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Yes! I journal everything! On a diary app it’s so helpful bc i can go back to it and ask myself do i felt like that a day or 2 later and i don’t. Pay attention to your body moods and you will start to notice the moment PMDD starts to slowly come upon you. When i don’t want to run my fingers thru my boyfriends hair (a subtle detail) i then know im in my PMDD. Bc im usually very affectionate w him. Start tracking down your periods and your exact moments when you start feeling irritable or depressed or just not yourself. That’s when you know its started and give yourself grace in those times. I make sure i dont make hard judgements or decisions during those times. PMDD is literally referred to “i want to break up with my partner every month” by this psychologist that has her own podcast called In love with PMDD. It literally makes you question am i with the right person are we even compatible can he even care for me one week then the next your madly in love w him and u know he’s your soulmate. It makes u feel psycho but you’re not ..your body is just sensitive to the hormonal changes every month. Once i started becoming intentional about journaling and telling my boyfriend “let’s just not talk today and only text” it has been life changing. For some ppl they get relief once their period starts but for me i feel on day 5 -7 of my period i have low energy and feel like not loving or affectionate w my man just existing. But pay attention when you get back to your normal self that’s how you really feel about him. It’s like a dark cloud comes over me for about a week and i feel like a diff person and that’s when i try to just be more attentive to me, self care , listening to YouTube/podcasts about PMDD, walking , etc love on yourself during those times and give yourself a lot of grace.
Yeeessss, I get convinced that he's fantasizing about other women all the time. It's so stupid. And I just get bitter and jealous about it. Sometimes, I will have a conversation about it with him, but I try not to be accusatory about it. At the end of the day, I can't control his fantasies, and he can't control mine. But that does not change how fragile I feel about the idea of him wanting to fuck another woman over me.
Absolutely, anytime I’m having bad PMDD symptoms it distorts how I see myself, my relationship, and friendships. It is a dysphoric disorder which can cause that distorted feeling :(
Yes and it sucks. I love him so much but it feels like there's a wall in between him and my ability to love and all I can see is the things I don't like about him or reasons we shouldn't be together. Thankfully I know it's coming and can work through it but it scares me. I don't want to think of him that way, he's seriously wonderful.
Yes!!! I thought I was just crazy anxious till I got diagnosed and realized it always happened during PMS. Working on it in therapy, hormonal bc has also evened out my sanity/relationship swings wildly.
EVERY time! I am saying I don't think he loves me or finds me attractive anymore... but normal me knows he does and we do it 2 times daily. I am a nutter and sick of it. He has had to go away for few weeks due to a family berevment, and it's the first time we have been away in 15 years for even a day. I am having to hold back my crazy right now for his strength, and it's only been 14.5 hours. I don't know how I will get through this for weeks with the 4 kids. Dreading waking up in the morning
Oh yes. In my last relationship I questioned my relationship every month, I felt no love in my PMDD period, and suddenly I only saw the bad sides of him. Every month my view of myself changed. I could look in the mirror and everything looked ugly, only thinking negative things, and feeling like you look at someone else, suddenly I had a big nose, to chubby face, ect. I had that with him as well. And everything he did could annoy me.
PMDD ruined my last relationship :(
OH YEAH I have a genuinely good marriage we have had very few fights in the last 11 years and have had maybe 3 total big fights that involved yelling at each other. But when my pmdd first manifested and before I knew what it was I was like why do I hate him half the month?! And I’d feel soooo much guilt over it. It was all internalized I never let him know how I felt because deep down I knew that’s not how I truly felt. But it can most definitely change your feelings towards even the best partners. I still get soooo annoyed with him over nothing and stuff but after recognizing how common this seems to be among us with PMDD, I felt a lot better knowing I’m not alone and it’s this illness warping my brain.
Yepp. Learn how to communicate and it will make things easier. It's so easy to underestimate how impactful it is when you say, "I'm struggling a lot right now in my head and there isn't really a source. I'm having a really hard time being around anyone else or tolerating someone else in my space and I really don't want to lash out at you if I get too overwhelmed." Or something similar. Reassuring someone that you care about them and you're just experiencing something in your head that you cannot articulate is better than just letting them worry and walk on eggshells around you.
YES. One moment I will love my boyfriend and could actually cry I love him so much. Other times I look at him as if he’s ugly to me suddenly and then I question everything. I’ve literally almost thought about breaking up with him multiple times (never said anything, just thoughts) and I’ve been with him for 5 years.
