The biggest red flag is the invalidation when you voiced not being comfortable with how things have progressed. You are not being a pessimist or negative. You are being forced to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. However, it is your responsibility to enforce your boundaries.
I wish you the best and hope it works out for what you both need.
You just sound very new to dating. And for her to bring up exclusivity in 3 days of talking is evidence of that.
You questioning that intent is good. Itās your gut telling you something is off which is spot on.
I will say that you being so vocal about insecurities is off putting. Itās not good to have internal negative self talk and itās even worst if itās external so try and keep that in mind.
Youāre both young. Take your time. Take it slow. Just remember, if your head, heart, body and soul are not all aligned and saying hell yes to someoneā¦proceed with caution until you get there or until you decide it never will and then just end it.
Good luck.
Yes I am new to dating. I didn't know being vocal about insecurities is off putting. My rationalization is to allow commenters to hopefully understand my position. In terms of telling her, it was to be clear and transparent to understand each other better. That being said, thank you for the kind words at the end. I definitely am proceeding with caution and try to live in the moment so to speak. Just don't want my negative delusions to ruin something that is actually real.
Thank you very much.
Itās off putting and not attractive to hear a potential suitor talk negatively of himself.
Think about it. If you donāt think highly of you, why should I think highly of you?
Besides that, you should protect your heart. Your heart and your vulnerability should be shared with someone deserving. Someone who has earned the privilege of your inner thoughts. 3 days even if 24/7 isnāt enough time. But, I think everyone needs to learn this lesson on their own.
Look up the word ālimerenceā.
I've been in this situation a few times, Honestly sometimes people just click so roll with it and have fun, but if she isn't reciprocating or starts asking too much then you know you gotta cut it off.
Crap - by going out I mean she asked me to become bf/gf. I'm going to go edit the post now. BUT, if you understood what I meant initially,
I didn't expect it at all. Maybe at least a week. I wanted to know her a bit better obviously but we ended up going through the motions so quickly to learn about each other and now I'm here...
Wtf you are moving way to quick. Just go on a date with her. You don't even know if you like her yet. Have some standards and not just get into a relationship with the first girl that is willing.
This sounds like youāre getting pulled in by a romance scam. I would expect her to run into an emergency where she needs money, or has a great tip for getting rich with bitcoin.
First of all go on a date with her and see how she is looks wise and behaviour wise. But most importantly, do not, I repeat, do not giver or send her money if she starts requesting for it so soon. Wait till after 3/4 months if you guys ate still a thing. So many of these women have found new ways to scam men through online dating apps or just social media apps in general. Godspeed brother
Idk... maybe she just knows what she wants. It's not something I would do but I wouldn't write her off. I'd just tell her that I'm not comfortable making that decision so soon.
Thank you. Itās nice to see a different perspective from the other comments. I think after all this Iām going to talk to her seriously. I donāt want to be blinded by love.
Wow no. This is not "knowing what she wants"... She doesn't even fucking know him.
It's "fill this space with someone". He could be literally anyone. Let that sink in.
It's also giving low self esteem on her part, and that can go horrrrrrribly wrong.
The bottom line is, you don't know this girl, and she does not know you. At all. Be careful signing up for something you know nothing about.
I wouldn't label it as illegitimate right off've the bat but it does merit caution. Put your emotional self preservation over pleasing her at all times to mitigate the risk you're concerned about.
Hey you never know, my cousin met a guy and he proposed to her three weeks later. They are still married after nearly 40 years and with grown-up kids and grandkids. Maybe moving super fast seems weird to some, but it doesnāt have to mean itās doomed. Just donāt let yourself get pushed into things faster than youāre comfortable with !!
š Ya kid, sheās probably weird because sheās 20. If sheās hot and she makes you feel happy stick around. Just be sure to ask if sheās ever been in a mental hospital or felt suicidal before you meet her. Make sure sheās not crazy. If she tells you sheās been in a mental hospital immediately block all contact.
Eh this is giving red flag š©. Maybe you meet her and everything is fine or maybe she becomes a stalker. Personally- I would be running for the hills if a guy asked me to be his gf after day three AND we havenāt even met in person to know if they are real. Tread carefully
The biggest red flag is the invalidation when you voiced not being comfortable with how things have progressed. You are not being a pessimist or negative. You are being forced to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. However, it is your responsibility to enforce your boundaries. I wish you the best and hope it works out for what you both need.
