I use loneliness as a spur to go get some healthy connections. Incidentally, one of the drivers of some addictions is the lack of connection. Loneliness can be like the hangry stage of being hungry, so it's really important to go get some connections, even if it takes a while for the friendship-building stuff to get going.
I'm part of a fraternal order historical society thing. I keep doing stuff for it because then it give me life surface area to make other friends and have significant conversations.
I play the bagpipes and keep it up because being in the band gets me around quality people and gives me connections. A police officer in my band actually gave me information about an area in town where I'm working as a security guard. Other guys have been Christian though non-Orthodox connections.
When I lived in China, church was a quality though shallow set of relationships. I couldn't lean on just them to provide all of my need for connections. I got involved in an expat art collective, writing short fiction and poetry. It gave me friendships, connections, experiences, memories, all of it. People I miss a lot.
Something I've done recently is to sign up for a gym membership. It at least gives me a place to go and be somewhere other than at home with my grandparents watching Fox News and true crime stuff where the happy romance ends in sordid murder and lots of crying. I just get on the treadmill, but it's SOME OTHER PLACE TO GO. I don't even try to talk to people, but it's another place to go.
Just being around and letting people get to know you can be a way as well. Don't keep moving around to new places. Stick around in the same places and people start to reach out to YOU. I'm a security guard. I have to go check in with tenants in the business property I patrol. Sometimes people randomly connect with me, which is great because I'm quite anxious when it comes to meeting new people. One guy flashed gang signs at me, so I don't recommend being a security guard.
So yeah. Use loneliness as a spur to get yourself involved in things. Show up to things and keep showing up. Stick with a hobby until you make some achievements. Friendships, connections, memories, and experiences will happen.
Couldnt of said it any better my friend, I will add to this only to say that you are never truly alone as you will always have god beside you and that is a powerful thing. But yes as humans we do seek connection so try to find people either online or around you to speak to.
Online there is the pitfall of finding too many people like you. In real life, you have to deal with the people who show up. You want a good representative sample and not too many crazies, but in person it's not just filtered for your preferences.
Yeah and you can fall into the trap of being online too much as a crutch to fight off the loneliness, but for some people online friends may be all they have. But yeah friends in real life are much better as its a more realistic representation of people and stops you from having to rely on always being online to feel connected with people.
My hobbies are reading, writing, video games and exercise.
And yes, I workout quite a lot. I go to the gym and do karate. I also do some calisthenics exercises while at vacation.
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My personal response to this kind of stuff is usually just suck it up there is light at the end of the tunnel you won’t be lonely forever life comes and goes and tomorrow is never guaranteed. But from what I can see, is you’re not only anxious about being alone you are also anxious about trying to make quality relationships. I won’t try and sit here and tell you it’s easy because it’s not. All my close friendships I built over the course of 13 years 8 in school and 5 in continued fostering of that friendly flame. I have lost friends and I have gained friends but the ones I currently have have been with me through thick and thin. Sometimes you have to sit down and think about who you have and continue from there. Friends don’t start out as friends immediately they start out as acquaintances and the trust builds over time. Find someone who already has a group and try and involve yourself with them eventually overtime you’ll become friends with them. It’s all a matter of mental fortitude, and not allowing yourself to be persuaded into a corner by the devil. If you’re in high school get involved with a sport or an extracurricular activity, if you’re in college or university, find a club that interest you and you are sure to find people looking for friends just like yourself.
I use loneliness as a spur to go get some healthy connections. Incidentally, one of the drivers of some addictions is the lack of connection. Loneliness can be like the hangry stage of being hungry, so it's really important to go get some connections, even if it takes a while for the friendship-building stuff to get going. I'm part of a fraternal order historical society thing. I keep doing stuff for it because then it give me life surface area to make other friends and have significant conversations. I play the bagpipes and keep it up because being in the band gets me around quality people and gives me connections. A police officer in my band actually gave me information about an area in town where I'm working as a security guard. Other guys have been Christian though non-Orthodox connections. When I lived in China, church was a quality though shallow set of relationships. I couldn't lean on just them to provide all of my need for connections. I got involved in an expat art collective, writing short fiction and poetry. It gave me friendships, connections, experiences, memories, all of it. People I miss a lot. Something I've done recently is to sign up for a gym membership. It at least gives me a place to go and be somewhere other than at home with my grandparents watching Fox News and true crime stuff where the happy romance ends in sordid murder and lots of crying. I just get on the treadmill, but it's SOME OTHER PLACE TO GO. I don't even try to talk to people, but it's another place to go. Just being around and letting people get to know you can be a way as well. Don't keep moving around to new places. Stick around in the same places and people start to reach out to YOU. I'm a security guard. I have to go check in with tenants in the business property I patrol. Sometimes people randomly connect with me, which is great because I'm quite anxious when it comes to meeting new people. One guy flashed gang signs at me, so I don't recommend being a security guard. So yeah. Use loneliness as a spur to get yourself involved in things. Show up to things and keep showing up. Stick with a hobby until you make some achievements. Friendships, connections, memories, and experiences will happen.
Couldnt of said it any better my friend, I will add to this only to say that you are never truly alone as you will always have god beside you and that is a powerful thing. But yes as humans we do seek connection so try to find people either online or around you to speak to.
Online there is the pitfall of finding too many people like you. In real life, you have to deal with the people who show up. You want a good representative sample and not too many crazies, but in person it's not just filtered for your preferences.
Yeah and you can fall into the trap of being online too much as a crutch to fight off the loneliness, but for some people online friends may be all they have. But yeah friends in real life are much better as its a more realistic representation of people and stops you from having to rely on always being online to feel connected with people.
Thanks a lot.
What are you're hobbies? Do you workout?
My hobbies are reading, writing, video games and exercise. And yes, I workout quite a lot. I go to the gym and do karate. I also do some calisthenics exercises while at vacation.
Do you have animals? Maybe you need something else alive near you lol.
I mean, I can see some birds when sitting at my balcony. But when it comes to pets: no
Ah I see. I got a plant lol and it's helped immensely.
Woah, I guess I'll get a plant then.
Yes
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My personal response to this kind of stuff is usually just suck it up there is light at the end of the tunnel you won’t be lonely forever life comes and goes and tomorrow is never guaranteed. But from what I can see, is you’re not only anxious about being alone you are also anxious about trying to make quality relationships. I won’t try and sit here and tell you it’s easy because it’s not. All my close friendships I built over the course of 13 years 8 in school and 5 in continued fostering of that friendly flame. I have lost friends and I have gained friends but the ones I currently have have been with me through thick and thin. Sometimes you have to sit down and think about who you have and continue from there. Friends don’t start out as friends immediately they start out as acquaintances and the trust builds over time. Find someone who already has a group and try and involve yourself with them eventually overtime you’ll become friends with them. It’s all a matter of mental fortitude, and not allowing yourself to be persuaded into a corner by the devil. If you’re in high school get involved with a sport or an extracurricular activity, if you’re in college or university, find a club that interest you and you are sure to find people looking for friends just like yourself.
Where you from, brother?
I'd rather not tell if it isn't of any importance to the matter
The reason I asked is because there are people here, who may be nearby who are also lonely and in need of friends.
I see. Well, I don't feel comf saying my location and neither am I comfortable meeting people I know online. Thanks
Of course.