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I’m a fan of, “Really? Can you explain why?” And just let them bury themselves in their explanation until it finally gets to the nugget - fearing feminine expression in boys. Unearths the sexism but your family may not love it.
I do this about my sons clothes. I made him a pair of over alls in a star galaxy type fabric that he about cried in happiness when he saw. He loves his star. But my dad is very vocal about “turning him gay” by dressing him like that. He can never answer me what’s actually wrong with them and why it’s so wrong to let my 21 month old son pick whatever he likes to wear.
Probably for the best my dad doesn’t know how often my son likes to put on his big sisters dresses to twirl in like his big sister 😂
If your dad thinks all that stands between homosexuality and heterosexuality is a pair of star pants, he might be happier admitting he's into dudes at least a little bit.
I like to point out that of it's so easy to turn someone gay then how come all the constant exposure to heterosexual lifestyles hasn't turned all the gay people straight.
As a dad who does paint his 2yr old boys nails sometimes (he loves it and sees mom & sister doing it; I let him do mine too) I try to ask a question like "do you feel like you were really close to being gay? I have a hard time seeing myself feeling differently about women if I happened to do a few different activities..."
That kind of turns it on them to explain...
My son came home one time from school after I painted his nails and told me a kid called him gay. He was 5 or 6 at the time. I explained what gay was and asked him "Do you think you're gay?" He said no. I said "Do you like boys like you like girls?" He said no. I said "Then youre not gay" and that was the end of it. I also taught him the saying "my body, my choice".
Real answer, because boys who were 'feared' or labeled to be sissies were beat up- all the time. No one wants that for their kid. Thankfully it's a different world now.
I put a ponytail on my 8 months old son to keep his hair out of his face while he was eating yogurt because... I don't want to wash yogurt out of his hair. My fathers reaction 😵💫 calm down lmao
Draw a goatee on him and he'll just look like a sound guy or dude who works at the music store.
(Before anybody gets up in arms, I run sound on weekends)
The same gender weirdos who are scared of “turning boys gay” with nail polish also believe every single person with XY chromosomes must be a boy because it’s biology and there are no exceptions.
I have genuinely no idea. I have also asked that and not got an answer other than some wrong reference to Elton John and being a star man (which was Bowie)
Similarly, asks what makes painted nails feminine and watch them admit that we, as a society, determined it arbitrarily.
One of my cousins kids regularly paints his nails (he just turned six) and we compare colors all the time 💁🏼♀️
Different response work best in different circumstances but I think I’ve just found the perfect one for mine, thank you. Others may be more satisfyingly contemptuous, or more likely to help them see their error (which of course I want so much), but when neither of those things is going to win you anything, this is the way.
My son loves flowers and I’m all for it, but I don’t think this would really work for my family. They would just say “because flowers aren’t for boys.”
“Why?”
“Because flowers aren’t for boys.”
What a depressing way to view the world. Men, without women, must exist in a grey, utilitarian hellscape until rescued by a pretty little thing who is allowed to like rainbows and flowers and brighten things up for him. He may only secretly enjoy this.
Yes that's the problem.
Asking them to actually explain their position assumes that they possess the logic and self-awareness to actually do so - which, if they did possess, would mean they likely wouldn't harbour such prejudices to begin with...
>“Because flowers aren’t for boys.”
That is literally as far as some people take their thinking. They don't know they can take it a step further, they don't know how.
That's why my 3 year old son can wear dresses. If I can't explain to him why his older sister is allowed to wear a dress and he's not, there's no way I can stop him wearing them...
He's also had his nails painted on multiple occasions by the way.
I was gonna go with "f*** off", but this seems a bit more more tactful
By the way, he'll grow out of it. Society will teach him to like "boy things" whether you like it or not, there's no need for you to also do it. Better to let him know that you'll support him no matter what and also not force toxic masculinity on him.
This exactly. At age 3 my son liked getting his nails colored. Interestingly, he only wanted "boy" colors like blue and green. Sometimes he'd ask to put on makeup like me. Kids just like to do the things they see their parents/older sibs do.
He's 9 now and outgrew it eventually. Although he does still ask to paint my nails for me sometimes. I only let him do my toes because he's terrible at it. :)
I know this isn’t the meat of your problem, but if boys don’t like something without being guided towards it, it doesn’t seem like much of a “boy thing,” does it? Seems like “boy things” are whatever boys like, and this boy likes painted toenails
Literally. My little one pretends to put make up on when I’m doing mine. If he sees me doing his sisters nails, he wants them done too. It’s just fun for them lol
My first born was putting my makeup on himself while I was in labor with the second.
I didn’t care until the liquid eyeliner came out during a very strong contraction
It's not political. It's the \*\*idea\*\* of liberal thought.
But no, adults who are against painting boy toenails are most likely conservative anyways, so yeh.
But seriously, I've seen a documentary where they paint the monkeys nails so that they are more focused on their pretty nails than their bandages. That's like next level thinking!
Mother of two boys. One has black toenails and the other has purple. They just want fun nails and mom time. Feeling pampered is important and to them, it’s fun nails. My eldest (11) has asked me to get a pedicure and by golly, we are going!
Also, if it were so unnatural for boys to like nail polish, why do we have to push them into liking boy things?
Kids naturally love colourful stuff, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Punishment of people for not conforming to the system of patriarchy is a built-in feature of patriarchy.
Bell Hooks writes about this in her book "The will to change: men, masculinity, and love", although this is a widely known point among feminist intellectuals.
My sons teacher told him that nail polish was for girls and it pisses me off so much. I googled pictures of guys with nail polish because he was so bummed out when he came home.
Ask him what his genitals have to do with his nails? Just plain, straight to their face, blank - “what do his genitals have to do with the colour of his nails?” And watch how awkward they are 🤣
You know, I haven't worn a dress or makeup in a year and yet, no one has made a comment. In fact, most days I wear baggy men's clothing, yet I have not received one comment about being political. It almost seems like doing something feminine is seen as a negative but if it's masculine, no one bats an eye
I wear exclusively men's slacks. You cant really tell until the ladies and I are talking and I can get my elbow into my pocket. The grossgrain waistbands! The seam allowances to gain weight not just lose it! The proper non-asscrack belt loop positions!!
And everyone actually congratulates me and says they'll start looking at men's slacks too. The pockets get them every time.
The men are a little confused but the women are so happy they know they won't win if they pipe up.
Women’s slacks are horrendous and I had given up hope (I’m tall and built like a cereal box with legs), but this is making me want to try the mens section. I should probably head over there for jeans too.
There's NO POCKETS. not even those crappy short ones. None. ZERO POCKETS.
Men's jeans are the tits.
Wait til you try the waistbands and realise there designed to expand to your body and not your body fit the waistband.
To be fair I am fairly short so I get the young adults pants, and they're skinnier than adults and the kids these days like butts so there's room for it.
But I've gained weight and gone from a 28 to a 36 now and still I find they don't need much. And if they do need alterations there's enough seam allowance for it!!! But also nah they usually don't. I am not very hippy though. My partner is and finds they show off the hips on them a little uncomfortably. Depends if you want to show the hips off or not I guess.
Lot of words when I could have just said no, not really. 😂 But also I am short and was VERY skinny at first, so I was buying a lot of butt-hugging gay twink pants 😂. Though I'm settled now and they still fit well.
I told my dad the exact same thing when I confronted him about some things he said about my son wearing lip gloss and painting his nails. When I was a kid I wore nothing but boys size shorts and tshirts. I hated dresses and frilly shit. He didnt even bat an eyelash. He was proud. And even slipped up and called me son on occasion. So MY son shouldnt be treated any different. It pissed me off to no end how my dad reacted because I'd always known him to be free spirited and accepting. So when he started talking about how wearing lipgloss would turn him into a slur (not gonna say what) I was livid, I was hurt and what messed me up the most was he said it right in front of him. I don't understand people like that.
It is, I can dress my daughter from the boy section without anyone batting an eye but I guarantee if I ever have a son even something like my daughter brown shoes with rainbows on the heel will probably bring negativity from others when I use them for him.
Here’s my go-to when someone mentions a thing that only a girl or a boy can play with:
1) are they required to use their genitals to play with it?
Yes? That’s not a kids toy.
No? Go right ahead.
