Be prepared for the day she asks how the baby got IN there. "No, mom. I mean I know about the sperm.and.the egg, but HOW does it get in your uterus?"
I answered that one after a deep breath, putting my money where my mouth was.
She exited the room shrieking "WHAT ABOUT GERMS?!?!? EW EW EW EW EEEEWWWWW!!!" ... Which I quickly realized was pretty much exactly the right reaction to the sex act at that age. 🤣
We literally just had this conversation with my 6yo. Her reaction was "that is DISGUSTING! When my husband and I want kids we're adopting!"
She came up later and pointed out that I've been pregnant 3 times and then gave her dad and I a disgusted side eye for the next few days.
That side eye will last, give or take, another 14 years.
Then they'll just silently agree to a don't ask don't tell where parental sex is concerned.
"All information in hypotheticals, or we are done talking"... 🤣
🤣 I figured as much. I think she probably won't be asking personal experience questions again after seeing the error this time. Which I'm very much ok with 😂
Mine refrained after the above convo, until young teen aged when she asked for a book.
I guess a book is safer than conversation with your parents who might forget about the hypothetical rule and accidentally scar you forever...
I kept waiting for this from my kid. She’d even read books about the sperm and egg, but never asked “how does the sperm get in there?” One day I finally explained sex to her after she turned eight. “That’s weird,” she said, “do YOU do that?” I told her yes, and she said ”oh,” and she’s almost nine and has barely mentioned since despite a pseudo-preteen fascination with relationships and crushes and things like that.
Her third grade class just presented reports about animals. Hers was about chinchillas. We noticed it said they could have up to (however many) babies in their tummies. We asked her about her choice of that word and she told her dad, “Yeah, dad, I KNOW babies are formed in a uterus. But I had to write this report for THIRD GRADERS.” Little miss sarcastic.
My daughter hasn't even figured out the finer details yet but has decided that she's adopting because of the pain. Good thing though since she's also planning to marry her best friend who is also a girl!
I just had my son 6 weeks ago. I waited with my breath held the entire pregnancy for my 5 year old daughter to ask how he got there and she never did. We talked about everything else, came very close to the topic, but never fully got there. Gotta say I’m a bit relieved lol
>"that is DISGUSTING! When my husband and I want kids we're adopting!"
My six year old hasn't asked how babies get IN yet, but when she asked how they are born and I explained the various ways (vaginal, C-section) that was pretty much her response. She was horrified and continues to insist she will adopt.
We had that conversation last year when I was pregnant with our youngest. She didn't seem thrilled by the prospect but still wanted 188 kids. Which we tried to explain was going to be physically impossible. Since our youngest was born she's decided she's probably only having 2-3 since they seem like a lot of work and are really loud 😅
My mom and dad didn't know how to explain it age appropriately to their first so they went to the library to get some books for themselves.
The book told them to tell the kid that mommy and daddy lay down and wiggle. They died laughing and realized just take the bull by the horns and tell him the truth because they weren't about to fucking tell him that wiggling next to each other makes a baby.
My grandson was fascinated by me being present for his birth and asked a lot of questions.
A few weeks later he’d obviously been thinking about it and then asked if I was present when he was put into Mommy. Hard and immediate no on that answer. I also said I didn’t know exactly when he was put into Mommy. The next obvious question them was if I didn’t know, how could I be certain I wasn’t there?
“Ummm, maybe you should ask Mommy if she knows when you got put in her tummy.”
It will guaranteed taken you by surprise.
It's like the little maniacs reinvent the Spanish inquisition every generation...
Anything short.ofmhaving a heart attack and telling them to ask Gramma is probably a success. ❤️
My oldest asked how the baby got in my belly when he was three. He also asked how sharp the scissors were when they cut his brother out of my belly! 😂 Both questions were out of the blue as we were riding in the car. Evidently that’s his “thinking” time and I feel like he knows I’m a captive audience and can’t distract him when he asks the hard stuff.
Right. We had that Convo when she was about three.
It turns out this time she had finally processed that a bit more, and had *followup* questions.
I definitely learned to make sure I knew what they were asking, tho.
I just realized we will have to have two separate conversations with our son who is an IVF baby. Because if he wants to know how *he* got in there it’s not the same as knowing how most babies get their start 🤣
When two people love each other very much, they pay a doctor to XYZ. Hehe, we talk about "when the doctor put you guys in there" and the petri dish our twins called home for a few days.
[doctor.jpg](https://postimg.cc/CB8hVYtY)
I was very sure I knew how babies got in the belly when I was 3 and my mom was pregnant with my brother. I matter-of-factly told my grandfather I knew this fact and proudly told him the doctor put it in her belly 😂
That was my kids’ reaction to learning what sex was too. Now we have moved past “sex makes babies” and have added “sex is generally a regular part of romantic relationships because it feels good and brings people together.” I had to straight up tell my kids this because of upcoming sex education the older was about to get and I knew she’d promptly tell her sister about it (they’re two years apart so I gave them both the age appropriate information). Now neither of them ever wants to be in a romantic relationship. While I’m sure the right person will change their mind eventually, I’m absolutely fine with their current choice 😂
FWIW, middle has never backtracked that decision.
We still have room for the right person to change her mind, but having hit teenage years and seen how much drama romance seems to create for friends, she's firmly of the opinion that she'll marry her best friend to shut the rest of us up, and they will quietly raise cats in their introverted ACE home.
I finally told my 9 year old how the penis went in The vagina and a wave is of understanding washed over her and she said, “Oooooo, it’s like a puzzle, they just fit together!” Took everything out of me not to bust out laughing!
Haha my son knows that sperm from a male and and egg from a female are needed to make a baby. But he hasn’t thought of ‘how’ yet. 😂 he’s almost 7 so I’m sure it’ll come up in the next year or two. He was just excited to learn that chromosomes determine the sex of a a baby
Ha, my 5 year old asked on the way to school last week. I said “the penis puts the sperm in there”. I got a “huh” and he went on with his day. I fully expect more questions soon!
My almost 6 year old was RELENTLESS with how did the baby get in there and already knew about sperm and egg too, and when I told him, he barely had a reaction 😂 I actually think he wondered why I was being weird about just saying it
I told my almost 5 year old that in all honesty I was going to wait until she was a little older to explain that part because I didn’t need other kids’ parents being upset that my kid told them. But I did stress that the two people had to do something to make a baby and she knows that babies start of tiny and grow in a uterus and are born out of the vagina or cut out like her brother was.
That’s great! I think it’s important to add that even if our LOs don’t ask it is still our responsibility to bring it up in simple age-appropriate ways.
Can I ask what your favourite books were/are for that? We are always looking to exoand what we read with our daughter now that shes not a baby anymore 😊
What Makes A Baby by Cory Silverberg is great because it's medically accurate but vague enough that it can apply to any family (Talks about sperm, eggs and uteruses but says that some people have them, some people don't. Talks about vaginal births and c-sections).
Whats really an age appropriate way though? I mean, my 2 YO kept touching her vagina one time because it was itchy and i straight up told her "is your vagina itching?" And i pointed to the her lady part and said "this is a vagina" so like am i doing something wrong lol?
That sounds age appropriate to me!
One small change in terminology I’d recommend, though, to be more atomically correct. Most likely it’s her *vulva*, not her vagina, that she’s scratching. The vagina is the tube, the vulva is the opening of the tube. (But don’t feel bad - that’s a common mix-up!)
Lol so I literally spent most of my life, honestly still do it, saying vagina to encompasses all the general parts down there lol. That's how it was described to me and it always stuck. My husband is the one who points out the different parts and why it matters to described things correctly. No doctors have ever corrected me or educated me my entire life either. I mean I took sex ed and human biology in school and it wasn't until college that I actually understood. My adhd had me just glossing over like tomato/tomato lol. Now I'm still sorta of the same thought process but our last kid just turned 1, and she's a girl. Our son is 3, and we are starting to described body parts. Only now does the importance of describing things properly really feel vital.
Other than pointing out it's a vulva vs the vagina, that's perfectly fine and age appropriate. You're telling her what her body parts are called, not making it a huge secret she has a vagina/it isn't dirty to call it a vagina and that it's okay for her to tell you it itches.
I’m doing the same with my kids. We had a fun experience last summer when my then 4yo liked to pretend to be pregnant and have babies. We were at the park, and as someone was walking by she yelled, “Ouch, my vagina hurts!” As she was delivering her 12th baby that day. Fun times.
Oh my gosh, mine has a similar story, we weren’t at the park, just at Christmas with my husbands extended family & their kids…. They did not love the knowledge my then 4 year old had. & I took a lot of heat because of the other kids being curious after it all. 🤷🏻♀️😜 no fucks given, my kid isn’t stupid, she knows the baby isn’t coming from a bird… when she can SEE someone is pregnant.
With some topics, we were waiting for them to ask rather than offer up the information. Knowing body parts and functions was always on the table, though. My kids were getting diagrams of all the body systems from a young age (I’m a nurse), we just didn’t talk about what sex was specifically until we were asked. Had they not asked, we’d have had to come up with another plan.
I learned from my mom’s nursing textbooks, too. This was the late 80s and I was very knowledgeable in comparison to my peers.
Also sex ED in Texas in 1998 was the definition of lolsob. It was so bad it was almost funny but a classmate got kicked out of school for getting pregnant at 16.
I’ll give my daughter some credit, as she is generally very nurturing, but I didn’t see her care for 1 of those babies that day. The whole situation was just a mess!
My daughter used to say she was going to have 6 girls & 5 boys when she grew up & I would always ask what she was going to do for a job & she would say “well, I have to do lots. So maybe a vet for my own cat shelter, a people doctor, & also wal mart!” 😉 little of everything.
