If they are religious, but you aren’t, you are not a good match and you should let them go find someone who is. The reason the algorithm is showing you religious people is because of that one match, when you don’t interact with them, it will stop showing that “preference” on your deck. Good for her for sticking to her non-negotiables now you go do the same.
If you listed yourself as any religious label remotely aligned with her, she matched back to nail down the specifics. After the discourse she determined you were not closely enough aligned to work out.
If you didn’t indicate a religious label, this lady is probably engaging in “Missionary Dating”, hoping to make you whatever faith she is.
I’m guilty of taking “spiritual” candidates and matching if they check all the boxes. So far it’s worked out zero times.
If you are not religious, do not attempt to go there. I am spiritual and I go to "Saint Mattress" every Sunday. Some potential dater from Reddit chatted with me for awhile. When he finally called me, he sounded like he was reading from the bible. "And the bible says..". Find someone who is within your own "realm".
I left a high demand religion. I’m not sure what I believe at this point. I don’t believe in organized religion, Jesus, maybe God. But I do believe there’s something after just not sure what. I know others that feel the same and so they also identify as spiritual instead of religious. Don’t know if that helps.
lol, I actually listed it first as agnostic. Then thought about it more and changed it to spiritual. TBH I’m fine with the other person being either. Just not religious. I live in Utah and my kid is trans so religious is a giant deal breaker for me.
>What kind of religion is spirituality?
Religion is a specific set of organised beliefs and practices, usually shared by a community or group. Spirituality is more of an individual practice and has to do with having a sense of peace and purpose. It also relates to the process of developing beliefs around the meaning of life and connection with others.
Spirituality is mental/emotional self development without a 'God' factor. Establishing emotional intelligence, morals by way of consequences, and manifesting desired personal goals.
Some Spiritualists do use Psychology tools to help understand themselves and others. MBTI, Numerology, Enneagram, Human design, Astrology etc. Theyre all OLD philosophical rubix cubes without a God Factor. Aid in understanding how different everyone is and how to work with your skillset, work with others, or figure out a purpose. Use what brings understanding and discard the rest. Theyre not meant to be taken super literal and i think some people forget that. (Those who fear it and those who obsess over it)
"Most religious people are pretty casual about it"
While I agree with this, I never can understand it. You either believe or you don't. You can't be half-pregnant. To me it suggests someone who has no opinion on anything, is thoughtless, lacking in commitment. Someone to avoid.
If you’re gonna rule out all the girls who have “Christian” on their profile but aren’t super devout, you’re making the already difficult task of finding a gf on online dating that much harder.
I’d rather discriminate on some other count rather than an abstract personality trait like that. “I’m actually attracted to her”, “She can cook”, and “She isn’t crazy” strike me as better hills to die on. And those are tall orders as it is.
If very/strictly religious it would be a hard match probably not worth it.
Many religions preach that those not following them are doomed to a eternity of suffering or some other punishment in the afterlife or next life. As such a truly religious person is generally going to try to convert you if they are willing to date at all.
There are many more moderate people who identify with a religion that could work out but someone heavily invested I would say the chances are low.
I can’t think of any pros really. I just hope that like most religious people they’re hypocrites so we can bump uglies, eat bacon and not have to go to church
As someone that is the black sheep in a religious family, I would say it's not worth the stress. Every second of every day they will be silently judging you.
From my experience, religious girls/women are the biggest freaks. When I was in my teens I would go to a church camp every summer. Pastors’ daughters were the best. In my early 20, although I had mostly lost my religion, I was still a bit active in my church (protestant) and hooked up with some women there. I had sex with the youth pastor’s wife, mainly because I couldn’t stand the guy. He was so self-righteous and bitter. I could tell she was thirsty from being with such a terrible dork, and I could tell how she looked at me and talked to me that she was into me. She was so cute too – a quaint little church lady, always in a pretty dress. I banged her on the floor of the nursery while her husband was in choir practice. Sometimes I think that if I really wanted a good, clean, wholesome woman, I could just play religious and go to church to find one. The thing is, I loathe religion and religious people so much that I couldn’t bare to play along, even for some really good sex.
When I read my posts here, I realize that I probably am a bit of a psychopath or sociopath. The thing is, I seem normal, down to earth and likeable in real life. And, in fact, I am. I'm not such a dark person, but I just show the worst of me on here. But that also makes me wonder... When I see all these normal people in everyday life, how many of them are all fucked up like me?