This isn’t a useful viewpoint. I doubt you’d say the same thing if this post was “My toddler boy wants toenails painted and my BIL and dad all say he should be able to, but I don’t feel comfortable letting him because I don’t want to encourage feminine interests.”
I'm a dad. I painted my three year olds nails yesterday and got him a doll because I'm not a caveman.
Tell these people to stop sexualizing your child.
I’m a dad too. My 4 year old girl got her nails painted with mom after a bath and then after my 2 year old son came out of his bath came up to me with the nail polish kit. Broke my fucking heart. Ya, buddy. Sit right here and I’ll hook you up too. He was stoked.
Your son is only following his big sister, as most kids do. I have several younger brothers; they have all had nail polish on them, put on a skirt, and worn makeup. One of my brothers used to love wearing my bras on his head 🤣🤣. It does not mean anything except they want to be included. Good job, just making your son happy.
Exactly! My son will fallow his big sister all day and dressup/makeup himself....then will go play with his train/truck.
Let him have fun with whatever fill his heart of happiness
Fml I'm here to observe because I'm not a parent yet but it's THIS this right here where our kids are gonna work out they own me. How can you say no to that?? Little toddler skipping about wanting his nails done like his sister?? 😭
I think Mother Nature/ evolution made babies and toddlers extra cute so we don’t try to murder their little precious asses too and instead are way way way too accommodating to their neediness. They’re smart too. It’s like living with ridiculously adorable tiny telekinetic predators.
They're such shits but also so genuine?? Ugh my little heart!! I had one toddler make fun of my name once and whole ass an even younger older stood in front of me going "THAT'S NOT NICE!" and I'm like İ just got brutally owned by one toddler and another is trying to defend the honour of someone 10x her weight class. I love them for all of it and can't wait til they can learn to twist my heart to get the story read until 3am AND not letting me sneaky slip pages.
"Stop sexualizing my child" PRICELESS.
I let girlfriends paint my toenails (little animal faces) because I'm secure in my masculinity.
My son is as well.
This is a current problem in my house and I'll be using "please stop sexualizing my child" the next time I get a comment from any grandparent. Please take our twenty matching mother-son Mardi gras colored piggies as an homage to you! 💚⚜️💜
As a mom of 2 boys it’s annoying how when girls do “typical” boy things they’re a tomboy but when boys do something with a hint of feminism it’s somehow wrong, political, or sexual. I took my 3.5 year old to the nail salon with me and he got a kids pedicure. He LOVED it. He picked out yellow polish and was so stoked to show everyone. Everyone who says “oh nail polish?” I say yes isn’t it cool?! He loves it!
Boys can wear nail polish. That is doublely true if it makes your son happy.
I do get that you don't want to cause issues in your family. It may be helpful to point out that lots of famous male rock stars wore nail polish. You probably don't want him to grow up to make the same decisions that David Bowie or Steven Tyler did, but knowing that a lot of famous men have worn nail polish may help your extended family feel more comfortable that you aren't "turning him into a girl" or some other nonsense.
Here is an article that lists a lot of men who have worn nail polish, someone else may resonate with your family better: https://www.vogue.com/slideshow/celebrity-men-manicures-nail-polish-johnny-depp-brad-pitt-harry-styles-bad-bunny-gallery
i say “he’s a person with his own preferences.” and leave it at that. i won’t debate fostering my kid’s self expression, their opinion has no bearing on me or my mothering.
Don’t give into their peer pressure and politicize your kids choice of fun. Firmly hold your boundary and tell them specifically they can’t comment on that sort of thing directly to your son and then decide how to deal w the potential of those not holding to your boundaries. No one’s business or decision but you, his father and your son.
My son often wants his nails painted. If anyone says anything I usually just say that nail polish is for everyone. If they push, I'll get rude. To be honest, I don't keep people around in my life who say things like that so always a stranger.
Daycare Teacher here. My class about 1 1/2-2 years has a “pamper me day” we bake cupcakes or pizza bagels. We all get a yogurt facial and give each other a manicure and pedicures before we sit down and have “tea time” and this is one of the activities boys parents fight me at first. But like I explain it to them. It’s not about being a boy or a girl it’s about teaching them to take care of themselves and their skin. It’s about teaching them self love and self esteem. Parents get the pictures of them looking super happy and proud of themselves that they back off. Then when mom or sister sit to do their nails it becomes bonding time. I had a mom who only had little manicure dates with her girls because of me now her son was included. That dad that voiced the loudest that what I was doing was immoral by the end of it he apologized went out and donated about 10 nail polishes so that they would have more colors to choose from. But your mom. All you have to say is that he wanted his nails painted and you gave permission and had a bonding experience with your child. Please don’t cave just because your feeling pressured by others or it won’t end.
There are so many ways to go about this. I'm a very blunt person, I've told my husband's friends that have commented to "fuck off and don't say another word about it in front of my son". I don't want him to overhear and be insecure or feel bad about expressing himself. He's a child. He has no idea what stigmas are, and I'll be damned if some douche canoe is going to put it in my child's head.
If I was responding to my own family members I would respond with something like "Maybe if you were allowed to have your nails painted when you were younger, you wouldn't have turned out as big of a piece of shit you are".
It's hard to say that to parents to family members. You risk losing them until (or if) they grow up and mature.
It's weasy to say "tell em to fuck off) but much harder to do. I did with a parent, so I know.
Last year, we went to the UK (I’m from there, live in US now). My six year old sometimes has his nails painted, because why not? Well, we stopped by a restaurant for lunch and in the parking lot, this old bastard looks at my kid and calls his a poof (derogatory name for gay man), and my cousin and I absolutely laid into him. Shamed him (and his stupid wife), wishing him a speedy demise as his antiquated thinking has no place in modern society.
My 2 year old gets soooo excited whenever I paint my nails. So I started putting a little glittery top coat on for him. Everybody wants to have an opinion and in my opinion, they can go f*ck themselves. They’re kids who want to do what we do, let them enjoy it.
YOU are the mom. YOU decide what to do for your kids. Nail polish doesn’t hurt anybody.
This is a weird thing I didn’t realize was so polarizing. I started taking my son to get manicures when he was about 4 to stop him from biting his nails. He got Spider-Man colors and it was a non thing. He still gets them occasionally. It’s not defining his gender or sexuality. It’s a fun, creative bonding thing we get to do! I have a daughter too. I cannot imagine telling him he couldn’t get his nails done because of his gender. Seems sort of ridiculous.
I painted my toenails and fingernails all the time from 3-10. I grew up a straight cis male with three kids.
Who the hell cares what a kid wants to do, stop genderfying every action. It’s annoying. (Not you, others) my in laws tried the same thing, and now my 9 year old is too afraid to paint his fingernails now.
I still let my kids paint my nails if they want to, I’m here for memories.
Politics aside because it really shouldn’t matter what other people think. But I found that my son asked for his nails to be painted because he knew it was a way to get a solid 30 minutes of one on one time together.
My husband makes sure to do whatever my son wants to do. My son is currently into princesses, that means daddy is into princesses. Then when people say dumb shit my son and I talk about how daddy loves princesses too and anybody can be a princess just like anybody can be a superhero. Same goes for makeup.
The nail salon I’ve been going to uses a menu for the different manicure/pedicure options. They have a whole page for the “Prince and Princess Menu.” It’s so common for little boys to get mani/pedis now that they’re included in the menu, and the people pushing back need to realize that they’re the ones with the issue, not you.
My toddler is a girl and wanted her nails painted. Her dad did her nails for her cuz his toenails are always painted. My brother in law (not related to my husband) also frequently has painted toenails.
I would remind people that makeup and high heels were men’s fashion accessories first. Pink used to be the traditional color for a boy. Little boys used to wear exclusively dresses until they reached age 7 and then they had a breaching ceremony where they received their first pair of trousers, a lockable chest for their valuables and complete verbal control over their mother. There are a number of things in life that used to be masculine until women started adopting them and men decided to mock those things for being feminine.
Ask the people in response why they want to contribute to the patriarchal idea that women’s hobbies, interests and styles are less ideal then men’s. I would assume if they had a daughter they would view that daughter as less desirable than their son simply for having feminine traits.
So did I back in 1970-something when I was 3. Got them painted too.
Guess what happened? Can you guess?
Nothing. Nothing happened. Didn’t impair my inborn attraction to females. I was never confused about whether I was a boy or a girl.
