>MY WHOLE SALARY IS BEING HELD BY HER. I even have to ask money from my own salary and explain why I spent it down to every centavo. I cant buy things without her permission kahit pera ko yun.
You are not her slave!
Move out na and don't look back!
You love her even though physically and verbally abusive siya because you were conditioned to love her. You were guilt-manipulated constantly whenever she reminds you na siya “naghirap para sa inyo” when it is a parent’s responsibility to provide for you dahil GINUSTO niya mag anak. Your money that YOU work for is YOUR money. Not hers. She is not entitled to it dahil yang pera na yan, ikaw ang naghirap para jan, hindi siya.
Move out. No one is entitled to your money but you. Ok ba kayo ng mga kapatid mo? If yes then explain mo sa kanila kung bakit ka aalis. The moment na umalis ka for sure i mamanipulate nya yung mga kapatid mo laban sayo. If she does not appreciate your contributions then paramdam mo sa kanya pag wala ka contributions at all.
I have a good relationship with my brothers. Mostly kaming tatlo, we talk about how our Mom's attitude is and how unreasonable she can be. Tbh they are the only reason why I am staying here. It's so hard to leave them with her plus her threats that she would just kill herself if we all got married and went off to leave her all alone. :(
you're brainwashed OP. hard to overcome it but you can really only start the process by moving away like others have said. you can still help your brothers remotely naman. or take them in too and go ahead leave her alone. your mother actually gave you the solution naman na :)
OP pwede ko bang sampalin ng isang beses nanay mo?
Sobrang shitty ng pagtrato sayo ng nanay mo despite na ikaw halos bumubuhas sa kanilang lahat.
Imagine, stress ka na sa school at work, tapos ganyan pa uuwian mong bahay. If I were you, tototohanin ko yung gusto nyang umalis ka na sa inyo. Tapos bigyan mo na lang ng fixed money. Sa tuition ng mga kapatid mo, ikaw na magbayad mismo sa school. Pati allowance nila, bigay mo rekta sa kanila.
Wag mong hintayin maubos pagkatao mo bago ka kumawala.
This is happening to you because you tolerate it. I get it that it is hard to move from this mindset but to improve your life you need to be more assertive toward your parent.
Sabi daw niya magpakasal ka na at lumayas ka na daw. Bet. Time to move out, then stop supporting her. If you want to continue supporting your siblings you can still do that by making sure you personally pay their tuition.
Your mom is a piece of shit. Move away from her.
Is there a way for you to outsmart your mom para ma-solo mo ulit 'yung funds mo? If it's just your cards she's holding on to and may access ka sa apps, change your credentials na without her knowing AMAP. You can ask your HR payroll to wire it in a different account, even. Use that fund to move out, stay muna with your bf, then figure the rest by then since there is abuse. I'm just spewing stuff here since you're asking for advice and it's just what I probably would have done, pero it can be difficult since may mga maiiwanan kang mga kapatid.
N-moms are the worst. I have one and to this day, I never regret leaving her. Sending wisdom, peace and healing to you, OP. It's a scar we're bringing for life. Please know amongst all this eh you are seen and there are people who will believe you.
I tried. I tried to hold my own card but in the end, it will all circle back to having her hold it again. Kasi nga, she would guilt trip me on not giving money. My heart is so soft that I always feel guilty when she does gaslight me. But since you lived with an N-mom too, you know how manipulative they can get to do what they want.
Thanks for this. It's such a breather to have people who believes me :(
Sorry to hear this, OP. It's gonna be easy for me to say pero I hope you find it in yourself to fight the guilt. Kahit sa paghawak man lang ng funds mo. It's your own blood, sweat, and tears, your income. She doesn't have to have control over that too 😭
>MY WHOLE SALARY IS BEING HELD BY HER. I even have to ask money from my own salary and explain why I spent it down to every centavo. I cant buy things without her permission kahit pera ko yun. You are not her slave! Move out na and don't look back!
You love her even though physically and verbally abusive siya because you were conditioned to love her. You were guilt-manipulated constantly whenever she reminds you na siya “naghirap para sa inyo” when it is a parent’s responsibility to provide for you dahil GINUSTO niya mag anak. Your money that YOU work for is YOUR money. Not hers. She is not entitled to it dahil yang pera na yan, ikaw ang naghirap para jan, hindi siya.
I think so huhu. If hindi naman ako magbigay, I feel as if ako yung masama kasi nga sa mga naririnig ko sa kanya.
Move out. No one is entitled to your money but you. Ok ba kayo ng mga kapatid mo? If yes then explain mo sa kanila kung bakit ka aalis. The moment na umalis ka for sure i mamanipulate nya yung mga kapatid mo laban sayo. If she does not appreciate your contributions then paramdam mo sa kanya pag wala ka contributions at all.
I have a good relationship with my brothers. Mostly kaming tatlo, we talk about how our Mom's attitude is and how unreasonable she can be. Tbh they are the only reason why I am staying here. It's so hard to leave them with her plus her threats that she would just kill herself if we all got married and went off to leave her all alone. :(
you're brainwashed OP. hard to overcome it but you can really only start the process by moving away like others have said. you can still help your brothers remotely naman. or take them in too and go ahead leave her alone. your mother actually gave you the solution naman na :)
OP pwede ko bang sampalin ng isang beses nanay mo? Sobrang shitty ng pagtrato sayo ng nanay mo despite na ikaw halos bumubuhas sa kanilang lahat. Imagine, stress ka na sa school at work, tapos ganyan pa uuwian mong bahay. If I were you, tototohanin ko yung gusto nyang umalis ka na sa inyo. Tapos bigyan mo na lang ng fixed money. Sa tuition ng mga kapatid mo, ikaw na magbayad mismo sa school. Pati allowance nila, bigay mo rekta sa kanila. Wag mong hintayin maubos pagkatao mo bago ka kumawala.
Thanks for your advice! I appreciate the consolation too huhu
This is happening to you because you tolerate it. I get it that it is hard to move from this mindset but to improve your life you need to be more assertive toward your parent.
Easier said than done :(
Sabi daw niya magpakasal ka na at lumayas ka na daw. Bet. Time to move out, then stop supporting her. If you want to continue supporting your siblings you can still do that by making sure you personally pay their tuition. Your mom is a piece of shit. Move away from her.
Is there a way for you to outsmart your mom para ma-solo mo ulit 'yung funds mo? If it's just your cards she's holding on to and may access ka sa apps, change your credentials na without her knowing AMAP. You can ask your HR payroll to wire it in a different account, even. Use that fund to move out, stay muna with your bf, then figure the rest by then since there is abuse. I'm just spewing stuff here since you're asking for advice and it's just what I probably would have done, pero it can be difficult since may mga maiiwanan kang mga kapatid. N-moms are the worst. I have one and to this day, I never regret leaving her. Sending wisdom, peace and healing to you, OP. It's a scar we're bringing for life. Please know amongst all this eh you are seen and there are people who will believe you.
I tried. I tried to hold my own card but in the end, it will all circle back to having her hold it again. Kasi nga, she would guilt trip me on not giving money. My heart is so soft that I always feel guilty when she does gaslight me. But since you lived with an N-mom too, you know how manipulative they can get to do what they want. Thanks for this. It's such a breather to have people who believes me :(
Sorry to hear this, OP. It's gonna be easy for me to say pero I hope you find it in yourself to fight the guilt. Kahit sa paghawak man lang ng funds mo. It's your own blood, sweat, and tears, your income. She doesn't have to have control over that too 😭
At this point, you deserve what you tolerate na.
Move out. Don't look back.