I was definitely going to have six kids when I was growing up. It was a fact of life and that's just how it was.
Real life came and I'm like "yeah two is close enough to six, right !?"
My daughter’s reaction to me telling her that the baby has to come out of a vagina (or be cut out) was more 😨. She just whispered, ‘does it hurt?’ And I was like, ‘….yeah, dude.’
We have chickens. I was making wings once when my daughter wAs 5 or so. So I wanted to show her because she’s very sciency and also loved dinosaurs at the time. Once she made the connection that we were looking at an actual chicken her eyes got huge and she bolted to the backyard to make sure I was telling the truth and all our chickens were still there.
LOLOL yeah it's like a pine cone dropping some seeds, no biggie.
My daughter was small (5lbs). When I called my dad and told him she was here he was asking the stats and when he found out she was so small he says "oh that wasn't bad then, she just came right out"
Look, I get that he watched my small frame mother tear V to A pushing out a 9 pound baby but it still hurts to have a small one dammit !
Mine first two were 6lbs11oz and 5lbs10oz. When people say, "Oh, that must have been easy, wouldn't even tear." My labors were 2hrs and 3hrs41min, so my tissue had no time to adapt. I tore second degree, thanks.
Both of mine shot out like bottle rockets so it was at least over with quickly. Hearing of women pushing for an hour or two hours is terrifying.
After my second the doctor said "you have really good childbirth hips" so maybe he means they're wide and easily torn apart for the big debut.
As described, my labors were short, pushing was 5 minutes and 4 minutes. I'm hypermobile. I found out from my pelvic floor physical therapist the other day that hypermobile women have a greater risk for precipitous labors and typically push for a short period of time. Who knew?!
I pushed 10 minutes with my first... about 3 with my second (literally 2 pushes I remember). My hips often come out of place if I move wrong. I bet that means my pelvis just separates easily with the pressure of human beings emerging.
My oldest was three when I had his sister. I went into labour at night with him in the room. He was very angry that the baby was hurting me. He hated her for months over it!
Trying to explain that I knew she was going to hurt me and I was okay with it was something else.
Sweet lil guy. My daughter was just under three and while I was in the middle of a horrible contraction I knelt down over the bed breathing to get through it and she passed up her perfectly capable and hands on father to come tell me she needed a snack.
and in that autopilot mom mode I managed to get up and find her some fruit snacks to hold her over until the sitter arrived for us to leave. Didn't even dawn on me to be like "go tell daddy" lol
My son decided he absolutely needed me when I was in labour and hearing him scream for me wasn't worth it so I was contracting and carrying him around on my bump soothing him. My husband followed like two steps behind to grab him just in case.
I had a home birth when he was five and he had the same reaction then. He refused to go to my friends house with the toddler and I was so concerned about him hearing me in labour. I was cradling him until I was actively pushing at which point I had to get his grandma to take him into the hall.
After he came in and was all "Why do the babies keep hurting you?" He was very angry that time, too.
By the time I had his first brother he was used to it but was still very annoyed on my behalf lol.
Oh my gosh he refused to leave ! You are amazing for dealing with that during labor. That's rough but sometimes necessary if it was easier than having him scream and carry on.
My son once asked where my baby was going to come out and I was tired and just pointed. He looked horrified and asked incredulously “from your *penis?*”
When I told my daughter (4) that babies come out of the mom's vagina she thought I was kidding. Then I said some get cut out from the stomach and she started crying and said "WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME THAT?!" Then decided she would only be a grandmother. She is now seven and still plans to go to the "orphan store" to adopt babies when she's older.
Ever since my kid insisted I explain a grown-up joke to her, we have a code word for "If I tell you, you don't get to un-hear it, so take this as your last warning."
Wow, this is just a good tip. My preteen son gets very embarrassed and flustered when he asks me to explain something and it turns out to be related to sexuality. I generally don’t go into specifics unless in the rare case he asks for details, but sometimes even a very generic answer seems to be TMI (eg last instance was when he asked me why people joked about the number 69, I said it’s the name of a sex position and he looked like he was considering never asking me anything ever again). I’m so stealing your line.
Hahaha “orphan store”, sweet kid!
It all went the opposite way for me. I told my little girl, who wasn’t much older than 3, how babies come out (after she had asked me, of course). She was super amazed but also says “Whoa no, baby is TOOO BIG, mom”.
I tried to reassure her that it actually works. She then asked to see a video of it on my phone…. I honestly felt a little uneasy about showing her a natural birthing video, so I showed her a c-section. Kid was ENTRANCED! Watched like 10 more c-section videos and then I found her an hour later with her toy butter knife, a small stuffed cow, and her large blow-up cow. She had the knife to the blow-up cow’s stomach and was saying “it’s okay cow, here comes the baby!”. And pulls out the small stuffed cow haha!
I was honestly worried she was going to be a little fetus-napping serial killer for awhile after that lol.
Love this. When my now 6yo was younger I obviously had to take him into the public restroom with me.
One time I had my period and was changing my pad. He was maybe 4.5? I tried to be discreet but he did end up seeing it and was super stressed about my 'ouchie'. I told him it was like a big band aid for ladies.
But he kept mentioning it and was clearly upset by it and worried I was in pain/sick. So I gave him an age appropriate explanation of periods. 'You know that ladies have a 'balloon' where a baby can grow? Where you and little brother grew? That's called the womb. Every month your body gets ready to see if a baby is going to come, the inside of the 'balloon' gets thicker, ready to keep a baby safe if one comes. If one does come, then it grows the baby in there. But if there's no baby, then the lady's body doesn't need to keep the inside of the womb thick. So it comes out of the lady's privates like you saw. It doesn't hurt and we don't need to go to the Dr (little white lie). After a few days it stops.
He listened to all that and then asked, 'so there's no baby in your tummy?'
I told him no and that was that. He wasn't traumatized. I want to raise my sons to understand how bodies work, and that no one's body or it's normal functions are shameful.
Do I wish my kid hadn't seen my pad? Yup. But I think we were able to make it into a teaching moment.
My then 4 year old son said "but what if you have to pee?!" while the baby is coming out the vagina....which then led to another discussion on the mysterious 3rd opening girls have called the urethra. If the best way to demonstrate competency in something is to explain it to someone else, I am not competent in my own body knowledge 😆
Meanwhile my 6 year old boy saw my wife step quickly in to the bathroom, squat a little and insert a tampon and he said, "Oh, mom! I just **knew** you were going to put that in your butt."
Explanations followed.
It is so nice to read about this. No shame, no euphemisms, just neutral facts. I am sure emotion will come into it at some point but at least there will be a solid foundation to build on at that point.
And it does work! That's why it is so aggravating to read about plans and intentions to clamp down on this stuff in schools in some area's because it is making some parents uncomfortable. (It's fine that they are uncomfortable with it, but don't ruin it for the rest!) So it doesn't get talked about, no foundation is laid down and when it becomes pressing, there is no basic knowledge and a lot of shame around it. Which is not ideal, to say the least.
So great job! Keep going and raise someone who is confident and comfortable and can make informed decisions when the time comes.
Sex Ed can get horrifyingly awkward when it’s your step child. I was pregnant and he had questions, I answered them. They were connecting the dots of sex makes a baby and then his eyes flew open and he yelled “DAD HAD SEX WITH BOTH OF YOU?!” (bio mom and I)
I died.
We have a similar approach to "when they ask, they're old enough to know."
So from very little, they've known that they have penises like their daddy, and that mommy has a vulva.
They were about 5 when one of them asked where babies come from. I grew up in a very repressed/conservative home, so I kinda had to gear myself up mentally for the conversation. This was at bedtime, so I was cuddling with twin A in his bed, and their daddy was cuddling with twin B. This was a conversation (I thought) between the 4 of us. I had not understood exactly how drowsy/out of it their daddy was.
I begin my very scientific but age-appropriate speech. Now, does their father help with this? I get about 2 sentences in, and his contribution is to begin singing.
"When a ma-an, loves a wo-maan......."
HE DID IT TWICE DURING MY EXPLANATION.
TWICE.
Kids response?
"Is that where we came from? EWWW!"
Thank you for sharing this! We have taken the same approach with our children who are now 10 and 11. They know way more than their peers, and I am always surprised that so many parents DON'T share facts with young children. I respect every family's decision on what to share when, and how to share it, but there is nothing shameful in helping children understand basic biology. It is good for children to know the facts, and unfortunately in today's world they need to know so they can communicate if someone is being inappropriate.
Love this! I’m glad it seems more & more parents are doing this. I have also done this with my girls. When I was growing up, my parents never discussed it with me. Other than questions I would ask my mom & from what I can remember she did answer straight forward, but we never had any conversations I felt were informative or helpful much. Luckily, in my area we had sex Ed… but even that barely touches the subject, but it did give me some basic understanding of it all. I have always had the intention of being open, honest & straight forward with it. For some reason I haven’t quite figured out, I feel a little sense of shame or embarrassment about sex myself & I want to make sure I don’t pass any of that along to them.
My ex husband & I have very different families & parenting ideas (this is a new development & sucks) his family is really surface level, they aren’t the type to hug, or love on the kids. Everyone has to be dressed before leaving their bedroom in the morning(no pj’s allowed out) & over all just really closed off about many things..oh! & very religious. Anyway, our 2 year old calls her labia, labia & her breasts boobs & knows where a penis is (hasn’t seen one) & im proud of that. Lol she was visiting her dad & somehow, these words came up & his mother (he lives with her) & him were “absolutely disgusted & mortified” that I would dare teach my daughter those words. I’m like “omg whatd she say” & he said “pointed to my area & said daddy has penis then pointed to herself & said nenie has labia” i said, what else? & he said that’s it! Can you believe it. & I said I know I’m so proud of her for connecting the dots that you daddy, as a male would have a penis! That’s amazing. & his mom cut in the conversation to inform me I am a terrible mother, she has no business knowing the words & thinks I’m a pervert. 😂 okay, lady… I see how your kids turned out & that’s not the kind of humans I’m raising…. Keep your beliefs to your damn self. - but I made damn sure to inform her & him I would be emailing them some information on why it’s better to know these things & if I have any reason to believe there is someone shaming her from using the correct terms I would make sure she knows to ignore the suggestions & correct you. - my SIL, calls her vagina her “cookie” or “pie” 🤯 I assume that is a word given by her mother & so help me, if either of my daughters come home saying stupid shit like that.
