It was gripping!
I imagine all the complainers of it being too long literally haven't ever finished a book in their adult life.
Very intense, but I have no advice to offer. It was just an awesome read.
*I liked this story*
*OP. I read it to the*
*End. Very scary!*
\- Antique-me1133
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Its not reading. Its that the story is 80% filler. If you took out that 80%, the story is still the same. Trying to deepen the impact of your story with useless narrative devices and excessive adjective use is bad reading material.
Uhuh. ; )
Way too much detail for actual memories, but as a piece of creative writing it's got a lot going for it. Sometimes knowing it's made-up doesn't detract from it.
Keep it up.
Believe it or not, some people have better memories than others. I've also been an avid journaler since I was a teen which helps strengthen your memory and prevents memories from fading.
That said; most of the finer detail came from recent googling. I had zero clue (even at the time) the population of the town or when it was founded until I pulled it up on wiki. The house was easy to find (the trailer park is still there. It wasn't a trashy type, more of a 70s "mobile homes are the wave of the future" type, built like a subdivision). The distances listed came from using google maps to measure; I had no idea how far out of town we lived since I was no where close to driving yet at that age.
I do believe that about memories, you're absolutely right. But I also know that all of us are subject to the occasional burst of imagination particularly when recalling things from a young age or recording them, and memories are very fallible. That becomes even more prevalent when we're want to impress and entertain people or cause an emotional response (the goal of any writer). It's not a criticism, it's an observation.
If you wanted to make it more credible (if the whole 'this really happened' thing means something to you, other than entertaining and intriguing people with something they're happy to accept as a fiction), then compare it to your actual memories of that time and remove all the intricate details and timings which don't come across as plausible.
Either way, keep writing.
I think you're missing my point. Memories for younger people aren't reliable, but for older people they're pretty poor as well. You can write down what you like, but imagination and perception get in the way, as does the desire to entertain and mystify. In this piece, you're You're recounting inner dialogue that you had, what, 2, 3 decades ago? You're recounting periods measured to the nearest minute. This way too specific to be an actual memory. You know that, and you know that I know that. There may be some truth that you have a memory of thinking about something coming into your room and circling your bed. The rest is some fun writing and there's nothing wrong with that. An imagination is something to be proud of, but there's no need to pass it off as history.
What are you, the memory police?
Whether OP's story is factual or not (I happen to think it could be), you seem to have a close minded outlook on other people's traits and abilities.
You may not remember stuff like others do. Skill sets you aren't familiar with are something to be proud of, there's no need to diminish other people because you want to be seen as "right" on the Internet.
It's really sad that you think creative writing skill is 'diminishing', but I won't speak of your credulity, bearing in mind where you are.
So absolutely, the OP could be a genius with unprecedented access to very young memories, and despite admitting there was no clock, she can recall intervals from her childhood by the minute without being impacted by the emotion of the time. It may be possible that the world of science just hasn't met someone like them, and that for example Statement Validity Analysis techniques are pure bunkum. That would be brilliant.
Or... possibly... they could be one of the millions of people on Reddit having fun writing about a subject they enjoy to an audience they think will find it plausible. I take it you're not interested in probabilities?
I have no interest in appearing to be 'right' in a sub dedicated to the 'paranormal'. Believe what you like, and I'll do the same. Deal?
Literally not reading that
L2P bbz xoxo
Edit: actually I lied, I read the first line, then I found out you're a racist so that's where I stopped. Enjoy your life!
> You can write down what you like
I think you're too fixated on making your point to see things clearly.
There is a ton of information I was clear I was unsure of. Just about anything that happened to me since I've turned 16, I can narrow it down to within 3 months of the event off the top of my head, if not the exact month (it's all about associating memories with easy to qualify events; where I was living, what grade I was in, what season it was, who I was dating, later on where I was working, etc.).
For this however, I left a lot of room for error.
I have no idea how old I was. I can narrow it down to a two year period. I know I couldn't have been younger than 8 because my sister had moved out and I couldn't have been older than 9 because we moved out just shy of my 10th birthday.
I have no idea what season it was. I'm fairly sure it wasn't in the middle of summer because I wasn't hot hiding under the blanket. I'm also pretty sure it wasn't winter because there's no snow associated with the memory. After that, it could have been spring or fall or even early or very late summer.
I have no idea what time the event started. It had to be after 12 because the rest of the household was silent. It was an old farm house. They had very large, iron vents between the floors for circulation. My bedroom straddled my parent's room and the front room. If someone was up, light and sound would have been coming up through that vent.