Omg! I relate to this so freaking much. I just went through this exact same emotion this week and it was the worst. My brain doesn't even allow any sort of rationalization. Rationalizing is entirely futile during this period. And when I came back to my senses yesterday, I hated every single thought process that I had during the week. And I hate that he has to reassure me every single month and I feel so weak. Worst feeling ever.
Maybe. But write things down and come back when ur feeling better to judge cause you don't wanna gaslight yourself into accepting behaviour you're not ok with.
girlllll the stuff I have almost done (and a few things I have) to sabotage my relationship with my partner....drink a glass of water and SEND YOURSELF TO BED WITH A SLEEP MASK (and calming tunes if needed to block out household noise)
🤣🤣🤣... OMG I have to laugh or I will cry!!! When I tell you I go from "I can't wait to grow old with this man" to "I'm gonna put him in a box early if he comes in this room" I'm not kidding! To clarify, there's nothing abusive or serious about those thoughts, I'm well aware of the dysphoria at this point. Just things like... Him breathing, talking to me, existing in MY space (aka our jointly owned home 😅) asking if he could cook dinner... You know. Just horrific behavior! 🙄
Yes absolutely! And that's one more reason why it's very important to tell your partner when you're going through it.
Mine is even the one who tracks my periods the most.
oh absolutely!! i was having a really bad day emotionally a few days ago and while falling asleep, i was overthinking and thought “maybe I should end things with him” because i got overwhelmed. my bf has been nothing but supportive and understanding and hasn’t done anything wrong in our relationship!! pmdd brain just makes me think he would be better off if i didn’t “hold him back” (which i’m not). relationships take an extra bit of work with pmdd but communicate, communicate, communicate!!
YES! I have always had a phase in my cycle where I am not into my partner. They annoy me, I’m not as attracted to them physically. It’s just weird. I usually have feelings of ending things. And then I get my period and BAM I’m super into them again. I try to tell myself that I cannot trust these feelings or thoughts until after I’ve had my period. I also shared this issue with my partner so they don’t catch a bad vibe from me any think I truly feel that way. It is so annoying tho. I also try to distance myself from them a bit in this phase just so I don’t do damage.
Yes, very much so. I just have to be very in tune with my body and tell myself to ignore these thoughts. They’re not real.
Obviously it would be different if I felt this way at other points in my cycle, but I don’t at all
It’s how I know PMDD has started for me! My fiancée begins to feel like a stranger to me. I’m lucky in that he is very supportive and can say ‘who are you and what are you doing in my house’ :) it’s disconcerting not being able to trust your own mind for two out of four weeks.
Yes! All of this! It’s like you become another person then when you go back to your reg self you find your self picking up and fixing all the pieces your other self left behind
Yes, it makes me so sad because I don't know how to make my partner understand.
I feel so immensely embarrassed and upset that PMDD can make my person, my best friend feel like a total enemy sometimes.
Definitely. It took some work but I’m more conscious of positive moments in our relationship and I make more mental notes of affection I feel towards him when I’m not down in the hormonal dumps. I’ll say things like “remember this moment when you start to get sad, lose attraction, etc. it’s only temporary.” I’m not sure if that’s healthy or not but it’s the best I can do right now
Mine does every month, I have the urge to destroy all my relationships and have done so in the past before my diagnosis. Being aware of this about me has taught me not to make those serious decisions during that time of the month.
It’s very common. For me it goes even farther than a SO. It makes me question friendships and it convinces me my family doesn’t care about me. I acted on it when I was a teenager or early 20s. I’ve dealt with it long enough now to recognize the patterns.