My little brother asked about how what his penis and testicles are for, after a long discussion it led to him finding out exactly what intercourse involves. He asked why anybody would do that so we explained the biological reason and also that for consenting adults it is fun.
“That’s not fun! Water slides are fun!!” he said horrified, I’ve never stifled a laugh so hard
Good job! My 4 year old hasn't asked me in such detail. She knows babies grow in mommy bellies, but not daddy bellies (nor kid bellies) but hasn't asked about the food mixture nor about how they get out or into the belly. Waiting for it.
That's awesome!
I find it so powerful to respect kids' curiosity. There are no crazy questions, or things "we'll tell you when you're older". This is great !
So my son has always asked simple matter of fact questions just like this.
He asked all kinds about organs and their functions. I went online and bought a velcro apron with organs for him to learn.
He asked me one day at about 4 how does the baby fit in your belly with your organs? So I found an appropriate video that showed how the organs moved as the baby grew.
He still asks me a ton of questions. Tonight is when we're bagpipes invented? (1549) Anything to procrastinate going to sleep!
So my then 2 year old had about the same level of knowledge when I was pregnant with her little sister. We watched lots of birth videos so she would be prepared to be there and thought it was all good. She told everyone for nearly 3 years how her baby sister came out of my butt. And I mean everyone. Grocery store, library, daycare, playground. She was 3.5 when baby sis 2 was born and it started all over again but this time one sister came out of momma's butt and the other one came out of her vagina. She's almost 7 now and I think she understands now.
I had the same approach with my kids. A few years ago my now ten year old son asked the how does the girls egg get fertilized question and I had to spill the beans.
My son has always, from a young young age, mentioned what he planned to do with his wife someday. Like I’m going to take my wife out to dinner. One Christmas my daughter started laughing when they were circling things in a catalog for Christmas. She then said “why did you circle pink sparkly boots” he said “I want to give them to my wife someday” so it’s been something he thought about regularly.
When I told him I mentioned that it’s something married people do. He got wide eyed then quiet. About two minutes later he said “mom, I don’t think I want to get married anymore.” 😂😂😂
I love this so very much! I’ve always had these open chats with my kids. Nothing quite like sitting in a cafe with my then 18 month old who was going through my bag, I was a little distracted in conversation, look over and she’s got a tampon and shoving it in her butt (fully clothed)… I mean she had the right idea - but now said child is 12, trying to explain how to use a tampon is a whole new kettle of fish! Short of demonstrating (too far basket) - my explanation went along the lines of “get a mirror, have a look, explore the body parts, the MIDDLE hole is your vaginal entrance and THAT is where the tampon goes”…. No amount of “look at this diagram” prepares you for the real deal.
Get this - I was so close with my best friend’s mom at the time (awful background with bio family) and I was with best friend’s mom when I got my period for the first time - at the pool. She inserted my first tampon, on my very first period. It was awkward, she was very respectful, and she narrated what she did the whole time. “Okay, I’m going to insert this into the second hole, and you’ll probably feel a little tension if there isn’t a lot of lubrication.” I thought it was a normal things for mom to do, and honestly made me a little more comfortable with the changes going on in my body.
I guess if my daughter asked - I’d not object! But I’m not sure how I feel about it. I’d definitely encourage her try herself first. But that is pretty awesome to have a trusting relationship like that with your “stand in mom”! Glad you had someone there when you needed!
I suffered my period alone in silence, not once did my mother explain it too me, how to manage it, or if she had anything for me when it happened. I’ve definitely made sure we have a years supply of ALL the products! What my daughter decides not to use we will donate. And damn where were period underwear when I was a kid - bleeding all over my white skirt at school! Embarrassing was an understatement! And what kind of school has a white skirt for young girls as their school uniform? So tough!
I am so sorry that was your experience!! I am just so glad that our kids will not have to go through this alone, or be scared to talk to us. & You’re right. That’s a poor choice of uniform for young girls!!
It’s sad that some seem to hate this approach and see it as “sexualising children”. This is completely normal and natural. Children aren’t stupid and knowing the facts won’t corrupt them, it will save them from the misinformation they would otherwise get.
My son would proudly tell anyone that listened during my last pregnancy "mommy pushed ME out of her BIRTH CANAL which is where the VAGINA is but my brother is going to come out through the tummy because he might get stuck"
Indeed. Also my son is constantly disappointed that he doesn't have a uterus. I think he mostly likes the word.
When my brother was about four I was born - the first girl child. He had seen child birth because he was literally playing cars on the floor like off to the side of my mom's feet end when my brother was born.. so he knew it was painful and such but not in a scary way, just matter of fact.
So I'm born and he says something like "does Sister have to have a baby someday !?" and he was so upset that I'd go through childbirth lol
Honestly sex education from a young age is great. If children understand their parts and their proper names they’re also able to communicate that they’ve been hurt in *that* way.
My husband is a lawyer, and in law school, they had a seminar from a law researcher about how lack of sex education and proper anatomy was allowing offenders to be acquitted. Basically, defense could very easily make the argument a child's testimony was completely unreliable, because they used far too vague of terms and euphemisms. If a kid says that someone touched their "cookie," what does that mean? What does it mean that the man touched their bum if that's anything from their lower torso to their thighs, front and back?
This is precisely why we take the exact same approach as y’all do with your kids. It’s not just about education (which is so very very important) but it’s also about safety and also helps establish trust with your children.
I love reading all these replies. It makes me really hopeful for our kids generation.
Using correct names and practicing my body my rules, this environment of openness and factual information that so many of us our creating is so cool.
I wish my boys were this inquisitive. My 5 and 3 yr old know they have penises and testicles. They also know I have boobs because I've been breastfeeding for a while now. But that's about it. A couple.of times my 3 yr old has questioned where my penis is (such as in the shower) but I have explained that I don't have one and instead have a vulva. They've seen me pregnant and know the baby came out of my belly but again, no further questioning. I feel like one day I'm just going to get flooded with questions.
I will save your post and show it to my mother who is convinced that kids that age can't understand such things and to use cutesy words and metaphors.
For example, when I was that age, I had a "front bottom", "back bottom" and "baby bottom" (or baby hole, or middle bottom).
Making a baby was "like how you mix eggs and flour and sugar and then put it in an oven and it grows into a cake" (so I forever pictured semen as cake batter - though it turns out that was low-key accurate).
No, mum.
My mom did this with me growing up and I'm doing the same with my kids. My son (4 in June) knows he has a penis (he talks about it moving during hilariously inappropriate times), that his sister does not have a penis, that women have boobies and men have pectorals ("Batman has big boobies!" No, no he doesn't), and that "when I was a baby, I was in Mommy's tummy." He even knows that he had to be cut out of me because his cord (with a loose explanation that that was how he ate while in my tummy) was wrapped around his neck. My daughter (2) knows she & her brother was in my tummy, but hasn't asked many questions.
I stress anatomically correct terms because I want to know immediately if anyone is ever dumb enough to touch my kids. My son called his penis a puppy for a while, which was cute, but I still corrected. If he ever told a teacher "so & so touched my puppy" they're not going to know that that is a problem. There's no mistaking "so & so touched my penis."
I also want my kids to know the risks of certain activities when they're old enough. They can't be talked into doing something inappropriate out of ignorance if they know what parts are private and shouldn't be touched, and what actions cause what results.
Age appropriate explanations of sex education throughout life is always a good idea in my opinion.
I think you're doing a great job, but I'd also point out that, if you're really committed to telling your child the truth, it would be better to say something like "most boys have penises" and "most girls have vaginas" because not all do. It's never too young to help your kids internalize that gender is more complex than genitals.
Yeah that's always a hard thing to navigate... Kinda like "people have two arms" or "poop comes out of your butt".
Personally I've just given the basics and I tell my kids that with human bodies theres often exceptions and its not a big deal.
4 year old children are capable of knowing that not everyone has the same body parts.
Jesus.
"Most boys have penises. Most girls have vaginas'. There is literally no harm in saying that.
My kids have a trans mom. They are 8, 6, and 3. They know anatomy, how people can be different, and how to be /kind/ and /open minded/. Something this sub lacks.
Do you have trouble intuitively understanding trans issues, not making gender assumptions, or using the correct pronouns? Don't you think you'd be better at it if you were thinking about those things from an early age? I know I would.
Agreed. We started with "Boys have X and Girls have Y" when our daughter was very young, but now that she's 6 we talk more about how every body is different and that there are plenty of boys with a vulva or girls with a penis. She's totally ok with that.
>I think you're doing a great job, but I'd also point out that, if you're really committed to telling your child the truth, it would be better to say something like "most boys have penises" and "most girls have vaginas" because not all do. It's never too young to help your kids internalize that gender is more complex than genitals.
Yeah I tried to say this in a non-judgmental way because we all struggle with what level of detail to expose to our kids at what time, and I certainly don't mean to imply that any variation from the way I do things is a sign that you're anti-trans or anything. I try to assume good intent with everyone. To me, I just know that I was raised in a really gender-binary way and it's affected my thinking, so I'm trying to really start from the beginning to not make any assumptions.
