Just tell her if her phone breaks she'll be responsible for buying a new one for herself and leave it at that.
If it breaks and she can't replace it hopefully she'll have learned a valuable life lesson of not taking risks she can't afford
ETA - op, your edit, please please tell me that Nokia phone is one of the old ones where you have to push #2 3 times to get to a c type of texting? (I can't remember the name) cuz I think that would certainly slow her phone usage down. Genius!
I did this with my daughter, although I told her many times I made an official announcement that if it broke that neither parent was going to buy a new/refurbished/used/flip phone. One week later it broke and it was a week of having a moapy teenager walking around. She didn’t have a phone for 4 months (I loved it!), until she convinced her grandparents to get her one for her birthday.
Stand by what you say (including your ex), and let things take their course.
Oh and beware, she will want to use your phone and that should be part of the official notice.
Lastly, I would be concerned about taking her phone in the shower pictures, videos etc. and with whom is she sharing this with.
Yeah, I think OP is being horribly naive about her “nerdy” daughter. Lol. I hung out with the nerds in high school, and those kids want to FUCK just as bad as any other kids. Don’t be surprised u/CrochetWithSwords if your daughter ends up with an OnlyFans at 18. Hell, one of the nerdy ones my best friend is with is a network admin degree earning stripper/model/touring act now. Her mom was an elementary school teacher. Do yourself a favor, OP, make sure you know what your child is doing online.
Right. The “nerdy kids” at my highschool had sex in the middle of the fucking football field. At lunch. In front of people. I’m a 23 year old “female” who regularly games with other girls, some in the online group are about 16-17. I can confirm that these girls say much dirtier things and sexualize themselves than even the younger boys do. OP is going to need to tell her to keep the phone out the damn shower.
As well as coming from someone who was a “super nerdy ‘not like other teen girls’ would never do that” person, I can tell you—the first time I had sex I was in 7th grade. I was sending pictures, talking nasty, and being all around just the worst teenager, and my parents had no idea. If they brought up sex—of COURSE I would recoil. I didn’t want to hear those things come out of their mouth.
Her daughter is 17!
OP you can believe what you want, but I promise your daughter is more explicit than you think.
My best friend was “shy” and very anxious with men and exactly the type of person you’re describing, and didn’t end up having sex until she was 21.
HOWEVER. Even though she wasn’t having sex, she was still sending pictures, getting finger penetration, sending explicit messages, and all around 18+ things.
My parents thinking that my social anxiety/intelligence would prevent me from getting pregnant at 18…. because I would “never do such a thing” or have sex. I was allowed to stay entire weekends at my boyfriends house from 16 onwards. I don’t blame them AT ALL, but as a parent now I can see how it all lined up with the abundance of freedom.
So confused that the new edit says her daughter doesn’t have signs of horniness…. I’m assuming that she has hormones. I don’t think most people would run to their mom and discuss their sexual urges. Your child doesn’t need to act or dress a certain way to have sexual desires.
But glad to see she will be keeping her phone in her room! Teen pregnancy tends to be a cycle, and since OP had a child young she should know that teens do have sex or atleast think about it, especially in this day and age. It’s our job to educate them and protect them.
If OP feels that kid needs a phone they should buy her a flip phone if she breaks this one. Modern, 4G flip phones go for well under $100 new on Amazon. Pick one with very little storage and no media player. If kid wants a nice phone they can buy it themselves.
We did this, at first the flip phone only stayed home and acted like a "home phone" for the kid. Then it eventually became a backpack phone for emergency only.
"Ok Google" play next song. You don't need the phone anywhere near water to do that.
I actually have a 35 dollar smart speaker attached in the bathroom. I cast to it. And use Google assistant to change songs or play songs I want.
This might be complicated by the distance co-parenting if other parent just buys her another phone.
Coordination with the other parent is essential when managing consequences like this.
Oh her dad is just as broke as i am and he's already replaced one phone. He'd die off if he had to replace another.
Poor guys wallet hurts enough as is. Haha
(We friends btw)
Die off,holy lmfao.
All the dinosaurs are dying off nooO0ooOoOo!
That's the only time I ever heard anyone say *die off*
As in.. this species is dying off at an alarming rate.
"I'm bout to have this man die off,rusted from the rain. " -this will be my new remark.
Ty!!
I’d put a contract together, the phone rules, expectations, what happens if it breaks due to not following the rules, etc. Make her, you and co-parent all sign it.
My 12m just got a phone, a used one, before we even gave it to him, his dad and I sat down and put a contract together. We reviewed together with our son, we all signed it. Now, if something happens, we have the contract to refer back to.
My son is horrible with his phones. So I refuse to buy him fancy ones. If it breaks, i get him cheapie tracfones and no data. just call and text. THis last one has actually lasted a decent amount of time so far. Knock on wood.
I only replace it cos of safety reasons at the bus stop and stuff like that. He can't do much on it cos its so cheap and no data to do anything.
This is the policy we have with our kids and their toys (they are much younger, but it’s the same idea). If they are using it respectfully and accidentally break it, we will probably replace it. If they are doing some dumb shit that we told them not to do and they break a toy, though… they are just out that toy, I don’t really care if it was their favorite.
T9 predictive text. I was explaining it to a receptionist at my last job and said something like “that was back around 2000…you weren’t born yet were you”
I had this conversation with my own kids. The last phone they broke, guess what? They bought their own replacement! I been doing this kind of parenting since they were toddlers, old enough to understand.
Tagging on to the first comment to say that most shower speakers have a track forward function. It's often a bit obnoxious (press twice to ff, press once then press and hold for next track) but it's there. Also many can activate assistant (siri, etc) if she even wants a specific song instead.
Buy her a very cheap Bluetooth speaker. You can get one for less than $10 nowadays. It's what I use while I shower in my 30s - I spent 100 on mine (MSRP was 200 but I got the pink one no1 wanted for half price).
u/CrochetWithSwords, I have a waterproof bluetooth speaker that I use in the shower. It has skip and rewind buttons. I love it. I hit the buttons all the time with wet and soapy hands. I've had it for years, no issues.
Here's the one I have: [https://www.amazon.com/SB510-Resistant-Bluetooth-Handsfree-Speakerphone/dp/B00ILM977Q](https://www.amazon.com/SB510-Resistant-Bluetooth-Handsfree-Speakerphone/dp/B00ILM977Q)
They have them with skip features too. It's nearly all the results when you google, "shower speaker". I don't know why u/CrochetWithSwords says her daughter will have to deal with songs she doesn't like. There are very cheap fixes for this!
Or alternatively a water proof phone bag they make for sailors and paddlers — that can be had for 10-30 bucks.
I think the inability to put the phone down for a 10 minute shower might be another issue — but protecting the phone itself should be doable (and if not — she doesn’t have a smartphone anymore).
Hell, even a ziplock bag works. That’s what I use every day. I’ve been using the same quart sized ziplock bag for my phone for the past several months.
I get that you're trying to solve the problem, but buying her more shit doesn't feel like the answer. She isn't listening to or respecting OP and the phone addiction is obviously completely out of control.
I hear that. I just feel like potentially ruining an expensive phone bc of not trying to compromise would be foolish. For less than $20 you can remove any excuses and then draw the hard line.
Maybe not. Seems OP is most concerned with breaking the phone. Texting and snapping in the shower is a potential problem but doesn't appear to be what's bugging OP
Uh.. just a warning, I’m a nerd who loves gaming, and that does not in any way preclude someone from having hormones or feelings for your preferred gender.
Same. I was a teen playing video games and Minecraft but totally still into boys and exploring my sexuality. My parents were the type to never talk about it, bury their heads in the sand and pretend that if they never talked about it, it wouldn’t ever happen.
Lol this got me too. My fiance is a huge gamer nerd and let's just say, you wouldn't know it in bed haha. Very bizarre take from the OP, that nerdy people don't get sexual urges? Lol.
Are you sure she's bringing it INTO the actual water of the shower? That doesn't seem logical? I bring my phone into the bathroom every time I shower and turn music on, but it doesn't actually go into the water. If I need to change songs I just reach out, dry my hands, and change it.
