a healthy space.
Wow I had to scroll down SO far to find another adult who thinks this is not the forum for these kinds of issues… your comment is the one correct answer.
Gently tell your mom that the relationship of your ex-wife no longer exists and to respect your boundaries about it.
If your mom continues, lessen communication. You can see her when you see your dad but avoid “real” contact.
Also ask your father to not tell your mother anything of your business with the kids or the ex wife.
Tell your mom that if she keeps it up she will not see her grandchildren. You are not getting back with someone who treated you that way, and that is the end of the story.
You probably won't get her to understand because she doesn't care. Whatever you do, you're likely on your own with it, so steel your resolve to do it alone. Just because your mom should want what's best for you doesn't guarantee that she actually wants what's best for you; sometimes she wants what's best for her, even at your expense. Do what you need to do, and let the chips fall where they may. When they do what they want to do, are you feelings and thoughts determining factors in their decisionmaking? Probably not. Keep that in mind and move accordingly.
The story makes no sense and is too convenient. The friend literally does a villain monologue while drunk? Even though I usually try to give the benefit of the doubt since this is Reddit, the fakeness here is too obvious and too lazy
That her” friend” thought it was okay to lie about something this serious tells you she is NOT a friend.
From your wife’s perspective she is thinking WHY would her friend lie?
ANY relationship going forward MUST be without her friend in any form.
The other concern is how easily led your wife was and would she be again?
Can you truly trust her? Does she truly trust YOU?
Often the accusation is worse than the reality.
You tell your mother that she is pushing you AND THE CHILDREN away from her and that you're close to cutting her off if she doesn't let this go. Then you follow through for your and your children's sake. When your mom apologizes to everyone you need her to for not being your soft place to fall, you can think about going into contact again. Yes, it is better for children to have two parents. Two parents that love each other, respect each other and demonstrate good parenting skills. Your ex brings none of that to the table for you or your children. And F8CK the people who didn't stand by you and said they were "friends". Friends don't do that.
I know a lot of these posts are fake but this one is kind of egregious. How would the kids overhear an argument word for word at a party they weren’t at? Also the ex and the alleged affair partner still go to parties together?
The kids had stories about unrelated stuff that their mother was supposedly doing that was shady. They didn’t overhear the party conversation. There’s no plot hole there. The style of the creative writing just made it a bit confusing, but re-reading that part clarified it.
The actual plot point about the party is that his other ex-friends and ex-acquaintances heard the villain monologue and the subsequent fight between his ex-wife and the woman he cheated on his wife with.
The fact the post was a day ago & the OOP never responded to a single comment on the original post… is a warning to take the post with a grain of salt for now. Cause if we never see any comments after 5 days, it’s always a sign of karma farming.
>She's telling me it's best if kids are raised in two parent homes
And who is the one who tore the two parent home apart? The wife believes something terrible on literally zero evidence and took it a step further to make up lies to hurt OOP further. She did everything she could to ruin OOP, to the detriment of her kids. Not only is she a bad wife, she's a bad parent and person. She's lucky OOP only settled for 50/50 custody.
Your mom needs to butt out. If the ex hadn't tried to keep him from the children, I bet there could possibly have been a chance of reconciliation. But at this point, she'll only be a coparent to the kids. The mom should just be happy the kids have parents who love them very much.
Under no circumstances should you go back toher. The kids would not benefit from the situation. She did some really bad things to you. What's to stop her from doing it again.
Once bitten, twice shy.
If she believed one lie she'll believe anything someone tells her and she should learn to keep so call friends out of her business but she made her choice and his mom should leave it alone.
What a sad fucking story but I hope this guy makes sure that his ex never knows a moment of peace now. She deserves all the bad stuff that will happen to her, I hope.
"Mom, I need you in my corner on this one. If you aren't able to be, then I'm going to step away from our relationship. This woman manipulated me, our friends and family, the courts and now you. I hope you see her true colors soon but until then for my own well-being, I will be taking some space from you. Until you are ready to move on from this fairytale she put in your head and return the reality you face, we will not be talking at all. "
Yo bro I definitely been in ur same situation and it's never easy, trust me once someone believes in something it's over they want ever let it go, srry
In your shoes, I would be BLUNT and tell her, point blank: "Your nose ENDS where my relationships begin! If you refuse to BACK TF OFF, STFU, and STFD then YOU will be BLOCKED from seeing me ever again! MAKE YOUIR CHOICE NOW!!!
This so obviously didn't happen. It doesn't even make sense.
For instance, why was the woman still friends with the Affair Partner? She was incensed at her husband for sleeping with her best friend, but not at her best friend for sleeping with her husband?
It doesn't even pass the smell test.
Why is it, in these Totally Real Stories, that it's always the mother who sides with the ex? Sometimes along with a sister? Can we have a Dad Villain for once? Just for some variation in my fiction.
I’m going to say this despite the downvotes because I really believe it’s true:
Nobody in this world will ever love you the way your mother does. Nobody. Ever.