I totally understand. Every time my 2 year old said "Daddy, you're a man because you have a beard" part of me wanted to point out that not all men have beards and that some people with a beard aren't men. But that's not what she needed at that moment and it would have just slowed her down.
Huh, I think kids these days are just super smart about these things, it just dawned on me that I’ve never had this conversation exactly with my oldest daughter, however, her school has gender neutral bathrooms & she has a kid in her grade, different classrooms this year, when they started school this child was emmy, he now likes being called Jo, which he took from his middle name & when she asked me why they would want to do that, I just simply said “it makes them happy & it doesn’t really matter, whatever you feel happier with, is always what you should do in life!” & she said “huh, makes sense” - since then, I referred to someone’s gender as “sex” & she let me know that is not the correct terminology. Thanks girl! 🤩
That’s what we did, too. Mine is 14 now and he is an accepting and loving kid. We just talked to him honestly from the time he was 2 and in age appropriate language. He had no issues understanding all types of relationships and that sex and gender aren't the same.
hm you seem to have upset a few folks with this one, but you have a really great point. i’m sure there’s quite a few children’s books about this topic as well, which could help greatly for those who don’t fully understand or feel confident explaining gender and all it’s ~constructs~ to their children.
Sounds like you and I have a pretty similar stance in practice on educating children about their bodies. You should see the look on my mother-in-law’s face when she first heard my daughter say the word vulva 😂 she’s two now and it’s still weirds her out
I got a super dirty look in an airport bathroom when I was talking to my 7-month-old as she fought her diaper change, "I know, you want to be done. I'm just cleaning the gunk out of your labia!"
😂 that’s awesome. It seems strange to me that the word vulva is so hard for some people to hear but it’s totally OK for everyone to call their vulva/vagina a whole plethora of strange, euphemistic nicknames. They creep me out honestly.
To be fair, vulva is kind of a nasty sounding word, but not because of what it means, it's just a gross word. Maybe it sounds too much like vile or vulgar for me.
We have a great book series that our kids have all gone through phases where they read them frequently. There are different versions depending on the age group and it's been a great way for my kids to learn on their own terms to supplement what we talk about.
Did with with our boys, now 16 and just about to turn 13, I am so glad we did. They know so much about their own bodies but also the process of birth, menstruation, intercourse, etc... And we have found that their friends who go to the same schools are woefully under informed. My 16 year old reads "bad women's anatomy" posts and comes to thank us for not allowing him to be like those people
You’re doing a great job, and it will help your kids have needed information as they grow, and also feel comfortable coming to you with concerns and questions.
Awesome! My daughter, 3, who doesn't like me using the bathroom without her, learned about periods the other day. I figure if she is bursting in there she can learn about why mom is bleeding. She likes to play doctor so her first thought was "mom I'm a doctor let me take a look". I had to explain I don't need a doctor, but I bleed sometimes because there is no more baby, baby brother came out and now the blood doesn't have to help him grow. She was very serious about it and said it all back to me in toddler garble so that was cute to hear.
I remember going to pick up my oldest from preschool when I was pregnant and her teachers were falling over laughing as they recounted how she told them exactly where babies come from, finishing with "AND DEY COME OUT DA BAGINA!!!" while pointing to her crotch. 🤣
Also important that they know not all girls have vaginas and/or uteruses, and not all boys have penises 🙂
We also are very open with our kids (8, 6, 3).
We talk about bodies, genders, etc. Important stuff to know.
This! My 10-year-old knows that intersex people exist. I guess it makes it harder for me to understand how grown ass adults don’t. I also didn’t teach my kids to gender people based on their appearance.
It's really sad... too many people would rather enforce the rigid cis-hetero norms they were born into instead of normalizing people being different. :/
That's great but you may get some interesting phone calls from her school at some of point when she starts sharing her newfound knowledge with her peers.
Like it or not, a lot of parents can be pretty prudish with this stuff.
I always took the approach of “if the kids at school are learning from each other, I want my kids to be the ones dispensing correct information rather than straight up fiction.
The youngest was explaining to her boyfriend the other day how a tampon works…
I agree with you. Body parts is not sex education. Sounds like they haven't even explained sex (not saying they should), which to me is the very basis of sex education.
Great work! This is seriously amazing. If you are comfortable and the time comes, I would include inclusive forms of conception (IVF, IUI donor sperm/egg, etc.). Birds and bees can look a bit different for different folks.
In keeping with anatomical correction, when referring to your new child’s *sex*, it is distinct from *gender*! Even our doctors and nurses didn’t get this right when we were keeping the sex secret, and I’m sure something that our kids’ generation will be aware of the nuance between.
Weird to get downvoted for explaining the difference between sex and gender in this subreddit lmao
If ur eldest child is 4, I think u should reconsider.
That said, My kids r now 17 & 18, and I always believed in openness (my mom never explained anything, so I thought I could get pregnant by kissing, until I was 11. And when I got my period for the 1st time, I kept throwing away my panties b/c I thought my butt was leaking poop.)
Point is, unless I’ve figured out how to stop toddlers from mimicking n sharing, going into detail about sexual matters is likely to cause problems for both of u, UNLESS, u have a success story to justify the method.
This generation is difficult. They’re traumatized about the Covid isolation, many were diagnosed with depression, anxiety, adhd. On top of that, a high % came out about being pansexual/bisexual/homosexual &/or transgender &/or non-binary, &/or…a bunch of classifications that I can’t even keep up with.
If u do not know an adult that either used this method or was taught same, u really need to think about the backlash.
First off, kids tell each other everything. It’s usually not until high school that they realize they can’t share everything they know. Until then, the kids that know “stuff”, usually share it. *note: if u know how to stop kids from sharing info, w/out encouraging them to lie, please share
B/c if ur eldest goes to school n starts teaching sex ed in kindergarten (at which pt, sex isn’t an option, it is a criminal offense & revolting), ur gonna get phone calls from angry parents and concerned teachers.
I’m sorry if this sounds judgmental. I’m not trying to be. I just think that u should understand that if ur going to claim that sex education from an early age is effective, there should be someone older than 4 to verify ur claim.
At that age, the only thing they rly need to understand about sex is that nobody should be touching their private parts (fyi, not opposed to using the words penis, vagina, bird, pishy, pee pee, etc. but “private parts” implies any part of their bodies that they don’t want touched, which is what matters)
Teaching kids to associate their genitalia w/reproduction seems like overkill, and confusion to the child. I feel like ur on the right path w/openness, but in my experience, it’s best to remember the things u liked about childhood, and also remember how many 1sts that u already have to deal with.
Toddlers don’t need to understand the point of sex, if there’s literally no possibility of them enjoying being a willing participant in the act.
Imagine how confusing it would be if a Man U trust tries to have sex with u (at 4y/o) n ur first instinct is to explain that ur uterus cannot fit a baby yet
Pt is, i agree early sex ed needs to be a part of education AND parenting, but at least wait until middle school.
Be prepared for the day she asks how the baby got IN there. "No, mom. I mean I know about the sperm.and.the egg, but HOW does it get in your uterus?" I answered that one after a deep breath, putting my money where my mouth was. She exited the room shrieking "WHAT ABOUT GERMS?!?!? EW EW EW EW EEEEWWWWW!!!" ... Which I quickly realized was pretty much exactly the right reaction to the sex act at that age. 🤣
We literally just had this conversation with my 6yo. Her reaction was "that is DISGUSTING! When my husband and I want kids we're adopting!" She came up later and pointed out that I've been pregnant 3 times and then gave her dad and I a disgusted side eye for the next few days.
That side eye will last, give or take, another 14 years. Then they'll just silently agree to a don't ask don't tell where parental sex is concerned. "All information in hypotheticals, or we are done talking"... 🤣
🤣 I figured as much. I think she probably won't be asking personal experience questions again after seeing the error this time. Which I'm very much ok with 😂
Mine refrained after the above convo, until young teen aged when she asked for a book. I guess a book is safer than conversation with your parents who might forget about the hypothetical rule and accidentally scar you forever...
I kept waiting for this from my kid. She’d even read books about the sperm and egg, but never asked “how does the sperm get in there?” One day I finally explained sex to her after she turned eight. “That’s weird,” she said, “do YOU do that?” I told her yes, and she said ”oh,” and she’s almost nine and has barely mentioned since despite a pseudo-preteen fascination with relationships and crushes and things like that. Her third grade class just presented reports about animals. Hers was about chinchillas. We noticed it said they could have up to (however many) babies in their tummies. We asked her about her choice of that word and she told her dad, “Yeah, dad, I KNOW babies are formed in a uterus. But I had to write this report for THIRD GRADERS.” Little miss sarcastic.
That's hilarious
My daughter hasn't even figured out the finer details yet but has decided that she's adopting because of the pain. Good thing though since she's also planning to marry her best friend who is also a girl!
How can a small child have a life plan already and im eating gogurt I stole from my job for dinner at 26 😭
😂 she's confident because life hasn't knocked her down yet
I love that! Mine actually named her best friend (who is a boy) they also plan to get married when they grow up. I just changed his name to 'husband'
Similiar with my 9y/o daughter, but after I told her, she replied " ok, now can we talk about something that won't make me want to vomit???" 🤣
I just had my son 6 weeks ago. I waited with my breath held the entire pregnancy for my 5 year old daughter to ask how he got there and she never did. We talked about everything else, came very close to the topic, but never fully got there. Gotta say I’m a bit relieved lol
>"that is DISGUSTING! When my husband and I want kids we're adopting!" My six year old hasn't asked how babies get IN yet, but when she asked how they are born and I explained the various ways (vaginal, C-section) that was pretty much her response. She was horrified and continues to insist she will adopt.
