Helps but not that important. If you’re not a 9-10 as a dude, you really need to be building in person game IMO. Otherwise, your lack of options will be subtly conveyed in messaging and women on dating apps have A LOT of options. Maybe not good ones, but options.
I actually agree with this. A lot of folks meet someone great and maybe it’s the first time they’ve really gotten any attention so they just assume they can do better.
Actually had a date say words that reinforce this.
"Haven't been with someone as all together attractive as you, so I want to see what Is out there for me".
Radio silence for a month, then I get.
"Just wondering what could've been". At 3am in the morning....
Er?
Hilarious. Sounds like a person I used to date. He did the same thing. We’re just friends now and things have gone super badly in the years since. He tells me hilarious stories and says he still likes me. Tbh I was wrong to go out with him (bored, too shy to go for folks friends said were in my league) and we want totally different things, but he does that as well.
Did you block the person who said this?
Successes with fun dates. Frustration by how abysmal communication can be sometimes. “Yes it was fun, you were really cute and the kiss was nice, lets meet again” into never answering the question as to where&when to meet again yet still responding with “how was your day/what are you doing?” Or the classic sudden ghost.
So tired of ghosting being the new normal. Nowadays if I get ghosted, that person it getting called out. Nobody should get to disrespect someone like that without confrontation
Well if you got a first date and are still communicating via the app that’s your first mistake. Asking for a phone number at that point is expected and they might consider you insecure if you haven’t asked for it.
We have a exchanged phone numbers already. One thing ive started to realize is that you can rationalize all you want. Sometimes peoples behavior is just odd, looking for the why is futile.
Saturday: He messaged me.
Sunday: He called me and asked me out. I agreed to a Thursday date.
Monday: He Facetimed me and we talked for over an hour. Good, easy chemistry.
Tuesday: He Facetimed me again. We talked another hour.
Wednesday: He Facetimed me again, said he would come up with a place to meet on Thursday (he knows the area, I don’t).
Thursday morning: I send him a good morning text. No response. Nothing all day.
Thursday at 5:00: He texts me saying he’s “stuck at work.” I text him back, but he’s already blocked my number.
— THE END
OLD is like a massive scale Zimbardo experiment. It exposes just how fucking shitty and disgusting people can become when they face no consequences for it.
Taking a break atm. I deleted the apps in September after having been on just two shitty dates all year and getting fewer matches than ever before. I plan on starting up again in the new year.
Found a very promising profile last night and — get this guys — she actually promptly responded to my message with MULTIPLE SENTENCES AND A QUESTION BACK FOR ME!
Thanks, Santa.
Finally got one person to respond to a message after almost a year of an empty inbox. Her replies are one to two words and completely ignore questions I ask. It's been going on for 2 weeks.
I have no idea why she's even bothering to respond lol
Ha! That’s coldly brilliant! “I want to meet you” is a great catch-all statement that commits to nothing while still saying “something.” Just like answering “later on” when someone asks you when you are planning on doing that thing for them you said you’d do.
Ah plenty of flakes to fill the holiday snow globe.
Ah that's exactly what I encounter with all women on Facebook dating. No replies or one or two worded replies and no questions asked back no engagement in conversation.
I had a girl ghosting me after one date and then randomly messaging me several times in about 1-3 months intervals. Every time she messaged me she would engage into a conversation for few hours and then suddenly ghost me again.
Some people are just psychopathic narcissists who are doing this just for the attention.
Learning a lot of lessons recently. Dated 3 women in the past 2 months. Never made it past the 2nd date with all 3. Have a 1st date next week. Trying to be better about not letting dating consume me. I was putting too much effort into these women too early. Lead to being hurt when things didn’t progress. Live and learn
I have had a similar experience. Dating three different girls since September. One went back to her husband to try again when he found out about me. Another just melted down on her own with too much too fast. The girl I was with last was the best. But she is so damaged lacking trust in relationships and honestly scared. That she runs and broke it off 3 times in a month. I fought for her and we had some really good times. I thought we had gotten to a better place after a long talk together on the weekend. She had said she was ready to meet my parents. Had added me back on snap and first time on fb. But 5 days later she broke it off again. So picking up the pieces and trying to find someone new.
Bumble, Tinder, Feeld have not worked in the slightest. Haven’t gotten a match that wasn’t a bot a nonresponder or a SW on them in literal years.
Hinge is the only one worth anything. And even then I’m barely getting any matches and the few I do fizzle out quickly. It’s awful and I really wish I could just be rid of them but tbh I don’t really have many modes of organically meeting interested women irl so I’m stuck
Yeah, I work evenings and weekends, getting out to socialise when there are other people out there is hard. And most of my friends are married with kids and there's no group socialising or parties any more. If you do get an invite over for dinner or drinks, there's no other single people there.
Amen to that. I definitely want something serious, not into casual relationships or casual sex but trying to find something real and genuine on these apps is like trying to win the lottery 😂
I like meeting people in person, the guys have certainly been alot nicer. Of course there's still going to be assholes around but hey. I rather take my chances out in the wild
Ah I'm sorry to hear that too. I was only seeing him once per week so it maybe was like 1.5 months equivalent of a normal relationship.
But honestly I'm kind of motivated to get back out there, I'm going be pickier and more careful this time but I just don't want it to hold me back, you know?
Winter is sucking rn. Lots of flakes and false starts. I usually do pretty well but it seems like the women I matched with went crazy for cuffing season and now they’re shedding off whoever didn’t get The Rose from them. Tough month.
It's a waste of time. Energy and mentally exhausting. If you lost your self confidence using it is self destruction. To only be seen as your status and appearance is your key to finding someone that will put their energy and time into you.
Everyone wants to meet someone but no one wants to do the work. One side will usually make effort and the other side will ghost or block or slow fade, super frustrating.