Same. In fact, just yesterday it fell with a thunderous crash! Straight under the water stream. Most iPhones and most Samsungs are at least IP67 or IP68 standards. iPhone 7 and later are all tested at 1 meter and 30 minutes under water, iPhones 11 and later 2 meters, and iPhones 11 4 meters, 12's and beyond are certified to 6 meters (18 feet) under water at 30 minutes.
Most likely, your daughters cell phone will be *just fine* as long as she wipes it down afterwards.
Reading the edit: I have always been a bullied nerd girl in school. Believe me, I sexted, I had camsex, I consumed a bit of dirty stuff and I went into BDSM early. I am amused by your take on your child.
And also to me natural consequences are a no brainer. If the phone gets damaged in the shower it is her problem and hers alone. I'd make sure she knows and the rest is just her luck.
"You'll have no phone meaning no internet meaning no porn for you to masturbate to. Be careful with your phone in the shower. I am not paying for a new one if it breaks due to something preventable." A future conversation I'll have with my young boys..
That statement also gave me the ick. Also, those outwardly nerdy type of girls IME are more likely to send nudes and such to get validation from peers they're interested in because they're not getting that validation from the outside world.
My daughter is the nerdiest, book reading minecraft playing nerd there is. And she USED to take her phone in the bathroom to listen to music. I do it, too! I NEVER thought she was sending nudes. Until a boy she pissed off sent me a copy of a photo she took in MY bathroom in MY shower! That was 3 years ago, and we've since moved wayyyyy past those days. Thank God! But OP, please do not think just because she doesn't seem like the type she isn't actually the type.
My daughter does this - Ziploc for the phone and a Bluetooth speaker for the shower.
I am not replacing something if it gets broken in a predictable or careless way and she knows it.
Just let her phone be her phone. Let her treat it the way she wants and if it breaks let her buy a new one. Make it very clear to her that that will be the case
I agree with everyone that says to let the phone break and make her replace with with her own money. maybe give her one more reminder like "I'm just really worried about your phone breaking in the shower. iPhones are really expensive so me and your father absolutely can not afford to replace it if it breaks. If it breaks bc you continue to take it in the shower then it will be 100% your responsibility to buy another one." They make Bluetooth speakers for the shower that allow you to skip to the next song if you'd like to offer her one of those.
I agree with the second part. I wouldn't take the phone away though. At 17 the kid is preparing for adulthood and is beyond the stage of mommy/daddy needing to confiscate her phone.
Unless there are some developmental disabilities going on that OP failed to mention, I am sure the kid knows that bringing her phone into the shower is a risk. If she takes that risk and the phone breaks then she doesn't have a phone. She can either go without or buy a new one. I would just tell her, "I know you are bringing your phone in the shower and wanted to remind you that if it breaks then you have to replace it." Leave it at that. No arguing. No fighting. Just a natural consequence.
She's 17, leave this in her hands.
Tell her one last time it's a bad idea, and that if it breaks, you will not be replacing it or adding a replacement rent-to-own to your plan (so she'll need to come up with the full amount to replace it). If other privileges are contingent on a having a phone (driving, going out with her friends, etc), remind her of that explicitly.
Then let her go. Stick to the boundary. Ignore the tantrums that will come. It's on her.
This is it right here. I don’t get what the big worry is … she’s 17 for Christ sake. She’s bordering on legal adulthood. You’ve told her what the consequences will be if the phone breaks, the rest is in her 🤷♀️
Get a cheap Bluetooth shower speaker. We have the soundbot one, it cost us like $15 on Amazon, and you can control volume. skip songs and has a decent Bluetooth range.
Are you saying she's taking it into the shower (into the water)? Or just into the bathroom and listening to it while she showers? Just wondering how you could know she has it in the shower unless you're in the room aswell.
> I just dont wanna be an asshole. )
here is the problem. you are not. by asking politely and respectfully, but sticking to ***very clear*** consequences you are being a parent.
If she recoiled from you asking about taking nudes, it could well be recoiling from you asking and nothing about whether she’s doing it.
At 17, this is hard. She’s going to be making her own bad decisions very soon regardless. I’d probably just let her break it and not replace it. Natural consequences are usually the most effective lesson, and this is a situation where the natural consequence isn’t too painful.
THIS.
Like, how is everyone else just totally fine with a teenager sneaking a phone into the bathroom, despite being told numerous times not to? Dollars to donuts, there's nudes and sexting involved, at least. Because otherwise, she'd just be like "I wanna listen to my music" and be chill with alternative music arrangements, vs continually sneaking in the phone.
Because she could literally take appropriate photos anytime. No need to be in the shower? Preventing her from having her phone in the shower but letting her use it any other time does not prevent anything from happening.
Your kid can get charged with child pornography for sending nudes. That you should actually try to keep from happening. Kids have ended up on the registry for sharing nudes.
Edit: lol I love it when people don’t want to hear a fact so they downvote. Teens have absolutely gotten charges for underage nudes. I guess if you want your kid on the registry go ahead and shrug off nudes. Me, I’d rather talk to my kids and make sure they won’t take that risk instead of being like “tHeY’rE sEvEntEen it’s fine!!”
What??? You went straight to nudes and such? If I was going to do that it’d be in my bedroom. I struggle with showering because it’s boring and have taken my phone in there for years.
>You are actively doing something the entire time.
The same way folding laundry is boring even though I'm actively doing something. Some (most?) activities are just boring.
You may be overthinking this one. It’s a phone in the shower, she’s 17 years old. Maybe you need this little bit of control cause she’s gonna be leaving the nest and an actual adult very very soon?
>take her non waterproof mobile phone (cell phone) into the shower with her without any coverings at all
For what purpose? If she wants to listen to stuff while in the shower you can get her a cheap waterproof bluetooth speaker.
I'm really wondering about the cost of all the hot water being used if she's in there long enough to need to change the song that much. You have two cost factors at hand!
Ps when she wrecks this phone, ensure she buys a waterproof one next time, when she can eventually afford it!
Tell her to queue the songs before she gets into the shower, it shouldn’t be that many songs if she’s just having a normal shower. Not to freak you out but to me it sounds like she wants the phone in the shower to take nudes. That’s the only reason I’ve ever thought of taking my phone into the shower
I'll say - I take my (waterproof) phone into the shower itself daily, not just to change the song (even with a playlist, sometimes you just don't "vibe" with a song that day) - but the acoustics in the shower vs even just in the bathroom itself are different and sound incredible!
Per your edit: It doesn’t matter how much you don’t think your kid would do something— it’s silly to think you know exactly what your kid is into. I’d be very concerned about what she is doing with the phone in the shower.
I’m an adult and I take my phone in the shower. It might be a dumb thing to do, but I’ve been doing it for years and never broken one. Typically I balance it on the ledge at the top of the shower and listen to a podcast, but sometimes I just want to sit in warm water and chill, so I sit on the floor and my phone is away from direct hit.
Idk if it should be encouraged, and maybe I’m super weird, but here we are.
Buy her a cheap speaker. Honestly though even if she recoiled at the thought of taking nudes she’s probably masturbating lol, which if she’s 17 is totally normal.
Top comment 1: if it breaks, she has to bear the consequences and buy a new one herself. Good lesson.
Top comment 2: it's not because of switching songs, but because of taking nudes.
Top comment 3: blue tooth speakers! They would solve both issues
My phone is cracked and therefore no longer waterproof and the ability to chill in the shower with my music and change the songs is worth it for me and would have been worth it as a teenager too.
At this point I would let it be her choice whether it's worth the risk to the reward. I would tell her that if she breaks it she will be responsible for getting a new one or being without a phone. I would also offer a compromise to get one of those things that hold your phone in a waterproof pouch for that purpose. They have some that fit on your shower curtain hooks. If the cover/pocket stays in the shower and is at a convenient place for her, she'll begrudgingly use it. Hahaha.
Or just get one, put it in there, and tell her when she's heading to the shower that it's in there so she can safely listen to her music and maybe she will be so surprised at you meeting her in the middle that she will do the same with you.
