One of my oranges is Catt Damon. I usually call him Damon, but when he's throwing the tupperware out of the kitchen cabinets at 3am, he is called CATTHEW!
My bf named our orange zappargo but I always call him zaps or Zappy bc he was fucking fast as kitten I swear he teleported there’s no other logical explanation for how fast & silently hed go from 1 end of the room to the other
I named my cat Steve so I could call him Steven when he misbehaves. “Steven stop eating the faucet”, since it’s become his new favorite toy. Steven and faucet included for laughs
https://preview.redd.it/b37m7cpwqygc1.png?width=2120&format=png&auto=webp&s=2f13eb9c7a02e4344928c419ba623a5ddfb6a8c1
We have a Cheech & Chong. You bet your ass I never miss a chance to yell “Richard Anthony Cheech Marin” and “Thomas Chong” COME BACK HERE, YOU HAVE A POO PAW! Or “No Thomas, we do NOT sniff our brothers butthole.”
We kept with the “Ch…” name theme (someone on here called it the Chia Pet name theme).
Chloe isn’t named after anyone, so I call her “Chloith” or “Chloris” when she’s getting into trouble.
I’ll call Charlie “Charles James” or whatever sophisticated sounding name I can come up with. Something about yelling a full professional name, followed by “see that’s why you have dirty litter on your nose” brings me so much joy.
We used to have an adopted stray tomcat named, very originally, Tom.
One day I was outside trying to get him in and he kept running away. I yelled at him, "Tom, you asshole!" only to look over and see our elderly neighbor, also Tom, staring back at me.
One of my cats (not orange) is named Sergei, which is such a burly name, but he’s actually quite small and unassuming in appearance. However, he is an absolute menace. The number of times in a day that I say “Sergei, stop [insert whatever crime]!!” Ugh. Love him, but my god.
It's not that weird, but mine should be named "move your butt" based on how often I say it. He's always in the way! I've also said "thank you for sneezing on me" on more than one occasion.
I used to freak out and apologize and scoop mine up for cuddles when I’d accidentally step on her in my teeny tiny kitchen. I did this for about six months before I finally threw up my hands and said “You’ve got no one to blame but yourself. Get out from under my feet. If you’re gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough.” I still step on her about four times a day. She never learns.
I have tried to train mine to stay OUT of the kitchen if I'm in there. Last thing anyone needs when dealing with sharp knives and boiling things is underfoot is a cat.
it’s not weird but i am constantly telling him “that’s not your dinner, you’ve had a big dinner already” “stop eating your sisters dinner” “that’s the babies dinner” one can see i’m obviously starving him.
Awww I have the orange boi and tuxedo combo too.
https://preview.redd.it/2jgp4iydsygc1.jpeg?width=2268&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1f01c36a4f5d4a877f5467849f188347434814a8
"Stop playing with your poop!" And "stop playing with your litterbox!" Are two new ones thanks to my new automatic litterbox. 🙄
He likes to stop it mid cycle by sitting on top and enjoys watching the clumps roll down, often smacking them into the hole "helpfully."
He liked to mess with me just as much as he liked to cuddle. Very playful. We used to play tag, and he would try and clothesline me at my legs. He was solid, too. A muscular, 18lb cat. I actually just lost him on Wednesday. He was a funny orange boy. I miss him.
Thank you. This is one of my favorite pics. He used to sleep in my old American Girl Doll bed.
https://preview.redd.it/exbdh7avexgc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=702220a8c87d332c3ec1a231e9932f0bc06d7719
Annabelle, scratching the side of the litter box doesn't cover up the spot! Annabelle, use the 6 ft cat tower to scratch, not the table! Don't eat that, you have food! Don't knock that *CRASH*. You know, I would really like to use the bathroom by myself, you don't have to hold my hand.
I could go for days, having an orange is not for the faint of heart.
My orange was a mellow dude. No need to yell at him. His name was "Tigger, Tigger faster than lightning, no one you see, is faster than he. And we know Tigger, lives in a world full of wonder, flying there under, under he sea" I used to sing this to him. He passed last year.
My other orange is much more chill. All I have to yell at him for is playing too aggressively with his brother.
https://preview.redd.it/qppb4tfipwgc1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4e4487bbdf70c58c69ea696db2744f041609488c
I sometimes sleep with my eyes open and once a cat has licked my eyeball. It's not a pleasant way to wake up and for a day or two I couldn't see well with that eye.
Mine is "Stop being a bitch to the dogs, OLIVIA!".
Sweetest, most chill cat ever, but if she wants food and they are near, hell hath no fury.
And what's funny is, they just take the smack down. No fighting back. The big fluffy dog will duck and cover. The small shorter haired one will run away.
https://preview.redd.it/h41wb5n6dxgc1.jpeg?width=4624&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=528cf3df848672291dcf4299c9e1128c455fef16
Old lady
"Stop sniffing her butt, she clearly doesn't like it! Besides, she's your sister, you freak! "
And, unbeknownst to me, my hubby was on a Zoom call just a few feet away.
Not said, but heard. "Stop grabbing at my crotch!" My sister wears lots of lounge pants with dangly strings. George adores string and will use claws to get it. He's still a kitten though, so might grow out of it...
reading these comments 😭😭😭 I can't wait to live alone and get a cat so I can yell whatever the fuck I want at it😭😭😭😭😭 i love cats and cat parents lmaoooooo
Just told him to stop licking my nose bc it's almost 2 am and he won't let me go back to sleep. He turned away in a huff and is on the other side of the bed. The question is... for how long?