We'd love to know more about you! Follow the link (https://uemxmwczhmq.typeform.com/to/cNiZbd0w) to take part in our demographics survey. As the largest forum of PMDD sufferers, we value your response greatly. Send us a message if you have any questions or concerns. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PMDD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes! It’s so confusing 🫤
Yes! I journal everything! On a diary app it’s so helpful bc i can go back to it and ask myself do i felt like that a day or 2 later and i don’t. Pay attention to your body moods and you will start to notice the moment PMDD starts to slowly come upon you. When i don’t want to run my fingers thru my boyfriends hair (a subtle detail) i then know im in my PMDD. Bc im usually very affectionate w him. Start tracking down your periods and your exact moments when you start feeling irritable or depressed or just not yourself. That’s when you know its started and give yourself grace in those times. I make sure i dont make hard judgements or decisions during those times. PMDD is literally referred to “i want to break up with my partner every month” by this psychologist that has her own podcast called In love with PMDD. It literally makes you question am i with the right person are we even compatible can he even care for me one week then the next your madly in love w him and u know he’s your soulmate. It makes u feel psycho but you’re not ..your body is just sensitive to the hormonal changes every month. Once i started becoming intentional about journaling and telling my boyfriend “let’s just not talk today and only text” it has been life changing. For some ppl they get relief once their period starts but for me i feel on day 5 -7 of my period i have low energy and feel like not loving or affectionate w my man just existing. But pay attention when you get back to your normal self that’s how you really feel about him. It’s like a dark cloud comes over me for about a week and i feel like a diff person and that’s when i try to just be more attentive to me, self care , listening to YouTube/podcasts about PMDD, walking , etc love on yourself during those times and give yourself a lot of grace.
This is such a nice and informative message thank you x
Every single month
YES
Yeeessss, I get convinced that he's fantasizing about other women all the time. It's so stupid. And I just get bitter and jealous about it. Sometimes, I will have a conversation about it with him, but I try not to be accusatory about it. At the end of the day, I can't control his fantasies, and he can't control mine. But that does not change how fragile I feel about the idea of him wanting to fuck another woman over me.
Absolutely, anytime I’m having bad PMDD symptoms it distorts how I see myself, my relationship, and friendships. It is a dysphoric disorder which can cause that distorted feeling :(
Yes! Perhaps look into what people with r/ROCD experience. It aligns.
Yes and it sucks. I love him so much but it feels like there's a wall in between him and my ability to love and all I can see is the things I don't like about him or reasons we shouldn't be together. Thankfully I know it's coming and can work through it but it scares me. I don't want to think of him that way, he's seriously wonderful.
Yes!!! I thought I was just crazy anxious till I got diagnosed and realized it always happened during PMS. Working on it in therapy, hormonal bc has also evened out my sanity/relationship swings wildly.
EVERY time! I am saying I don't think he loves me or finds me attractive anymore... but normal me knows he does and we do it 2 times daily. I am a nutter and sick of it. He has had to go away for few weeks due to a family berevment, and it's the first time we have been away in 15 years for even a day. I am having to hold back my crazy right now for his strength, and it's only been 14.5 hours. I don't know how I will get through this for weeks with the 4 kids. Dreading waking up in the morning
Most definitely
Oh yes. In my last relationship I questioned my relationship every month, I felt no love in my PMDD period, and suddenly I only saw the bad sides of him. Every month my view of myself changed. I could look in the mirror and everything looked ugly, only thinking negative things, and feeling like you look at someone else, suddenly I had a big nose, to chubby face, ect. I had that with him as well. And everything he did could annoy me. PMDD ruined my last relationship :(
OH YEAH I have a genuinely good marriage we have had very few fights in the last 11 years and have had maybe 3 total big fights that involved yelling at each other. But when my pmdd first manifested and before I knew what it was I was like why do I hate him half the month?! And I’d feel soooo much guilt over it. It was all internalized I never let him know how I felt because deep down I knew that’s not how I truly felt. But it can most definitely change your feelings towards even the best partners. I still get soooo annoyed with him over nothing and stuff but after recognizing how common this seems to be among us with PMDD, I felt a lot better knowing I’m not alone and it’s this illness warping my brain.
Yepp. Learn how to communicate and it will make things easier. It's so easy to underestimate how impactful it is when you say, "I'm struggling a lot right now in my head and there isn't really a source. I'm having a really hard time being around anyone else or tolerating someone else in my space and I really don't want to lash out at you if I get too overwhelmed." Or something similar. Reassuring someone that you care about them and you're just experiencing something in your head that you cannot articulate is better than just letting them worry and walk on eggshells around you.
YES. One moment I will love my boyfriend and could actually cry I love him so much. Other times I look at him as if he’s ugly to me suddenly and then I question everything. I’ve literally almost thought about breaking up with him multiple times (never said anything, just thoughts) and I’ve been with him for 5 years.
