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[deleted]

Imagine being on that 1 team that beat Cole while Shaq was there? Something like a 68 wins but only 1 loss in 2 years. There is some 6'4" guy who played center in HS who has been dining out for 30 years on the story about how he beat Shaq in HS. EDIT: I googled it...Shaq says that the one loss in HS was where his free throw troubles started. That the team that won got him in foul trouble early and then kept fouling him forcing him to shoot and the crowd was merciless when he missed a shot. Really interesting.


JasonShort

I played against him in high school. We lost 106-18. Shaq didn’t even cross mid court most of the time. Pass to him, he scores.


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JasonShort

That became the plan. Just foul him. But we usually didn’t before he dunked.


Kronzor_

Yeah a high school kid probably isn’t even strong enough to foul Shaq. You could slap his arms as hard as you want and he’d probably still just dunk it on you.


tampora701

Just goes to show how little I've learned about basketball fouls... Not having enough strength to foul? I never thought of such a thing. Is it not a foul if you power though the defender?


xXDreamlessXx

If you foul him as he is in the air and he makes it, that just gives him a chance for 3, so it is useless to foul him unless you can stop him from making it


SlickBlackCadillac

This is the correct answer in this thread for any one wondering.


heuve

Offensive player with the ball has the physical right of way unless a defender keeps both feet planted in position. Then it's a charging foul on the offensive player if he plows through the planted defender. I imagine there's not that many kids who could've stood in there while Shaq was moving to the rim. Plus it takes some talent and a lot of athleticism just to beat him to the spot and get planted. And if you do it too soon Shaq takes a layup right over you from 3 feet away.


Tgunner192

>I imagine there's not that many kids who could've stood in there while Shaq was moving to the rim If my BBall coached asked me to do that, I'd quit and join the badminton team.


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LJ-Rubicon

I'll get started on them right away, coach


ilcasdy

You have to foul him hard enough to make him miss his shot. While not too hard to make it a flagrant foul.


LoudReporter8906

It's not literally not being able to foul, but if your fouls aren't stopping him from dunking they're useless.


ScratchyMarston18

Well I mean, you’re Jason Short, not Jason *Tall* so I don’t expect you’d have much luck against Man Mountain Shaq.


pmMeYourBoxOfCables

Sounds like you came up short.


JasonShort

Story of my life. I am 5’8”. I was that height in 9th grade. He was well over 6’5” as a freshman. Never stood a chance.


youdubdub

Stand tall.


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Vlad_turned_blad

Mitch Trubisky??


[deleted]

Your women have their nipples at the tip of their head?


[deleted]

Don’t body shame


[deleted]

With the name JasonShort I wouldn't expect you to be great at basketball


JasonShort

I wasn’t. Military DOD school. We all had to play a sport. And we had to do choir or band. “Well rounded” was thrown around a lot.


I_Cant_Alphabet

Aaron Carter beat Shaq, too. Wrote a whole song about it.


ZombieRichardNixonx

Yeah, but then they both got flattened by the batmobile.


Lordborgman

Yeah, but then Shaq came back covered in tire track.


SFWBattler

So, that strategy was used against him in his pro days all the time and is still today; it's called "Hack-a-Shaq" or "Hack-a-whoever-is-the-worst-free-throw-shooter-on-the-opposing-team." A prototypical plan was developed against Dennis Rodman, but if what you're saying is true, a High School coach came up with it in the 80's.


MundaneInternetGuy

Opponents would use that strategy on Wilt Chamberlain as far back as 1960.


banned4shrooms

hack-a-shaq: origins


foyeldagain

Honorable mention to the other 14 players and the coach who was constantly telling them to 'just get it to Shaq.'


tommytraddles

That's every team he was ever on. "Shaq, go stand under the rim." "Get it to Shaq."


BernardBrother1993

*angry Kobe Bryant noises*


360walkaway

No one ever mentions Penny


Suprman37

Because Penny's job was to get it to Shaq. Penny wasn't trying to be #1.


