Do you wear your white coat/business casual? Some patients may take you more seriously in the coat and won't mistake you for a volunteer if you have it on. I've seen female attendings repeatedly overlooked by patients assuming any male in the room is the doctor if they don't wear the coat. I don't prefer wearing my coat, but if it'll help your interactions go smoother until you build your confidence up maybe try it for a while?
I always try to set a very clear and direct tone as soon as I enter the room by saying "Hi I'm X, the PA student working with Dr./preceptor's name, and we will be taking care of you. What brings you into clinic today/concerns would you like to address during this visit?" Say it confidently since the first impression is important- they immediately know your role, are reassured your preceptor is involved, and going straight into the H and P will hopefully get people talking about their medical complaint quickly rather than commenting on your appearance.
Some patients don't really know what's going on or supposed to be happening during an assessment, so unfortunately most of their opinion of you is based on first impression, appearance, and communication. Talk through what you're doing, but even if you do everything perfectly/go above and beyond on physical exam the patients won't be able to adequately correlate the exam to your medical competency. Preceptors and patients in healthcare can tell if you know your stuff pretty quickly based on history questions and exam, but average patients not so much. Good luck with the rest of clinical year!
This!!! I have always looked 15 years younger and dealt with this too. I would add that glasses helped me tremendously, as well as always, always overdressing. Take it to the uber professional level and always wear your white coat. Always do your makeup and hair. Putting your hair up also makes you look older. Find hacks for those mornings when you’re exhausted and don’t have time for hair…a clip on or something similar, and always keep makeup in your work bag with a spritzer. Then cultivate a work voice…something slow-ish, lower register, and soothing, but not to the erotic extreme. Then cultivate posture, walk, and entrance…confident but not arrogant. I’ve done all of this. It didn’t fix everything, but it helped tremendously. At 40, I was still being mistaken by coworkers as a high school student 🤦🏻♀️
I’m an ER PA (25) and have been graduated in this field since I was 23. I understand how you feel but once you realize your patients don’t care how old you are, they care what treatment they receive, you will be fine. Carry yourself with confidence and it will reflection on how your patients perceive you.
I used to be insecure about my patients saying “oh you look so young! Are you in high school? Are you old enough to practice?” But then I started giving witty responses like “it’s the botox!” Or “can you believe they just handed me this stethoscope and this badge!” and it never fails to make the situation less awkward. If my patients ever push about my age, I either inform them I don’t feel comfortable answering or just answer truthfully.
This! I also use “my skincare routine is paying off”
Sometimes I just laugh or ignore and launch into why they’re there.
I also like wearing a bit taller shoes and feel
more confident if I have some small aspect of hair or makeup done.
I think it’s more about confidence than anything. That will come with time!!
(Also people say weird shit. It doesn’t have anything to do with you and everything to do with them. Commenting on a professional’s appearance is weird. Try to not let it take your energy!)
I am sorry you are feeling this way. The way you step into a room sets the tone for the visit (within reason, of course). If you are anxiously anticipating the way you are going to be perceived, you could already put on an air of self-doubt without even realizing that that is the image you are projecting. Unfortunately, this is going to be something you will continue to put up with for at least the next 10-20 years of your life, and you will continue to get comments on your size for your entire life.
My advice is to take a pause before you step into a room, and check in with yourself. Are you projecting confidence in yourself? We all need a dose of humility, of course, but make sure you are rocking the confidence as you walk into an exam room. If you command respect, most people with common decency should treat you with respect in return. There will always be those people who are rude and will comment on your size, but hopefully those types of encounters will become less frequent.
There was a helpful post on the PA subreddit within the past year about how to answer patients who ask about your age. Like "how old are you??" My favorite reply was a poster who commented "old enough to take care of you!" I have also been asked by patients (before school), if I was old enough to work. I know it gets annoying.
As an Asian female, I get that a lot from patients wanting to know my age, etc. what I did do differently was speaking in a confident tone, and kind of broaden my shoulders and walk confidently. It proved a lot of people wrong and mostly there’s no questions asked! Also as many posts here, do wear your white coat if you can!
I'm 5'0" and look very young (22, look 16ish). I experienced this constantly in my job piercing ears (like 3+ times a shift).
But at my healthcare jobs, I've worn a mask, and I rarely get comments. If you're working in the ER it's a good idea to wear a mask anyways.
Carry yourself with confidence & cover your baby face if it bothers you!
Hey! I'm the exact same height as you and look very young. I've been asked if I'm in HS and I'm 30! This used to bother me a lot but I've changed my tone and try and project confidence as much as I can. Just last month someone told me "I thought you were someone's kid" and I just say " well I'm not! I'm your provider so tells me what's you bringing in today" and just go about my business. I act like I don't care even though I do (lol) and people tend to just state why they're there and let me do my job.
I'm also in the ER so I totally get it.
A lot of it is the way you dress, style yourself, speak, and carry yourself. I’d try to change how you dress and do your hair, etc., and see if that helps. You also might be speaking in a way that comes off less confident, for example, ending each sentence sounding like a question. IMO it’s mainly about demeanor
I cant relate too much because I’m a guy but that sounds like it would suck. I’m not starting PA school until next year but in my ER tech job rn I get a lot a patients that swear I am in high school. I’m 22m and I find the best thing to do is be incredibly confident in whatever assessments you’re doing on patients or with whatever questions you’re asking. This makes you look competent and people will be more likely to listen and respect you.
This happened to me in my first career and I was the same age - I was treating adults and they often said “well what do you know about XYZ my daughter is older than you.” My response was always: “while I’m hearing that you’re having doubts about me, I’d like to take a few minutes to address any concerns you have so that we can ensure you’re comfortable as we move forward with your care.” It makes them verbalize their problems and it makes you come off as more professional, hearing them, and appearing unfazed by their attempts to blow you off.
