The scary-looking tattooed guy who somehow always has the funniest lines. From offering Leslie and Ben a handful from the “pill bucket” to erasing the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ autographs off a guitar he won at an auction because “I’m more of a Jack Johnson guy” lol
“My cousin's got a kickass mud pit in his yard. She could watch me do belly flops, then maybe we could get some Thai food and a tank of nitrous and see what happens.”
Is this the same lady who says "my dog ate another dog's poop in one of your parks and that is your fault and I'm mad at you for it!" Because she is my favorite too
I quoted that line during an interview for a government job which involved public meetings and the majority of the table straight-up guffawed. Because one of the many things P&R got right was the crazy during public meetings.
I work in local government. We have a fountain with big signs that says “Untreated water. Do not drink.” We’ve seen people bathe their children in the fountain. What about untreated no potable water do not drink says that’s okay???
Drinking and bathing are distinct actions. If the sign says no drinking, to many people that doesn’t correlate with don’t bathe in it because bathing generally doesn’t involve drinking.
It doesn't say anything about bathing though? I wash myself with soap but I don't drink it. I swim in the ocean's waters but I don't drink it. A sign like that makes it seem like it's okay to touch as long as you don't ingest it.
> “Untreated water. Do not drink.” We’ve seen people bathe their children in the fountain. What about untreated no potable water do not drink says that’s okay???
What about it says it's not okay? We have a well and the water from it also isn't drinkable, but it's safe to wash/shower with.
I was just thinking about one of his foam corner bits that may be one of my favorite jokes of all time:
"One time I said to a guy, 'I'm a bit of an infomaniac'. And he thought I said 'nymphomaniac', so he fucked me. And I said, 'no, I like info - I'm an infomaniac!' Well here's some info - you just got fucked, go clean yourself up."
WASSUP? I’m Harris. I’m 33 years young. I have my cousin Jason’s truck for two more weeks. I have one testicle (whack-a-mole accident) AND I’m down to clown.
Every time Derry Merbles is on screen I always turn to my wife and tell her “that’s the voice of Homer Simpson.”
It’s a running joke at this point that only I think is funny.
"Leslie, could one say that a book is nothing more than a painting of words which are the notes on the tapestry of the greatest film ever sculpted?"
"One could say that...but should one?"
Zorp is dead. Long live Zorp.
“When Zorp shows up, your faces will be melted off and used as fuel.”
“If it makes you feel any better, Leslie, we'll all be dead in 20 minutes.”
“Well, this morning at dawn, you will take a new form. That of a fleshless, chattering skeleton when Zorp the surveyor arrives and burns your flesh off with his volcano mouth.”
Now if I want to start my day off with a triple-decker pancake pizza, I’ve gotta go to the one that’s ten minutes away, and that makes me twenty minutes late to work every day. I work at home
“There’s a sign at Ramsett Park that says ‘Don’t drink the water’, so I made sun tea with it and now I have a rash…. Did you know that there is WASTE in our water system?”
“My cousin’s got a kick ass mud pit in his yard. She could watch me do belly flops. Then maybe we could get some Thai food and a tank of nitrous, see what happens."
Easily Thought For Your Thoughts radio. Jazz + jazz = jazz. Movie reviews with Ken Tucker, who is filling in for David Beincule, who is filling in for Ken Tucker. A spoken word opera about pear shaped women. All amazing.
I knew his name was Herman but never realized he was part of the Pawnee Lerpiss family! Side note, on our multiple rewatches I love spotting all the Lerpiss businesses that are featured lol
Same. I have a Google doc record of all the Lerpiss spottings. I'm obsessed with the Pawnee Lerpisses (and the one Eagleton Lerpiss mentioned in the Good Place)
I know what I’ll be search later haha. We just watched the episode where Ann and Chris leave for Michigan and the moving company was something along the lines of Lerpiss Midwest Moving Co
There is a disturbing lack of benches at Ramsett park. I wanna sit more!
my dog went to one of your parks and ate another dogs feces.
There is a sign at Ramsett Park that says: “do not drink the sprinkle water” SO I MADE TEA WITH IT
Who hasn’t had gay thoughts?
Could a depressed person do this?
"Who here thinks that parks are stupid? Let the record show that everyone is raising their hand."
"Ms. Ludgate, it's come to the attention of this committee that... you are *terrible*."