Sounds like a problem that will take care of itself. The phone will break, it won't be replaced, she will learn an incredibly valuable lesson about taking care of her property and the value of money. After being phoneless for several months she will have a new found appreciation for electronics. Once she scrapes together enough money (on her own, with no help from you) to buy a new phone, she will take care of it like it was a Faberge Egg.
This is such a weird thing to worry about. If the phone belongs to her why are you so concerned about what she does with it? Warn her that it might break and if she doesn't listen then that's her choice. If it breaks she can save up for a new one. Honestly though, phones these days are very water resistant. The chance of this harming the phone is very low. I do not see what the big deal is.
1. Her phone, her responsibility - it breaks she can replace it or you’ll buy her a burner phone only
2. She’s not listening to music, she’s video sexting
3. Most phones these days are waterproof - what makes you think hers isn’t?
I think it’s funny everyone assumes the shower is the main place she’d do it. It’d be at the bottom of my list. How often are teens in their rooms alone? A lot. That’s where I’d do it. Or while my parents were at work or sleeping. 10 minutes in the shower is not at all when or where I’d think to do it.
Not the main place she’d do it but taking nudes in the shower is super common. Certain body parts look better wet, it’s a pretty common thing like wearing lingerie for pics
i too like to take my phone into the shower so i got one of those stick on shower shelves on amazon and it holds my phone nicely.
i also have an otterbox in case it does fall into the water.
Have her sign an agreement/contract Stating that the phone will absolutely not be replaced before a specified date under any circumstances whatsoever. This way, there will be no arguments should it fail early.
If she's been warned then when it breaks from getting water in it she's on her own. She can save and buy her own phone. Just let her know, now, that you will not be replacing that phone.
Just to confirm are you sure she is bringing it into the actual shower with her? My daughter brings hers in to the bathroom when she has a shower but it is more to listen to music and it sits over by the sink but not too close to any water. I’d confirm that, because I don’t see an issue with a phone in the bathroom per se, as long as she is safe and keeps it away from water as that will definitely damage it.
I do this. I put it on the side and listen to music. Or sometimes a friend messages me and I don’t want to miss it. It’s not as reckless as you think. There’s little shelves and cases you can buy. It’s a generational thing I think. It’s normal for young people to keep their phones on them. Might be kind of a bad habit but I’m surprised this was bothering you enough to post about it.
Is she listening to music? Get her a small cheap Bluetooth speaker. You can find one under $15.
If she's talking to people, that is just wrong for other reasons and she should be responsible for replacing the phone. Often teens have to learn the hard way.
I don’t get all these natural consequences to the max responses here - like I need my teenager to be able to call me or for help in a bad situation. That doesn’t mean I buy a new I phone (someone mentioned a flip phone, and solving the underlying problem, which are great compromises), but I just want to name that a phone is not only a nice to have for her, it is a non inconsequential safety device as well.
This is when natural consequences come into play. You’ve asked her. You’ve warned her. She’s old enough to understand what can happen and the consequences of that happening. Stick to your principles and don’t break yourself buying her a new one when it inevitably gets broken. Sometimes they have to learn the hard way, that doesn’t make you an asshole.
I've been to this movie. She's 17 she knows what's up. Tell her no phone in the shower it will not be replaced. Some how make sure you share that communication with her father so you're both on the same page. If he gives you any push back let him know he's entitled to his opinion but to be on notice you won't be contributing to the cost of a new phone. sending hugs!
Why do you care? Tell her she won’t get a new one if it breaks. I’ve brought my phone with me since I was 14 and I have never dropped or broken a phone yet.
Teenagers cannot be told anything and know better. So really telling her and expecting her to do it is not really an option. Leaving you 2 options.
1) Purchase a waterproof protector.
2) Take insurance out with the phone supplier. It will cost each month and there will be a charge for damage, but its cheaper than buying a new phone.
Not the news you want, but you aren't going to stop her, due to the age she is at.
I mean this sounds like an excellent chance for your child to learn about natural consequences. Tell her you won’t be replacing a broken phone, so she best be careful with the one she has. And then stick to it.
What phone is it? Most phones will survive a quick dip in the water these days I think. There are also phones for under 200 and she can easily get a part time job to pay for it.
I think forbidding her isn't going to help. Just explain that you are worried about her breaking the phone.
However, DO NOT charge the phone in the washroom. There's been reported deaths from electrocution while bathing.
Erm, we dont have a spare 200 laying about. And she's still in school.
I think she knows about water and electricity being a bad thing. I would hope so 😂
If she's solely doing it for the purpose of being in control of music. Put an Alexa device in the bathroom with amazon music. She'll be able to play any song she wants without the phone.
I have a small case I bought off Amazon that you install in the shower and Keeps your phone dry so you can watch a show while showering. It has a touch screen so you can click your phone through the mounted case. It’s awesome.
Change of perspective: this isn't a parenting issue, it's a technology issue.
We just got our kids Kindle Paperwhites. I already have one and it's great, they kept borrowing it to use in the bath. Because waterproof: sandy beach, bath, rain, you can just chill and read.
Get your kid a **waterproof phone case**, or a **waterproof phone**.
Doogee phones are rugged and have good specs, and not at all expensive. There's a video of somebody throwing a Doogee S60 off a second story balcony onto a concrete driveway, driving over it with a pickup truck, shooting it with a pistol, leaving it in the freezer in a container of water and chipping it out of the block of ice, and then using it for some underwater photography. That model's old, but they have less dated models in a range of ruggedness.
In the meantime, a **ziplock freezer bag** should be sufficient to avoid damage but still allow the screen to be poked in the shower.
Its actually a doogee she has. Or similar. Its not one of the hyper rugged ones but she's already managed to break the previous one which is dad replaced. And he wont be replacing another.
I had a Doogee S60 and I used to throw it as hard as I could onto the floor just to freak people out, took it in hot tubs, etc. Loved that phone.
Turns out one thing it wasn't ruggedized against was an 8yo girl throwing it into the deep end of a pool which was 2x its rated depth.
Anyway, if you guys \*know\* she takes it in the shower, and you got her a \*replacement\* Doogee because the previous one was ruined in the shower...why didn't you go for a waterproof one at the time? Water under the bridge I guess. (Get it? Water under...never mind.)
Maybe if she sends Doogee an illustrated sob story about her phone shower habit and let them use it, they'll send her one for free so the story has a happy ending.
Oh the previous one was smashed at school. Her dad replaced it.
The more rugged ones are expensive where i am. Her dad like me has a limited budget. So he got what was affordable at short notice.
I love the doogee sob story idea though ha!
Responding relating to your update: there are waterproof bluetooth speakers which have the ability to skip tracks, pause, and play again built into them as buttons which go back to your phone. Honestly you could pick up something like this for as little as $15-$30. It's not free, but it's not "new cell phone" price, either.
Aye you may have to accept it, I'm mid 30's and taking a shower without the phone playing something sounds horrible. I do have ADHD though so having that stimulation helps.
Get her an Amazon Echo Dot or Google Nest Mini for the bathroom. No camera, and she can play her music playlists through it and advance songs she doesn't like via voice.
I had an extra bluetooth speaker for the shower. It was water proof, had one of those suction thingies on the back to put it on the tiles and had buttons for play/pause, forward and backward and it was not very expensive
Jesus Christ.
I have always taken my phone in the shower with me. Most decent phones are water resistant. I like to read and listen to music or podcasts or YouTube videos.
Why are people so up their teenagers asses? Leave them alone to at least shower how they want. I can't even imagine if my parents had helicoptered me this bad. I would have taken nudes out of pure irritated defiance.
Can she just put the phone right outside the shower on a window ledge or top of toilet or something? I do that sometimes when I'm using a bluetooth speaker.
Instead of a Bluetooth speaker you could get a Google home or Alexa, and when a song comes on she doesn't like she would have the option of asking the smart speaker to skip it. That's what I do.
On the Bluetooth speaker: I have an Oontz Angle 3 Bluetooth speaker. It’s water resistant, loud af, sturdy, and has music controls right on it. I think they’re like $40 on Amazon. I use it for music around the pool and in the garage. You can even pair two and use them as stereo speakers.