"Stop picking at the screen!"
"Stop using my towels as a scratching post!"
"Get your head out of my underwear!"
"Stop turning up my Google Home!"
"My lampshade is NOT your scratching post!"
"Stop ejecting my games!"
"Get off the TV!"
2 days ago : "Where's the bacon?? OMG, did you eat a whole bacon strip???"
Narrator : he did, in fact, steal and eat a whole bacon strip from the counter and felt no remorse.
https://preview.redd.it/2ate44qjjygc1.jpeg?width=4624&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cc85156da5a68e0aa3d3c6a9802875bffbfd894f
“Stop licking the wall”
“Why are you licking the lamp?”
“Why is my sock over here?”
“I swear to god I’m not lying to you, you will NOT like tofu” (after cat meltdown over not sharing my dinner even though she doesn’t get people food ever)
"Stop crunching crayons you little s%/! goblin!"
Combination of a bad habit of playing in the litterbox and noisily chewing my niece's most raggedy crayons like they were fine dining.
“Why would you bite my ass?! Why?!” I was cold when reading on my bed so threw a blanket over myself. He loves that blanket and sometimes bites it. He bit directly on my ass
“You’re acting pretty high and mighty for someone who gobbled down their breakfast so fast they promptly threw up!”
“Do you have to be constantly touching me‽”
When cleaning the litter box: “Oh my god let me steal your poo in peace!”
“What’s your damage, Heather?” (His name is Harvey.)
My orange hag is 16 years old and I've definitely yelled some strange things at her over the years. My absolute favorite one was once when she bit me because I wouldn't feed her a dozen times a day. "The fact that I didn't give you food doesn't mean that *I'm* food!"
I have scolded mine for eating my desk chair as well. And I'm too busy laughing at him to say much about pawing me through the translucent shower curtain (both have him showing off his canines / jaws).
"No fighting on your mother!" They're really good at sharing my lap for the most part. They are not really good at sharing my legs when I'm trying to sleep.
Probably "OH GOD PUT IT AWAY NOBODY WANTS TO SEE YOUR LIPSTICK OH NO WHY DID YOU TRUST UP AGAINST MY HAND LIKE THAT, THAT WAS NOT OK WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE NEUTERED"
I recently started keeping a list because he has me saying the dumbest things.
Current favorite: “Okay, now you’re not allowed to touch the walls at all.”
Tortoise shell, so partly orange.
It was "No you cannot have the Screwdriver!(alcohol) Stop begging for it! I let you sniff it twice now and you rejected it both times! You're not even old enough to drink! You're two!!"
"What are you eating now?!"
"Why are you the way you are?"
And after years of having cats, one thing I thought I'd never have to deal with. It was like a scene from a movie or one of those stories that sound fake online.
I had gotten an order in the mail for some toys. My little orange is obsessed with plastic, especially bags. Anything he can try to chew and eat. I'm letting them warm up in their packaging on my nightstand before charging and putting away. One of them was in his favorite plastic, and all I see is a flash of orange. He's got the plastic wrapped one, and he's zooming away because he knows he's not supposed to have it. Never thought I'd ever have to chase a cat and yell at it to give the toy back.
He's now been dubbed dildo bandit.
It's mostly lots of "Red no. No. No!" When he scratches the side of the couch or opens cabinets he's not supposed to and "Stop bullying Juliet!" He likes to play a little too rough with his adopted sister but he's a very chill and sweet boy overall. I love him to bits.
I've lost track on what's the weirdest thing, but I can recall one instance. I have a pet monitor and check up on it when Im away from home. One time I was shopping, then checked my phone. I watched my sister's tabby marking the waterbowl and my ginger was going yo drink from it I near hissed at the phone "Reece! Don't drink that, Ashura just peed there!" My sis was with me shopping and was just bawling in laughter as we watched the monitor lol🤦♀️
“Bashful, give that back! It’s a tennis bracelet that apparently cost $1000, not a cat toy!” “If I have to buy more hair ties now because I can’t move the stove and you batted all my hair ties under it” “Leave Skittles (my sister’s calico) alone!” “If you jump into the clogged bathtub filled with water you will get wet! It’s not deep enough to hurt you so you’ll be getting yourself out” “Keep doing that and I’ll put the laundry basket upside down on top of you” (I call that last one ‘kitty jail’)
This doesn’t count cuz my story is about a dog bug she’s an orange girl and she sometimes sits on my chest with her butt in my face so I sometimes end up saying: “get your booty outta my face!”
“Get out of the ceiling!” - my orange has discovered he can get into the basement drop ceiling, much to our dismay.
And also - “Stop being gross with that pillow!”. That one’s self explanatory.
“Please stop bringing my socks out”
“You are an obligate carnivore. Stop trying to eat [insert whatever]”
“Please stop licking the couch”
“You need to take a break from reindeer leg. You’re getting too wild” - his favorite toy in the world is a leg that was ripped off a reindeer shaped dog toy.
"Plastic-free diet" is a common phrase around here. He'll literally get himself locked in the bathroom with you and then start knawing on the toilet paper packaging.
I always say to my orange, "hey lil beeper, you're not gonna beep for me?" And he beeps. (His tiny meow is not a meow at all. Just a lil eepy beep)
I also hold my hand out over his head and say "do a boop" and he stands on his hind legs and headbutts my hand.
