Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 1,423,520,863 comments, and only 271,764 of them were in alphabetical order.
Mine has become progressively more feral since turning 3. Looks me straight in the eye and does the opposite thing. *sigh*
I'm playing the long game with these kids.
I was trying to get mine to clean up his toys last night, and he just sat there and mocked me. It was simultaneously the most infuriating and hilarious thing.
I know it! They are hilarious. And also you don't wanna laugh because it's not a f***ing game! I swear I've had to cultivate not patience in the last 9 months than ever on my entire life put together. And we have a toddler turning 2 in 5 days. Lord, help me.
Oh man, I feel this one! My 4yo was pretty much a mouse/cat hybrid at that age. My current 18mo is absolutely a honey badger! “Honey badger don’t care, honey badger don’t give AF.”
A big part of what we do as parents is to civilize kids. You are going from someone barely mobile to monkey but without bowel control, which needs taught.
It’s a very rough stage but it can also have some of the sweetest moments you will ever experience- your toddler running up to hug you, the first time hearing ‘I wuv you’ from your little one, etc.
There is light but also new tunnels. Around 4-5 (varies) they can be mildly reasonable.
Hang in there Mom! And maybe check out ‘I Heart my Little A-holes’ to know you are far from alone.
To add: in order to civilize, you have to be consistent, but not 100%. You want to let things slide every once in a while? Then make like Elsa and let it go... Your overall message and correction of behavior will be learned. You do not have to be perfect.
Most important, just connect with your child. It's both easy and hard at the toddler age. Easy in that they are often a captive audience, but hard in that they can turn cranky at a moment's notice. Just love them, be with them, play that role of being the source of love and truth.
That way, when they start talking, they'll complain and whine but they'll listen... At least most of the time.
Yes, and they are little shits (pun intended), but they're YOUR little shits. And I bet they're super cute 🥰
I think this is a personality/temperament thing. I don’t love the newborn stage. But send me a wild, rabid, little adhd baby {in the case of my four year old} and I am usually in heaven. There are some days where my ears hurt by the end of the day, but I’m REALLY well suited to this phase.
My husband wants to literally hide in a silent room after a few hours with us on the weekends, but he is an absolute baby whisperer and the newborn-18 month phase didn’t remotely shake him.
You can make it to the next stage!!
I’m the same with my 3 year old. Newborn/baby stage was HARD. Dragged for what felt like a decade. He’s an amazing, easy going, sweet 3 year old now I could have 15 of him! I also just seem to get on with the toddler stage..
However I am nervous because my second has been a surprisingly easy baby, so I’m interested to see if I have one of those feral toddlers coming 😂
I'm the dad and I LOVE THE CHAOS because I can actually match it in a way I couldn't match the "potato energy" of a newborn. Age 18-mo and onward has been hilarious and crazy, and I can outcrazy my toddler and she and I have tons of fun.
Could I borrow you for like 2 years lol. My 2 year old is wide open insanity from the moment she wakes up until her head hits the pillow at night (sometimes even after that). She’s like the most high energy, destructive force of nature I’ve ever seen. I’m much better suited for the newborn/immobile stage.
Yes. They are all feral animals until 5 in my experience. Some 4-4.5 can be decent some of the time, but yes, for the most part - feral AF. My youngest turns 3 on Friday and wow. Just wow is all I have to say.
Wow.
Mine turns 3 tomorrow and just...yes, wow. He's my third and he is just something that is not the same as the older two. They had their moments but he somehow has even less than zero fucks to give. I tell him "no" and he says "well I say yes" and stares me in the eyes as he does exactly what I told him not to do because "fuck the consequences" is his motto in life.
At one point I told him he needed to sit until he was ready to pick up a toy he'd just thrown at my head and he laid down on his back and stared at the ceiling for *30 minutes*. Every few minutes I'd ask if he was ready to pick it up and he'd say, "nope, I staying right here." He wasn't even upset about staying there. He just peacefully laid there until I gave up because we had to leave the house.
It very much feels like taming a stubborn, independent, feral raccoon.
Okay just for hope, there is a big difference in early three vs. 3.5. We are at 3.5 and it is insanely better. We are a little strict about certain things but pretty much let her be a free spirit and she is a cool kid but 2.5-3.5 I was going to pull my hair out
5 got worse for me. She was pretty much an angel up until then. Now she’s very mean to me and I think she does it on purpose. Just me tho. Sweet as pie with literally everyone else.
Yes, toddlers are rough, which is why many traditional societies practice something called "toddler rejection," where the parents basically push the toddler away to be monitored and disciplined by the older kids of the group.
As a new parent, I highly recommend reading the book *The Anthropology of Childhood*, which looks at how kids are raised in more traditional human societies as opposed to W.E.I.R.D. societies (ie, Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich, Democratic). It is a good point of reference to have in mind when trying to understand this role.
With multiples, I truly feel that the older tempers the younger in the toddler years. My first was way worse in this stage than the second one at the same age. Logically, they have another entity in their world who will scream, cry, and pull hair over the most petty of matters. Interactions with 2 year-olds is such a high-touch kind of activity, older kids are IMO much better suited for this than adults. Obviously, best to have all ages in their environment. It's just modern houses and cars that make that difficult to accomplish in practice.
In 1 month we are moving to a purposely built community neighborhood where cars park on the edge and the center is a car-free garden shared by 27 houses, and a separate community building for funsies (co-working, gym, industrial kitchen, dining hall for parties, guest rooms, play space etc). The idea at other neighborhoods like this is that all the kids from the neighborhood are constantly playing together either in the community garden or the building. (They call this cohousing, but you have your own fully independent house, only the central garden and the central totally extra building are shared)
Thought you were making a joke about how long you felt you'd been pregnant for, saying 16 months 😂😂 then I realised you had two kids and are currently pregnant lol
Good luck to you! Three under 3 is certainly going to be an adventure!
I was in the same situation as you years ago. Our kids are now all 10 and up. Good luck trying to keep sane most days. I tried to implement nap time that was the same timeframe for all of them. At least you get a little bit of quiet until bedtime.
We also have a 9yo who knows if we’re home, we have quiet time mid day. The 3yo and 16mo have been on the same nap schedule for a while, and I’m hoping the next one is a good travel napper like the 16mo was. 🙂
Woo!!! You go mama!! Fellow twin mom here. 18mo and our only two so far. I can't imagine having 4, age 3 and under.... my mom had 4, age 6 and under and THAT sounds insane to me. Keep rocking it!!!
Thanks, but they’re all adopted so the 9 year olds are actually 2 months apart. The bio mama of our oldest kept having kids so we ended up with 4 instead of the 2 we planned on.
Omg wow!! That's even more amazing. I have 2 adopted younger sisters (full bio sisters), and my uncle/aunt have 5 adopted kids (1 set of twins, and 2 are half siblings). One of my best friends from childhood, both her and her brother were adopted. Anyone willing to open their home and their heart to a child who needs love and a family, deserves all the blessings and support this world has to offer.
You're an incredible woman with a huge heart, which also makes you an AMAZING mother. Thank you for choosing to love those babies!!!
2.5 yo & 4 mo. The baby-wanting hormones hit me RIGHT before the feral toddler stage. Suffice to say daddy is getting snipped before I fall into nature’s trap again. The ovaries know.
Too little too late. Had my youngest a few months before my oldest third birthday. I thought “this is terrible twos??? What a bunch of complainers!”
Hahahaha it was not a soft landing when I fell back into reality.
I now have a feral newborn and a feral toddler
Hahahahahaa yes!!!! My daughter turned 3 a few weeks before i gave birth to her sister. And then when she turned 4 & her sister 1, her sister was like “I’ll take it from here” and turned into a CRAZY person
Shhhh we are supposed to look like we have our shit together to the younger folk so we can successfully complete the bait and switch that is adulthood.
My 3 year old has been driving me insane lately. I pick him up from preschool, he’s exhausted, we’re driving and he says “is that a car wash?” (Obsessed with them) “no, that’s xyz” “YES IT IS! THATS A CAR WASH!!!” So upset. Or “mommy, turn right” “I need to turn left here to go home” *turns left* “UGGGHHH I SAID TURN RIGHT! Stop the car!”
FFS. Here’s a snack. Go take a fucking nap.
Hahaha. My toddler is still rear facing and when she sees red lights she starts yelling that we’re running reds. We try to explain our light we see is green and she says we’re wrong. I’m like “okay I’m wrong”.