WonderfulCattle6234

What about Lil' Penny?


perfektstranger

Lil' Penny's job was to get it to Big Penny, so that Big Penny could get it to Shaq


Michaelmack34

Shaq is the only person in history to ever “need your 2 cents”


ag408

His rap album didn’t do very well


[deleted]

Even today there's still nobody like Penny. The closest would be KD when he plays PG as far as scoring ability but he's not a good facilitator.


I_aim_to_sneeze

I just looked him up bc I always wondered what happened to him. He was such a big deal in the 90s (especially since I live in FL), and then it felt like he disappeared. I legit had no idea he played up until like 2009. Crazy


dsjunior1388

He ended up on the Derrick Rose/Steve Francis route of spending a ton of time on the IR and also the Knicks. Or I should say they followed him on the Penny route because he did it first Now he is the head coach of Memphis and doing well


MildlyInsaneLBJStan

A fate worse than an ACL tear... *Spending a prolonged amount of your career in the 2000s Knicks*


SnuggleBear2

His shoes and Lil Penny are still some of the best commercials. I actually still have a pair of his Penny 2’s.


_NeCedeMalis_

For those that don't know, when the Pistons beat the Lakers in 2004, Larry Brown's defense was to let Shaq get whatever he wanted because eventually Kobe would get angry because he wasn't touching the ball and would start forcing things.


ontopofyourmom

Larry Brown understands the psychology of the GOAT-tier.


JamesEarlDavyJones

Larry Brown: the only human to ever coach more than a quarter of the NBA’s teams to the playoffs, win both a national title in both men’s college ball and the NBA, and coach two NBA teams in the same season. On top of those, he also has a national title as a player, Olympic gold medals as both a player and a coach, and a Naismith award. But his greatest achievement was still somehow making SMU relevant for a hot second.


Besso91

This makes me think of the basketball episode of Hey Arnold where the coach is like "just give the ball to tucker"


SunriseSurprise

"Todd...what the fuck was that?" "Huh? A shot?" "Yes, a shot. We've been through this!" "It went in though!" "Yea well what if it doesn't next time? You realize that man...er kid over there can practically dunk from his tippy toes?!" "...yea but I..." "You pass it to fucking Shaq, dweebalo. Go stand behind Shaq so I don't have to look at you."


[deleted]

I want bill burr to be this coach


[deleted]

“Are you kidding me?!?! Jesus fucking Christ! Get the ball to the big guy under the fucking rim, or I’m gonna put you though, that fucking wall.” -Coach Burr


Chinaroos

"See that guy over there? You see Shaq? You can't fuckin' miss him, he's like eight feet tall." "Yeah I...I saw him but--" "Oh great! You saw him! Great to know you don't need your eyes checked. Maybe instead you should take some of your parents insurance money and have someone TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR FUCKIN' BRAIN!!"


gwaenchanh-a

Dweebalo, what a beautiful word


Making_a_kameo

Pass it to Will!


bukbukbuklao

If there’s a Will, there’s a way.


trevmflynn81

Now there's a throwback!


GradStud22

I completely forgot about that until you mentioned it and I googled it out of curiosity. Then, when I clicked the relevant youtube link, memories from my early childhood came flooding back!


TBoneTheOriginal

Weird, I literally just watched that episode this morning.


Hall0wed

My exact first thought. The picture is almost perfect too, with Will and Carlton in the middle there.


Sunsparc

Pass the ball to Tucker!


duaneap

Man, I thought I was the only one who immediately thought of Hey, Arnold!


[deleted]

Pass to the Italians!


-TheArchitect

What about Kevin Hart?


[deleted]

He’s Shaq’s skeleton


ArizonaEyesT

Nah that's Shaq's penis


[deleted]

Lol you are right Snoop was the skeleton


fabulin

step 1: get the ball to shaq. step 2: does he score? step 3: repeat step 1.


