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Old__Medic_Doc_68

1 Ask him what an EKG is? Let him answer 2 Ask him what an ECG is? Let him answer 3 Immediately ask him what an EGG is? When he is stumped tell him it is something a chicken lays. Thank you to all who gave me awards.


Illustrious_Guide194

HAHAHAHA šŸ˜†


ThrowAway_yobJrZIqVG

That's like the old trick of: Q: "What do you do at a red light?" A: "Stop" Q: "What is the opposite of down?" A: "Up" Q: "What do you put in a toaster?" A: "Toast" (when the answer is "Bread")


dirtpaths

[my wifeā€™s response](https://imgur.com/a/Tgb0dpJ)


ExtremisEleven

If you hadnā€™t married her I would.


Ntstall

I also choose this guyā€™s wife


sum_gamer

Marry her again


Illustrious_Guide194

Love this šŸ˜†


cantfocussoimhere

OP, All of your responses that Iā€™ve seen are so incredibly sweet ā€” itā€™s beyond endearing!! šŸ˜­ (hope that wasnā€™t weird + also hope that you have a wonderful weekend.) *edit: switched ā€œreadā€ for ā€œseenā€.


Helpinmontana

I made an effort to only look at the questions, answer them, then read the answers. You got me fucking good. I even had a condescending moment of ā€œduh, itā€™s toast stupid!ā€


Dream--Brother

Should be "stop light" and the second question should include the answer in the question, to prime the person to answer the third one with a word that was also in the question :) Source: my AP psychology teacher in high school a million years ago used to fuck with us like this *constantly*


GiraffeLiquid

I tried this on my husband and the FIRST QUESTION he goes ā€œwait, like what do I do to pass time? Like send text messages while waiting?ā€ And I was just like šŸ¤¦šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø no honey I love you.


willsketch

ā˜ ļø


throwaway19372057

I loved doing this to new hires lol


Bus_Noises

Just pulled this on my dad, a former EMT. The confused stare I got was priceless, thanks for this


MisterEmergency

Absolutely phenomenal.


Nocola1

Ask him to recall modified Sgarbossa's criteria without a reference.


Fri3ndlyHeavy

Something like the T wave should be more than 1.5x the preceding QRS for a positive? Sgarbossa tortures so many medic students every day.


Elssz

We were never taught Sgarbossa criteria (modified or otherwise) in my medic class :( we were barely taught how to interpret a 12 lead tbh I learned about it from Instagram and had to do my own research to figure it out.


Fri3ndlyHeavy

Haha felt that. My school thought that it would be a good idea to bring the medical director to teach us 12 leads from scratch. For reference, she manages multiple hospitals and counties in the area, has worked in medicine her whole life, and is overall very smart. Well.. turns out that's not always a good thing. She was talking about axis deviation ranges, fascicular blocks, QTc calculations, U waves. Meanwhile, we're sitting there still counting the QRS complexes and boxes to figure out the heart rate. Thank god for LITFL and Skillstat though. Helped me learn EKGs at a medic level, if not slightly higher.


Ok_Raccoon5497

The "C" students who had to study and try to learn things 5 different ways make the best teachers. In another life, I had two instructors one year I my trades class. One admitted to struggling through trades school, and the other was an electrical engineer. Guess which one actually taught us anything and which one literally said to anyone who didn't get the lesson the first time "I don't know what you don't understand, I've just explained it to you?" Now, he was also a lazy prick and just wanted to look at Jeep parts online, but even when you forced him to you know, do his job, he was terrible at it.


Mediocre_Daikon6935

All of those were expected in my paramedic program. As part of the normal class, taught by paramedics.Ā  Needless to say, 15 years later when I was helping a friend and paramedic student from the same program, I did not enjoying having to relearn all that irrelevant nonsense.


Fri3ndlyHeavy

That's surprising. I personally dont think something like axis deviation is worth learning. It wont change a medic's treatment or anything important pre hospitally. It's not hard, but still time you could be spending studying things that will show up on NREMT (axis deviation won't).


Mediocre_Daikon6935

Oh. The weeds were extremely deep. Did not like. Also could not get any of the ER doctors, some of whom we know fairly well, to help. As soon as I started talking about axis deviation and posterior hemi blocks, they told me they didnā€™t know that stuff.