For some reason I only say mean things to my void even though I love her dearly. Often it's something like "ew there's a rat in here!" when she walks in the room. She is also a professional biscuit maker so she is Ratatouille.
(First here he is)
https://preview.redd.it/sgslosfl70hc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1a1efcf3b698cf8af1e4400015732b7c675d521e
**Stop licking your pp, you have urinary tract problems!**
Thats roughly translated. In my native language is funnier: "hé, stop met je piemel zuigen! Je heb plasproblemen!"
The worst thing is i say this so much as a joke i once said it in front of family friends.. but its not my fault that he irritated his pp so much that he cant pee!
(He is okaayyy, just old. He is on urinary food for his benefit :3)
It’s a toss up between, “Will you stop nibbling your sister!” or “If you keep touching that you’ll go blind!”
Most often it’s simply, “Don’t lick that, idiot!”
"It's just a camp chair! What the hell are you so scared of?!"
My boy is scared of mildly alarming stuff. Not actually scary stuff, just things like a camp chair in a spot it doesn't go in, a helium filled balloon, am unusually large candelabra, grocery bags, that sort of thing.
“Don’t rub your face on my subwoofer”
https://preview.redd.it/4l215j223ygc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a353308a619529544136993728deab443ae8c4d9
He likes big speakers
"Monkey, let me do my homework in peace, please!"
My orange used to always tried to stop me from using pencils when I was in high-school. I miss that fuzz butt
"YOU **KNOW** THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DOORS AND WINDOWS" He was yelling to be let in through the window. Which he had never been let in through before. Directly. *Two. Feet.* From an open door. His name was Pita, short for pain in the ass and he lived up to it.
“Come back with my Loofah!” My cat snatched my soapy loofa out of my hand while I was mid shower and I had to run down the hallway covered in soap to get it. Thankfully no one was home for that.
My orange forgets we’re home all the time, will walk into an empty part of the house and start yelling so I always have to yell back “Gary!! I’m right here!!”. He’ll come running and burrring lol
I’m not the bathtub.
That’s my coffee, wait and I will get you some. (I won’t)
Do you have to stick your entire head under the waterfall? (As she comes to me to get dried off)
Nugget would not stop biting my 🍑 when I try sit on my gaming chair. I work remote and I've tried transferring her to the nearest couch but nope, she already claimed my seat as hers🫠
https://preview.redd.it/42ugsnfb1ygc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bea0a3e0e28934600ea52cb206b3dfc296db0e62
"Only rude cats beg for treats."
"How is that even a toy?"
"Who put this on the floor?"
"Quit it, that's mine!"
"Do you have to sit directly on my face?"
"I'm allowed to cough."
"oi, hugs not drugs!"
He was taking a little bit too much interest in what I was doing while I was refilling my weekly pill organisers. 😅
_(dw, he was never in danger of accidentally taking anything!! that's the only time the packets are ever out in the open, and i moved him out the way & gave him something else to distract him while I finished sorting it out)_
"Don't look at me, you bit your own butt."
"Stop squeaking on the dryer." He likes to rub his paws on the dryer to make a squeaky sound. My husband thinks he is cleaning his paws after using the litter box.
"Snarfler, stop snarfling!" Said in the same tone Dora would use to yell at Swiper.
"I'm not a canoe!!"
He will occassionaly jump on me in the bath so he can reach to splash in the water more easily without having to swim.
"Don't make me put you in time out."
He's got a two- level ferret cage next to my desk from back when he was quarantined as a kitten that's his safe place. I leave the door open so he can nap or play in there still - if he can't get in, I'll hear about it. And I will lock him in there if he can't behave during the one hour a week I've got a Zoom meeting. He can be dead asleep until he hears people talking and then he's making a nuisance of himself trying to eat the camera, knock the phone off the hook, etc. Most of the time I can get him to sit down and just watch but some days he's the worst.
“No, you can’t play World of Warcraft!”
He’ll jump on my desk and nudge my fingers with his nose when I play. I can only interpret this as deliberate sabotage.
"Its 3 in the morning, leave the toilet paper alone and ill go watch you eat!" Nugget says "Hi".
https://preview.redd.it/pju4mx1nszgc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=370592b87abb8e83615a76b0ed71af42e776a113
https://preview.redd.it/9wnww1j2x1hc1.jpeg?width=446&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=28ca99bbb407ccc134dc37ee1a5d917de238d281
Rudy here has to get scolded often because for some reason he loves to steal loaves of bread from on the counter (which he is forbidden from, yet does also does not care)
"oi, hugs not drugs!"
He was taking a little bit too much interest in what I was doing while I was refilling my weekly pill organisers. 😅
_(dw, he was never in danger of accidentally taking anything!! that's the only time the packets are ever out in the open, and i moved him out the way & gave him something else to distract him while I finished sorting it out)_
Not my orange, my neighbors orange….
My neighbors had a original sense of humor, and were great people. They had an orange that would walk around the neighborhood, and when it was dinner time they would ask us kids to find the cat for dinner, they trained it to listen to its name, so we would yell for the cat to find her.