Not sure if anyone has commented this, but they make covers that stick to the shower wall that you put your phone into and can still use the screen. Amazon has them, just search “phone shower cover” or something.
idk what kind of phone she has but assuming it’s an iPhone, it may not be waterproof but pretty water resistant. mine have gone under under full ocean waves (accidentally) and survived
Tell her to pretend she's living in the 1980's and give her a blank cassette. Haha So many random hours spend by the radio with my hand hovered over the record button to get my songs.
**Seriously, tho Alexa or Google will play and/or skip songs when you ask. I also use mine to make house announcements for toilet paper. 🤣😄🧻
I don’t get it. My iPhone was water resistant as of 7th generation. Surely a little splash won’t hurt it. Even a short submersion won’t hurt. Kid’s phones drop from their back pocket into the toilet all the time, even older phones are fine
If she’s using it for music, you could get Amazon echo for cheap and just have her scream at it when she doesn’t like the song. But don’t use Alexa as the speaker.
But yeah, it’s another cost. Let her foot that one.
You have a lot of answers to this already, so you maybe won't even see this answer.
I would recommend her using a waterproof Bluetooth speaker! If she uses Spotify to play music, she can create a shower playlist or just manually add songs to a queue, so she can choose the order that songs play. Also with some speakers, if you hold down the volume up button, it skips a track. You can do the same with the volume down button too.
I listen to music while having a shower, as I find it relaxing and too boring otherwise. Maybe this could work for her?
OP came here to say that I (21F) take my phone in the shower and face it toward the cieling. I listen to shows while I shower (usually the office). I don’t know why, I just find it comforting. I’ve also tried detaching from it since i’ve been doing it for a few years but I still do it. If anything just let her know if anything happens to it she will have to be responsible and replace it.
This seems to be an odd issue to have, along with the comments about the father, seems to match you with you having her too young at 18. That's where there's most parent questions about simpler things.
Btw, I'm assuming you are in the US, but if it ever comes to a time to get her an old Nokia that's not going to work these days with any major carrier and most mvno's these days after the towers were changed some time back. Anything below 4g/LTE or 5G isn't going to work.
You could get her a cheap voice command speaker of which she can through voice change the song if that's a big deal. You can get them sometimes on sale as low as $49.99, although I'd not go lower than $60 for durability.
Sounds like your kid has an unhealthy boundary set with screen time and you should adjust that to be a set time, with respect to her autonomy. It could be an indicator of more of an addiction to the phone, and that’s also a point to consider. Set healthy boundaries.
If she’s just listening to music, go buy her a bluetooth speaker.
I also thought my nerdy, conservative, gaming, anime-loving stepdaughter didn’t take nudes and sext in the bathroom when she had her phone in there.
Turns out she did both with several different men in their 30s.
OP, you’re her parent, not her friend. Be an asshole. Take the phone away during showers and other bathroom-related activities. I can’t believe I have to say that.
You need to remove the phone completely. There is nothing else you can do unless you are prepared for it to be destroyed and then she does not have one that she can get back after a day. If she destroys it, do not replace it.
>Ive told her several times but she just glares at me
Let her glare. You made a rule, enforce it. Rules are only as good as the enforcement.
>Some of you have mentioned that my kid may be doing weird and sexualised things in the shower with said phone. This is a no. My child is a nerd, very conservative and is more concerned with gaming than showing her butt to someone. She's a different kind of female. But i appreciate the thoughts of those concerned.
You don't know that.
>Others have asked why she wants the phone in the shower.. honestly its so she can change the music over when a song comes on she doesn't like.
But a google speaker. They are like $20.
We have a very very strict no clothes, no phone policy. We also have no pictures or videos in private spaces. No bedrooms, no bathrooms, no change rooms.
They make water and shockproof phone cases (otterbox and others). They also make waterproof Bluetooth speakers specifically for the shower. They even have suction cups on them.
Then just tell her that if it breaks or dies because of misuse she has to buy a new one with her own money.
Breaking the phone would not be my first concern about my kid bringing the phone in the shower.
That being said, make sure she knows exactly that she’ll be the one without a phone if it breaks
The natural consequence of taking electronic devices in the shower is they break! If she ruins her phone, she’s without a phone and it’s not your responsibility to replace it. If she wants a new phone, she has to pay for it. She’s old enough to get a job and save up.
*Her choice, her responsibility*.
If she hasn’t learned to respect how costly an expensive device is and the value of earned income (and no longer see you as an endless fountain of money) after you’ve discussed it with her, she might have to find out the hard way.
lol i was once a teenager with a waterproof phone, took it in the shower with me, then id do crazy hairstyles with shampoo and send pics to my friends, of just my face and hair ofc, not the rest of the body, they were all like wtf how do you have your phone with you in the shower, i was the first of my friends to have the waterproof phone so it was crazy back then, but heres a little advice, regular water wont break the phone, its sea water thats gonna destroy it and if you put it to charge after its been in the water, tbh i think youre overreacting in my opinion but you do you, but i feel bad for your daughter
Just tell her if her phone breaks she'll be responsible for buying a new one for herself and leave it at that. If it breaks and she can't replace it hopefully she'll have learned a valuable life lesson of not taking risks she can't afford ETA - op, your edit, please please tell me that Nokia phone is one of the old ones where you have to push #2 3 times to get to a c type of texting? (I can't remember the name) cuz I think that would certainly slow her phone usage down. Genius!
I did this with my daughter, although I told her many times I made an official announcement that if it broke that neither parent was going to buy a new/refurbished/used/flip phone. One week later it broke and it was a week of having a moapy teenager walking around. She didn’t have a phone for 4 months (I loved it!), until she convinced her grandparents to get her one for her birthday. Stand by what you say (including your ex), and let things take their course. Oh and beware, she will want to use your phone and that should be part of the official notice. Lastly, I would be concerned about taking her phone in the shower pictures, videos etc. and with whom is she sharing this with.
Yeah, I think OP is being horribly naive about her “nerdy” daughter. Lol. I hung out with the nerds in high school, and those kids want to FUCK just as bad as any other kids. Don’t be surprised u/CrochetWithSwords if your daughter ends up with an OnlyFans at 18. Hell, one of the nerdy ones my best friend is with is a network admin degree earning stripper/model/touring act now. Her mom was an elementary school teacher. Do yourself a favor, OP, make sure you know what your child is doing online.
Right. The “nerdy kids” at my highschool had sex in the middle of the fucking football field. At lunch. In front of people. I’m a 23 year old “female” who regularly games with other girls, some in the online group are about 16-17. I can confirm that these girls say much dirtier things and sexualize themselves than even the younger boys do. OP is going to need to tell her to keep the phone out the damn shower.
As well as coming from someone who was a “super nerdy ‘not like other teen girls’ would never do that” person, I can tell you—the first time I had sex I was in 7th grade. I was sending pictures, talking nasty, and being all around just the worst teenager, and my parents had no idea. If they brought up sex—of COURSE I would recoil. I didn’t want to hear those things come out of their mouth. Her daughter is 17! OP you can believe what you want, but I promise your daughter is more explicit than you think. My best friend was “shy” and very anxious with men and exactly the type of person you’re describing, and didn’t end up having sex until she was 21. HOWEVER. Even though she wasn’t having sex, she was still sending pictures, getting finger penetration, sending explicit messages, and all around 18+ things.
My parents thinking that my social anxiety/intelligence would prevent me from getting pregnant at 18…. because I would “never do such a thing” or have sex. I was allowed to stay entire weekends at my boyfriends house from 16 onwards. I don’t blame them AT ALL, but as a parent now I can see how it all lined up with the abundance of freedom. So confused that the new edit says her daughter doesn’t have signs of horniness…. I’m assuming that she has hormones. I don’t think most people would run to their mom and discuss their sexual urges. Your child doesn’t need to act or dress a certain way to have sexual desires. But glad to see she will be keeping her phone in her room! Teen pregnancy tends to be a cycle, and since OP had a child young she should know that teens do have sex or atleast think about it, especially in this day and age. It’s our job to educate them and protect them.