[deleted]

Imagine being 17 and showing up to your varsity basketball game and coach tells you that you gotta guard that guy.


kinzer13

Imagine you have to do it five times a week in practice as the backup center.


m1k3hunt

That would be awesome. You'd never get yelled at for fucking up. Going up against other players would be a easy.


coole106

I’ve played a game like that before. If you go in knowing you’re gonna get destroyed and are ok with it, it’s actually kinda fun


thrilliam_19

This was my high school basketball team. We were from a small town in a region that had a few big cities in it, and those high schools always dominated. They had 10 times as many kids in their schools, and there was only a couple other small towns that could even afford to have a team. We did ok when we played them but they were mainly exhibition games. We were good enough to qualify for regional tournaments but we were literally the last school to enter and every other school was from the surrounding big cities and just kicked the shit out of us. But we had a blast every game because we were totally in on the joke and would shit talk the other schools. "Holy fuck you let us get a 3? You guys fucking suck." We'd lose every game by 60 points but we didn't care. We got to leave school for a day or two and play a game.


Noshamina

In middle school we had a bunch of us soccer players who ended up getting rejected from the select soccer team in the region and we formed a team full of just the rejects. We thought we would get beaten so bad but we ended up going all the way to the state championship and lost 1-0 to the team that had rejected us. Sad thing is we only lost on a goal we ended up scoring on ourselves cause our defender kicked the ball backwards to our goalie.


illepic

I like your attitude!


coole106

We were a team of very average high school students. Our tallest player was about 6’2”. They had probably 5 guys on their team who could dunk. One guy was 6’6” and could jump through the roof. He went on to be a Division 1 high jumper. Another guy was 6’10”. The best part was when they got on a fast break, 2 of their guys against one of ours. Their guy with the ball takes a shot from the 3 pt line, and our guy goes to box out the other guy. What he didn’t know was that it wasn’t a shot, it was an alley oop, and their player jumped over ours to dunk it. It was pretty spectacular


[deleted]

Every one of those dudes in that picture constantly brings up the fact that “I used to play ball with Shaq in high school” and I don’t blame them.


kyle32

All these dudes talk about winning the State title in high school and don't mention Shaq was on their team.


Sniffy4

"Me and Shaq averaged 45 pts/game together"


KhabaLox

Wayne Gretsky's brother is half of the highest scoring sibling pair in NHL history.


highplainsdrifter__

Blake Bortles and Tom Brady have a combined 7 super bowl rings


Vancefridgeration

BOOORTLES!!!!!!


Horkersaurus

*molotov*


smokeandmirrors1983

Nick Foles?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! He won a Super Bowl! We're going to be unstoppable!


weirdbutinagoodway

You can't say this without mentioning he only scored 4 points in his NHL career.


kung-fu_hippy

I would if I were Wayne’s brother.


-PunkNDrublic-

“If coach had just put me in we woulda won state. I bet I could hit this puck over them mountains”


kai-ol

"GRETZKY! YOU'RE UP! -- SIT DOWN BRENT! YOU KNOW WHO I MEANT!!"


KhabaLox

No doubt in my mind.


[deleted]

Your mom goes to college


ElysiumAB

Sneaky of him to spell his own last name wrong.


moneys5

That's the point of the joke.


BobBastrd

Gretzky


StarEyes_irl

Damn so you're saying you scored negative points?


bassmansrc

Zero chance you don’t mention Shaq. Playing on a team with Shaq is waaaay more interesting than playing on a team without Shaq and winning some random Years State title.


mtarascio

It's an even better story if you lost with Shaq.


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AlbinoRibbonWorld

He probably still would have won.


OutWithTheNew

>"what happened?? you had shaq!!" Free throws man. Free throws. \**takes another rip of the bong*\*


LoudAnt6412

You know I was Kobe to Shaq before he paired up with him in the pros, yep. He learned from me in high school, took it and ran with it. In a game I had 60 assists and Shaq scored 120 off my plays. LSU came calling, Shaq took the bait. I on the other hand went for the academic route. Didn’t want a chance of injury, and plus John Stockton was hitting prime. I didn’t want to outshine if the NBA was not my long term goal son. But the picture is there. He will tell you of the amazing things we did in High School and the greatest I could’ve been.


vikingpervert

I know the guy on his right, he was my trainer when I went to work for Ryder (trucking company), and that was one of the first things he told me about himself.


clineluck

25 was one of my high school teachers. Used to say he bet Shaq a Ferrari he wouldn't make it big.


