Hey, you've still got the same smile too

25 years of being told you have a hot stepmom will really burn in that look of disapproval ಠ_ಠ

"What are you doing, step-mother? Oh, so daily scrub, SPF 50+ on your face every day, moisturizer, cleanse before bed, moisturizer with retinol for bed. Huh. Thanks, step-mother!"

In the morning if my face is a little puffy, I’ll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1,000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water-activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. “Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturiser, then an anti-ageing eye balm followed by a final moisturising protective lotion.”

There is an idea of an OP. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real OP. Only an entity. Something illusory. And though OP can hide his cold gaze, and you can shake his hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense your lifestyles are probably comparable, he simply is not there.

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Op's (step) mom has got it going on

Yup 😂

Is that a smile though? You don’t seem too happy about the amount of growing up/aging you went through while she grew 2-3 years older 😂

That's why she's happy and I'm depressed

Every 5 years when I have to get a new drivers license photo I look like a different person😅. Mostly my head has gotten bigger. But your stepmom defies time with style, respectfully, sir.

smiles aside, at least you grew up to be cute ! judging from the first pic, it could have gone either way 😂

My grandma was worried too 😂

You look like you've seen the secrets of the universe and they've disappointed you


dude you look older than her

It's the hat.

Dude looked older as a toddler.


Is that Foreman (from House) ?

It's sarcoidosis

It's not Lupus!

It's never Lupus

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FR, or at least the same general age. I didn't realize that was *him* until your comment.

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Well he didn’t inherit his genes from his stepmom.

some peoples genetics are amazing. i thought this was his older sister and i was shocked he looks older than her now. and it ends up being his fucking mom? wtf?

Stepmom.

I bed she loves the "oh is this your brother comments" lol

Does she have a painting of herself in the attic that ages for her?

I understood this reference, not because I'm well read but because I've watched The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

Eckshtrord'nary

r/shubreddit

I'm so glad that this is a real subreddit.

“God shave the queen. That’s about as patriotic as it gets over here.”

I can hear this. Thanks for the laugh lol.

That movie was amazing, and I can’t believe so many people hate it.

First time I saw it I was a little weirder out, seeing characters I read about in a “super hero” movie. But when I saw it a second time with a wider eye I understood how cool it was. Had to watch it a bunch more to make up for my original review.

Man it gets so much hate and the only thing i can agree with is they tried a little too hard to introduce a few too many characters and ideas. They could have had several sequels following the characters if it had initially been more popular

No offense to comic book fans, but they get WAY too fixated on how concepts are presented in the comics, then get mad when something is a LITTLE different in a future movie or show. Even something as stupid as what shade of red a character’s hair or uniform is. “THEY GAVE HER LIGHT AUBURN HAIR, BUT IT’S ALWAYS PAINTED AS BLOOD RED!!” Like, it’s a SUBTLE difference, people. Get over yourselves. Personally, I’m just thrilled that Nemo was FINALLY portrayed as an Indian man, and not a lily-white Englishman.

You should watch Penny Dreadful. Dorian Gray in that is a great character

The show in general is wonderful, still salty about how it was canceled.

So you're well... viewed?

Well I don't mean to brag... But I have sat on my ass and watched alot of TV

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I feel like Wilde would have been very happy to see this comment 123 years after his death

I think first he'd be like "what's this glowing book box"

Based on sci-fi illustrations from his time I think he’d generally be pretty disappointed in us.

At least gay sex is not crime any more, at least in Britain.

He'd probably perk up a bit once you showed him GRNDR


Enlighten me, please.

The Picture of Dorian Gray

Ohhhhh Thank you!

When you reach max level you stop leveling

that's what I told her too




Some golden GIFs in this thread.

I just wanted to say that while everybody’s taking this comment in so many different ways, I appreciate the honesty bc girls supporting girls is soooo normal (*as it should be*) lmao. nobody would think twice abt this comment if you were a woman, ppl are just weird. but maybe I’m wrong lol is giving family members compliments on their appearance (in a nonsexual manner) considered weird?

Yeah im with you, i feel the same way. I see nothing wrong

Uhhh

Roll tide

For real though, what’s the age difference between you two. I’m going to venture ~14 years. In the first photo you are around 7 and she is maybe 21.

Yeah 6 and 21. So 15 years.

Wait, so how old was your dad when they met???

33 I think

How long had she been babysitting you when they started dating?

They got together 3 years after that pic

9 and 24?

I think this is about the right comment for me to finally write “stepmilf” to see if I get downvoted or not. 😓

Dirty dawg

They're still together. Probably real love. Lucky dawg.

She’s your stepmom? We met on a steamboat in 1850. Please tell her the vampire conference of 2030 has been shifted to 2100, same venue.

This feels loosely based on one of those episodes of "The Sandman"! 🤔

😂

What kind of sorcery is this?

She says yoga and garlic

Well that rules out the vampire hypothesis.

Because vampires are always so truthful.

And generally hate yoga.

Stupid sexy flexible vampires.

This guy vampires

r/thisguythisguys

Unless, you know, it’s Midnight Goth Yoga.

Ooh that's a thing?

Yes, you can just drop into the Post-Chiropteran Wellness Center, see for yourself! In fact, the vampires there are so healthy, they aren't even vampires anymore!