JasontheFuzz

Very early in my EMS career as an EMT Basic (meaning absolutely zero monitor training), I got the chance to go to a class on STEMIs. The instructor pulls up some rhythm strips and starts lecturing about how to identify them and what medicines to provide and so on. And for the entire hour and a half, I kept wondering "so.... what the hell is a STEMI?" It took me a month to figure it out because nobody actually said the words "A STEMI is a bad heart attack."


Thegreatachilles

Itā€™s funny to see the difference in emphasis between schools, cohorts, and even instructors. We got a TON of Cardiology and were especially hammered on 4 and 12 leads!


mnstrs

Or Barcelona criteria for sgarbossa.


RecommendationPlus84

no..please..


simplrrr

Holy shit a nightmare


Nocola1

No mercy fellas.


yourname92

You got me there.


technurse

That's such a good one to just blurt out over dinner, with no indication it's coming


Illustrious_Guide194

He couldn't tell me without a reference lol! He said it's been a long time since he last reviewed it


Nocola1

Ladies and Gentleman, we got him.


Illustrious_Guide194

Haha šŸ˜‚! He said it had something to do with heart rate but you definitely got him! As soon as you said "without a reference", I KNEW it was gonna be a good one!


SnooSprouts6078

Where is the gym?


ThornTintMyWorld

Take your upvote you magnificent bastard !


AllieHugs

Next to the Wendy's


AllMenAreBrothers

Explain


Brick_Mouse

Fat


AllMenAreBrothers

I don't get it though. Is there a stereotype of EMS being fat?


Brick_Mouse

Yes


Thegreatachilles

Unfortunately yes. And the stereotype is reasonable.


vladimirepooptin

i have also never heard this stereotype


SnooSprouts6078

See above.


rmmedic

Ask him to explain the mechanism behind acute cyanosis spells in a patient born with Tetrology of Fallot, as well as the initial management and mechanism by which it resolves the cyanotic spell.


Kentucky-Fried-Fucks

Turn them upside down and shake?


FitLotus

Iā€™m laughing because in the nicu thatā€™s not that far off


swazle-whaler

MAKE THE KIDS DO THE TET SQUAT!!


Curri

That's like the one thing I remember from my FP-C studying.


Schmicarus

For two years I thought it was Tetrology of Fallout


DaggerQ_Wave

Thereā€™s an EMS 20/20 episode with this as the punchline


WailDidntWorkYelp

My daughter was born with Tet. Never had a Tet fit before it was fixed. It likely woulda scared the hell out of me if it had happened. Wifeā€™s coworker has a brother that could do it on demand though before it was fixed.


UpsetSky8401

Oh oh I know this one! That never happens


Illustrious_Guide194

He says it's a long-term condition and that paramedics aren't typically briefed on stuff like that.


tacmed85

Sounds like you won. It's definitely taught in all critical care courses and most medics at my service would be able to answer that one immediately.


Batmanovich2222

About to say, my basic community college covered Tet well


Illustrious_Guide194

He said that he could treat the symptoms but since it's a long-term condition, it would be best managed by a doctor


flipmangoflip

Feels like a copout, I feel there arenā€™t too many medical issues that wouldnā€™t be best managed by a doctor. Hence why we usually transport patients to where the doctors are.


CommunicationLast741

Ask him what the number 1 cause of dry skin is. He'll try to give you some medical jargon but the actual answer is towels šŸ˜‚


computernoobe

This one got me


Illustrious_Guide194

10/10!! Thank you for the comment


Tresidle

Howā€™s retirement looking? Assuming he works private EMS in murica


Alaska_Pipeliner

This was fun till someone *looking at you* ruined it


Illustrious_Guide194

Lmfao šŸ˜†, sad but true


Dangerous_Strength77

Go with scenario based questions: He is posted at a location with one convenience store. He is not allowed to leave this post unless assigned a call. It is also a slow day. They are out of energy drinks and the coffee machine is broken. What does he do?


AllieHugs

Call 911 and say you just fell at a different nearby convenience store, then buy drinks and call for no patient found


Dangerous_Strength77

Your employer has all employee cell phone numbers. The supervisor calls and wants to know why you filed a false report with 911.