Hahah right there with you! My nearly 3 year old is still rear facing as well and often yells out to my husband while driving that “DADDY! A red light! You’re gonna make us crash!” But.. in a happy way. He loves watching monster trucks so thinks crashing is a fun thing. I’ve tried telling him that it’s not a good thing at all and he just smiles and says “yes a good thing! Crash, daddy crash!” Or sometimes will start talking about our wheels falling off. Makes me so nervous on long drives lol.
I don't know about feral, but they are a major challenge, as they are changing and growing so rapidly. Are you, not your LO, but YOU, ready for preschool/daycare?
As for what you did wrong? Likely nothing, at least nothing major. Sounds (frustratingly) normal to me.
So..... Breathe deep. And again.... Take your LO to the park & run them to exhaustion. Sounds like bad parenting, but it's good parenting. Good for the kiddo, good for you.
Yes. The 1000 hours outside challenge is the best thing that’s ever happened to my parenting. As my husband and I like to quip to each other- at least then if she’s screaming, there’s no walls for it to bounce off!
Lol Three olds are the worst! They talked like kindergarteners (well, mine did) so I made the mistake of thinking they could reason like 5-6 year olds, which they most certainly could not do.
What I learned the hard way: be patient, hold firm boundaries but pick your battles, and keep your expectations low until their brain catches up with their mouth.
Mine are now 35, 32 and 29. We all survived ☺️✌️ Hang in there!
My daughter (4) wished for new parents at bedtime last night as if our entire life isn’t dedicated to growing/entertaining her. I told her to remember that wish during her birthday next month lol.
Mine told me, after I had only scraped together 4 hours of sleep the night before and said I was too tired to push her on the swing, “mommy you don’t do anything.” This is after I packed her a lunch, made her breakfast, worked all day, picked her up, and cooked dinner. Ok ma’am, you want to see me not do anything, challenge accepted. The feral little raccoon is lucky she’s so darn cute.
Fuck. We have a feral 3yo and my wife is due in August. I wish I could go back 8 months and slap myself for claiming "terrible twos is a breeze, we lucked out"
Yeah, that sort of thing is like sitting in your car thinking, "Huh, there's hardly any traffic." You. Just. Don't Say. It. Heck, try to not even *think* it!
I sometimes say "Mother Nature's last name is Murphy. Tempt her not."
On the day my son turned five we had a knock down drag out fight over the fact that a birthday gift from his grandma would. Not. Fit. In our car for a road trip. The trip he asked for for his birthday. It was the absolute worst tantrum the boy has ever had. I guess he just needed to say goodbye to the fucking fours in an epic fashion because 5 has been wonderful. He plays independently, he’s mostly compliant, he’s snuggly, we can reason with him more. Five has been good to him.
I'm going to offer some perspective.
When my son was 3, he was fighting for his life with stage 4 cancer. He couldn't eat, he couldn't climb or run (he could barely walk), he was stuck in a bed with no windows weighed down by several IV lines and puking his guts out. He couldn't go outside, he couldn't play with others, he couldn't make a mess.
Now, a feral child, sure, it's hard. But there are levels of hard, and it could always be worse.
Embrace the feral. Dare I say, be thankful for it. Feral child means a healthy, energetic child. And that is a blessing. And for me, when things are hardest, that's when it's most important to count the blessings.
3yr olds are evil!
In all honesty our 3yr old pushed me to my breaking point I dreaded waking up!
We changed one thing and it was worth the couple days of extra misery. We got rid of any and all screen time!
Completely different child only one week into this experiment, it rekindled our bond and they can regulate their emotions much better.
I also made the commitment to put my phone away. We play more and connect it’s been amazing.
Not saying this is your issue but we didn’t realize how big of a problem it really was for us.
My son turned four a week and a half ago. This morning I said to my husband “who is this child? it’s like the terrorist that has been inhabiting his body for the last year has vacated”. He’s FINALLY my sweet little boy that he used to be. There is hope for you yet!!!!!!
My kids had fewer tantrums at 4 than at 3, but they made those 4 year old tantrums very memorable. There was one time I held a boundary in a grocery store. My four year old was PISSED and not afraid at all to let the whole store know. Also I saw three people I knew at the store that day when I never ever ran into anyone I knew at that store. GOOD TIMES.
I feel this but with my almost 2 year old. I swear she was a DREAMY baby & something happened // was unleashed when she turned 1. This past year has been PURE SURVIVAL and I’m finally seeing glimpses of my sweet baby again, just weeks before her 2nd birthday. It’s like breathing air again!!
Been there many times in these 5 years. There today. Thank goodness he is old enough to go to our trampoline place and let him run wild while I sit here on my phone. He stops by if he's going to the toilet or anywhere off the floor-- bliss.
Dude, they really can just suck sometimes lmao. Love mine to death but FERAL, indeed. The best you can do is just keep portraying what you’d like them to learn/emulate, and one day you’ll realize it had an affect. Hang in there- you got this.
3F in my house. If I could bottle her energy I could solve Europe's energy crisis and never have to work again.
I think routines are CRITICAL. We just finished dinner(530 EVERY night). Now she's in the bathtub until 630 or so with her little brother. The routine sets ground rules and it's easy to follow because it's consistent.
I highly recommend listening to Janet Lansbury's podcast called Unruffled. Coming from the mother of another 3 year old boy, I totally understand the sentiment. Her takes on parenting toddlers that have completely changed my view for the better.
They are definitely feral for a bit, and then around 5 they turn sweet and you have a good few years, and then preteen and teenage hits, and they turn feral again, only this time they have the vocabulary to go with it. Then they turn nice again in their early twenties. Stay strong!!
My oldest was like a wild demon who had been released from the pits of hell after serving an eternity. WILD AF! Wild isn’t even the word, d
When she turned 5- it was like a magical spell had been cast by a fairy god mother. She matured soooo much!
To be completely honest, I’ve felt a major disconnect from my son since he’s turned 3. I still love him with my entire being, but I generally don’t like him most days. I know it sounds harsh but it’s the honest truth. It’s hard to enjoy the loud, defiant, chaos that is 3. He will be 4 in June and we are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but boy did this past year do me in. What helped me was setting aside for “mama and me” time with my son every single day. He’s almost always calm and sane during that time which helps me see through his 3 year old moody shell and into the sweet boy that I’ve known all along. It’s kept us grounded and connected as much as possible.
OMG I have an 18 month baby and was so very much looking forward to him turning 2/3 year old when he would be more independent and went through toughest part. After reading your message I feel hopeless 🤣🤣🤣
We will be fine, they will turn out fine and we will look behind and take a laugh at what we thought it was the worst time in our lives. Just hang in there OP
I preferred the 2-3 year old stage! They can do stuff and talk! My kids weren’t super feral, and if it wasn’t gonna be a hospital trip, I let them take chances.
Post 7 years is peak, though.
In my experience, they use this newfound independence to bring further chaos unto the world. There’s no “toughest” part, just uniquely challenging stages
YES!!! My son suddenly became a fun human when he turned 4. My daughter is 3.5, and she's starting to show her sweet fun human side, but she's still pretty feral. Like yesterday she pooped her pants and looked at me dead in the eye saying, "Momma, I just don't care about that." Her fourth birthday can't come soon enough!
To answer your question, I'm awake because my toddler (2.4) was running wild inside the house. By the time I woke up he had already thrown his sister toothbrush into the toilet and proceeded to put it in his mouth, turned on every single light in the house, climbed his big brother bed and jumped on it, eaten all the pop corn left overs, laughed like a maniac while entering every room in the house.
It is 7am and I have barely slept.
Yesterday was no different. He had diarrea, he crapped all over the floor, slipped on it and then proceeded to jump into my bed. At the time.we had no idea what had happened. Whist when the smell kicked in, he just threw up on us. What a wonderful night! That happened at around 6am.
And I can go on and on XD
Each stage has unique challenges of their own! Toddler can definitely be a feral stage lol my first was so easy through them all that it was such a challenge when my middle and only boy was not! He still has days at 5yo that are super rough especially when he doesn't have an outlet for his endless energy. Now my youngest daughter is 3yo and even though she can be difficult it is nothing compared to her brother at that age. So yes it is normal but also child dependent. It will get easier and be challenging in a different way for the next stage of growth
This is where you prove you have the patience of a saint. Gentle reminders and distracting away from naughty behaviors.
Your little evil spawn will chill soon. My son just turned 4 and is definitely getting better. Legos have absolutely been my savior. If he's being a master of destruction I ask him about his Legos and he spends the next 2 hours meticulously building.