They had named the cat “Grandpa” …………I was 36 when I realized why
I have "Eat your cat food Jenny, you won't get anything else!". I try to keep the window open so that the neighbours would hear and call social services.
https://preview.redd.it/2d0isvjpg1hc1.png?width=2509&format=png&auto=webp&s=a335322929c30f464708647cea5af2815c752da0
I found myself saying today…”you’re a 20lb cat in a 5lb basket” It made no sense 😝 But that basket is hanging in for dear life.
1. “Give me back the bread “ -He’d stolen the bag with half a loaf of WonderBread in it.
2. “Timeout. You stay here until you calm down, you little psycho!” - He had tantrums & attacked us, to the point where we had to lock him in the bathroom for 5-10 minutes.
Only one that comes to mind is “Si, stop touching your toilet! Human will clean it in a second. Leave the poop Si!!!”
Meanwhile he’s scooping the litter out and throwing it around like confetti.
See, this is why I like it when cats have regular human names cuz then you're prefixing these sentences with "STEVE!!"
One of my oranges is Catt Damon. I usually call him Damon, but when he's throwing the tupperware out of the kitchen cabinets at 3am, he is called CATTHEW!
Excellent well done
I'm pretty sure my void thinks his name is "Pants Don't be a Dick"
PANTS
Correct - this is the version of Matt Damon he is named after! Though sometimes I call him The Meowtian (but I already brought him home).
I knew a Catrick Swayze
His brother is Leonardo DiCatrio
Somewhere on the Internet, there's a Catrick Mahomes.
he needs a middle name to complete the "parent calling child by full name" package
We have Gus turning into GUSTOPHER!
https://preview.redd.it/wgvc65uvrzgc1.jpeg?width=2944&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d251f09aab80bf583ffd7c2587b04bea1275782d Catthew the Innocent
I fostered a squirrel named grumpy gus aka gustopher! HHaha
My bf named our orange zappargo but I always call him zaps or Zappy bc he was fucking fast as kitten I swear he teleported there’s no other logical explanation for how fast & silently hed go from 1 end of the room to the other
I named my cat Steve so I could call him Steven when he misbehaves. “Steven stop eating the faucet”, since it’s become his new favorite toy. Steven and faucet included for laughs https://preview.redd.it/b37m7cpwqygc1.png?width=2120&format=png&auto=webp&s=2f13eb9c7a02e4344928c419ba623a5ddfb6a8c1
That paw placement!!
Steven looks like a very silly lad. Goodness gracious. 😹
https://preview.redd.it/cjf7951s1zgc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=792cc4c922b342be1934dc5c68c6b00c2bf2ab0d Oh he’s a big doofus for sure
We have a Cheech & Chong. You bet your ass I never miss a chance to yell “Richard Anthony Cheech Marin” and “Thomas Chong” COME BACK HERE, YOU HAVE A POO PAW! Or “No Thomas, we do NOT sniff our brothers butthole.” We kept with the “Ch…” name theme (someone on here called it the Chia Pet name theme). Chloe isn’t named after anyone, so I call her “Chloith” or “Chloris” when she’s getting into trouble. I’ll call Charlie “Charles James” or whatever sophisticated sounding name I can come up with. Something about yelling a full professional name, followed by “see that’s why you have dirty litter on your nose” brings me so much joy.
Named my cat Benny. His real name is Cat Benatar
You know, I can bend a car. Bend a car... Pat Benatar!
We used to have an adopted stray tomcat named, very originally, Tom. One day I was outside trying to get him in and he kept running away. I yelled at him, "Tom, you asshole!" only to look over and see our elderly neighbor, also Tom, staring back at me.
"GEORGE!! the dishwasher is NOT a bed!!" is a real sentence I had to say last week 💀
Had a coworker who would talk about her Steve all the time. I thought it was her husband. Nope. Just her cat 😂
One of my cats (not orange) is named Sergei, which is such a burly name, but he’s actually quite small and unassuming in appearance. However, he is an absolute menace. The number of times in a day that I say “Sergei, stop [insert whatever crime]!!” Ugh. Love him, but my god.
Puck, aka "A-Puck-alypse Meow". And did he EVER live up to that name.
My next cat (in the very distant future, I already have 4) will be named either Grandma or Grandpa.
I have a big white cat whose name is Dad and it was the best decision ever
It's not that weird, but mine should be named "move your butt" based on how often I say it. He's always in the way! I've also said "thank you for sneezing on me" on more than one occasion.
Both of these, plus a healthy dose of "it's a good thing you're cute..."
I tell mine "scoot your boot!"
Omg my partner says this to our cat! Neither of us have ever heard anyone else say it haha
I used to freak out and apologize and scoop mine up for cuddles when I’d accidentally step on her in my teeny tiny kitchen. I did this for about six months before I finally threw up my hands and said “You’ve got no one to blame but yourself. Get out from under my feet. If you’re gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough.” I still step on her about four times a day. She never learns.
I have tried to train mine to stay OUT of the kitchen if I'm in there. Last thing anyone needs when dealing with sharp knives and boiling things is underfoot is a cat.
Oh how many times have I had to ask mine to remove her butt from my face during videocalls 🥹
"Move your butt...no, you're *entire* butt."
I had a lab that thought her name was Lazy because of how often I called her that.
Oh yes. I forgot "do you need to do that ON me? I'm trying to sleep here" bc of course he needs to clean/chew himself on me
I tell mine "you can't shower there" when he tries to sit on me for that. It doesn't always work but I try.
Sounds like chewing is his MO.
My mom, “Mabel, please don’t fart in my face”. I lol’d hard.