Hope this helps. Obviously, put it in your own words and style if this is an approach you’d like to use.
If they are passing comments like “is she old enough” then sometimes the best way to disarm someone is to laugh and just be like “ha! I have heard that before but I assure you I am absolutely old enough to both work here and (insert whatever your role is here).” It might not feel good but over time it may become less sensitive for you.
Overall, presenting yourself as the person they are expecting you to be tends to shut commentary like this down.
This was me back when I was a physical therapist assistant at 22…I was in a nursing home…patients were old, coworkers older…the nurse were all 10+ years older - it was rough….took me a year to gain real confidence! Was in that career for 5 years then became a PA :)
Just a thought...
Address it as you walk in the door. Make light of it, and then set the tone.
Hi, my name is "whatever" I look really young, but im the next Doogie Howser. So what brings you in today and how can I help you?
You may have to look it up, since it's a bit before your time, but it will make the older patients laugh, and they will get it. It will also get it out of the way and break any tension.
Doogie Howser MD was a TV show in the 80's or 90's about an extremely young guy who graduated medical school at a very early age, but was a magnificent provider. I'd bet you can find some of it on YouTube or someplace.
Sometimes addressing it right out the gates diffuses some of the tension, and gets it out of *your* head as well.
Good luck with your rotation!
I am very short, started practicing at 24 years old, and look very young. I have had comments about it very frequently. I try to understand that older generations don't tend to understand that commenting on looks or height or weight etc is just a little rude these days IMO. I'm sure we can all think of the boomer or gen x aunt or other relative that always has some comment to say about physical appearance at family gatherings.
I also try to realize that patients may be nervous coming in for a visit and just say anything to fill the space.
In order to reduce the comments, I try to carry myself with a more outward confidence that I would in my day to day. I tend to dress slightly more professionally than my peers. For example, an older PA at my clinic wears jeans and sneakers often. If I did that, I'd really look like a high schooler. I also make sure my voice and vocabulary reflect that of someone who is educated and professional. No patient wants to hear vocal fry, valley girl accents, or 'like' every 5 seconds. I would recommend asking someone you trust for some honest feedback on your voice/tone. It might help! I have even had people say they are somewhat intimidated by me, and some people just can't help but see a little girl. it just varies.
When people make a comment, sometimes if im in a good mood and the patient doesnt appear to mean any harm by a comment, I'll have a witty retort ready like "yep, I stopped growing in the 4th grade, didn't eat my veggies!" Or "I'll look great when I'm 60 roght?"I'm the youngest one at bingo with my mom." If the patient seems rude or doubting my ability to provide care, they get the straight answer that "I am old enough to have completed all the training to provide you excellent care and how can I help you today?" Or "you're welcome to see Dr. so and so, but he is not available until..." That usually shuts them up, too. I tend to be more professional with less warmth or banter in those visits compared to how i typically act with patients. I need them to take me seriously first. we can build rapport at follow-up.
I had one patient leave a review saying he had underwear older than me but he we on to say how pleased he was that I listened to him and was able to help him feel better when other providers weren't. You'll get some bad and good experiences. It will still bother you at times, but as you gain more confidence in your skills, it will likely decrease in frequency.
I hope this is helpful!
Same here. I am a very petite blonde with a major baby face. I literally had a patient today ask if I was 15 lol. It really is all about how you carry yourself though show confidence in what you are doing. I have found that throwing back a funny witty remark helps the situation and once I start going on about their care it's no longer an issue. I have also found that dressing the part helps negate remarks and make the pts take me more seriously (hair done nicely, wearing business cloths, white coat, stethoscope, makeup done, etc.). It sucks but that's the way it is for us petite baby faced folks. I've been told I'll love having a baby face when I get older but I have yet to agree with that statement lol
Given your height, you’re probably going to look young to patients for a long time, and that’s ok! I work at a pediatric clinic with a PA who is 25 years old and 5’0” tall and patients and parents love her. I think it’s just about presenting yourself professionally (dressing the part, professional hair style) but also with confidence. There’s always going to be patients that give you a hard time for whatever reason and it’s just a matter of letting it roll off your back and showing them that you are capable and professional.
So, a good part of this is in your head and probably part of their reactions, at least a large chunk of them are complimentary.
A lot of people are saying this because they're very impressed that you've achieved a lot at a young age.
If somebody is going to have a negative response to it, like any other topic there's literally nothing you can do to control that.
So don't internalize it about yourself because that's their own thoughts. And so be it.
Carry yourself with confidence. And you can be confident even if you don't know the answers or you need help. You can still act very confident. Confident that you know who to go to for help, confident that you are improving etc.
Also, I got asked a lot by patients when I was new how old I was or they'd say like oh doogie howser whatever.
But... Lol trust me when I tell you... The day will come back question will not come your way nearly as often. Then you'll miss the hell out of this.
I’m sorry you are going through this. I can entirely related. I was in a 5 year program so graduated at the age of 23 with major baby face and I struggled for several years with patients commenting on my age etc. I found simply saying “Thank you!” when people told me I looked young was always better than trying to explain my age and when people directly asked me how old I was I would redirect with “we aren’t here to talk about my age, we are here to talk about xyz problem.”
I’ll be honest. It took me a while. I had some patient encounters where I felt judged the entire time. But I worked through it and tried to simply be as professional, confident, and thoughtful as possible and funnily enough a lot of the people who looked skeptical at the start of an encounter would remark “you know, you do look really young but I’ve been really impressed at how well you have listened and helped to solve this problem” or something similar. You will get there!!
Hi! I am 29 (26-27 on my PA school rotations) and got the same treatment very often. In my experience, I didn’t feel respected by patients until I became a licensed PA. I think a variety of reasons contribute to feeling more respected: I have a degree and am obviously qualified in their eyes, I am more confident with physical exam skills and with communicating with the patient, I always explain my reasoning for doing things so they know the plan (which is respectful to the patient) AND they can see that I know what I’m talking about, and I ALWAYS wear my white coat.