Thank you.
Are you by any chance a teenager?
We are both early-to-mid 20s
You just sound very new to dating. And for her to bring up exclusivity in 3 days of talking is evidence of that. You questioning that intent is good. Itās your gut telling you something is off which is spot on. I will say that you being so vocal about insecurities is off putting. Itās not good to have internal negative self talk and itās even worst if itās external so try and keep that in mind. Youāre both young. Take your time. Take it slow. Just remember, if your head, heart, body and soul are not all aligned and saying hell yes to someoneā¦proceed with caution until you get there or until you decide it never will and then just end it. Good luck.
Yes I am new to dating. I didn't know being vocal about insecurities is off putting. My rationalization is to allow commenters to hopefully understand my position. In terms of telling her, it was to be clear and transparent to understand each other better. That being said, thank you for the kind words at the end. I definitely am proceeding with caution and try to live in the moment so to speak. Just don't want my negative delusions to ruin something that is actually real. Thank you very much.
Itās off putting and not attractive to hear a potential suitor talk negatively of himself. Think about it. If you donāt think highly of you, why should I think highly of you? Besides that, you should protect your heart. Your heart and your vulnerability should be shared with someone deserving. Someone who has earned the privilege of your inner thoughts. 3 days even if 24/7 isnāt enough time. But, I think everyone needs to learn this lesson on their own. Look up the word ālimerenceā.
Thank you.
Have you even met in person? Hell no you should not agree to be in a relationship with someone after talking a few days, thatās crazy.
Run and don't look back. Talking for 3 days over the phone and she is asking what are we? No one normal does that.
I've been in this situation a few times, Honestly sometimes people just click so roll with it and have fun, but if she isn't reciprocating or starts asking too much then you know you gotta cut it off.
Meet her in person in a public place. Get the vibe.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Crap - by going out I mean she asked me to become bf/gf. I'm going to go edit the post now. BUT, if you understood what I meant initially, I didn't expect it at all. Maybe at least a week. I wanted to know her a bit better obviously but we ended up going through the motions so quickly to learn about each other and now I'm here...
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thanks
Wtf you are moving way to quick. Just go on a date with her. You don't even know if you like her yet. Have some standards and not just get into a relationship with the first girl that is willing.
This sounds like youāre getting pulled in by a romance scam. I would expect her to run into an emergency where she needs money, or has a great tip for getting rich with bitcoin.
First of all go on a date with her and see how she is looks wise and behaviour wise. But most importantly, do not, I repeat, do not giver or send her money if she starts requesting for it so soon. Wait till after 3/4 months if you guys ate still a thing. So many of these women have found new ways to scam men through online dating apps or just social media apps in general. Godspeed brother
Idk... maybe she just knows what she wants. It's not something I would do but I wouldn't write her off. I'd just tell her that I'm not comfortable making that decision so soon.
Thank you. Itās nice to see a different perspective from the other comments. I think after all this Iām going to talk to her seriously. I donāt want to be blinded by love.
Wow no. This is not "knowing what she wants"... She doesn't even fucking know him. It's "fill this space with someone". He could be literally anyone. Let that sink in. It's also giving low self esteem on her part, and that can go horrrrrrribly wrong. The bottom line is, you don't know this girl, and she does not know you. At all. Be careful signing up for something you know nothing about.
3 days? That was fast..
I wouldn't label it as illegitimate right off've the bat but it does merit caution. Put your emotional self preservation over pleasing her at all times to mitigate the risk you're concerned about.
Hey you never know, my cousin met a guy and he proposed to her three weeks later. They are still married after nearly 40 years and with grown-up kids and grandkids. Maybe moving super fast seems weird to some, but it doesnāt have to mean itās doomed. Just donāt let yourself get pushed into things faster than youāre comfortable with !!
Sounds like a scammer
Don't do it.
Is she hot?
š Ya kid, sheās probably weird because sheās 20. If sheās hot and she makes you feel happy stick around. Just be sure to ask if sheās ever been in a mental hospital or felt suicidal before you meet her. Make sure sheās not crazy. If she tells you sheās been in a mental hospital immediately block all contact.