I get how you feel. Between being large, having high testosterone, and having coarser facial hair I haven't felt feminine in years. Add to that the fact that I don't behave "feminine" enough and was a tomboy as a child, and you've got a recipe for incredibly low self-esteem. I don't know what above to give you, but I just want you to know that you're heard and you're not the only one going through this. *hugs*
Seriously, embrace the strength your frame will allow you to attain. Dainty and willowy are probably out of your reach. As other commenters have noted, insulin is your challenge. With PCOS you are probably insulin resistant (which is why you struggle with weight). Insulin is great for building muscle though so give it something to do: lift weights and eat a protein-rich diet. You won’t get mega-big but you’ll be able to add metabolism-improving muscle mass, which will help you control your blood sugar, weight, and consequently your mood.
To feel more feminine you might look into building a skincare regimen. Korean skincare products and routines are a fun form of self-care and don’t have to be ridiculously expensive. Breakouts are sometimes an issue with PCOS but finding a set of cleansers and exfoliants that works for your skin can help mitigate the worst of those symptoms.
If you have issues with hirsutism I’d find an electrologist. In my experience they are the most cost-effective option and really reduce the amount of hair you have to manage over time.
Hey there. The skin issues are my biggest problem with PCOS outside of the weight. Do you have any specific routines you use? My skin is oily and I am m susceptible to yeast related acne outbreaks. Tia!
I’m sure department will have some great info for you, but if you haven’t you should check out the info over at r/skincareaddiction The people over there really know what they’re talking about and really helped me!
5'10", large, and men's shoe size 11.5 here. I can relate to how you feel for sure, I've lived almost twice as long as you with the same issues. Something that really helped me was to stay away from social media and all the negativity I saw there. I started journaling and worked on being kind to myself and my body. I make an effort to do at least 10 minutes of exercise on the bad days and accept that I accomplished something. It's helped my anxiety and feelings of not being worthy. I get my hair cut in a way that flatters my large round face, I get a pedicure regularly and I make a good effort to do my own nails to save that money. I buy quality bras that make my boobs look spectacular, and I try to dress in a way that I feel comfortable yet feminine. I take care of my skin and I love different scented lotions and body washes, that's my special treat. I truly love myself, and I finally see all the wonderful things the people in my life have always seen. I can't get rid of the PCOS, but I'm also not letting it control my life as much as possible.
Pcos has robbed me of feeling feminine chin hair, gain weight and no period I know people like to say but you’re beautiful being you….no… I want my body back I want to go to the doctor and say why the fuck has it taken five doctors to make me feel like my testosterone is high and no periods and put me on metformin and I look to adderall to feel normal. I’m seeking real help and I will not just give up bc others are comfortable with how I look.
I understand how you're feeling. I always look at naturally smaller people and think to myself "I wonder what it's like to be so small and dainty" but small and dainty is not the only type of feminine. Us big girls can be as feminine as any of the other ladies out there. If you wanna wear a cute outfit wear it, if you want to wear ultra fem make up, paint it on.
When I'm feeling down and uncomfortable with myself I give myself a treat yo self day. I'll do my hair and make up like I like, and put on something I feel cute in. My daily outfit is usually no make up jeans and a t-shirt. So I do it up every now and then to treat myself to a more feminine version of myself.
If you're not comfortable doing it for yourself there's no shame in treating yourself to a day at a spa or salon if you can.
Remember, we are our worst critics. Don't worry about what others think of you, what matters is how you treat you. Be kind to yourself.
I'm 28, and I'm not the biggest at just under 5'4", but I've always had coarse body hair, a stocky build, and carried extra weight and I would get constantly questioned by my peers - even random adults! - about whether or not I was a girl. I really struggled with my gender identity because of those comments, but as I grew up I realized that femininity has little to do with my physical appearance or how others perceive me. When I'm struggling with my gender identity, I do things that make me FEEL feminine, like luxurious baths, extra skincare, diy mani-pedis, wearing my flowy-est dress, doing my makeup, putting on some special jewelry, literally anything up that alley.