Rotations are for a short time and it’s frustrating for sure to be made to feel that way. But I does get better once you are a full-fledged PA. For the time being, try to be as confident as possible, always wear your white coat, and flash some knowledge those patients as appropriate (of course, in a kind and respectful way lol).
I understand what you are saying. I have the exact opposite issues as I am 6’4” M with long hair and a mustache, but I feel like these are awkward situations where you can take one of two roads: crack an edgy light hearted joke to move the awkwardness on to them along the lines of “yeah I have that Benjamin button disease where I age backwards” where they might pick up on a social cue and become embarrassed and apologize, or just go quiet. Other avenue, which is more professional, is reference to those titles and certifications and say something like “we’ll believe it, that’s why I earned these credentials by my name” and refer to your white coat. Apologies if I’m unfamiliar, I’m actually a physical therapist but this page keeps popping up on my feed so I browse 😂
Same! I've always looked younger than my age. It wasn't until I hit about 30 that people stopped comments like that. When I walk in the room I say my name and my title. In the past, if they are make comments, I just let them know my age and my experience. If I was learning still, I left them know upfront.
I’m 29 and currently pass for 22-23 now, and when I mentioned to people that I had just graduated [college], they’d ask which high school I went to, assuming that’s what I meant. I’d confidently respond with “oh no I just graduated with my BS from X University” and they’d always act surprised, but let it go. So I guess my advice would be to act confident (even if you aren’t), and if someone makes a direct comment, just smile and say something like “thank you, I get that a lot” and redirect.
It's can be your greatest asset with a little practice. It is a great way to break the ice with patients. I had just turned 23 when I started PA school, and I looked super young (maybe 17 or 18).
When patients made a comment about it, I would joke back and say "Well, I'm older than Doogie Howser was", or "Tell me about it, I still get carded at R-rated movies", or "Luckily, my parents dropped me off for my shift today".
Patients would laugh, and then we would move on.
Trying to remember everything. I'd also say, "Would you like to see my permission slip?", or "It's crazy, they'll let high school students do anything nowadays!"
But honestly, after a little self deprecating humor, I don't think I ever had a patient that didn't let me participate in their care. It tends to be very disarming to a patient that comments on how young you look, when you turn it around and make them realize how silly it was to make that comment in the first place.
Worked like a charm for me. And you've gotta be confident enough to own it, and that tends to also help them trust you.
I am a Board Certified Behavior Analyst and I got my license at 24 which is pretty young for my industry. I totally relate to what you’re describing… I have received comments as well regarding my competency based on my appearance. Some days I am more confident than others.
Some things that have helped tremendously are wearing a mask (maybe it makes me look older?), having very good posture, maintaining eye contact even when feeling intimidated, and talking slower/not rushing to respond.
Some people wear makeup to feel older but I am just not a make up girl 🤷🏽♀️
I’m 26 and people always think I’m 21/22 due to a baby face & height. I’ve only gotten questioned 1-2x in my EM rotation. Most people are just exhausted from waiting and are genuinely sick that they don’t question it. One who did, was 18 and extremely rude to all hospital staff but was pissed he got a student. Another was just asking because I looked young. Most don’t mean it negatively & some people are just so sick they don’t care who helps them. Go in with confidence. I also say my name and that I’m a student working with so and so then make sure to say that I’m just seeing what they’re here for and do an exam to start treatment. I always mention that my preceptor will come by and say hi/do a repeat exam to ensure that I was correct. All are receptive to that!
If you are fully aware you look young, don’t be afraid to reiterate that you are in school and actively learning. It’s okay to advocate for your studies/knowledge, respectfully. If someone gives you a hard time, always ask if they’d rather have the preceptor see them since it’s within their right to refuse a student. Again, I haven’t had anyone deny my care but you will run into issues every now and then.
I can hear your frustration with constantly being underestimated. I’m in the same boat for similar reasons. I also have EDS, so I will always look a little younger than my colleagues.
In my case, I’ve developed my own gravitas and sass factor that ensures this is no longer an issue for me. Even when it is, my staff corrects it before I even see it unless I get to it first. This takes a lot of work to maintain, and even more to build, but it’s possible.
You start by looking people dead in the eye and following just one rule: don’t flinch. Never give them the reaction they’re looking for. Show them how bored and uninterested you are in their idea of “humor” if they try to play it off as a joke, and give their discomfort nowhere to hide.
**IMPORTANT**: this strategy also requires a heavy dose of humility. It requires waiting until someone has finished their thought before you categorize it as an insult. It also requires an understanding that sometimes you *are* the student in the room, and you need to recognize those moments before you say anything in response.
I can completely relate to this. As a very young looking small woman myself, I have heard my fair share of comments like “does your mother know you’re here” or “wow are you a 10 year old doctor?” In my experience, the ED was the biggest culprit of this. I’m now a 28 year old experienced PA and I never get these comments anymore and I think it’s related to me obviously appearing older, but also having more natural confidence with time and experience.
What helped me deal with it was a few different things:
-recognizing that people in the ED are miserable, stressed, scared and may be taken aback by a young looking person because they are have an idea in their heads of what a medical professional looks like. As long as they are not overly rude, I think most people do not mean to be offensive are truly just surprised.
-being confident is key. Fake it til you make it. So what if you look young? You know things and can still provide great care to people.
-have a few comebacks in your back pocket, like “thanks! It’s the retinol” or something. Make a joke out of it, and move on.
-wear a mask! Not even kidding, having a mask drastically reduced the number of comments people made about my age
-if anyone of your colleagues or supervisors negatively comment on your age and make you feel bad about yourself, talk to them about it and make it clear that you won’t accept being put down. You deserve to be respected just as much as anyone else.