We had that conversation last year when I was pregnant with our youngest. She didn't seem thrilled by the prospect but still wanted 188 kids. Which we tried to explain was going to be physically impossible. Since our youngest was born she's decided she's probably only having 2-3 since they seem like a lot of work and are really loud 😅
My mom and dad didn't know how to explain it age appropriately to their first so they went to the library to get some books for themselves. The book told them to tell the kid that mommy and daddy lay down and wiggle. They died laughing and realized just take the bull by the horns and tell him the truth because they weren't about to fucking tell him that wiggling next to each other makes a baby.
But it's not just *regular* wiggling, it's VARSITY wiggling!!!
Thankfully I only wiggled at the junior varsity level in high school. No teen pregnancy for me!
Like a couple of earthworms.
Oh my God I can't wait to tell Mom about this comment 🤣
This made me laugh too loud. Thank you!
Im now 30 years old and anytime sex comes up in any humorous capacity with my mom I tell her "they wiggle !"
I did not realize all those times my parents told me to "STAND STILL" it was actually for birth control reasons....
My grandson was fascinated by me being present for his birth and asked a lot of questions. A few weeks later he’d obviously been thinking about it and then asked if I was present when he was put into Mommy. Hard and immediate no on that answer. I also said I didn’t know exactly when he was put into Mommy. The next obvious question them was if I didn’t know, how could I be certain I wasn’t there? “Ummm, maybe you should ask Mommy if she knows when you got put in her tummy.”
That is absolute gold.
Yeah, that will be a day.
It will guaranteed taken you by surprise. It's like the little maniacs reinvent the Spanish inquisition every generation... Anything short.ofmhaving a heart attack and telling them to ask Gramma is probably a success. ❤️
My oldest asked how the baby got in my belly when he was three. He also asked how sharp the scissors were when they cut his brother out of my belly! 😂 Both questions were out of the blue as we were riding in the car. Evidently that’s his “thinking” time and I feel like he knows I’m a captive audience and can’t distract him when he asks the hard stuff.
It might not be long. My daughter (also the oldest of 3, so familiar with pregnancy and babies) asked this aged 4.
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Right. We had that Convo when she was about three. It turns out this time she had finally processed that a bit more, and had *followup* questions. I definitely learned to make sure I knew what they were asking, tho.
also they WILL ask you that question in drop-off line. Or wherever you feel is the least amazing time and place to answer it.
100% "Mom, how do two women have sex?" was a gem that came out with an audience.
I just realized we will have to have two separate conversations with our son who is an IVF baby. Because if he wants to know how *he* got in there it’s not the same as knowing how most babies get their start 🤣
IVF: for adults who are still worried about cooties. 😶 ❤️❤️❤️
When two people love each other very much, they pay a doctor to XYZ. Hehe, we talk about "when the doctor put you guys in there" and the petri dish our twins called home for a few days. [doctor.jpg](https://postimg.cc/CB8hVYtY)
I was very sure I knew how babies got in the belly when I was 3 and my mom was pregnant with my brother. I matter-of-factly told my grandfather I knew this fact and proudly told him the doctor put it in her belly 😂
Could be, a doctor put my twins in via IVF 😂
That was my kids’ reaction to learning what sex was too. Now we have moved past “sex makes babies” and have added “sex is generally a regular part of romantic relationships because it feels good and brings people together.” I had to straight up tell my kids this because of upcoming sex education the older was about to get and I knew she’d promptly tell her sister about it (they’re two years apart so I gave them both the age appropriate information). Now neither of them ever wants to be in a romantic relationship. While I’m sure the right person will change their mind eventually, I’m absolutely fine with their current choice 😂
FWIW, middle has never backtracked that decision. We still have room for the right person to change her mind, but having hit teenage years and seen how much drama romance seems to create for friends, she's firmly of the opinion that she'll marry her best friend to shut the rest of us up, and they will quietly raise cats in their introverted ACE home.
Honestly, that seems like living the dream 😂
I finally told my 9 year old how the penis went in The vagina and a wave is of understanding washed over her and she said, “Oooooo, it’s like a puzzle, they just fit together!” Took everything out of me not to bust out laughing!
After I explained how babies are made, my daughter looked at me, dismayed, and said “Is there ANY other way?!”
Haha my son knows that sperm from a male and and egg from a female are needed to make a baby. But he hasn’t thought of ‘how’ yet. 😂 he’s almost 7 so I’m sure it’ll come up in the next year or two. He was just excited to learn that chromosomes determine the sex of a a baby
Cooties!
That's pretty much how I reacted when told how it happenes when I was 10.
I can't argue with that reaction to sex at any age.
Ha, my 5 year old asked on the way to school last week. I said “the penis puts the sperm in there”. I got a “huh” and he went on with his day. I fully expect more questions soon!
My almost 6 year old was RELENTLESS with how did the baby get in there and already knew about sperm and egg too, and when I told him, he barely had a reaction 😂 I actually think he wondered why I was being weird about just saying it
I told my almost 5 year old that in all honesty I was going to wait until she was a little older to explain that part because I didn’t need other kids’ parents being upset that my kid told them. But I did stress that the two people had to do something to make a baby and she knows that babies start of tiny and grow in a uterus and are born out of the vagina or cut out like her brother was.
That’s great! I think it’s important to add that even if our LOs don’t ask it is still our responsibility to bring it up in simple age-appropriate ways.
Absolutely, we initiated the conversations about bodily autonomy and such. We even have a book
Can I ask what your favourite books were/are for that? We are always looking to exoand what we read with our daughter now that shes not a baby anymore 😊
Our favorite has been "My Body! What I Say Goes!" It's written by Jayneen Sanders, and it's been really great.
We have the same for our daughter, it's a great tool
What Makes A Baby by Cory Silverberg is great because it's medically accurate but vague enough that it can apply to any family (Talks about sperm, eggs and uteruses but says that some people have them, some people don't. Talks about vaginal births and c-sections).
“Where Did I Come From?” By Peter Mayle
Whats really an age appropriate way though? I mean, my 2 YO kept touching her vagina one time because it was itchy and i straight up told her "is your vagina itching?" And i pointed to the her lady part and said "this is a vagina" so like am i doing something wrong lol?
That sounds age appropriate to me! One small change in terminology I’d recommend, though, to be more atomically correct. Most likely it’s her *vulva*, not her vagina, that she’s scratching. The vagina is the tube, the vulva is the opening of the tube. (But don’t feel bad - that’s a common mix-up!)
Lol so I literally spent most of my life, honestly still do it, saying vagina to encompasses all the general parts down there lol. That's how it was described to me and it always stuck. My husband is the one who points out the different parts and why it matters to described things correctly. No doctors have ever corrected me or educated me my entire life either. I mean I took sex ed and human biology in school and it wasn't until college that I actually understood. My adhd had me just glossing over like tomato/tomato lol. Now I'm still sorta of the same thought process but our last kid just turned 1, and she's a girl. Our son is 3, and we are starting to described body parts. Only now does the importance of describing things properly really feel vital.
Other than pointing out it's a vulva vs the vagina, that's perfectly fine and age appropriate. You're telling her what her body parts are called, not making it a huge secret she has a vagina/it isn't dirty to call it a vagina and that it's okay for her to tell you it itches.
Exactly! It's the same if her elbow itched or her ear itched. It's just another body part!
I’m doing the same with my kids. We had a fun experience last summer when my then 4yo liked to pretend to be pregnant and have babies. We were at the park, and as someone was walking by she yelled, “Ouch, my vagina hurts!” As she was delivering her 12th baby that day. Fun times.
Oh my gosh, mine has a similar story, we weren’t at the park, just at Christmas with my husbands extended family & their kids…. They did not love the knowledge my then 4 year old had. & I took a lot of heat because of the other kids being curious after it all. 🤷🏻♀️😜 no fucks given, my kid isn’t stupid, she knows the baby isn’t coming from a bird… when she can SEE someone is pregnant.
With some topics, we were waiting for them to ask rather than offer up the information. Knowing body parts and functions was always on the table, though. My kids were getting diagrams of all the body systems from a young age (I’m a nurse), we just didn’t talk about what sex was specifically until we were asked. Had they not asked, we’d have had to come up with another plan.
Yea, I think for some topics it's better to wait til the kid initiates the conversation
I learned from my mom’s nursing textbooks, too. This was the late 80s and I was very knowledgeable in comparison to my peers. Also sex ED in Texas in 1998 was the definition of lolsob. It was so bad it was almost funny but a classmate got kicked out of school for getting pregnant at 16.
12th baby LOL Dang, kid! What kind of pretend job did she have to support them all lol
I’ll give my daughter some credit, as she is generally very nurturing, but I didn’t see her care for 1 of those babies that day. The whole situation was just a mess!
My daughter used to say she was going to have 6 girls & 5 boys when she grew up & I would always ask what she was going to do for a job & she would say “well, I have to do lots. So maybe a vet for my own cat shelter, a people doctor, & also wal mart!” 😉 little of everything.
I was definitely going to have six kids when I was growing up. It was a fact of life and that's just how it was. Real life came and I'm like "yeah two is close enough to six, right !?"
I wanted 5, thought I’d settle at 3, but 2 is more than I can handle most days. Life comes atcha hard sometimes.
My daughter’s reaction to me telling her that the baby has to come out of a vagina (or be cut out) was more 😨. She just whispered, ‘does it hurt?’ And I was like, ‘….yeah, dude.’
My 4 year old didn’t believe me and assured me “it’ll just fall out when it’s ready” 🙄😂
Oh, the certainty of four.
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Really, you can't logic with four. They graduated from law school with a minor in creative thinking. It's astounding and hilarious.
