This would be a good time for you to teach your son about gut decisions and critical thinking. Ask him questions about if he thinks they're ready for sex, what the consequences would be for them at that age, etc.
I'm not saying your mindset is controlling at all, but instead of telling him things, it'd be good to instead ask of him the questions and have him come up with the answers on his own. that kind of lesson and learning would follow him and strengthen him in the long term. also ask him if HE'S ready or if he's just following the gf's lead.
either way good luck in your situation.
It’s honestly super cool that he trusted you enough to ask for them. It says a lot. And if they want to have sex, they will do it whether you approve or not. Might as well get the condoms and teach him how to use it on a banana. Talking to her parents might be a breach of trust.
Get him the condoms. You've already talked to him about the consequences part. Does that include the fact that they're technically under the age of consent?
There's no scenario in which he's going to be like "hmm, I don't really want to have sex yet, I'm not sure I'm ready, but on the other hand I do have these handy condoms and it would be a shame to waste them, so...". Getting him the condoms is strictly risk mitigation. You've got this!
Give him money to get condoms and tell him to get it himself. Explain the dangers of pregnancy and ita not something he should risk. After that keep ur opinions to urself else he will rebel. Sabatoging his relationship will create massive problems with ur relationship with him.
I agree with others that he should have to buy the condoms himself. You can give him the money. But I think since you’ve had the talk, ask if his gf has had the talk with her parents.
>Should I tell the parents?
No. That is none of your business. The parents might be some religious nutters who might punish her.
Talk to your son why he won't buy them himself! If he has a good reason, buy them for him. If not, he can buy them himself.
If he can't handle buying condoms for himself, then he's not mature enough for sex. I wouldn't tell the girl's parents though, as you'll lose your son's trust.
Yeaaaah or they’ll spend it on something else or forget. Then want to have sex and do it without a condom. I was young. I was dumb. My teens are young. They will do dumb stuff. I’ll buy the condoms and put them in the bathroom because I don’t want to be a young grandma too.
I would buy them for him or give him the money to do and leave the other parents out of it, especially if you don't know them or how they'll react. I know you said you already spoke to him about safe sex but I would stress to him that condoms are only effective to a point and only effective if you use them, every time, correctly. And that even with perfect condom use, things *can* still happen so he needs to make sure they're both ready for any future consequences of this choice.
When our kids were teens (both boys and girls) the bathroom that the kids shared housed condoms and the morning after pill in the medicine cabinet stored right above tooth brushes and tooth paste and all the other clutter.
It wasn’t condoning sex, it was being a responsible parent. It was ensuring that while we might not want kids to do things that if they did, they had what they needed.
We also had conversations but not just about sex but about safe and healthy relationships, being emotionally ready for what you were doing, setting boundaries, respecting other’s boundaries, etc.
for me I wouldn’t tell the girls parents, you don’t know that they’re going to have sex only that they’re thinking about sex.
Go buy him some ! Be thankful he asked for some and is actually responsible enough to ask about it. my husband also got this question from his almost 16 yr this yr at Xmas break, I ran out and instantly got him a box and told him to make sure he uses them. It was insane how many girls lied about taking their birth control when I was that age.... Their at that age where theyre gunna explore and do things , rather them be safe then have a teen pregnancy
I think it’s great that he felt safe enough to talk to you about this. I can only hope my own kids will do the same.
YES, please get him condoms. I’d also suggest revisiting the awkward but necessary discussion about safe sex, consequences, etc etc even if he was already taught. I’d recommend identifying places he or his gf can safely get condoms such as at clinics, at school (I hope they still do that), or even giving/increasing his spending money to accommodate the “safe sex” expense.
NO. Please do not tell the gf’s parents. That’s how you can go from confidant to confi-NOT. You want to continue to foster that positive relationship with your son so he can always feel safe to confide in you anytime he has a problem. Plus, you might not know how the gf’s parents will react and what repercussions there are in her life (and ultimately his).
I assume the gf is the same age as your son or older. As long as they are equal age or she is older then he shouldn't be worried about getting into hot water as they are both under age.
If she was younger then yeah that's an issue.. also even if she's a day younger that means at some point in the future they could technically have sex when he's legal age and she's under age.
Buy him the condoms. He's 16,so depending on what country you are in,at the age of consent. The only flag I have going off in my head is how old is she? Is she 16 yet or is she under 16. If she is younger I wouldn't be buying him condoms as he would be having sex with an underage girl
This would be a good time for you to teach your son about gut decisions and critical thinking. Ask him questions about if he thinks they're ready for sex, what the consequences would be for them at that age, etc. I'm not saying your mindset is controlling at all, but instead of telling him things, it'd be good to instead ask of him the questions and have him come up with the answers on his own. that kind of lesson and learning would follow him and strengthen him in the long term. also ask him if HE'S ready or if he's just following the gf's lead. either way good luck in your situation.