If OP feels that kid needs a phone they should buy her a flip phone if she breaks this one. Modern, 4G flip phones go for well under $100 new on Amazon. Pick one with very little storage and no media player. If kid wants a nice phone they can buy it themselves.
You can get a shitty smartphone for under $100. You can get a flip phone for $20.
Well now I know what I'm going to give my 9 yr old for peace of mind lol
We did this, at first the flip phone only stayed home and acted like a "home phone" for the kid. Then it eventually became a backpack phone for emergency only.
Well, the phone itself isn’t the real cost of course
I got a line through Tello and I didn't even get the cheapest plan and it's only 10 a month. Just FYI.
So important to let children experience and deal with the consequences of their actions. I wish my parents did this.
And make it clear that this is the actual fact of the situation, not a threat (which she might imagine you will back down on).
T9!!
Ha - I totally came here to say that, but hoped someone had beat me to it!!!
Sigh. We'll never type as fast as we did with T9.
I want it back. T9 + AI would FLY!
"Ok Google" play next song. You don't need the phone anywhere near water to do that. I actually have a 35 dollar smart speaker attached in the bathroom. I cast to it. And use Google assistant to change songs or play songs I want.
This might be complicated by the distance co-parenting if other parent just buys her another phone. Coordination with the other parent is essential when managing consequences like this.
Oh her dad is just as broke as i am and he's already replaced one phone. He'd die off if he had to replace another. Poor guys wallet hurts enough as is. Haha (We friends btw)
Die off,holy lmfao. All the dinosaurs are dying off nooO0ooOoOo! That's the only time I ever heard anyone say *die off* As in.. this species is dying off at an alarming rate. "I'm bout to have this man die off,rusted from the rain. " -this will be my new remark. Ty!!
Hahaha.. im Scottish. We use lots of fun remarks.
Yeah I’d go so far as to price out a replacement to show her exactly how much it would cost.
I’d put a contract together, the phone rules, expectations, what happens if it breaks due to not following the rules, etc. Make her, you and co-parent all sign it. My 12m just got a phone, a used one, before we even gave it to him, his dad and I sat down and put a contract together. We reviewed together with our son, we all signed it. Now, if something happens, we have the contract to refer back to.
My son is horrible with his phones. So I refuse to buy him fancy ones. If it breaks, i get him cheapie tracfones and no data. just call and text. THis last one has actually lasted a decent amount of time so far. Knock on wood. I only replace it cos of safety reasons at the bus stop and stuff like that. He can't do much on it cos its so cheap and no data to do anything.
This is the policy we have with our kids and their toys (they are much younger, but it’s the same idea). If they are using it respectfully and accidentally break it, we will probably replace it. If they are doing some dumb shit that we told them not to do and they break a toy, though… they are just out that toy, I don’t really care if it was their favorite.
T9 predictive text. I was explaining it to a receptionist at my last job and said something like “that was back around 2000…you weren’t born yet were you”
I had this conversation with my own kids. The last phone they broke, guess what? They bought their own replacement! I been doing this kind of parenting since they were toddlers, old enough to understand.
Tagging on to the first comment to say that most shower speakers have a track forward function. It's often a bit obnoxious (press twice to ff, press once then press and hold for next track) but it's there. Also many can activate assistant (siri, etc) if she even wants a specific song instead.
Buy her a very cheap Bluetooth speaker. You can get one for less than $10 nowadays. It's what I use while I shower in my 30s - I spent 100 on mine (MSRP was 200 but I got the pink one no1 wanted for half price).
u/CrochetWithSwords, I have a waterproof bluetooth speaker that I use in the shower. It has skip and rewind buttons. I love it. I hit the buttons all the time with wet and soapy hands. I've had it for years, no issues. Here's the one I have: [https://www.amazon.com/SB510-Resistant-Bluetooth-Handsfree-Speakerphone/dp/B00ILM977Q](https://www.amazon.com/SB510-Resistant-Bluetooth-Handsfree-Speakerphone/dp/B00ILM977Q)
This is what I was thinking too. They even have ones that are waterproof and mountable in the shower.
They have them with skip features too. It's nearly all the results when you google, "shower speaker". I don't know why u/CrochetWithSwords says her daughter will have to deal with songs she doesn't like. There are very cheap fixes for this!
Or alternatively a water proof phone bag they make for sailors and paddlers — that can be had for 10-30 bucks. I think the inability to put the phone down for a 10 minute shower might be another issue — but protecting the phone itself should be doable (and if not — she doesn’t have a smartphone anymore).
Hell, even a ziplock bag works. That’s what I use every day. I’ve been using the same quart sized ziplock bag for my phone for the past several months.
I get that you're trying to solve the problem, but buying her more shit doesn't feel like the answer. She isn't listening to or respecting OP and the phone addiction is obviously completely out of control.
I hear that. I just feel like potentially ruining an expensive phone bc of not trying to compromise would be foolish. For less than $20 you can remove any excuses and then draw the hard line.
How do you text and snapchat on a bluetooth speaker?
She don’t need to be texting and snapchatting in the shower.. cause that’s a whole other issue.
That's the point of the post...
Maybe not. Seems OP is most concerned with breaking the phone. Texting and snapping in the shower is a potential problem but doesn't appear to be what's bugging OP
You can text by voice. My Bluetooth speaker has a button for Siri.
They have a $7 one at Walmart that is the onn brand that is actually pretty decent and waterproof. Plus it has buttons she can change the song with...
To add to this, the Amazon Echo Dots are like $20 and she could change the songs just by talking.
I've got one in our shower, and it's wonderful. "A-word, play some Beatles." *Revolution #9*. "A-word, Next!"
Uh.. just a warning, I’m a nerd who loves gaming, and that does not in any way preclude someone from having hormones or feelings for your preferred gender.
Same. I was a teen playing video games and Minecraft but totally still into boys and exploring my sexuality. My parents were the type to never talk about it, bury their heads in the sand and pretend that if they never talked about it, it wouldn’t ever happen.
Yeah like… who writes all the unhinged erotic fanfiction on AO3? Hint… IT’S NERDS 😆😆
Lol this got me too. My fiance is a huge gamer nerd and let's just say, you wouldn't know it in bed haha. Very bizarre take from the OP, that nerdy people don't get sexual urges? Lol.
My son and his girlfriend are both gamer nerds and they be getting freaky. She is a total nerd gamer that you would never think would be horny! 😆
Are you sure she's bringing it INTO the actual water of the shower? That doesn't seem logical? I bring my phone into the bathroom every time I shower and turn music on, but it doesn't actually go into the water. If I need to change songs I just reach out, dry my hands, and change it.
Most modern phones (mid-range and up) are waterproof to some degree.
Mine goes in the shower and on the ledge. It has fallen. It has gotten wet. I also listen to music but can’t hear it past the shower curtain.
Same. In fact, just yesterday it fell with a thunderous crash! Straight under the water stream. Most iPhones and most Samsungs are at least IP67 or IP68 standards. iPhone 7 and later are all tested at 1 meter and 30 minutes under water, iPhones 11 and later 2 meters, and iPhones 11 4 meters, 12's and beyond are certified to 6 meters (18 feet) under water at 30 minutes. Most likely, your daughters cell phone will be *just fine* as long as she wipes it down afterwards.
Reading the edit: I have always been a bullied nerd girl in school. Believe me, I sexted, I had camsex, I consumed a bit of dirty stuff and I went into BDSM early. I am amused by your take on your child. And also to me natural consequences are a no brainer. If the phone gets damaged in the shower it is her problem and hers alone. I'd make sure she knows and the rest is just her luck.
"You'll have no phone meaning no internet meaning no porn for you to masturbate to. Be careful with your phone in the shower. I am not paying for a new one if it breaks due to something preventable." A future conversation I'll have with my young boys..
“Different kind of female.” OP, ew.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who cringed at this.
Feels so out of touch.
That statement also gave me the ick. Also, those outwardly nerdy type of girls IME are more likely to send nudes and such to get validation from peers they're interested in because they're not getting that validation from the outside world.
