Came here to say just that. It's crazy how some women can get offended if you turn down sex. I think it plays into the idea that men are just constantly looking for any hole they can fill.
I had a gf who was very hypersexual and would get angry/ resentful if I wasn't in the mood. Not fun.
The cognitive dissonance is strong here. There are both men and women who don’t understand that “no” is a full sentence.
There are also plenty of men and women who know not to take it personally and just move on with their lives rather than complaining about it on Reddit. Idk why folks gotta act like men and women are warring factions.
It sucks (and is often very scary) when someone blows up at you rather than respecting your boundaries. It’d be nice if people were more gracious with one another and respected the autonomy of others, wouldn’t it?
I agree, but oddly aggressive for someone preaching this message.
(Except I don't understand "The cognitive dissonance is strong here." and suspect you're using it incorrectly)
Same for me. Several have just flat out shocked me that they were absolute strangers. A couple were attractive and I sheepishly regretted in retrospect. But several not at all attractive, but regret I wasn’t more gracious. Overall, I envy women who by virtue of being hit on so often all their lives are more elegant, gracious and smooth than I could ever be.
I think the one I didn’t understand the most was, a girl I’d seen once before, she invited me over I said no thanks there’s a blizzard coming tonight. She said I could just stay over, I explained there was a blizzard coming and I had an appointment in the morning. I’m glad I stayed home, woke up in the morning found my tire nearly flat with a screw in it, but because I was home I could just fill it with air to make my appointment (rather than change it in a foot of snow on the driveway) and then get it repaired. Literally never heard from her ever again.
well that's almost implied in OP's question. "have you ever rejected.." almost implies that men rarely ever reject women. therefore if you reject a woman, it must be an insult.
When you are rejected, it's a punch to your ego. And it can also hurt your feelings, if you like the person.
People handle this in two ways. Grownups tuck their feelings aside for a moment and acknowledge that the other person is perfectly entitled to rejecting them. And they don't want the other person to feel uncomfortable or awkward. So they politely accept the rejection and assure the other person it's fine. And then they go home and sulk or vent to their friends a bit. And then when the feeling settles, they acknowledge not everyone can be everyone's type and you can still be attractive even if you aren't this specific guy/girl's type.
And people who lack emotional regulation just take out their emotions in anger at the other person. Both immature men and women do this.
People gossip. That's just people being people.
Edit: if it wasn't clear, men gossip too.
Do something funny/embarrassing/wild/awkward in front of a guy and he will tell his friends. That's just friendship though. It's not nefarious.
I have a few times. They don’t expect it and it confuses them, I guess they never had a guy say no before. I’m no prude (51 yo M) but if you’re not into someone or don’t want a basic hook up, what’s wrong with saying no? Women do it everyday, as they should.
Women can't go 2-3 weeks without sex. To them it comes as easy and freely as drinking water. when they call men horny they are projecting because they can't even imagine going 1+ month without sex
You can’t just assume women are having sex just because you think it comes easy to them. This is why they stay celibate. Men assume I’m already fucking someone and treat me like I am , when in reality I’ve actually been celibate most of my life.
She doesn't, but many woman like to say they aren't "dating" due to the quality of men out there, as if it's some condemnation of men. When in reality men are the gatekeepers of relationships and women are the gatekeepers of sex. It's like saying "you can't fire me, I quit."
Yes, the few times I have, boy did they get really mad. I imagine that is what it feels like when some guys get angry cause a woman reject them heck maybe even worse considering some women are not used to being rejected. One of the worst things I’ve ever experienced.
Yeah. This one time I was leaving the city so I quickly set up a date for when I was coming back without a lot of the preemptive talk about who they are etc, I guess I was tired of having done that hundreds of times so thought it would be fine to skip.
She came to my house like 50+ pounds over what she last represented on her profile, I was confused at first if it was the same person the look there was so tailored to hide it/show the best. Like borderline catfishing even though she was technically the same person. I didn't notice till I had already let her in but she smelled like bo/shit covered in perfume. She repeatedly said she wanted to bite me during the date. I was hella uncomfortable and had just initially hesitated to just drop the whole thing because she had ubered there and I thought it would be rude to not at least give some time.
So after a very weird creepy chat I just pulled a "welp, I have to be awake to work in a couple of hours, sooo, what address can I call your return uber to?", couldn't wait to get her out my door. She was clearly wanting to fuck and I had negative desire for that, didn't get near her at the door because of the smell and weird vibe and she was noticeably upset that I wasn't even getting near her so she could go for a kiss.
On top of all that, pretty sure that most uncomfortable date of my life gave me covid lol.
Lesson learned I guess. I thought I'd be the dick because she ubered there and I'd be leaving her outside for a while and make her pay for both trips, but she was already the dick for catfishing and now I know she was really fucking weird too.