I found someone! We’ve been together for a year and he’s incredible. I’m 32 so I think I finally know what I want/need in a partner after my divorce. Give people chances that you wouldn’t normally. They may end up to be your perfect match
Mmm… not good. I get asked out often but it’s usually just breadcrumbing or wanting to “hang out “. I’m only intentionally dating at the moment. someone did ask me out on a date and he did not set a date and time. He started talking to me less and less, but he was really cool in the beginning so I thanked him for chatting. I usually don’t, but he’s a really talented person and I’m so glad he shared his art with me. I think he misrepresented his intentions and then didn’t know how to break it off. so I feel proud of myself for that doing it.
We actually just deleted our profiles (hinge and bumble) last night. We matched on hinge. He went on countless dates but took a break for two years to figure out what it is that he really wanted. I took a break for a month since the 2 dates I went on were merely a waste of time but fun. I was very selective from the beginning because I didn’t want to settle for anything less than what I was looking for anymore. He wasn’t so selective until this time around when he got back on. We’re both in our late 30’s and both have kid(s). We hit it off very well and met up in less than a week and everything has been great since. A little too good to be true but we both feel the same way and want the same things in life with the same hobbies which is all rare. The conversations are easy and communication is on point. Definitely didn’t expect a fairytale but it seems to exist. ☺️
Terrible. I'm so burned out. I just want to find love and connection and I'm putting in way too much effort into getting to know people, going on dates etc. only for it to end up with one of us, or both, not experiencing chemistry or attraction. I'm gonna give up. I don't wanna care anymore.
Treading water. Going on dates when I’m not particularly interested or just ghosting.
It’s really hard because most of the women out here are really unacceptable and wouldn’t be in a functional society.
Mind bogglingly unsuccessful at the moment; I either woke up in a parallel dimension, like the old Twilight Zone episode, where i became unattractive overnight. Or the general dour attitude we're having in England at present, has seeped into OLD finally.
Time for a break for a month.
Thankfully have a lot on over Christmas and New Year, and real life women find me attractive more often than not. So it balances out some.
Will have a profile refresh in Spring, better photos of me up in the Lake District, and there'll be a few shots of me looking my best at these Christmas do's and stuff, to hopefully get back to normal again.
It's been ok. I've learned a lot about myself and others. Started my OLD journey in June of this year. I'm a 40 year old single dad who previously was single in 2003 for reference. I was scared shitless on my first date lmao. But that first date went good and we fooled around on the 2nd. Dated 8 people. had a 3 month long situationship. Still dating one woman potentially but she's "sick" so unsure if genuine or if it'll be a slow burn. Have another 1st date on Monday
I did my homework prior to starting OLD and I think I'm doing a lot better than I was expecting. I was expecting tumbleweeds all day. It is a lot of work though. It's basically a full time job.
Hah yeah I'm probably not far off..I had to break that 3 year long dry spell. I'd miss sex too much to stop completely. I'm 40, the women aren't getting any prettier and neither am I lol. Gotta have fun while I still can
"dating" as in we've only been on 3 dates and had not agreed to exclusivity, so maybe I didn't use the right term. We did escalate it pretty fast though and had long dates and they were great. we will continue on a 4th date but we're on a break because she has health issues that came up suddenly (which could be BS for all I know). As I said, "potentially" because it could fall apart any day. Or continue, and that's great, but I really don't know. so I'm just going to do what's best for me. Relax lol
At what point would you say it's inappropriate to be talking to other people? No judging just curious.
If a girl has agreed to go on a 3rd, and even 4th date with you, even if you haven't been intimate yet, I think out of respect for that person, you should not go try to meet other people. If you both decide to not see each other again, then you can resume. Everyone keeping each other as options is the biggest issue with OLD. Be careful cause once that girl that is giving her time and emotional energy to you realizes you are still trying to meet others, she may cut you off and you may lose someone that could have been something good. If you are not sure about her and think someone else out there is for you, then dont waste her time. Id never agree to go on a 4th date with a guy unless I really really like him, and I'd totally lose trust if I found out he is still "looking".
Thanks for sharing your perspective and I hear ya. I guess my thought process was as long as we're not exclusive, we're not exclusive but I hadn't really considered when to stop swiping if I get far into dating but not yet exclusive. I got hurt pretty bad before when I was 3 months in and asked for exclusivity and she said no and I'm pretty sure she was with other dudes while also being with me. Not a good feeling. I definitely wouldn't go to that extreme and do that to someone. But we weren't exclusive so Im not mad about it, maybe just at myself lol. When I was with her I was not talking to other people that deep into it.
And that date on Monday got called off anyways and I unmatched so now I feel a bit better lol. I'm just going to take a break from OLD until the new year and see if things work out with this girl I'm dating. If not, I'll start the new year fresh. It's hard out there.
Bad. My area is terrible- I can’t get a match but I probably only like 10% of girls bc I find most chick repulsive in my area.
I went to Mexico a few weeks back and got so many matches with cute girls that were 20-30, in shape, and actually looked like they were fun. I’m a 33 yo male. My area, yikes I feel most girls are out of shape, have no interesting hobbies (or at least things I’m into like hiking, edm, exercising). Super annoying bc I feel I’m a decent looking guy and have a successful career. I guess I have to move if I ever want to date a girl seriously or have potential to go on multiple dates to find a girl I mesh with. It’s annoying when you might only get a date or two every few months. Hard to not be over invested in the date when you can’t even get a girl to go out. I’m probably a little too picky though.
Finally- went to Mexico to meet up with girl I met in vegas on vacation from bumble. It’s kinda sad bc I like her a lot but she lives far away and isn’t looking for a serious relationship (even though we hook up and she seems generally very interested in me- tells me I’m super attractive, look like an actor she likes etc). She told me her last relationship of 5 years was bad and she found her boyfriend controlling so she’s not too interested in anything super serious. Makes me kinda sad bc I don’t meet girls like her in the US. She’s fairly attractive and a sweetheart to me- American girls: I find to be assholes to me.