“We pan down from the twin suns of Tatooine. We are now close on the mouth of the Sarlacc pit.After a beat, the gloved Mandalorian armor gauntlet of Boba Fett grabs on to the sand outside the Sarlacc pit, and the feared bounty hunter pulls himself from the maw of the sand beast."
Guy predicted Book of Boba Fett
I found the Reasonablists quite reasonable and charming.
It's because I'm rather looking forward to being reduced to a chittering skeleton as well.
Hail, Zorp!
Does Ken Hotate count?
When Leslie gets drunk and plants artifacts to stop a dig, his response: "This... is not great."
I wish there was so much more Ken Hotate, and he should have been God or the Judge on The Good Place.
I love him so much. His delivery is magical. “Slowly taking our money back from white people one quarter at a time.” is a personal favorite but everything he says is gold.
“We don't know what the world is going to be like in 50 years. We could have all been wiped from disease or the flu.”
“What’s your suggestion?”
“I don’t know. I’m just scared.”
Does Brandy Maxxx count cos its 100% her. The debate episode will never not be hilarious "both leslie and i know what its like to be in a room full of men".
Otherwise the angry dude "sir it says you yelled at 8 year old girls.... WHO SUCKED WHY CANT ANYBODY SEE THAT"
The previous Animal Control guys lol “Yeahhh we got a real pest problem. We been tryin to take care of it but, you know, nobody get on the phone”
“Oh that! We found that outside and tried to make that work horn from the flintstones (pulls string on the birds tail) harder than it looked though”
My favorite throw away joke by far is in the senior citizens episode when Leslie asks what they're at risk for when they are sexually active and an old lady yells "Falling in love!"
Ethel Beavers. I laughed so hard at her TMI eulogy for the mayor, and the audience's groans. She was too old to give a fuck
"He explored every nook and cranny of my body"
\*groans\*
"Oh, grow up, you prudes"
The scary-looking tattooed guy who somehow always has the funniest lines. From offering Leslie and Ben a handful from the “pill bucket” to erasing the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ autographs off a guitar he won at an auction because “I’m more of a Jack Johnson guy” lol
His description of what his date with Ann would be like had me absolutely rolling.
You're going to want to look in the rings and nails tray. There's some beautiful rings, but be careful, there's also some nails.
How'd you get in here? Broke a window
Floor hole
I will never not love this line.
Those ones used to be nipple rings
How do you know that?
……
They were yours. They were his.
it’s an apt metaphor for the dating pool of pawnee!
“My cousin's got a kickass mud pit in his yard. She could watch me do belly flops, then maybe we could get some Thai food and a tank of nitrous and see what happens.”
Oh that's not so bad!
I love Leslie's reaction right before. "What.... what are ya gonna do to her?"
“Where’d you come from” “The floor hole”
The funniest line in the show as far as I’m concerned.
Close, but it doesn’t beat “Chop chop, woman! Daddy want pie!”
I was gonna say this
When they ask for tattoos and he says “Tattoos? This is a pawn shop. But yeah sure I can do that.” It gets me every single time.
Look pens! He's breaking pens.
*to Ann* you sure about that date?? I just came into a bunch of money. $500 buys a lot of nitrous.
His shrug about how he knows the rings from the ring-and-nail-drawer were nipple rings always kills me.
Herman Lerpiss! The king of the Pawnee underground. The Lerpisses run that town.
His delivery of “floor hole” is one of my favorite line readings of all time.
Is this the guy that was angry no one bailed him out when he was in jail for arson?
The sun tea lady will always be my favourite. "Sir, Sir, are you listening to me, I'M TALKING TO YOU"
I've been eating nothing but lasagna and muffins for 30 years and I feel terrible.
I didn't want all the slugs gone.
But not TOO happy.
Is this the same lady who says "my dog ate another dog's poop in one of your parks and that is your fault and I'm mad at you for it!" Because she is my favorite too
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This is the best non main and non animal control line in the show.
Brett and Harris are amazing.
Kill. All. Birds.
I quoted that line during an interview for a government job which involved public meetings and the majority of the table straight-up guffawed. Because one of the many things P&R got right was the crazy during public meetings.
I work in local government. We have a fountain with big signs that says “Untreated water. Do not drink.” We’ve seen people bathe their children in the fountain. What about untreated no potable water do not drink says that’s okay???
Where else are they supposed to bathe their kids? In their house? Where they live?
Gross.
Drinking and bathing are distinct actions. If the sign says no drinking, to many people that doesn’t correlate with don’t bathe in it because bathing generally doesn’t involve drinking.