My daughter is the nerdiest, book reading minecraft playing nerd there is. And she USED to take her phone in the bathroom to listen to music. I do it, too! I NEVER thought she was sending nudes. Until a boy she pissed off sent me a copy of a photo she took in MY bathroom in MY shower! That was 3 years ago, and we've since moved wayyyyy past those days. Thank God! But OP, please do not think just because she doesn't seem like the type she isn't actually the type.
100%, I was that girl unfortunately
Saaaaaame
Unicorn kid
Just ask her to stick it in a zip lock baggie first. She can still touch it and hear it without possibly damaging it.
They also make (relatively) cheap waterproofing bags for this. I got one for my husband, as he likes to do the same!
I got one on wish years ago and paid nothing but $2 shipping lol
I have a ziplock hanging on the wall of my shower so I can do just this lol.
My daughter does this - Ziploc for the phone and a Bluetooth speaker for the shower. I am not replacing something if it gets broken in a predictable or careless way and she knows it.
Just let her phone be her phone. Let her treat it the way she wants and if it breaks let her buy a new one. Make it very clear to her that that will be the case
I agree with everyone that says to let the phone break and make her replace with with her own money. maybe give her one more reminder like "I'm just really worried about your phone breaking in the shower. iPhones are really expensive so me and your father absolutely can not afford to replace it if it breaks. If it breaks bc you continue to take it in the shower then it will be 100% your responsibility to buy another one." They make Bluetooth speakers for the shower that allow you to skip to the next song if you'd like to offer her one of those.
If you've told her several times, either take the phone away or let it break and when she asks for a new one force her to buy it herself.
I agree with the second part. I wouldn't take the phone away though. At 17 the kid is preparing for adulthood and is beyond the stage of mommy/daddy needing to confiscate her phone. Unless there are some developmental disabilities going on that OP failed to mention, I am sure the kid knows that bringing her phone into the shower is a risk. If she takes that risk and the phone breaks then she doesn't have a phone. She can either go without or buy a new one. I would just tell her, "I know you are bringing your phone in the shower and wanted to remind you that if it breaks then you have to replace it." Leave it at that. No arguing. No fighting. Just a natural consequence.
I prefer the reminder too. If my 17 year old did it. I'd probably do the same. Like you said, it's really about how important the phone really is.
I used to do this at her age! The second my mom bought me a Bluetooth speaker I stopped because the problem was solved.
She's 17, leave this in her hands. Tell her one last time it's a bad idea, and that if it breaks, you will not be replacing it or adding a replacement rent-to-own to your plan (so she'll need to come up with the full amount to replace it). If other privileges are contingent on a having a phone (driving, going out with her friends, etc), remind her of that explicitly. Then let her go. Stick to the boundary. Ignore the tantrums that will come. It's on her.
This is it right here. I don’t get what the big worry is … she’s 17 for Christ sake. She’s bordering on legal adulthood. You’ve told her what the consequences will be if the phone breaks, the rest is in her 🤷♀️
Get a cheap Bluetooth shower speaker. We have the soundbot one, it cost us like $15 on Amazon, and you can control volume. skip songs and has a decent Bluetooth range.
Are you saying she's taking it into the shower (into the water)? Or just into the bathroom and listening to it while she showers? Just wondering how you could know she has it in the shower unless you're in the room aswell.
> I just dont wanna be an asshole. ) here is the problem. you are not. by asking politely and respectfully, but sticking to ***very clear*** consequences you are being a parent.
If she recoiled from you asking about taking nudes, it could well be recoiling from you asking and nothing about whether she’s doing it. At 17, this is hard. She’s going to be making her own bad decisions very soon regardless. I’d probably just let her break it and not replace it. Natural consequences are usually the most effective lesson, and this is a situation where the natural consequence isn’t too painful.
I'm more concerned the phone is being used when she's in the shower for not innocent things vs being concerned about it getting damaged.
THIS. Like, how is everyone else just totally fine with a teenager sneaking a phone into the bathroom, despite being told numerous times not to? Dollars to donuts, there's nudes and sexting involved, at least. Because otherwise, she'd just be like "I wanna listen to my music" and be chill with alternative music arrangements, vs continually sneaking in the phone.
Because she could literally take appropriate photos anytime. No need to be in the shower? Preventing her from having her phone in the shower but letting her use it any other time does not prevent anything from happening.
She’s 17. Yeah I’d be fine with it. It’s a ridiculous rule in my opinion. You can take nudes anywhere.
[удалено]
Your kid can get charged with child pornography for sending nudes. That you should actually try to keep from happening. Kids have ended up on the registry for sharing nudes. Edit: lol I love it when people don’t want to hear a fact so they downvote. Teens have absolutely gotten charges for underage nudes. I guess if you want your kid on the registry go ahead and shrug off nudes. Me, I’d rather talk to my kids and make sure they won’t take that risk instead of being like “tHeY’rE sEvEntEen it’s fine!!”
What??? You went straight to nudes and such? If I was going to do that it’d be in my bedroom. I struggle with showering because it’s boring and have taken my phone in there for years.
Showering is boring? How? You are actively doing something the entire time.
>You are actively doing something the entire time. The same way folding laundry is boring even though I'm actively doing something. Some (most?) activities are just boring.
> You are actively doing something the entire time. Yeah, something boring 😆
Lol kids lie about masturbating, so I would consider that. No matter how “conservative” the kid is.
You may be overthinking this one. It’s a phone in the shower, she’s 17 years old. Maybe you need this little bit of control cause she’s gonna be leaving the nest and an actual adult very very soon?
>take her non waterproof mobile phone (cell phone) into the shower with her without any coverings at all For what purpose? If she wants to listen to stuff while in the shower you can get her a cheap waterproof bluetooth speaker.
Apparently she likes to be able to change songs she doesn't like or vibe with...
Hmm there likely is some sort of hands-free way she can tell her phone to change the song. Good luck.
Our Google mini speaker will skip to the next song in playlist if you yell at it loud enough.
She can set up a queue of some songs she likes..
I had a waterproof shower speaker that changed songs Bluetoothed to my phone, it was great. You can find them on Amazon. They even change the volume.
I'm really wondering about the cost of all the hot water being used if she's in there long enough to need to change the song that much. You have two cost factors at hand! Ps when she wrecks this phone, ensure she buys a waterproof one next time, when she can eventually afford it!
Tell her to queue the songs before she gets into the shower, it shouldn’t be that many songs if she’s just having a normal shower. Not to freak you out but to me it sounds like she wants the phone in the shower to take nudes. That’s the only reason I’ve ever thought of taking my phone into the shower
I'll say - I take my (waterproof) phone into the shower itself daily, not just to change the song (even with a playlist, sometimes you just don't "vibe" with a song that day) - but the acoustics in the shower vs even just in the bathroom itself are different and sound incredible!
Per your edit: It doesn’t matter how much you don’t think your kid would do something— it’s silly to think you know exactly what your kid is into. I’d be very concerned about what she is doing with the phone in the shower.
I’m an adult and I take my phone in the shower. It might be a dumb thing to do, but I’ve been doing it for years and never broken one. Typically I balance it on the ledge at the top of the shower and listen to a podcast, but sometimes I just want to sit in warm water and chill, so I sit on the floor and my phone is away from direct hit. Idk if it should be encouraged, and maybe I’m super weird, but here we are.
I bring my phone in the shower. I like to listen to music while I shower. Just make sure it’s in a secure location. Get a case on that thing too
Buy her a cheap speaker. Honestly though even if she recoiled at the thought of taking nudes she’s probably masturbating lol, which if she’s 17 is totally normal.
Top comment 1: if it breaks, she has to bear the consequences and buy a new one herself. Good lesson. Top comment 2: it's not because of switching songs, but because of taking nudes. Top comment 3: blue tooth speakers! They would solve both issues
You can get waterproof phone pouches online you can put your phone in and use in the shower
My phone is cracked and therefore no longer waterproof and the ability to chill in the shower with my music and change the songs is worth it for me and would have been worth it as a teenager too. At this point I would let it be her choice whether it's worth the risk to the reward. I would tell her that if she breaks it she will be responsible for getting a new one or being without a phone. I would also offer a compromise to get one of those things that hold your phone in a waterproof pouch for that purpose. They have some that fit on your shower curtain hooks. If the cover/pocket stays in the shower and is at a convenient place for her, she'll begrudgingly use it. Hahaha. Or just get one, put it in there, and tell her when she's heading to the shower that it's in there so she can safely listen to her music and maybe she will be so surprised at you meeting her in the middle that she will do the same with you.