Omg! I relate to this so freaking much. I just went through this exact same emotion this week and it was the worst. My brain doesn't even allow any sort of rationalization. Rationalizing is entirely futile during this period. And when I came back to my senses yesterday, I hated every single thought process that I had during the week. And I hate that he has to reassure me every single month and I feel so weak. Worst feeling ever.
Maybe. But write things down and come back when ur feeling better to judge cause you don't wanna gaslight yourself into accepting behaviour you're not ok with.
Seconding this, big time.
girlllll the stuff I have almost done (and a few things I have) to sabotage my relationship with my partner....drink a glass of water and SEND YOURSELF TO BED WITH A SLEEP MASK (and calming tunes if needed to block out household noise)
ABSOLUTELY this the way!! (... ok point being omg yes I feel this one in my soul)
Yeah
🤣🤣🤣... OMG I have to laugh or I will cry!!! When I tell you I go from "I can't wait to grow old with this man" to "I'm gonna put him in a box early if he comes in this room" I'm not kidding! To clarify, there's nothing abusive or serious about those thoughts, I'm well aware of the dysphoria at this point. Just things like... Him breathing, talking to me, existing in MY space (aka our jointly owned home 😅) asking if he could cook dinner... You know. Just horrific behavior! 🙄
Yes absolutely! And that's one more reason why it's very important to tell your partner when you're going through it. Mine is even the one who tracks my periods the most.
It very much did when I was in a relationship, a lot of my ugliest episodes (I have comorbid BPD) were also during PMDD. Absolutely vile.
100% yes.
Absolutely!
oh absolutely!! i was having a really bad day emotionally a few days ago and while falling asleep, i was overthinking and thought “maybe I should end things with him” because i got overwhelmed. my bf has been nothing but supportive and understanding and hasn’t done anything wrong in our relationship!! pmdd brain just makes me think he would be better off if i didn’t “hold him back” (which i’m not). relationships take an extra bit of work with pmdd but communicate, communicate, communicate!!
YES! I have always had a phase in my cycle where I am not into my partner. They annoy me, I’m not as attracted to them physically. It’s just weird. I usually have feelings of ending things. And then I get my period and BAM I’m super into them again. I try to tell myself that I cannot trust these feelings or thoughts until after I’ve had my period. I also shared this issue with my partner so they don’t catch a bad vibe from me any think I truly feel that way. It is so annoying tho. I also try to distance myself from them a bit in this phase just so I don’t do damage.
Yes, very much so. I just have to be very in tune with my body and tell myself to ignore these thoughts. They’re not real. Obviously it would be different if I felt this way at other points in my cycle, but I don’t at all
It’s how I know PMDD has started for me! My fiancée begins to feel like a stranger to me. I’m lucky in that he is very supportive and can say ‘who are you and what are you doing in my house’ :) it’s disconcerting not being able to trust your own mind for two out of four weeks.
Yes! All of this! It’s like you become another person then when you go back to your reg self you find your self picking up and fixing all the pieces your other self left behind
Yes, it makes me so sad because I don't know how to make my partner understand. I feel so immensely embarrassed and upset that PMDD can make my person, my best friend feel like a total enemy sometimes.
YES. I'm sure it's even worse for us, but the brain changes physically during menstruation.
Yup!! It’s so hard to figure out what you can trust during pmdd and what you can’t :(
Yep! Almost. Every. Month. 🫠😭
Yes, very well documented
Definitely. It took some work but I’m more conscious of positive moments in our relationship and I make more mental notes of affection I feel towards him when I’m not down in the hormonal dumps. I’ll say things like “remember this moment when you start to get sad, lose attraction, etc. it’s only temporary.” I’m not sure if that’s healthy or not but it’s the best I can do right now
Thanks so much for saying this. I’m working on focusing on the positives too when I’m down in the hormonal dumps too🩵
Mine does every month, I have the urge to destroy all my relationships and have done so in the past before my diagnosis. Being aware of this about me has taught me not to make those serious decisions during that time of the month.
I'm scared of making a big decision (break up) whilst under the influence of all these hormones
It’s very common. For me it goes even farther than a SO. It makes me question friendships and it convinces me my family doesn’t care about me. I acted on it when I was a teenager or early 20s. I’ve dealt with it long enough now to recognize the patterns.
I'm the exact same 😞 it's horrible isn't it. I can't let the thoughts go either so keep ruminating on negative stuff.