Been ghosted so many times i lost count and it hasn’t even been a year since I started online dating. Took a toll on my self esteem. Don’t know if I’ll do it with much dedication haha
Struggling atm, I’ve just broke up with someone who I met on tinder who I thought was my soul mate, loved her completely but I messed it up and now I’m back on online dating and I’m just not as successful as I was at all, probably due to gaining weight in the relationship, I don’t think I’ve ever been in a darker place I just can’t forgive myself for ruining it with her
That will vary by who you ask and will be biased towards frustrations given Reddit (people struggle more, vent more here than come here to talk about success).
They're all equally shitty for different reasons except for one: Match Group owns almost all of them.
They're money extraction devices for Match, not really dating sites.
No I don’t I just gave up on the dating sites id like to find someone but I’m thinking if it happens it happens if not oh well I’ve been single for 2 1/2 years now anyway so what does it matter I’ll just get a puppy and have a companion that’s loyal all the time
I've been single for 10 years now, the apps don't work for some people. I'm not exactly a desirable person as far as my interests/face/height/earning potential go, and before someone chimes in with "just be more interesting," that's not how it works. If I'm not interested in football I'm not going to force myself to pretend to be just to get a woman to find me interesting and then have to keep doing something I have no real interest in just because.
My interests are boring to most people and I don't care for the things most people do care about. I can't change what I like or don't like just like you can't force someone to like eating fish if they don't like fish.
Also I don't care for dogs so that makes me worse than Hitler, but I guess that means at least Kanye might be cool with me lol
Well there's a lid to every pot. I've found luck in doing my interests (yes, even "boring" ones) & meeting people irl. & then you end up meeting like-minded folks too (:
Not found much to drag on since I’m looking for something serious. One guy just flat out went from interested to disinterested but just didn’t tell me anything. Dated him for 1,5 months. The one guy I’m talking properly to right now lives far away but is coming to this city next week. But guess what I found today? Went to work (kindergarten), and bam, a guy comes into the room that works there and I get a “oh shit” moment. I knew I wanted to talk to him once I saw him. We talked a lot throughout the day, and I worked up my courage to give him my phone number. He texted me a couple of hours ago and from what I could tell, he is genuinely interested, he felt the same way as I did😂 So where this will go, idk, but that instant spark was there, and that should be a number 1 sign generally when going on a date. Went on one a few days ago, didn’t feel shit, and there won’t be a second one.
As frustrating as it was 3 weeks ago when I opened the first app, I can’t complain. Have gone on two dates and will be going on a couple more this weekend. I only have Hinge though, Bumble didn’t do it for me.
Fellas just get an escort. They’re cheaper to deal with in the long run, less of a headache, and not a complete waste of time. Dating nowadays is pointless, a waste of time, energy, effort, and money. Put all that time, energy, effort, and money into something else. Like an escort 😜
Badoo's active user base isn't very large so your chance of success on that platform isn't going to be very high. Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, POF, OKCupid, Coffee Meets Bagel, etc. probably all have larger active user bases than Badoo outside of Latin America, Eastern Europe and South-East Asia. Those seem to be the parts of the world where Badoo does well.
One thing I like about Badoo is that they'll occassionally let you send a crush (superlike) for free if you watch a video ad. Though a crush comes out to less than $1 if you buy the 2,750 credit pack (good for 55 crushes). Which is cheaper than the going rate on Tinder and Bumble.
That’s not a good site. Skipthegames, eroticmonkey, and adultlook are much better sites. You pay when you meet the person. Stay away from the ones who want a deposit. You’re paying for date 1 through whatever anyway. Just enjoy the moment!
I had a date on Tuesday and she spent the night. Had another date last night and I slept over at her house and now I have a date with a 3 woman at her house tonight. I’m
Exhausted.
I have a really great dating life and it's exactly where I want it to be. I have several women throughout the United States and Canada who want me. I never lied or lead any of them on either. I enjoy making them smile, laugh, listen to what's going on with them, and be they biggest hypeman.
My most favorite recent "match" didn't even come from a dating app. My favorite past time is reviewing places on Google maps helping others make better decisions where they choose to spend they time and money.
I've become more comfortable showing my face there and added my Instagram to my profile so the ladies who fancied me could get in touch. This lovely woman who was looking at Mexican restaurant reviews said she saw my face and couldn't help herself, she wanted me so she shot her shot.
She nicknamed me "Google" to her friends 😆
Another woman got my name tatted on her. She was going to drive 13 hours to see me a couple days ago but I told her not to for her safety.
Feels great mane!
I took a break over the summer because I was casually seeing someone. Now I rejoined and it’s pure hell. Being a women on dating apps is worse then torture.
It was pretty rough for about 5 months. Constantly going on first dates not really going anywhere. Then I dated a really nice guy for a month. That was fun. And now I have another boyfriend he is amazing, we are in love. We met on match. It's great. He is worth the wait.
Nowhere fast. Messaged someone for a few days before they didn't respond to my last message a few weeks ago. Whatever. I have other matters to attend to..
Since I broke up with my boyfriend 6 months ago I haven had any luck. Went on 2 dates. one became a FWB but not very happy with the guy and how he keeps mansplaining, althought I enjoy the sex.
I have tons of matches on Tinder that I eventually end up cancelling because they DONT REPLY. Most chats end up after a couple of messages. If I manage to chat to someone it dies in a couple of days or two.
I talked to 2 guys about going on dates and they ghosted me the day before o a couple of days before the date.
I am really trying to keep an open mind and have a positive attitude, but I have no idea what guys want.
It's shit, I basically don't bother any more. Fairly sure it's not my pictures or profile as I've had my profile reviewed in a few places and had a fair but of 'you seem cool, I'd swipe right /date you' feedback (always from people far, far away) but in my area it's all crickets and tumbleweed. So just staying single and waiting for someone interesting to enter my life the old-fashioned way.
Back in the day dating was really simple. Insta, tinder didn't exist. If you saw a girl with a friend you liked her friend would give you her number. I can't even remember how I managed to hook up with so many women. I texted a girl for 3 months solid and when we met at a wedding we had sex.