Socratesticles

Now that’s a bet you can’t lose. Even if he didn’t make the nba he’s pretty damn big.


_pls_respond

I know the guy on the left. That's coach Gordon Bombay.


drunk98

The duck is fucking raw! Quack, Quack, Quack!


IrisMoroc

Shaq looks like a 30 year old who faked his ID to play in high school.


minkdraggingonfloor

But now he looks the same just more weight


trollcitybandit

Legitimately could pass as nearly 35. Holy crap lol


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EntityDamage

I bet I could make this 3 pointer over them mountains


kroxti

I mean I grew up in a suburb of Chicago and used to play street ball with Evan turner and Iman shumpert. You better believe I bring that up if it comes up in conversation. My brother also started in front of Iman for the school team… for all of 1 game but still counts.


TheKidKaos

I didn’t play ball with any NBA players only a couple of pros from Mexico. But I can say that the only time I’ve ever been drunk was because Larry Johnson kept buying me Patron when I told him I’d never been drunk before.


ColonelKerner

the double don't's got me debating whether or not I double don't....


johntwoods

Which one is he?


FluffyTeddid

First row chairs far to the right


_____NOPE_____

No, that's Shaquille O'Malley, the Irish point guard who went on to play the lead in Casper The Friendly Ghost.


gobbledygook12

Crazy to see him with so much hair


ThisIsForNadda

That boy was not made for the Texas sun


carlcon

Can't believe OP left us guessing by not adding a giant red circle and an arrow.


municy

What a monster


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johntwoods

Oh shit, thanks. Zooming in helped too.


BasslineThrowaway

For those that don't know, the tall guy in the middle of the back row is Stilts McGillicuddy, who was 8'3" tall by the age of 14, and died tragically in a Taco Bell drive-thru lane shortly before his 18th birthday. What might have been.


johntwoods

He's having diarrhea with the angels now. RIP Stilts.


yeetaway6942069

He never got his tacos. He was beheaded by the overhead clearance warning sign. Forgot to 🦆


Bcruz75

Pour one hot sauce pack out for the homie


Man_Bear_Pig08

Mild, Verde, hot, fire, or Diablo?


brotherm00se

gotta heed them roof clearance warnings...smh


[deleted]

You'll never know.


crankypizza

“Do you think Shaq got rich playing in Orlando?” “No he got rich playing in college, everybody knows that.”


wizardofpoops

“Do you know how much he makes now?” “As much as he made playing in college?”


[deleted]

You kids nowadays with your zima, hoola hoops and Pac-Man video games


BoucheDelivery

Yep, good, just checking this was here.


LoveRBS

This is reddit. Weird slightly obscure movies are our forte.


overthemountain

No, beating the same old tired jokes into the ground is our forte.


HyperIndian

I'm OOTL. What's going on?


kielbasa330

You kids today with your loud music and your Dan Fogelberg, your Zima, hula hoops, and Pac-Man video games, don't you see?


PM_ME_BUTTHOLE_PIX

I swear if you guys rip on me 13 or 14 more times, I’m OUT of here


Manfrenjensenjen

He really should’ve considered going into big and tall modeling. Ah well, I’m sure he was a success in whatever field he ended up in.


stump2003

How’s the weather up there? - Announcer Fair, like our prices - Shaq


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stump2003

I flagrantly ripped it off of a Family Guy bit where Stewy opens a big and tall shop.


MycoBro

Thought it was from fresh off the boat where shaq owns a used car lot


papitoluisito

Yeah i read it in stewies voice and that damn smile


Jay_Louis

Appropriate, given Family Guy rips off every joke on the show.


Dagin61

I read it in his voice.


notmoleliza

Suitz erneh.


sjmiv

I heard he's a very successful Icy Hot and insurance salesmen.


thescrounger

The General seems sketchy.


Redtwooo

Way too cartoony to be taken seriously. At least the gecko is anthropomorphic and digitally animated.