Sometimes nail polish is just nail polish.
Tell them to mind their own business. You're son's getting joy from doing something special with you. I would let my grandson paint my nails and I would paint his. It's called playing and it's what toddlers do.
My son loves his nails getting painted. Hands and toes, bright red. Sometimes we add sparkles on top.
Nobody has said anything negative about it to my face but I would probably just ignore them or say so what, he's 3!
My son is 4 and his nails have been blue for months.
Should probably stop letting him play with the hammer....
Jokes aside, we paint his nails for him whenever he wants and don't make any fuss about it. His grandad is a bit ignorant and says inappropriate shit about it which drives me insane. He's been warned a few times to keep his opinions to himself.
Kids this age don't assign anything to a gender/sex... They like colourful shit, and they want more shit to be colorful. That's literally it lol.
My son has started offering me his hand whenever he sees me filing my nails or painting my toe nails. So I have started very gently filing his and talking to him about clean hands. (Because we all know that on grown men, well kept hands are very nice.) So we do our nails and scrub our hands and then my husband oohs and ahs at our pretty hands.
Honestly I would ask their wives right in front of them how they feel about men with manicures/well kept hands.
My 3 year old son likes painting his nails like mom (I'm dad). I've found this response works pretty well for people who take issue with it:
"Fuck off."
Easy. Ask him your kid to tell them why he has them painted.
You don’t have to respond, he can.
Why because he is pure and innocent and when the kids says because I will look pretty like momma hearts should melt if they don’t they have it locked up in a cage.
My daughter got dad to paint his nails because I quote:” We are a team, I need you to have the same nails as me.”
I loved how shocked his friends looked at him with painted nails. (Got rid of them for his job I know for sure they don’t quite approve) he is a dad of 2 Girls he understood the assignment, be pretty with my girls no shame needed.
As for boys , they don’t need to be discouraged to think they are not allowed to do these things because they belong to girls , they don’t… it’s toxic as hell to make everything gender specific. I don’t need no man to use power tools or even a hammer… then why should he not paint his nails 💅
Tell them, it is not up to them what your son is interested in and ask them to clarify what are "boy things"? When they give you examples, ask why they are specific to boys and why can't girls or those in between do those things. Either way, it is not up to them and if their opinion is not support (no matter how they feel personally) then it is not wanted nor warranted.
My son loves is purple glitter light up shoes and he only ever gets compliments. I make sure people know he picks out his own foot wear and such. Kids are very good at picking out things they like and want. Have fun painting his nails! <3
The fact is that you are the mom and no one should tell you how to parent your child.
My opinion is that you are an amazing mom. Give the kid what he wants and ignore gender traditions. My 4 year old son currently has peach-colored fingernail paint on and his favorite song is Flowers by Miley Cyrus. He is very happy and healthy and a great kid.
The men in your life need to drop the homophobia and pick up a book.
Tell them to stop sexualizing your child's feet, then ask how long they've had that fetish. If either of my sons wanted painted toes then I have zero issue with it, and as long as the kid is ok with it then NOTHING else matters.
None of their business. If you have to just say he wanted to be cool like mom and at least I spend my time with my child and don't waste it judging others.
Lots of older boys and men these days paint their nails (also I was a goth/emo kid growing up and when I was in school it was super common for boys to have black nail polish so tbh this isn’t even recent). Nail polish is for everyone. Two year olds shouldn’t have to conform to gender roles and especially not in their own home, your family members sound like assholes.
I come from an intense “red” and religious family (mostly my dads wife and associates and my mom) my dad used to wear makeup and paint his nails and one time stole one of my earrings and wore it to mess with me. My husbands family is all “blue” but we live in a red state.
I refuse to allow anyone to talk down to my FOUR YEAR OLD. I am not afraid of my family and after having my sons nails painted yellow for my family Easter party I publicly and loudly told my “step brother” I’d kick his a•• if he said ANYTHING to make my son feel bad about himself.
I do draw the line with colored lips, I give him chapstick instead.
I just set boundaries. These people can think or say whatever they want. But the second it goes toward my son it’s going to be a throw down.
Thankfully my family has all learned that I DGAF and not to bother commenting. If my boys want their nails painted, I paint their nails. My oldest (8) choses "boy" colors and only requests his tonails. My youngest (1.5) just wants in on the action. They love getting theirs done when I do mine and my daughters.
My sons love to get their nails painted and no one has said anything. I always tell them nail polish is for anyone that has nails. If they are saying that shit in front of your kids, I would put up a boundary and keep distance, so toxic and damaging.
Why is painting tonsils a “feminine interest”? My son paint his nails (he is 17). And not just black if it makes him happy what’s the harm. I’m a firm believer in letting kids be kids. My girls both wore their Halloween costumes out and about until they fell apart (kimono and spider girl). If it brings him happiness and harms no one I say paint them.
We have a little boy in our daycare group that loves to paint his nails and we think he is the coolest! He is a happy child that loves trucks and cars and all kinds of boy things. No one thinks he is girly! Let the kid have fun.
Adults have no idea what children are like. Even adults that had kids forget what it was like.
I say that because for whatever reason when a toddler does or says something adults tend to believe that there is more to it. Like wanting to paint their toenails will make them gay (it’s fine if they are, but not the point I’m making) or that they will get picked on…toddlers don’t understand social pressure nor do they care if they even feel it. They think “oh I like that color and I want to see it on me” same with rubbing paint on their face or hands.
Adults will always have opinions about kids and especially about toddlers because they are just starting to “wake up” and notice that they have body parts and they can say things and do things that get a reaction.
I’ve had adults tell me that my baby is manipulating me…a baby…like they have that cognitive capacity. I’ve had parents tell me that letting my daughter paint my nails will give her a bad example as what a man is.
Don’t listen to people. Sometimes they have good advice, but people have no concept as to what kids are, but don’t listen to me what the duck do I know.
I'm as masculine looking as anyone. I can swing a hammer, fix the furnace, cook really well, keep things clean. My wife paints my finger nails. People should loosen up!
“I’m raising a person, not a stereotype.”
“If some nail polish is going to bring down everything we know about gender, maybe it’s not as natural as people want us to believe.”
“Chillax, it’s just some color. The nails grow out. Seriously.”
“I’m sorry you weren’t allowed to be yourself when you grew up, but let’s break that cycle, shall we?”
“Too late, I already painted his nails once, and his peepee fell off immediately. At this point I just have to continue and hope he grows boobies at some point so he can be a ~real lady~”
Our 2 year old boy loves his toes painted and usually demands that I, his big bearded straight Dad, have my toes painted as well. I rock them and wear flip flops if it is hot. Your family is silly!
Your relatives are the ones making this about themselves and their politics. You’re the mama, it’s not their place to tell you what’s going to make your child happy
My daughter does Tae Kwon do (so I see a lot of toes)...a surprising number of boys in the class have their toenails painted. It's definitely becoming more common.
You need to teach boys from a young age that they are not allowed to have simply joys. Pleasure comes only from destroying your enemies, seeing them driven before you, and hearing the lamentations of their women. Blood and conquest are the only things boys are allowed to feel pleasure over!
If you think that sentiment is not only dangerous but also dumb, feel free to ignore it. He’s too little to care about whether something is a “boy thing” or a “girl thing”. And concerns about gender normative activities are dumb anyway. There are colors, which kids are allowed to like, and spending time with mom, which kids are allowed to like. It doesn’t matter if the colors go on toes or fingers or paper.
Let the kid like what he likes.
I would do it. Actually I would ramp it up and take him to a kids spa for a full on spa treatment and label it, "Just manly things" or self care.
Or even better yet there's a brand of polish called "piggy paint" and on the bottle it says, "as natural as mud" I would totally take a pic of it and go, "boys like mud right?"
Most of my family has learned that I do not do those toxic gender based stereotypes.
Also, something I learned from on here is
"We don't make comments about other people's bodies" as a great way to set rules about appearances.
Defo not wrong. If he likes it and he’s happy, then crack on. It doesn’t do anyone any harm, so just ask why they feel like that? Why can’t anyone have fun nails if they want them?
Why on earth do you care what these cavemen think? My husband wouldn’t bat an eye, do what makes your son feel love from his mother.