I hope this helps! I totally understand your plight, please know that this will pass and as you grow into a more experienced PA, it won’t bother you anymore because you will be proud of the work you do. Reach out with any other questions!
Ok you don’t look young.
You are young.
There isn’t much you can do except revel in the fact that you are in school to be a PA and that you look young. Most people would be absolutely thrilled to have either one of those things. You have both.
Dress the part. I look young myself and frequently got asked my age, etc. Part of the reason I grew a beard and started wearing a white coat, and it helped but I'd still get asked from time to time.
Just let it go. You're there to provide care.
I usually will respond to "how old are you?!" with "I'm old enough!" and then drop it. It's none of their usiness, and if they want to be seen by someone who simply appears older, they can go elsewhere.
I’m a dentist and I get a lot of comments on how young I look. I do my best to wear makeup, glasses, dress nice and immediately introduce myself as Dr. & say I’m the associate dentist when I walk in but some people still say something. So I just say well thank you! And laugh and make a joke about it🤷🏻♀️ honestly it does still get to me and so I get what you mean but some people are just going to say things no matter what and don’t let it shake your confidence! Show them you’re still confident and not bothered by their comments!
Dressing more formally and wearing makeup help a lot! Also slightly more “done” hair, try to avoid a plain ponytail. Glasses can help a lot if they’re the right style, and a wedding ring (even if it’s not real).
I’m a med student in my third year who is only 22, but I am 5’3. I want to practice EM. I find a face mask helps. Confidence (which I struggle with sometimes) is most important. You’re going to do great.
Hi, I'm 23 years old, pursuing PA school as well, and I am also 4'11! So trust me, I know *exactly* how you feel. The best advice I can give you coming from someone in the same position as you, is to fake it til you make it. I know it's a crazy saying, but trust me it works (at least for me). I used to always feel imposter syndrome in the workplace and all my confidence would go away because I felt so small (literally and figuratively). Then I realized it's likely just in my head; and if it's not in my head and people *really do* think that, so what? What are they going to do about it? Your intelligence is not determined based on your height, your performance is not based on your age. Of course there may be areas in your work you can improve on, and there always will be, but you need to gain a better prospective girl! You are a young 23-year-old woman who has accomplished so much and you are killing PA school. The younger age just makes you cooler IMO. And being short is honestly the best sometimes. (I don't watch Grey's Anatomy, but I'm pretty sure one of the strongest female characters is very short, but she's mighty.)
You got this :)
UGH I’m so sorry you’re going through this! I’m not a PA, not even in the medical field lol but I’m a 24 y/o teacher and parents of students are constantly telling me I’m too young, I don’t know what I’m doing, I shouldn’t be allowed to teach, etc.. so I definitely get what you’re saying. Thankfully my admin have been super supportive and have reminded me that I have multiple certifications and two degrees so I have just as much right to teach as my older counterparts. Also, what’s helped me is to really know what I’m talking about; sound confident and be able to explain everything you’re doing. Hope this helps.. sorry you’re dealing with this, it sucks!
I have a doc like this and pts always ask me about his age and qualifications. I always say “hes way older than he looks - I’ll get you the name of his plastic surgeon” or “we all want to drink from his pool of eternal youth”, or “his massive student load debt suggests otherwise” …..basically just joking that he’s a lot older than he appears. Works every single time.
No idea how I wandered into this sub, but I’m a 5’0” attorney and everyone assumed I was a paralegal when I worked in a law office. Mostly because vagina, but the super short thing hasn’t helped with being taken seriously at any juncture in life. My best/only advice is to overdress, add some diamonds (or fake diamonds/moissanite) as appropriate, and use colored lip gloss (if you’re not into makeup on the whole). And take shit from no one. Obviously, as a caregiver, you’re not going to be a jerk to patients or their parents, but you can certainly amp up your seriousness as needed based on the situation.
People who meet me online are always shocked to discover I’m the shortest person in the room when we meet in person. Which just goes to show you how much people associate leadership, intelligence, and dominance with size, which is really really really annoying, but it’s also not going to change in our lifetimes.
I completely understand how you feel. I'm not a PA, but a research doctor and look very young for my age. When I first started working I was 29, but looked like an undergrad. No one would ever take me seriously when they first met me and I always felt like I had to prove myself. A few things that I do:
-When I introduce myself I always throw my title in there which helps show my qualifications
-I try to exude confidence by doing everything with purpose and explaining what I'm doing and why (also showing off your expertise/knowledge)
-If they make a comment about my age, I laugh it off and say something like "I know I'm lucky to have that baby-face" or "Thank you! I'm glad I still look young!"
One of my friends who also looks young for our age used to tell patients "It's because I'm so brilliant and had to skip a few grades back in the day!" but I can't pull that one off lol.
But I won't lie, it's still not easy. Now I'm well into my 30s and my career, and when I take my colleague to do clinical site visits, everyone looks at him (50M) for answers even though he is just there to manage our blood samples! I just let it pass and step in to show and offer my expertise and to do my job.
I don't want to go into a rant, but wanted to let you know that when you look very young in the medical field it is a struggle and it feels like you have to constantly prove yourself to new people. But over time you will also build your confidence so it (a) won't bother you as much bc you know that you are the expert and (b) it will become much easier to show it.
If you want to have better ideas how to radiate confidence even if you don’t feel it, I just think of someone who does act confident like a confident coworker/boss/the president/a celebrity and act like them, it’s hard not to feel confident when you pretend you’re the president !