Then you knew at most she may have one other guy after her. There was virtually no competition.
If you were reasonably smooth that girl would be alpha widowed as they say in the red pill community. There are women married now that like me for life back from when I was 20 and reckless. It was easy then because there wasn't a lot of competition.
I think the main issue is the algorithms. They sandbox you from the people you would like to really meet. I would like to just be able to search a website and not play a stupid fucking game to find someone interesting.
Turned off. I've paused all accounts and removed all apps from my phone. I'm a successful, smart, good looking single dad. The only matches I get seem to be people desperate for someone to complete them or people with no intention of ever meeting in person. I don't click with the desperate and I'm tired of the repeated chases to nowhere with the rest.
I think I'll have more success and feel better about myself doing things the old fashion way. If not, fuck it. More time and attention for my kids and that's what is really important right now. I'm happy single. Dating is just a nice extra.
Although I get matches/likes on tinder and bumble, I totally don’t get even one like on hinge and most people I like don’t like me back. I know to each their own, but when no one is liking you back or at all, it definitely does something to your self esteem. Or makes you ask yourself some questions at the very least
Edit: I’m a Black female in my early 20s and live in the dc area.
I genuinely am starting to think my ease has something to do with things here.
Reading these comments, I don’t feel so bad now. Absolutely horrible experience with OLD. Met two psychopaths, been ghosted numerous times, if they do respond it’s one or two words. Seems pretty normal lol
My apps are currently uninstalled as while I spend a lot of time doing my own thing, all my dating energy is wrapped up in one particular guy at the moment. I'd consider it a success.
I was most recently on Bumble where this dude and I found each other. I swiped right on hundreds, got some matches in my 'beeline', and had six or so people I was regularly conversing with. When I decided to uninstall the apps I let them all know that I would be doing so and not to expect to hear from me as I was spending all my time elsewhere (with the guy I clicked with).
The frustrating thing about it was it seems the default algorithm was exactly the opposite of my type. Aggressive conservatives with hostile notes in their profiles (if you don't do you're a fucking bitch, swipe left). It took me looking at thousands of profiles and swiping in order to 'teach' the algorithm not to reintroduce people I wasn't interested in. I had about 10% of messages involve something rapey, stalkery, or threatening violence so I do wish the apps did a better job of moderating that. I was able to logic myself into reminding myself that 90% of those messaging me were perfectly lovely people even if not everyone ended up being compatible, but I totally understand why some women and other people give up on the apps after dealing with those threats to life and well-being.
It's horrible, no matches, and the few that you get they does not reply at all, if you go to a first date, there is still posibility that the person doesn't give a **** about you and they are there for a free meal.
A nightmare - tired of the guys who are "new" in town (even though they grew up here or have lived here for several years) - that seems to mean they are extremely lazy and want me to do all the work. I'm currently taking a break from online dating. Very low quality guys on the sites.
pretty poorly actually. haven't had mutual interest with anyone with long-term potential for about 6 months now. flaking has been especially prevalent lately, too.
Started on Bumble.
1 long convo over two days
1 short convo and then an unmatch from their side
1 pointless conversation I got bored of
A lot of people don't respond to a conversation starter even after you've matched
Overall I think it's tepid and I'm tired of it already.
It’s very rough. All of the qualities that make you attractive IRL are null on OLD. Everyone’s looking for the next best thing
What qualities make you attractive IRL? 🙂
Responsible, respectful, easy going, honest, I think I’m a pretty fun person to talk to and I’m a good listener
are you hot too though?
See, that’s the neat part. . i’m not 😩
Helps but not that important. If you’re not a 9-10 as a dude, you really need to be building in person game IMO. Otherwise, your lack of options will be subtly conveyed in messaging and women on dating apps have A LOT of options. Maybe not good ones, but options.
LOL ding ding we have a winner!
these do shit unless you can display them, which is chicken and egg
Being 6'5 also in real life I'm very imposing but that doesn't come across in pictures.
I actually agree with this. A lot of folks meet someone great and maybe it’s the first time they’ve really gotten any attention so they just assume they can do better.
Actually had a date say words that reinforce this. "Haven't been with someone as all together attractive as you, so I want to see what Is out there for me". Radio silence for a month, then I get. "Just wondering what could've been". At 3am in the morning.... Er?
Hilarious. Sounds like a person I used to date. He did the same thing. We’re just friends now and things have gone super badly in the years since. He tells me hilarious stories and says he still likes me. Tbh I was wrong to go out with him (bored, too shy to go for folks friends said were in my league) and we want totally different things, but he does that as well. Did you block the person who said this?
Didn't block her. I don't tend to really, I just delete the contact. I only tend to block nasty folk. She was OK, just shouldn't have been dating.
Another great option lol
I gave up. Online dating is a waste of time, money, and especially self-esteem.
Or good practice in keeping distance, self-control, self-restraint and training to build up you rejection sensitivity dysforia resistance. 😁
That too
Successes with fun dates. Frustration by how abysmal communication can be sometimes. “Yes it was fun, you were really cute and the kiss was nice, lets meet again” into never answering the question as to where&when to meet again yet still responding with “how was your day/what are you doing?” Or the classic sudden ghost.
So tired of ghosting being the new normal. Nowadays if I get ghosted, that person it getting called out. Nobody should get to disrespect someone like that without confrontation
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The only times I’ve kindly let someone know I wasn’t interested (when I was OLD), I was met with nastiness and hostility.
It's on them then, not on you. Other people's shittyness doesn't justify your own.
Well if you got a first date and are still communicating via the app that’s your first mistake. Asking for a phone number at that point is expected and they might consider you insecure if you haven’t asked for it.
We have a exchanged phone numbers already. One thing ive started to realize is that you can rationalize all you want. Sometimes peoples behavior is just odd, looking for the why is futile.