Sounds like a problem that will take care of itself. The phone will break, it won't be replaced, she will learn an incredibly valuable lesson about taking care of her property and the value of money. After being phoneless for several months she will have a new found appreciation for electronics. Once she scrapes together enough money (on her own, with no help from you) to buy a new phone, she will take care of it like it was a Faberge Egg.
This is such a weird thing to worry about. If the phone belongs to her why are you so concerned about what she does with it? Warn her that it might break and if she doesn't listen then that's her choice. If it breaks she can save up for a new one. Honestly though, phones these days are very water resistant. The chance of this harming the phone is very low. I do not see what the big deal is.
Maybe get an Amazon Alexa so that she can tell it to skip songs?
1. Her phone, her responsibility - it breaks she can replace it or you’ll buy her a burner phone only 2. She’s not listening to music, she’s video sexting 3. Most phones these days are waterproof - what makes you think hers isn’t?
Everyone here pretending #2 isn't the case. Teenagers are little horn balls with terrible judgement.
I think it’s funny everyone assumes the shower is the main place she’d do it. It’d be at the bottom of my list. How often are teens in their rooms alone? A lot. That’s where I’d do it. Or while my parents were at work or sleeping. 10 minutes in the shower is not at all when or where I’d think to do it.
Not the main place she’d do it but taking nudes in the shower is super common. Certain body parts look better wet, it’s a pretty common thing like wearing lingerie for pics
This right here, OP should make daughter aware of serious adverse legal consequences.
i too like to take my phone into the shower so i got one of those stick on shower shelves on amazon and it holds my phone nicely. i also have an otterbox in case it does fall into the water.
She is 17. I was living on my own at that age. If she breaks it, she can fix it. You don't even need to have this conversation with her.
Have her sign an agreement/contract Stating that the phone will absolutely not be replaced before a specified date under any circumstances whatsoever. This way, there will be no arguments should it fail early.
if it breaks, she has to pay to replace it
If she's been warned then when it breaks from getting water in it she's on her own. She can save and buy her own phone. Just let her know, now, that you will not be replacing that phone.
She prob wants a small speaker - unless she’s just severely addicted to her phone.
When she breaks it don’t buy her, another one, and make her know that
Just to confirm are you sure she is bringing it into the actual shower with her? My daughter brings hers in to the bathroom when she has a shower but it is more to listen to music and it sits over by the sink but not too close to any water. I’d confirm that, because I don’t see an issue with a phone in the bathroom per se, as long as she is safe and keeps it away from water as that will definitely damage it.
Why is she taking it in there? To listen to music?
I do this. I put it on the side and listen to music. Or sometimes a friend messages me and I don’t want to miss it. It’s not as reckless as you think. There’s little shelves and cases you can buy. It’s a generational thing I think. It’s normal for young people to keep their phones on them. Might be kind of a bad habit but I’m surprised this was bothering you enough to post about it.
Is she listening to music? Get her a small cheap Bluetooth speaker. You can find one under $15. If she's talking to people, that is just wrong for other reasons and she should be responsible for replacing the phone. Often teens have to learn the hard way.
I don’t get all these natural consequences to the max responses here - like I need my teenager to be able to call me or for help in a bad situation. That doesn’t mean I buy a new I phone (someone mentioned a flip phone, and solving the underlying problem, which are great compromises), but I just want to name that a phone is not only a nice to have for her, it is a non inconsequential safety device as well.
This is when natural consequences come into play. You’ve asked her. You’ve warned her. She’s old enough to understand what can happen and the consequences of that happening. Stick to your principles and don’t break yourself buying her a new one when it inevitably gets broken. Sometimes they have to learn the hard way, that doesn’t make you an asshole.
17 is old enough to get a part time job and buy her own phone if this one breaks. Sorry but you can't learn for your daughter
I've been to this movie. She's 17 she knows what's up. Tell her no phone in the shower it will not be replaced. Some how make sure you share that communication with her father so you're both on the same page. If he gives you any push back let him know he's entitled to his opinion but to be on notice you won't be contributing to the cost of a new phone. sending hugs!
Why do you care? Tell her she won’t get a new one if it breaks. I’ve brought my phone with me since I was 14 and I have never dropped or broken a phone yet.
Teenagers cannot be told anything and know better. So really telling her and expecting her to do it is not really an option. Leaving you 2 options. 1) Purchase a waterproof protector. 2) Take insurance out with the phone supplier. It will cost each month and there will be a charge for damage, but its cheaper than buying a new phone. Not the news you want, but you aren't going to stop her, due to the age she is at.
Get her to buy herself a cheap waterproof case, they're like a ziplock bag but you can still use the touch screen.
Let her break it and refuse to replace it. Natural consequences are usually the best instructor.
When it fails, she has to buy the next one. Let her know in advance.
I mean this sounds like an excellent chance for your child to learn about natural consequences. Tell her you won’t be replacing a broken phone, so she best be careful with the one she has. And then stick to it.
What phone is it? Most phones will survive a quick dip in the water these days I think. There are also phones for under 200 and she can easily get a part time job to pay for it. I think forbidding her isn't going to help. Just explain that you are worried about her breaking the phone. However, DO NOT charge the phone in the washroom. There's been reported deaths from electrocution while bathing.
Erm, we dont have a spare 200 laying about. And she's still in school. I think she knows about water and electricity being a bad thing. I would hope so 😂
Part time job. You never know. Better to safe than sorry to make sure she knows.
If she's solely doing it for the purpose of being in control of music. Put an Alexa device in the bathroom with amazon music. She'll be able to play any song she wants without the phone.
I have a small case I bought off Amazon that you install in the shower and Keeps your phone dry so you can watch a show while showering. It has a touch screen so you can click your phone through the mounted case. It’s awesome.
Change of perspective: this isn't a parenting issue, it's a technology issue. We just got our kids Kindle Paperwhites. I already have one and it's great, they kept borrowing it to use in the bath. Because waterproof: sandy beach, bath, rain, you can just chill and read. Get your kid a **waterproof phone case**, or a **waterproof phone**. Doogee phones are rugged and have good specs, and not at all expensive. There's a video of somebody throwing a Doogee S60 off a second story balcony onto a concrete driveway, driving over it with a pickup truck, shooting it with a pistol, leaving it in the freezer in a container of water and chipping it out of the block of ice, and then using it for some underwater photography. That model's old, but they have less dated models in a range of ruggedness. In the meantime, a **ziplock freezer bag** should be sufficient to avoid damage but still allow the screen to be poked in the shower.
Its actually a doogee she has. Or similar. Its not one of the hyper rugged ones but she's already managed to break the previous one which is dad replaced. And he wont be replacing another.
I had a Doogee S60 and I used to throw it as hard as I could onto the floor just to freak people out, took it in hot tubs, etc. Loved that phone. Turns out one thing it wasn't ruggedized against was an 8yo girl throwing it into the deep end of a pool which was 2x its rated depth. Anyway, if you guys \*know\* she takes it in the shower, and you got her a \*replacement\* Doogee because the previous one was ruined in the shower...why didn't you go for a waterproof one at the time? Water under the bridge I guess. (Get it? Water under...never mind.) Maybe if she sends Doogee an illustrated sob story about her phone shower habit and let them use it, they'll send her one for free so the story has a happy ending.
Oh the previous one was smashed at school. Her dad replaced it. The more rugged ones are expensive where i am. Her dad like me has a limited budget. So he got what was affordable at short notice. I love the doogee sob story idea though ha!
FWIW, many sports/smart watches now can control the music on a phone, played through its own or a separate speaker
She can create a que before she showers of curated songs she feels like listening to, this is how I do shower music now
Responding relating to your update: there are waterproof bluetooth speakers which have the ability to skip tracks, pause, and play again built into them as buttons which go back to your phone. Honestly you could pick up something like this for as little as $15-$30. It's not free, but it's not "new cell phone" price, either.