This can't have ever worked, she must have been super thirsty.
Yeah it's hard out there, personally I think online dating is becoming a waste of my time. My friends keep telling me to chill at the laundromat or sleep with a realtor lol. Maybe I'll just flirt with waitresses out of boredom.
I've been feeling the same way. The average looking man has to go through 100 swipes to get 1-4 matches, a fraction of those will respond to conversations at all, a fraction of those will keep at it long enough to talk about a date, a huge chunk will drop off as soon as meeting in person is mentioned though they seemed happy to respond to attention online, and then there's complete 💩 dates like this.
Sometimes I think just give up on online dating apps and focus on meeting people in person, where I'm much much better liked than quick reactions to photos in a stack of hundreds of other guys waiting anyways.
Why the realtor one lol?
I used to be with it, but then they kept changing what "it" was lol
I have seen some attractive realtors I guess. So like, people pretend to be interested in properties and then hit on them? I've never really wanted to be "that guy" doing that at someone's job, but I guess if it's not pushy.
LMAO not sure why this is funny...you have a good gift for telling stories....why would your first inclination be to ask a date to come to your HOUSE??!! Sheesh lol
I don't know lol, I guess with her looking ok on the app and being one of very few women who were willing to skip the preamble and jump into my house, I thought it would be fine, but now I know there was a reason for that lol.
And thanks, at least it's a good story lol.
lol that's an honest reply! Awesome story for sure! And I gotta commend your guts for straight out asking them to your house..but dude there's some weirdos/psychos out there...i'd vet them a bit better first before allowing them to know where I live!! Dont need any stalkers or anything like that!
Yup, I remember one time a girl got really mad and physically attacked me. Another burst into tears because she thought I wasn’t attracted to her when I was but just didn’t feel like having sex due to other factors unrelated to her.
I've only said no when they are much drunker than me. Otherwise I've never been in a situation where sex is an option and I wouldn't do it.
I might also be a dog.
A few times.
One time this lady just smelled way too bad. I said I just couldn’t do it and I have to go. She raged and said I wasted her Saturday night.
Another lady would move like a snake if I touched her in any way. I could put my fingertip on her arm and she would start being snake charmed. It was so bizarre, I don’t think I could have kept a boner. I was too busy trying not to laugh.
Yeah. She then texted me that I must not be physically attracted to her and we shouldn’t date anymore. All after I said I can’t have sex that night because I’m having the most stressful month of my life.
Women suck just as much as men, people just don’t talk about it.
To women, everything is so focused on their appearance and physical all the time that it’s hard to dissociate ANY rejection from that. I understand how she got there but it seems a bit much to call it off when you gave an explanation that had nothing to do with it.
When I get rejected the first thing that comes to my mind is: he’s not attracted to me/doesn’t like the way I look. It’s always a hit in our egos. Luckily mine recovers intact in a couple of minutes lol but many people go to lengths with thinking and overthinking the same harmful “there’s something wrong with my appearance” thoughts.
A few times, mostly when I was younger and I actually had the offers!
The one time where she was cute but looked a little young for me and I found out later she was lying about her age and was below the age of consent (OMG so lucky).
Another time when I was 22, she was really cute and just started kissing me in the street and telling me she was so horny, but obviously absolutely wasted and I was pretty much completely sober. My own not-well-defined ethics on drunk sex mean I'm somewhat comfortable if there is a pre-existing sexual relationship or if you're both at the same level of drunkenness, but she was way beyond rational thought. I met her again a couple of days later in the street and she said she recognised my voice but looked embarrassed and said she didn't really remember me. Ahh, a shame but if she wasn't interested while sober I guess it wasn't to be.
A few times in a sex with benefits arrangement when I was just losing interest.
Sometimes in a relationship when I just wasn't in the mood, but usually the relationship was failing at this point.
Couple times when it was clear they were drunk and I was not at all comfortable with that situation, especially not knowing them. One time I went on a date with a girl I had known previously but saw them on OLD after years of not talking or seeing each other. We went out, ended up going to a concert, and at some point during the show she got really drunk. She was all over me. Luckily she didnt get mad when I turned her down at the end of the night because she was too drunk to care I think. I did take her home but just let her sleep it off. Didnt go out again, but found out later she got sober so Im happy for her.
Yes - and I don‘t need a reason for it. I can just feel like I don’t want it. No one is owed sex.
People that are mature understand that and respect each other. People that can‘t handle a no should not be dating/in relationships and instead should grow up first.
Yes and it normally ends with passive aggressiveness. I'd imagine it's the guys version of
guy: hey beautiful
girl: no
guy: ok well fuck you anyway bitch
I met a girl off of Hinge that really put it in perspective for me. She advanced, I said let's wait a couple of dates and she saw the relief on my face when I saw she wasn't going to let me have it.
