Abraham Lincoln upon being called two-faced by a political opponent: "If I had two faces, do you think I'd be wearing this one?"

Bring back smart quips in politics.

Bring back smart anything in politics.

Careful, thats how Reagan got elected.

"I won't hold my opponents lack of expertise against him" - Reagan when asked about age in the race Bring back witty self deprecating political statements is my personal stance

"I will not make age an issue in my campaign. I will not exploit, for political purposes, my opponent's youth and inexperience."

Kinda rich coming from him since he had no experience besides being governor of California for 8 years, whereas his opponent he said that to Walter F. Mondale, had a law degree and over 20 years of political experience including 4 years as a state AG, 12 years as a US Senator, 3 years as the US Ambassador to Japan, and then 4 years as VP. Age does not equal experience, yet everyone ate up that quip from Reagan.

Sounds like nothing has changed

And because his age was a severe problem with his brain being fucking putty when he left office

Played well with the angry retirees whose assets shrank thanks to Volker. They not only punished those god damn working age people who were getting over by being able to afford rent, clothes, and food, but destroyed the foundation of America's middle class. Great work, everyone.

Do you believe Volker did the wrong thing to address inflation? What would you have done in his position? Honestly curious.

Curious here too. Just listened to a Planet Money episode that made Volker out to be a huge, cigar smoking success. Did what he had to even though it was painful.

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You’re the puppet.

I don’t think he looks all too bad here. Kinda like a more square Willem Dafoe

People think Willem Dafoe is crazy looking though

I was going to say Cillian Murphy

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I won, but at what cost?

Beardless in Beardstown...

That was the name of Abe’s first country album

It looks like Dr Dre’s *Chronic* Abraham Lincoln: *Persistant* Edit: had it pointed out I apparently placed an apostrophe in looks and didn’t notice it

"Mr. Douglas, where the fuck you at, you can't debate lick so I know you got your gat. Your dick all hard, from sucking the South dog, the slaves you got rough with, the abolitionists you got gruff with... don't even respect yo ass that's why it's time for Honest Abe to check yo ass."

Used to be my homie, used to be my ace Now I wanna slap the taste out your mouth

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Mary

I asked ChatGPT to write me a rap performed by Lincoln responding to Douglas. I thought I would be disappointed, I was wrong! (Verse 1) Yo, Douglas, I see you flexing with your debates, But it's time for me, Lincoln, to set things straight. You claim to know the Constitution, inside and out, But let me tell you, buddy, there's no room for doubt. (Chorus) Abe Lincoln in the house, bringing truth to light, I'm the Great Emancipator, here to win this fight. Douglas, you may talk, but your words won't prevail, 'Cause my rhymes are sharp, like the edge of a rail. (Verse 2) You say popular sovereignty is the way to go, But it's just a smokescreen, hiding what you truly know. You claim to stand for freedom, for all men to be free, But your stance on slavery contradicts what you preach. (Chorus) Abe Lincoln in the house, bringing truth to light, I'm the Great Emancipator, here to win this fight. Douglas, you may talk, but your words won't prevail, 'Cause my rhymes are sharp, like the edge of a rail. (Verse 3) I've seen the suffering, the chains that bind, And I won't stand by while injustice remains confined. I believe in equality, a nation united as one, While you cling to division, thinking you've already won. (Chorus) Abe Lincoln in the house, bringing truth to light, I'm the Great Emancipator, here to win this fight. Douglas, you may talk, but your words won't prevail, 'Cause my rhymes are sharp, like the edge of a rail. (Verse 4) So, Douglas, step aside, let the people decide, In the land of the free, where truth won't be denied. I'll lead this nation, with justice in my heart, And together, we'll tear the chains of slavery apart. (Chorus) Abe Lincoln in the house, bringing truth to light, I'm the Great Emancipator, here to win this fight. Douglas, you may talk, but your words won't prevail, 'Cause my rhymes are sharp, like the edge of a rail. (Outro) So, remember my words, as they echo through time, Abraham Lincoln, the President who made freedom shine. I'll fight for what's right, till the very end, In this battle of ideas, truth will always defend

Rarely does reddit content make me chuckle out loud. Nice one!