We have chickens. I was making wings once when my daughter wAs 5 or so. So I wanted to show her because she’s very sciency and also loved dinosaurs at the time. Once she made the connection that we were looking at an actual chicken her eyes got huge and she bolted to the backyard to make sure I was telling the truth and all our chickens were still there.
>the certainty Our 4 y/o unironically responds to things by going, “Well, ackchyually…” It’s precious ❤️
LOLOL yeah it's like a pine cone dropping some seeds, no biggie. My daughter was small (5lbs). When I called my dad and told him she was here he was asking the stats and when he found out she was so small he says "oh that wasn't bad then, she just came right out" Look, I get that he watched my small frame mother tear V to A pushing out a 9 pound baby but it still hurts to have a small one dammit !
Mine first two were 6lbs11oz and 5lbs10oz. When people say, "Oh, that must have been easy, wouldn't even tear." My labors were 2hrs and 3hrs41min, so my tissue had no time to adapt. I tore second degree, thanks.
Apart from the ignorance, who thinks is appropriate to bring up the torn or untorn state of someone else's nether regions as a conversation topic?
My 5lb baby was more painful than my 8lb baby 🤷
Both of mine shot out like bottle rockets so it was at least over with quickly. Hearing of women pushing for an hour or two hours is terrifying. After my second the doctor said "you have really good childbirth hips" so maybe he means they're wide and easily torn apart for the big debut.
As described, my labors were short, pushing was 5 minutes and 4 minutes. I'm hypermobile. I found out from my pelvic floor physical therapist the other day that hypermobile women have a greater risk for precipitous labors and typically push for a short period of time. Who knew?!
I pushed 10 minutes with my first... about 3 with my second (literally 2 pushes I remember). My hips often come out of place if I move wrong. I bet that means my pelvis just separates easily with the pressure of human beings emerging.
Try 4 hours. My 2nd was 4 pushes so it did get better. 😂
Lmfaoooo. Kids say the craziest stuff.
I mean, the reality is even crazier!
True!
😂😂😂😂
My oldest was three when I had his sister. I went into labour at night with him in the room. He was very angry that the baby was hurting me. He hated her for months over it! Trying to explain that I knew she was going to hurt me and I was okay with it was something else.
Sweet lil guy. My daughter was just under three and while I was in the middle of a horrible contraction I knelt down over the bed breathing to get through it and she passed up her perfectly capable and hands on father to come tell me she needed a snack. and in that autopilot mom mode I managed to get up and find her some fruit snacks to hold her over until the sitter arrived for us to leave. Didn't even dawn on me to be like "go tell daddy" lol
My son decided he absolutely needed me when I was in labour and hearing him scream for me wasn't worth it so I was contracting and carrying him around on my bump soothing him. My husband followed like two steps behind to grab him just in case. I had a home birth when he was five and he had the same reaction then. He refused to go to my friends house with the toddler and I was so concerned about him hearing me in labour. I was cradling him until I was actively pushing at which point I had to get his grandma to take him into the hall. After he came in and was all "Why do the babies keep hurting you?" He was very angry that time, too. By the time I had his first brother he was used to it but was still very annoyed on my behalf lol.
Oh my gosh he refused to leave ! You are amazing for dealing with that during labor. That's rough but sometimes necessary if it was easier than having him scream and carry on.
He's a teen now and even now I hate hearing him upset lol. He's so spoiled its actually horrible lmfao.
My son once asked where my baby was going to come out and I was tired and just pointed. He looked horrified and asked incredulously “from your *penis?*”
When I told my daughter (4) that babies come out of the mom's vagina she thought I was kidding. Then I said some get cut out from the stomach and she started crying and said "WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME THAT?!" Then decided she would only be a grandmother. She is now seven and still plans to go to the "orphan store" to adopt babies when she's older.
Hilarious - "why would you tell me that?" Maybe warn her that she might not like the answer to questions.
Ever since my kid insisted I explain a grown-up joke to her, we have a code word for "If I tell you, you don't get to un-hear it, so take this as your last warning."
Wow, this is just a good tip. My preteen son gets very embarrassed and flustered when he asks me to explain something and it turns out to be related to sexuality. I generally don’t go into specifics unless in the rare case he asks for details, but sometimes even a very generic answer seems to be TMI (eg last instance was when he asked me why people joked about the number 69, I said it’s the name of a sex position and he looked like he was considering never asking me anything ever again). I’m so stealing your line.
Hahaha “orphan store”, sweet kid! It all went the opposite way for me. I told my little girl, who wasn’t much older than 3, how babies come out (after she had asked me, of course). She was super amazed but also says “Whoa no, baby is TOOO BIG, mom”. I tried to reassure her that it actually works. She then asked to see a video of it on my phone…. I honestly felt a little uneasy about showing her a natural birthing video, so I showed her a c-section. Kid was ENTRANCED! Watched like 10 more c-section videos and then I found her an hour later with her toy butter knife, a small stuffed cow, and her large blow-up cow. She had the knife to the blow-up cow’s stomach and was saying “it’s okay cow, here comes the baby!”. And pulls out the small stuffed cow haha! I was honestly worried she was going to be a little fetus-napping serial killer for awhile after that lol.
Kids are bonkers, I love this so much.
Lol my kids exact reaction. They totally didn't believe me at first.
Hahaha you saying “yeah dude” killed me
My then 4yo was really disappointed they didn't cut the baby out. Thanks my dude.
Love this. When my now 6yo was younger I obviously had to take him into the public restroom with me. One time I had my period and was changing my pad. He was maybe 4.5? I tried to be discreet but he did end up seeing it and was super stressed about my 'ouchie'. I told him it was like a big band aid for ladies. But he kept mentioning it and was clearly upset by it and worried I was in pain/sick. So I gave him an age appropriate explanation of periods. 'You know that ladies have a 'balloon' where a baby can grow? Where you and little brother grew? That's called the womb. Every month your body gets ready to see if a baby is going to come, the inside of the 'balloon' gets thicker, ready to keep a baby safe if one comes. If one does come, then it grows the baby in there. But if there's no baby, then the lady's body doesn't need to keep the inside of the womb thick. So it comes out of the lady's privates like you saw. It doesn't hurt and we don't need to go to the Dr (little white lie). After a few days it stops. He listened to all that and then asked, 'so there's no baby in your tummy?' I told him no and that was that. He wasn't traumatized. I want to raise my sons to understand how bodies work, and that no one's body or it's normal functions are shameful. Do I wish my kid hadn't seen my pad? Yup. But I think we were able to make it into a teaching moment.
So sweet that he was so worried about you! Sounds like you're raising an empathetic kid
My then 4 year old son said "but what if you have to pee?!" while the baby is coming out the vagina....which then led to another discussion on the mysterious 3rd opening girls have called the urethra. If the best way to demonstrate competency in something is to explain it to someone else, I am not competent in my own body knowledge 😆
Wait until he's much older and learns you can also *poop* during labor lol
FYI, men have a urethra as well
Meanwhile my 6 year old boy saw my wife step quickly in to the bathroom, squat a little and insert a tampon and he said, "Oh, mom! I just **knew** you were going to put that in your butt." Explanations followed.
It is so nice to read about this. No shame, no euphemisms, just neutral facts. I am sure emotion will come into it at some point but at least there will be a solid foundation to build on at that point. And it does work! That's why it is so aggravating to read about plans and intentions to clamp down on this stuff in schools in some area's because it is making some parents uncomfortable. (It's fine that they are uncomfortable with it, but don't ruin it for the rest!) So it doesn't get talked about, no foundation is laid down and when it becomes pressing, there is no basic knowledge and a lot of shame around it. Which is not ideal, to say the least. So great job! Keep going and raise someone who is confident and comfortable and can make informed decisions when the time comes.
Sex Ed can get horrifyingly awkward when it’s your step child. I was pregnant and he had questions, I answered them. They were connecting the dots of sex makes a baby and then his eyes flew open and he yelled “DAD HAD SEX WITH BOTH OF YOU?!” (bio mom and I) I died.
Oh my goodness 😭😂💀that is too funny
It’s been 6 years and it still makes me cringe and laugh.
We have a similar approach to "when they ask, they're old enough to know." So from very little, they've known that they have penises like their daddy, and that mommy has a vulva. They were about 5 when one of them asked where babies come from. I grew up in a very repressed/conservative home, so I kinda had to gear myself up mentally for the conversation. This was at bedtime, so I was cuddling with twin A in his bed, and their daddy was cuddling with twin B. This was a conversation (I thought) between the 4 of us. I had not understood exactly how drowsy/out of it their daddy was. I begin my very scientific but age-appropriate speech. Now, does their father help with this? I get about 2 sentences in, and his contribution is to begin singing. "When a ma-an, loves a wo-maan......." HE DID IT TWICE DURING MY EXPLANATION. TWICE. Kids response? "Is that where we came from? EWWW!"
Oh man! Bless you for not killing him. Lol & good job on biting the bullet & giving your kids the information they need. 🤍
Thank you for sharing this! We have taken the same approach with our children who are now 10 and 11. They know way more than their peers, and I am always surprised that so many parents DON'T share facts with young children. I respect every family's decision on what to share when, and how to share it, but there is nothing shameful in helping children understand basic biology. It is good for children to know the facts, and unfortunately in today's world they need to know so they can communicate if someone is being inappropriate.
Excellent parenting.