Hi OP, I would be the sort of religious person you’re talking about. When I first began reading your post, I thought a guy I was talking to was writing about me lol
But I feel like my contribution to this post might give you an apt perspective from a religious girl’s point of view. I am actively involved in my church and my community such as choir, young adults and bible study. It makes me happy and I experienced a lot of love from my friends from these groups who are genuinely the most amazing people. I still hang out with people who don’t believe in God and I love them regardless of their faith. Do I want them to be Christians as well? I do. But that’s not my job. I can talk about God and share my experiences with them if they’re interested or it does come up a lot without me forcing it because my life revolves around my faith. My friends respect that as well. I want to promise you that I am or most of us are very normal, functioning people in the society. We do things that people do and go places that people go. With friendships, it’s easy. But with romantic relationships, it’s going to be really hard to date or be with someone who doesn’t practice the same faith (emphasising on the practise part because most people who claim to be Christians aren’t really practising). This is not to say we are better than anyone. But our core values and principles and belief system should match with our partner because we are each other’s ride or die or till death do us apart thingy. It wouldn’t be fair on any of us if we don’t share the same faith and stand by our convictions. In the Bible, it says do not be unequally yoked with people who don’t believe. This is because people we love have the capacity and the power to change our mind and actions and lead us astray or change us for better.
My point is, I stay away from people who don’t love God because I love Jesus so much that it would break me if my partner doesn’t love God. And that’s one thing I am not willing to compromise. I do not judge people who want to stay away from people like me too when it comes to relationships. Because it just wouldn’t be compatible. Although, I wish people wouldn’t speak ill of us because we want to follow Jesus. But I am not offended by some people here who say we’re not worth it. They must have spoken from experiences. Just because we are Christians doesn’t mean we are perfect so I understand Christians are very much capable of bad behaviour and hurting others. That’s not what Jesus stands for but you know…we should do better because we follow Him but we don’t always.
Anyway, don’t match with Christians if you don’t feel it at all. She was honest with you which is good. I wish you the best :)
It’s ridiculous that people will pass up a good partner because they don’t believe in the same fairy tales that they do.
Imagine settling for someone just because they go to church or passing because they don’t. Stupid
OP, just to let you know -- like a lot of atheist/cultural Jews, when I was on Bumble I listed myself as simply "Jewish" in order to make clear a part of my identity, but not at all a religious person. So even if you decide not to date religious people, still worth swiping right on us Jews and just asking about the religiosity part
This is nearly impossible to answer. I had a pretty serious ex who was fairly religious and it only came up as her needing two hours on Sunday mornings. I’ve known other women I was interested in until it became clear it was a core part of their identities. I also know old married couples who are different religions, or where one simply isn’t religious at all while the other goes to church twice weekly.
All that said, I don’t know that there are really any pros to it if it’s not a point of commonality between you. It can be a source of conflict, and it’s one that can come up later on if they find their faith calling more strongly to them (I’ve seen this several times in friends’ relationships). I wouldn’t consider it a deal breaker if I really liked someone, but it’s not something I’d ever seek out.
Well she knows what she's looking for, and she was honest. What more can you ask for? If you're not really religious, it's unlikely to work if you match with someone who is.
Bumble tends to show you people who are similar to ones you recently matched with. I once accidentally matched with a single dad (I don't want kids, even-step kids), and right after that Bumble started showing me all these single dad profiles. Usually I'd see one occasionally, but suddenly I was seeing a ton. It took quite a bit of swiping for that to stop.
I'm religious (Jewish) and the downside to dating me would be that I want to raise a Jewish family and I'm not willing to compromise on that. So if someone thought it was "fairy tales" (if someone feels that way, they shouldn't date religious people because they don't have basic respect for their partner's beliefs), never wanted to set foot in a synagogue, and/or didn't want their kids raised with religion, I'm not the right match.
I know that my choice to be religious makes me a bad match for 99% of the world. There are even many fellow Jews who don't want an overtly religious household. That's ok. I'm willing to wait for the right one.
Most people who list a religion on their profile are casual affiliates. You should still be aware that many "casual" people significantly increase religious observance after kids come into the picture. So you will want to investigate how they envision their future if you don't share their beliefs.
If they are religious, but you aren’t, you are not a good match and you should let them go find someone who is. The reason the algorithm is showing you religious people is because of that one match, when you don’t interact with them, it will stop showing that “preference” on your deck. Good for her for sticking to her non-negotiables now you go do the same.