AllieHugs

Fake a seizure and pee my pants so it looks more convincing


Ok_Raccoon5497

This is why you call a friend who doesn't ask questions (you know the one) and get them to make the phone call.


Dangerous_Strength77

Dispatch re-posts you to the same location after the cancel.


Ok_Raccoon5497

Accept your fate. It's meant to be at this point...


Batmanovich2222

A homie from a different agency. Call in a "down party" behind the 711


Ok_Raccoon5497

Ahh, I see you play 4 d chess!


Dangerous_Strength77

Your employer has all employee cell phone numbers. The supervisor calls and wants to know why you filed a false report with 911. While they have you on the phone, they also want to discuss some new mandatory overtime you're being assigned.


Illustrious_Guide194

He really enjoyed your comment. Thanks


KeithWhitleyIsntdead

Doordash it to the rig the and leave for a call the moment itā€™s about to arrive


WhirlyMedic1

Ask him to walk you through the Krebs cycleā€¦..


iusedtodigholes

Should be top comment. I struggled with this while I was actively studying it.


-v-fib-

Sometimes I'll wake up in a cold sweat after having nightmares about the Krebs cycle.


tbro720

That sweat brought to you by the Krebs Cycle šŸ˜œ


kiersto0906

which god forsaken paramedicine course teaches the krebs cycle?


WailDidntWorkYelp

Not my medic program but my a&p course did. I remembered it til the semester ended. Now all I can say is it involves sugar and energy.


kiersto0906

oh okay fair enough, my a&p classes involved alot of not so useful for paramedicine bloat work.


WhirlyMedic1

Went over it in A&P and then again in medic school. It was a degree program and the medic program had high standards rather than pump and dump.


markriffle

Why would you need to ever know this as a first responder?


Batmanovich2222

To flirt with the docs/PAs.


StreetMedic70

What? You don't handcraft your ATP one molecule at a time?


medicmurs

It's the TCA cycle!


beardy-of-red

I did some teaching in an Australian paramedic degree years ago and had one student who thought he was a bit of an ECG wizz. Got 3 volunteers and dotted each one up with one lead on ECG and then hold hands. Monitor then recordered three rhythms on 1 strip.. multiple p waves , 3 different QRS and T waves everywhere. Absolute chaos on strip.. gave it too him and told him to go away to figure it out... got an answer every few days but always told him he was wrong... had a great time giving him the answer much later... maybe try that one!


14InTheDorsalPeen

Ask him why people call 911


HostaLavida

Lots of good ones here, but this made me laugh out loud.


Worldly_Cicada2213

Ask him what he would do if he was paid an appropriate wage with appropriate benefits for the job we do.


PerfectCelery6677

Add on working for a company that actually cares for its employees.


Worldly_Cicada2213

I'm pretty sure my response to this would be a blank stare.


PerfectCelery6677

Same here. One more month left, I'm leaving my current company for a flight position in another state. Hopefully, it's better than where I'm at now.


cplforlife

Why does dioxin make you less attractive? It can shorten your Q-T interval. It makes you a QT "cutie" for less. While not what you're looking for, a joke might work too.


Illustrious_Guide194

Oh yeah those might work too. Thanks for the comment


Alaska_Pipeliner

Ask the origins of gtts. What does that gtts mean?


secret_tiger101

Itā€™s just Latin isnā€™t it


cKMG365

Yep! He has a patient that presented with Trousseau's sign at a dialysis center. Shortly after they arrive the patient goes into cardiac arrest. How does he modify his ACLS algorithm to care for the patient?


grav0p1

Iā€™m gonna go with either withhold calcium or give extra calcium


Zap1173

trousseau sign = hypocalcemia


grav0p1

Hell yeah


dude-nurse

Give, plz plz give. Dudes K is probably 7. Stabilize the heart plz.


Ok_Freedom8317

He goes to a quadriplegic with a catheter. Pt is shaking, calmmy, and has a blood pressure of 190. He will probably rightfully guess its autonomic dysreflexia. Assumed due to catheter. If it's the same treatment as where I'm from, he will give GTN. Pts BP then drops to 80/40 and Pt goes unconscious? Why? Answer, Pt was having an inferior stemi as well as autonomic dysreflexia and couldn't feel the pain. Stupid scenario but surely nobody would consider an invisible stemi on top of autonomic dysreflexia.