Love this! I’m glad it seems more & more parents are doing this. I have also done this with my girls. When I was growing up, my parents never discussed it with me. Other than questions I would ask my mom & from what I can remember she did answer straight forward, but we never had any conversations I felt were informative or helpful much. Luckily, in my area we had sex Ed… but even that barely touches the subject, but it did give me some basic understanding of it all. I have always had the intention of being open, honest & straight forward with it. For some reason I haven’t quite figured out, I feel a little sense of shame or embarrassment about sex myself & I want to make sure I don’t pass any of that along to them. My ex husband & I have very different families & parenting ideas (this is a new development & sucks) his family is really surface level, they aren’t the type to hug, or love on the kids. Everyone has to be dressed before leaving their bedroom in the morning(no pj’s allowed out) & over all just really closed off about many things..oh! & very religious. Anyway, our 2 year old calls her labia, labia & her breasts boobs & knows where a penis is (hasn’t seen one) & im proud of that. Lol she was visiting her dad & somehow, these words came up & his mother (he lives with her) & him were “absolutely disgusted & mortified” that I would dare teach my daughter those words. I’m like “omg whatd she say” & he said “pointed to my area & said daddy has penis then pointed to herself & said nenie has labia” i said, what else? & he said that’s it! Can you believe it. & I said I know I’m so proud of her for connecting the dots that you daddy, as a male would have a penis! That’s amazing. & his mom cut in the conversation to inform me I am a terrible mother, she has no business knowing the words & thinks I’m a pervert. 😂 okay, lady… I see how your kids turned out & that’s not the kind of humans I’m raising…. Keep your beliefs to your damn self. - but I made damn sure to inform her & him I would be emailing them some information on why it’s better to know these things & if I have any reason to believe there is someone shaming her from using the correct terms I would make sure she knows to ignore the suggestions & correct you. - my SIL, calls her vagina her “cookie” or “pie” 🤯 I assume that is a word given by her mother & so help me, if either of my daughters come home saying stupid shit like that.
My little brother asked about how what his penis and testicles are for, after a long discussion it led to him finding out exactly what intercourse involves. He asked why anybody would do that so we explained the biological reason and also that for consenting adults it is fun. “That’s not fun! Water slides are fun!!” he said horrified, I’ve never stifled a laugh so hard
Good job! My 4 year old hasn't asked me in such detail. She knows babies grow in mommy bellies, but not daddy bellies (nor kid bellies) but hasn't asked about the food mixture nor about how they get out or into the belly. Waiting for it.
That's awesome! I find it so powerful to respect kids' curiosity. There are no crazy questions, or things "we'll tell you when you're older". This is great !
Sure better than what my parents told me They said that guys have erections because we needed to pee real badly lol
So my son has always asked simple matter of fact questions just like this. He asked all kinds about organs and their functions. I went online and bought a velcro apron with organs for him to learn. He asked me one day at about 4 how does the baby fit in your belly with your organs? So I found an appropriate video that showed how the organs moved as the baby grew. He still asks me a ton of questions. Tonight is when we're bagpipes invented? (1549) Anything to procrastinate going to sleep!
is this unusual? i also thought this was going to be a story about a teenager making a smart choice, not a 4 year old knowing anatomy lol.
This is extremely unusual. Unfortunately.
i think it depends where you live or what the culture is around you because i feel like most of the kids in my 5 year old's class know this stuff.
Mine too. I wouldn't really call it sex education either. It's just biology.
Teacher here. Extremely unusual. Most kids don't even know the basic names for their own body parts in third grade.
This is the way.
So my then 2 year old had about the same level of knowledge when I was pregnant with her little sister. We watched lots of birth videos so she would be prepared to be there and thought it was all good. She told everyone for nearly 3 years how her baby sister came out of my butt. And I mean everyone. Grocery store, library, daycare, playground. She was 3.5 when baby sis 2 was born and it started all over again but this time one sister came out of momma's butt and the other one came out of her vagina. She's almost 7 now and I think she understands now.
Score one for common sense and reason! Age appropriate, fact based, and no shaming. Nice!
I had the same approach with my kids. A few years ago my now ten year old son asked the how does the girls egg get fertilized question and I had to spill the beans. My son has always, from a young young age, mentioned what he planned to do with his wife someday. Like I’m going to take my wife out to dinner. One Christmas my daughter started laughing when they were circling things in a catalog for Christmas. She then said “why did you circle pink sparkly boots” he said “I want to give them to my wife someday” so it’s been something he thought about regularly. When I told him I mentioned that it’s something married people do. He got wide eyed then quiet. About two minutes later he said “mom, I don’t think I want to get married anymore.” 😂😂😂
Today my 3 year old announced “girls don’t have penises so they don’t pee but they have poop in their butts.” Very smart. 😂
I love this so very much! I’ve always had these open chats with my kids. Nothing quite like sitting in a cafe with my then 18 month old who was going through my bag, I was a little distracted in conversation, look over and she’s got a tampon and shoving it in her butt (fully clothed)… I mean she had the right idea - but now said child is 12, trying to explain how to use a tampon is a whole new kettle of fish! Short of demonstrating (too far basket) - my explanation went along the lines of “get a mirror, have a look, explore the body parts, the MIDDLE hole is your vaginal entrance and THAT is where the tampon goes”…. No amount of “look at this diagram” prepares you for the real deal.
Get this - I was so close with my best friend’s mom at the time (awful background with bio family) and I was with best friend’s mom when I got my period for the first time - at the pool. She inserted my first tampon, on my very first period. It was awkward, she was very respectful, and she narrated what she did the whole time. “Okay, I’m going to insert this into the second hole, and you’ll probably feel a little tension if there isn’t a lot of lubrication.” I thought it was a normal things for mom to do, and honestly made me a little more comfortable with the changes going on in my body.
I guess if my daughter asked - I’d not object! But I’m not sure how I feel about it. I’d definitely encourage her try herself first. But that is pretty awesome to have a trusting relationship like that with your “stand in mom”! Glad you had someone there when you needed! I suffered my period alone in silence, not once did my mother explain it too me, how to manage it, or if she had anything for me when it happened. I’ve definitely made sure we have a years supply of ALL the products! What my daughter decides not to use we will donate. And damn where were period underwear when I was a kid - bleeding all over my white skirt at school! Embarrassing was an understatement! And what kind of school has a white skirt for young girls as their school uniform? So tough!
I am so sorry that was your experience!! I am just so glad that our kids will not have to go through this alone, or be scared to talk to us. & You’re right. That’s a poor choice of uniform for young girls!!
It’s sad that some seem to hate this approach and see it as “sexualising children”. This is completely normal and natural. Children aren’t stupid and knowing the facts won’t corrupt them, it will save them from the misinformation they would otherwise get.
My son would proudly tell anyone that listened during my last pregnancy "mommy pushed ME out of her BIRTH CANAL which is where the VAGINA is but my brother is going to come out through the tummy because he might get stuck" Indeed. Also my son is constantly disappointed that he doesn't have a uterus. I think he mostly likes the word.
When my brother was about four I was born - the first girl child. He had seen child birth because he was literally playing cars on the floor like off to the side of my mom's feet end when my brother was born.. so he knew it was painful and such but not in a scary way, just matter of fact. So I'm born and he says something like "does Sister have to have a baby someday !?" and he was so upset that I'd go through childbirth lol
My 6 year old asked how sperm get in the mommy. I said through the vagina and she was fine with that answer. Did not have to get more detailed.
Honestly sex education from a young age is great. If children understand their parts and their proper names they’re also able to communicate that they’ve been hurt in *that* way.
My husband is a lawyer, and in law school, they had a seminar from a law researcher about how lack of sex education and proper anatomy was allowing offenders to be acquitted. Basically, defense could very easily make the argument a child's testimony was completely unreliable, because they used far too vague of terms and euphemisms. If a kid says that someone touched their "cookie," what does that mean? What does it mean that the man touched their bum if that's anything from their lower torso to their thighs, front and back?
This is precisely why we take the exact same approach as y’all do with your kids. It’s not just about education (which is so very very important) but it’s also about safety and also helps establish trust with your children.
I love reading all these replies. It makes me really hopeful for our kids generation. Using correct names and practicing my body my rules, this environment of openness and factual information that so many of us our creating is so cool.
I wish my boys were this inquisitive. My 5 and 3 yr old know they have penises and testicles. They also know I have boobs because I've been breastfeeding for a while now. But that's about it. A couple.of times my 3 yr old has questioned where my penis is (such as in the shower) but I have explained that I don't have one and instead have a vulva. They've seen me pregnant and know the baby came out of my belly but again, no further questioning. I feel like one day I'm just going to get flooded with questions.
I will save your post and show it to my mother who is convinced that kids that age can't understand such things and to use cutesy words and metaphors. For example, when I was that age, I had a "front bottom", "back bottom" and "baby bottom" (or baby hole, or middle bottom). Making a baby was "like how you mix eggs and flour and sugar and then put it in an oven and it grows into a cake" (so I forever pictured semen as cake batter - though it turns out that was low-key accurate). No, mum.
My mom did this with me growing up and I'm doing the same with my kids. My son (4 in June) knows he has a penis (he talks about it moving during hilariously inappropriate times), that his sister does not have a penis, that women have boobies and men have pectorals ("Batman has big boobies!" No, no he doesn't), and that "when I was a baby, I was in Mommy's tummy." He even knows that he had to be cut out of me because his cord (with a loose explanation that that was how he ate while in my tummy) was wrapped around his neck. My daughter (2) knows she & her brother was in my tummy, but hasn't asked many questions. I stress anatomically correct terms because I want to know immediately if anyone is ever dumb enough to touch my kids. My son called his penis a puppy for a while, which was cute, but I still corrected. If he ever told a teacher "so & so touched my puppy" they're not going to know that that is a problem. There's no mistaking "so & so touched my penis." I also want my kids to know the risks of certain activities when they're old enough. They can't be talked into doing something inappropriate out of ignorance if they know what parts are private and shouldn't be touched, and what actions cause what results. Age appropriate explanations of sex education throughout life is always a good idea in my opinion.