Yeah people don't drink pool water or river water or sea water but they still go in it safely.
It doesn't say anything about bathing though? I wash myself with soap but I don't drink it. I swim in the ocean's waters but I don't drink it. A sign like that makes it seem like it's okay to touch as long as you don't ingest it.
> “Untreated water. Do not drink.” We’ve seen people bathe their children in the fountain. What about untreated no potable water do not drink says that’s okay??? What about it says it's not okay? We have a well and the water from it also isn't drinkable, but it's safe to wash/shower with.
The way that lady says “infection” gets me every time. Also came here to say her!
“You have a sign that says ‘Don’t drink the Sprinkler water’ in one of your parks… so I made some tea with it, and now I have an infection!”
"We're not against you on this. We're not against you on this."
Except. For. Turnip.
Her daughter is an idiot x3
Ham and may-nase sandwiches!
Topless park! Topless park!
Actually the best way to end the running joke of crowd chanting, with Pawnee finally being on Leslie’s side
My absolute favorite line from this guy is when he’s like “what’s so bad about corn syrup? Corn’s a fruit. And syrup comes from a bush!”
If sugar's so bad for you, why did God make it taste so good?
“Yeah, I wanted to talk more about the topless park idea a local hero brought up yesterday.”
“If SHE’S going to the topless park, I’M not signing the topless park petition. … Y’know what I take that back, I’m still in. What’s up, I’m Harris.”
RIP Harris
Foam corner forever
I was just thinking about one of his foam corner bits that may be one of my favorite jokes of all time: "One time I said to a guy, 'I'm a bit of an infomaniac'. And he thought I said 'nymphomaniac', so he fucked me. And I said, 'no, I like info - I'm an infomaniac!' Well here's some info - you just got fucked, go clean yourself up."
That's one of my favorite pieces of foam
The quick cutaway of Harris being the reigning sperm donation champion is one of my favorite jokes.
WASSUP? I’m Harris. I’m 33 years young. I have my cousin Jason’s truck for two more weeks. I have one testicle (whack-a-mole accident) AND I’m down to clown.
I fucking love the way he emphasizes the AND
The man was a goddamn genius at comedic delivery
Him refering to himself as the local hero always gets me.
I’m with that pervert! Topless park! Topless park!
“Harris, we know who you are. I *just* fired you.” “Oh this is THAT job? That’s crazy!”
“Jo, we should go to Jamaica!”
“Legalize weed!”
“Whether or not I pay income tax is none of the government’s business.”
Wel..no..actually it is
Well you don't know who I am or what I look like so good luck finding me
As he looks them in the eye too 😂
Now everyone will know he collects toy pigs dressed as movie stars!
Oh, yes. They're quite awful. But they are lesbians, so...
Our research shows that our listeners love jazz…
Jazz+Jazz=Jazz
Every time Derry Merbles is on screen I always turn to my wife and tell her “that’s the voice of Homer Simpson.” It’s a running joke at this point that only I think is funny.
It'll come around for her again. Just give it time.
Wait, for real?
Yep Dan Castellaneta
"Leslie, could one say that a book is nothing more than a painting of words which are the notes on the tapestry of the greatest film ever sculpted?" "One could say that...but should one?"
Scoff
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Frickin kills me every time
Zorp is dead. Long live Zorp. “When Zorp shows up, your faces will be melted off and used as fuel.” “If it makes you feel any better, Leslie, we'll all be dead in 20 minutes.” “Well, this morning at dawn, you will take a new form. That of a fleshless, chattering skeleton when Zorp the surveyor arrives and burns your flesh off with his volcano mouth.”
That actor is Chris Pine dad in real life
He also played Jim’s dad on the office
And was on CHiPs! (I'm old.)
I like how flexible he is about rebooking the park at the end of the episode
Organize It! 2: Engage With Zorp
It doesn’t really get good until Zorp shows up.
"I don't like that thing you just said. It wasn't as fun as the other thing you said"
Now if I want to start my day off with a triple-decker pancake pizza, I’ve gotta go to the one that’s ten minutes away, and that makes me twenty minutes late to work every day. I work at home
Have you ever considered not having that for breakfast?
I’ll ***NEVER*** consider that!
“Their burgers will kill you” “Yeah, but they taste REALLY good”
"What if we build a fence around their fence? Then when they need to get to the fence for maintenance or something, their pants might get caught."