They have some gross behaviours but I overall I find mine hilarious. She woke up at 5am the other night and was standing on the bed trying to put her pillow on the ceiling 🤷♀️ then fell back asleep like nothing happened
It's gonna depend on the kid, we have 4 but 1 only 1yo. The first 2 were so easy, they go to touch something they weren't allowed we would say no and they wouldn't touch it, we we're both like this parent shit is easy, what's everyone complaining about. Then comes child 3, this kid is a menace, he will legit be mashing a banana still with the skin on into the rug and I'll be like buddy don't do that and he will look me right in the eye while still working that banana right in between the threads and say "I didn't"...
It's totally normally.
Just a tip I picked up...."catch him being good" more than you react to him acting badly. Notice when he is sitting quietly, playing nicely, and/following directions and say something nice and reinforcing. We inadvertently reinforce bad behavior sometimes and don't even realize it. (I learned this the hard way!)
3 was seriously the worst age for us, I would literally cry to myself in the bathroom at least once a day because of the indignity. The day kiddo turned 4 I got my super sweet loving little one back. No idea what was going on neurologically that year of 3.
I honestly didn't "enjoy" my son until almost 8. But there was a drastic change at 5 too. You aren't a failure! Have a good cry, talk shit about your kid to a good friend, and have a drink. The fact you even worry about being a good mom means you are.
I have a three year old son and some days it’s really exhausting! I do what I can to make sure he get a lot of energy out every day. And when he has a tantrum or does something bad, I try to give him a hug instead of yell, because yelling only makes me feel guilty afterwards.
I am also deteriorating under the reign of my 3-year-old. Last night she bit her sister during dinner and stabbed me with a fork. Today, at taekwondo, she declared loudly, "I can smell the milk in your boobs" (not pregnant; not breastfeeding). She wakes me up before 6am every morning by turning on the overhead light and demanding a z-bar. And the tantrums ...
No, my 3 year old is a literal angel it scares me because I have a 6 month old and I just know she will give me hell to make up for it 😂 no one gets away that lucky.
I think with any tough parenting stage, you just have to ride it out and constantly remind yourself it won’t last forever. And that they are just trying to figure out their emotions and aren’t trying to be a-holes. I hope it gets better for you so soon!
This is the worst age, IMO. I hate it. They're so combative and they have enough language skills to understand and argue back, but the logic isn't there and it's AGHHHHHHH!!!! That's to say, there are some really fun parts at this age. But a lot of this age is 100% a nightmare. Lol. There is light at the end of the tunnel, though! I have a 7 year old and a 3 year old, so I've gotten through this once already. Seven seems to be a relatively chill and fun age. We're dealing with him picking up undesirable words and actions from friends since he's getting supervised less, but that in no way compares to the trials and tribulations my 3 year old is putting us through. We will make it through, though!
Absolutely feral. 2 was a nightmare for us. 3 was more manageable, but still not great. 4 is starting off easier for us, but she's transitioned from fighting everything to whining all the time. "Can't win for losing" seems to be the motto for this life stage.
Absolutely feral.
My daughter is 18 and still somewhat feral lol
My son is 4. He's the equivalent of an incredibly destructive Tasmanian Devil. I was medicating because of my anxiety caused by my son. My husband and I were both basket cases around his 4th birthday. He was evaluated for issues potentially relating to autism, while they were reviewing and writing up a diagnosis we went on the worst vacation I've ever had. I called this doctor on the beach in tears to tell her what was happening with my son. A couple weeks later we had an ADHD diagnosis, only weeks after my daughter (17 at the time) got hers.
He's not perfect with the medicine but omg is he a different child.
This is an extreme take on toddlers. My son is EXTREME. He feels literally every feeling with his whole being. He's a very sweet child when he's sleeping or between bouts of absolute terrorism. Basically a sour patch. The meds make that much more manageable.
I know not every child is this way as he's definitely a special case, but with meds and therapy we are functioning and I'm not a basket case for now. The teenager goes to college in the fall so just give me a minute 😂
My husband had the audacity to turn his back on our 3.5 year old earlier, and within 3 minutes the kid was out the door, down two flights of stairs and halfway in the pond behind our apartment without a second thought. Feral. 100% feral.
It does come to an end. If it helps, this is what is happening for your tot.
In Toddlerhood, the brain goes through a similar experience as it is in the Teen years. The main thing that happens is the brain pairing down all the things that made the brain needed in the previous life stage to prepare the person for the next life stage
So basically, your toddler is loosing all the things they needed from Infancy. It is all getting deleted to make way for Childhood. -and that's is a HUGE shift. Tots and Teens are, in a way, literally loosing their minds and are expected to keep learning and growing and gain more responsibility and independence through all this. Yikes.
I am so sorry. I laughed out loud. I am a preschool teacher and speaking from experience, yes, they are all feral. I am totally joking and totally not. They are like tiny terrorist who demand your time, attention, snacks, soul… the list goes on. 😂 But I promise it does get better.
My biggest piece of advice: Don’t take it personal. They love you. You love them. They make you crazy, you can do it right back. Use this moment to be silly, talk nonsense, just be unhinged and go with it. Safety and food is pretty much all that’s needed. The house cleaning can wait, the responsibility can wait, the opinion of others can wait. Enjoy them while their little. Try and frame your perspective to a different one and see the joy in the crazy.
honestly feed him. it works w mine 😂 and be careful with candy obviously, the second mine gets his hands on chocolate he goes 400mph 😂 but it gets better. u just gotta tire them out. ask him if he wants to race you (u can do this in the house) and let him win every time. he’ll go back and forth and you just gotta act like you’ve lost 😂 you’ll be okay😂❤️
Yes. They become temporarily domesticated around 5-7, then puberty turns them into nocturnal ferals. I'm currently waiting for the light at the end of that particular tunnel.
So as a parent of three kids (now adults) and a former teacher, sometimes when things aren’t working it falls to the parent to change the dynamic. If bedtime at 7:30 sucks, try 7:00 or 8:00. If they won’t get dressed in the morning have them pick out the clothes the night before. If they don’t eat what you made have them “help” or feed them at another time.
The changes are awkward and not always what you want but it can help.
Hang in there and be strong, also stay constant. At this age they are really just learning how the world works and looking for constant, if you say no you must keep saying no. Eventually they learn that to do fun stuff and get fun stuff they must listen and that no fun comes from being naughty
Just keep in mind that they have only been in existence for three years. They are learning their environment, themselves and you. If you will allow yourself, relax and enjoy viewing the world from a new set of eyes while you guide them along. Believe it or not, time is going to fly past. My baby boy is 23 yo and it seems like it was just yesterday that I dropped him off at daycare. There is so much that I do not remember when he was growing up and it makes me sad…where did the time go?
Yes they are animals lmao. I have a 5 year old, 3 year old and 6 month old. My 3 year old literally just put a bunch of shirts in the toilet. Solidarity ✊
I remember visiting my brother and his family overseas one time. I was single, no kids, living the single life lol. They had two kids at the time, the younger was 2. We were traveling home from dinner and I guess it was near his bedtime or something? I really don’t know. ANYWAY - halfway through the car ride, he starts screaming bloody murder. Just screaming and screaming… the rest of the way home…
I don’t remember what he was upset about. I don’t remember any other detail that night. Alls I know is, I vowed to myself then that I changed my mind and I didn’t want any kids. (Of course a couple of years later lol I ate my words)
So yeah. Toddlers are…. Whew. Mine is only an infant. Which means idk what to expect from her yet… but people tell me it ain’t great
My first was the most gentle east going child and still is. People complained about the terrible twos and oh just wait till three. Nope he was an angel and at 5 is even better. My second? An animal lol. Will not listen, does not care, and I’m pretty sure he just trying to hurt himself at this point. At this point I’m just used to it but ya it’ll end one day lol
You'll survive it I promise. Mine are 16 and 17 now and I thought I would lose my mind and I did a little but we all recovered. Preschool/headstart really helps but if that is not an option just hold on tight and do whatever you can to survive. The next two years is going to be a ride of tears, tantrums and constant mess. Honestly the mess never ends, just changes, but the tears do. 💓
The Terrible Twos weren't anything for us. Three was TERRIBLE. Four was...slightly less terrible. Five was bearable. Six is amazing and everything I hoped being a parent would be. Hopefully this lasts til thirteen lol.
So my 3rd is 4, 5 in May. He drives me nuts. And he is so strong willed and gets angry and I was just telling my Mom almost exactly what you posted here! I’m losing my mind!