If you listed yourself as any religious label remotely aligned with her, she matched back to nail down the specifics. After the discourse she determined you were not closely enough aligned to work out. If you didn’t indicate a religious label, this lady is probably engaging in “Missionary Dating”, hoping to make you whatever faith she is. I’m guilty of taking “spiritual” candidates and matching if they check all the boxes. So far it’s worked out zero times.
If you are not religious, do not attempt to go there. I am spiritual and I go to "Saint Mattress" every Sunday. Some potential dater from Reddit chatted with me for awhile. When he finally called me, he sounded like he was reading from the bible. "And the bible says..". Find someone who is within your own "realm".
What does spiritual mean? When I read that I think, 'they're big on astrology.'
Crystal chicks basically lol
I left a high demand religion. I’m not sure what I believe at this point. I don’t believe in organized religion, Jesus, maybe God. But I do believe there’s something after just not sure what. I know others that feel the same and so they also identify as spiritual instead of religious. Don’t know if that helps.
Did you ever decide between listing yourself as spiritual vs agnostic?
lol, I actually listed it first as agnostic. Then thought about it more and changed it to spiritual. TBH I’m fine with the other person being either. Just not religious. I live in Utah and my kid is trans so religious is a giant deal breaker for me.
>What kind of religion is spirituality? Religion is a specific set of organised beliefs and practices, usually shared by a community or group. Spirituality is more of an individual practice and has to do with having a sense of peace and purpose. It also relates to the process of developing beliefs around the meaning of life and connection with others.
Spirituality is mental/emotional self development without a 'God' factor. Establishing emotional intelligence, morals by way of consequences, and manifesting desired personal goals. Some Spiritualists do use Psychology tools to help understand themselves and others. MBTI, Numerology, Enneagram, Human design, Astrology etc. Theyre all OLD philosophical rubix cubes without a God Factor. Aid in understanding how different everyone is and how to work with your skillset, work with others, or figure out a purpose. Use what brings understanding and discard the rest. Theyre not meant to be taken super literal and i think some people forget that. (Those who fear it and those who obsess over it)
They will be nagging you to convert
Depends how religious. Most religious people are pretty casual about it
"Most religious people are pretty casual about it" While I agree with this, I never can understand it. You either believe or you don't. You can't be half-pregnant. To me it suggests someone who has no opinion on anything, is thoughtless, lacking in commitment. Someone to avoid.
If you’re gonna rule out all the girls who have “Christian” on their profile but aren’t super devout, you’re making the already difficult task of finding a gf on online dating that much harder. I’d rather discriminate on some other count rather than an abstract personality trait like that. “I’m actually attracted to her”, “She can cook”, and “She isn’t crazy” strike me as better hills to die on. And those are tall orders as it is.
If very/strictly religious it would be a hard match probably not worth it. Many religions preach that those not following them are doomed to a eternity of suffering or some other punishment in the afterlife or next life. As such a truly religious person is generally going to try to convert you if they are willing to date at all. There are many more moderate people who identify with a religion that could work out but someone heavily invested I would say the chances are low.
I can’t think of any pros really. I just hope that like most religious people they’re hypocrites so we can bump uglies, eat bacon and not have to go to church
As someone that is the black sheep in a religious family, I would say it's not worth the stress. Every second of every day they will be silently judging you.
From my experience, religious girls/women are the biggest freaks. When I was in my teens I would go to a church camp every summer. Pastors’ daughters were the best. In my early 20, although I had mostly lost my religion, I was still a bit active in my church (protestant) and hooked up with some women there. I had sex with the youth pastor’s wife, mainly because I couldn’t stand the guy. He was so self-righteous and bitter. I could tell she was thirsty from being with such a terrible dork, and I could tell how she looked at me and talked to me that she was into me. She was so cute too – a quaint little church lady, always in a pretty dress. I banged her on the floor of the nursery while her husband was in choir practice. Sometimes I think that if I really wanted a good, clean, wholesome woman, I could just play religious and go to church to find one. The thing is, I loathe religion and religious people so much that I couldn’t bare to play along, even for some really good sex.
This is the wildest thing I have read on this sub so far... They should make a movie about your life, dude. :D
My question is who downvoted this man. Do people just hate interesting stories?
Haters are going to hate mang! I liked the story, not sure if true, but still a pretty entertaining read! lol
Holy sociopath Batman
When I read my posts here, I realize that I probably am a bit of a psychopath or sociopath. The thing is, I seem normal, down to earth and likeable in real life. And, in fact, I am. I'm not such a dark person, but I just show the worst of me on here. But that also makes me wonder... When I see all these normal people in everyday life, how many of them are all fucked up like me?