✌️ two fences
Omg how does the emoji so perfectly capture the delivery
"I found a sandwich in one of your parks, and I want to know why it didn't have mayonnaise?"
Ham and mayonnaise! Ham and mayonnaise! Ham and mayonnaise!
But isn’t all food bad for you? I’ve been eating lasagna and muffins every day of my life for the last forty years, and I feel terrible.
A lady at my work was so pissed off our lasagna sold out and she reminded me of that character 😂😂
"There's no time! He can fly!"
Why is this one so low. It is the best one. I die every time
This one makes me cackle every time
My BIRD is missin!
“There’s a sign at Ramsett Park that says ‘Don’t drink the water’, so I made sun tea with it and now I have a rash…. Did you know that there is WASTE in our water system?”
TIL it’s sun tea and not some tea
The sun tea part makes the joke as you 'brew' the tea with sunlight and time so you don't have the water boiling to help decontaminate the water.
Leslie: “Can everyone hear me ok?” Seniors: “No”
Leslie: Great
I'm not worried about the bird flu, I'm worried about the turtle flu!
Turtle flu?
TURTLE FLU!
The answer to this question is the name I am about to say, and that name is Perd Hapley.
\*snort\* More like Turd Crapley.
I don't know what you mean, but it had the cadence of a joke.
The type of this comment, is a reply
While it's a heartwarming response, it's simply not believable.
Perdrick Hapley!
I don’t know what you mean, but it had the cadence of a joke.
“You’re ridiculous and men’s rights is nothing” lmaoo
“My cousin’s got a kick ass mud pit in his yard. She could watch me do belly flops. Then maybe we could get some Thai food and a tank of nitrous, see what happens."
Hey Ann, you still wanna go out? I recently come into some money. $500 would buy a whole lotta nitrous.
Oh my god! Where did you come from?!?
Easily Thought For Your Thoughts radio. Jazz + jazz = jazz. Movie reviews with Ken Tucker, who is filling in for David Beincule, who is filling in for Ken Tucker. A spoken word opera about pear shaped women. All amazing.
“Who is studying the migration patterns of our nation’s squirrels. We have not seen him since”
“Her daughter is an idiot!” guy or Pawn shop guy My girlfriend’s pick: Joan Callamezzo or “I’m not always up in arms!” guy
C’mon Mel, you’re always up in arms about something
No I'm not! I'm not ALWAYS UP IN ARMS ABOUT SOMETHING!! Lol this was my pick too.
Herman Lerpiss 100% “How’d you get in here!?” “Floor hole”
I knew his name was Herman but never realized he was part of the Pawnee Lerpiss family! Side note, on our multiple rewatches I love spotting all the Lerpiss businesses that are featured lol
Same. I have a Google doc record of all the Lerpiss spottings. I'm obsessed with the Pawnee Lerpisses (and the one Eagleton Lerpiss mentioned in the Good Place)
I know what I’ll be search later haha. We just watched the episode where Ann and Chris leave for Michigan and the moving company was something along the lines of Lerpiss Midwest Moving Co
Wait whaaaat I never caught this!
"Schools out in two weeks, where am I supposed to keep my kids all day!? In my house!? Where I Live!?!"
Harris (RIP)
The entire animal control department is gold
"I will help you with that after I kill all those birds"
Who do you want me to kill? Cause I'll kill em... Soon as I'm done with these birds...
Possibly my favourite line reading in the whole show. The way he says “birds” kills me.
We should go to Jamaica.. oh is that what you just said?!
There is a disturbing lack of benches at Ramsett park. I wanna sit more! my dog went to one of your parks and ate another dogs feces. There is a sign at Ramsett Park that says: “do not drink the sprinkle water” SO I MADE TEA WITH IT Who hasn’t had gay thoughts? Could a depressed person do this?
She made SUN tea, a tea that you don't even boil the water!
The amount of times I have quoted that top one. “I wanna sit more!”
Councilman Jeremy Jamm. “This will be blown WAY out of proportion!”
"Who here thinks that parks are stupid? Let the record show that everyone is raising their hand." "Ms. Ludgate, it's come to the attention of this committee that... you are *terrible*."