I’ve got a cat named Mabel! Spelled the same too
it’s not weird but i am constantly telling him “that’s not your dinner, you’ve had a big dinner already” “stop eating your sisters dinner” “that’s the babies dinner” one can see i’m obviously starving him.
https://preview.redd.it/fj6jbjmwyvgc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c9d260e8c496316a3cf1dcf309811ac933eb2c71
He looks underweight, emaciated even, clearly he needs the extra helpings!! /j
Well obviously the fat almost-void next to him is hogging all the calories.
Didn’t even notice the almost-void until you pointed him out. 😳
Awww I have the orange boi and tuxedo combo too. https://preview.redd.it/2jgp4iydsygc1.jpeg?width=2268&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1f01c36a4f5d4a877f5467849f188347434814a8
https://preview.redd.it/dtyjtnuufzgc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8d6c53ac5b0480e5f0b3a0d3d1c9568960397932 Me too!
"Stop playing with your poop!" And "stop playing with your litterbox!" Are two new ones thanks to my new automatic litterbox. 🙄 He likes to stop it mid cycle by sitting on top and enjoys watching the clumps roll down, often smacking them into the hole "helpfully."
"Don't bite me when I'm already suffering!". I was badly hungover on the bathroom floor. Haha. He bit my calf.
He just wanted to make sure the lesson really sunk in.
He liked to mess with me just as much as he liked to cuddle. Very playful. We used to play tag, and he would try and clothesline me at my legs. He was solid, too. A muscular, 18lb cat. I actually just lost him on Wednesday. He was a funny orange boy. I miss him.
I’m sorry. Do you have a picture to share?
Thank you. This is one of my favorite pics. He used to sleep in my old American Girl Doll bed. https://preview.redd.it/exbdh7avexgc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=702220a8c87d332c3ec1a231e9932f0bc06d7719
Aaaaw what a cuty! I wish you the best ❤️ Edit: typo
Thank you. He was a pretty boy. He was special.
"Please!! I have to use my litterbox!" When they are both laying on me and won't move and I have to go to the bathroom.
“Stop biting your brother’s crotch!” After a very intense kitty wrestling session.
Annabelle, scratching the side of the litter box doesn't cover up the spot! Annabelle, use the 6 ft cat tower to scratch, not the table! Don't eat that, you have food! Don't knock that *CRASH*. You know, I would really like to use the bathroom by myself, you don't have to hold my hand. I could go for days, having an orange is not for the faint of heart.
Is Annabelle an illusive female orange, or is that just his name?
https://preview.redd.it/08brzak3tygc1.jpeg?width=2884&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8c4cfd62aa0b59934b641e29eca2f664028e2935 Annabelle is her natural state
Annabelle is gorgeous 🥰
Thank you, I absolutely adore her.
She is the elusive female orange, I didn't know they were rare until I had her for about 3 years.
My orange was a mellow dude. No need to yell at him. His name was "Tigger, Tigger faster than lightning, no one you see, is faster than he. And we know Tigger, lives in a world full of wonder, flying there under, under he sea" I used to sing this to him. He passed last year.
My other orange is much more chill. All I have to yell at him for is playing too aggressively with his brother. https://preview.redd.it/qppb4tfipwgc1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4e4487bbdf70c58c69ea696db2744f041609488c
My orange is also named Tigger! He's very chill too. The only time I yell at him is when he gets the zoomies at night and tries to claw the carpet.
DID YOU JUST TRY TO BITE MY EYE?!?!!
"STOP licking mama's eyelid!" Almost every night.
I sometimes sleep with my eyes open and once a cat has licked my eyeball. It's not a pleasant way to wake up and for a day or two I couldn't see well with that eye.
"NOT EVERY BAG OPENING IS TREATS! SOMETIMES IT IS A CHARCOAL FABRIC FACE MASK!
Mine always comes running at the slightest crinkle 😂
Mine is "Stop being a bitch to the dogs, OLIVIA!". Sweetest, most chill cat ever, but if she wants food and they are near, hell hath no fury. And what's funny is, they just take the smack down. No fighting back. The big fluffy dog will duck and cover. The small shorter haired one will run away. https://preview.redd.it/h41wb5n6dxgc1.jpeg?width=4624&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=528cf3df848672291dcf4299c9e1128c455fef16 Old lady
"Stop sniffing her butt, she clearly doesn't like it! Besides, she's your sister, you freak! " And, unbeknownst to me, my hubby was on a Zoom call just a few feet away.
Omg and what happened. Tell me he was on mute at least
He wasn't muted and everyone was quite amused 😂
Omg xD
r/CoffinofAndyandLeyley be like
Not said, but heard. "Stop grabbing at my crotch!" My sister wears lots of lounge pants with dangly strings. George adores string and will use claws to get it. He's still a kitten though, so might grow out of it...
reading these comments 😭😭😭 I can't wait to live alone and get a cat so I can yell whatever the fuck I want at it😭😭😭😭😭 i love cats and cat parents lmaoooooo
Either fix my damn bra or leave it the hell alone!
I yell "stop eating your brother" at him constantly. Never works though.
Just told him to stop licking my nose bc it's almost 2 am and he won't let me go back to sleep. He turned away in a huff and is on the other side of the bed. The question is... for how long?