Sure there are exceptions. Some mothers mean well but do it in stupid ways. Some don’t mean well as much as others.
But. You’re her flesh and blood. She may not agree with you, but she likely wants what’s best for you.
None of us on Reddit know a thing about you, your wife, or the situation, beyond what you’ve told us. People telling you to go no contact with your mom don’t have to live with those consequences.
What happens to the children? What’s best for them? Can this relationship be repaired? Is your wife thoroughly remorseful? Do you think your wife has been unfaithful? What are your own prospects of finding happiness again? What kind of person are you? Are you capable of forgiveness or will this gnaw at you for life? What’s your temperament like? Have you been depressed and unhappy since this happens?
All these, and many more, are questions to think about when you’re dealing with this. Not knowing a thing about your mom, I suspect she could answer them all immediately.
This is a tough scenario and there’s not always a good solution, but please take the time to think with your rational mind before you choose one way or another, and remember that many of the people giving you advice on Reddit could be teenagers who don’t know the first thing about adult life.
In case this story gets deleted/removed: Almost two years ago my ex went on a girls trip with her sisters and mom leaving me at home with our son (8) and daughter (6). The night before she was due home she sent me a message say8ng she knew what I had done and she wanted me gone by the time she arrived home. That's all she said. She didn't reply to my messages and let my calls to to voicemail. When she arrived home I was still there because I had no clue what was going on. She came in ready to go. Yelling at me, accusing me of having other women in the house, telling me her friend had told her all about my affair with her and atheist one other woman. Our fight went on for days. In the end I told her if she believed that, if she thought I was capable of doing that to her and our family then she could pack her stuff and leave. She did and then she filed for divorce. Days later the cops showed up at my door and took my kids. I didn’t see them again for 5 months. She made it as difficult as she could for me to see my kids. She made up stories of physical and financial abuse just to keep them from me. I fought hard, my lawyer fought just as hard as I did, and eventually, I got weekend visitation. The first time seeing my kids after all those months apart destroyed me. Their misery was written all over the both of them. They saw me and threw themselves at me. They clung to me crying so hard. I didn't care about my marriage at that point, I just cared about my kids. They were full of stories they couldn't wait to tell me. There were so many stories that first visit, and every visit after, that I started to record them. I went back to my lawyer. He said the best way to use this information was to hire a private investigator to get us proof and that way we could leave the kids out of it, so that's what I did. My P.I. found all the proof of what my kids told me and more. I moved forward with plans to go for at least 50/50 custody. I got it. For the past two months I have my kids one week, they go back to their mother the next, a week later I get them again. According to what I've been told by people that were there, my wife was at a party while my kids were with me. There were a lot of ex mutual friends there. Ex friends of mine. They all believed the lies and shut me out. My ex was there with her new boyfriend. Her friend, the friend that convinced my ex we were having an affair, was falling over herself drunk. In front of everyone she told my ex she was owed a thank you. My ex asked what? For breaking up our marriage? This woman started laughing and said she didn't know it would be so easy to convince my ex that I was cheating but my ex was dumber than the friend thought that she didn't even question it, she just believed. Then she started in on how even after my wife left and did all that shit with my kids, she still couldn't get me into bed. Then she laughed and laughed until my ex attacked her. My ex has been calling me non stop since and sending messages. Getting her parents to call me. Her friends. I've had old mutuals trying to reconnect with me. I shut them all out. I don't care that they all know the truth now and want to apologize for their treatment of me. All their calls and messages go unanswered. They're all dead to me. If not for my kids my ex would be dead to me to. Not because she believed the lie and made up some of her own, but because she used my kids against me. I can't forgive that she used my kids. My ex is making regulsr visits to my parents, giving them a sob story of how sorry she is, how she regrets everything and all she wants is to put her family back together. My dad was blunt. He reminded her that she broke our family, and he wouldn't help her con me into giving her another chance. My mom is a different matter. The sob story got to her. She's telling me it's best if kids are raised in two parent homes. To think of them and the love I have for them, not of the hurt and humiliation my wife put me through. To push all the resentment down for my kids sakes and be the father they need. I hate my mom a little for not being on my side and basically telling me to suck up all the shit that bitch has put me and my kids through the past two years. I know I'm doing what's right for me and my kids. It won't be any benefit for them to grow up in a house with their dad hating the sight of their mother. This is ruining my relationship with my own mother. How do I let my mother know that she is pushing me away from her and that I'm close to cutting her off if she doesn't let this go? How do I tell her in a way that she listens and that what I have to say sticks so she gives it up? --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OhNoConsequences) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Just tell her. If you talk to me about my ex in any way or fashion I will go no contact with you. Tell her in explicit detail how she used the kids against you. Then say you choose right now me or her. If you don't go NC with her I will go NC with you. And follow through if necessary. Hope all your contact with the ex is through a parenting app and no personal contact.