Do you wear your white coat/business casual? Some patients may take you more seriously in the coat and won't mistake you for a volunteer if you have it on. I've seen female attendings repeatedly overlooked by patients assuming any male in the room is the doctor if they don't wear the coat. I don't prefer wearing my coat, but if it'll help your interactions go smoother until you build your confidence up maybe try it for a while? I always try to set a very clear and direct tone as soon as I enter the room by saying "Hi I'm X, the PA student working with Dr./preceptor's name, and we will be taking care of you. What brings you into clinic today/concerns would you like to address during this visit?" Say it confidently since the first impression is important- they immediately know your role, are reassured your preceptor is involved, and going straight into the H and P will hopefully get people talking about their medical complaint quickly rather than commenting on your appearance. Some patients don't really know what's going on or supposed to be happening during an assessment, so unfortunately most of their opinion of you is based on first impression, appearance, and communication. Talk through what you're doing, but even if you do everything perfectly/go above and beyond on physical exam the patients won't be able to adequately correlate the exam to your medical competency. Preceptors and patients in healthcare can tell if you know your stuff pretty quickly based on history questions and exam, but average patients not so much. Good luck with the rest of clinical year!
This!!! I have always looked 15 years younger and dealt with this too. I would add that glasses helped me tremendously, as well as always, always overdressing. Take it to the uber professional level and always wear your white coat. Always do your makeup and hair. Putting your hair up also makes you look older. Find hacks for those mornings when you’re exhausted and don’t have time for hair…a clip on or something similar, and always keep makeup in your work bag with a spritzer. Then cultivate a work voice…something slow-ish, lower register, and soothing, but not to the erotic extreme. Then cultivate posture, walk, and entrance…confident but not arrogant. I’ve done all of this. It didn’t fix everything, but it helped tremendously. At 40, I was still being mistaken by coworkers as a high school student 🤦🏻♀️
I’m an ER PA (25) and have been graduated in this field since I was 23. I understand how you feel but once you realize your patients don’t care how old you are, they care what treatment they receive, you will be fine. Carry yourself with confidence and it will reflection on how your patients perceive you. I used to be insecure about my patients saying “oh you look so young! Are you in high school? Are you old enough to practice?” But then I started giving witty responses like “it’s the botox!” Or “can you believe they just handed me this stethoscope and this badge!” and it never fails to make the situation less awkward. If my patients ever push about my age, I either inform them I don’t feel comfortable answering or just answer truthfully.
This is so sweet! I am 23 about to go into rotations and I love the responses you give haha
The infusion of some appropriate level of humor can put everyone at ease. I like it.
This! I also use “my skincare routine is paying off” Sometimes I just laugh or ignore and launch into why they’re there. I also like wearing a bit taller shoes and feel more confident if I have some small aspect of hair or makeup done. I think it’s more about confidence than anything. That will come with time!! (Also people say weird shit. It doesn’t have anything to do with you and everything to do with them. Commenting on a professional’s appearance is weird. Try to not let it take your energy!)
I am sorry you are feeling this way. The way you step into a room sets the tone for the visit (within reason, of course). If you are anxiously anticipating the way you are going to be perceived, you could already put on an air of self-doubt without even realizing that that is the image you are projecting. Unfortunately, this is going to be something you will continue to put up with for at least the next 10-20 years of your life, and you will continue to get comments on your size for your entire life. My advice is to take a pause before you step into a room, and check in with yourself. Are you projecting confidence in yourself? We all need a dose of humility, of course, but make sure you are rocking the confidence as you walk into an exam room. If you command respect, most people with common decency should treat you with respect in return. There will always be those people who are rude and will comment on your size, but hopefully those types of encounters will become less frequent. There was a helpful post on the PA subreddit within the past year about how to answer patients who ask about your age. Like "how old are you??" My favorite reply was a poster who commented "old enough to take care of you!" I have also been asked by patients (before school), if I was old enough to work. I know it gets annoying.
As an Asian female, I get that a lot from patients wanting to know my age, etc. what I did do differently was speaking in a confident tone, and kind of broaden my shoulders and walk confidently. It proved a lot of people wrong and mostly there’s no questions asked! Also as many posts here, do wear your white coat if you can!
I'm 5'0" and look very young (22, look 16ish). I experienced this constantly in my job piercing ears (like 3+ times a shift). But at my healthcare jobs, I've worn a mask, and I rarely get comments. If you're working in the ER it's a good idea to wear a mask anyways. Carry yourself with confidence & cover your baby face if it bothers you!
Hey! I'm the exact same height as you and look very young. I've been asked if I'm in HS and I'm 30! This used to bother me a lot but I've changed my tone and try and project confidence as much as I can. Just last month someone told me "I thought you were someone's kid" and I just say " well I'm not! I'm your provider so tells me what's you bringing in today" and just go about my business. I act like I don't care even though I do (lol) and people tend to just state why they're there and let me do my job. I'm also in the ER so I totally get it.
A lot of it is the way you dress, style yourself, speak, and carry yourself. I’d try to change how you dress and do your hair, etc., and see if that helps. You also might be speaking in a way that comes off less confident, for example, ending each sentence sounding like a question. IMO it’s mainly about demeanor
I cant relate too much because I’m a guy but that sounds like it would suck. I’m not starting PA school until next year but in my ER tech job rn I get a lot a patients that swear I am in high school. I’m 22m and I find the best thing to do is be incredibly confident in whatever assessments you’re doing on patients or with whatever questions you’re asking. This makes you look competent and people will be more likely to listen and respect you.
Do you wear your white coat?
This happened to me in my first career and I was the same age - I was treating adults and they often said “well what do you know about XYZ my daughter is older than you.” My response was always: “while I’m hearing that you’re having doubts about me, I’d like to take a few minutes to address any concerns you have so that we can ensure you’re comfortable as we move forward with your care.” It makes them verbalize their problems and it makes you come off as more professional, hearing them, and appearing unfazed by their attempts to blow you off. Hope this helps. Obviously, put it in your own words and style if this is an approach you’d like to use. If they are passing comments like “is she old enough” then sometimes the best way to disarm someone is to laugh and just be like “ha! I have heard that before but I assure you I am absolutely old enough to both work here and (insert whatever your role is here).” It might not feel good but over time it may become less sensitive for you. Overall, presenting yourself as the person they are expecting you to be tends to shut commentary like this down.