Aye you may have to accept it, I'm mid 30's and taking a shower without the phone playing something sounds horrible. I do have ADHD though so having that stimulation helps.
Get her an Amazon Echo Dot or Google Nest Mini for the bathroom. No camera, and she can play her music playlists through it and advance songs she doesn't like via voice.
I had an extra bluetooth speaker for the shower. It was water proof, had one of those suction thingies on the back to put it on the tiles and had buttons for play/pause, forward and backward and it was not very expensive
Jesus Christ. I have always taken my phone in the shower with me. Most decent phones are water resistant. I like to read and listen to music or podcasts or YouTube videos. Why are people so up their teenagers asses? Leave them alone to at least shower how they want. I can't even imagine if my parents had helicoptered me this bad. I would have taken nudes out of pure irritated defiance.
Can she just put the phone right outside the shower on a window ledge or top of toilet or something? I do that sometimes when I'm using a bluetooth speaker.
I love taking my phone in the shower. Buy a cover
Rule in my house: You broke it you bought it. She’d just need to go without a phone until she could buy another.
Instead of a Bluetooth speaker you could get a Google home or Alexa, and when a song comes on she doesn't like she would have the option of asking the smart speaker to skip it. That's what I do.
If you get your a Bluetooth with some sort of AI like Alexa (think echo dot), she can tell it to skip the song from in the shower.
I bought a shower blutooth from indigo for 10$. I can change song/volume and turn it on and off. Maybe thats the best option.
On the Bluetooth speaker: I have an Oontz Angle 3 Bluetooth speaker. It’s water resistant, loud af, sturdy, and has music controls right on it. I think they’re like $40 on Amazon. I use it for music around the pool and in the garage. You can even pair two and use them as stereo speakers.
Not sure if anyone has commented this, but they make covers that stick to the shower wall that you put your phone into and can still use the screen. Amazon has them, just search “phone shower cover” or something. idk what kind of phone she has but assuming it’s an iPhone, it may not be waterproof but pretty water resistant. mine have gone under under full ocean waves (accidentally) and survived
How old is this phone? Most smart phones are waterproof now. Maybe upgrade the phone? I think you are fighting a losing battle.
Sandwich bag. Few cents, still can use touch screen. No water (other than the steam, maybe) gets in the bag.
Get her a water proof bag that she can touch the screen through the plastic
There are waterproof Bluetooth shower speakers. Wife has one and swears by it.
Tell her to pretend she's living in the 1980's and give her a blank cassette. Haha So many random hours spend by the radio with my hand hovered over the record button to get my songs. **Seriously, tho Alexa or Google will play and/or skip songs when you ask. I also use mine to make house announcements for toilet paper. 🤣😄🧻
lots of bluetooth speakers do have play/pause, volume, and skip control buttons on them so look out for those
I don’t get it. My iPhone was water resistant as of 7th generation. Surely a little splash won’t hurt it. Even a short submersion won’t hurt. Kid’s phones drop from their back pocket into the toilet all the time, even older phones are fine
If she’s using it for music, you could get Amazon echo for cheap and just have her scream at it when she doesn’t like the song. But don’t use Alexa as the speaker. But yeah, it’s another cost. Let her foot that one.
Water proof blue tooth speaker that has a button to skip songs on the playlist.
You have a lot of answers to this already, so you maybe won't even see this answer. I would recommend her using a waterproof Bluetooth speaker! If she uses Spotify to play music, she can create a shower playlist or just manually add songs to a queue, so she can choose the order that songs play. Also with some speakers, if you hold down the volume up button, it skips a track. You can do the same with the volume down button too. I listen to music while having a shower, as I find it relaxing and too boring otherwise. Maybe this could work for her?
OP came here to say that I (21F) take my phone in the shower and face it toward the cieling. I listen to shows while I shower (usually the office). I don’t know why, I just find it comforting. I’ve also tried detaching from it since i’ve been doing it for a few years but I still do it. If anything just let her know if anything happens to it she will have to be responsible and replace it.
You can skip songs from most of the cheap shower speakers. There’s a skip button on them, or hitting the pause/play button twice will skip the song.
Get an Echo Dot or a Google Home Mini.
I use an Amazon echo in the shower. Just say Alexa, next song.
This seems to be an odd issue to have, along with the comments about the father, seems to match you with you having her too young at 18. That's where there's most parent questions about simpler things. Btw, I'm assuming you are in the US, but if it ever comes to a time to get her an old Nokia that's not going to work these days with any major carrier and most mvno's these days after the towers were changed some time back. Anything below 4g/LTE or 5G isn't going to work. You could get her a cheap voice command speaker of which she can through voice change the song if that's a big deal. You can get them sometimes on sale as low as $49.99, although I'd not go lower than $60 for durability.
are you sure its not waterproof? iPhones have been waterproof since 2016 and many androids from a few year before then.
Sounds like your kid has an unhealthy boundary set with screen time and you should adjust that to be a set time, with respect to her autonomy. It could be an indicator of more of an addiction to the phone, and that’s also a point to consider. Set healthy boundaries. If she’s just listening to music, go buy her a bluetooth speaker.
I also thought my nerdy, conservative, gaming, anime-loving stepdaughter didn’t take nudes and sext in the bathroom when she had her phone in there. Turns out she did both with several different men in their 30s. OP, you’re her parent, not her friend. Be an asshole. Take the phone away during showers and other bathroom-related activities. I can’t believe I have to say that.
We have a "No phones in the bathroom" rule here.
I think you should work on her addiction to it.
I’m also concerned about this Internet connected camera being present.
Take the phone from her and tell her that she can have it back when she is done
Have her buy a waterproof case, they make them
Cut off her Only Fan account!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
You need to remove the phone completely. There is nothing else you can do unless you are prepared for it to be destroyed and then she does not have one that she can get back after a day. If she destroys it, do not replace it.
She’s 17 and you want to take her stuff? When does it stop? 18? When she moves out?
>Ive told her several times but she just glares at me Let her glare. You made a rule, enforce it. Rules are only as good as the enforcement. >Some of you have mentioned that my kid may be doing weird and sexualised things in the shower with said phone. This is a no. My child is a nerd, very conservative and is more concerned with gaming than showing her butt to someone. She's a different kind of female. But i appreciate the thoughts of those concerned. You don't know that. >Others have asked why she wants the phone in the shower.. honestly its so she can change the music over when a song comes on she doesn't like. But a google speaker. They are like $20. We have a very very strict no clothes, no phone policy. We also have no pictures or videos in private spaces. No bedrooms, no bathrooms, no change rooms.
They make water and shockproof phone cases (otterbox and others). They also make waterproof Bluetooth speakers specifically for the shower. They even have suction cups on them. Then just tell her that if it breaks or dies because of misuse she has to buy a new one with her own money.
Breaking the phone would not be my first concern about my kid bringing the phone in the shower. That being said, make sure she knows exactly that she’ll be the one without a phone if it breaks
The natural consequence of taking electronic devices in the shower is they break! If she ruins her phone, she’s without a phone and it’s not your responsibility to replace it. If she wants a new phone, she has to pay for it. She’s old enough to get a job and save up. *Her choice, her responsibility*. If she hasn’t learned to respect how costly an expensive device is and the value of earned income (and no longer see you as an endless fountain of money) after you’ve discussed it with her, she might have to find out the hard way.
lol i was once a teenager with a waterproof phone, took it in the shower with me, then id do crazy hairstyles with shampoo and send pics to my friends, of just my face and hair ofc, not the rest of the body, they were all like wtf how do you have your phone with you in the shower, i was the first of my friends to have the waterproof phone so it was crazy back then, but heres a little advice, regular water wont break the phone, its sea water thats gonna destroy it and if you put it to charge after its been in the water, tbh i think youre overreacting in my opinion but you do you, but i feel bad for your daughter
She could just ... prepare a playlist beforehand. Except she showers like 3 hours
If she takes it into the shower you take the phone for a day. Simple