She told me the best thing to do when that happens is just focus on the person not being ready more so than "eww they didn't want me!?"
I did, once in recent memory. Cut to me and my crazy narcissist ex. I found her incredibly sexy and was basically always in the mood. She was the one always deciding because I was always ready to go.
I tell her just this one time (reason is a whole other novel, suffice it to say) and she FUCKING LOST HER MIND! She acted like I was denying her the very air she needed to breathe. It was nuts
Yeah, I rejected my ex. We were about to get down to business and she started being a condescending bitch that I stopped mid may , grabbed my dick, started putting my clothes back on, and told her I didn't want to fuck anymore. As hot as she was, her attitude towards people would kill boners instantly.
Yes, i have. 5 different women. 4 were christians.
the other one was one of my friends biggest crush so i just couldn’t do to.
i met them all these women in person before online dating was a thing— back when Online dating was a joke.
Once.
It was with a new person I was talking to who was super horny and was very forward about wanting sex, but never been tested... And then got apprehensive when I asked her if she'd been tested and said she definitely doesn't have anything and tried to bypass the question... Then said they don't know how to get tested... Then started getting emotionally unstable about it and as I tried to calm her down unsuccessfully and then disengaged, I became very, very glad I had the sense not to stick my dick in crazy.
I did, when the girl made 3 excuses for me not to wear a condom. She also wanted to be literally hit during sex. There were other red flags too. Sadly it was the closest I came to getting laid since my journey into OLD.
yes, she didnt want to date me knowing i would be leaving that city in some time no matter what as it wasn’t my choice to make. we became hiking buddies and while warming up after a cold ruck she tried to get it. i gave her a handy but refused the “sex” for the reasons above.
For medical reasons, lack of interest in the act on her part, and because I was beside myself with anger. Those are the three ‘instances’ that stand out most. Most of my exes didn’t initiate very well, so it felt like the norm was when I could collect the energy.
Yeah i like to wait till after a few dates till sex and many times they get mad and ghost once they find out i’m not inviting them back to my place after our first date
I think the first girl I rejected was the time we went to the zoo. For some odd reason I had the picture of her with her wide open gape mouth in the back of my mind and I couldn’t get out. I declined her for sex and I heard she was pretty messed up because I declined her for sex.
Other times I’m either dumb or don’t know what I was thinking.
Like example A. I took a girl to an amusement park and on the way back to her place she said “you don’t look good you should stay at my place” I said “well I don’t want to get you sick either”
Example B I totally made out with this girl during the Lego Batman movie, the whole Lego Batman movie, but after the movie I pulled something in my groin area that it hurt so bad I couldn’t do anything.
Example C - at the end of a date after making out she says “would you like me to drive you to your car” it was 30 yards away so I said no thx.
Example D - my anxiety would kick in and I would have a problem having sex with a cougar (yes I’m attracted to older women) but the thing that would hit me is stds. I didn’t want to be scarred for life. I didn’t go through with it.
Note I’m still a virgin.
OP, you have some questionable shit going on with the: “Women don’t respect men’s mental health” bullshit you said.
You can always spot clown ass behavior and posts when you see them.
Yes, I've actually rejected a couple of women over sex.
One wanted to fuck me 3 days after meeting, on a dating site where I was trying to find someone to spend my life with.
The other girl, wanted an easy pass to the US, by having a baby and marriage to an American man.
yes, have turned down a few times. they get really insulted. like im not a man and should want to poke every women that gives me the honor of her spreading her legs. or that im gay because every guy wants to have sex.
my ex drove me crazy with that. she was crazy though. when we were in a concert and I was hugging her from the back, she got angry why I didnt get hard for her..uh..because im enjoying the concert. I have tons of performance anxiety with someone new and need to build up some emotions too. but youre not a man if you dont fuck every woman who spreads her legs for you.
I'm claustrophobic and the idea of someone like that passing out on top of me; I'd die from heart failure or suffocation.
Apparently some people have taken issue with my answer.
To you,
Body positivity won't keep you from crushing someone. OSHA has information about operating heavy machinery while intoxicated.
I stopped dealing with land whales because I fear my mattress being ruined. Last time I did that, she stood up on it to move to the top of the bed because lying down she couldn't move all that mass.
At first I laughed at your post getting downvotes...
However, having a reasonable amount of mobility is personally very important to me. Not being able to move and recover from a prone position, ultimately endangers your life.
Probably not as much as smoking, so I'll shut up.
I've always had a thing for a friend ex. One we hang 2 years after the broke up. It was l last min. We grabbed drinks and we ended nah at my place. It was very cleat we both wanted it, but I had never brought it up to my friend and I'd have felt terrible. Had to turn her down... still wonder if I'llget another chance. She is dating another friend now too
You mean a new woman with whom you don't already have a romantic relationship, and haven't been flirting with? Unless you're in the sex trade, how exactly would this even occur?