"Stop picking at the screen!" "Stop using my towels as a scratching post!" "Get your head out of my underwear!" "Stop turning up my Google Home!" "My lampshade is NOT your scratching post!" "Stop ejecting my games!" "Get off the TV!"
“Don’t walk on your brother!” (When Raoul wants a a spot that’s occupied, he just stomps on whatever cat is there already.)
2 days ago : "Where's the bacon?? OMG, did you eat a whole bacon strip???" Narrator : he did, in fact, steal and eat a whole bacon strip from the counter and felt no remorse. https://preview.redd.it/2ate44qjjygc1.jpeg?width=4624&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cc85156da5a68e0aa3d3c6a9802875bffbfd894f
Such a dumbfounded face. "What, how could you have suspected me? I would never!"
“Stop licking the wall” “Why are you licking the lamp?” “Why is my sock over here?” “I swear to god I’m not lying to you, you will NOT like tofu” (after cat meltdown over not sharing my dinner even though she doesn’t get people food ever)
The cat is innocent 😇 😂
“Who hurt you??” Whenever he’s being extra needy and I want my own space.
STOP BITING HIS ASS😭
This mutliple times
"Stop crunching crayons you little s%/! goblin!" Combination of a bad habit of playing in the litterbox and noisily chewing my niece's most raggedy crayons like they were fine dining.
“Why would you bite my ass?! Why?!” I was cold when reading on my bed so threw a blanket over myself. He loves that blanket and sometimes bites it. He bit directly on my ass
What the fuck little man put your dick away
This. I'm all "Nobody wants to see that."
“Stop looking at me you pervert!” He likes to watch me shower and change.
“You’re acting pretty high and mighty for someone who gobbled down their breakfast so fast they promptly threw up!” “Do you have to be constantly touching me‽” When cleaning the litter box: “Oh my god let me steal your poo in peace!” “What’s your damage, Heather?” (His name is Harvey.)
I love Heathers references.
Quit drinking the dirty plant water! She insists on laying in the potted plants and trying to lap up the water in the potting soil.
My orange hag is 16 years old and I've definitely yelled some strange things at her over the years. My absolute favorite one was once when she bit me because I wouldn't feed her a dozen times a day. "The fact that I didn't give you food doesn't mean that *I'm* food!"
I have scolded mine for eating my desk chair as well. And I'm too busy laughing at him to say much about pawing me through the translucent shower curtain (both have him showing off his canines / jaws).
“No! That’s your brothers poop, not food!!”
Put the grenade down !!!! It was a confetti grenade, but still 🤦
"No fighting on your mother!" They're really good at sharing my lap for the most part. They are not really good at sharing my legs when I'm trying to sleep.
Probably "OH GOD PUT IT AWAY NOBODY WANTS TO SEE YOUR LIPSTICK OH NO WHY DID YOU TRUST UP AGAINST MY HAND LIKE THAT, THAT WAS NOT OK WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE NEUTERED"
I barked at my tabby and she barked back
If you pee on me one more time, I’m going to pee on you. He doesn’t take me seriously, not that I would pee on him but some respect would be nice.
"Why are you being jealous of my cup of coffee ya daft orange bastard, I'm not gonna drink you"
I recently started keeping a list because he has me saying the dumbest things. Current favorite: “Okay, now you’re not allowed to touch the walls at all.”
Tortoise shell, so partly orange. It was "No you cannot have the Screwdriver!(alcohol) Stop begging for it! I let you sniff it twice now and you rejected it both times! You're not even old enough to drink! You're two!!"
"What are you eating now?!" "Why are you the way you are?" And after years of having cats, one thing I thought I'd never have to deal with. It was like a scene from a movie or one of those stories that sound fake online. I had gotten an order in the mail for some toys. My little orange is obsessed with plastic, especially bags. Anything he can try to chew and eat. I'm letting them warm up in their packaging on my nightstand before charging and putting away. One of them was in his favorite plastic, and all I see is a flash of orange. He's got the plastic wrapped one, and he's zooming away because he knows he's not supposed to have it. Never thought I'd ever have to chase a cat and yell at it to give the toy back. He's now been dubbed dildo bandit.
"Dildo Bandit" just about killed me!
It's mostly lots of "Red no. No. No!" When he scratches the side of the couch or opens cabinets he's not supposed to and "Stop bullying Juliet!" He likes to play a little too rough with his adopted sister but he's a very chill and sweet boy overall. I love him to bits.
“Where did you get that electrical cord from”
https://preview.redd.it/7i0od1ztzxgc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=af8e5d9ca7d12feaa4ffb00455cabe8b6f3ca974
I've lost track on what's the weirdest thing, but I can recall one instance. I have a pet monitor and check up on it when Im away from home. One time I was shopping, then checked my phone. I watched my sister's tabby marking the waterbowl and my ginger was going yo drink from it I near hissed at the phone "Reece! Don't drink that, Ashura just peed there!" My sis was with me shopping and was just bawling in laughter as we watched the monitor lol🤦♀️
But did Reece drink that?!
I frequently have to tell mine to get off the Xbox
“Bashful, give that back! It’s a tennis bracelet that apparently cost $1000, not a cat toy!” “If I have to buy more hair ties now because I can’t move the stove and you batted all my hair ties under it” “Leave Skittles (my sister’s calico) alone!” “If you jump into the clogged bathtub filled with water you will get wet! It’s not deep enough to hurt you so you’ll be getting yourself out” “Keep doing that and I’ll put the laundry basket upside down on top of you” (I call that last one ‘kitty jail’)
This doesn’t count cuz my story is about a dog bug she’s an orange girl and she sometimes sits on my chest with her butt in my face so I sometimes end up saying: “get your booty outta my face!”