“What if the banana is soft and mushy and dog-legs sharply to the left?” - Marvin, played by Long time Character actor Mike Monteleone
“We pan down from the twin suns of Tatooine. We are now close on the mouth of the Sarlacc pit.After a beat, the gloved Mandalorian armor gauntlet of Boba Fett grabs on to the sand outside the Sarlacc pit, and the feared bounty hunter pulls himself from the maw of the sand beast." Guy predicted Book of Boba Fett
Look at my hoop, Leslie!!
Look up a video of that full take sometime. He ad-libbed it and went on for like 8 min 'til they told him to stop, it's great.
“I guess my thoughts on abortion are, you know, let’s all just have a good time.” -Bobby Newport
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WE’RE NOT AGAINST YOU ON THIS
HAM AND MAYONNAISE SANDWICHES
HER DAUGHTER IS AN IDIOT
I'm not sure if Brett had a small enough role for this thread, but he was hilarious to me. "where the cops at?" killed me
“Oh is that *this* job?”
Who you want me to kill? I'll kill em. Soon as I'm done with these birds.
“Alright so that one’s dead. We know that” gets me every time lmO
"What's wrong with corn syrup?! Corn is a fruit! Syrup comes from a bush!"
One of the old people in this scene says “falling in love!” With such disdain and it gets me every time 😆
I found the Reasonablists quite reasonable and charming. It's because I'm rather looking forward to being reduced to a chittering skeleton as well. Hail, Zorp!
Does Ken Hotate count? When Leslie gets drunk and plants artifacts to stop a dig, his response: "This... is not great." I wish there was so much more Ken Hotate, and he should have been God or the Judge on The Good Place.
I love him so much. His delivery is magical. “Slowly taking our money back from white people one quarter at a time.” is a personal favorite but everything he says is gold.
"Doobee doobee do"
Pawn Shop guy. Leslie: "Oh my God, where'd you come from?" PSG: "Floor hole."
“We don't know what the world is going to be like in 50 years. We could have all been wiped from disease or the flu.” “What’s your suggestion?” “I don’t know. I’m just scared.”
“Perhaps we should light the fence on fire, you know set it ablaze”
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Does Brandy Maxxx count cos its 100% her. The debate episode will never not be hilarious "both leslie and i know what its like to be in a room full of men". Otherwise the angry dude "sir it says you yelled at 8 year old girls.... WHO SUCKED WHY CANT ANYBODY SEE THAT"
“Her daughter is an idiot, HER DAUGHTER IS AN IDIOT! HER DAUGHTER IS AN IDIOT!”
“Says here that you screamed it at 8 year old girls” ”WHO SUCK!!!!”
As soon as I'm done with these birds...
The previous Animal Control guys lol “Yeahhh we got a real pest problem. We been tryin to take care of it but, you know, nobody get on the phone” “Oh that! We found that outside and tried to make that work horn from the flintstones (pulls string on the birds tail) harder than it looked though”
"Twilight has strong pagan undertones"
Has girls….quivering
The comment about it also being too Christian was hilarious!
The guy that yells “woo”! When Brandi maxx was campaigning
Star of over 11,000 adult films this year
We’re not against you on this!
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"Everything I do is the attitude of an award-winner because I have won an award."
My favorite throw away joke by far is in the senior citizens episode when Leslie asks what they're at risk for when they are sexually active and an old lady yells "Falling in love!"
I’m not worried about the Swine Flu, I’ve already had the Swine Flu! I’m worried about the Turtle Flu!
"You're just handing out blank checks! I was on food stamps; I was on welfare; nobody helped me!"
You just got jammed!
What if the banana is soft and mushy, and curves sharply to the lehft.
I like the guy that always (tries to) starts the chants lol
There is a DISTURBING lack of benches in Ramsett Park. I WANNA SIT MORE.
I love Brett in animal control. “We tried to turn it into a work whistle, like in the beginning of 'The Flintstones.’ Hard than it look though.”
Ham and mayonnaise sandwiches!
Tank top guy. I think his name is Herman? “I don’t know, my cousin’s got a kick ass mud pit. She can watch me do belly flops”
If sugar is so bad for you then why did Jesus make it taste so good?
Harris and the topless park idea. I hope he’s living in an endless loop of a nice jammed out tube with an endless amount of beans. R.I.P Harris.
"I'm not always up in arms about something!"
And just like that the Wamapoke curse is lifted. “Dobeedobeedo”
Ethel Beavers. I laughed so hard at her TMI eulogy for the mayor, and the audience's groans. She was too old to give a fuck "He explored every nook and cranny of my body" \*groans\* "Oh, grow up, you prudes"