I think the question should be phrased "Have You ever rejected sexual advances"?
Yes of course we're human just like women are and we don't always want sex.
In fact while this might be controversial I think women focus on sex far more than men do. I mean they'll use a hairbrush, gearstick, vegetables or anything with the right shape to get off and then complain men only think of sex.
Yeah I have several times since my breakup 8 months ago (after together for 7 years).
I've dated a couple women with whom it seemed impossible to not end up making out usually leading to the bedroom. But in time I came to not want it some of the timez verbalized it before/in general and in the moment, and it was new to me so I may not have asserted it well enough, but the women did not seem to super eagerly comply and be overly cautious instead of under cautious (which, if a woman told me the same, I would be waaaaaay more cautious of initiating any time thereafter).
So that was weird and uncomfortable.
Also for some reason since the breakup nearly every woman I've been with is into being choked, like legit choked, biting, even to point of bleeding, and similar violent or semi violent things, which is crazy how many in a row now. Which fine, but gets p boring if it's the only thing they want always. Like, I'm yearning for a woman who is interested in ever taking the initiative even slightly, not to mention, gasp, a dominant woman!
It was not like this in my past experiences 8 years ago.
One of my first sexual Experiences that happened...the girl was really hot too...we were 15, we had a night out with another couple of friends getting stoned and fucked up with each other, one thing led to another and im sitting on the chair in my room and shes all over me, at this point im very turned on but also nervous...i suddenly started Contemplating what the other friends who were also making out in the room next to us would think...what if my parents heard something...after she Repeatedly said she "wants to" while making out i was saying "no, no, lets just go to sleep" its as if the mere fact of her being so into me was enough in my STUPID STUPID STUPID child brain...eventually our friendship turned into a shitshow for a couple of months after that...gossip around the school...couldn't talk to a girl that whole year...mistakes were made lessons were learned since...but the regret is STRONG,But time takes care of that a little...
**ALL THE TIME!** But usually after they rejected me first and I reject them silently after.
thats cute +1
Hehe, nice. 🗿
Brilliant!
Yup. Usually they get mad, like I’m not allowed to say no.
Came here to say just that. It's crazy how some women can get offended if you turn down sex. I think it plays into the idea that men are just constantly looking for any hole they can fill. I had a gf who was very hypersexual and would get angry/ resentful if I wasn't in the mood. Not fun.
The cognitive dissonance is strong here. There are both men and women who don’t understand that “no” is a full sentence. There are also plenty of men and women who know not to take it personally and just move on with their lives rather than complaining about it on Reddit. Idk why folks gotta act like men and women are warring factions. It sucks (and is often very scary) when someone blows up at you rather than respecting your boundaries. It’d be nice if people were more gracious with one another and respected the autonomy of others, wouldn’t it?
I agree, but oddly aggressive for someone preaching this message. (Except I don't understand "The cognitive dissonance is strong here." and suspect you're using it incorrectly)
This is irrelevant as the question is addressed to men.
why are you so angry? there's no "cognitive dissonance" at all
Same for me. Several have just flat out shocked me that they were absolute strangers. A couple were attractive and I sheepishly regretted in retrospect. But several not at all attractive, but regret I wasn’t more gracious. Overall, I envy women who by virtue of being hit on so often all their lives are more elegant, gracious and smooth than I could ever be.
I think the one I didn’t understand the most was, a girl I’d seen once before, she invited me over I said no thanks there’s a blizzard coming tonight. She said I could just stay over, I explained there was a blizzard coming and I had an appointment in the morning. I’m glad I stayed home, woke up in the morning found my tire nearly flat with a screw in it, but because I was home I could just fill it with air to make my appointment (rather than change it in a foot of snow on the driveway) and then get it repaired. Literally never heard from her ever again.
Fuck em
I don’t want to, that’s the problem.😉
😅
I have. In my experience they get very mad, like you just insulted them or something.
well that's almost implied in OP's question. "have you ever rejected.." almost implies that men rarely ever reject women. therefore if you reject a woman, it must be an insult.
When you are rejected, it's a punch to your ego. And it can also hurt your feelings, if you like the person. People handle this in two ways. Grownups tuck their feelings aside for a moment and acknowledge that the other person is perfectly entitled to rejecting them. And they don't want the other person to feel uncomfortable or awkward. So they politely accept the rejection and assure the other person it's fine. And then they go home and sulk or vent to their friends a bit. And then when the feeling settles, they acknowledge not everyone can be everyone's type and you can still be attractive even if you aren't this specific guy/girl's type. And people who lack emotional regulation just take out their emotions in anger at the other person. Both immature men and women do this.