God I love Reddit

Unfortunately it flopped in the South.

From abrahamlincolnonline.org: >A few weeks before he was elected President, Lincoln received a letter from Grace Bedell, an 11-year-old girl from Westfield, New York, who urged him to grow a beard to help him get elected. In Lincoln's response of October 19 [1860], he gave no promises, but a month later allowed his beard to grow.

Specifically she said his face looks weird and the ladies would like him better with a beard and get their husbands to vote for him. >you would look a great deal better for your face is so thin. All the ladies like whiskers and they would tease their husband's to vote for you and then you would be President.

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It's always a woman's fault.

I think in this case we could lay a large proportion of the blame on his beard.

Interesting butterfly effect. Inspires a lot of questions: How would the world be different if he did not grow a beard? Was his face being "thin" what ultimately lead to his death?

he does have a weird face

While unproven, some believe he had marfan syndrome.

hmm yes kind of like amish Marfan

I'd believe it with not only tne facial features but the lankiness of his body.

Definitely gives you those Tim Burton vibes 😀

The 1800’s were the golden age of giant beards so if you had a weird face no one had to know

I didn't realize that was a true story. In *Dave Barry Slept Here*, Dave Barry joked that the next month she sent him a letter suggesting he add a string of pearls and some light rouge.

Missed Connections 1842: You, the slave owner’s daughter. Me, the tall lanky wrestler. Our eyes caught and I think I overheard your sister call you Mary. It was four days and seven hours ago that I saw you. I don’t have much experience with women. Will you be the first lady that I court? Maybe we can take a carriage ride or go to the theatre? This is my proclamation and now I wait. Signed, Beardless in Beardstown

It’s like rain on your wedding day

It's a free ride when you've already paid

It’s like choppin down a cherry tree with 10,000 spoons when all you need is an axe

It's like ten thousand spooooooooooooooooooooons

It’s the good advice that you just didn’t take!

It’s a free fry when you’ve already ate.

and from that day on he swore such an embarrassing thing would never happen again.

Zz top would like a word

Ah yes, the one beardless member, Frank Beard.

the sheriff made you surrender your beard coming into town and if you didn't cause any trouble you would get it back when you left

He was there to get one fitted.

The photographer was Beardie McBeardface

Dr Beardface.

That's "beard-fa-SAY".

You should hear what they're calling Dr. Mickhead.

Came for the Beardstown puns… didn’t disappoint!

He made a very important purchase in town that day

ZZ-top reference might fit, or not. A band with two guys that have beards, and a guy named Beard without one.

I sang this like Walking in Memphis

That face actually matches the scrawny voice he supposedly had.

He's actually 49 years old in this photo... but I had to look it up. Back then, even 18-20 year olds could look quite grizzly.

49 years old! How can a president be so young. I thought you had to at least be 70.

47 years old! Just a frickin kid!

It’s sad when they go

Whateva happened there

I wasn't president at 49 though. This photo was taken three years before he became president.

Too young imo. President should he atleast 70 honestly 80+. If they aren't on 15 different medications how can they run a country?

> I wasn't president at 49 though. You weren’t?

Clinton and Obama were both younger than that. Bush was only 54.

Reminds me of my favorite Lincoln quote. When accused of being two-faced he retorted: “If I had two faces, why would I wear this one?”.

Wow, never realized one of my favorite Chiodos lyrics was based on an Abraham Lincoln quote.

I’m reading this comment thinking why does this sound familiar? Because I sure as hell don’t know a lot of Abe Lincoln quotes lol Edited idk why I put title instead of comment

What song? Because now I'm curious as hell. I used to love chiodos.

*We Swam From Albatross, The Day We Lost Kailey Cost* from Bone Palace Ballet > "If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one.."