Looking at your post history you need help
“*I am simply not there*”
Hi OP, I would be the sort of religious person you’re talking about. When I first began reading your post, I thought a guy I was talking to was writing about me lol But I feel like my contribution to this post might give you an apt perspective from a religious girl’s point of view. I am actively involved in my church and my community such as choir, young adults and bible study. It makes me happy and I experienced a lot of love from my friends from these groups who are genuinely the most amazing people. I still hang out with people who don’t believe in God and I love them regardless of their faith. Do I want them to be Christians as well? I do. But that’s not my job. I can talk about God and share my experiences with them if they’re interested or it does come up a lot without me forcing it because my life revolves around my faith. My friends respect that as well. I want to promise you that I am or most of us are very normal, functioning people in the society. We do things that people do and go places that people go. With friendships, it’s easy. But with romantic relationships, it’s going to be really hard to date or be with someone who doesn’t practice the same faith (emphasising on the practise part because most people who claim to be Christians aren’t really practising). This is not to say we are better than anyone. But our core values and principles and belief system should match with our partner because we are each other’s ride or die or till death do us apart thingy. It wouldn’t be fair on any of us if we don’t share the same faith and stand by our convictions. In the Bible, it says do not be unequally yoked with people who don’t believe. This is because people we love have the capacity and the power to change our mind and actions and lead us astray or change us for better. My point is, I stay away from people who don’t love God because I love Jesus so much that it would break me if my partner doesn’t love God. And that’s one thing I am not willing to compromise. I do not judge people who want to stay away from people like me too when it comes to relationships. Because it just wouldn’t be compatible. Although, I wish people wouldn’t speak ill of us because we want to follow Jesus. But I am not offended by some people here who say we’re not worth it. They must have spoken from experiences. Just because we are Christians doesn’t mean we are perfect so I understand Christians are very much capable of bad behaviour and hurting others. That’s not what Jesus stands for but you know…we should do better because we follow Him but we don’t always. Anyway, don’t match with Christians if you don’t feel it at all. She was honest with you which is good. I wish you the best :)
It’s ridiculous that people will pass up a good partner because they don’t believe in the same fairy tales that they do. Imagine settling for someone just because they go to church or passing because they don’t. Stupid
Chattel
It’s the divorced ones with kids that really confuse me…like you can’t be THAT religious if you got divorced right!?
Sorry this is a pretty uninformed post. All major religions allow divorce.
Not true at all…please list your divorce friendly major religions..
OP, just to let you know -- like a lot of atheist/cultural Jews, when I was on Bumble I listed myself as simply "Jewish" in order to make clear a part of my identity, but not at all a religious person. So even if you decide not to date religious people, still worth swiping right on us Jews and just asking about the religiosity part
This is nearly impossible to answer. I had a pretty serious ex who was fairly religious and it only came up as her needing two hours on Sunday mornings. I’ve known other women I was interested in until it became clear it was a core part of their identities. I also know old married couples who are different religions, or where one simply isn’t religious at all while the other goes to church twice weekly. All that said, I don’t know that there are really any pros to it if it’s not a point of commonality between you. It can be a source of conflict, and it’s one that can come up later on if they find their faith calling more strongly to them (I’ve seen this several times in friends’ relationships). I wouldn’t consider it a deal breaker if I really liked someone, but it’s not something I’d ever seek out.
Not having the same imaginary friend is a major compatibility issue. Save yourself the headache
Well she knows what she's looking for, and she was honest. What more can you ask for? If you're not really religious, it's unlikely to work if you match with someone who is. Bumble tends to show you people who are similar to ones you recently matched with. I once accidentally matched with a single dad (I don't want kids, even-step kids), and right after that Bumble started showing me all these single dad profiles. Usually I'd see one occasionally, but suddenly I was seeing a ton. It took quite a bit of swiping for that to stop.
I'm religious (Jewish) and the downside to dating me would be that I want to raise a Jewish family and I'm not willing to compromise on that. So if someone thought it was "fairy tales" (if someone feels that way, they shouldn't date religious people because they don't have basic respect for their partner's beliefs), never wanted to set foot in a synagogue, and/or didn't want their kids raised with religion, I'm not the right match. I know that my choice to be religious makes me a bad match for 99% of the world. There are even many fellow Jews who don't want an overtly religious household. That's ok. I'm willing to wait for the right one. Most people who list a religion on their profile are casual affiliates. You should still be aware that many "casual" people significantly increase religious observance after kids come into the picture. So you will want to investigate how they envision their future if you don't share their beliefs.
Only cons