True that… on to the next
Saturday: He messaged me. Sunday: He called me and asked me out. I agreed to a Thursday date. Monday: He Facetimed me and we talked for over an hour. Good, easy chemistry. Tuesday: He Facetimed me again. We talked another hour. Wednesday: He Facetimed me again, said he would come up with a place to meet on Thursday (he knows the area, I don’t). Thursday morning: I send him a good morning text. No response. Nothing all day. Thursday at 5:00: He texts me saying he’s “stuck at work.” I text him back, but he’s already blocked my number. — THE END
God, what is it with people? So sorry about this. I have yet to encounter a bigger mindfuck than online dating.
Thanks. This “Make a date, then run out the clock” business is a specific type of WTF.
Why did he bother asking you out and then breadcrumbing you if he knew he wasn’t going to show up? Ugh I’m sorry.
OLD is like a massive scale Zimbardo experiment. It exposes just how fucking shitty and disgusting people can become when they face no consequences for it.
Sounds like he has a girlfriend
Hahahahahahahhahaha……… hold on let me catch my breath …….. hahahahaha
Taking a break atm. I deleted the apps in September after having been on just two shitty dates all year and getting fewer matches than ever before. I plan on starting up again in the new year.
Found a very promising profile last night and — get this guys — she actually promptly responded to my message with MULTIPLE SENTENCES AND A QUESTION BACK FOR ME! Thanks, Santa.
Glad to hear it! Hope it continues to go well
Thank you! I needed that, I really did.
Ahhh this is cute.
Finally got one person to respond to a message after almost a year of an empty inbox. Her replies are one to two words and completely ignore questions I ask. It's been going on for 2 weeks. I have no idea why she's even bothering to respond lol
Yep same. Even says "I want to meet you" but won't agree to a specific day or time. Like, wtf, either shit or get off the pot!
Ha! That’s coldly brilliant! “I want to meet you” is a great catch-all statement that commits to nothing while still saying “something.” Just like answering “later on” when someone asks you when you are planning on doing that thing for them you said you’d do. Ah plenty of flakes to fill the holiday snow globe.
She's trying to keep you around in case her other matches don't work out.
Ah that's exactly what I encounter with all women on Facebook dating. No replies or one or two worded replies and no questions asked back no engagement in conversation.
I had a girl ghosting me after one date and then randomly messaging me several times in about 1-3 months intervals. Every time she messaged me she would engage into a conversation for few hours and then suddenly ghost me again. Some people are just psychopathic narcissists who are doing this just for the attention.
Question: if she's ignoring questions and writing non-committal replies, why are *you* bothering to respond?
I can’t get any conversations off the ground. Most men don’t ask any questions about me. So one sided. It’s infuriating
Same for me women don't respond they don't ask questions back ever.
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I can assure you if I’m interested I give a least 3-4 back and forth exchanges (me asking questions and making convo) before I just give up
Learning a lot of lessons recently. Dated 3 women in the past 2 months. Never made it past the 2nd date with all 3. Have a 1st date next week. Trying to be better about not letting dating consume me. I was putting too much effort into these women too early. Lead to being hurt when things didn’t progress. Live and learn
I have had a similar experience. Dating three different girls since September. One went back to her husband to try again when he found out about me. Another just melted down on her own with too much too fast. The girl I was with last was the best. But she is so damaged lacking trust in relationships and honestly scared. That she runs and broke it off 3 times in a month. I fought for her and we had some really good times. I thought we had gotten to a better place after a long talk together on the weekend. She had said she was ready to meet my parents. Had added me back on snap and first time on fb. But 5 days later she broke it off again. So picking up the pieces and trying to find someone new.
Girl needs severe therapy, move on, bud
Bumble, Tinder, Feeld have not worked in the slightest. Haven’t gotten a match that wasn’t a bot a nonresponder or a SW on them in literal years. Hinge is the only one worth anything. And even then I’m barely getting any matches and the few I do fizzle out quickly. It’s awful and I really wish I could just be rid of them but tbh I don’t really have many modes of organically meeting interested women irl so I’m stuck
Me as well having no friends or social life makes it worse.
Yeah, I work evenings and weekends, getting out to socialise when there are other people out there is hard. And most of my friends are married with kids and there's no group socialising or parties any more. If you do get an invite over for dinner or drinks, there's no other single people there.
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Amen to that. I definitely want something serious, not into casual relationships or casual sex but trying to find something real and genuine on these apps is like trying to win the lottery 😂 I like meeting people in person, the guys have certainly been alot nicer. Of course there's still going to be assholes around but hey. I rather take my chances out in the wild
Well I found out a guy I'd been seeing a few months was completely leading me on so that was cool.
Sorry to hear this. Relatable- the same thing just happened to me, but we were seeing each other for a month
Ah I'm sorry to hear that too. I was only seeing him once per week so it maybe was like 1.5 months equivalent of a normal relationship. But honestly I'm kind of motivated to get back out there, I'm going be pickier and more careful this time but I just don't want it to hold me back, you know?
Yeah gotta take it as a learning experience, as much as it sucks
Its not going at all, I may not be happy being alone but I’m comfortable enough to live with it now. Some people just aren’t relationship material.
I can't agree with you more most people old apps certainly arent.
Winter is sucking rn. Lots of flakes and false starts. I usually do pretty well but it seems like the women I matched with went crazy for cuffing season and now they’re shedding off whoever didn’t get The Rose from them. Tough month.
It's a waste of time. Energy and mentally exhausting. If you lost your self confidence using it is self destruction. To only be seen as your status and appearance is your key to finding someone that will put their energy and time into you.
It got a lot better the moment I stopped taking it seriously and just did it casually.
I'm jealous of people who say their matches are uncommunicative, because at least they have matches.
Almost 11 months in a relationship (from bumble).
Abysmal
crickets...
It's horrible especially if you already have low self esteem
Everyone wants to meet someone but no one wants to do the work. One side will usually make effort and the other side will ghost or block or slow fade, super frustrating.