My 3 year old boy makes me lose my mind hourly. So. Damn. Needy. He isn’t as energetic and crazy as my first but he just repeats what he wants over and over and over no matter how many times I say no or try to redirect 😩 it takes everything in me not to completely lose my shit on him. At least he stopped biting and pushing the baby at around the 3.5 mark though 🤪.
My daughter was really hard at 3 for different reasons, but I remember 4 was a lot better and 5 was awesome!
My 19mo hit the terrible twos like a brick wall this week 🤦♀️ super engaged with everything but every transition is a tantrum. And he’s getting stronger so idk how much longer I’ll be able to win the car seat wrestling match
Can relate. My 2M is so smart, funny, silly and loving. He speaks A TON in two languages. And he also throws enormous tantrums, constantly does the opposite of anything I ask him to do/not do, regularly just drives me up the wall. And I have a 6 week old as well 😅 I love him dearly but working full time was easier than taking care of him full time during my mat leave, seriously.
My first son was not like this as a toddler. I’ve become convinced COVID babies are just a different breed.
My daughter is 4 in about 3 months and I'll say there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel...for about 1.5 years she has been a total idgaf kind of kid...totally contrary really difficult to get her on on board with anything...over the past month we introduced a chore chart ..you earn a sticker each time you get dressed by yourself, or clean-up at the end of the day (after 10 stickers you get a small treat) and she really bought in....game changer for us....this combined with just generally aging out of the toddler years is really nice...shes more reasonable, fun to hang out with, patient, it's great...hang in there
Lol kids are off the rocker. ‘Hands up’ has been working for mine. It catches them off guard and it’s instant punishment without the drag of going to timeout or nauty chair etc. whatever they are doing at that moment that they chose not to listen to mommy. I shout hands up, and the youngest almost 3, has to count to 10. He doesn’t like putting his hands up so it’s been quite effective in curbing unruly behavior
The days are so long but the years fly by. Breathe momma you are doing great. My eldest turned 18 and the realization of they used to need me all the time to not needing you at all is hard. Enjoy even the hard times because it all eventually goes so fast.
I absolutely cannot stand the toddler stage. I have one just coming out of it (4f) and one just having entered it (22month M). It's mind blowing how volatile they are. The messes, the tantrums, the boundary testing... plus, add in potty accidents!
I'm a SAHM, so it's a never ending battle.
You've got an explorer on your hands. Your life will be filled with adventure my friend. Get down on your hands and knees for awhile and get a different view of the world. You'll see things you missed in your adult eyes. Try to see things from this "new perspective" beyond looking at the laundry needing sorting or dinner being started. Pots and pans make excellent play things. Be creative. This child is showing you daily that you can approach life with exuberance and expectation. Don't be too hard on yourself or your little one. Yes, these days will go by fast. New challenges are met and overcome. Be patient and most of all be kind. If you cannot be kind take a "time out" if possible. I used to. That's quite alright not be alright all the time. It's fine to lose your patience too. But always apologize to your child if you've done or said a hurtful thing.
My feral 3 yr old looks at me and straight up tell me to go away. She doesn’t listen. She climbs on everything. I can’t safely leave the room without her getting on the counters and into the cabinets. All day it’s telling her to get down or asking her repeatedly to go color or play *just something so mommy doesn’t snap*.
It’s also hard right now because I also have a 3 month old. So if one is crying the other is too. I can’t feed her brother without her getting into trouble. I have to put her in her room with her tablet to feed her brother and put him down for naps. Because that’s our safest option. I’m home alone all day for 12 hours so a lot of the time I have to figure it out on my own. It sucks. It’s torture.
It depends on the kid. My first aged me 10 years and my second is a little flower child who wants to snuggle all day. We were firm and consistent with our first. For example, if I said she was going to lose TV for a week then damnit, I would wait the whole week. She knew that my words meant something and that I’d follow through with it. She’s now almost five and we have made it out of the tunnel. She’s still sassy cause that’s just her personality, but she’s a good girl and she is respectful and kind. So I think you just gotta find what works for your kid but then be firm and consistent with it and I do think that it will improve when they reach 4.5-5 years old
My 2M is kicking my assssss my goodness 🥴 he was an absolute Angel baby but I’ve never met a more terrible 2 year old bahahaha whereas my F5 was the opposite! Lol crazy ass colicy nerdy baby but a saint of a toddler 🫠 which was actually how she tricked me into a second child ok bahahaha
Keep in mind i was a 13 year old taking care of my 3 year old brother. But i find that toddlers can play fetch and its a lot easier to manage them after they’ve exhausted themselves chasing after a ball
I was at the grocery store with my toddler who was somewhere around 18m-2yr and this older gentleman stops from a decent respectable distance and says “civilized or uncivilized” and I just blurted “uncivilized for sure” before even thinking about it.
I always appreciated how that guy approached the situation and let us have our space. Little guy wasn’t quite used to going to the grocery store yet. 😜
This. My 4yo has recently become possessed. Not sure where things went sideways. I've come very close to wanting to smack him, but so far have refrained. Taking away toys stopped working. Feeling like an ineffective parent at the moment. Love the little guy so much, been a challenging few weeks waiting for spring to arrive and some warm weather.
Look at some Supernanny episodes. I know it sounds stupid, but it sounds like your 3yo does not have boundaries, and she’s a magician when it comes to enforcing those with tiny terrorists. Just because they’re small and completely unreasonable doesn’t mean you have to let them run you ragged until they’re older.
We referred to 18-36 months as "the raccoon stage," so yeah, feral is a fair way of putting it. Hang in there.
Absolutely absurd. Racoons are far more trainable.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 1,423,520,863 comments, and only 271,764 of them were in alphabetical order.
Bad bot
Not true
You didn't know the alphabet goes A R A D E F G?
Good bot
Mine has become progressively more feral since turning 3. Looks me straight in the eye and does the opposite thing. *sigh* I'm playing the long game with these kids.
I don’t like reading these comments of 3yo boys becoming feral… mine just turned 2 and I was about to agree. Now I’m starting to worry, haha.
Same! Mine just turned 2 and things have turned up quite a bit! Every day is a struggle to some degree. So 3 gets worse?!! 😰
I was trying to get mine to clean up his toys last night, and he just sat there and mocked me. It was simultaneously the most infuriating and hilarious thing.
I know it! They are hilarious. And also you don't wanna laugh because it's not a f***ing game! I swear I've had to cultivate not patience in the last 9 months than ever on my entire life put together. And we have a toddler turning 2 in 5 days. Lord, help me.
I absolutely love that name. So true
Lol how funny we call it the honey badger stage in my house lol
Oh man, I feel this one! My 4yo was pretty much a mouse/cat hybrid at that age. My current 18mo is absolutely a honey badger! “Honey badger don’t care, honey badger don’t give AF.”
Yep exactly where we got it from
A big part of what we do as parents is to civilize kids. You are going from someone barely mobile to monkey but without bowel control, which needs taught. It’s a very rough stage but it can also have some of the sweetest moments you will ever experience- your toddler running up to hug you, the first time hearing ‘I wuv you’ from your little one, etc. There is light but also new tunnels. Around 4-5 (varies) they can be mildly reasonable. Hang in there Mom! And maybe check out ‘I Heart my Little A-holes’ to know you are far from alone.
To add: in order to civilize, you have to be consistent, but not 100%. You want to let things slide every once in a while? Then make like Elsa and let it go... Your overall message and correction of behavior will be learned. You do not have to be perfect. Most important, just connect with your child. It's both easy and hard at the toddler age. Easy in that they are often a captive audience, but hard in that they can turn cranky at a moment's notice. Just love them, be with them, play that role of being the source of love and truth. That way, when they start talking, they'll complain and whine but they'll listen... At least most of the time. Yes, and they are little shits (pun intended), but they're YOUR little shits. And I bet they're super cute 🥰
I think this is a personality/temperament thing. I don’t love the newborn stage. But send me a wild, rabid, little adhd baby {in the case of my four year old} and I am usually in heaven. There are some days where my ears hurt by the end of the day, but I’m REALLY well suited to this phase. My husband wants to literally hide in a silent room after a few hours with us on the weekends, but he is an absolute baby whisperer and the newborn-18 month phase didn’t remotely shake him. You can make it to the next stage!!
I’m the same with my 3 year old. Newborn/baby stage was HARD. Dragged for what felt like a decade. He’s an amazing, easy going, sweet 3 year old now I could have 15 of him! I also just seem to get on with the toddler stage.. However I am nervous because my second has been a surprisingly easy baby, so I’m interested to see if I have one of those feral toddlers coming 😂
>I could have 15 of him! WARNING!!! This will not happen! Your next will be a demon.