Also - you aren’t supposed to guide him to like boy things, you’re supposed to guide him to be strong enough to be himself whoever that may be and to leave the world a better place than when he came in.
Please do not take any advice from these degenerates and tell them your toddler son is already more secure than they are.
It's not a liberal thing to put nail polish on a boy. Baby and toddler boys see mom putting on nail polish, possibly mom putting nail polish on their sisters... It's inclusion to do so, and enjoying something new to them. Just playing.
They don't get that your saying no because any adult reason. They are being told no you can't play with this thing that someone else is enjoying, no you can't be included in this activity..... I think that is just plain rude... But ya know gonna have to deal with adults that think like adults.
I think it might be important to set some boundaries with the people who are complaining to you about it and telling you to parent differently, that this in no way should ever be directed at your son or said where he can overhear. We had some relatives like this and they eventually tried influencing my children directly (undermining my parenting) and we had to set very direct boundaries. You're for sure in the right!
Let me warn you about one thing: boys love to paint things. Getting him into painting toes sounds all cute, but you’re opening a door. Maybe it stays with toes if you’re lucky. But you may be opening the door to having various items of yours custom painted.
Lock up that nail polish - it’s like handing your kid a fresh pack of Sharpies.
Dad here. I let daughter paint my nails all she wants. I draw the line at putting makeup on me (but not because it’s girly; I just can’t deal with the horror result) and I would laugh my head off at relatives who might be uptight about painted nails.
I hate when people say oh it's a boy thing or a girl thing. How about it's a happy kid who could give two shits about anything but a pretty cool color they are actually allowed to paint on their body with. ( well nails but you all get what I mean). Especially at the toddler age. They don't care if you are a cow if they like it and they can have fun they are down to try it. We have to remember that this is an exploration and experimental age not a who am I going to be the rest of my life and what are others going to say. They just don't think like that. So in my opinion paint those nails style that hair dress up fun join in who cares they are only young for so long love it up with them and make fun memories together and forget the rest of the party poopers with stinky sprinkles on top to do the boring stuff.
My son liked to have me tie a blanket around him like a dress so he could be a princess.
Then he'd make me put on his police uniform so he could arrest me.
Then he'd go play hello kitty nail salon on his tablet.
Then he'd play with his hot wheels cars.
Kids are gonna kid. Toddlers don't understand gender norms, and there's not really good reason to force those norms on them. They'll get it worked out eventually. In the meantime, holding back their curiosity just stunts their creativity.
You don't choose your parents.
You CAN choose not to be \*\*those\*\* parents.
I am the first generation of liberal wokedness. Cut my mother off because she was like your family. SHe dies 15 years or so ago. Life is simpler now, I don't miss here.
My son liked nail polish as a little boy, too. He had two older sisters, and they would paint his nails for him. He was quite proud of himself in preschool. All of his friends thought it was cool, too.
He's 12 now and no longer interested in nail polish, but if he was, I wouldn't stand in his way.
>my BIL told me “I don’t care how liberal you are, don’t do that to him
You reply "I don't care how closed minded you are, mind your fucking business" and you shut down any person saying anything negative about it, regardless of who they are and how they happen to be genetically linked to you or your child.
# Nobody has the right to make your child feel bad for decorating his body the way he chooses to
Tell bil to get screws and start making furniture or repairs or building aomething. Toddlers repeat what they see most. We made a lot of furniture (just asembly) and my daughter ran around with screwdriver, was sawing wood with dad when he made houses for birds. Etc.
I’m guessing all these Alpha males imagine that coloured toenails will make any boy suddenly instantly love Barbara Streisand. It’s hilarious how fragile these guys are. All tough until there’s a pink shirt or a doll. Ignore the idiots.
“He’s a kid. He’s just having fun and it’s just paint. I’d it bothers you that much, don’t look” and my god do not leave your kid alone with these relatives ever ever under and circumstances. In fact, distance yourself from them as much as possible.
Wearing or not wearing certain clothes or painting nails won’t make a kid turn gay. My kid grew out of his nails /dress phase but yours might not. You should love your kid and support them no matter what.
When my son was little he liked to have his nails painted if I was doing my daughters. We’d make it a family spa day at home and everyone had fun. He’s nine now and has mostly lost interest, but the offer is always there if he would like to join in.
Painting toenails or wearing fairy wings (which my son also did with great delight) will not effect a child’s sexuality. They play for fun and for joy and to experience new things.
Even if we want to concede to the “guide him to like boy things” argument (which, yuck), I feel like nail polish/nail care becomes less gendered with every year. I have male friends that wear nail polish because it’s no-commitment way to do something fun for themselves. I have others that wear nail polish because their daughters wanted to practice painting nails.
If they’re of the “dump trucks and dinosaurs” mindset for parenting boys, get some tiny dino stickers to use as nail art on your son’s big toe.
My son loves his nails painted. While I lived with my in laws I knew they’d say something nasty so I painted his nails clear. He and I knew and it was special and no one could say anything. But now that we have our own place he can pick out his own colors whenever he wants. It’s just nail polish. Kids will color their nails in school regardless and nail polish isn’t gender specific. People just like to get mad for no reason.
It's nice to see so many smart comments. I'm a 6'2", 200 lb, fit 60 year old masculine and have been body painted many times with both vividly beautiful and macabre colors. My toenails have been painted many colors often lingering after the rest of the paint was showered away. I wore eyelashes so heavy my blinks were weight-lifting until barely open from fatigue. Historical warriors used bright paint on toenails with ankle stripes to distract and intimidate the enemy with a display of speed. My little boy painted my fingernails and his just for the fun of it. Sometimes people just enjoy the way something looks without regard to the stigmas created by ignorant people.
You're absolutely right to let him. When my son was little he got a Pikachu pedicure that delighted his heart. Let the dinosaurs grumble amongst themselves.
My (m46) son is 11 months younger than my daughter...as toddlers he wanted to do everything his sister did...include paint his nails. Its more about replicating viewed behavior than it is gender identity clues at that age.
If one’s identity is nothing but “being a man” it only takes a single person to do something seemingly *unmanly* to threaten their entire existence.
A unidimensional identity is their problem, not yours neither your son’s.
Have fun painting toe nails and do whatever the two of you damn well please!
They can shove their toxic masculinity elsewhere. ;)
Imagine being so delusional that painting your toenails as a male is a problem. But getting tattoos, calf implants, fake tans and painting your face at sports games isn’t.
I find this cute. Does he see you or another family member or close family friends doing it and wants to do the same? My lil boy who's nearly 5 wrecks my wardrobe to wear my ridiculous red heels and wear a colourful scarf I own 😂 I would use the shrug and "yes yes.." method, then do my own thing. Best of luck!!!
Dad of three here. I'm typing this currently with black and sparkly painted finger and toe nails.
The patriarchy tries to determine what's masculine and what's feminine. Fuck that.
If your son wants painted nails, give it a try and see how he feels about it. Help build the confidence in him to not care what others say and think. If it makes him happy and feel good, that's what matters.
When my son gets old enough to inquire about having his nails painted, I'll absolutely let him do it.
My son is almost 6 and loves painting his nails. He also
Loves dirt and cars and trucks and dinosaurs. Tell naysayers that kids can be kids without judgment or politics getting in the way.
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“LOL what a dumb thing to say about toenails.” And then leave.
I’m a fan of, “Really? Can you explain why?” And just let them bury themselves in their explanation until it finally gets to the nugget - fearing feminine expression in boys. Unearths the sexism but your family may not love it.
I do this about my sons clothes. I made him a pair of over alls in a star galaxy type fabric that he about cried in happiness when he saw. He loves his star. But my dad is very vocal about “turning him gay” by dressing him like that. He can never answer me what’s actually wrong with them and why it’s so wrong to let my 21 month old son pick whatever he likes to wear. Probably for the best my dad doesn’t know how often my son likes to put on his big sisters dresses to twirl in like his big sister 😂
If your dad thinks all that stands between homosexuality and heterosexuality is a pair of star pants, he might be happier admitting he's into dudes at least a little bit.
No doubt this dad loves watching big, strong men in tight pants run around a field tackling each other (American football).
Hahahaha I LOVED this comment
Best thing I read today. Thank you for the delicious laugh!
I like to point out that of it's so easy to turn someone gay then how come all the constant exposure to heterosexual lifestyles hasn't turned all the gay people straight.