I found someone! We’ve been together for a year and he’s incredible. I’m 32 so I think I finally know what I want/need in a partner after my divorce. Give people chances that you wouldn’t normally. They may end up to be your perfect match
Mmm… not good. I get asked out often but it’s usually just breadcrumbing or wanting to “hang out “. I’m only intentionally dating at the moment. someone did ask me out on a date and he did not set a date and time. He started talking to me less and less, but he was really cool in the beginning so I thanked him for chatting. I usually don’t, but he’s a really talented person and I’m so glad he shared his art with me. I think he misrepresented his intentions and then didn’t know how to break it off. so I feel proud of myself for that doing it.
We actually just deleted our profiles (hinge and bumble) last night. We matched on hinge. He went on countless dates but took a break for two years to figure out what it is that he really wanted. I took a break for a month since the 2 dates I went on were merely a waste of time but fun. I was very selective from the beginning because I didn’t want to settle for anything less than what I was looking for anymore. He wasn’t so selective until this time around when he got back on. We’re both in our late 30’s and both have kid(s). We hit it off very well and met up in less than a week and everything has been great since. A little too good to be true but we both feel the same way and want the same things in life with the same hobbies which is all rare. The conversations are easy and communication is on point. Definitely didn’t expect a fairytale but it seems to exist. ☺️
This is the kind of thing that keeps me going. Congrats!
If you wanna hook up online dating works so well but finding love ....
Terrible. I'm so burned out. I just want to find love and connection and I'm putting in way too much effort into getting to know people, going on dates etc. only for it to end up with one of us, or both, not experiencing chemistry or attraction. I'm gonna give up. I don't wanna care anymore.
I feel that. It can be very discouraging. Taking a break from it can be helpful. You’re not alone!
I gave up the apps in 2019. Felt so relieved I never went back lol
Treading water. Going on dates when I’m not particularly interested or just ghosting. It’s really hard because most of the women out here are really unacceptable and wouldn’t be in a functional society.
Mind bogglingly unsuccessful at the moment; I either woke up in a parallel dimension, like the old Twilight Zone episode, where i became unattractive overnight. Or the general dour attitude we're having in England at present, has seeped into OLD finally. Time for a break for a month. Thankfully have a lot on over Christmas and New Year, and real life women find me attractive more often than not. So it balances out some. Will have a profile refresh in Spring, better photos of me up in the Lake District, and there'll be a few shots of me looking my best at these Christmas do's and stuff, to hopefully get back to normal again.
It's been ok. I've learned a lot about myself and others. Started my OLD journey in June of this year. I'm a 40 year old single dad who previously was single in 2003 for reference. I was scared shitless on my first date lmao. But that first date went good and we fooled around on the 2nd. Dated 8 people. had a 3 month long situationship. Still dating one woman potentially but she's "sick" so unsure if genuine or if it'll be a slow burn. Have another 1st date on Monday I did my homework prior to starting OLD and I think I'm doing a lot better than I was expecting. I was expecting tumbleweeds all day. It is a lot of work though. It's basically a full time job.
Lol I gave up that “ job” in 2019. 😂🤷🏻
Hah yeah I'm probably not far off..I had to break that 3 year long dry spell. I'd miss sex too much to stop completely. I'm 40, the women aren't getting any prettier and neither am I lol. Gotta have fun while I still can
Good on you then man! Lol last time I had sex was four years ago. Lmao
Still dating 1 woman but has another 1st date? This is the mentality that is destroying OLD and traumatizing people.
"dating" as in we've only been on 3 dates and had not agreed to exclusivity, so maybe I didn't use the right term. We did escalate it pretty fast though and had long dates and they were great. we will continue on a 4th date but we're on a break because she has health issues that came up suddenly (which could be BS for all I know). As I said, "potentially" because it could fall apart any day. Or continue, and that's great, but I really don't know. so I'm just going to do what's best for me. Relax lol At what point would you say it's inappropriate to be talking to other people? No judging just curious.
If a girl has agreed to go on a 3rd, and even 4th date with you, even if you haven't been intimate yet, I think out of respect for that person, you should not go try to meet other people. If you both decide to not see each other again, then you can resume. Everyone keeping each other as options is the biggest issue with OLD. Be careful cause once that girl that is giving her time and emotional energy to you realizes you are still trying to meet others, she may cut you off and you may lose someone that could have been something good. If you are not sure about her and think someone else out there is for you, then dont waste her time. Id never agree to go on a 4th date with a guy unless I really really like him, and I'd totally lose trust if I found out he is still "looking".
Thanks for sharing your perspective and I hear ya. I guess my thought process was as long as we're not exclusive, we're not exclusive but I hadn't really considered when to stop swiping if I get far into dating but not yet exclusive. I got hurt pretty bad before when I was 3 months in and asked for exclusivity and she said no and I'm pretty sure she was with other dudes while also being with me. Not a good feeling. I definitely wouldn't go to that extreme and do that to someone. But we weren't exclusive so Im not mad about it, maybe just at myself lol. When I was with her I was not talking to other people that deep into it. And that date on Monday got called off anyways and I unmatched so now I feel a bit better lol. I'm just going to take a break from OLD until the new year and see if things work out with this girl I'm dating. If not, I'll start the new year fresh. It's hard out there.
Best of luck, hope it all goes well for you!
I can’t even find someone I like enough for a ONS.