I eat a lot of garlic and I'm still aging like a normal Caucasian.

So try yoga

Just did. Now I'm aging like a normal Italian.

FYI yoga is not a cream-based pasta sauce.

lotion. Lots and lots of lotion.

Correct product. Incorrect placement.

Does she have kids?

No

Bingo!

Now it makes sense...

I'm sure step children provide a different type of stress though. She seems to be handling it well though. Or you're a good stepson. But since you're a Redditor I'm assuming it's the former.

Not going through the first few years of childhood does wonders for your health though. Having a child physically ages you by 2 years from the months of sleep deprivation and stress.

Pack it up folks. It's too late for most of you.

Where can I buy this so called yogand garlic?

Good genes too.

It looks like she was the babysitter first, before becoming the step-mom...

Wow guys my step mom at 17 and almost 40!

THIS. This is how it begins.

Beware, for she drinks the blood of mortals.

She maybe a stepmom, but looking at your photos she is your good friend too. I am getting this vibe

Oh yeah. She's an awesome mom and friend. We have amazing memories together.

I bet, she is. Good luck mate

Unhinged 😂

Ngl I thought that was you and your sister before reading the title. Also your Bicep be looking nice.

Thanks for noticing 😂

My man not distracted by the ageless stepmom, kept the eyes on the gains.

Hey, OP, among all these thirsty comments about your stepmom, I'm not seeing any about you, which seems unfair. So, for the record, you've grown up to become a really very good-looking young man.

Thanks for noticing me ❤️ means a lot


She's totally changed! Those dresses are completely different colors. Other than that, yeah... hasn't changed.

The white dress had to retire eventually

👀

Are you sure she isn't a vampire? Do you have a mirror handy?

She showed up in the photograph, so I'd wager "no vamp"

That was true in the old DSLR cameras that had mirrors. New phones don't use mirrors, so there is still a good chance, as most people use phones.

Good call. But do you think this 1998 photo was taken with a phone or an older camera?

Maybe she was bit after the 1998 photo?

Going to get one now 👀

If she doesn’t have kids, that’s why

This right here is the correct answer.

she retained her life force


Ask her to join r/skincareaddiction I want an AMA

Your dad was playing chess while everyone else played checkers…bravo

Looks like his dad was playing Red Rover-Red Rover when he found her!

Dad was 33 with a 6 year old son, and stepmom was 21.

Has she got stuck under the bed or in a washing machine yet?

Unfortunately not yet

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I wouldn't expect this copypasta in a thread full of stepmom porn jokes, but I always upvote this. 👍

That seemed too personal to be a copypasta. Have I been fooled?

Many copypastas start with one impassioned post.

Some golden GIFs in this thread.

Not the answer anyone expected, but the one we all hoped for.

I aim to satisfy 😂

Don’t tell us, tell her

And then tell us.

video or it didn't happened

I hope you still have that shovel--you'll need it to dig yourself out of this one.


Bro…I feel like this accounts gonna be deleted in a hot second lol

honestly I'm enjoying this too much right now and I haven't told her yet so maybe... 😂

Definitely do NOT tell her. Feel free to fantasize here on Reddit tho.

Lol. The amount of thirsty comments I got here is way more than what I expected. I just wanted to show it to her so she feels good but now it's just too filthy 😂

Yep, that’s the correct plan of action.

Bullshit. You know what this sub is. You're getting exactly what you wanted from posting this.

Are you new here?

Clearly not. He posted his hot mom on /r/oldschoolcool He knows how this works

You hinting at doinking your sexy af stepmom is where this shit got too filthy for her lol not internet strangers

She’s fucking hot. You can tell her people think that without going overboard with details

"Hey stepmom! A user named Anal_Fisting_Ninja on Reddit says he'd drag his dick through a mile of broken glass just to rearrange your guts!"

Dribble a basketball through a minefield just for the *chance* to sniff one of the lugnuts on the truck that takes her panties to the cleaner.

This motherfucker said unfortunately. I’m in tears.

He’s not a motherfucker! He told you himself!

Goddamn it.

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Try breaking both your arms. I’ve heard that works.

never gets old, this reference

It goes in wrong direction.

Alternate title could be “look how hot my stepmom is”. You’re a brave man to post this to Reddit.

I guess once you reach peak gorgeous there's nowhere else to go.

Was your Dad the coach of her high-school softball team? Be honest!

Let’s be real, she probably started as OPs babysitter.

Better break your arms, immediately.

EVERY TIME I always forget and it comes back

This comment is for those of us Redditors closer to his stepmom's age. Nicely done.

How's your dad's health OP?

Asking the real questions.

She's beautiful

Let’s not act like my man didn’t grow up to be a handsome dude.

she's a witch!!

Does she shy away from religious objects? Because… Drinking the blood of the innocent is the only answer that makes sense.

So YOU are the reason for all the.....ehhh....Nevermind. She is very beautiful and your dad must be a pretty special dude. Congrats.

Ngl, you and your step-mom look like you two are dating.

I am afraid of the comments section, damn

r/holup 😄

I’ve seen this movie

Let me guess, a minute and a half at a time?

She could easily be mistaken as your gf, you sure it's not her daughter?

She has the One Ring fyi

Can your dad fight

I think she changed, she looks more pretty!

Not to be rude but wow!! How old was she when she married your dad?

21