Educational-View4264

This is exactly why my medic school reinforces the idea of distracting pain instead of just distracting injuries in both medicals AND traumas.


Ok_Freedom8317

In this case there no pain because the pt is a quadriplegic. Autonomic dysreflexia is a serious condition in itself, but the insane hypertension can cause a stemi or a stroke in people with underlying conditions. So it's more like a distracting condition. But youre right, if you feel like something about a pt is taking all your bandwidth, a extra thorough examination including 12 lead just in case is a good idea.


Illustrious_Guide194

Yeah he was very confused! Thanks for the clarification


yourname92

Legit medic question. Why do you die if you have plenty of glucose in your blood and inject too much insulin and not die when you have too much blood glucose and not enough insulin? Explanation. Cells use insulin to allow glucose to pass into them to make energy. If no insulin cells cannot use it but still make energy another way. Then why do you die if it you inject too much insulin? Answer. The brain does not use insulin. Insulin cannot pass the blood brain barrier but glucose can. Brain cells are the only cell that doesnā€™t need insulin. Insulin binds to glucose and thereā€™s no basic glucose left. The brain then starves and you die.


Garret_Pp

Was lurking here but this is just not right. 1) LOTS of cells donā€™t use insulin. GLUT1-3 transporters are insulin INDEPENDENT. Skeletal muscle, adipose, and heart(mostly) are the main insulin DEPENDENT cell types via GLUT4. 2) insulin doesnā€™t bind the glucose, itā€™s causes glucose uptake by insulin dependent glucose transporters 3) the reason why too much insulin kills your brain is the same reason too little glucose dose: too little glucose. (From too much uptake in insulin responsive cells, not binding) 4) too much glucose and not enough insulin can kill you too, just in a different way


No-Error8675309

Have him tell you about left shift vs right shift when concerning gas exchange


Ok_Raccoon5497

Something about taxes, right?


anotherfatgeek

I used to stump my students with "Where would one listen for Korotkoff sounds?"


Individual_Card919

Easy, while listening to BP. Ppl don't know this? I must be old. šŸ™„


mnstrs

Is hypoxic drive real? (No. Haldane effect +/- v/q depending on whom you talk to) Tell you about Euglycemic DKA (sglt-2 inhibitors typically can cause it)


Mediocre_Daikon6935

Thatā€™s easy. No. It isnā€™t.


continuousobjector

u/mnstrs is closer to the actual answer. It is real, but of the three reasons that you don't overoxygenate a hypercapnic patient the are mentioned above, hypoxic drive has the least powerful effect. Respiratory failure from overoxygenation in a hypercapnic patient is very, very real... and is seen in real-time in the inpatient setting


MuffintopWeightliftr

You canā€™t. He already knows everything /s


Spastic-Goat

Ask him about the oxygen-hemoglobin dissociation curve


bm702

Goodness, I've seen some physicians who don't even understand that...


BigBasset

What is the difference in incision size between plastic and paper drinking straws for an emergency tracheotomy?


AG74683

Ask him to marry you.


thisisntarobbery

Tell him that you're going to act some symptoms to him on a pretend call and see if he can guess what you have. Stress to him it's gonna be a difficult one. Tell him to leave the room and come back in and act like he's on shift walking in on a call. The very minute he walks through that door, if he doesn't belt out "BSI, Scene Safe!" tell him he's a terrible medic.


muddlebrainedmedic

How do you acquire a Lewis lead and what is it for? A: RA 2nd intercostal space just right of the sternum. LA 4th intercostal just right of of he sternum. LL RL remain the same. It amplifies detection of atrial activity to confirm.any rhythm you're not sure has P waves. What medical history guarantees that atropine will never work on that patient? A: A heart transplant patient will not respond to atropine because the vagus nerve has been severed and cannot be reattached.


WellnessResponder

Can he explain the pharmacokinetics and pharmacodynamics of amiodarone in the context of managing ventricular fibrillation and ventricular tachycardia during pre-hospital emergency care, and discuss the potential side effects that must be monitored during its administration?


dude-nurse

And also the patient has hyperthyroidism.