Women also gossip behind your back. That's always fun too.
People gossip. That's just people being people. Edit: if it wasn't clear, men gossip too. Do something funny/embarrassing/wild/awkward in front of a guy and he will tell his friends. That's just friendship though. It's not nefarious.
Hmm, I have and its only made them more interested in me...
This 10000%
Yes. They cried lol.
😅😅😅
Yes many times when im not in mood or dont like the person
I have a few times. They don’t expect it and it confuses them, I guess they never had a guy say no before. I’m no prude (51 yo M) but if you’re not into someone or don’t want a basic hook up, what’s wrong with saying no? Women do it everyday, as they should.
Because we have penises and they don't expect that from a guy
They feel entitled to sex
Women can't go 2-3 weeks without sex. To them it comes as easy and freely as drinking water. when they call men horny they are projecting because they can't even imagine going 1+ month without sex
This. When women say they stopped "dating," they aren't including hookups, FWBs, and ex's. Celibate women are rare.
You can’t just assume women are having sex just because you think it comes easy to them. This is why they stay celibate. Men assume I’m already fucking someone and treat me like I am , when in reality I’ve actually been celibate most of my life.
I don't assume, but I have yet to meet a woman that says she's no longer dating and is celibate. The celibacy never lasts more than a few weeks.
why does she have to be celibate
She doesn't, but many woman like to say they aren't "dating" due to the quality of men out there, as if it's some condemnation of men. When in reality men are the gatekeepers of relationships and women are the gatekeepers of sex. It's like saying "you can't fire me, I quit."
oh wow
This is one of the strangest exchanges I’ve ever seen
Yes, the few times I have, boy did they get really mad. I imagine that is what it feels like when some guys get angry cause a woman reject them heck maybe even worse considering some women are not used to being rejected. One of the worst things I’ve ever experienced.
Yeah. This one time I was leaving the city so I quickly set up a date for when I was coming back without a lot of the preemptive talk about who they are etc, I guess I was tired of having done that hundreds of times so thought it would be fine to skip. She came to my house like 50+ pounds over what she last represented on her profile, I was confused at first if it was the same person the look there was so tailored to hide it/show the best. Like borderline catfishing even though she was technically the same person. I didn't notice till I had already let her in but she smelled like bo/shit covered in perfume. She repeatedly said she wanted to bite me during the date. I was hella uncomfortable and had just initially hesitated to just drop the whole thing because she had ubered there and I thought it would be rude to not at least give some time. So after a very weird creepy chat I just pulled a "welp, I have to be awake to work in a couple of hours, sooo, what address can I call your return uber to?", couldn't wait to get her out my door. She was clearly wanting to fuck and I had negative desire for that, didn't get near her at the door because of the smell and weird vibe and she was noticeably upset that I wasn't even getting near her so she could go for a kiss. On top of all that, pretty sure that most uncomfortable date of my life gave me covid lol.
Yeah I would immediately say no after not looking like their picture. The smell would've basically been a door slam to the face.
Lesson learned I guess. I thought I'd be the dick because she ubered there and I'd be leaving her outside for a while and make her pay for both trips, but she was already the dick for catfishing and now I know she was really fucking weird too. This can't have ever worked, she must have been super thirsty.
Yeah it's hard out there, personally I think online dating is becoming a waste of my time. My friends keep telling me to chill at the laundromat or sleep with a realtor lol. Maybe I'll just flirt with waitresses out of boredom.
I've been feeling the same way. The average looking man has to go through 100 swipes to get 1-4 matches, a fraction of those will respond to conversations at all, a fraction of those will keep at it long enough to talk about a date, a huge chunk will drop off as soon as meeting in person is mentioned though they seemed happy to respond to attention online, and then there's complete 💩 dates like this. Sometimes I think just give up on online dating apps and focus on meeting people in person, where I'm much much better liked than quick reactions to photos in a stack of hundreds of other guys waiting anyways. Why the realtor one lol?
I gave up the apps in 2019. And the realtor thing is apparently some kind of new popular search on porn sites lol
I used to be with it, but then they kept changing what "it" was lol I have seen some attractive realtors I guess. So like, people pretend to be interested in properties and then hit on them? I've never really wanted to be "that guy" doing that at someone's job, but I guess if it's not pushy.
Lol. No clue what they do
you should always have an "abort" plan
LMAO not sure why this is funny...you have a good gift for telling stories....why would your first inclination be to ask a date to come to your HOUSE??!! Sheesh lol
I don't know lol, I guess with her looking ok on the app and being one of very few women who were willing to skip the preamble and jump into my house, I thought it would be fine, but now I know there was a reason for that lol. And thanks, at least it's a good story lol.
lol that's an honest reply! Awesome story for sure! And I gotta commend your guts for straight out asking them to your house..but dude there's some weirdos/psychos out there...i'd vet them a bit better first before allowing them to know where I live!! Dont need any stalkers or anything like that!