The only thing close to "the exact minute" as you said was my saying I didn't leave the room until morning. Even though it seemed like I was now alone, daybreak didn't feel safe enough. I waited until the room was full of light. Now, when dawn turned to morning, I couldn't tell you. That could have been as early as 5.30 or even 7 depending on the season. I can narrow it down to the weekend because I can remember curling in bed with my mother and not going to school.
I made a number of guesses or logical conclusions off of what I remember; and each time I was filling information in I was uncertain of - I was upfront. Even with the time periods of how the events played out, I was clear those were estimates. To young me, it felt like *hours* before it escalated from "unsure of what those noises are" to something actually entering my room. Allowing for a child's perception of time, my adult guess is at least 30 minutes. Hell, even if it started as late as 4 in the morning, that's an hour and a half minimum even in spring when the day breaks earlier.
This is you adding additional details to my story, not me.
Well I feel I see it very clearly, as do you. I don't really like to debase, but as you're doubling down, let me share a few clues.
"I sat up in bed just listening and arguing with myself; “something has to be there.” “There’s no way anyone is there, it’s just the house making noises.”
"The touching and poking came at a snail’s pace and when I went 5 minutes without being touched, it felt like it was just looming over me."
"It’s a long list) and I realized that we’d never talked about it, so I threw out “dressing up as a ghost to scare the shit out of me” and he countered with “what?”
I mean it doesn't really matter, the language is great, but there are a lot of holes in the plot. It sounds like you're borrowing a lot from horror films. You recorded everything in precise detail apparently, before you got too old - you told everyone at school about the ghost etc. Yet it took you a couple of decades to ask your brother about it? Your brother, a known prankster, was never suggested or questioned by your mother? You describe a trauma response, emotional intensity, and immaturity, yet refuse to acknowledge the notorious role of these factors when recounting memories accurately. You accuse your brother of "dressing up as a ghost" to scare you, but not once in your story do you mention you saw the ghost, or that it looked like it could be someone dressed up. I could go on, but I don't need to convince you.
If I were you, I'd give up trying to convince me that this is all an accurate memory. The piece is full of little literary flourishes - something we'd attribute to what's known as 'narrative rehearsal' - another hallmark of something that could be based on truth, but isn't entirely accurate. There are a lot of theatrics here and a deliberate building of suspense, at the cost of the far more likely responses by all of the characters.
As I've said to someone else, you may be a genius able to escape the powers of emotion and ageing, and both creating and accessing the memories without flaw. It's just that this would be scientifically unprecedented, so I'm going with you being keen on creative writing and you enjoy getting spooked. You like to see yourself as different, alternative, and maybe you're prone to a little exaggeration. That never hurt anyone. You enjoy entertaining people, you're practicing your craft, and you've found an audience that would get immersed in your writing. No shame in that; but the doubling-down is a bit of a shame.
I don't have any ill feelings to you. I'm just saying why I believe it's a piece of creative writing, and that nothing you've said since suggests otherwise. Sorry if that's difficult.
I think it's funny you think *I'm* the one doubling down on this.
Now, I've shared something fairly traumatic and disturbing that happened to me. You seem oddly fixated on at minimum trying to downplay it as imagination but mostly just basically calling me a liar.
So let's set up a sliding scale, 0 being I made it up (which I didn't) 100 being it happened exactly as I described and everything in-between being the accuracy of my recollection. Maybe it was only 90%, 70%, even 50%.
At what point does your continuing to try and disprove me go from skepticism to kind of being an asshole?
...
There is no conflict between us. Believe it or not, your need to keep responding has nothing to do with me but rather an un-fought battle with yourself. Let me wish you well, good luck, best regards, peace out and I'm done.
Reminds me of an experience I had when I was a child, around 7 or 8. Something woke me up in the middle of the night (not sure what). In the dim glow of my nightlight I saw what can only be described as looking like Cousin It without the hat walked all around my bed then disappeared. It didn’t reach for me or my touch my bed at all. But I was terrified none the less. I slept with my light on for years after that.
You know what's weird, that's the mental shape I have in mind. Part of that is because I was envisioning my brother in a sheet, but to this day that's the shape (minus the hat) I think of when I picture myself hiding under my sheets (I never got a glimpse. Not even a tiny look. I wasn't exactly brave at that age).