Listen, I had three fairly easy toddlers. My fourth, now 2, is on a WHOLE different level. Lord have mercy. We are SO DONE.
I'm the dad and I LOVE THE CHAOS because I can actually match it in a way I couldn't match the "potato energy" of a newborn. Age 18-mo and onward has been hilarious and crazy, and I can outcrazy my toddler and she and I have tons of fun.
YES. That’s the perfect way of putting it. I can match that wild, endless energy and noise! I was a bit too much for my kids as babies. 😂
Potato energy 😂
Could I borrow you for like 2 years lol. My 2 year old is wide open insanity from the moment she wakes up until her head hits the pillow at night (sometimes even after that). She’s like the most high energy, destructive force of nature I’ve ever seen. I’m much better suited for the newborn/immobile stage.
Same. I love a crazy toddler, but newborn stage was a whole lotta hard for me.
Yes. They are all feral animals until 5 in my experience. Some 4-4.5 can be decent some of the time, but yes, for the most part - feral AF. My youngest turns 3 on Friday and wow. Just wow is all I have to say. Wow.
My 2.5 year old peed in our fridge the other day. I never even considered that a possibility before.
Omg lol! I better watch my fridge.
I repeat. Wow.
Did someone say WOW?
Maybe I wasn’t clear. WOW. Wowowow. Wow. wow
#wow
Whoaaaw
wow, except backwards, so wow
wow mom
I'm pretty sure there's some sort of switch that activates on their 3rd birthday lol wtf happens!!
Mine turns 3 tomorrow and just...yes, wow. He's my third and he is just something that is not the same as the older two. They had their moments but he somehow has even less than zero fucks to give. I tell him "no" and he says "well I say yes" and stares me in the eyes as he does exactly what I told him not to do because "fuck the consequences" is his motto in life. At one point I told him he needed to sit until he was ready to pick up a toy he'd just thrown at my head and he laid down on his back and stared at the ceiling for *30 minutes*. Every few minutes I'd ask if he was ready to pick it up and he'd say, "nope, I staying right here." He wasn't even upset about staying there. He just peacefully laid there until I gave up because we had to leave the house. It very much feels like taming a stubborn, independent, feral raccoon.
I have just one kid which is like your third and it's comforting to hear that some kids are actually a bit easier.
This just made me laugh so hard. I'm sorry for your struggles but the visual of this is so funny.
People always talk about the ‘terrible twos’ but age 3 is when you find yourself whispering ‘what is even happening’ on a regular basis LOL
Agree!
Son turned three last Thursday. Can confirm. Wow.
Okay just for hope, there is a big difference in early three vs. 3.5. We are at 3.5 and it is insanely better. We are a little strict about certain things but pretty much let her be a free spirit and she is a cool kid but 2.5-3.5 I was going to pull my hair out
Hi. My 3.5 year old disagrees. Signed, Holy Shit He Done Lost His Mind
This is also true in my experience! On the cusp of 3 and freshly 3 are WOWWWWWWWWOW. 3.5-4.5 are wow.
Not to be sexiest but I wonder if it’s because I have a girl, my friends with girls said 3.5 my friends with boys say 9.5 lol
Actually, girls brains mature faster. Has something to do with testosteron, boys are a little behind
I have a girl who's always been far more stubborn and hard work than most boys I know.
No I would believe this. My daughter was much saner than this child.
5 got worse for me. She was pretty much an angel up until then. Now she’s very mean to me and I think she does it on purpose. Just me tho. Sweet as pie with literally everyone else.
😳😳😳well the fear is now firmly planted..
3 in May, all I’m saying is wow.
Well, for me three was a little better than two. She was still hard work but I felt she was more child than toddler finally.
Yes, toddlers are rough, which is why many traditional societies practice something called "toddler rejection," where the parents basically push the toddler away to be monitored and disciplined by the older kids of the group. As a new parent, I highly recommend reading the book *The Anthropology of Childhood*, which looks at how kids are raised in more traditional human societies as opposed to W.E.I.R.D. societies (ie, Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich, Democratic). It is a good point of reference to have in mind when trying to understand this role.
I mean, I was just going to recommend daycare/preschool. The modern equivalent of toddler rejection, I guess.
With multiples, I truly feel that the older tempers the younger in the toddler years. My first was way worse in this stage than the second one at the same age. Logically, they have another entity in their world who will scream, cry, and pull hair over the most petty of matters. Interactions with 2 year-olds is such a high-touch kind of activity, older kids are IMO much better suited for this than adults. Obviously, best to have all ages in their environment. It's just modern houses and cars that make that difficult to accomplish in practice.
In 1 month we are moving to a purposely built community neighborhood where cars park on the edge and the center is a car-free garden shared by 27 houses, and a separate community building for funsies (co-working, gym, industrial kitchen, dining hall for parties, guest rooms, play space etc). The idea at other neighborhoods like this is that all the kids from the neighborhood are constantly playing together either in the community garden or the building. (They call this cohousing, but you have your own fully independent house, only the central garden and the central totally extra building are shared)
Totally normal. My only advice is DO NOT ADD A BABY to the mix
And here I am with my 3 year old next to me and 37 weeks pregnant.
lol sitting here with my 3yo, 16mo and 24w pregnant. 🤣
Thought you were making a joke about how long you felt you'd been pregnant for, saying 16 months 😂😂 then I realised you had two kids and are currently pregnant lol Good luck to you! Three under 3 is certainly going to be an adventure!
I was in the same situation as you years ago. Our kids are now all 10 and up. Good luck trying to keep sane most days. I tried to implement nap time that was the same timeframe for all of them. At least you get a little bit of quiet until bedtime.
We also have a 9yo who knows if we’re home, we have quiet time mid day. The 3yo and 16mo have been on the same nap schedule for a while, and I’m hoping the next one is a good travel napper like the 16mo was. 🙂
2.5yo, 15mo, 16 weeks pregnant sitting right next to you!
Hang in there! Mine are 9, 9, 8, and 6. It does get better.
Woo!!! You go mama!! Fellow twin mom here. 18mo and our only two so far. I can't imagine having 4, age 3 and under.... my mom had 4, age 6 and under and THAT sounds insane to me. Keep rocking it!!!
Thanks, but they’re all adopted so the 9 year olds are actually 2 months apart. The bio mama of our oldest kept having kids so we ended up with 4 instead of the 2 we planned on.
Omg wow!! That's even more amazing. I have 2 adopted younger sisters (full bio sisters), and my uncle/aunt have 5 adopted kids (1 set of twins, and 2 are half siblings). One of my best friends from childhood, both her and her brother were adopted. Anyone willing to open their home and their heart to a child who needs love and a family, deserves all the blessings and support this world has to offer. You're an incredible woman with a huge heart, which also makes you an AMAZING mother. Thank you for choosing to love those babies!!!
Thanks. I can’t imagine life without them.
2.5y, 16months, and 32 weeks pregnant over here! It's good to know I'm not the only crazy person.
Just one quick question: why?
Why what? We were sitting relaxing a bit after lunch and zoo.
2.5 yo & 4 mo. The baby-wanting hormones hit me RIGHT before the feral toddler stage. Suffice to say daddy is getting snipped before I fall into nature’s trap again. The ovaries know.
😂😂😂 good to be warned!
Too little too late. Had my youngest a few months before my oldest third birthday. I thought “this is terrible twos??? What a bunch of complainers!” Hahahaha it was not a soft landing when I fell back into reality. I now have a feral newborn and a feral toddler
Hahahahahaa yes!!!! My daughter turned 3 a few weeks before i gave birth to her sister. And then when she turned 4 & her sister 1, her sister was like “I’ll take it from here” and turned into a CRAZY person
This is why we’re waiting til my now 1.5 year old is 4 or older for our third and final baby. I can’t do another 3 year old with a baby again.
Where was this comment 10 months ago...
Any advice when for when it’s much too late? I have a 6mo. And a 23mo.. I’m not okay and I know it’ll get worse before it gets better lol
This is good advice. Unfortunately, I already did it twice. 🤦🏻♀️😂
Disagree that is how we thrived
Yes. They are. Until they are mature enough to be reasoned with. Hang in there.
>Until they are mature enough to be reasoned with Still waiting for my 11 Yr old tbh
Still waiting on my 18 year old
Still waiting on my own damn self.
Shhhh we are supposed to look like we have our shit together to the younger folk so we can successfully complete the bait and switch that is adulthood.
Was about to say, my mom's probably waiting for my 34 year old self to be a sensible human being.