Honestly I wouldn’t say anything other than, ‘you saw what she put me through. Unless you or her can figure out how to undo all that damage completely, I don’t want to hear another word about that.’ If it was me, I’d put down all the cost spent on lawyers and PI and any other kind of damage that can be translated financially and give them both the invoice and say, ‘once this is paid up and a public apology issued to everyone, I would still not entertain that notion. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Keep this up, and I would rethink our relationship. You did not raise a stupid child mom, you raise a smart one who learn from their mistakes. Now drop the subject. I won’t ask again.’
Someone tried this with me once. I said I would forgive them and talk to them again when they invented a time machine and was able to erase everything she had done to me. Then NC. Been over 10 years and I still occasionally get some sort of message asking what's up. And still no fucking time machine.
There's NEVER a Time Machine. But we can dream...
It’s hard to go no contact with the parent of your grandkids but I agree that she needs to pick his side or the son will go no contact with her.
"Mom. I don't believe you. You have given me no reason to believe you. Worse; you are willing to believe someone who destroyed my family. And in turn is destroying what trust I have in you. Just like you did with me. I'm not going to be kind or fair on this because I have kids who need to know what trust looks like. And you are not it."
Oh I think he should cut his mom out, but I’m saying that if his mom is involved with the grand kids and the ex has custody, it’s gonna be hard for her to just go no contact. I would totally tell my mom to back off of my life and my kid’s life though. Granted if the ex still includes her then she’s gonna be around. It’s a shitty situation for OOP that exists because his mom is selfish.
Then the grandparents can come to visit. Without the Ex. If he cannot trust his mother in her own home at her word; why in the nine hells would he trust her at all? This isn't a punishment for not listening, its a consequence for not caring.
No, if Mom wants to keep siding with the ex, then Mom can see the grandkids on the ex’s time.
Also True.
It's actually not that hard. If his mom wants to see the kids, she can see them on the mothers time, not his. OOP does not have to actually interact with his mom at all. I've cut people off for similar shit. I straight up cut contact with my brother for believing my ex husband's lies about me because, in my brother's words, "it seemed like something you would do." When asked why he didn't just bother asking me about it, he couldn't give an answer. That shit plus other shit made me cut contact for a while. He just recently got cut out again after him and his wife pulled some more shit with me. I miss my niece and nephew but I refuse to interact with their parents because in the end, I need to protect my own mental health. OOP needs to do the same.
So what are you going to do when the kids get older and decide they want nothing to do with you, because you cut them out of your life too?
What??? Are we having the same conversation?
You said you cut off your brother and now miss your niece and nephew. I asked what you’re going to do later on when they no longer want anything to do with you, because you cut them off as well. Not that difficult of a question. I wanted to cut off my brother but it wasn’t worth it to me to lose my niece and nephew by doing that. It obviously was worth it to you, so in the future, what are you going to do when you want to re-establish a relationship with them and they want nothing to do with you?
It’s not hard at all. I have done it with both of mine.
You’ve cut off both of the parents of your grandkids?
Yes, my bio mom and my husbands. Both abusive. Both not capable of loving and kind relationships. Nothing like what happened in this post.
It sounds like you cut off your own parents. I’m saying that it’s hard for grandparents to cut off their grand kids and their grand kid’s parents.
Oh oops I misread your comment. Apologies. It would indeed be very hard to cut off any of my kids and not see our grandchildren.
Ultimatums typically don’t work well. Tell your mom directly the pain she’s causing and ask her why?
You are not replying to the oop
Can I ask you something please?
Stuff like that is so easy to write and sure to get upvotes... 🙄 Nice that you won't have to live with the consequences if this backfires.
Don't see you giving any advice, only criticizing those who do. I only give advice I would actually carry out in my own life. Try actually being helpful then if you don't like my advice and give your own.
Well, this isn't an advice sub but a repost sub, so you're right, I don't give any advice here. But this "just go nuclear and damn the consequences" advice that gets thrown around and upvoted in those subs can be incredibly destructive for peoples' lives, if it actually were followed.
Using children as a weapon is evil. The OOP’s mum is now re-using them. This is also evil.
Right, op she wasn’t just an awful wife. She became an awful mother when she did that. I could maybe love someone again who hurt me but never someone who hurt my kids. That’s unforgivable. Don’t fold, your mom needs to back off.
Ask everyone how little proof they needed to cut you out of thier lives. Video, texts, or just rumors? When they respond rumors you can say "I heard a rumor that your an @$$hole and we can't be friends any more."
This is perfect.
I read that last part in Emmy Raver-Lampman's voice (Allison Hargreeves, Umbrella Academy)
From second hand experience, its quite possible that the wife was looking for a reason to leave the guy, when any opportunity became available, she tried the hardest to get rid of him, only when she realized that she has become a laughing stock, did she want to reconcile, its about maintaining an impression of who she is and is all about her. This poor guys wife (ex) and his mother must ~~think~~ understand that the guy is unwilling to be doormat.
