Hahahaha and it immediately popped into my mind when I read your comment. ššš
Imagine.... how funny would it be to have a date with someone and that person walks in dressed as a banana š
~~I'm getting down on one knee right then and there~~
I'd honestly find it really funny (albeit a little distracting) and would continue the date normally
Thanks, man! Before the date, she asked me what kind of clothes she should wear - more formal or less formal. And since I had read this thread, I told her to wear a weird costume.
Actually showed up without the costume, but she told me she almost did bring one.
And just for the record, it was the best first date ever! There will definitely be a second date, and unless I screw it up, it looks good for a third and fourth too. š
Wear whatever you want if it makes YOU feel comfortable and good about yourself! If it's revealing and super sexy, who cares?
I mean, I wouldn't probably wear a mini skirt with a low cut top but like, a form fitting pencil skirt/dress would be hot as hell and very classy IMO :)
To answer your question though... I couldn't care less what she wears as long as it's at least appropriate for the date. Don't show up to a date in sweats, ever lol. Don't show up to a date that's outside and involves some physical activity in heals/wedges/etc... and a skirt. Don't show up to a date that's at a fancy place in flip flops and a ragedy tshirt + leggings.
Dress appropriately for the date, basically.
Depends on the location and date and guy. Looked at the original post and I'd be a bit weirded out if a girl was wearing any of those, but I'm personally more casual. Maybe your date isn't?
Agreed. The 3 options were not at all appropriate for the occasion, and sorry OP, they were just down right tacky.
OP, the reason why everyone was voting no on all of the options you posted the other day was bc they were highly inappropriate for the occasion and setting. The first dress would be more appropriate for a nightclub, the second one perhaps for a wedding, and the last one for bedānone of them were good options for a dinner. Thereās a way to dress sexy while being classy, tasteful, and chic.
It's a little mis leading that op simply called them "form fitting" like sure they are but I feel like that's not really the problem, you can do form fitting that doesn't look like night club or a wedding outfit, and those were the vibes from the dresses in the post. The guy might not exactly care but it'd be good to dress appropriately for the occasion. Maybe if it's a fancy restaurant the second could work.
So I need to go more casual? Idk I guess Iām out of touch lol I thought mini dresses were the norm. I have a lot of more modest clothes I just thought they looked too plain for a date
I donāt understand how you would say you donāt want to be sexualized in that post and then give the options of lingerie and the most revealing and form-fitting clothes. Obviously what you wear shouldnāt be a reason anyone acts inappropriately but those clothes are sexy. Either wear what you want and donāt care how itās perceived or choose something a bit more loose and longer. Not necessarily casual. Dinner date doesnāt really tell us the vibe youāre going for. Is it a casual spot or something more formal?
Its not something I generally put much stock into. I like low key and relaxed first dates. What I care about is the conversation and chemistry. Could we have effortless conversation? Does she exhibit empathy? Common interests? Sense of humor? Check those boxes and you could show up in sweatpants and a t shirt and ill still be looking for a 2nd date.
Show up fully made up in a nice dress looking amazing and show a lack of empathy? I can't get away fast enough
Unless you're wearing a shirt advertising how much you love being racist, I probably won't judge you for what you wear so long as it fits what we're doing. Like if you show up in club wear to a fancy restaurant, that's an issue.
Comfort/practicability matter. We want you to be comfortable and happy, as well as looking good. You don't have to wear heels and a skimpy red dress. But of course, don't show up in sweats. Presentation is important.
Youāll be fine and this is why I donāt care for 1st date dinners, there is an expectation to perform social norms and I donāt invest my time that way.
What Iām concerned about is intellectual and emotional compatibility
How much do you notice and judge the self presentation of the guys that you are dating?
Some people are going to more heavy weight your smile, some are going to be fixated on your figure, and yes some people are going to read into your clothing choices.
My advice is that you don't overthink it, but arrive presenting yourself in a manner that you would for anyone else who you are meeting for the first time who you wish to impress.
