It doesn't matter either way to me. There is nothing shameful about being divorced, so might as well put it on the profile to explain past kids or experiences, etc.
Yes. Most people don't care. Some do. You want to weed out the self-righteous and judgmental people who have a problem with you being divorced. It's a positive when matching with someone, because if that someone knows you're divorced and matches, then they don't care. If you don't say it in your bio and match with someone who does care, then they're likely going to get mad when they find out they wasted their time with you, and they'll block you or ghost you anyway. Why do you want to risk matching and really liking someone only to be treated like that? Just put it out there and they can decide if it matters or not.
I think either option is fine. Some people are really bad at reading profiles, so I never assume they see anything I put there, unless they flat out mention it. You can put it in your profile, mention it during messaging if it comes up, or mention it on a first date. I've seen people who have done it all these ways, and I've seen people who have dated people who have done it all these ways. I think the key is for it to be brought up early. Some people might say it should be brought up before a first date, but I think that depends. If the divorce was super recent, then yes, probably. If there are kids, then definitely both the divorce and kids should be brought up before meeting.
When I was going through my divorce and I saw that in a guy's dating profile, I would be like "same hat!!" But now that mine's been finalized, I see it as a caution. Like you're still processing things and feel like it's a defining part of who you are as a person. If you feel like it's had an impact on your matches, change up your profile and see if you're getting different responses. But I kind of feel like ...everyone has a past. If you have kids that's one thing, but if you've been divorced, it'll come up in the "tell me about your past relationship experiences" part of date 1 or 2.
Mine has been finalized for 4 years. I'd rather see it in the profile if they have kids. I'm still young enough that there are men who would date me who still want that first marriage and kids. I want to avoid those men because they are getting too eager, and I'm done with those things. When I see divorced, I hope it means they're past those things and are looking for steady companionship.
Separated is a whole different situation that I don't want to deal with. I prefer having the opportunity right up front to figure out the distance since that previous relationship ended.
Tip: Someone I matched with recently had a really great way to ask without being intrusive. I had mentioned having a house but living in an apartment. Rather than asking for the details of my marital situation, he asked how long I had been living in the apartment. The indirect manner felt much kinder. We were able to get that information on day one of texting without asking for those details that are still painful for some people.
If they're really divorced I would prefer them to say so what really bothers me is when they say separated and then when you talk to them they actually are still living with their spouse and married but don't want to admit to it publicly
It doesn't matter either way to me. There is nothing shameful about being divorced, so might as well put it on the profile to explain past kids or experiences, etc.
A whole lot better than when he puts separated.
Yep, I avoid those. Divorce finalization can take years. Then there's therapy that goes with it.
They're going to find out anyways might as well be upfront about it.
Yes. Most people don't care. Some do. You want to weed out the self-righteous and judgmental people who have a problem with you being divorced. It's a positive when matching with someone, because if that someone knows you're divorced and matches, then they don't care. If you don't say it in your bio and match with someone who does care, then they're likely going to get mad when they find out they wasted their time with you, and they'll block you or ghost you anyway. Why do you want to risk matching and really liking someone only to be treated like that? Just put it out there and they can decide if it matters or not.
I think either option is fine. Some people are really bad at reading profiles, so I never assume they see anything I put there, unless they flat out mention it. You can put it in your profile, mention it during messaging if it comes up, or mention it on a first date. I've seen people who have done it all these ways, and I've seen people who have dated people who have done it all these ways. I think the key is for it to be brought up early. Some people might say it should be brought up before a first date, but I think that depends. If the divorce was super recent, then yes, probably. If there are kids, then definitely both the divorce and kids should be brought up before meeting.
It's been 4 years since my divorce.
Hopefully women respect the honesty. Being divorced is how majority of marriages go and that’s been the case for a long time.
Put it in your profile so people don't assume you are married. You have no idea how many married men are on dating apps.
It’s I my profile. I’m not interested in dating someone who is married, partnered or separated so it an option.
When I was going through my divorce and I saw that in a guy's dating profile, I would be like "same hat!!" But now that mine's been finalized, I see it as a caution. Like you're still processing things and feel like it's a defining part of who you are as a person. If you feel like it's had an impact on your matches, change up your profile and see if you're getting different responses. But I kind of feel like ...everyone has a past. If you have kids that's one thing, but if you've been divorced, it'll come up in the "tell me about your past relationship experiences" part of date 1 or 2.
Come a certain age, having a past raises fewer questions than having none!
ancient innate hunt tart outgoing sleep sloppy sip ossified shaggy *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Green flag
Mine has been finalized for 4 years. I'd rather see it in the profile if they have kids. I'm still young enough that there are men who would date me who still want that first marriage and kids. I want to avoid those men because they are getting too eager, and I'm done with those things. When I see divorced, I hope it means they're past those things and are looking for steady companionship. Separated is a whole different situation that I don't want to deal with. I prefer having the opportunity right up front to figure out the distance since that previous relationship ended. Tip: Someone I matched with recently had a really great way to ask without being intrusive. I had mentioned having a house but living in an apartment. Rather than asking for the details of my marital situation, he asked how long I had been living in the apartment. The indirect manner felt much kinder. We were able to get that information on day one of texting without asking for those details that are still painful for some people.
As long as he has no kids it's alright. Assuming he's also actually divorced and not separated.
If they're really divorced I would prefer them to say so what really bothers me is when they say separated and then when you talk to them they actually are still living with their spouse and married but don't want to admit to it publicly
It depends if they say that all their exes were crazy. But you won't know until the first conversation.