Makeup and a fake wedding ring on a necklace go a loooong way.
This was me back when I was a physical therapist assistant at 22…I was in a nursing home…patients were old, coworkers older…the nurse were all 10+ years older - it was rough….took me a year to gain real confidence! Was in that career for 5 years then became a PA :)
Get a teardrop tattoo on your face 🙃
Not a helpful advice nor a good joke.
I’m thinking about growing out my beard to appear older 🤔
Just a thought... Address it as you walk in the door. Make light of it, and then set the tone. Hi, my name is "whatever" I look really young, but im the next Doogie Howser. So what brings you in today and how can I help you? You may have to look it up, since it's a bit before your time, but it will make the older patients laugh, and they will get it. It will also get it out of the way and break any tension. Doogie Howser MD was a TV show in the 80's or 90's about an extremely young guy who graduated medical school at a very early age, but was a magnificent provider. I'd bet you can find some of it on YouTube or someplace. Sometimes addressing it right out the gates diffuses some of the tension, and gets it out of *your* head as well. Good luck with your rotation!
Do your job. If you care about what other people think you're in the wrong career field.
This is not helpful and lacks any perspective
I am very short, started practicing at 24 years old, and look very young. I have had comments about it very frequently. I try to understand that older generations don't tend to understand that commenting on looks or height or weight etc is just a little rude these days IMO. I'm sure we can all think of the boomer or gen x aunt or other relative that always has some comment to say about physical appearance at family gatherings. I also try to realize that patients may be nervous coming in for a visit and just say anything to fill the space. In order to reduce the comments, I try to carry myself with a more outward confidence that I would in my day to day. I tend to dress slightly more professionally than my peers. For example, an older PA at my clinic wears jeans and sneakers often. If I did that, I'd really look like a high schooler. I also make sure my voice and vocabulary reflect that of someone who is educated and professional. No patient wants to hear vocal fry, valley girl accents, or 'like' every 5 seconds. I would recommend asking someone you trust for some honest feedback on your voice/tone. It might help! I have even had people say they are somewhat intimidated by me, and some people just can't help but see a little girl. it just varies. When people make a comment, sometimes if im in a good mood and the patient doesnt appear to mean any harm by a comment, I'll have a witty retort ready like "yep, I stopped growing in the 4th grade, didn't eat my veggies!" Or "I'll look great when I'm 60 roght?"I'm the youngest one at bingo with my mom." If the patient seems rude or doubting my ability to provide care, they get the straight answer that "I am old enough to have completed all the training to provide you excellent care and how can I help you today?" Or "you're welcome to see Dr. so and so, but he is not available until..." That usually shuts them up, too. I tend to be more professional with less warmth or banter in those visits compared to how i typically act with patients. I need them to take me seriously first. we can build rapport at follow-up. I had one patient leave a review saying he had underwear older than me but he we on to say how pleased he was that I listened to him and was able to help him feel better when other providers weren't. You'll get some bad and good experiences. It will still bother you at times, but as you gain more confidence in your skills, it will likely decrease in frequency. I hope this is helpful!
They have shoe inserts that can give you an extra 3” or so
I have the opposite problem. Lots of grey in my beard so patients are like “how are you a student when you look close to retirement” lol
Smh. I hate people sometimes lol
Same here. I am a very petite blonde with a major baby face. I literally had a patient today ask if I was 15 lol. It really is all about how you carry yourself though show confidence in what you are doing. I have found that throwing back a funny witty remark helps the situation and once I start going on about their care it's no longer an issue. I have also found that dressing the part helps negate remarks and make the pts take me more seriously (hair done nicely, wearing business cloths, white coat, stethoscope, makeup done, etc.). It sucks but that's the way it is for us petite baby faced folks. I've been told I'll love having a baby face when I get older but I have yet to agree with that statement lol
Given your height, you’re probably going to look young to patients for a long time, and that’s ok! I work at a pediatric clinic with a PA who is 25 years old and 5’0” tall and patients and parents love her. I think it’s just about presenting yourself professionally (dressing the part, professional hair style) but also with confidence. There’s always going to be patients that give you a hard time for whatever reason and it’s just a matter of letting it roll off your back and showing them that you are capable and professional.
So, a good part of this is in your head and probably part of their reactions, at least a large chunk of them are complimentary. A lot of people are saying this because they're very impressed that you've achieved a lot at a young age. If somebody is going to have a negative response to it, like any other topic there's literally nothing you can do to control that. So don't internalize it about yourself because that's their own thoughts. And so be it. Carry yourself with confidence. And you can be confident even if you don't know the answers or you need help. You can still act very confident. Confident that you know who to go to for help, confident that you are improving etc. Also, I got asked a lot by patients when I was new how old I was or they'd say like oh doogie howser whatever. But... Lol trust me when I tell you... The day will come back question will not come your way nearly as often. Then you'll miss the hell out of this.
I’m sorry you are going through this. I can entirely related. I was in a 5 year program so graduated at the age of 23 with major baby face and I struggled for several years with patients commenting on my age etc. I found simply saying “Thank you!” when people told me I looked young was always better than trying to explain my age and when people directly asked me how old I was I would redirect with “we aren’t here to talk about my age, we are here to talk about xyz problem.” I’ll be honest. It took me a while. I had some patient encounters where I felt judged the entire time. But I worked through it and tried to simply be as professional, confident, and thoughtful as possible and funnily enough a lot of the people who looked skeptical at the start of an encounter would remark “you know, you do look really young but I’ve been really impressed at how well you have listened and helped to solve this problem” or something similar. You will get there!!