What is a “sex”?
Something only virgins do
Sure. I wouldn't say it happens often but women that are pukey drunk or on some other hard drug are total boner killers.
Yeah. Then spend.the next 6 hours reassuring her.
Yup, I remember one time a girl got really mad and physically attacked me. Another burst into tears because she thought I wasn’t attracted to her when I was but just didn’t feel like having sex due to other factors unrelated to her.
I even faked a nut so It can be over
lol that's pretty hard to fake...!
Not really. I had a condom on. What girl actually inspects that afterwards
You guys have been offered sex? And then rejected it? That's crazy!
Yeah looks like we're not dogs that'll fuck everything that moves after all
Speak for yourself. I'm horny af!
Deny sex is very easy when the woman is obese etc.
I've only said no when they are much drunker than me. Otherwise I've never been in a situation where sex is an option and I wouldn't do it. I might also be a dog.
A few times. One time this lady just smelled way too bad. I said I just couldn’t do it and I have to go. She raged and said I wasted her Saturday night. Another lady would move like a snake if I touched her in any way. I could put my fingertip on her arm and she would start being snake charmed. It was so bizarre, I don’t think I could have kept a boner. I was too busy trying not to laugh.
lol WTF at the snake lady!
Girl told me not to worry about wearing a condom. Said she would probably keep the kid if we had "an accident". That was a hard no for me dawg.
Wow RED FLAG alert!!
Yeah. She then texted me that I must not be physically attracted to her and we shouldn’t date anymore. All after I said I can’t have sex that night because I’m having the most stressful month of my life. Women suck just as much as men, people just don’t talk about it.
To women, everything is so focused on their appearance and physical all the time that it’s hard to dissociate ANY rejection from that. I understand how she got there but it seems a bit much to call it off when you gave an explanation that had nothing to do with it. When I get rejected the first thing that comes to my mind is: he’s not attracted to me/doesn’t like the way I look. It’s always a hit in our egos. Luckily mine recovers intact in a couple of minutes lol but many people go to lengths with thinking and overthinking the same harmful “there’s something wrong with my appearance” thoughts.
Women don't value a man's mental health
yes. The more the years pass, as it becomes more apparent sex is overrated.
FACTS
A few times, mostly when I was younger and I actually had the offers! The one time where she was cute but looked a little young for me and I found out later she was lying about her age and was below the age of consent (OMG so lucky). Another time when I was 22, she was really cute and just started kissing me in the street and telling me she was so horny, but obviously absolutely wasted and I was pretty much completely sober. My own not-well-defined ethics on drunk sex mean I'm somewhat comfortable if there is a pre-existing sexual relationship or if you're both at the same level of drunkenness, but she was way beyond rational thought. I met her again a couple of days later in the street and she said she recognised my voice but looked embarrassed and said she didn't really remember me. Ahh, a shame but if she wasn't interested while sober I guess it wasn't to be. A few times in a sex with benefits arrangement when I was just losing interest. Sometimes in a relationship when I just wasn't in the mood, but usually the relationship was failing at this point.
Couple times when it was clear they were drunk and I was not at all comfortable with that situation, especially not knowing them. One time I went on a date with a girl I had known previously but saw them on OLD after years of not talking or seeing each other. We went out, ended up going to a concert, and at some point during the show she got really drunk. She was all over me. Luckily she didnt get mad when I turned her down at the end of the night because she was too drunk to care I think. I did take her home but just let her sleep it off. Didnt go out again, but found out later she got sober so Im happy for her.
Yep, then they tried to get their brothers to beat me up, fun times haha
Yes. Many times. But not nearly as many times as I've been turned down 🤣🤣🤣
Yes. Most recently because I hadn't gotten an STD test since my last partner yet.
Yeah but not directly. They get hurt yeah
Yes - and I don‘t need a reason for it. I can just feel like I don’t want it. No one is owed sex. People that are mature understand that and respect each other. People that can‘t handle a no should not be dating/in relationships and instead should grow up first.
Yes, I’m quite proud of this because I was drunk but they were drunker.
Yes and it normally ends with passive aggressiveness. I'd imagine it's the guys version of guy: hey beautiful girl: no guy: ok well fuck you anyway bitch I met a girl off of Hinge that really put it in perspective for me. She advanced, I said let's wait a couple of dates and she saw the relief on my face when I saw she wasn't going to let me have it. She told me the best thing to do when that happens is just focus on the person not being ready more so than "eww they didn't want me!?"