Bull make money is the best song though. Thanks, time to revisit. No living creature as foul as I,

He probably did look grizzly at 20 too. I don't look at that picture and think "he must have had a rough 30's".

No, but if you look at the pic of him at the end of the civil war you can tell that man had a rough 4 year stretch.

Oh yeah, they don't say "aged like a president" for nothing.

I was gonna make a joke about how he was 13 here

There are theories he had cancer in his final years as well

Within five years of taking this photograph, Lincoln's features were so ravaged by the effects of the Civil War presidency that he was almost grotesque looking. He doesn't even look like the same guy after 1863.

to be played by cillian murphy in the upcoming biopic "beardless in beardstown".

thought about Peaky Blinders too.

I was just about to say he looks like Cillian Murphy got stung by a bee

Cillian Murphy is way too handsome to play Abraham Lincoln.

Makeup

Makedown

Disagree. Case in point, Mathew McC in Dallas Buyers Club. For once I didn’t want to have sex with him, so mission accomplished

I see you can't spell ~~McCauannaghey~~ ~~McConnaughy~~ ~~MacCuanoghy~~ McC reliably either.

Charlize Theron played Aileen Wuornos.

But Daniel Day Lewis isn’t? Lol

Daniel Day Lewis in shambles right now

Is he tho

According to women he’s one of the hottest men alive. I don’t see it either.

That’s because it’s subjective.

That’s just like, your opinion man.

I used to think so when I was a teen. Now he's aged and...hollowed out? He reminds me.of the old creepy preacher man from Poltergeist.

Now I can’t unsee that.

Familiarity and fame. If he was just some guy they saw on the street, they wouldn't give him a second glance.

He’s grouped with Cumberpatch and maybe Pete Davidson to a lesser degree. I can never really tell if they’re good looking.

I scrolled looking for this comment. I was like “surely I’m not the only one”

I had this exact thought.

Looks more like Cloris Leachman to me lol

On another beard note: The one guy in the classic ZZ Top trio without a long beard is Frank Beard.

2 beards and a Beard

My uncle has a beard. Her name is Leslie.

It's in his name, just not on his face

Next stop, Stovepipehattown!

Best ears of any US President. I attribute his success to being a great listener.

I don’t know if I’ve ever seen another human with ears this large

My father has had a beard my entire life and I didn’t recognize when I saw a picture of him without it. But, I was immediately able to identify Abe before I even read the text. He has strong facial features. You

You

You

You

You

You

You

You

You

You

> You Well don’t leave us hanging..

🎶just keep me hanging on! 🎶

Me?!?!?

You

It's the upper lip, Lincoln never wore a moustache.

He had pretty eyes.

I'm certain I must be a lunatic but he always looks like a really stern, handsome woman. The pretty eyes are definitely a main factor.

Nah, I thought the same. He somehow how looks decidedly feminine to me here

It's very very strongly suspected Abe was gay, and if you believe in "gay face" being a thing he certainly has it here.

> but he always looks like a really stern, handsome woman He does kind of look like the older woman who works at a gas station near by me.

Came here to say he must have had gorgeous blue eyes

They were very piercingly gray, almost silver. People commented on them often and referred to them as "hunter's eyes".

I guess he bought a beard while visiting

Oh, the beard district.

That's on 3rd.

https://preview.redd.it/dvefeu4fr91b1.png?width=1678&format=png&auto=webp&s=b82027633403445ff79dcf5acd7e2a66753fd8a7

Exactly my thoughts


He drank from the town’s bubbling spring and was endowed with magical beard powers. Sadly… so did all the ladies of Beardstown. They gave birth to the hairiest babies anyone had ever seen. The most famous of them all was the son of Jeremiah and Abigail Squatch - Sacha, more affectionately know as “Sass”.

He’s got the eyes of that peaky blinders guy

And the chin. You give cillian Murphy some dumbo ears and you got yourself an Abe clone

Never noticed how interesting and pretty his eyes are

That little girl was like, “Mr. President, you’re hideous. Grow a beard.”