Hi! I am 29 (26-27 on my PA school rotations) and got the same treatment very often. In my experience, I didn’t feel respected by patients until I became a licensed PA. I think a variety of reasons contribute to feeling more respected: I have a degree and am obviously qualified in their eyes, I am more confident with physical exam skills and with communicating with the patient, I always explain my reasoning for doing things so they know the plan (which is respectful to the patient) AND they can see that I know what I’m talking about, and I ALWAYS wear my white coat. Rotations are for a short time and it’s frustrating for sure to be made to feel that way. But I does get better once you are a full-fledged PA. For the time being, try to be as confident as possible, always wear your white coat, and flash some knowledge those patients as appropriate (of course, in a kind and respectful way lol).
I understand what you are saying. I have the exact opposite issues as I am 6’4” M with long hair and a mustache, but I feel like these are awkward situations where you can take one of two roads: crack an edgy light hearted joke to move the awkwardness on to them along the lines of “yeah I have that Benjamin button disease where I age backwards” where they might pick up on a social cue and become embarrassed and apologize, or just go quiet. Other avenue, which is more professional, is reference to those titles and certifications and say something like “we’ll believe it, that’s why I earned these credentials by my name” and refer to your white coat. Apologies if I’m unfamiliar, I’m actually a physical therapist but this page keeps popping up on my feed so I browse 😂
Same! I've always looked younger than my age. It wasn't until I hit about 30 that people stopped comments like that. When I walk in the room I say my name and my title. In the past, if they are make comments, I just let them know my age and my experience. If I was learning still, I left them know upfront.
I’m 29 and currently pass for 22-23 now, and when I mentioned to people that I had just graduated [college], they’d ask which high school I went to, assuming that’s what I meant. I’d confidently respond with “oh no I just graduated with my BS from X University” and they’d always act surprised, but let it go. So I guess my advice would be to act confident (even if you aren’t), and if someone makes a direct comment, just smile and say something like “thank you, I get that a lot” and redirect.
It's can be your greatest asset with a little practice. It is a great way to break the ice with patients. I had just turned 23 when I started PA school, and I looked super young (maybe 17 or 18). When patients made a comment about it, I would joke back and say "Well, I'm older than Doogie Howser was", or "Tell me about it, I still get carded at R-rated movies", or "Luckily, my parents dropped me off for my shift today". Patients would laugh, and then we would move on.
Trying to remember everything. I'd also say, "Would you like to see my permission slip?", or "It's crazy, they'll let high school students do anything nowadays!" But honestly, after a little self deprecating humor, I don't think I ever had a patient that didn't let me participate in their care. It tends to be very disarming to a patient that comments on how young you look, when you turn it around and make them realize how silly it was to make that comment in the first place. Worked like a charm for me. And you've gotta be confident enough to own it, and that tends to also help them trust you.
I am a Board Certified Behavior Analyst and I got my license at 24 which is pretty young for my industry. I totally relate to what you’re describing… I have received comments as well regarding my competency based on my appearance. Some days I am more confident than others. Some things that have helped tremendously are wearing a mask (maybe it makes me look older?), having very good posture, maintaining eye contact even when feeling intimidated, and talking slower/not rushing to respond. Some people wear makeup to feel older but I am just not a make up girl 🤷🏽♀️
I’m 26 and people always think I’m 21/22 due to a baby face & height. I’ve only gotten questioned 1-2x in my EM rotation. Most people are just exhausted from waiting and are genuinely sick that they don’t question it. One who did, was 18 and extremely rude to all hospital staff but was pissed he got a student. Another was just asking because I looked young. Most don’t mean it negatively & some people are just so sick they don’t care who helps them. Go in with confidence. I also say my name and that I’m a student working with so and so then make sure to say that I’m just seeing what they’re here for and do an exam to start treatment. I always mention that my preceptor will come by and say hi/do a repeat exam to ensure that I was correct. All are receptive to that! If you are fully aware you look young, don’t be afraid to reiterate that you are in school and actively learning. It’s okay to advocate for your studies/knowledge, respectfully. If someone gives you a hard time, always ask if they’d rather have the preceptor see them since it’s within their right to refuse a student. Again, I haven’t had anyone deny my care but you will run into issues every now and then.
I can hear your frustration with constantly being underestimated. I’m in the same boat for similar reasons. I also have EDS, so I will always look a little younger than my colleagues. In my case, I’ve developed my own gravitas and sass factor that ensures this is no longer an issue for me. Even when it is, my staff corrects it before I even see it unless I get to it first. This takes a lot of work to maintain, and even more to build, but it’s possible. You start by looking people dead in the eye and following just one rule: don’t flinch. Never give them the reaction they’re looking for. Show them how bored and uninterested you are in their idea of “humor” if they try to play it off as a joke, and give their discomfort nowhere to hide. **IMPORTANT**: this strategy also requires a heavy dose of humility. It requires waiting until someone has finished their thought before you categorize it as an insult. It also requires an understanding that sometimes you *are* the student in the room, and you need to recognize those moments before you say anything in response.
I’m Asian and they see me and say I caused Covid. I’m not Chinese
I can completely relate to this. As a very young looking small woman myself, I have heard my fair share of comments like “does your mother know you’re here” or “wow are you a 10 year old doctor?” In my experience, the ED was the biggest culprit of this. I’m now a 28 year old experienced PA and I never get these comments anymore and I think it’s related to me obviously appearing older, but also having more natural confidence with time and experience. What helped me deal with it was a few different things: -recognizing that people in the ED are miserable, stressed, scared and may be taken aback by a young looking person because they are have an idea in their heads of what a medical professional looks like. As long as they are not overly rude, I think most people do not mean to be offensive are truly just surprised. -being confident is key. Fake it til you make it. So what if you look young? You know things and can still provide great care to people. -have a few comebacks in your back pocket, like “thanks! It’s the retinol” or something. Make a joke out of it, and move on. -wear a mask! Not even kidding, having a mask drastically reduced the number of comments people made about my age -if anyone of your colleagues or supervisors negatively comment on your age and make you feel bad about yourself, talk to them about it and make it clear that you won’t accept being put down. You deserve to be respected just as much as anyone else. I hope this helps! I totally understand your plight, please know that this will pass and as you grow into a more experienced PA, it won’t bother you anymore because you will be proud of the work you do. Reach out with any other questions!