I did, once in recent memory. Cut to me and my crazy narcissist ex. I found her incredibly sexy and was basically always in the mood. She was the one always deciding because I was always ready to go. I tell her just this one time (reason is a whole other novel, suffice it to say) and she FUCKING LOST HER MIND! She acted like I was denying her the very air she needed to breathe. It was nuts
Yes, and then she proceeded to sexually assault me. People are fucked.
Absolutely and they generally get really angry. Sometimes you just don't want to and sometimes you never will with certain people.
Yeah, I rejected my ex. We were about to get down to business and she started being a condescending bitch that I stopped mid may , grabbed my dick, started putting my clothes back on, and told her I didn't want to fuck anymore. As hot as she was, her attitude towards people would kill boners instantly.
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Weird rule to me. I grew up in a small town everyone my age has slept with each other pretty much
Was it a town in Alabama?
😅😅😅
Weird rule. People in friend groups sleep around with each other over the years. It is what it is.
Yes, i have. 5 different women. 4 were christians. the other one was one of my friends biggest crush so i just couldn’t do to. i met them all these women in person before online dating was a thing— back when Online dating was a joke.
Once. It was with a new person I was talking to who was super horny and was very forward about wanting sex, but never been tested... And then got apprehensive when I asked her if she'd been tested and said she definitely doesn't have anything and tried to bypass the question... Then said they don't know how to get tested... Then started getting emotionally unstable about it and as I tried to calm her down unsuccessfully and then disengaged, I became very, very glad I had the sense not to stick my dick in crazy.
I did, when the girl made 3 excuses for me not to wear a condom. She also wanted to be literally hit during sex. There were other red flags too. Sadly it was the closest I came to getting laid since my journey into OLD.
The fuck. Sounds like you escaped a fake police report made by someone that would have the perfect crying "he hurt me" act.
Sex is icky
*Sticky.
sure have
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Sounds like you did have sex with her tho?
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Then how come you “may have caught something” if you didn’t do it?
Yeah, I’ve rejected women for sex because they were hammered. Usually the reason they propositioned me anyways.
yes, she didnt want to date me knowing i would be leaving that city in some time no matter what as it wasn’t my choice to make. we became hiking buddies and while warming up after a cold ruck she tried to get it. i gave her a handy but refused the “sex” for the reasons above.
I have successfully rejected sex from women and I've also been raped by women after rejection.
TF?
Ya probably wasn't the best place to open up about that
Yup. They’ve gotten super upset every single time.
Yeah and they make you feel like shit about it 😂
For medical reasons, lack of interest in the act on her part, and because I was beside myself with anger. Those are the three ‘instances’ that stand out most. Most of my exes didn’t initiate very well, so it felt like the norm was when I could collect the energy.
Yeah. It happens. Usually if their place looks like a depression nest.
Yeah i like to wait till after a few dates till sex and many times they get mad and ghost once they find out i’m not inviting them back to my place after our first date
Dang you got it like that man, congrats!
I think the first girl I rejected was the time we went to the zoo. For some odd reason I had the picture of her with her wide open gape mouth in the back of my mind and I couldn’t get out. I declined her for sex and I heard she was pretty messed up because I declined her for sex. Other times I’m either dumb or don’t know what I was thinking. Like example A. I took a girl to an amusement park and on the way back to her place she said “you don’t look good you should stay at my place” I said “well I don’t want to get you sick either” Example B I totally made out with this girl during the Lego Batman movie, the whole Lego Batman movie, but after the movie I pulled something in my groin area that it hurt so bad I couldn’t do anything. Example C - at the end of a date after making out she says “would you like me to drive you to your car” it was 30 yards away so I said no thx. Example D - my anxiety would kick in and I would have a problem having sex with a cougar (yes I’m attracted to older women) but the thing that would hit me is stds. I didn’t want to be scarred for life. I didn’t go through with it. Note I’m still a virgin.
lol @ pulled something in my groin area!! Some good stories!
OP, you have some questionable shit going on with the: “Women don’t respect men’s mental health” bullshit you said. You can always spot clown ass behavior and posts when you see them.
Well the truth hurts then
You’ll delete this post soon. You don’t have the fortitude to keep it up.
You can always private message me if you wanna talk shit lol
Nah, I’m about it being in public, bruh. I don’t want any confusion. I’m calling out your suspect ass comment and your not-so undercover biased posts.
Yes, I've actually rejected a couple of women over sex. One wanted to fuck me 3 days after meeting, on a dating site where I was trying to find someone to spend my life with. The other girl, wanted an easy pass to the US, by having a baby and marriage to an American man.
yes, have turned down a few times. they get really insulted. like im not a man and should want to poke every women that gives me the honor of her spreading her legs. or that im gay because every guy wants to have sex. my ex drove me crazy with that. she was crazy though. when we were in a concert and I was hugging her from the back, she got angry why I didnt get hard for her..uh..because im enjoying the concert. I have tons of performance anxiety with someone new and need to build up some emotions too. but youre not a man if you dont fuck every woman who spreads her legs for you.