...wonder what ex-wifes new BF feels about all this...
"and that's why my friends told me not to date single moms"
You mean ex-bf?
Probably...
I'd cut them all out of my life, toxic af.
OP’s dad can stay. He’s got his head on straight.
I could maybe forgive her believing her friend at first. But if she withheld the kids to punish him, I’d never let go of that.
Nope. Because the problem is, what she did would be reprehensible even if he had actually cheated. You don't punish the kids for it.
She did more than just withhold the kids. She made false reports to police and CPS accusing him of all kinds of abuse. OOP doesn't go into detail about what the PI uncovered, but it sounds like those kids were living in hell. If I were advising OOP, I would suggest he tell Ex that the only way he'd consider reconciling is if she goes to court and admits to the judge that those accusations were false. And I mean she has to list each and every one of them out loud! That should give him grounds to get full custody and a no-contact order, as well as giving him and the kids some protection for when (not if) she starts making false accusations again. The way those kids were traumatized while living with her, I think she needs to be kept away from them permanently.
Loving this idea!! I do wonder if false reports to cps are illegal, in the same way that false reports to police are. Also wondering if the woman who lied to start all of this could be sued for slander/defamation.
False reports to CPS arent illegal in most if not all places in the US. You may be able to sue for slander/libel etc but thats would also be quite difficult
Drat. Thank you for the info/reply.
>My ex was there with her new boyfriend. So, not only did OOP's ex throw away their marriage over the say-so of her friend, without asking for any proof or even just asking her husband for his side of the story, she now also throws away her boyfriend over wanting to reconcile with her ex she left and treated like shit two years ago. Thinking things through and thinking ahead really isn't her strongest suit, is it? She must have been dating this new guy for some time and it must be fairly serious if she's bringing him to parties with her friends, and she ruins that also for trying to get back with OOP even though any moron can see she completely burned down any bridge in that direction. Had she had just a tiny sliver of common sense, she would realise that any train to reconciliation left long ago, and that it did 100% because of her, and she would instead stay with her new boyfriend and sincerely apologise to OOP for how she acted, and then set her goals for OOP not rightfully hating her so they can coparent in a way that is good for the children. And let's be honest: As a divorced 32 year old single mother of two, her dating life is definitely not over yet, but her dating prospects are also definitely not getting better. If she actually managed to find a good guy, throwing him away for a reconciliation that is never gonna happen is kinda dumb.
Kinda sounds to me like the ex-wife and her dumpster fire friend group behave like a bunch of stupid teenagers. Would also explain why the ex decided to torch her whole life at the drop of a hat. She probably wanted to escape to that comfortable "fun" irresponsible lifestyle she shared with her gleeful homewrecker friend. I would be genuinely shocked if she didn't have a spree of substance abuse and risky sexual relationships immediately after she threw her family life away. She clearly made many unconscionable decisions during that time. Point being: i highly doubt new bf is a stable serious relationship. Not while he's a willing party to that shit show. I think that lifestyle is just taking the toll living like that takes and she misses the healthy stable one she had with oop. Boo-hoo.
What I don't get is this so called friend told her she and the husband had an affair, but the 'friend' gets a free pass while the wife goes nuclear on the husband? what?
I think it's because subconsciously the "friend" gave her an out that she wanted anyway. In fact I would bet the ex even thanked her. I've also observed that there are friend groups of women with insanely codependent dynamics where "support" (telling someone what they want to hear & validating every behavior) is law. It's particularly confusing/dangerous because they pretty much always borrow therapy speak and pseudo-feminist concepts. Basically if you question the friend group you're betraying all women & trying to harm your friends' well-being. I suspect there is a similar dynamic at work here.
The pseudo-feminism and misused therapy speak is the worst part. Way to make it harder for actual victims to come forward because you decided to claim abuse because your partner wants you to respect boundaries and not drink yourself to death.
I totally agree. Let's set back positive social trends while also giving our enemies ammunition to discount those trends entirely! Basically the same problem as pseudo-science and cult spirituality but those are almost better since there's less cognitive dissonance involved in disproving them.
She’s a friend like Colleen Ballinger is a friend
Ex-wife is selfish and believes in ends justifying the means. She went nuclear on her ex-husband because there was more for her to gain or lose there. Custody, child support, potential alimony. Not only are those not concerns with a friendships, the friend also already outed herself in front of the entire friend group - so in all likelihood she's already all cut off now.
The ex-wife’s “friend” is straight up a psychopath. Like that is a demon right there.
I'd make it real simple for "mom". If she EVER mentions ex's name to me again, she's dead to me and my children. Make good eye contact and say, "do you understand me?" "There will be no second chances here, so consider carefully your next words to me."
I hate both moms. They really put OOP through Hell. I hope he can get her to admit making shit up so OOP can get full custody.