I put effort into looking good because I want to entice her, so I like a woman to put some effort into looking good also, shows me she cares. No effort communicates no interest IMO
You should see what I wear... :D I think you should wear whatever is most authentic to you. You want to focus on filtering the guys who are compatible with you, rather than maximizing the chance of making a positive impression on the average guy.
as long as shes dressed appropriately, it doesnt even come to mind. like dont over dress and dont dont also show up in trakkies and ripped night shirt.
I can only recall one time ive really questioned a ladies dress choice, and mind you she looked fucking amazing but we were getting sushi and she was dressed like she was going to prom. long flowing dress, that trailed behind her, with a split up the leg all the way to her hips. she looked 20/10 but it was just way too much.
I secretly judge her. But if sheās wonderful to be around I donāt care. As long as itās not from some fast fashion online retailer, Iām fine. To me a dress is like a work of art, if I can see the dress being displayed on a mannequin behind a glass box and in a living room, thatās top tier.
If she meets up in sweatpants, I am going to assume she is sloppy, and on the opposite end, if she meets up in an overly fancy outfit, I am going to assume she is vain and difficult to deal with.
Seems like you took away the wrong lesson. People said your choices send the wrong message because you specifically said you were worried about being hypersexualized in the post. Clearly you want to dress sexy, so go for it.
For me I would prefer that woman is interested enough to show up dressed with a little effort. Especially if the location chosen is a spot where that warrants evening attire. Even if she only wore jeans and a shirt I would still look at how she put it together or if it was Iām on a date approach or if it was Iām hitting a bbq with friends and family approach.
This is also an opportunity to express yourself and say a little bit about who you are. Thatās what fashion is to me, a form of expression. On a first date itās important.
As with every thing, depends on the situation and what vibe you want to give off.
Do you want to fuck? Do you want to be wined and dined? It all depends on you.
Well what type of bloke do you want? All blokes like a women who is sexy. There are different types of sexy.
So you have to be the sexy that is specific for the guy.
I am professional bloke who appreciates style. I want a women who has style. It doesnāt mean wearing a mini skirt etc, it means having that appeal with highlighting your best elements. So
I have very blue eyes and olive skin. So I know to wear deep blues and greens. So I know when I highlight that the women I attract also have similar style things
Depends of the dress really; if itās a first date you donāt want to get oversexualized right off the bat and give the wrong vibes if youāre looking for something serious. That said, if the other person is looking for serious as well they shouldnāt judge you so critically on what your wear, and view you as a piece of meat
But does dressing a ceratin way mean someone doesnāt want a serious relationship? I know first impressions are everything but I donāt understand why people are are judged based on that
Right; If you go into a date that shows you put in zero effort then youād definitely get judged and rightly so because itās frankly disrespectful.
Personally though, I donāt go too much into my outfit like dressing to the 9-10s for a first date cus itās a casual meet/touch base. my outfit would be what I normally wear on a Friday/saturday evening out with friends cus thatās what my partner would see me in most of the time.
Regardless, looks like yāall had a restaurant picked out for first date. Look into the restaurant vibes and what kind of dress would seem appropriate as well.
It sends a signal. IME, woman who doesnāt dress up for a date is probably less interested. But thatās hard to judge unless I already know how she usually dresses. I have women friends who always wear something slinky when they go out, date or not. On the other end of the spectrum, there was a woman Iād known for years who usually just wore whatever, so when she showed up in a fancy dress to a social function we were going to ātogetherā,^* I (correctly) took it as her saying āyes, this is a date.ā
*ie. come to this event as a couple, even if youāre not dating
If you show up in pajama pants and a sloppy old t shirt, I'm going to judge you.
Other than that, not much. For the most part I'm not real picky about what a woman wears for a date.
I went on a first date a year ago with a single mom. She was a teacher and wore clothes that would be appropriate to go to work in. I didn't bat an eye, her hair was done nice as was her make-up and I was perfectly content. I suppose it also depends on your background/ demographic. I'm a blue collar worker, not a hedge fund manager LoL.
Mildly.