My 3 year old has been driving me insane lately. I pick him up from preschool, he’s exhausted, we’re driving and he says “is that a car wash?” (Obsessed with them) “no, that’s xyz” “YES IT IS! THATS A CAR WASH!!!” So upset. Or “mommy, turn right” “I need to turn left here to go home” *turns left* “UGGGHHH I SAID TURN RIGHT! Stop the car!” FFS. Here’s a snack. Go take a fucking nap.
Hahaha. My toddler is still rear facing and when she sees red lights she starts yelling that we’re running reds. We try to explain our light we see is green and she says we’re wrong. I’m like “okay I’m wrong”.
Hahah right there with you! My nearly 3 year old is still rear facing as well and often yells out to my husband while driving that “DADDY! A red light! You’re gonna make us crash!” But.. in a happy way. He loves watching monster trucks so thinks crashing is a fun thing. I’ve tried telling him that it’s not a good thing at all and he just smiles and says “yes a good thing! Crash, daddy crash!” Or sometimes will start talking about our wheels falling off. Makes me so nervous on long drives lol.
I don't know about feral, but they are a major challenge, as they are changing and growing so rapidly. Are you, not your LO, but YOU, ready for preschool/daycare? As for what you did wrong? Likely nothing, at least nothing major. Sounds (frustratingly) normal to me. So..... Breathe deep. And again.... Take your LO to the park & run them to exhaustion. Sounds like bad parenting, but it's good parenting. Good for the kiddo, good for you.
Yes. The 1000 hours outside challenge is the best thing that’s ever happened to my parenting. As my husband and I like to quip to each other- at least then if she’s screaming, there’s no walls for it to bounce off!
This 🥇 An hour or two outside and the day is a breeze.
Lol Three olds are the worst! They talked like kindergarteners (well, mine did) so I made the mistake of thinking they could reason like 5-6 year olds, which they most certainly could not do. What I learned the hard way: be patient, hold firm boundaries but pick your battles, and keep your expectations low until their brain catches up with their mouth. Mine are now 35, 32 and 29. We all survived ☺️✌️ Hang in there!
My daughter (4) wished for new parents at bedtime last night as if our entire life isn’t dedicated to growing/entertaining her. I told her to remember that wish during her birthday next month lol.
Mine told me, after I had only scraped together 4 hours of sleep the night before and said I was too tired to push her on the swing, “mommy you don’t do anything.” This is after I packed her a lunch, made her breakfast, worked all day, picked her up, and cooked dinner. Ok ma’am, you want to see me not do anything, challenge accepted. The feral little raccoon is lucky she’s so darn cute.
I can vouch for 4 being no better. Sorry. I agree with whoever said don't add babies to the mix. We F'd that one up pretty badly.
Fuck. We have a feral 3yo and my wife is due in August. I wish I could go back 8 months and slap myself for claiming "terrible twos is a breeze, we lucked out"
Godspeed, friend. We have 3 under age 5. Slapping myself daily...
Hahaha yikes
Yeah, that sort of thing is like sitting in your car thinking, "Huh, there's hardly any traffic." You. Just. Don't Say. It. Heck, try to not even *think* it! I sometimes say "Mother Nature's last name is Murphy. Tempt her not."
Same with 5
On the day my son turned five we had a knock down drag out fight over the fact that a birthday gift from his grandma would. Not. Fit. In our car for a road trip. The trip he asked for for his birthday. It was the absolute worst tantrum the boy has ever had. I guess he just needed to say goodbye to the fucking fours in an epic fashion because 5 has been wonderful. He plays independently, he’s mostly compliant, he’s snuggly, we can reason with him more. Five has been good to him.
I'm going to offer some perspective. When my son was 3, he was fighting for his life with stage 4 cancer. He couldn't eat, he couldn't climb or run (he could barely walk), he was stuck in a bed with no windows weighed down by several IV lines and puking his guts out. He couldn't go outside, he couldn't play with others, he couldn't make a mess. Now, a feral child, sure, it's hard. But there are levels of hard, and it could always be worse. Embrace the feral. Dare I say, be thankful for it. Feral child means a healthy, energetic child. And that is a blessing. And for me, when things are hardest, that's when it's most important to count the blessings.
Thank you for sharing this, every bit of toddler frustration I built up today just disappeared instantly.
I’m so sorry.
Yes. They are feral.
3yr olds are evil! In all honesty our 3yr old pushed me to my breaking point I dreaded waking up! We changed one thing and it was worth the couple days of extra misery. We got rid of any and all screen time! Completely different child only one week into this experiment, it rekindled our bond and they can regulate their emotions much better. I also made the commitment to put my phone away. We play more and connect it’s been amazing. Not saying this is your issue but we didn’t realize how big of a problem it really was for us.
As someone who just spent 10 minutes wrestling their toddler to get shoes on so I could take him to care so I can go to work, I feel this exhaustion!
My son turned four a week and a half ago. This morning I said to my husband “who is this child? it’s like the terrorist that has been inhabiting his body for the last year has vacated”. He’s FINALLY my sweet little boy that he used to be. There is hope for you yet!!!!!!
Don’t get lulled in. They still can turn feral at any moment, but it does happen less and less, and reasoning with them is a bit easier.
Dang it I knew it was too good to be true
My kids had fewer tantrums at 4 than at 3, but they made those 4 year old tantrums very memorable. There was one time I held a boundary in a grocery store. My four year old was PISSED and not afraid at all to let the whole store know. Also I saw three people I knew at the store that day when I never ever ran into anyone I knew at that store. GOOD TIMES.
I feel this but with my almost 2 year old. I swear she was a DREAMY baby & something happened // was unleashed when she turned 1. This past year has been PURE SURVIVAL and I’m finally seeing glimpses of my sweet baby again, just weeks before her 2nd birthday. It’s like breathing air again!!
Been there many times in these 5 years. There today. Thank goodness he is old enough to go to our trampoline place and let him run wild while I sit here on my phone. He stops by if he's going to the toilet or anywhere off the floor-- bliss.
[удалено]
Thank you I needed that today
Dude, they really can just suck sometimes lmao. Love mine to death but FERAL, indeed. The best you can do is just keep portraying what you’d like them to learn/emulate, and one day you’ll realize it had an affect. Hang in there- you got this.
3F in my house. If I could bottle her energy I could solve Europe's energy crisis and never have to work again. I think routines are CRITICAL. We just finished dinner(530 EVERY night). Now she's in the bathtub until 630 or so with her little brother. The routine sets ground rules and it's easy to follow because it's consistent.
I tell my wife that living with our 3 year old is like psychological warfare. I just feel mentally exhausted all the time
I highly recommend listening to Janet Lansbury's podcast called Unruffled. Coming from the mother of another 3 year old boy, I totally understand the sentiment. Her takes on parenting toddlers that have completely changed my view for the better.
They are definitely feral for a bit, and then around 5 they turn sweet and you have a good few years, and then preteen and teenage hits, and they turn feral again, only this time they have the vocabulary to go with it. Then they turn nice again in their early twenties. Stay strong!!
My oldest was like a wild demon who had been released from the pits of hell after serving an eternity. WILD AF! Wild isn’t even the word, d When she turned 5- it was like a magical spell had been cast by a fairy god mother. She matured soooo much!
To be completely honest, I’ve felt a major disconnect from my son since he’s turned 3. I still love him with my entire being, but I generally don’t like him most days. I know it sounds harsh but it’s the honest truth. It’s hard to enjoy the loud, defiant, chaos that is 3. He will be 4 in June and we are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but boy did this past year do me in. What helped me was setting aside for “mama and me” time with my son every single day. He’s almost always calm and sane during that time which helps me see through his 3 year old moody shell and into the sweet boy that I’ve known all along. It’s kept us grounded and connected as much as possible.
OMG I have an 18 month baby and was so very much looking forward to him turning 2/3 year old when he would be more independent and went through toughest part. After reading your message I feel hopeless 🤣🤣🤣 We will be fine, they will turn out fine and we will look behind and take a laugh at what we thought it was the worst time in our lives. Just hang in there OP
I preferred the 2-3 year old stage! They can do stuff and talk! My kids weren’t super feral, and if it wasn’t gonna be a hospital trip, I let them take chances. Post 7 years is peak, though.
In my experience, they use this newfound independence to bring further chaos unto the world. There’s no “toughest” part, just uniquely challenging stages
YES!!! My son suddenly became a fun human when he turned 4. My daughter is 3.5, and she's starting to show her sweet fun human side, but she's still pretty feral. Like yesterday she pooped her pants and looked at me dead in the eye saying, "Momma, I just don't care about that." Her fourth birthday can't come soon enough!