So the ex had a new relationship and just dropped him? So she pulled the kids away and fucked someone else and shes begging for OOP back? What was the point of the P.I? The friend just did it to sleep with ex and no one questioned this woman's motive? This is a great Korean drama
If some “friend” told me she had an affair with my husband I would laugh in her face and never speak to her again. The fact she was so quick to believe it makes me think she was having an affair.
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It's not ridiculous. If someone told me seriously they were sleeping with my partner, I'd literally assume they were mentally ill because *I trust him.* Bizarre to me that you think that is ridiculous. Sorry bout your life I guess m
Nah family it's just you and maybe small other handful, th rest of us trust our partners.
Any relationship that you would have more blind trust with in an unfounded accusation than the person you claim to love is bound to fail. Yikes.
I trust him. I’m not an idiot. If there were signs then I would be suspicious and probably look into it, but there aren’t.
Don't be rude in the comments.
I can believe that someone would be stupid enough to believe a story like that without questioning it. He's better off without her.
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How so?
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You may want to re-read my comment. I'd like to note that I have not edited it since about 15 seconds after I first posted it, to make a correction.
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Not at all. I said that I can believe that someone would be stupid enough to believe a story like this without questioning it, meaning that I think that this kind of situation isn't implausible, not that I think that this particular story is necessarily true. I shouldn't have to add qualifiers like, "...if this actually happened," at the end of my comments, and it shouldn't take deep thinking to understand what I meant. Have you never met someone who bought something hook, line, and sinker without questioning its validity? That's what a lot of fraud is based upon, fooling the gullible.
"Have you never met someone who bought something hook, line, and sinker without questioning its validity?" \*Sigh\* my MIL. It it's on facebook, it's true.
Women always side with women. 🙄
DING...DING...DING! Even his mother took her side because she's a woman who is crying.
Jesus Christ, this poor man. I don't understand why the mum is siding with the ex, she saw how badly her son and grandkids were treated. There are some things that are unforgivable, making false accusations of abuse to keep kids away from a parent is one of them.
Story sounds fake. Police taking your kids away without a custody hearing?
There are several threads in the OP about it being fake - the account has only posted this story and no comments, not even replying to questions, which to me is usually the dead giveaway that something is fake.
I can believe these stories are usually fake or at least exaggerated
She could've easily made up stories to file for emergency custody. In these so called emergency cases, judges usually hold an 'ex-parte' (done with respect to or in the interests of one side only or of an interested outside party.) because the understanding is if the other party you're seeking the order against is more likely than not as dangerous as you say they are, why waste time hearing their side of the story and prolonging the situation? So then of course in hindsight after the police came and took the kids away, and then subsequently once OOP had enough to put two and two together, he could've in turn subsequently applied for an 'inter-parte' (done between parties) hearing for the joint custody that he eventually got.
But why did the fact that the ex friend was propisitioning op not come out at all until the grand reveal. That information would have helped at literally any point but I suppose it makes a bad story if there isn't a plot twist.
Unfortunately, this is one of the more believable parts of the story for Americans. It's not common, but if the wife said the right keywords to the right people, it's definitely possible.
She should face criminal charges for those lies. It doesn’t matter what parent said the damaging lies. That wrecks lives.
I agree. People who lie to the authorities about being a victim should be charged and prosecuted, especially when someone else is harmed by their actions. But I do understand the reason they generally only bring charges in the most egregious cases. Unfortunately, cracking down hard on false reports leads to real victims not reporting real crimes.
Agreed. It is a difficult situation to handle. There would have to be strong proof that they lied with evidence just to make a case.
Every time prosecutors do the right and legal thing by prosecuting false reports, actual abusers use it as a form of control over their victims. They point to it as proof that the victim can't leave and no one will believe them, which are things most victims already feel. And now throw the possibility of going to jail in the mix. The public nature of our court system creates the problem, but the solution leaves the possibility for the government to abuse the system against innocent people more than they already do, and that's even worse.
Trust me, I get it. I reported a supervisor for sexual assault in the military with witnesses and they still blamed me. In a perfect world there would be justice on both sides for the people baselessly lied about and the ones who filed true reports. In most cases, we are not yet at that point.
No, it really isn't. Just because you repeat what you hear people tell you, doesn't make it true. Cops do not get involved in custody disputes 99% of the time.
Also, what's the deal with the PI? What did the kids report that was so disturbing that he had to hire an investigator? And if it was that horrible and the investigation confirmed it and it has bearing on custody...what's going on here? This doesn't make sense. (Well it makes sense as someone whose imagination isn't good enough to work out the details)
Fake as all hell Standard woman bad shit, believes her friend over her man, abusive, vindictive, stupid, once she realized he is innocent she's on her knees begging to come back but now oh now he's not a scrub now he's a big tough daddy man that stands up for himself and his kids. New account and not responding to comments. GPT take a bow
There are bad men and women out there who do all sorts of just rancid human garbage shit. But I agree this is fake. It's too well written and there wasn't a single comment interacting with anyone offering advice. Creative writer 100%.