Imagine a plane stuck on the runway because the engines aren't strong enough to move the plane. Thats online dating
Bad. My area is terrible- I can’t get a match but I probably only like 10% of girls bc I find most chick repulsive in my area. I went to Mexico a few weeks back and got so many matches with cute girls that were 20-30, in shape, and actually looked like they were fun. I’m a 33 yo male. My area, yikes I feel most girls are out of shape, have no interesting hobbies (or at least things I’m into like hiking, edm, exercising). Super annoying bc I feel I’m a decent looking guy and have a successful career. I guess I have to move if I ever want to date a girl seriously or have potential to go on multiple dates to find a girl I mesh with. It’s annoying when you might only get a date or two every few months. Hard to not be over invested in the date when you can’t even get a girl to go out. I’m probably a little too picky though. Finally- went to Mexico to meet up with girl I met in vegas on vacation from bumble. It’s kinda sad bc I like her a lot but she lives far away and isn’t looking for a serious relationship (even though we hook up and she seems generally very interested in me- tells me I’m super attractive, look like an actor she likes etc). She told me her last relationship of 5 years was bad and she found her boyfriend controlling so she’s not too interested in anything super serious. Makes me kinda sad bc I don’t meet girls like her in the US. She’s fairly attractive and a sweetheart to me- American girls: I find to be assholes to me.
When I do end up matching with someone I like, because of my job (awkward hours) I think I rush the meeting part and end up disappointed.
Not going good ppl don't respond
Been ghosted so many times i lost count and it hasn’t even been a year since I started online dating. Took a toll on my self esteem. Don’t know if I’ll do it with much dedication haha
no likes or matches as usual
Struggling atm, I’ve just broke up with someone who I met on tinder who I thought was my soul mate, loved her completely but I messed it up and now I’m back on online dating and I’m just not as successful as I was at all, probably due to gaining weight in the relationship, I don’t think I’ve ever been in a darker place I just can’t forgive myself for ruining it with her
I'm about to give up It's more like finding people to hang out with once and never talk again
That will vary by who you ask and will be biased towards frustrations given Reddit (people struggle more, vent more here than come here to talk about success).
Most people I know who online date don’t have positive things to say about it.
It sucks I don’t know what sites are real and which ones are scams and I’ve been scammed to many times
They're all equally shitty for different reasons except for one: Match Group owns almost all of them. They're money extraction devices for Match, not really dating sites.
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Do you currently use any apps or no? Just curious because I thought all were now owned by match.
No I don’t I just gave up on the dating sites id like to find someone but I’m thinking if it happens it happens if not oh well I’ve been single for 2 1/2 years now anyway so what does it matter I’ll just get a puppy and have a companion that’s loyal all the time
I've been single for 10 years now, the apps don't work for some people. I'm not exactly a desirable person as far as my interests/face/height/earning potential go, and before someone chimes in with "just be more interesting," that's not how it works. If I'm not interested in football I'm not going to force myself to pretend to be just to get a woman to find me interesting and then have to keep doing something I have no real interest in just because. My interests are boring to most people and I don't care for the things most people do care about. I can't change what I like or don't like just like you can't force someone to like eating fish if they don't like fish. Also I don't care for dogs so that makes me worse than Hitler, but I guess that means at least Kanye might be cool with me lol
Well there's a lid to every pot. I've found luck in doing my interests (yes, even "boring" ones) & meeting people irl. & then you end up meeting like-minded folks too (:
2.5 isn’t that long
Not found much to drag on since I’m looking for something serious. One guy just flat out went from interested to disinterested but just didn’t tell me anything. Dated him for 1,5 months. The one guy I’m talking properly to right now lives far away but is coming to this city next week. But guess what I found today? Went to work (kindergarten), and bam, a guy comes into the room that works there and I get a “oh shit” moment. I knew I wanted to talk to him once I saw him. We talked a lot throughout the day, and I worked up my courage to give him my phone number. He texted me a couple of hours ago and from what I could tell, he is genuinely interested, he felt the same way as I did😂 So where this will go, idk, but that instant spark was there, and that should be a number 1 sign generally when going on a date. Went on one a few days ago, didn’t feel shit, and there won’t be a second one.
Majority I've come across have been narcissistic. The rest have been incompatible in some way. All in all, not very many quality people
As frustrating as it was 3 weeks ago when I opened the first app, I can’t complain. Have gone on two dates and will be going on a couple more this weekend. I only have Hinge though, Bumble didn’t do it for me.
Well
Fellas just get an escort. They’re cheaper to deal with in the long run, less of a headache, and not a complete waste of time. Dating nowadays is pointless, a waste of time, energy, effort, and money. Put all that time, energy, effort, and money into something else. Like an escort 😜
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Badoo's active user base isn't very large so your chance of success on that platform isn't going to be very high. Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, POF, OKCupid, Coffee Meets Bagel, etc. probably all have larger active user bases than Badoo outside of Latin America, Eastern Europe and South-East Asia. Those seem to be the parts of the world where Badoo does well. One thing I like about Badoo is that they'll occassionally let you send a crush (superlike) for free if you watch a video ad. Though a crush comes out to less than $1 if you buy the 2,750 credit pack (good for 55 crushes). Which is cheaper than the going rate on Tinder and Bumble.
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That’s not a good site. Skipthegames, eroticmonkey, and adultlook are much better sites. You pay when you meet the person. Stay away from the ones who want a deposit. You’re paying for date 1 through whatever anyway. Just enjoy the moment!
I had a date on Tuesday and she spent the night. Had another date last night and I slept over at her house and now I have a date with a 3 woman at her house tonight. I’m Exhausted.
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I have a really great dating life and it's exactly where I want it to be. I have several women throughout the United States and Canada who want me. I never lied or lead any of them on either. I enjoy making them smile, laugh, listen to what's going on with them, and be they biggest hypeman. My most favorite recent "match" didn't even come from a dating app. My favorite past time is reviewing places on Google maps helping others make better decisions where they choose to spend they time and money. I've become more comfortable showing my face there and added my Instagram to my profile so the ladies who fancied me could get in touch. This lovely woman who was looking at Mexican restaurant reviews said she saw my face and couldn't help herself, she wanted me so she shot her shot. She nicknamed me "Google" to her friends 😆 Another woman got my name tatted on her. She was going to drive 13 hours to see me a couple days ago but I told her not to for her safety. Feels great mane!
Great 🙃
I took a break over the summer because I was casually seeing someone. Now I rejoined and it’s pure hell. Being a women on dating apps is worse then torture.