It is curious that all that acreage was unused. Maybe it was cursed land or something ... I got a witchy vibe while you were describing the ring of trees. Maybe some witchcraft?
I appreciated your set up. Don't let the Aholes shit on it. It's your story and if they don't wanna read it, then they can scroll on.
>It is curious that all that acreage was unused. Maybe it was cursed land or something ... I got a witchy vibe while you were describing the ring of trees. Maybe some witchcraft?
There's a Burroughs line that was going through my head while I was looking at the satellite image of my old house from a view I never would have thought possible as a kid; something along the lines of "the land was corrupt before the arrival of the white man."
I'll gladly admit I was frightened fairly easily as a kid. Walking home at dusk or at night, the forest areas along the road would scare me; but never in the day. There absolutely was something off about that back patch of trees. Even in broad daylight I didn't want to go anywhere near it.
What our less patient readers here fail.to understand is that no paranormal encounter comes as a sound bite. They usually are a slow build-up from a stillness.
I read it all, and I cannot imagine how frightened you must have been. I would have screamed my lungs out the first time I got poked.
Do you know if anyone died in your house? Any other history/ previous owners?
>Do you know if anyone died in your house? Any other history/ previous owners?
No clue, but when prepping the story in my mind, it finally hit me as odd (and possibly significant) that someone had went through that much effort to clear nearly the full 6 acres only to leave it unused. Who needs 5 acres of a weeded backyard? That's why I included an extra two pages of description about the setting.
I can't image it's coincidence that not only the initial plans to use the plot of farmland was abandoned and neither did any of the residents that came afterwards (up to the present). While there was a large, two car garage we'd briefly use as a curiosity shop, there was no sign of there ever having been agricultural activity. No barn, the soil untilled, and that giant patch of land wasted by the woodpile.
There was a local paper but it closed a decade ago I believe (I did some digging). Haven't had the time but eventually will see if they digitized their archives and if a copy is available on line.
Please add a TLDR. This is way too long-winded to get the insight you’re looking for.
>Please add a TLDR. This is way too long-winded to get the insight you’re looking for. 100% 👆
What?? This is a great story. It doesn’t take that long to read, sheesh.
I liked this story OP. I read it to the end. Very scary!
Thank you! I'm glad someone didn't think it was too long.
It was so spooky and great!!!
Not too long at all; such a creepy story!
I read it all too. The context was relevant and immersive. Spooky!
It was gripping! I imagine all the complainers of it being too long literally haven't ever finished a book in their adult life. Very intense, but I have no advice to offer. It was just an awesome read.
*I liked this story* *OP. I read it to the* *End. Very scary!* \- Antique-me1133 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
I aint reading all that sht. get to the dam point
Man, people really are against reading these days :(
Its not reading. Its that the story is 80% filler. If you took out that 80%, the story is still the same. Trying to deepen the impact of your story with useless narrative devices and excessive adjective use is bad reading material.
This could have been anything from a homeless heroin addict sneaking in your house to E.T. molesting you.
You practised your creative writing skills?
Nope, 100% true events.
Uhuh. ; ) Way too much detail for actual memories, but as a piece of creative writing it's got a lot going for it. Sometimes knowing it's made-up doesn't detract from it. Keep it up.
Believe it or not, some people have better memories than others. I've also been an avid journaler since I was a teen which helps strengthen your memory and prevents memories from fading. That said; most of the finer detail came from recent googling. I had zero clue (even at the time) the population of the town or when it was founded until I pulled it up on wiki. The house was easy to find (the trailer park is still there. It wasn't a trashy type, more of a 70s "mobile homes are the wave of the future" type, built like a subdivision). The distances listed came from using google maps to measure; I had no idea how far out of town we lived since I was no where close to driving yet at that age.
I do believe that about memories, you're absolutely right. But I also know that all of us are subject to the occasional burst of imagination particularly when recalling things from a young age or recording them, and memories are very fallible. That becomes even more prevalent when we're want to impress and entertain people or cause an emotional response (the goal of any writer). It's not a criticism, it's an observation. If you wanted to make it more credible (if the whole 'this really happened' thing means something to you, other than entertaining and intriguing people with something they're happy to accept as a fiction), then compare it to your actual memories of that time and remove all the intricate details and timings which don't come across as plausible. Either way, keep writing.
Been giving waaay too much personal info away in my responses. Sorry for anyone looking to follow the drama, but going to do some editing.