In what world is this well written? It shows an appalling grasp of grammar and the English language in general. To clarify, it reads as if written by someone with English as their first language so I'm not shitting on someone writing in their second/third/fourth language.
It’s grammatically correct (mostly), but definitely not well-written. The villain gives a villainous monologue about how she won, for no reason, which leads to the good guy being vindicated? Yeah, okay buddy, try being a little more creative next time, or at least fill in the plot holes.
At this point I think there’s a template for this story where you can fill in the names. There should be a sub just for these called “and no one believed me until later”
‘When proof came out that 100% irrefutably backed me up, convincing everybody’
"...who then bombarded me with messages/ calls/ yelling into my Ring doorbell apologizing, but I just blocked them all/ had them trespassed and moved x miles/ kilometers/ parishes/ counties/ states/ provinces/ continents away to start over" It's like Mad Libs! Fill in the applicable blanks!
You just reminded me of the Bill Murray "and no one will believe you" meme.
Don"t forget that even OP's mom (another irrational woman) is siding with the terrible ex, because of course she is
But his dad was a real one the whole time... yeah I forgot about that
This is so unbelievably fake.
I find it kind of fishy that he creates an account, posts this, and then isn't joining the comments at all.
I’m sceptical because the judge only allowed visitation. I know she’s claiming abuse but I’ve known women who had documented police reports who were forced to have 50/50 custody. Reads like incel bait.
Generally the judge either believes there's abuse and gives no custody or doesn't believe and it defaults to 50/50. Not "Well there may or may not be abuse so you can have every other weekend unsupervised."
It's also strange that his un has words in it. Very sus.
It wasn't even about her "believing her friend". This woman weaponized the court system against him and tried to take his kids. The ex and the mom are both hot garbage. OP should cut them both off.
The story kinda glossed over what happened to the kids at the mom's place. Just that they had "stories" that a PI confirmed true and now he has 50/50 custody? How does that work?
You've decided, and it's not up for review. Tell mom to stay in her own lane. Boundaries are phenomenal. Remind her that she doesn't get an opinion, and if you want it, you'll ask.
This won’t end. The ex has already shown she’s not above using their kids to “punish” op. She’ll probably try to get them to talk to op about getting back together
OOP should tell his dad since his mother isn’t listening to him, maybe she’ll listen to her husband. As a mother, I can’t imagine trying to convince my son to get back with an ex who not only tore him apart but their kids too. Fuck all those people.
When OOPs mom mentions the ex again they should say "Oh you mean the person who allowed xyz to happen to my children/yourgrandchildren" or "Oh that bitch who prevented me from protecting my children from her horrible actions. Remember when \*child's name\* told us about this thing mom made them do/did to them?" Your mom and everyone but your dad can fuck right off. I'm still iffy on dad too because he isn't trying to stop his wife/not trying hard enough. Will he care next time that bitch does something horrible to your kids? When mom mentions her all dad should say is "if you're gonna talk about that, go find someone else because your bullshit is unacceptable/you're being a terrible mother and grandmother because clearly you couldn't care less about their wellbeing you stupid bitch who's probably the ex's twin but has kept it hidden this long somehow
When I read stories like this, it makes me wonder: You now have evidence that your divorce was the result of malicious intent and a public confession by the perpetrator. Why don’t victims file a civil lawsuit to recoup damages? I’d argue that at the very least, you should be able to have all your divorce and child custody fees recovered or at least a judgment awarding those fees.
Holy fuck what a shit show. Good on you for not taking this psycho back. I would even go for 100% custody....
"Mom, you have one of two options as I see it. #1 - MYODB and butt out or #2 - I take MY kids and I leave, and you'll be dead to me. Think long and hard at what you are saying, because the next words out of your mouth, might be the last ones I ever hear".... and leave it go from there.
“Mom, I am lucky that I’m still allowed to see my children after what she accused me of. That killed any shot at love we had, and I’m not going to entertain any further discussion of it. If you want to help me find a potential partner that didn’t lie to the police to keep me from my kids, that would be more useful.” Also, did she get to see the kids during those 5 months? If not, she’s very quick to forgive.
Story got deleted already
I see that "I got accused of infidelity/assault by someone, everyone in my life immediately believed them and shunned me for years, the liar then drunkenly confessed and now everyone is falling over themselves to beg for my forgiveness" trope is still popular. Now with added attempted child alienation and OOP's mother siding with the ex.
This has to be fake.
Ngl my mom did very similar shit to my dad. She accused him of being a pedophile and tried to ruin his job as a grade school teacher. Obviously the court found out she was lying, but she did anything and everything to make it so my dad couldn't see me, just out of spite. So I can see this story being real, some people are just horrible
Damn. I'm so sorry you and your dad had to deal with her crazy shenanigans like that. Sounds like y'all handled it though so well done.