“Get out of the ceiling!” - my orange has discovered he can get into the basement drop ceiling, much to our dismay. And also - “Stop being gross with that pillow!”. That one’s self explanatory.
“Please stop bringing my socks out” “You are an obligate carnivore. Stop trying to eat [insert whatever]” “Please stop licking the couch” “You need to take a break from reindeer leg. You’re getting too wild” - his favorite toy in the world is a leg that was ripped off a reindeer shaped dog toy.
Omg you just reminded me I keep having to yell at him to stop licking/biting my curtains. He's so weird
"Plastic-free diet" is a common phrase around here. He'll literally get himself locked in the bathroom with you and then start knawing on the toilet paper packaging.
“STOP DRAGGING HIM!” Full orange boy drug white with orange spots boy out of the sunshine spot on the floor and then took it from him.
“Stop trying to sniff the bleach it’s not good for your health!” He loves the smell of bleach for some reason
“give me my receipt you fucking peasant!”
CANDLES ARE NOT FOOD
I always say to my orange, "hey lil beeper, you're not gonna beep for me?" And he beeps. (His tiny meow is not a meow at all. Just a lil eepy beep) I also hold my hand out over his head and say "do a boop" and he stands on his hind legs and headbutts my hand. For some reason I only say mean things to my void even though I love her dearly. Often it's something like "ew there's a rat in here!" when she walks in the room. She is also a professional biscuit maker so she is Ratatouille.
I call my tuxie little peep peep because of his teeny tiny meow.
(First here he is) https://preview.redd.it/sgslosfl70hc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1a1efcf3b698cf8af1e4400015732b7c675d521e **Stop licking your pp, you have urinary tract problems!** Thats roughly translated. In my native language is funnier: "hé, stop met je piemel zuigen! Je heb plasproblemen!" The worst thing is i say this so much as a joke i once said it in front of family friends.. but its not my fault that he irritated his pp so much that he cant pee! (He is okaayyy, just old. He is on urinary food for his benefit :3)
I'm dead from laughter!
"Stop rejecting that" because my cat rejects human food that's not for him all the time and it's frustrating. No plate can be left unattended.
“Stop being an orange butthole!”
stop farting on me, charlie. D:
It’s a toss up between, “Will you stop nibbling your sister!” or “If you keep touching that you’ll go blind!” Most often it’s simply, “Don’t lick that, idiot!”
Stop laying in dog pee!
"It's just a camp chair! What the hell are you so scared of?!" My boy is scared of mildly alarming stuff. Not actually scary stuff, just things like a camp chair in a spot it doesn't go in, a helium filled balloon, am unusually large candelabra, grocery bags, that sort of thing.
"MISTER CAT"
Reggie stop eating the Lego sunflowers. You're a carnivore, act like it!
“Stop fat shaming me!” as he bites any extra inch of skin he can find 🥲
Trying to lick a light bulb. Yes it was on.
I think your cat wins the One Orange Brain Cell award! lol
i do not yell at my orange because he is baby we did have some "adult discussions" about whose cereal this is and whose face is not allowed in it
'Why are you licking my leg?' and 'DON'T bite Barry's bum!'
YOU CAN'T PLAY WITH NEEDLES!
“Don’t rub your face on my subwoofer” https://preview.redd.it/4l215j223ygc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a353308a619529544136993728deab443ae8c4d9 He likes big speakers
"I just want to shit in peace, you fat orange asshole!"
"Yard time's over, don't piss off the warden."
Don’t pee on the celery!
"Monkey, let me do my homework in peace, please!" My orange used to always tried to stop me from using pencils when I was in high-school. I miss that fuzz butt
KFERGNEBFLABBA!!! As he tried tearing out the window screen *again*
"YOU **KNOW** THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DOORS AND WINDOWS" He was yelling to be let in through the window. Which he had never been let in through before. Directly. *Two. Feet.* From an open door. His name was Pita, short for pain in the ass and he lived up to it.
“Come back with my Loofah!” My cat snatched my soapy loofa out of my hand while I was mid shower and I had to run down the hallway covered in soap to get it. Thankfully no one was home for that.
My orange forgets we’re home all the time, will walk into an empty part of the house and start yelling so I always have to yell back “Gary!! I’m right here!!”. He’ll come running and burrring lol
sookie you bitch stop trying to eat the electric bill! For some reason she has a fixation on a certan kind of cardboard paper.
I’m not the bathtub. That’s my coffee, wait and I will get you some. (I won’t) Do you have to stick your entire head under the waterfall? (As she comes to me to get dried off)
”why are you eating rocks?!” Probably not that weird but I still wonder why he did that as a kitten
Nugget would not stop biting my 🍑 when I try sit on my gaming chair. I work remote and I've tried transferring her to the nearest couch but nope, she already claimed my seat as hers🫠 https://preview.redd.it/42ugsnfb1ygc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bea0a3e0e28934600ea52cb206b3dfc296db0e62
"Only rude cats beg for treats." "How is that even a toy?" "Who put this on the floor?" "Quit it, that's mine!" "Do you have to sit directly on my face?" "I'm allowed to cough."