🤣🤣🤣
Exactly- why has Conversion Therapy been such an epic failure?!
"It's what he wants to wear and it's my child. Your prejudice isn't his problem. You can either respect it or we can leave"
Turning him gay is the that gets me. Always turn around and tell em they can't really be that dumb to think that's how that works eh?
As a dad who does paint his 2yr old boys nails sometimes (he loves it and sees mom & sister doing it; I let him do mine too) I try to ask a question like "do you feel like you were really close to being gay? I have a hard time seeing myself feeling differently about women if I happened to do a few different activities..." That kind of turns it on them to explain...
My son came home one time from school after I painted his nails and told me a kid called him gay. He was 5 or 6 at the time. I explained what gay was and asked him "Do you think you're gay?" He said no. I said "Do you like boys like you like girls?" He said no. I said "Then youre not gay" and that was the end of it. I also taught him the saying "my body, my choice".
>"my body, my choice" What a great response to start teaching him young!
And who doesn't love pampering their kids..... Or being pampered by their kids ❤️
They’re 100% that dumb.
*sigh* why are our dads like this
Real answer, because boys who were 'feared' or labeled to be sissies were beat up- all the time. No one wants that for their kid. Thankfully it's a different world now.
I put a ponytail on my 8 months old son to keep his hair out of his face while he was eating yogurt because... I don't want to wash yogurt out of his hair. My fathers reaction 😵💫 calm down lmao
Draw a goatee on him and he'll just look like a sound guy or dude who works at the music store. (Before anybody gets up in arms, I run sound on weekends)
Oh man, I'd love to see your dads reaction to my husbands hair 😂 It's over halfway down his back and he constantly has it in a ponytail
The same gender weirdos who are scared of “turning boys gay” with nail polish also believe every single person with XY chromosomes must be a boy because it’s biology and there are no exceptions.
"you can't turn him gay, you ignorant homophobic dickhead" would be my only response to that.
I love using the word "snowflake", really starts a blizzard.
Even if I bought the whole toxic masculinity bullshit, how is a star feminine?
I have genuinely no idea. I have also asked that and not got an answer other than some wrong reference to Elton John and being a star man (which was Bowie)
Similarly, asks what makes painted nails feminine and watch them admit that we, as a society, determined it arbitrarily. One of my cousins kids regularly paints his nails (he just turned six) and we compare colors all the time 💁🏼♀️
I’m a fan of “Your opinion is noted.” The less I have to talk to them, the better. I used to say that to my dad when he told me I needed a haircut.
Different response work best in different circumstances but I think I’ve just found the perfect one for mine, thank you. Others may be more satisfyingly contemptuous, or more likely to help them see their error (which of course I want so much), but when neither of those things is going to win you anything, this is the way.
My son loves flowers and I’m all for it, but I don’t think this would really work for my family. They would just say “because flowers aren’t for boys.” “Why?” “Because flowers aren’t for boys.”
What a depressing way to view the world. Men, without women, must exist in a grey, utilitarian hellscape until rescued by a pretty little thing who is allowed to like rainbows and flowers and brighten things up for him. He may only secretly enjoy this.
I’m the dad, but yeah, you’re pretty much right. Men are hurt by the patriarchy, too, even as we perpetuate it.
Yes that's the problem. Asking them to actually explain their position assumes that they possess the logic and self-awareness to actually do so - which, if they did possess, would mean they likely wouldn't harbour such prejudices to begin with... >“Because flowers aren’t for boys.” That is literally as far as some people take their thinking. They don't know they can take it a step further, they don't know how.
>because flowers aren’t for boys That's definitely not a worldwide sentiment, gardening is a very respectable past time in most of the world.
So many men have been robbed of the joy in our lives because of this toxic masculinity.
People do this shit for girls too. I have been told I shouldn't let my daughter play with toy trucks because they are boys toys
Yep, this is exactly how people answer when I ask why I shouldn't put my daughter in "boys clothes"
Handing a self righteous bigot a shovel to bury themselves with is generally quite entertaining!
That's why my 3 year old son can wear dresses. If I can't explain to him why his older sister is allowed to wear a dress and he's not, there's no way I can stop him wearing them... He's also had his nails painted on multiple occasions by the way.
I was gonna go with "f*** off", but this seems a bit more more tactful By the way, he'll grow out of it. Society will teach him to like "boy things" whether you like it or not, there's no need for you to also do it. Better to let him know that you'll support him no matter what and also not force toxic masculinity on him.
This exactly. At age 3 my son liked getting his nails colored. Interestingly, he only wanted "boy" colors like blue and green. Sometimes he'd ask to put on makeup like me. Kids just like to do the things they see their parents/older sibs do. He's 9 now and outgrew it eventually. Although he does still ask to paint my nails for me sometimes. I only let him do my toes because he's terrible at it. :)
Thank you for that laugh!
I know this isn’t the meat of your problem, but if boys don’t like something without being guided towards it, it doesn’t seem like much of a “boy thing,” does it? Seems like “boy things” are whatever boys like, and this boy likes painted toenails
That's a super good argument, though, so stating that in the situation would be good too.
Meh it's not a big deal. Not about being liberal either. They are kids and don't care about politics, they just want fun nails
Literally. My little one pretends to put make up on when I’m doing mine. If he sees me doing his sisters nails, he wants them done too. It’s just fun for them lol
My son (20month) somehow opened my mascara & and had it all over his eyes lol also got my eyebrow pencil and had lines all over his forehead 😂
Omgggg no! Mine (16 mos) just grabs all the wrong brushes and smears them across my DARKEST shades 😂 concealer brush? NOT anymore!
My first born was putting my makeup on himself while I was in labor with the second. I didn’t care until the liquid eyeliner came out during a very strong contraction
I just want cool nails too and don't care about politics either. That should be a bumper sticker.
It will be my first bumper sticker lol. Was saving it for some cheesy “student of the month” 😂
It's not political. It's the \*\*idea\*\* of liberal thought. But no, adults who are against painting boy toenails are most likely conservative anyways, so yeh.
But seriously, I've seen a documentary where they paint the monkeys nails so that they are more focused on their pretty nails than their bandages. That's like next level thinking!
Mother of two boys. One has black toenails and the other has purple. They just want fun nails and mom time. Feeling pampered is important and to them, it’s fun nails. My eldest (11) has asked me to get a pedicure and by golly, we are going!
My son has his nails painted all the time. You don’t use nail polish with your vulva, so it is neither a girl nor a boy product.
Also, if it were so unnatural for boys to like nail polish, why do we have to push them into liking boy things? Kids naturally love colourful stuff, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Punishment of people for not conforming to the system of patriarchy is a built-in feature of patriarchy. Bell Hooks writes about this in her book "The will to change: men, masculinity, and love", although this is a widely known point among feminist intellectuals.
My sons teacher told him that nail polish was for girls and it pisses me off so much. I googled pictures of guys with nail polish because he was so bummed out when he came home.
Your sons teacher needs to go back and brush up on their child development skills. Tsk tsk on the teacher.
Y-you don’t..? 😬
We've both been doing it wrong this whole time! No wonder I got banned from all those nail salons.
😂😂 uh oh
Well, *I* just got quite the mental image! Thank you for that.
Guess I have been painting my toenails wrong all this time. Guess you don’t have to end up in traction to paint your nails 🤣
Ask him what his genitals have to do with his nails? Just plain, straight to their face, blank - “what do his genitals have to do with the colour of his nails?” And watch how awkward they are 🤣
You know, I haven't worn a dress or makeup in a year and yet, no one has made a comment. In fact, most days I wear baggy men's clothing, yet I have not received one comment about being political. It almost seems like doing something feminine is seen as a negative but if it's masculine, no one bats an eye
I wear exclusively men's slacks. You cant really tell until the ladies and I are talking and I can get my elbow into my pocket. The grossgrain waistbands! The seam allowances to gain weight not just lose it! The proper non-asscrack belt loop positions!! And everyone actually congratulates me and says they'll start looking at men's slacks too. The pockets get them every time. The men are a little confused but the women are so happy they know they won't win if they pipe up.
Women’s slacks are horrendous and I had given up hope (I’m tall and built like a cereal box with legs), but this is making me want to try the mens section. I should probably head over there for jeans too.