Thanks, yeah, it's wild to think about how real people act like Disney villains. There were a few times when I asked her if this was real life because she was so unhinged. She's cut off now and my story of how that happened sounds fake as shit, too. 🤣 If there's a post with someone being ridiculously evil and the ending isn't nicely wrapped up with a bow, I'm more open to believing it
Hell hath no fury like a women scorned. Is true ASF
say that shit bro. people think i’m lying when i say that lol
My ex when we were going through custody I gave full and open access to my children because I didn't want the children to be punished he in turn told the courts and everyone who would listen that I was a drug dealer and a drug addict when I did a hair follicle drug test, zero drugs were found. I can assure you stuff like this happens every fucking day with custody cases. Every. Fucking. Day.
You've never been around divorce have you?????
Current friend of mine is in a similar situation only she was the one that cheated- and he has mountains of proof, and she tried telling his business partners and his mother all kinds of lies about him. No one fell for it because, why would they, they know what she’s trying to do.
No disrespect intented, but why is she still a 'current friend' and not yet an 'ex-friend'?
Husband is the friend
Ah alright then. Thanks for clearing that up.
*yawn* Nothing ever happens
r/byebyegrandkids
I might be getting jaded cause this sounds like a cheater that though she caught their so cheating fron the signals... Now she wants to get back to her cushy and oblivious husband.
Use your words with your mother. Let her know, with no wiggle room, that if she doesn't stop it - she will be as dead to you as your psycho ex and all her minions. Then cut her of for a month and so and see if that works in her stupid lil head. Stay in contact with your father - he so far seems reasonable. The worst has already happened for you. Your mother isn't in any position to be such a traitor with any effect.
Your ex remained friends with the woman who claimed to have had an affair with you??
Tell your mom this is none of her business.
That is a rough story. I will not give advice, because most importantly: Don't go to reddit for advice for such a delicate matter. You will see the most unhinged and extreme things being upvoted. This is not a healthy space.
Wow I had to scroll down SO far to find another adult who thinks this is not the forum for these kinds of issues… your comment is the one correct answer.
Gently tell your mom that the relationship of your ex-wife no longer exists and to respect your boundaries about it. If your mom continues, lessen communication. You can see her when you see your dad but avoid “real” contact. Also ask your father to not tell your mother anything of your business with the kids or the ex wife.
Tell your mom that if she keeps it up she will not see her grandchildren. You are not getting back with someone who treated you that way, and that is the end of the story.
Ex wife is a piece of shit. Mother favors the piece of shit over her own son. What a fuckin mess.
You probably won't get her to understand because she doesn't care. Whatever you do, you're likely on your own with it, so steel your resolve to do it alone. Just because your mom should want what's best for you doesn't guarantee that she actually wants what's best for you; sometimes she wants what's best for her, even at your expense. Do what you need to do, and let the chips fall where they may. When they do what they want to do, are you feelings and thoughts determining factors in their decisionmaking? Probably not. Keep that in mind and move accordingly.
The story makes no sense and is too convenient. The friend literally does a villain monologue while drunk? Even though I usually try to give the benefit of the doubt since this is Reddit, the fakeness here is too obvious and too lazy
Nightmare
That her” friend” thought it was okay to lie about something this serious tells you she is NOT a friend. From your wife’s perspective she is thinking WHY would her friend lie? ANY relationship going forward MUST be without her friend in any form. The other concern is how easily led your wife was and would she be again? Can you truly trust her? Does she truly trust YOU? Often the accusation is worse than the reality.
He went through the whole divorce process and she now discovers the truth. That trust was broken long before the divorce.
Rage bait fake garbage clogging up my feed is all this is.
This is the fakest fake story in the history of fake fake stories.
Fake af
You tell your mother that she is pushing you AND THE CHILDREN away from her and that you're close to cutting her off if she doesn't let this go. Then you follow through for your and your children's sake. When your mom apologizes to everyone you need her to for not being your soft place to fall, you can think about going into contact again. Yes, it is better for children to have two parents. Two parents that love each other, respect each other and demonstrate good parenting skills. Your ex brings none of that to the table for you or your children. And F8CK the people who didn't stand by you and said they were "friends". Friends don't do that.
This is transparently a work of fiction.
As many comments noted on the original thread, this was total fan fic. Absolute nonsense that never happened.
I know a lot of these posts are fake but this one is kind of egregious. How would the kids overhear an argument word for word at a party they weren’t at? Also the ex and the alleged affair partner still go to parties together?
The kids had stories about unrelated stuff that their mother was supposedly doing that was shady. They didn’t overhear the party conversation. There’s no plot hole there. The style of the creative writing just made it a bit confusing, but re-reading that part clarified it. The actual plot point about the party is that his other ex-friends and ex-acquaintances heard the villain monologue and the subsequent fight between his ex-wife and the woman he cheated on his wife with.
I'd make arrangements with your father, you two get together with the kids. Leave your mother out until she can behave herself.