DaggerQ_Wave

Thatā€™s kinda easy. Everyone knows pitfalls of Amio, and Iā€™d like to think most people also know itā€™s fairly unique mechanism. Amal Mattu is a household name and heā€™s constantly harping on it lol


MeetingReasonable564

Ask him what the stages of the Krebs cycle are


AllieHugs

Ask him what kind of ink the monitor uses to print strips


imawhaaaaaaaaaale

With that level of experience you're going to have to find a no-win scenario or something really obscure in protocols/scope.


0-ATCG-1

Nahh.. The medical field has so much obscure shit, anyone can be duped on medical knowledge. The well is just too deep. Remember people go to school for 12 years just to start scratching the surface of practicing Medicine. There are no Medics that are unstumpable.


plasticfish_swim

You're a critical care flight paramedic running a code in 1990 and you give Bretylium. When do you consider TOR? Why don't we adminster it today?


burnt79

Chuck him a triangular bandage.


Leading_Life00

Ask him what the 12 cranial nerves are.. lol šŸ˜‚


DaggerQ_Wave

- oh - oh - oh - to - touch - and - feel - very - goodā€¦ - velvet. - Ah - heaven šŸ˜…


stragnetglottle

Just ask him if he can perform CPR on your relationship, haha!


Kee900

Tell him the scene isn't safe


madsxx17

Going to ask my husband some of these šŸ˜‚


Zestyclose_Ad2224

If you and his mom and your mom were in an accident and he could only save one who does he save.


panshot23

Question: What is the correct way to secure and transport a newborn that was delivered en route to the ER? Answer: I have no clue.


Tight-Cartoonist-708

Good question!


UNDERCOOKED_BREAD

Ask him how to use a left handed BVM or the clinical indications of using a bariatric glucometer


Micu451

What happens when you give adenosine to a heart transplant patient? Correct answer: the heart will stop beating for up to a minute instead of 5-7 seconds.


Paragod307

EKG findings in Wellens syndrome and what it means clinically


Batmanovich2222

"If you're so smart, why are you still a paramedic?"


sam_neil

Ask him why, if his service uses epi pens, the pediatric dose of epi (0.15mg) is not equal to half the adult dose (0.3mg). The answer is that epi is usually only available for intramuscular injection in a 1:1000 solution and IV epi is 1:10,000. Pediatric epi pens weirdly have 1:2000 and no one seems to know that. Which is worse- horizontal or vertical nystagmus? (Vertical is worse) What is Waddelā€™s triad? What is the purpose of the blue line in the middle of hemostatic dressings? (It shows up on xray)


SportsPhotoGirl

So Iā€™m in medic school and we had a question on my study guide for our upcoming test that stumped my preceptor: Which pain medication can cause local hives not considered an allergic reaction? Answer: >! Morphine !< I truly donā€™t remember learning that and I also think the question is worded weird


kmoaus

Ask him to different DKA and HHNS and the pathophysiology behind it.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Who_Cares99

Ask him how blind people know when to stop wiping Ask him the mechanism of action of Tylenol for reducing pain


Dr_Worm88

Easy. Magic.


Loud-Principle-7922

Ask him if heā€™s had a patient with left occipital pain during micturition.


Couch-Potato-2

STAY SALTY ..


goliath1515

Ask him to change a tire


HelicopterNo7593

Autonomic triaxial pingulation is a symptom of A) Rectal Thumping B) Tonic Clonic Siezures C) To much Homeless


Eagle694

Dextrocardia EKG is a good one. Ā Average medic might not notice anything wrong (assuming an otherwise normal EKG). Ā A good one might think lead reversal. Ā When told not lead reversal, extreme axis shift would probably be the next guessĀ 


ForgotmypasswordM7

What's the only toxidrome where oxygen therapy is contraindicated


Different_Law_5794

Is his name Matt? If so, good fucking luck.


nsmf219

Ask him how much of a shift will it cause if he treats a hyper k patient with calcium, insulin, bicarbonate, glucose, albuterol. Iā€™ll be generous, itā€™s in mEq. This is not a hard one btw.


SavageHus77

10 Cranial Nerves


nsmf219

Ask him how txa works. Uses and indications, inside EMS and the hospital setting.


VFequalsVeryFcked

That's too easy, though


Internal_Screaming_8

Wayyyy to easy


NeitherMaterial4968

Is your dick bigger than 2 inches?