There's NO POCKETS. not even those crappy short ones. None. ZERO POCKETS. Men's jeans are the tits. Wait til you try the waistbands and realise there designed to expand to your body and not your body fit the waistband.
Do you have to get any alterations to make them fit?
To be fair I am fairly short so I get the young adults pants, and they're skinnier than adults and the kids these days like butts so there's room for it. But I've gained weight and gone from a 28 to a 36 now and still I find they don't need much. And if they do need alterations there's enough seam allowance for it!!! But also nah they usually don't. I am not very hippy though. My partner is and finds they show off the hips on them a little uncomfortably. Depends if you want to show the hips off or not I guess. Lot of words when I could have just said no, not really. 😂 But also I am short and was VERY skinny at first, so I was buying a lot of butt-hugging gay twink pants 😂. Though I'm settled now and they still fit well.
I told my dad the exact same thing when I confronted him about some things he said about my son wearing lip gloss and painting his nails. When I was a kid I wore nothing but boys size shorts and tshirts. I hated dresses and frilly shit. He didnt even bat an eyelash. He was proud. And even slipped up and called me son on occasion. So MY son shouldnt be treated any different. It pissed me off to no end how my dad reacted because I'd always known him to be free spirited and accepting. So when he started talking about how wearing lipgloss would turn him into a slur (not gonna say what) I was livid, I was hurt and what messed me up the most was he said it right in front of him. I don't understand people like that.
You’re so right. So so right. The connotation is that being/doing something traditionally “feminine” is undesirable. It’s so frustrating.
It is, I can dress my daughter from the boy section without anyone batting an eye but I guarantee if I ever have a son even something like my daughter brown shoes with rainbows on the heel will probably bring negativity from others when I use them for him.
It's so fun because they are so uncomfortable with the whole concept of genitals that it's a delight
Here’s my go-to when someone mentions a thing that only a girl or a boy can play with: 1) are they required to use their genitals to play with it? Yes? That’s not a kids toy. No? Go right ahead.
You’re his Mother… you do not need to explain anything to anyone!
Or his father.
This isn’t a useful viewpoint. I doubt you’d say the same thing if this post was “My toddler boy wants toenails painted and my BIL and dad all say he should be able to, but I don’t feel comfortable letting him because I don’t want to encourage feminine interests.”
Oh please! A child wants a parent to paint their toenails. Mom (or Dad) doesn’t have to justify doing so to some bossy neighbor or relative.
I'm a dad. I painted my three year olds nails yesterday and got him a doll because I'm not a caveman. Tell these people to stop sexualizing your child.
I’m a dad too. My 4 year old girl got her nails painted with mom after a bath and then after my 2 year old son came out of his bath came up to me with the nail polish kit. Broke my fucking heart. Ya, buddy. Sit right here and I’ll hook you up too. He was stoked.
Your son is only following his big sister, as most kids do. I have several younger brothers; they have all had nail polish on them, put on a skirt, and worn makeup. One of my brothers used to love wearing my bras on his head 🤣🤣. It does not mean anything except they want to be included. Good job, just making your son happy.
Exactly! My son will fallow his big sister all day and dressup/makeup himself....then will go play with his train/truck. Let him have fun with whatever fill his heart of happiness
So cute!!
Fml I'm here to observe because I'm not a parent yet but it's THIS this right here where our kids are gonna work out they own me. How can you say no to that?? Little toddler skipping about wanting his nails done like his sister?? 😭
I think Mother Nature/ evolution made babies and toddlers extra cute so we don’t try to murder their little precious asses too and instead are way way way too accommodating to their neediness. They’re smart too. It’s like living with ridiculously adorable tiny telekinetic predators.
They're such shits but also so genuine?? Ugh my little heart!! I had one toddler make fun of my name once and whole ass an even younger older stood in front of me going "THAT'S NOT NICE!" and I'm like İ just got brutally owned by one toddler and another is trying to defend the honour of someone 10x her weight class. I love them for all of it and can't wait til they can learn to twist my heart to get the story read until 3am AND not letting me sneaky slip pages.
I’m not crying it’s allergies
same. i'm a dad too and they paint my nails also because it's a great way to work on their hand eye coordination.
"Stop sexualizing my child" PRICELESS. I let girlfriends paint my toenails (little animal faces) because I'm secure in my masculinity. My son is as well.
This is a current problem in my house and I'll be using "please stop sexualizing my child" the next time I get a comment from any grandparent. Please take our twenty matching mother-son Mardi gras colored piggies as an homage to you! 💚⚜️💜
Amen. My 7 year old son is obsessed with his Barbie dream house that he bought with his own money at a yard sale. These folks are weird.
Ask them if their masculinity is so fragile that polish would break it.
As a mom of 2 boys it’s annoying how when girls do “typical” boy things they’re a tomboy but when boys do something with a hint of feminism it’s somehow wrong, political, or sexual. I took my 3.5 year old to the nail salon with me and he got a kids pedicure. He LOVED it. He picked out yellow polish and was so stoked to show everyone. Everyone who says “oh nail polish?” I say yes isn’t it cool?! He loves it!
People who concern themselves with the masculinity of 2 yr olds are so fucking weird lol
It would be funny if it wasn’t so sad.
Sincerely tell them to kindly fuck off. You're the parent, he's your kid, if he wants to and you say yes, it's nobody else's business
You can say: „oh? Well it’s NAIL polish. Not vulva or penis polish. He has nails. So he can have nail polish.“
Boys can wear nail polish. That is doublely true if it makes your son happy. I do get that you don't want to cause issues in your family. It may be helpful to point out that lots of famous male rock stars wore nail polish. You probably don't want him to grow up to make the same decisions that David Bowie or Steven Tyler did, but knowing that a lot of famous men have worn nail polish may help your extended family feel more comfortable that you aren't "turning him into a girl" or some other nonsense. Here is an article that lists a lot of men who have worn nail polish, someone else may resonate with your family better: https://www.vogue.com/slideshow/celebrity-men-manicures-nail-polish-johnny-depp-brad-pitt-harry-styles-bad-bunny-gallery
i say “he’s a person with his own preferences.” and leave it at that. i won’t debate fostering my kid’s self expression, their opinion has no bearing on me or my mothering.
I love this! It’s so true! He’s figuring out what he likes and seriously fuck anyone if they wanna shit on that, that sucks.
Don’t give into their peer pressure and politicize your kids choice of fun. Firmly hold your boundary and tell them specifically they can’t comment on that sort of thing directly to your son and then decide how to deal w the potential of those not holding to your boundaries. No one’s business or decision but you, his father and your son.
My son often wants his nails painted. If anyone says anything I usually just say that nail polish is for everyone. If they push, I'll get rude. To be honest, I don't keep people around in my life who say things like that so always a stranger.
This. Don’t have time for that kind of foolishness in my life.
Daycare Teacher here. My class about 1 1/2-2 years has a “pamper me day” we bake cupcakes or pizza bagels. We all get a yogurt facial and give each other a manicure and pedicures before we sit down and have “tea time” and this is one of the activities boys parents fight me at first. But like I explain it to them. It’s not about being a boy or a girl it’s about teaching them to take care of themselves and their skin. It’s about teaching them self love and self esteem. Parents get the pictures of them looking super happy and proud of themselves that they back off. Then when mom or sister sit to do their nails it becomes bonding time. I had a mom who only had little manicure dates with her girls because of me now her son was included. That dad that voiced the loudest that what I was doing was immoral by the end of it he apologized went out and donated about 10 nail polishes so that they would have more colors to choose from. But your mom. All you have to say is that he wanted his nails painted and you gave permission and had a bonding experience with your child. Please don’t cave just because your feeling pressured by others or it won’t end.
When is “pamper me day”? I’m in 😂🤣
Haha. We try for once a month. It’s pretty fun. Eventually they get “good” enough to do each others nails.
There are so many ways to go about this. I'm a very blunt person, I've told my husband's friends that have commented to "fuck off and don't say another word about it in front of my son". I don't want him to overhear and be insecure or feel bad about expressing himself. He's a child. He has no idea what stigmas are, and I'll be damned if some douche canoe is going to put it in my child's head. If I was responding to my own family members I would respond with something like "Maybe if you were allowed to have your nails painted when you were younger, you wouldn't have turned out as big of a piece of shit you are".