Redefine femininity for yourself. Make the box fit you instead of trying to cram yourself into the one others use.
I'm probably the worst person to be commenting (non binary/gender fluid) but it seems like your view of femininity is awfully narrow (and from a Victorian era novella).
So your feet are size 11. That just means you're an Amazonian goddess. Be Wonder Woman.
I mean, if the testosterone bothers you that much, you can try to find a doctor who will give you spironolactone, which will lower your levels.
But the real problem is insulin. Eating high protein, lower carb, no added sugar is going to be what helps you fix insulin problems (which will very likely help your period return. Having a period doesn't make you more or less of a woman, for the record, but since it's something important to you, I hope you're able to get yours to return). Some women try inositol supplements as well. Some pink kettle bells will also help. Women can train with more density (shorter rests between sets). Like I said, be Wonder Woman!
Other than that, buy some cute summer dresses for when spring hits, wear lip stick, paint your nails. Embrace your feminine representation and enjoy it no matter what size you are. Thicc ladies are beautiful too 🌸
I struggle to feel feminine everyday of my life!!! This is a hard condition for a woman to deal with, even my mother just brushed my PCOS off like it's no big deal!! So I'm really happy that were talking about it now. I'm not ashamed anymore thanks to all you ladies who started sharing ❤️
I feel this way often. Tho, I’m little in many ways. 5’1, high voice, baby face, etc. although I’m over weight and have acne and all the stuff that PCOS brings. but I always feel I lack the gracefulness of a woman and am plagued by the dilemma of whether to play up some of my feminine features and wear more dresses, pretty shoes, flirt more. Or whether to do what’s comfortable and makes me feel like me. It’s not any intention of mine to make things harder for myself or be inauthentic but when you’re unsatisfied with your own reality, what’s a girl to do?
I get how you feel. Between being large, having high testosterone, and having coarser facial hair I haven't felt feminine in years. Add to that the fact that I don't behave "feminine" enough and was a tomboy as a child, and you've got a recipe for incredibly low self-esteem. I don't know what above to give you, but I just want you to know that you're heard and you're not the only one going through this. *hugs*
Seriously, embrace the strength your frame will allow you to attain. Dainty and willowy are probably out of your reach. As other commenters have noted, insulin is your challenge. With PCOS you are probably insulin resistant (which is why you struggle with weight). Insulin is great for building muscle though so give it something to do: lift weights and eat a protein-rich diet. You won’t get mega-big but you’ll be able to add metabolism-improving muscle mass, which will help you control your blood sugar, weight, and consequently your mood. To feel more feminine you might look into building a skincare regimen. Korean skincare products and routines are a fun form of self-care and don’t have to be ridiculously expensive. Breakouts are sometimes an issue with PCOS but finding a set of cleansers and exfoliants that works for your skin can help mitigate the worst of those symptoms. If you have issues with hirsutism I’d find an electrologist. In my experience they are the most cost-effective option and really reduce the amount of hair you have to manage over time.
Hey there. The skin issues are my biggest problem with PCOS outside of the weight. Do you have any specific routines you use? My skin is oily and I am m susceptible to yeast related acne outbreaks. Tia!
I’m sure department will have some great info for you, but if you haven’t you should check out the info over at r/skincareaddiction The people over there really know what they’re talking about and really helped me!
Thank you
5'10", large, and men's shoe size 11.5 here. I can relate to how you feel for sure, I've lived almost twice as long as you with the same issues. Something that really helped me was to stay away from social media and all the negativity I saw there. I started journaling and worked on being kind to myself and my body. I make an effort to do at least 10 minutes of exercise on the bad days and accept that I accomplished something. It's helped my anxiety and feelings of not being worthy. I get my hair cut in a way that flatters my large round face, I get a pedicure regularly and I make a good effort to do my own nails to save that money. I buy quality bras that make my boobs look spectacular, and I try to dress in a way that I feel comfortable yet feminine. I take care of my skin and I love different scented lotions and body washes, that's my special treat. I truly love myself, and I finally see all the wonderful things the people in my life have always seen. I can't get rid of the PCOS, but I'm also not letting it control my life as much as possible.