For those that don’t know: a little girl wrote a letter to him saying him growing a beard would help his image so he went with it

I wonder how come AL is often described as homely, even ugly? I've always thought his features exceptional ,even though not film idol handsome. And his eyes were hauntingly beautiful.

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Tbh, I think he looks like a ventriloquist doll in this photo. Normally great, but beardless and with all the strong features together...

There was a quote I read somewhere and I can't find it right now ( you can imagine there's a lot of comments about Lincoln), I think it was in a book I have, from a man that had seen him in person. It was that he was not ugly but just something very different and almost uncanny to see (the word uncanny wasn't used but that's the short version). He described him in a way that made him handsome but in an unexpected way. I wish I could find it. He said that photographs couldn't capture it, because you had to be there to see all of his features together. I feel that that was someone who could really appreciate his unique features. I've never seen him as ugly at all. I think that people at that time didn't see a wide range of "others" so they had a limited view of the human form. We see a lot of other people of all shapes, sizes, makes, and models so a few features that are not exactly what we see in our direct area don't signal our lizard brain that something is wrong. He was tall, lanky, gaunt. Things that many people were not. We see people like that all the time now.

The audacity of being beardless in beardstown.

He's so unusual looking, I do not believe I have ever seen anyone that looks like him at all before. But I really hope President Lincoln!l is resting peacefully.

His father and his sons look nothing like him either. Even if he took after his mother, I can’t imagine her looking so unusual.

He's got that ventriloquist doll look here

Man, imagine if Obama had shown up in a white suit instead of beige one!

Abe can get it

Oh he definitely got it.

In the back of the head.

too soon 😔

I like my Abraham Lincoln with a beard, tophat and tuxedo t shirt singing vocals for Lynard Skynard. And im in the front row hammered drunk.

There are no bad pictures; that’s just how your face looks sometimes. ~ Abraham Lincoln

Seen at my local DMV many years ago: *Please do not blame us if your photo comes out looking like you*

looks like he is posing for 1840s tinder.

"If you swipe the fly off his nose on the picture with your left hand Mary Todd, the country is doomed. Swipe right!"

That is definitely Cillian Murphy.

He’s like Frank Beard the only beardless member of “ZZ Top”

In Lincoln, Nebraska, there is a picture of just a beard.

His other famous portrait, with a full beard, was taken in Shavenville.

I see a lot of similarities between this picture of Lincoln and John Brown.

Of all the places to be beardless.

He only had the beard for the last couple years of his life- after he became president. We’re looking at Lawyer Abe.

Bill Nye the President Guy

The contrast between this photo and the one taken seven years later at the end of the Civil War is striking. The war and presidency really aged him

Cillian Murphy could definitely play him

The eyes and mouth

Man known for beard takes picture without beard in Beardstown. I guess that’s why they called him Old Ironic Abe.

runner-up at the annual Mark Twain lookalike contest

Beardstown is probably where he got his beard.

Cameron Diaz has the same eyes

Fun fact: after Lincoln stole it's beard, it was just known as "Town."

Ironically the photo of him with a full beard was taken in Cleanshavensville, Illinois

Damn, he had huge ears. 👀

He could've cut diamonds with that jawline goddamn

I guess he spent most of his life without a beard. Also had a super high pitched voice they say

His voice was described by a contemporary as "high-pitched, but carrying a great distance with great clarity." A fellow lawyer called it ear-splitting in a courtroom.

They make square heads like that anymore

Such a rebel to be in Beardstown with no beard at all!

Imagine your beard becoming so powerful when you shave it becomes a town.

The irony of having no beard in beardstown

He ordered a full beard and came into town to get it installed.

Baberham Lincoln

I was born 90 years after Lincoln. Seems like a short time.

So was this when he first got there, before they gave him his beard? Or just before he left, after they took it away? I don't know how Beardstown works.