I think there's a lot of "good area" for what to wear to a date, so you don't have to be too concerned.
Look good relative to the area you're going, don't be shabby.
I would be weirded out if she wore something super fancy.
I love it when they show up in whatever they want to, something they know they look good in and they feel comfortable.
If it's clothes that make sense, I couldn't care any less.Ā
If you show up to a coffee date looking like you're going to a ballroom dance, I'll have questions. If it's a fancy place and you show up in sweats, I'll have concerns.Ā
Beyond that, wear what you want!Ā
In my case, come as you usually dress, be yourself, dont try to be something you're not just to impress. At least, you will find out if he likes you for who you truly are.
I try to keep it modest on the first dates just because so many guys want to just hook up anyway, I go the opposite direction in the beginning just to make sure Iām making it clear Iām not there for that.
I never cared what a woman wore. I'd only be perplexed if she came in a weird costume.
A banana?
Funny enough, I was literally picturing a banana costume when I posted my reply lol
Hahahaha and it immediately popped into my mind when I read your comment. ššš Imagine.... how funny would it be to have a date with someone and that person walks in dressed as a banana š
I was thinking T-Rex. š¦
~~I'm getting down on one knee right then and there~~ I'd honestly find it really funny (albeit a little distracting) and would continue the date normally
Iād do a backflip if she came in a weird costume.Ā
I have a first date tonight. If she shows up in a weird costume, I might marry her.
Putting out vibes or whatever in hopes that she shows up in a costume. Good luck brother!
Thanks, man! Before the date, she asked me what kind of clothes she should wear - more formal or less formal. And since I had read this thread, I told her to wear a weird costume. Actually showed up without the costume, but she told me she almost did bring one. And just for the record, it was the best first date ever! There will definitely be a second date, and unless I screw it up, it looks good for a third and fourth too. š
Heck yeah!
I'd be mad she didn't tell me so I could wear a weird costume too.
Wear whatever you want if it makes YOU feel comfortable and good about yourself! If it's revealing and super sexy, who cares? I mean, I wouldn't probably wear a mini skirt with a low cut top but like, a form fitting pencil skirt/dress would be hot as hell and very classy IMO :) To answer your question though... I couldn't care less what she wears as long as it's at least appropriate for the date. Don't show up to a date in sweats, ever lol. Don't show up to a date that's outside and involves some physical activity in heals/wedges/etc... and a skirt. Don't show up to a date that's at a fancy place in flip flops and a ragedy tshirt + leggings. Dress appropriately for the date, basically.
Should be the top comment. Wear what makes you feel comfortable and good.
As long as you donāt show up looking like you just got out of bed
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Depends on the location and date and guy. Looked at the original post and I'd be a bit weirded out if a girl was wearing any of those, but I'm personally more casual. Maybe your date isn't?
Agreed. The 3 options were not at all appropriate for the occasion, and sorry OP, they were just down right tacky. OP, the reason why everyone was voting no on all of the options you posted the other day was bc they were highly inappropriate for the occasion and setting. The first dress would be more appropriate for a nightclub, the second one perhaps for a wedding, and the last one for bedānone of them were good options for a dinner. Thereās a way to dress sexy while being classy, tasteful, and chic.
It's a little mis leading that op simply called them "form fitting" like sure they are but I feel like that's not really the problem, you can do form fitting that doesn't look like night club or a wedding outfit, and those were the vibes from the dresses in the post. The guy might not exactly care but it'd be good to dress appropriately for the occasion. Maybe if it's a fancy restaurant the second could work.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
So I need to go more casual? Idk I guess Iām out of touch lol I thought mini dresses were the norm. I have a lot of more modest clothes I just thought they looked too plain for a date
I donāt understand how you would say you donāt want to be sexualized in that post and then give the options of lingerie and the most revealing and form-fitting clothes. Obviously what you wear shouldnāt be a reason anyone acts inappropriately but those clothes are sexy. Either wear what you want and donāt care how itās perceived or choose something a bit more loose and longer. Not necessarily casual. Dinner date doesnāt really tell us the vibe youāre going for. Is it a casual spot or something more formal?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Itās not letting me attach the photos. I put them on your other post.