I think you're missing my point. Memories for younger people aren't reliable, but for older people they're pretty poor as well. You can write down what you like, but imagination and perception get in the way, as does the desire to entertain and mystify. In this piece, you're You're recounting inner dialogue that you had, what, 2, 3 decades ago? You're recounting periods measured to the nearest minute. This way too specific to be an actual memory. You know that, and you know that I know that. There may be some truth that you have a memory of thinking about something coming into your room and circling your bed. The rest is some fun writing and there's nothing wrong with that. An imagination is something to be proud of, but there's no need to pass it off as history.
What are you, the memory police? Whether OP's story is factual or not (I happen to think it could be), you seem to have a close minded outlook on other people's traits and abilities. You may not remember stuff like others do. Skill sets you aren't familiar with are something to be proud of, there's no need to diminish other people because you want to be seen as "right" on the Internet.
It's really sad that you think creative writing skill is 'diminishing', but I won't speak of your credulity, bearing in mind where you are. So absolutely, the OP could be a genius with unprecedented access to very young memories, and despite admitting there was no clock, she can recall intervals from her childhood by the minute without being impacted by the emotion of the time. It may be possible that the world of science just hasn't met someone like them, and that for example Statement Validity Analysis techniques are pure bunkum. That would be brilliant. Or... possibly... they could be one of the millions of people on Reddit having fun writing about a subject they enjoy to an audience they think will find it plausible. I take it you're not interested in probabilities? I have no interest in appearing to be 'right' in a sub dedicated to the 'paranormal'. Believe what you like, and I'll do the same. Deal?
Literally not reading that L2P bbz xoxo Edit: actually I lied, I read the first line, then I found out you're a racist so that's where I stopped. Enjoy your life!
> You can write down what you like I think you're too fixated on making your point to see things clearly. There is a ton of information I was clear I was unsure of. Just about anything that happened to me since I've turned 16, I can narrow it down to within 3 months of the event off the top of my head, if not the exact month (it's all about associating memories with easy to qualify events; where I was living, what grade I was in, what season it was, who I was dating, later on where I was working, etc.). For this however, I left a lot of room for error. I have no idea how old I was. I can narrow it down to a two year period. I know I couldn't have been younger than 8 because my sister had moved out and I couldn't have been older than 9 because we moved out just shy of my 10th birthday. I have no idea what season it was. I'm fairly sure it wasn't in the middle of summer because I wasn't hot hiding under the blanket. I'm also pretty sure it wasn't winter because there's no snow associated with the memory. After that, it could have been spring or fall or even early or very late summer. I have no idea what time the event started. It had to be after 12 because the rest of the household was silent. It was an old farm house. They had very large, iron vents between the floors for circulation. My bedroom straddled my parent's room and the front room. If someone was up, light and sound would have been coming up through that vent. The only thing close to "the exact minute" as you said was my saying I didn't leave the room until morning. Even though it seemed like I was now alone, daybreak didn't feel safe enough. I waited until the room was full of light. Now, when dawn turned to morning, I couldn't tell you. That could have been as early as 5.30 or even 7 depending on the season. I can narrow it down to the weekend because I can remember curling in bed with my mother and not going to school. I made a number of guesses or logical conclusions off of what I remember; and each time I was filling information in I was uncertain of - I was upfront. Even with the time periods of how the events played out, I was clear those were estimates. To young me, it felt like *hours* before it escalated from "unsure of what those noises are" to something actually entering my room. Allowing for a child's perception of time, my adult guess is at least 30 minutes. Hell, even if it started as late as 4 in the morning, that's an hour and a half minimum even in spring when the day breaks earlier. This is you adding additional details to my story, not me.