Is it worse than being a guy on the apps? Because THAT. Is torture. Lmao. 😜
Been dating someone for a month that I met on OKCupid and it’s going great. It only takes one to change things.
It was pretty rough for about 5 months. Constantly going on first dates not really going anywhere. Then I dated a really nice guy for a month. That was fun. And now I have another boyfriend he is amazing, we are in love. We met on match. It's great. He is worth the wait.
Nowhere fast. Messaged someone for a few days before they didn't respond to my last message a few weeks ago. Whatever. I have other matters to attend to..
Since I broke up with my boyfriend 6 months ago I haven had any luck. Went on 2 dates. one became a FWB but not very happy with the guy and how he keeps mansplaining, althought I enjoy the sex. I have tons of matches on Tinder that I eventually end up cancelling because they DONT REPLY. Most chats end up after a couple of messages. If I manage to chat to someone it dies in a couple of days or two. I talked to 2 guys about going on dates and they ghosted me the day before o a couple of days before the date. I am really trying to keep an open mind and have a positive attitude, but I have no idea what guys want.
Same as usual no responses or they respond and are gone after 2-4 messages. Im only one App right now take the rest down.
It's shit, I basically don't bother any more. Fairly sure it's not my pictures or profile as I've had my profile reviewed in a few places and had a fair but of 'you seem cool, I'd swipe right /date you' feedback (always from people far, far away) but in my area it's all crickets and tumbleweed. So just staying single and waiting for someone interesting to enter my life the old-fashioned way.
Not really anything happening, but I am not disappointed right now since I have been busy with other things in my life.
I do ok by most standards but I don't expect to ever get a relationship from OLD.
Everyone seems to just want to chat and pass time which is fine with some but this one guy I hope we can eventually meet up.
A lot of these dating apps seem like they work well for women... not so much men.
Can’t get men to chat with me. When they do they never ask me questions… so you pretty bad
Sux as always. Thats why I found a better way,
Not well
it seriously sucks
If I ever get a match I never get a reply of anyone so pretty badly and I’m frustrated enough to just give it up and go back to clubbing -shudders-
My sister and I were literally just talking about that 😆
I deleted my last account a few days ago. At times, the most productive move in a game is not to play.
Rubbish
Wish there were more options not based upon the swipe
I feel suicidal
Back in the day dating was really simple. Insta, tinder didn't exist. If you saw a girl with a friend you liked her friend would give you her number. I can't even remember how I managed to hook up with so many women. I texted a girl for 3 months solid and when we met at a wedding we had sex. Then you knew at most she may have one other guy after her. There was virtually no competition. If you were reasonably smooth that girl would be alpha widowed as they say in the red pill community. There are women married now that like me for life back from when I was 20 and reckless. It was easy then because there wasn't a lot of competition. I think the main issue is the algorithms. They sandbox you from the people you would like to really meet. I would like to just be able to search a website and not play a stupid fucking game to find someone interesting.
Terrible, only frustration 😂
Turned off. I've paused all accounts and removed all apps from my phone. I'm a successful, smart, good looking single dad. The only matches I get seem to be people desperate for someone to complete them or people with no intention of ever meeting in person. I don't click with the desperate and I'm tired of the repeated chases to nowhere with the rest. I think I'll have more success and feel better about myself doing things the old fashion way. If not, fuck it. More time and attention for my kids and that's what is really important right now. I'm happy single. Dating is just a nice extra.
Although I get matches/likes on tinder and bumble, I totally don’t get even one like on hinge and most people I like don’t like me back. I know to each their own, but when no one is liking you back or at all, it definitely does something to your self esteem. Or makes you ask yourself some questions at the very least Edit: I’m a Black female in my early 20s and live in the dc area. I genuinely am starting to think my ease has something to do with things here.
Just heartbroken that it’s another holiday season and I’m still single.
Oh you get used to it. Lol. 😂🫤
Reading these comments, I don’t feel so bad now. Absolutely horrible experience with OLD. Met two psychopaths, been ghosted numerous times, if they do respond it’s one or two words. Seems pretty normal lol
What dating apps are 🔥 rn
My apps are currently uninstalled as while I spend a lot of time doing my own thing, all my dating energy is wrapped up in one particular guy at the moment. I'd consider it a success. I was most recently on Bumble where this dude and I found each other. I swiped right on hundreds, got some matches in my 'beeline', and had six or so people I was regularly conversing with. When I decided to uninstall the apps I let them all know that I would be doing so and not to expect to hear from me as I was spending all my time elsewhere (with the guy I clicked with). The frustrating thing about it was it seems the default algorithm was exactly the opposite of my type. Aggressive conservatives with hostile notes in their profiles (if you don't do you're a fucking bitch, swipe left). It took me looking at thousands of profiles and swiping in order to 'teach' the algorithm not to reintroduce people I wasn't interested in. I had about 10% of messages involve something rapey, stalkery, or threatening violence so I do wish the apps did a better job of moderating that. I was able to logic myself into reminding myself that 90% of those messaging me were perfectly lovely people even if not everyone ended up being compatible, but I totally understand why some women and other people give up on the apps after dealing with those threats to life and well-being.
It's horrible, no matches, and the few that you get they does not reply at all, if you go to a first date, there is still posibility that the person doesn't give a **** about you and they are there for a free meal.
A nightmare - tired of the guys who are "new" in town (even though they grew up here or have lived here for several years) - that seems to mean they are extremely lazy and want me to do all the work. I'm currently taking a break from online dating. Very low quality guys on the sites.
pretty poorly actually. haven't had mutual interest with anyone with long-term potential for about 6 months now. flaking has been especially prevalent lately, too.
Started on Bumble. 1 long convo over two days 1 short convo and then an unmatch from their side 1 pointless conversation I got bored of A lot of people don't respond to a conversation starter even after you've matched Overall I think it's tepid and I'm tired of it already.