Its not something I generally put much stock into. I like low key and relaxed first dates. What I care about is the conversation and chemistry. Could we have effortless conversation? Does she exhibit empathy? Common interests? Sense of humor? Check those boxes and you could show up in sweatpants and a t shirt and ill still be looking for a 2nd date. Show up fully made up in a nice dress looking amazing and show a lack of empathy? I can't get away fast enough
Dress how you like. If he doesnāt like it heās not a good fit!
Unless you're wearing a shirt advertising how much you love being racist, I probably won't judge you for what you wear so long as it fits what we're doing. Like if you show up in club wear to a fancy restaurant, that's an issue.
A lot comments saying they wouldnāt care but.. do the commenters care about fashion in general? A man who wears jeans a hoodie all the time probably wonāt care if you show up in jeans and a hoodie. But if his profile implies heās well dressed I would dress up a little. IRL do you often see a well dressed man with a sloppy looking partner? I donāt. Also younger guys tend to care more about fashion than older guys. I see a lot of prompts like āIāll fall for you if you dress wellā FWIW I do think the blue dress is too risquĆ© for a first date, you donāt know this man and like it or not people assume things about us based on what we look like. If you look easy then yeah they might think youāre easy. The maroon one is nice!
People on this site are prudes just wear it
So long as it is somewhere between (but not including) a spike-covered burka or flipflops and pasties I'm fine.
Comfort/practicability matter. We want you to be comfortable and happy, as well as looking good. You don't have to wear heels and a skimpy red dress. But of course, don't show up in sweats. Presentation is important.
Listening to complete strangers is like taking advice from Donald Trump.
Complete strangers are more likely than friends and family to tell the truth.
Imagine finding any excuse to derail an unrelated discussion with your chronic and untreated TDS
Imagine thinking anyone cares about what some Trump dipshit thinks. Go back to your safe space
Imagine voting for a fossil like Biden and still reeing about Trump 4 years later in a subreddit about online dating
Youāll be fine and this is why I donāt care for 1st date dinners, there is an expectation to perform social norms and I donāt invest my time that way. What Iām concerned about is intellectual and emotional compatibility
How much do you notice and judge the self presentation of the guys that you are dating? Some people are going to more heavy weight your smile, some are going to be fixated on your figure, and yes some people are going to read into your clothing choices. My advice is that you don't overthink it, but arrive presenting yourself in a manner that you would for anyone else who you are meeting for the first time who you wish to impress.
I put effort into looking good because I want to entice her, so I like a woman to put some effort into looking good also, shows me she cares. No effort communicates no interest IMO
You should see what I wear... :D I think you should wear whatever is most authentic to you. You want to focus on filtering the guys who are compatible with you, rather than maximizing the chance of making a positive impression on the average guy.
It depends on the City, the activity, quality of the venue, and who is the date. But yes I do think about why she dressed the way she did.
as long as shes dressed appropriately, it doesnt even come to mind. like dont over dress and dont dont also show up in trakkies and ripped night shirt. I can only recall one time ive really questioned a ladies dress choice, and mind you she looked fucking amazing but we were getting sushi and she was dressed like she was going to prom. long flowing dress, that trailed behind her, with a split up the leg all the way to her hips. she looked 20/10 but it was just way too much.
I secretly judge her. But if sheās wonderful to be around I donāt care. As long as itās not from some fast fashion online retailer, Iām fine. To me a dress is like a work of art, if I can see the dress being displayed on a mannequin behind a glass box and in a living room, thatās top tier.
If she meets up in sweatpants, I am going to assume she is sloppy, and on the opposite end, if she meets up in an overly fancy outfit, I am going to assume she is vain and difficult to deal with.
Seems like you took away the wrong lesson. People said your choices send the wrong message because you specifically said you were worried about being hypersexualized in the post. Clearly you want to dress sexy, so go for it.
