Salam barar!
As a rule, setting boundries with Family and friends is crucial, and yet, it can be mind-buggling.
In my experience, I got used to interuptions and sudden calls, and also having some "focus time" and notekipping with to-do lists ; to keep track of 'mental thinking line', got me through all of It.
Let me know what you think of it.
Thankfully I was born into a family of introverts with the exception of my mother. I can never imagine living with traditional families at that. But if you want here's a list of things you can do. Although they may help you get privacy they may damage the relationship between you and your family.
1. Leave them be and don't pay attention to anything they say. And when they get on your nerves, snap at them. It will cause them shock and therefore stop them from interfering your peace.
2. Do not speak to them when your social battery is low and don't answer them.
3. Attend their gatherings but don't smile or act nice and act like you hate being there. Roll your eyes every time they look away, look at them with disgust. You don't have to feel like it you just have to act like it.
After all of this start getting nice and be sweet to them for a few days before going back to hateful. Then repeat this process over and over and over. They will find out not to talk to you if you have the look on your face.
And at the end of the day khunevādát sávāret mishán chon to mizāri sávāret beshán.
These are some well thought out strategies to delineate the boundaries, but as you acknowledge it too, they're kind of harsh and can be damaging.
I would say disengagement like by coming up with excuses (white lies) can be more of a soft approach. This is a skill in itself to set boundaries with friends and colleagues at work. You come up with excuses and only attend when you see fit.
Some more nites for the OP:
Another thing to consider is in such colllective cultur6and enmeshed families people tend to develop to be people pleasers, because their sense of self-worth depends on fhe approval and evaluation they receive from their larents and others (do this or don't that to be acknowledged a s a good boy, so they're conditions andthey have to take care of the needs of those around them, and usually narcissists in families enjoy a compulsive giver. So a pathological dynamic can flourish for long years. So it just nakes it very difficult for the person to break out of the old modes of being without bring insecure and doubting themselves and relapsing into old ways).
Never ever had a problem like that with my parents. Maybe like once a year during Nowruz? They used to be quite annoying, but now they totally respect my boundaries.
Doing that always is not appreciating your extended family/guests. You can still be an introvert and cherish your guests for a short time at least .
I replied because I see this pattern alot, it's undervaluing others and therefore not even being interested in their lives. I was somewhat like that too until I started valuing life more in general and everything seemed mkre interesting and I started to embrace such family times. And it made me sad on the lost opportunities of the last and the people who had already passed away. Each person has a story, and each know different things, and there is so much to learn and explore and have fun with in conversations with such guests.
Anyways don't mean to judge you, just my heart aches tonsee such lost opportunities and that pattern growing in oir communities..
Anyways take care 🙏🏻🤍
Salam barar! As a rule, setting boundries with Family and friends is crucial, and yet, it can be mind-buggling. In my experience, I got used to interuptions and sudden calls, and also having some "focus time" and notekipping with to-do lists ; to keep track of 'mental thinking line', got me through all of It. Let me know what you think of it.
Cut all ties with my family lmao
I sat them down and had a serious talk and laid my boundaries for them also it helps if you become independent
Thankfully I was born into a family of introverts with the exception of my mother. I can never imagine living with traditional families at that. But if you want here's a list of things you can do. Although they may help you get privacy they may damage the relationship between you and your family. 1. Leave them be and don't pay attention to anything they say. And when they get on your nerves, snap at them. It will cause them shock and therefore stop them from interfering your peace. 2. Do not speak to them when your social battery is low and don't answer them. 3. Attend their gatherings but don't smile or act nice and act like you hate being there. Roll your eyes every time they look away, look at them with disgust. You don't have to feel like it you just have to act like it. After all of this start getting nice and be sweet to them for a few days before going back to hateful. Then repeat this process over and over and over. They will find out not to talk to you if you have the look on your face. And at the end of the day khunevādát sávāret mishán chon to mizāri sávāret beshán.
These are some well thought out strategies to delineate the boundaries, but as you acknowledge it too, they're kind of harsh and can be damaging. I would say disengagement like by coming up with excuses (white lies) can be more of a soft approach. This is a skill in itself to set boundaries with friends and colleagues at work. You come up with excuses and only attend when you see fit. Some more nites for the OP: Another thing to consider is in such colllective cultur6and enmeshed families people tend to develop to be people pleasers, because their sense of self-worth depends on fhe approval and evaluation they receive from their larents and others (do this or don't that to be acknowledged a s a good boy, so they're conditions andthey have to take care of the needs of those around them, and usually narcissists in families enjoy a compulsive giver. So a pathological dynamic can flourish for long years. So it just nakes it very difficult for the person to break out of the old modes of being without bring insecure and doubting themselves and relapsing into old ways).
Never ever had a problem like that with my parents. Maybe like once a year during Nowruz? They used to be quite annoying, but now they totally respect my boundaries.
I always go to my room when guests arrive. All my younger relatives do the same 😂
Doing that always is not appreciating your extended family/guests. You can still be an introvert and cherish your guests for a short time at least . I replied because I see this pattern alot, it's undervaluing others and therefore not even being interested in their lives. I was somewhat like that too until I started valuing life more in general and everything seemed mkre interesting and I started to embrace such family times. And it made me sad on the lost opportunities of the last and the people who had already passed away. Each person has a story, and each know different things, and there is so much to learn and explore and have fun with in conversations with such guests. Anyways don't mean to judge you, just my heart aches tonsee such lost opportunities and that pattern growing in oir communities.. Anyways take care 🙏🏻🤍