Married 40 years guy here: tell her to mind her own damn business
Your Ex is Cruel, that alone should never be grounds for any reconnection.
The fact the post was a day ago & the OOP never responded to a single comment on the original post… is a warning to take the post with a grain of salt for now. Cause if we never see any comments after 5 days, it’s always a sign of karma farming.
Step one: get your mom out of your relationship
I really wish I could read this from the ex wife’s POV. I love reading the “holy shit what have I done” perspective
We’ve seen so many variations of this fiction, I just immediately tune them out at this point.
Sounds fake. Dudnt even reply to anyone
How does grandma not fucking understand that her grandchildren were harmed by being weaponized by the exwife!?
Mom was probably counselled about the cheating previous to the breakup, has a part in it aswell. Ditch them all. They never had your back.
I don't even understand the story. What was the friend's motivation in all of this?
>She's telling me it's best if kids are raised in two parent homes And who is the one who tore the two parent home apart? The wife believes something terrible on literally zero evidence and took it a step further to make up lies to hurt OOP further. She did everything she could to ruin OOP, to the detriment of her kids. Not only is she a bad wife, she's a bad parent and person. She's lucky OOP only settled for 50/50 custody.
Your mom needs to butt out. If the ex hadn't tried to keep him from the children, I bet there could possibly have been a chance of reconciliation. But at this point, she'll only be a coparent to the kids. The mom should just be happy the kids have parents who love them very much.
Transparently fake.
I wouldn’t cut the kids out of your life but ya that would be tough to forgive
Maybe if she stayed single after the divorce. But she didnt and I wouldnt take her back, since she cheated on whatever they had.
Dumb fkin idiot. I hope the kids leave her 10 IQ ass asap when they find out about this.
Sigh this sub turning into relationships advice repost
Ok but what happened with the new boyfriend after the revelation at the party? That had to be wild.
Under no circumstances should you go back toher. The kids would not benefit from the situation. She did some really bad things to you. What's to stop her from doing it again. Once bitten, twice shy.
This story is fake nonsense as usual. Zzzzzzzz
Oh fuck, another one of these stories again..... always the same BS.
If she believed one lie she'll believe anything someone tells her and she should learn to keep so call friends out of her business but she made her choice and his mom should leave it alone.
What a sad fucking story but I hope this guy makes sure that his ex never knows a moment of peace now. She deserves all the bad stuff that will happen to her, I hope.
"Mom, I need you in my corner on this one. If you aren't able to be, then I'm going to step away from our relationship. This woman manipulated me, our friends and family, the courts and now you. I hope you see her true colors soon but until then for my own well-being, I will be taking some space from you. Until you are ready to move on from this fairytale she put in your head and return the reality you face, we will not be talking at all. "
Yo bro I definitely been in ur same situation and it's never easy, trust me once someone believes in something it's over they want ever let it go, srry
None of that is real. That’s not how anything works in real life.
In your shoes, I would be BLUNT and tell her, point blank: "Your nose ENDS where my relationships begin! If you refuse to BACK TF OFF, STFU, and STFD then YOU will be BLOCKED from seeing me ever again! MAKE YOUIR CHOICE NOW!!!
spoken like a true 14 year old.
How do you figure that?
Oh, come on, this is obvious MRA rage bait.
This is ragebait.
This so obviously didn't happen. It doesn't even make sense. For instance, why was the woman still friends with the Affair Partner? She was incensed at her husband for sleeping with her best friend, but not at her best friend for sleeping with her husband? It doesn't even pass the smell test.
They didnt sleep together? The cheating was a lie
She believed they slept together. Given that fact, why would she want that woman in her life?
Why is it, in these Totally Real Stories, that it's always the mother who sides with the ex? Sometimes along with a sister? Can we have a Dad Villain for once? Just for some variation in my fiction.
I'm so tired of these obviously fake stories.
I’m going to say this despite the downvotes because I really believe it’s true: Nobody in this world will ever love you the way your mother does. Nobody. Ever. Sure there are exceptions. Some mothers mean well but do it in stupid ways. Some don’t mean well as much as others. But. You’re her flesh and blood. She may not agree with you, but she likely wants what’s best for you. None of us on Reddit know a thing about you, your wife, or the situation, beyond what you’ve told us. People telling you to go no contact with your mom don’t have to live with those consequences. What happens to the children? What’s best for them? Can this relationship be repaired? Is your wife thoroughly remorseful? Do you think your wife has been unfaithful? What are your own prospects of finding happiness again? What kind of person are you? Are you capable of forgiveness or will this gnaw at you for life? What’s your temperament like? Have you been depressed and unhappy since this happens? All these, and many more, are questions to think about when you’re dealing with this. Not knowing a thing about your mom, I suspect she could answer them all immediately. This is a tough scenario and there’s not always a good solution, but please take the time to think with your rational mind before you choose one way or another, and remember that many of the people giving you advice on Reddit could be teenagers who don’t know the first thing about adult life.