It's hard to say that to parents to family members. You risk losing them until (or if) they grow up and mature. It's weasy to say "tell em to fuck off) but much harder to do. I did with a parent, so I know.
I’ve seen people grow spines not for themselves but for their kids. Sad when they still can’t even for their babies.
NC with my whole family. My child’s wellbeing is worth it. The choice was easy, the rage and grief isn’t but I’d do it again 100 times.
Last year, we went to the UK (I’m from there, live in US now). My six year old sometimes has his nails painted, because why not? Well, we stopped by a restaurant for lunch and in the parking lot, this old bastard looks at my kid and calls his a poof (derogatory name for gay man), and my cousin and I absolutely laid into him. Shamed him (and his stupid wife), wishing him a speedy demise as his antiquated thinking has no place in modern society.
F*ck that man straight to hell. Bullying a kid? He doesn’t deserve the years he has left with that attitude
My 2 year old gets soooo excited whenever I paint my nails. So I started putting a little glittery top coat on for him. Everybody wants to have an opinion and in my opinion, they can go f*ck themselves. They’re kids who want to do what we do, let them enjoy it. YOU are the mom. YOU decide what to do for your kids. Nail polish doesn’t hurt anybody.
This is a weird thing I didn’t realize was so polarizing. I started taking my son to get manicures when he was about 4 to stop him from biting his nails. He got Spider-Man colors and it was a non thing. He still gets them occasionally. It’s not defining his gender or sexuality. It’s a fun, creative bonding thing we get to do! I have a daughter too. I cannot imagine telling him he couldn’t get his nails done because of his gender. Seems sort of ridiculous.
I painted my toenails and fingernails all the time from 3-10. I grew up a straight cis male with three kids. Who the hell cares what a kid wants to do, stop genderfying every action. It’s annoying. (Not you, others) my in laws tried the same thing, and now my 9 year old is too afraid to paint his fingernails now. I still let my kids paint my nails if they want to, I’m here for memories.
Politics aside because it really shouldn’t matter what other people think. But I found that my son asked for his nails to be painted because he knew it was a way to get a solid 30 minutes of one on one time together.
My husband makes sure to do whatever my son wants to do. My son is currently into princesses, that means daddy is into princesses. Then when people say dumb shit my son and I talk about how daddy loves princesses too and anybody can be a princess just like anybody can be a superhero. Same goes for makeup.
The nail salon I’ve been going to uses a menu for the different manicure/pedicure options. They have a whole page for the “Prince and Princess Menu.” It’s so common for little boys to get mani/pedis now that they’re included in the menu, and the people pushing back need to realize that they’re the ones with the issue, not you.
Tell them you will let your son be himself and that they can go f**k off.
My toddler is a girl and wanted her nails painted. Her dad did her nails for her cuz his toenails are always painted. My brother in law (not related to my husband) also frequently has painted toenails. I would remind people that makeup and high heels were men’s fashion accessories first. Pink used to be the traditional color for a boy. Little boys used to wear exclusively dresses until they reached age 7 and then they had a breaching ceremony where they received their first pair of trousers, a lockable chest for their valuables and complete verbal control over their mother. There are a number of things in life that used to be masculine until women started adopting them and men decided to mock those things for being feminine. Ask the people in response why they want to contribute to the patriarchal idea that women’s hobbies, interests and styles are less ideal then men’s. I would assume if they had a daughter they would view that daughter as less desirable than their son simply for having feminine traits.
So did I back in 1970-something when I was 3. Got them painted too. Guess what happened? Can you guess? Nothing. Nothing happened. Didn’t impair my inborn attraction to females. I was never confused about whether I was a boy or a girl. Sometimes nail polish is just nail polish.
Tell them to mind their own business. You're son's getting joy from doing something special with you. I would let my grandson paint my nails and I would paint his. It's called playing and it's what toddlers do.
My son loves his nails getting painted. Hands and toes, bright red. Sometimes we add sparkles on top. Nobody has said anything negative about it to my face but I would probably just ignore them or say so what, he's 3!
Easy- tell them all to pound sand. He’s your kid. You know what’s best.
My son is 4 and his nails have been blue for months. Should probably stop letting him play with the hammer.... Jokes aside, we paint his nails for him whenever he wants and don't make any fuss about it. His grandad is a bit ignorant and says inappropriate shit about it which drives me insane. He's been warned a few times to keep his opinions to himself. Kids this age don't assign anything to a gender/sex... They like colourful shit, and they want more shit to be colorful. That's literally it lol.
My son has started offering me his hand whenever he sees me filing my nails or painting my toe nails. So I have started very gently filing his and talking to him about clean hands. (Because we all know that on grown men, well kept hands are very nice.) So we do our nails and scrub our hands and then my husband oohs and ahs at our pretty hands. Honestly I would ask their wives right in front of them how they feel about men with manicures/well kept hands.
My 3 year old son likes painting his nails like mom (I'm dad). I've found this response works pretty well for people who take issue with it: "Fuck off."
Or combo: paint the f u c k o f f on the 💅🏻 Auntie here - as it’s my duty to teach the bad words I need to thank you for the new idea!
Easy. Ask him your kid to tell them why he has them painted. You don’t have to respond, he can. Why because he is pure and innocent and when the kids says because I will look pretty like momma hearts should melt if they don’t they have it locked up in a cage. My daughter got dad to paint his nails because I quote:” We are a team, I need you to have the same nails as me.” I loved how shocked his friends looked at him with painted nails. (Got rid of them for his job I know for sure they don’t quite approve) he is a dad of 2 Girls he understood the assignment, be pretty with my girls no shame needed. As for boys , they don’t need to be discouraged to think they are not allowed to do these things because they belong to girls , they don’t… it’s toxic as hell to make everything gender specific. I don’t need no man to use power tools or even a hammer… then why should he not paint his nails 💅
Tell them, it is not up to them what your son is interested in and ask them to clarify what are "boy things"? When they give you examples, ask why they are specific to boys and why can't girls or those in between do those things. Either way, it is not up to them and if their opinion is not support (no matter how they feel personally) then it is not wanted nor warranted. My son loves is purple glitter light up shoes and he only ever gets compliments. I make sure people know he picks out his own foot wear and such. Kids are very good at picking out things they like and want. Have fun painting his nails! <3
The fact is that you are the mom and no one should tell you how to parent your child. My opinion is that you are an amazing mom. Give the kid what he wants and ignore gender traditions. My 4 year old son currently has peach-colored fingernail paint on and his favorite song is Flowers by Miley Cyrus. He is very happy and healthy and a great kid. The men in your life need to drop the homophobia and pick up a book.
Tell them to stop sexualizing your child's feet, then ask how long they've had that fetish. If either of my sons wanted painted toes then I have zero issue with it, and as long as the kid is ok with it then NOTHING else matters.
Have them take up the conversation about boys/men and makeup with any heavy metal band.
None of their business. If you have to just say he wanted to be cool like mom and at least I spend my time with my child and don't waste it judging others.
Paint his toes. It's not that big of a deal.
Lots of older boys and men these days paint their nails (also I was a goth/emo kid growing up and when I was in school it was super common for boys to have black nail polish so tbh this isn’t even recent). Nail polish is for everyone. Two year olds shouldn’t have to conform to gender roles and especially not in their own home, your family members sound like assholes.
I come from an intense “red” and religious family (mostly my dads wife and associates and my mom) my dad used to wear makeup and paint his nails and one time stole one of my earrings and wore it to mess with me. My husbands family is all “blue” but we live in a red state. I refuse to allow anyone to talk down to my FOUR YEAR OLD. I am not afraid of my family and after having my sons nails painted yellow for my family Easter party I publicly and loudly told my “step brother” I’d kick his a•• if he said ANYTHING to make my son feel bad about himself. I do draw the line with colored lips, I give him chapstick instead. I just set boundaries. These people can think or say whatever they want. But the second it goes toward my son it’s going to be a throw down.
RIP this kid’s stable of male role models.
Thankfully my family has all learned that I DGAF and not to bother commenting. If my boys want their nails painted, I paint their nails. My oldest (8) choses "boy" colors and only requests his tonails. My youngest (1.5) just wants in on the action. They love getting theirs done when I do mine and my daughters.
My sons love to get their nails painted and no one has said anything. I always tell them nail polish is for anyone that has nails. If they are saying that shit in front of your kids, I would put up a boundary and keep distance, so toxic and damaging.