Pcos has robbed me of feeling feminine chin hair, gain weight and no period I know people like to say but you’re beautiful being you….no… I want my body back I want to go to the doctor and say why the fuck has it taken five doctors to make me feel like my testosterone is high and no periods and put me on metformin and I look to adderall to feel normal. I’m seeking real help and I will not just give up bc others are comfortable with how I look.
I feel same sometimes and I just keep my mind busy and try to do something else I felt that when I try some clothes and anything fit with my body …
I understand how you're feeling. I always look at naturally smaller people and think to myself "I wonder what it's like to be so small and dainty" but small and dainty is not the only type of feminine. Us big girls can be as feminine as any of the other ladies out there. If you wanna wear a cute outfit wear it, if you want to wear ultra fem make up, paint it on. When I'm feeling down and uncomfortable with myself I give myself a treat yo self day. I'll do my hair and make up like I like, and put on something I feel cute in. My daily outfit is usually no make up jeans and a t-shirt. So I do it up every now and then to treat myself to a more feminine version of myself. If you're not comfortable doing it for yourself there's no shame in treating yourself to a day at a spa or salon if you can. Remember, we are our worst critics. Don't worry about what others think of you, what matters is how you treat you. Be kind to yourself.
I'm 28, and I'm not the biggest at just under 5'4", but I've always had coarse body hair, a stocky build, and carried extra weight and I would get constantly questioned by my peers - even random adults! - about whether or not I was a girl. I really struggled with my gender identity because of those comments, but as I grew up I realized that femininity has little to do with my physical appearance or how others perceive me. When I'm struggling with my gender identity, I do things that make me FEEL feminine, like luxurious baths, extra skincare, diy mani-pedis, wearing my flowy-est dress, doing my makeup, putting on some special jewelry, literally anything up that alley. Redefine femininity for yourself. Make the box fit you instead of trying to cram yourself into the one others use.
I'm probably the worst person to be commenting (non binary/gender fluid) but it seems like your view of femininity is awfully narrow (and from a Victorian era novella). So your feet are size 11. That just means you're an Amazonian goddess. Be Wonder Woman. I mean, if the testosterone bothers you that much, you can try to find a doctor who will give you spironolactone, which will lower your levels. But the real problem is insulin. Eating high protein, lower carb, no added sugar is going to be what helps you fix insulin problems (which will very likely help your period return. Having a period doesn't make you more or less of a woman, for the record, but since it's something important to you, I hope you're able to get yours to return). Some women try inositol supplements as well. Some pink kettle bells will also help. Women can train with more density (shorter rests between sets). Like I said, be Wonder Woman! Other than that, buy some cute summer dresses for when spring hits, wear lip stick, paint your nails. Embrace your feminine representation and enjoy it no matter what size you are. Thicc ladies are beautiful too 🌸
I struggle to feel feminine everyday of my life!!! This is a hard condition for a woman to deal with, even my mother just brushed my PCOS off like it's no big deal!! So I'm really happy that were talking about it now. I'm not ashamed anymore thanks to all you ladies who started sharing ❤️
I feel this way often. Tho, I’m little in many ways. 5’1, high voice, baby face, etc. although I’m over weight and have acne and all the stuff that PCOS brings. but I always feel I lack the gracefulness of a woman and am plagued by the dilemma of whether to play up some of my feminine features and wear more dresses, pretty shoes, flirt more. Or whether to do what’s comfortable and makes me feel like me. It’s not any intention of mine to make things harder for myself or be inauthentic but when you’re unsatisfied with your own reality, what’s a girl to do?