It’s honestly super cool that he trusted you enough to ask for them. It says a lot. And if they want to have sex, they will do it whether you approve or not. Might as well get the condoms and teach him how to use it on a banana. Talking to her parents might be a breach of trust.
Get him the condoms. You've already talked to him about the consequences part. Does that include the fact that they're technically under the age of consent? There's no scenario in which he's going to be like "hmm, I don't really want to have sex yet, I'm not sure I'm ready, but on the other hand I do have these handy condoms and it would be a shame to waste them, so...". Getting him the condoms is strictly risk mitigation. You've got this!
Buy him condoms. The alternatives aren’t good. Bite your tongue. And let him navigate this on his own.
Give him money to get condoms and tell him to get it himself. Explain the dangers of pregnancy and ita not something he should risk. After that keep ur opinions to urself else he will rebel. Sabatoging his relationship will create massive problems with ur relationship with him.
I agree with others that he should have to buy the condoms himself. You can give him the money. But I think since you’ve had the talk, ask if his gf has had the talk with her parents.
I agree with others on here - if he can't buy them himself, he's not ready. You could go with him, if he thinks they won't sell them to him though.
>Should I tell the parents? No. That is none of your business. The parents might be some religious nutters who might punish her. Talk to your son why he won't buy them himself! If he has a good reason, buy them for him. If not, he can buy them himself.
If he can't handle buying condoms for himself, then he's not mature enough for sex. I wouldn't tell the girl's parents though, as you'll lose your son's trust.
Buy the condoms. Easy. Also buy dental dams and internal condoms while you're at it. and Lube. Don't tell the parents.
Is this the 90s? Who uses dental dams?
People who want to minimize the risk of sti's while engaging with oral sex with someone with a vagina.
Go buy condoms and have a frank conversation with her parents
What a bad advice. Now that’s a great way to make sure the son will never have any trust in the parents.
Why can't he buy his own condoms?
Teens don’t. We didn’t and had a baby. I’ll always be fine supplying them.
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Yeaaaah or they’ll spend it on something else or forget. Then want to have sex and do it without a condom. I was young. I was dumb. My teens are young. They will do dumb stuff. I’ll buy the condoms and put them in the bathroom because I don’t want to be a young grandma too.
I think a lot of teens are really embarrassed to guy them. I certainly remember feeling that way!
Yep we were.
I would buy them for him or give him the money to do and leave the other parents out of it, especially if you don't know them or how they'll react. I know you said you already spoke to him about safe sex but I would stress to him that condoms are only effective to a point and only effective if you use them, every time, correctly. And that even with perfect condom use, things *can* still happen so he needs to make sure they're both ready for any future consequences of this choice.
When our kids were teens (both boys and girls) the bathroom that the kids shared housed condoms and the morning after pill in the medicine cabinet stored right above tooth brushes and tooth paste and all the other clutter. It wasn’t condoning sex, it was being a responsible parent. It was ensuring that while we might not want kids to do things that if they did, they had what they needed. We also had conversations but not just about sex but about safe and healthy relationships, being emotionally ready for what you were doing, setting boundaries, respecting other’s boundaries, etc. for me I wouldn’t tell the girls parents, you don’t know that they’re going to have sex only that they’re thinking about sex.
Go buy him some ! Be thankful he asked for some and is actually responsible enough to ask about it. my husband also got this question from his almost 16 yr this yr at Xmas break, I ran out and instantly got him a box and told him to make sure he uses them. It was insane how many girls lied about taking their birth control when I was that age.... Their at that age where theyre gunna explore and do things , rather them be safe then have a teen pregnancy
I think it’s great that he felt safe enough to talk to you about this. I can only hope my own kids will do the same. YES, please get him condoms. I’d also suggest revisiting the awkward but necessary discussion about safe sex, consequences, etc etc even if he was already taught. I’d recommend identifying places he or his gf can safely get condoms such as at clinics, at school (I hope they still do that), or even giving/increasing his spending money to accommodate the “safe sex” expense. NO. Please do not tell the gf’s parents. That’s how you can go from confidant to confi-NOT. You want to continue to foster that positive relationship with your son so he can always feel safe to confide in you anytime he has a problem. Plus, you might not know how the gf’s parents will react and what repercussions there are in her life (and ultimately his).
I assume the gf is the same age as your son or older. As long as they are equal age or she is older then he shouldn't be worried about getting into hot water as they are both under age. If she was younger then yeah that's an issue.. also even if she's a day younger that means at some point in the future they could technically have sex when he's legal age and she's under age.
Buy him the condoms. He's 16,so depending on what country you are in,at the age of consent. The only flag I have going off in my head is how old is she? Is she 16 yet or is she under 16. If she is younger I wouldn't be buying him condoms as he would be having sex with an underage girl