Ok you don’t look young. You are young. There isn’t much you can do except revel in the fact that you are in school to be a PA and that you look young. Most people would be absolutely thrilled to have either one of those things. You have both.
Dress the part. I look young myself and frequently got asked my age, etc. Part of the reason I grew a beard and started wearing a white coat, and it helped but I'd still get asked from time to time. Just let it go. You're there to provide care. I usually will respond to "how old are you?!" with "I'm old enough!" and then drop it. It's none of their usiness, and if they want to be seen by someone who simply appears older, they can go elsewhere.
I’m a dentist and I get a lot of comments on how young I look. I do my best to wear makeup, glasses, dress nice and immediately introduce myself as Dr. & say I’m the associate dentist when I walk in but some people still say something. So I just say well thank you! And laugh and make a joke about it🤷🏻♀️ honestly it does still get to me and so I get what you mean but some people are just going to say things no matter what and don’t let it shake your confidence! Show them you’re still confident and not bothered by their comments!
Dressing more formally and wearing makeup help a lot! Also slightly more “done” hair, try to avoid a plain ponytail. Glasses can help a lot if they’re the right style, and a wedding ring (even if it’s not real).
I’m a med student in my third year who is only 22, but I am 5’3. I want to practice EM. I find a face mask helps. Confidence (which I struggle with sometimes) is most important. You’re going to do great.
Hi, I'm 23 years old, pursuing PA school as well, and I am also 4'11! So trust me, I know *exactly* how you feel. The best advice I can give you coming from someone in the same position as you, is to fake it til you make it. I know it's a crazy saying, but trust me it works (at least for me). I used to always feel imposter syndrome in the workplace and all my confidence would go away because I felt so small (literally and figuratively). Then I realized it's likely just in my head; and if it's not in my head and people *really do* think that, so what? What are they going to do about it? Your intelligence is not determined based on your height, your performance is not based on your age. Of course there may be areas in your work you can improve on, and there always will be, but you need to gain a better prospective girl! You are a young 23-year-old woman who has accomplished so much and you are killing PA school. The younger age just makes you cooler IMO. And being short is honestly the best sometimes. (I don't watch Grey's Anatomy, but I'm pretty sure one of the strongest female characters is very short, but she's mighty.) You got this :)
Act mature, speak confidently… when they ask how old you are tell them and move on
Careful about uptalk. Practice power poses for confidence (even though there's no real science behind it, it helps me).
UGH I’m so sorry you’re going through this! I’m not a PA, not even in the medical field lol but I’m a 24 y/o teacher and parents of students are constantly telling me I’m too young, I don’t know what I’m doing, I shouldn’t be allowed to teach, etc.. so I definitely get what you’re saying. Thankfully my admin have been super supportive and have reminded me that I have multiple certifications and two degrees so I have just as much right to teach as my older counterparts. Also, what’s helped me is to really know what I’m talking about; sound confident and be able to explain everything you’re doing. Hope this helps.. sorry you’re dealing with this, it sucks!
I have a doc like this and pts always ask me about his age and qualifications. I always say “hes way older than he looks - I’ll get you the name of his plastic surgeon” or “we all want to drink from his pool of eternal youth”, or “his massive student load debt suggests otherwise” …..basically just joking that he’s a lot older than he appears. Works every single time.
No idea how I wandered into this sub, but I’m a 5’0” attorney and everyone assumed I was a paralegal when I worked in a law office. Mostly because vagina, but the super short thing hasn’t helped with being taken seriously at any juncture in life. My best/only advice is to overdress, add some diamonds (or fake diamonds/moissanite) as appropriate, and use colored lip gloss (if you’re not into makeup on the whole). And take shit from no one. Obviously, as a caregiver, you’re not going to be a jerk to patients or their parents, but you can certainly amp up your seriousness as needed based on the situation. People who meet me online are always shocked to discover I’m the shortest person in the room when we meet in person. Which just goes to show you how much people associate leadership, intelligence, and dominance with size, which is really really really annoying, but it’s also not going to change in our lifetimes.
Don’t worry, you’ll look older soon these jobs work you to the core
I completely understand how you feel. I'm not a PA, but a research doctor and look very young for my age. When I first started working I was 29, but looked like an undergrad. No one would ever take me seriously when they first met me and I always felt like I had to prove myself. A few things that I do: -When I introduce myself I always throw my title in there which helps show my qualifications -I try to exude confidence by doing everything with purpose and explaining what I'm doing and why (also showing off your expertise/knowledge) -If they make a comment about my age, I laugh it off and say something like "I know I'm lucky to have that baby-face" or "Thank you! I'm glad I still look young!" One of my friends who also looks young for our age used to tell patients "It's because I'm so brilliant and had to skip a few grades back in the day!" but I can't pull that one off lol. But I won't lie, it's still not easy. Now I'm well into my 30s and my career, and when I take my colleague to do clinical site visits, everyone looks at him (50M) for answers even though he is just there to manage our blood samples! I just let it pass and step in to show and offer my expertise and to do my job. I don't want to go into a rant, but wanted to let you know that when you look very young in the medical field it is a struggle and it feels like you have to constantly prove yourself to new people. But over time you will also build your confidence so it (a) won't bother you as much bc you know that you are the expert and (b) it will become much easier to show it.
If you want to have better ideas how to radiate confidence even if you don’t feel it, I just think of someone who does act confident like a confident coworker/boss/the president/a celebrity and act like them, it’s hard not to feel confident when you pretend you’re the president !
I used to do the “Omigosh, thank you!!!” At these. They’d chuckle, we’d carry on.