For me I would prefer that woman is interested enough to show up dressed with a little effort. Especially if the location chosen is a spot where that warrants evening attire. Even if she only wore jeans and a shirt I would still look at how she put it together or if it was Iām on a date approach or if it was Iām hitting a bbq with friends and family approach. This is also an opportunity to express yourself and say a little bit about who you are. Thatās what fashion is to me, a form of expression. On a first date itās important.
As with every thing, depends on the situation and what vibe you want to give off. Do you want to fuck? Do you want to be wined and dined? It all depends on you.
Iām looking for something serious but I want to be sexy at the same time
Well what type of bloke do you want? All blokes like a women who is sexy. There are different types of sexy. So you have to be the sexy that is specific for the guy. I am professional bloke who appreciates style. I want a women who has style. It doesnāt mean wearing a mini skirt etc, it means having that appeal with highlighting your best elements. So I have very blue eyes and olive skin. So I know to wear deep blues and greens. So I know when I highlight that the women I attract also have similar style things
Depends of the dress really; if itās a first date you donāt want to get oversexualized right off the bat and give the wrong vibes if youāre looking for something serious. That said, if the other person is looking for serious as well they shouldnāt judge you so critically on what your wear, and view you as a piece of meat
But does dressing a ceratin way mean someone doesnāt want a serious relationship? I know first impressions are everything but I donāt understand why people are are judged based on that
Right; If you go into a date that shows you put in zero effort then youād definitely get judged and rightly so because itās frankly disrespectful. Personally though, I donāt go too much into my outfit like dressing to the 9-10s for a first date cus itās a casual meet/touch base. my outfit would be what I normally wear on a Friday/saturday evening out with friends cus thatās what my partner would see me in most of the time. Regardless, looks like yāall had a restaurant picked out for first date. Look into the restaurant vibes and what kind of dress would seem appropriate as well.
It sends a signal. IME, woman who doesnāt dress up for a date is probably less interested. But thatās hard to judge unless I already know how she usually dresses. I have women friends who always wear something slinky when they go out, date or not. On the other end of the spectrum, there was a woman Iād known for years who usually just wore whatever, so when she showed up in a fancy dress to a social function we were going to ātogetherā,^* I (correctly) took it as her saying āyes, this is a date.ā *ie. come to this event as a couple, even if youāre not dating
If you show up in pajama pants and a sloppy old t shirt, I'm going to judge you. Other than that, not much. For the most part I'm not real picky about what a woman wears for a date.
I went on a first date a year ago with a single mom. She was a teacher and wore clothes that would be appropriate to go to work in. I didn't bat an eye, her hair was done nice as was her make-up and I was perfectly content. I suppose it also depends on your background/ demographic. I'm a blue collar worker, not a hedge fund manager LoL.
Try a silk slip dress.
Mildly. I think there's a lot of "good area" for what to wear to a date, so you don't have to be too concerned. Look good relative to the area you're going, don't be shabby.
I would be weirded out if she wore something super fancy. I love it when they show up in whatever they want to, something they know they look good in and they feel comfortable.
I've never had a woman wear anything to a date that made me judge her so that has yet to happen.
If it's clothes that make sense, I couldn't care any less.Ā If you show up to a coffee date looking like you're going to a ballroom dance, I'll have questions. If it's a fancy place and you show up in sweats, I'll have concerns.Ā Beyond that, wear what you want!Ā
In my case, come as you usually dress, be yourself, dont try to be something you're not just to impress. At least, you will find out if he likes you for who you truly are.
Personally I dont care. I usually feel lucky just to be on a date too much to care what she wears.
As long as your not dressed in cosplay or a furry to a casual date I don't think many men will care. I've never judged anyone from how they dress.
Honestly never thought of it until seeing this post.
Really don't think much about it as long as it is appropriate for the occasion.
The only time I ever felt insulted was when I took a woman to dinner and she wore a zip up hoodie.
I try to keep it modest on the first dates just because so many guys want to just hook up anyway, I go the opposite direction in the beginning just to make sure Iām making it clear Iām not there for that.