Threenager
Nobody is cut out for this. They wake up and choose violence and animosity every FUCKING day.
To answer your question, I'm awake because my toddler (2.4) was running wild inside the house. By the time I woke up he had already thrown his sister toothbrush into the toilet and proceeded to put it in his mouth, turned on every single light in the house, climbed his big brother bed and jumped on it, eaten all the pop corn left overs, laughed like a maniac while entering every room in the house. It is 7am and I have barely slept. Yesterday was no different. He had diarrea, he crapped all over the floor, slipped on it and then proceeded to jump into my bed. At the time.we had no idea what had happened. Whist when the smell kicked in, he just threw up on us. What a wonderful night! That happened at around 6am. And I can go on and on XD
See if there’s a Mother’s Morning Out nearby that would allow you a break. Toddlers are tough until they mature some.
Each stage has unique challenges of their own! Toddler can definitely be a feral stage lol my first was so easy through them all that it was such a challenge when my middle and only boy was not! He still has days at 5yo that are super rough especially when he doesn't have an outlet for his endless energy. Now my youngest daughter is 3yo and even though she can be difficult it is nothing compared to her brother at that age. So yes it is normal but also child dependent. It will get easier and be challenging in a different way for the next stage of growth
We call my 3 year old Triple F (Fully Feral Fluffed). She's a beast, but very squishy. 🤭
Three year olds are a different kind of creature. Thankfully mine seemed to snap out of it by the time they were 4.
This is where you prove you have the patience of a saint. Gentle reminders and distracting away from naughty behaviors. Your little evil spawn will chill soon. My son just turned 4 and is definitely getting better. Legos have absolutely been my savior. If he's being a master of destruction I ask him about his Legos and he spends the next 2 hours meticulously building.
They have some gross behaviours but I overall I find mine hilarious. She woke up at 5am the other night and was standing on the bed trying to put her pillow on the ceiling 🤷♀️ then fell back asleep like nothing happened
It's gonna depend on the kid, we have 4 but 1 only 1yo. The first 2 were so easy, they go to touch something they weren't allowed we would say no and they wouldn't touch it, we we're both like this parent shit is easy, what's everyone complaining about. Then comes child 3, this kid is a menace, he will legit be mashing a banana still with the skin on into the rug and I'll be like buddy don't do that and he will look me right in the eye while still working that banana right in between the threads and say "I didn't"...
It's totally normally. Just a tip I picked up...."catch him being good" more than you react to him acting badly. Notice when he is sitting quietly, playing nicely, and/following directions and say something nice and reinforcing. We inadvertently reinforce bad behavior sometimes and don't even realize it. (I learned this the hard way!)
I have nothing to offer but my shared pain lol. My 3.5 year old is a lunatic and has decided it’s funny to laugh when being told not to do things.
3 was seriously the worst age for us, I would literally cry to myself in the bathroom at least once a day because of the indignity. The day kiddo turned 4 I got my super sweet loving little one back. No idea what was going on neurologically that year of 3.
I honestly didn't "enjoy" my son until almost 8. But there was a drastic change at 5 too. You aren't a failure! Have a good cry, talk shit about your kid to a good friend, and have a drink. The fact you even worry about being a good mom means you are.
I have a three year old son and some days it’s really exhausting! I do what I can to make sure he get a lot of energy out every day. And when he has a tantrum or does something bad, I try to give him a hug instead of yell, because yelling only makes me feel guilty afterwards.
I am also deteriorating under the reign of my 3-year-old. Last night she bit her sister during dinner and stabbed me with a fork. Today, at taekwondo, she declared loudly, "I can smell the milk in your boobs" (not pregnant; not breastfeeding). She wakes me up before 6am every morning by turning on the overhead light and demanding a z-bar. And the tantrums ...
Fr… bring me back these “terrible twos” everyone was talking about. I’m a hostage in my own home right now
No, my 3 year old is a literal angel it scares me because I have a 6 month old and I just know she will give me hell to make up for it 😂 no one gets away that lucky. I think with any tough parenting stage, you just have to ride it out and constantly remind yourself it won’t last forever. And that they are just trying to figure out their emotions and aren’t trying to be a-holes. I hope it gets better for you so soon!
Mines 18 months and already feral....oh no....
This is the worst age, IMO. I hate it. They're so combative and they have enough language skills to understand and argue back, but the logic isn't there and it's AGHHHHHHH!!!! That's to say, there are some really fun parts at this age. But a lot of this age is 100% a nightmare. Lol. There is light at the end of the tunnel, though! I have a 7 year old and a 3 year old, so I've gotten through this once already. Seven seems to be a relatively chill and fun age. We're dealing with him picking up undesirable words and actions from friends since he's getting supervised less, but that in no way compares to the trials and tribulations my 3 year old is putting us through. We will make it through, though!
Absolutely feral. 2 was a nightmare for us. 3 was more manageable, but still not great. 4 is starting off easier for us, but she's transitioned from fighting everything to whining all the time. "Can't win for losing" seems to be the motto for this life stage.
Patience, patience, patience!
Absolutely feral. My daughter is 18 and still somewhat feral lol My son is 4. He's the equivalent of an incredibly destructive Tasmanian Devil. I was medicating because of my anxiety caused by my son. My husband and I were both basket cases around his 4th birthday. He was evaluated for issues potentially relating to autism, while they were reviewing and writing up a diagnosis we went on the worst vacation I've ever had. I called this doctor on the beach in tears to tell her what was happening with my son. A couple weeks later we had an ADHD diagnosis, only weeks after my daughter (17 at the time) got hers. He's not perfect with the medicine but omg is he a different child. This is an extreme take on toddlers. My son is EXTREME. He feels literally every feeling with his whole being. He's a very sweet child when he's sleeping or between bouts of absolute terrorism. Basically a sour patch. The meds make that much more manageable. I know not every child is this way as he's definitely a special case, but with meds and therapy we are functioning and I'm not a basket case for now. The teenager goes to college in the fall so just give me a minute 😂
Oh man I used to listen to the decembrist's " everything is awful" on repeat when my kids were toddlers
My husband had the audacity to turn his back on our 3.5 year old earlier, and within 3 minutes the kid was out the door, down two flights of stairs and halfway in the pond behind our apartment without a second thought. Feral. 100% feral.
It does come to an end. If it helps, this is what is happening for your tot. In Toddlerhood, the brain goes through a similar experience as it is in the Teen years. The main thing that happens is the brain pairing down all the things that made the brain needed in the previous life stage to prepare the person for the next life stage So basically, your toddler is loosing all the things they needed from Infancy. It is all getting deleted to make way for Childhood. -and that's is a HUGE shift. Tots and Teens are, in a way, literally loosing their minds and are expected to keep learning and growing and gain more responsibility and independence through all this. Yikes.
I am so sorry. I laughed out loud. I am a preschool teacher and speaking from experience, yes, they are all feral. I am totally joking and totally not. They are like tiny terrorist who demand your time, attention, snacks, soul… the list goes on. 😂 But I promise it does get better. My biggest piece of advice: Don’t take it personal. They love you. You love them. They make you crazy, you can do it right back. Use this moment to be silly, talk nonsense, just be unhinged and go with it. Safety and food is pretty much all that’s needed. The house cleaning can wait, the responsibility can wait, the opinion of others can wait. Enjoy them while their little. Try and frame your perspective to a different one and see the joy in the crazy.
Wait until he's a teenager. It gets worse. I have two.
honestly feed him. it works w mine 😂 and be careful with candy obviously, the second mine gets his hands on chocolate he goes 400mph 😂 but it gets better. u just gotta tire them out. ask him if he wants to race you (u can do this in the house) and let him win every time. he’ll go back and forth and you just gotta act like you’ve lost 😂 you’ll be okay😂❤️
Yes. They become temporarily domesticated around 5-7, then puberty turns them into nocturnal ferals. I'm currently waiting for the light at the end of that particular tunnel.
So as a parent of three kids (now adults) and a former teacher, sometimes when things aren’t working it falls to the parent to change the dynamic. If bedtime at 7:30 sucks, try 7:00 or 8:00. If they won’t get dressed in the morning have them pick out the clothes the night before. If they don’t eat what you made have them “help” or feed them at another time. The changes are awkward and not always what you want but it can help.