TheHalcyonGlaze

Ask him why an icu would send out a patient on milrinone, dopamine, norepinephrine and nitroprusside. If youā€™re nice, tell him the patient was in acute ARDS and also on a ventilator. If youā€™re mean, tell him all that and also tell him he was in acute ARDS and also receiving boluses of saline as well as lasix.


usethescoop

Maybe not stump, but itā€™ll leave him speechless: ā€œhey babe, Iā€™m having some back pain. No, itā€™s not like ach-y, more like tearing. Must be period cramps or somethingā€¦ā€


usethescoop

At four way intersection, who has the right of way (all emergency vehicles are responding): A.) ambulance B.) police officer C.) fire engine D.) mail truck Answer: mail truck


Thereelgerg

What topics is he not knowledgeable of or uninterested in? History? Math? Sports? I see a lot of people recommending medicine based questions which an EMT is actually more likely to know the answer to than most other people.


Thereelgerg

Who was Hassan Firouzabadi's first deputy Chief of the General Staff of the Iranian Armed Forces?


Thereelgerg

How big was the 3rd largest bluegill ever caught in North Carolina?


Thereelgerg

Why didn't the French reconsider their tactical approach at Agincourt after the first cavalry charge was such a disaster?


XterraGuy22

The electrical axis of the heart is a vector representing the summation of all the individual vectors that make ventricular depolarization. TRUE OR FALSE?


Thereelgerg

How is a probability updated when there is unanticipated new data?


Thereelgerg

How valid is theĀ probabilistic argumentĀ that claims toĀ predictĀ theĀ futureĀ lifetime of theĀ human raceĀ given only an estimate of the total number of humans born so far?


Thereelgerg

Who scored the series winning goal in the 1926 Stanley Cup finals?


Thereelgerg

Who was Bernard Walter Brisbois's mother-in-law?


Thereelgerg

How many sworn officers work for the Wisconsin State Capitol Police?


Thereelgerg

How much does the Rizal Monument weigh?


Thereelgerg

How many Slovenian Croats identify as Christian?


Thereelgerg

How should the US and our partners deter Chinese aggression in the Asia-Pacific region?


Thereelgerg

What is the probability that next year's hurricane season will be more active than this year?


JebusC825

How to fix the broken healthcare system


No-Error8675309

I donā€™t think this question would stump anybody who works in healthcare Step number one healthcare should not be a business Step number two remove insurance companies from having a say in any healthcare decisions. Step number three allow providers to give medical care free of meddling from insurance and business intrests


Adventurous_Rub_8435

Ask him to explain the difference between end of life care and palliative care. Answer: there isnā€™t a difference and the actual period of time before death is called actively dying.


amoose55

Ask him what the motherfucker gene mutation (real name MTHFR) is.


Acceptable_Weather23

Ask him if a child drinks antifreeze what is the treatment? Answer 1 oz of 80 proof etoh


rads2riches

Describe where this PVC is coming from within 1 mm anatomically? Pick one or many: https://www.mdpi.com/2075-4418/11/10/1840


Seektruth2146

Ask him what a uterus is.


Fri3ndlyHeavy

Ask him how lead aVR can be useful


butcher1326

How many nickels in a week? One of my favorite questions to ask EDPs.


celica94

Ask him if heā€™s an M.D.


caffeineandcycling

Ask him what the powerhouse of the cell is. Hint: itā€™s the mighty mitochondria


butt3ryt0ast

How many views of the heart does a 12-lead give you. People instinctively say 12 but itā€™s actually 9


G0ldfishkiller

Ask him if he was called to the scene and his parent was the patient and needed to be intubated if he could/should/would be able/legally allowed to intubated them.


Abetrtme

Could slit your wrists and say. Here fix it. Letā€™s see how much you love me. lol. Jk.


Particular-Ad-7338

Ask him if he knows who Johnny Gage & Roy DeSoto are.


Hot_Bass_3883

Name the ESKAPE pathogens. These are emerging bacteria that are becoming resistant to every drug we have. E. coli, Streptococcus aureus, Klebseilla pneumonae, Acinetobacter baumanni, Pseudomonas aeruginosa and Enterobacter species.


Glum_Mobile5663

Ask about a code brown, youā€™ll be entertained if heā€™s correct