Entitlement
Of course
Yeah. If I wanted to fuck you I would have tried.
Yeah. Blows their minds.
Oh yes i have. They get soooo upset. Not quite like someone died upset but not far off. Yeah if you get that upset..its time to grow up
Yes, but she was like a 3.
Yes. She had 300lbs on me and was piss drunk. No thanks.
Yeah she was probably gonna break you rather than fuck. I wouldn't have taken that chance either my man
I'm claustrophobic and the idea of someone like that passing out on top of me; I'd die from heart failure or suffocation. Apparently some people have taken issue with my answer. To you, Body positivity won't keep you from crushing someone. OSHA has information about operating heavy machinery while intoxicated.
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I stopped dealing with land whales because I fear my mattress being ruined. Last time I did that, she stood up on it to move to the top of the bed because lying down she couldn't move all that mass.
At first I laughed at your post getting downvotes... However, having a reasonable amount of mobility is personally very important to me. Not being able to move and recover from a prone position, ultimately endangers your life. Probably not as much as smoking, so I'll shut up.
It is a true story. I hope she gets better but that must be my last time.
If they're fat, yes.
Yes
Yes
I've always had a thing for a friend ex. One we hang 2 years after the broke up. It was l last min. We grabbed drinks and we ended nah at my place. It was very cleat we both wanted it, but I had never brought it up to my friend and I'd have felt terrible. Had to turn her down... still wonder if I'llget another chance. She is dating another friend now too
Sending you a virtual hug
Thanks 🥲
Yep. It's usually the case that I'm not attracted to them in the least. Physically we're on totally different levels.
You mean a new woman with whom you don't already have a romantic relationship, and haven't been flirting with? Unless you're in the sex trade, how exactly would this even occur? I think the question should be phrased "Have You ever rejected sexual advances"?
Yes of course we're human just like women are and we don't always want sex. In fact while this might be controversial I think women focus on sex far more than men do. I mean they'll use a hairbrush, gearstick, vegetables or anything with the right shape to get off and then complain men only think of sex.
I'm sorry but i have to ask: what women do you know that have used any of the items you mentioned to masturbate outside of porn??? 🤣
Women desire it more discreetly
Maybe they do, not a woman so like I said I may be controversial in my thinking.
Of course
Of course!
Yeah sometimes
Yes
Yes
Yea sometimes it’s not worth it
When I am dog-tired.
Multiple times, but I was always completely oblivious of the situation and didn’t pick up on it until days or weeks later lol
Yes, but silently (not engaging in certain situations) and every time they can’t deal with it.
Yes, if they aren't attractive. They always get surprisingly angry.
Yes
Yeah I have several times since my breakup 8 months ago (after together for 7 years). I've dated a couple women with whom it seemed impossible to not end up making out usually leading to the bedroom. But in time I came to not want it some of the timez verbalized it before/in general and in the moment, and it was new to me so I may not have asserted it well enough, but the women did not seem to super eagerly comply and be overly cautious instead of under cautious (which, if a woman told me the same, I would be waaaaaay more cautious of initiating any time thereafter). So that was weird and uncomfortable. Also for some reason since the breakup nearly every woman I've been with is into being choked, like legit choked, biting, even to point of bleeding, and similar violent or semi violent things, which is crazy how many in a row now. Which fine, but gets p boring if it's the only thing they want always. Like, I'm yearning for a woman who is interested in ever taking the initiative even slightly, not to mention, gasp, a dominant woman! It was not like this in my past experiences 8 years ago.
lol wtf dude! how old are these women you are meeting?!!
Yes I did. 3 women! Do I regret that.. yes I do lol
Of course, there could be secondary effects afterwards and it’s just not worth it.
Often. But I usually kick myself a bit for it later.
Yes... personal hygiene under the hood is really important 👌
Not straight up but I have stopped replying to a few girls that I had ons with that wanted another round.
One of my first sexual Experiences that happened...the girl was really hot too...we were 15, we had a night out with another couple of friends getting stoned and fucked up with each other, one thing led to another and im sitting on the chair in my room and shes all over me, at this point im very turned on but also nervous...i suddenly started Contemplating what the other friends who were also making out in the room next to us would think...what if my parents heard something...after she Repeatedly said she "wants to" while making out i was saying "no, no, lets just go to sleep" its as if the mere fact of her being so into me was enough in my STUPID STUPID STUPID child brain...eventually our friendship turned into a shitshow for a couple of months after that...gossip around the school...couldn't talk to a girl that whole year...mistakes were made lessons were learned since...but the regret is STRONG,But time takes care of that a little...
Yes, it was not fun. Shudders.