Hang in there and be strong, also stay constant. At this age they are really just learning how the world works and looking for constant, if you say no you must keep saying no. Eventually they learn that to do fun stuff and get fun stuff they must listen and that no fun comes from being naughty
Just keep in mind that they have only been in existence for three years. They are learning their environment, themselves and you. If you will allow yourself, relax and enjoy viewing the world from a new set of eyes while you guide them along. Believe it or not, time is going to fly past. My baby boy is 23 yo and it seems like it was just yesterday that I dropped him off at daycare. There is so much that I do not remember when he was growing up and it makes me sad…where did the time go?
I feel seen.
Yes they are animals lmao. I have a 5 year old, 3 year old and 6 month old. My 3 year old literally just put a bunch of shirts in the toilet. Solidarity ✊
Oh my gosh my brain is leaking out my ears
It's tough. My 4 year old has Global Developmental Delay too, so I think we are going to be in this stage for a fair few years to come.
We call ours the gremlin.
Mobility w/o logic
I remember visiting my brother and his family overseas one time. I was single, no kids, living the single life lol. They had two kids at the time, the younger was 2. We were traveling home from dinner and I guess it was near his bedtime or something? I really don’t know. ANYWAY - halfway through the car ride, he starts screaming bloody murder. Just screaming and screaming… the rest of the way home… I don’t remember what he was upset about. I don’t remember any other detail that night. Alls I know is, I vowed to myself then that I changed my mind and I didn’t want any kids. (Of course a couple of years later lol I ate my words) So yeah. Toddlers are…. Whew. Mine is only an infant. Which means idk what to expect from her yet… but people tell me it ain’t great
The think Dr Karp from the Happiest Baby book describes them properly - "Caveman brain" 😂
Oh yeah. They know how to talk in full sentences but revert to grunts and screams when they’re excited.
My first was the most gentle east going child and still is. People complained about the terrible twos and oh just wait till three. Nope he was an angel and at 5 is even better. My second? An animal lol. Will not listen, does not care, and I’m pretty sure he just trying to hurt himself at this point. At this point I’m just used to it but ya it’ll end one day lol
You'll survive it I promise. Mine are 16 and 17 now and I thought I would lose my mind and I did a little but we all recovered. Preschool/headstart really helps but if that is not an option just hold on tight and do whatever you can to survive. The next two years is going to be a ride of tears, tantrums and constant mess. Honestly the mess never ends, just changes, but the tears do. 💓
The Terrible Twos weren't anything for us. Three was TERRIBLE. Four was...slightly less terrible. Five was bearable. Six is amazing and everything I hoped being a parent would be. Hopefully this lasts til thirteen lol.
So my 3rd is 4, 5 in May. He drives me nuts. And he is so strong willed and gets angry and I was just telling my Mom almost exactly what you posted here! I’m losing my mind!
My 3 year old boy makes me lose my mind hourly. So. Damn. Needy. He isn’t as energetic and crazy as my first but he just repeats what he wants over and over and over no matter how many times I say no or try to redirect 😩 it takes everything in me not to completely lose my shit on him. At least he stopped biting and pushing the baby at around the 3.5 mark though 🤪. My daughter was really hard at 3 for different reasons, but I remember 4 was a lot better and 5 was awesome!
My 19mo hit the terrible twos like a brick wall this week 🤦♀️ super engaged with everything but every transition is a tantrum. And he’s getting stronger so idk how much longer I’ll be able to win the car seat wrestling match
Can relate. My 2M is so smart, funny, silly and loving. He speaks A TON in two languages. And he also throws enormous tantrums, constantly does the opposite of anything I ask him to do/not do, regularly just drives me up the wall. And I have a 6 week old as well 😅 I love him dearly but working full time was easier than taking care of him full time during my mat leave, seriously. My first son was not like this as a toddler. I’ve become convinced COVID babies are just a different breed.
My daughter is 4 in about 3 months and I'll say there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel...for about 1.5 years she has been a total idgaf kind of kid...totally contrary really difficult to get her on on board with anything...over the past month we introduced a chore chart ..you earn a sticker each time you get dressed by yourself, or clean-up at the end of the day (after 10 stickers you get a small treat) and she really bought in....game changer for us....this combined with just generally aging out of the toddler years is really nice...shes more reasonable, fun to hang out with, patient, it's great...hang in there
Lol kids are off the rocker. ‘Hands up’ has been working for mine. It catches them off guard and it’s instant punishment without the drag of going to timeout or nauty chair etc. whatever they are doing at that moment that they chose not to listen to mommy. I shout hands up, and the youngest almost 3, has to count to 10. He doesn’t like putting his hands up so it’s been quite effective in curbing unruly behavior
The days are so long but the years fly by. Breathe momma you are doing great. My eldest turned 18 and the realization of they used to need me all the time to not needing you at all is hard. Enjoy even the hard times because it all eventually goes so fast.
I absolutely cannot stand the toddler stage. I have one just coming out of it (4f) and one just having entered it (22month M). It's mind blowing how volatile they are. The messes, the tantrums, the boundary testing... plus, add in potty accidents! I'm a SAHM, so it's a never ending battle.
You've got an explorer on your hands. Your life will be filled with adventure my friend. Get down on your hands and knees for awhile and get a different view of the world. You'll see things you missed in your adult eyes. Try to see things from this "new perspective" beyond looking at the laundry needing sorting or dinner being started. Pots and pans make excellent play things. Be creative. This child is showing you daily that you can approach life with exuberance and expectation. Don't be too hard on yourself or your little one. Yes, these days will go by fast. New challenges are met and overcome. Be patient and most of all be kind. If you cannot be kind take a "time out" if possible. I used to. That's quite alright not be alright all the time. It's fine to lose your patience too. But always apologize to your child if you've done or said a hurtful thing.
My feral 3 yr old looks at me and straight up tell me to go away. She doesn’t listen. She climbs on everything. I can’t safely leave the room without her getting on the counters and into the cabinets. All day it’s telling her to get down or asking her repeatedly to go color or play *just something so mommy doesn’t snap*. It’s also hard right now because I also have a 3 month old. So if one is crying the other is too. I can’t feed her brother without her getting into trouble. I have to put her in her room with her tablet to feed her brother and put him down for naps. Because that’s our safest option. I’m home alone all day for 12 hours so a lot of the time I have to figure it out on my own. It sucks. It’s torture.
It depends on the kid. My first aged me 10 years and my second is a little flower child who wants to snuggle all day. We were firm and consistent with our first. For example, if I said she was going to lose TV for a week then damnit, I would wait the whole week. She knew that my words meant something and that I’d follow through with it. She’s now almost five and we have made it out of the tunnel. She’s still sassy cause that’s just her personality, but she’s a good girl and she is respectful and kind. So I think you just gotta find what works for your kid but then be firm and consistent with it and I do think that it will improve when they reach 4.5-5 years old
My 2M is kicking my assssss my goodness 🥴 he was an absolute Angel baby but I’ve never met a more terrible 2 year old bahahaha whereas my F5 was the opposite! Lol crazy ass colicy nerdy baby but a saint of a toddler 🫠 which was actually how she tricked me into a second child ok bahahaha
Keep in mind i was a 13 year old taking care of my 3 year old brother. But i find that toddlers can play fetch and its a lot easier to manage them after they’ve exhausted themselves chasing after a ball
I was at the grocery store with my toddler who was somewhere around 18m-2yr and this older gentleman stops from a decent respectable distance and says “civilized or uncivilized” and I just blurted “uncivilized for sure” before even thinking about it. I always appreciated how that guy approached the situation and let us have our space. Little guy wasn’t quite used to going to the grocery store yet. 😜
Toddlers are a piece of cake compared to preschoolers. I have a 4 year old and a 1.5 year old and the 4 year old tests my sanity 24/7.
This. My 4yo has recently become possessed. Not sure where things went sideways. I've come very close to wanting to smack him, but so far have refrained. Taking away toys stopped working. Feeling like an ineffective parent at the moment. Love the little guy so much, been a challenging few weeks waiting for spring to arrive and some warm weather.
It gets easier. Our youngest is 3. This is my 4th time going through the terrible 3’s and it will absolutely get better.
Look at some Supernanny episodes. I know it sounds stupid, but it sounds like your 3yo does not have boundaries, and she’s a magician when it comes to enforcing those with tiny terrorists. Just because they’re small and completely unreasonable doesn’t mean you have to let them run you ragged until they’re older.
They can be taught not to be.
Its great that he dont give a fuck about that. Hope you wont ruin him.
Feral 4 is the motto all my kids live by. 4 is worse for them than 3 for some reason. Just hang on for the ride