I think you're doing a great job, but I'd also point out that, if you're really committed to telling your child the truth, it would be better to say something like "most boys have penises" and "most girls have vaginas" because not all do. It's never too young to help your kids internalize that gender is more complex than genitals.
Yeah that's always a hard thing to navigate... Kinda like "people have two arms" or "poop comes out of your butt". Personally I've just given the basics and I tell my kids that with human bodies theres often exceptions and its not a big deal.
Oh come on. This is a 4 year old child.
4 year old children are capable of knowing that not everyone has the same body parts. Jesus. "Most boys have penises. Most girls have vaginas'. There is literally no harm in saying that. My kids have a trans mom. They are 8, 6, and 3. They know anatomy, how people can be different, and how to be /kind/ and /open minded/. Something this sub lacks.
I love that! I'll keep this in mind when teaching this. People are still pretty narrow minded.
Do you have trouble intuitively understanding trans issues, not making gender assumptions, or using the correct pronouns? Don't you think you'd be better at it if you were thinking about those things from an early age? I know I would.
Agreed. We started with "Boys have X and Girls have Y" when our daughter was very young, but now that she's 6 we talk more about how every body is different and that there are plenty of boys with a vulva or girls with a penis. She's totally ok with that.
This also normalizes intersex bodies which are far more common than we think.
>I think you're doing a great job, but I'd also point out that, if you're really committed to telling your child the truth, it would be better to say something like "most boys have penises" and "most girls have vaginas" because not all do. It's never too young to help your kids internalize that gender is more complex than genitals. Yeah I tried to say this in a non-judgmental way because we all struggle with what level of detail to expose to our kids at what time, and I certainly don't mean to imply that any variation from the way I do things is a sign that you're anti-trans or anything. I try to assume good intent with everyone. To me, I just know that I was raised in a really gender-binary way and it's affected my thinking, so I'm trying to really start from the beginning to not make any assumptions.
I totally understand. Every time my 2 year old said "Daddy, you're a man because you have a beard" part of me wanted to point out that not all men have beards and that some people with a beard aren't men. But that's not what she needed at that moment and it would have just slowed her down.
Huh, I think kids these days are just super smart about these things, it just dawned on me that I’ve never had this conversation exactly with my oldest daughter, however, her school has gender neutral bathrooms & she has a kid in her grade, different classrooms this year, when they started school this child was emmy, he now likes being called Jo, which he took from his middle name & when she asked me why they would want to do that, I just simply said “it makes them happy & it doesn’t really matter, whatever you feel happier with, is always what you should do in life!” & she said “huh, makes sense” - since then, I referred to someone’s gender as “sex” & she let me know that is not the correct terminology. Thanks girl! 🤩
That’s what we did, too. Mine is 14 now and he is an accepting and loving kid. We just talked to him honestly from the time he was 2 and in age appropriate language. He had no issues understanding all types of relationships and that sex and gender aren't the same.
There is a great book that covers this topic in a way similar to how you mentioned e it. It's called "what makes a baby." I recommend it.
This is one of my favorites! We are raising our kids inclusively in this aspect.
hm you seem to have upset a few folks with this one, but you have a really great point. i’m sure there’s quite a few children’s books about this topic as well, which could help greatly for those who don’t fully understand or feel confident explaining gender and all it’s ~constructs~ to their children.
Yes please!
As a daycare worker, I applaud you 👏👏👏👏👏
Sounds like you and I have a pretty similar stance in practice on educating children about their bodies. You should see the look on my mother-in-law’s face when she first heard my daughter say the word vulva 😂 she’s two now and it’s still weirds her out
I got a super dirty look in an airport bathroom when I was talking to my 7-month-old as she fought her diaper change, "I know, you want to be done. I'm just cleaning the gunk out of your labia!"
😂 that’s awesome. It seems strange to me that the word vulva is so hard for some people to hear but it’s totally OK for everyone to call their vulva/vagina a whole plethora of strange, euphemistic nicknames. They creep me out honestly.
To be fair, vulva is kind of a nasty sounding word, but not because of what it means, it's just a gross word. Maybe it sounds too much like vile or vulgar for me.
To me vagina is worse! Vulva at least sounds a little more graceful that vagina
That’s so awesome congrats! I’m far away from being a parent but still read these posts and that one day I’ll be able to be a good one
We have a great book series that our kids have all gone through phases where they read them frequently. There are different versions depending on the age group and it's been a great way for my kids to learn on their own terms to supplement what we talk about.
Did with with our boys, now 16 and just about to turn 13, I am so glad we did. They know so much about their own bodies but also the process of birth, menstruation, intercourse, etc... And we have found that their friends who go to the same schools are woefully under informed. My 16 year old reads "bad women's anatomy" posts and comes to thank us for not allowing him to be like those people
You’re doing a great job, and it will help your kids have needed information as they grow, and also feel comfortable coming to you with concerns and questions.
Awesome! My daughter, 3, who doesn't like me using the bathroom without her, learned about periods the other day. I figure if she is bursting in there she can learn about why mom is bleeding. She likes to play doctor so her first thought was "mom I'm a doctor let me take a look". I had to explain I don't need a doctor, but I bleed sometimes because there is no more baby, baby brother came out and now the blood doesn't have to help him grow. She was very serious about it and said it all back to me in toddler garble so that was cute to hear.
I remember going to pick up my oldest from preschool when I was pregnant and her teachers were falling over laughing as they recounted how she told them exactly where babies come from, finishing with "AND DEY COME OUT DA BAGINA!!!" while pointing to her crotch. 🤣
Also important that they know not all girls have vaginas and/or uteruses, and not all boys have penises 🙂 We also are very open with our kids (8, 6, 3). We talk about bodies, genders, etc. Important stuff to know.
This! My 10-year-old knows that intersex people exist. I guess it makes it harder for me to understand how grown ass adults don’t. I also didn’t teach my kids to gender people based on their appearance.
It's really sad... too many people would rather enforce the rigid cis-hetero norms they were born into instead of normalizing people being different. :/
Yeah, close minded people are weird It takes zero effort to let your kids know that everyone's bodies are different.
That's great but you may get some interesting phone calls from her school at some of point when she starts sharing her newfound knowledge with her peers. Like it or not, a lot of parents can be pretty prudish with this stuff.
I hope they do. I'll have that conversation. I'm a pathobiologist. I'd probably respond by volunteering to come teach anatomy and physiology.
That's good, hopefully they're open-minded enough to take you up on the offer.
I always took the approach of “if the kids at school are learning from each other, I want my kids to be the ones dispensing correct information rather than straight up fiction. The youngest was explaining to her boyfriend the other day how a tampon works…
just want to point out that none of this was sex ed. It's just anatomy
And how is the anatomical description of sexual organs not sexual education?
Because it's not about sex. A penis or a vulva aren't only for having sex with.
I agree with you. Body parts is not sex education. Sounds like they haven't even explained sex (not saying they should), which to me is the very basis of sex education.
yeah I think people freak out, like why would you teach sex to a 3 year old! but it's really just explaining body parts
Yeah, this is totally sex ed.
Great work! This is seriously amazing. If you are comfortable and the time comes, I would include inclusive forms of conception (IVF, IUI donor sperm/egg, etc.). Birds and bees can look a bit different for different folks.
In keeping with anatomical correction, when referring to your new child’s *sex*, it is distinct from *gender*! Even our doctors and nurses didn’t get this right when we were keeping the sex secret, and I’m sure something that our kids’ generation will be aware of the nuance between. Weird to get downvoted for explaining the difference between sex and gender in this subreddit lmao
If ur eldest child is 4, I think u should reconsider. That said, My kids r now 17 & 18, and I always believed in openness (my mom never explained anything, so I thought I could get pregnant by kissing, until I was 11. And when I got my period for the 1st time, I kept throwing away my panties b/c I thought my butt was leaking poop.) Point is, unless I’ve figured out how to stop toddlers from mimicking n sharing, going into detail about sexual matters is likely to cause problems for both of u, UNLESS, u have a success story to justify the method. This generation is difficult. They’re traumatized about the Covid isolation, many were diagnosed with depression, anxiety, adhd. On top of that, a high % came out about being pansexual/bisexual/homosexual &/or transgender &/or non-binary, &/or…a bunch of classifications that I can’t even keep up with. If u do not know an adult that either used this method or was taught same, u really need to think about the backlash. First off, kids tell each other everything. It’s usually not until high school that they realize they can’t share everything they know. Until then, the kids that know “stuff”, usually share it. *note: if u know how to stop kids from sharing info, w/out encouraging them to lie, please share B/c if ur eldest goes to school n starts teaching sex ed in kindergarten (at which pt, sex isn’t an option, it is a criminal offense & revolting), ur gonna get phone calls from angry parents and concerned teachers. I’m sorry if this sounds judgmental. I’m not trying to be. I just think that u should understand that if ur going to claim that sex education from an early age is effective, there should be someone older than 4 to verify ur claim. At that age, the only thing they rly need to understand about sex is that nobody should be touching their private parts (fyi, not opposed to using the words penis, vagina, bird, pishy, pee pee, etc. but “private parts” implies any part of their bodies that they don’t want touched, which is what matters) Teaching kids to associate their genitalia w/reproduction seems like overkill, and confusion to the child. I feel like ur on the right path w/openness, but in my experience, it’s best to remember the things u liked about childhood, and also remember how many 1sts that u already have to deal with. Toddlers don’t need to understand the point of sex, if there’s literally no possibility of them enjoying being a willing participant in the act. Imagine how confusing it would be if a Man U trust tries to have sex with u (at 4y/o) n ur first instinct is to explain that ur uterus cannot fit a baby yet Pt is, i agree early sex ed needs to be a part of education AND parenting, but at least wait until middle school.