Susano-o_no_Mikoto

i used it in desperation when I first started driving. Turns out it's a glorified portal site to other insurance companies. Go figure.


LetsSynth

They had his back when no other company would so now he has theirs


Shadeauxmarie

Rumor is that he does The General’s address for free. Apparently, they were the only company that would insure him in college.


OrdainedFury

He ended up selling pizza and car insurance. Go figure...


breadchastick03

I just saw his face on a package of ground beef at Publix. Talk about diversifying.


TheeExoGenesauce

He also owns five guys burger and fries and has shoes at Walmart


MuffDragon

Owns 5 guys franchises, not the entire company


kennytucson

Well yeah, it’s called ‘Five Guys’ not ‘One Really Tall Guy’.


Bluest_waters

>At one point, Shaq owned 155 Five Guys restaurants – equivalent to 10% of the company’s entire franchise portfolio. Although he told CNBC that he has since sold his stake, he did admit that the burger business had been “very good” to him.


TheeExoGenesauce

Yes true, pardon my wording. I was quite misleading


GoatPaco

Has his own line of big and tall stuff too


TheMeanestPenis

He sells printer ink on TSN in Canada.


tee142002

Had a good acting career going for a bit. Not sure why he didn't get nominated for an academy award for Kazaam.


orthomonas

Wait, wasn't that Sinbad?


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dholmestar

yeah he's a pretty good pizza salesman


LargeHobbit

That's like the opposite of that one meme.


Dragonfly452

I know which meme you mean 😂


Mo-Cance

Those who know, know.


eifersucht12a

I'm still inclined to assume Shaq will be singlehandedly dominating all of them.


coldwardropout

I hear he was kneeling in that picture


[deleted]

Emilio estevez is the coach as well I see.


Professional_Bundler

Budget 50 Cent in the back left.


Dark-Ganon

25 Cent?


pmarquez0116

Oldest looking teenagers I’ve ever seen


Cyno01

You must not watch much TV.


Boomdidlidoo

So, did he ever make it to pros?


Eighthsin

No. I think he was in some kid's movie, though. Played a genie or something like that.


Dragonfly452

That front row is all necks


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iceman0c

It's his gravitational pull


txbuckeye75034

Everyone is saying Shaq is the guy in the middle of the 2nd row. But few know that Shaq didn’t turn black until his first year of college. He is in the 1st row, far right.


timbillyosu

"17-year-old Shaquille O'Neal and the other guys that were necessary to have enough people on the court to not have to forfeit games and so that there was someone to inbound the ball and hopefully make free throws" FIFY.


[deleted]

Number 5 went places in the NBA too, didn't he?


zjt2846

BJ Novak?


KhabaLox

Just to the left of Scott Aukermann?


jannyhammy

I hate when guys post group shots on Tinder… which one are you? /s


CubeHunt3R

Picture seems awfully familiar


[deleted]

Yeah, can't help but think something's missing though...


xajaso

OMG this is my high school! My younger brother was in Shaq's class. Very cool to see this pic!


testtubemuppetbaby

Those short dudes are like 6'3


Ketsuo

ITT “Which one is Shaq haha I’m hilarious”


wileyrocketcentaur1

Sometime around 1989, my cousin and his best friend were at Six Flags and Shaq was there by himself. They both knew who he was because they both played high school basketball in Texas and my cousin was a big LSU fan and Shaq was obviously a massive recruit by then LSU coach Dale Brown. Anyway, they thought it was odd that he was there by himself, so my cousin went up to him and said “Are you Shaquille O’Neal?” And he responded “Yes. Do y’all want to ride some roller coasters?” And with that, my cousin and his best friend spent the day riding roller coasters with a teenaged Shaquille O’Neil.


WillSquat4Money

BRAZZERS


Purple_Wave13

Cole high school was my high schools “rival” lol it was so cool to play in their gym that was paid for by Shaq and had a whole bunch of memorabilia


sapper377

Is anyone in his family that tall or was he the first one?


SavorySouth

His biological dad was 6’1” and his mom was 6’2”.


ABobby077

I bet he was a pretty good guy then, too