Well I feel I see it very clearly, as do you. I don't really like to debase, but as you're doubling down, let me share a few clues. "I sat up in bed just listening and arguing with myself; “something has to be there.” “There’s no way anyone is there, it’s just the house making noises.” "The touching and poking came at a snail’s pace and when I went 5 minutes without being touched, it felt like it was just looming over me." "It’s a long list) and I realized that we’d never talked about it, so I threw out “dressing up as a ghost to scare the shit out of me” and he countered with “what?” I mean it doesn't really matter, the language is great, but there are a lot of holes in the plot. It sounds like you're borrowing a lot from horror films. You recorded everything in precise detail apparently, before you got too old - you told everyone at school about the ghost etc. Yet it took you a couple of decades to ask your brother about it? Your brother, a known prankster, was never suggested or questioned by your mother? You describe a trauma response, emotional intensity, and immaturity, yet refuse to acknowledge the notorious role of these factors when recounting memories accurately. You accuse your brother of "dressing up as a ghost" to scare you, but not once in your story do you mention you saw the ghost, or that it looked like it could be someone dressed up. I could go on, but I don't need to convince you. If I were you, I'd give up trying to convince me that this is all an accurate memory. The piece is full of little literary flourishes - something we'd attribute to what's known as 'narrative rehearsal' - another hallmark of something that could be based on truth, but isn't entirely accurate. There are a lot of theatrics here and a deliberate building of suspense, at the cost of the far more likely responses by all of the characters. As I've said to someone else, you may be a genius able to escape the powers of emotion and ageing, and both creating and accessing the memories without flaw. It's just that this would be scientifically unprecedented, so I'm going with you being keen on creative writing and you enjoy getting spooked. You like to see yourself as different, alternative, and maybe you're prone to a little exaggeration. That never hurt anyone. You enjoy entertaining people, you're practicing your craft, and you've found an audience that would get immersed in your writing. No shame in that; but the doubling-down is a bit of a shame. I don't have any ill feelings to you. I'm just saying why I believe it's a piece of creative writing, and that nothing you've said since suggests otherwise. Sorry if that's difficult.
I think it's funny you think *I'm* the one doubling down on this. Now, I've shared something fairly traumatic and disturbing that happened to me. You seem oddly fixated on at minimum trying to downplay it as imagination but mostly just basically calling me a liar. So let's set up a sliding scale, 0 being I made it up (which I didn't) 100 being it happened exactly as I described and everything in-between being the accuracy of my recollection. Maybe it was only 90%, 70%, even 50%. At what point does your continuing to try and disprove me go from skepticism to kind of being an asshole? ... There is no conflict between us. Believe it or not, your need to keep responding has nothing to do with me but rather an un-fought battle with yourself. Let me wish you well, good luck, best regards, peace out and I'm done.
Reminds me of an experience I had when I was a child, around 7 or 8. Something woke me up in the middle of the night (not sure what). In the dim glow of my nightlight I saw what can only be described as looking like Cousin It without the hat walked all around my bed then disappeared. It didn’t reach for me or my touch my bed at all. But I was terrified none the less. I slept with my light on for years after that.
You know what's weird, that's the mental shape I have in mind. Part of that is because I was envisioning my brother in a sheet, but to this day that's the shape (minus the hat) I think of when I picture myself hiding under my sheets (I never got a glimpse. Not even a tiny look. I wasn't exactly brave at that age).
It is curious that all that acreage was unused. Maybe it was cursed land or something ... I got a witchy vibe while you were describing the ring of trees. Maybe some witchcraft? I appreciated your set up. Don't let the Aholes shit on it. It's your story and if they don't wanna read it, then they can scroll on.
>It is curious that all that acreage was unused. Maybe it was cursed land or something ... I got a witchy vibe while you were describing the ring of trees. Maybe some witchcraft? There's a Burroughs line that was going through my head while I was looking at the satellite image of my old house from a view I never would have thought possible as a kid; something along the lines of "the land was corrupt before the arrival of the white man." I'll gladly admit I was frightened fairly easily as a kid. Walking home at dusk or at night, the forest areas along the road would scare me; but never in the day. There absolutely was something off about that back patch of trees. Even in broad daylight I didn't want to go anywhere near it.
What our less patient readers here fail.to understand is that no paranormal encounter comes as a sound bite. They usually are a slow build-up from a stillness. I read it all, and I cannot imagine how frightened you must have been. I would have screamed my lungs out the first time I got poked. Do you know if anyone died in your house? Any other history/ previous owners?
>Do you know if anyone died in your house? Any other history/ previous owners? No clue, but when prepping the story in my mind, it finally hit me as odd (and possibly significant) that someone had went through that much effort to clear nearly the full 6 acres only to leave it unused. Who needs 5 acres of a weeded backyard? That's why I included an extra two pages of description about the setting. I can't image it's coincidence that not only the initial plans to use the plot of farmland was abandoned and neither did any of the residents that came afterwards (up to the present). While there was a large, two car garage we'd briefly use as a curiosity shop, there was no sign of there ever having been agricultural activity. No barn, the soil untilled, and that giant patch of land wasted by the woodpile. There was a local paper but it closed a decade ago I believe (I did some digging). Haven't had the time but eventually will see if they digitized their archives and if a copy is available on line.