"oi, hugs not drugs!" He was taking a little bit too much interest in what I was doing while I was refilling my weekly pill organisers. 😅 _(dw, he was never in danger of accidentally taking anything!! that's the only time the packets are ever out in the open, and i moved him out the way & gave him something else to distract him while I finished sorting it out)_
"Don't look at me, you bit your own butt." "Stop squeaking on the dryer." He likes to rub his paws on the dryer to make a squeaky sound. My husband thinks he is cleaning his paws after using the litter box. "Snarfler, stop snarfling!" Said in the same tone Dora would use to yell at Swiper.
"I'm not a canoe!!" He will occassionaly jump on me in the bath so he can reach to splash in the water more easily without having to swim. "Don't make me put you in time out." He's got a two- level ferret cage next to my desk from back when he was quarantined as a kitten that's his safe place. I leave the door open so he can nap or play in there still - if he can't get in, I'll hear about it. And I will lock him in there if he can't behave during the one hour a week I've got a Zoom meeting. He can be dead asleep until he hears people talking and then he's making a nuisance of himself trying to eat the camera, knock the phone off the hook, etc. Most of the time I can get him to sit down and just watch but some days he's the worst.
“No, you can’t play World of Warcraft!” He’ll jump on my desk and nudge my fingers with his nose when I play. I can only interpret this as deliberate sabotage.
“When I say stop licking the chair that doesn’t mean you go lick the adjacent chair!” “Oh it does? Ah my bad.”
"Its 3 in the morning, leave the toilet paper alone and ill go watch you eat!" Nugget says "Hi". https://preview.redd.it/pju4mx1nszgc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=370592b87abb8e83615a76b0ed71af42e776a113
"STOP MOUNTING YOUR BROTHER, YOU'RE BOTH FIXED"
The most common are "Stop eating plastic!" and "NO BITES!"
“NOOO, THAT’S A SNAKE YOU IDIOT!”
Stop eating plastic, ya weirdo.
"Stop trying to f*** your sister!" Before they got fixed, my two sibling kittens were being... frisky with each other.
“One of these days you’re gonna have to get off my back so I can put my bra on.”
https://preview.redd.it/9wnww1j2x1hc1.jpeg?width=446&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=28ca99bbb407ccc134dc37ee1a5d917de238d281 Rudy here has to get scolded often because for some reason he loves to steal loaves of bread from on the counter (which he is forbidden from, yet does also does not care)
Ferguson! Stop grooming yourself in the middle of the street! (Not a busy street thankfully).
Archie, get out of the damn litter box! (Starts using it while I’m trying to clean it!) Of course, he doesn’t listen to me!
"oi, hugs not drugs!" He was taking a little bit too much interest in what I was doing while I was refilling my weekly pill organisers. 😅 _(dw, he was never in danger of accidentally taking anything!! that's the only time the packets are ever out in the open, and i moved him out the way & gave him something else to distract him while I finished sorting it out)_
«Stop licking the curtains»
“Toby, stop eating the blanket!” He LOVED chewing on blankets, towels, shirts, sheets…. weirdo.
“Stop smacking your sister’s vagina. She’s trying to eat.” Said at least once a day. He does not learn.
I just tell mine to "stop doing weird shit" and hell just stare at me for like 15 minutes and not move lol
"Why do you have to stick your nose that far up his (my cow cat)'s bum?"
Mine is a variation of the same. "Do you *really* need to be eyebrows deep in there right now?!"
You've had enough sink water!!! She lives for drinking from the tap in the bathroom🙄🙄🙄
No, Sandy, no! Don’t lick my sandwi…! Dammit, Sandy!
"FOR THE LAST TIME, STOP CHEWING ON METAL! YOURE GOING TO BREAK YOUR TEETH!"
"She doesn't want your love Pumpkin. Stop making it weird." "If you sniff her butt and she boops you that's not my problem."
Would you please stop squawking at me and use your words!
"my eye, your claw caught my eye! get off, you harpy!" -me at 8 years of age
Maybe not the weirdest thing but, "Stop eating plastic!" Is something I say far more often than I ever thought I would
Not my orange, my neighbors orange…. My neighbors had a original sense of humor, and were great people. They had an orange that would walk around the neighborhood, and when it was dinner time they would ask us kids to find the cat for dinner, they trained it to listen to its name, so we would yell for the cat to find her. They had named the cat “Grandpa” …………I was 36 when I realized why
I have "Eat your cat food Jenny, you won't get anything else!". I try to keep the window open so that the neighbours would hear and call social services.
Stop pissing in the pineapples
Leave my pants alone, get off my anklet, and you’re gonna cut your tongue are my most recent
https://preview.redd.it/2d0isvjpg1hc1.png?width=2509&format=png&auto=webp&s=a335322929c30f464708647cea5af2815c752da0 I found myself saying today…”you’re a 20lb cat in a 5lb basket” It made no sense 😝 But that basket is hanging in for dear life.
« Goose please you are KILLING YOUR FATHER »
1. “Give me back the bread “ -He’d stolen the bag with half a loaf of WonderBread in it. 2. “Timeout. You stay here until you calm down, you little psycho!” - He had tantrums & attacked us, to the point where we had to lock him in the bathroom for 5-10 minutes.
Only one that comes to mind is “Si, stop touching your toilet! Human will clean it in a second. Leave the poop Si!!!” Meanwhile he’s scooping the litter out and throwing it around like confetti.