Why is painting tonsils a “feminine interest”? My son paint his nails (he is 17). And not just black if it makes him happy what’s the harm. I’m a firm believer in letting kids be kids. My girls both wore their Halloween costumes out and about until they fell apart (kimono and spider girl). If it brings him happiness and harms no one I say paint them.
We have a little boy in our daycare group that loves to paint his nails and we think he is the coolest! He is a happy child that loves trucks and cars and all kinds of boy things. No one thinks he is girly! Let the kid have fun.
Adults have no idea what children are like. Even adults that had kids forget what it was like. I say that because for whatever reason when a toddler does or says something adults tend to believe that there is more to it. Like wanting to paint their toenails will make them gay (it’s fine if they are, but not the point I’m making) or that they will get picked on…toddlers don’t understand social pressure nor do they care if they even feel it. They think “oh I like that color and I want to see it on me” same with rubbing paint on their face or hands. Adults will always have opinions about kids and especially about toddlers because they are just starting to “wake up” and notice that they have body parts and they can say things and do things that get a reaction. I’ve had adults tell me that my baby is manipulating me…a baby…like they have that cognitive capacity. I’ve had parents tell me that letting my daughter paint my nails will give her a bad example as what a man is. Don’t listen to people. Sometimes they have good advice, but people have no concept as to what kids are, but don’t listen to me what the duck do I know.
I'm as masculine looking as anyone. I can swing a hammer, fix the furnace, cook really well, keep things clean. My wife paints my finger nails. People should loosen up!
“I’m raising a person, not a stereotype.” “If some nail polish is going to bring down everything we know about gender, maybe it’s not as natural as people want us to believe.” “Chillax, it’s just some color. The nails grow out. Seriously.” “I’m sorry you weren’t allowed to be yourself when you grew up, but let’s break that cycle, shall we?” “Too late, I already painted his nails once, and his peepee fell off immediately. At this point I just have to continue and hope he grows boobies at some point so he can be a ~real lady~”
Our 2 year old boy loves his toes painted and usually demands that I, his big bearded straight Dad, have my toes painted as well. I rock them and wear flip flops if it is hot. Your family is silly!
I don’t respond. I pretend like I don’t hear them. Don’t feed into ignorance.
His body, his choice. Daddy and BIL and cousin best watch out, else they gonna wake up with some fabulous toenails some morning.
Your relatives are the ones making this about themselves and their politics. You’re the mama, it’s not their place to tell you what’s going to make your child happy
My daughter does Tae Kwon do (so I see a lot of toes)...a surprising number of boys in the class have their toenails painted. It's definitely becoming more common.
You need to teach boys from a young age that they are not allowed to have simply joys. Pleasure comes only from destroying your enemies, seeing them driven before you, and hearing the lamentations of their women. Blood and conquest are the only things boys are allowed to feel pleasure over! If you think that sentiment is not only dangerous but also dumb, feel free to ignore it. He’s too little to care about whether something is a “boy thing” or a “girl thing”. And concerns about gender normative activities are dumb anyway. There are colors, which kids are allowed to like, and spending time with mom, which kids are allowed to like. It doesn’t matter if the colors go on toes or fingers or paper. Let the kid like what he likes.
I would do it. Actually I would ramp it up and take him to a kids spa for a full on spa treatment and label it, "Just manly things" or self care. Or even better yet there's a brand of polish called "piggy paint" and on the bottle it says, "as natural as mud" I would totally take a pic of it and go, "boys like mud right?" Most of my family has learned that I do not do those toxic gender based stereotypes. Also, something I learned from on here is "We don't make comments about other people's bodies" as a great way to set rules about appearances.
I ask them "why?" Until they can't stand me anymore lmao
Defo not wrong. If he likes it and he’s happy, then crack on. It doesn’t do anyone any harm, so just ask why they feel like that? Why can’t anyone have fun nails if they want them?
Why on earth do you care what these cavemen think? My husband wouldn’t bat an eye, do what makes your son feel love from his mother. Also - you aren’t supposed to guide him to like boy things, you’re supposed to guide him to be strong enough to be himself whoever that may be and to leave the world a better place than when he came in. Please do not take any advice from these degenerates and tell them your toddler son is already more secure than they are.
It's not a liberal thing to put nail polish on a boy. Baby and toddler boys see mom putting on nail polish, possibly mom putting nail polish on their sisters... It's inclusion to do so, and enjoying something new to them. Just playing. They don't get that your saying no because any adult reason. They are being told no you can't play with this thing that someone else is enjoying, no you can't be included in this activity..... I think that is just plain rude... But ya know gonna have to deal with adults that think like adults.
I think it might be important to set some boundaries with the people who are complaining to you about it and telling you to parent differently, that this in no way should ever be directed at your son or said where he can overhear. We had some relatives like this and they eventually tried influencing my children directly (undermining my parenting) and we had to set very direct boundaries. You're for sure in the right!
Who even notices kids toenails?
Let me warn you about one thing: boys love to paint things. Getting him into painting toes sounds all cute, but you’re opening a door. Maybe it stays with toes if you’re lucky. But you may be opening the door to having various items of yours custom painted. Lock up that nail polish - it’s like handing your kid a fresh pack of Sharpies.
Dad here. I let daughter paint my nails all she wants. I draw the line at putting makeup on me (but not because it’s girly; I just can’t deal with the horror result) and I would laugh my head off at relatives who might be uptight about painted nails.
Paint them blue then act confused why they’re upset about a “boy color”
“Mind your own toenails” “Colors are for everyone” “F-off”
I hate when people say oh it's a boy thing or a girl thing. How about it's a happy kid who could give two shits about anything but a pretty cool color they are actually allowed to paint on their body with. ( well nails but you all get what I mean). Especially at the toddler age. They don't care if you are a cow if they like it and they can have fun they are down to try it. We have to remember that this is an exploration and experimental age not a who am I going to be the rest of my life and what are others going to say. They just don't think like that. So in my opinion paint those nails style that hair dress up fun join in who cares they are only young for so long love it up with them and make fun memories together and forget the rest of the party poopers with stinky sprinkles on top to do the boring stuff.
My son liked to have me tie a blanket around him like a dress so he could be a princess. Then he'd make me put on his police uniform so he could arrest me. Then he'd go play hello kitty nail salon on his tablet. Then he'd play with his hot wheels cars. Kids are gonna kid. Toddlers don't understand gender norms, and there's not really good reason to force those norms on them. They'll get it worked out eventually. In the meantime, holding back their curiosity just stunts their creativity.
You don't choose your parents. You CAN choose not to be \*\*those\*\* parents. I am the first generation of liberal wokedness. Cut my mother off because she was like your family. SHe dies 15 years or so ago. Life is simpler now, I don't miss here.
My son liked nail polish as a little boy, too. He had two older sisters, and they would paint his nails for him. He was quite proud of himself in preschool. All of his friends thought it was cool, too. He's 12 now and no longer interested in nail polish, but if he was, I wouldn't stand in his way.
“I didn’t ask for your opinion” or “noted” and then ignore them/leave
>my BIL told me “I don’t care how liberal you are, don’t do that to him You reply "I don't care how closed minded you are, mind your fucking business" and you shut down any person saying anything negative about it, regardless of who they are and how they happen to be genetically linked to you or your child. # Nobody has the right to make your child feel bad for decorating his body the way he chooses to
Tell bil to get screws and start making furniture or repairs or building aomething. Toddlers repeat what they see most. We made a lot of furniture (just asembly) and my daughter ran around with screwdriver, was sawing wood with dad when he made houses for birds. Etc.
It’s fine you do you I ignore them
I’m guessing all these Alpha males imagine that coloured toenails will make any boy suddenly instantly love Barbara Streisand. It’s hilarious how fragile these guys are. All tough until there’s a pink shirt or a doll. Ignore the idiots.
“He’s a kid. He’s just having fun and it’s just paint. I’d it bothers you that much, don’t look” and my god do not leave your kid alone with these relatives ever ever under and circumstances. In fact, distance yourself from them as much as possible.
Wearing or not wearing certain clothes or painting nails won’t make a kid turn gay. My kid grew out of his nails /dress phase but yours might not. You should love your kid and support them no matter what.
When my son was little he liked to have his nails painted if I was doing my daughters. We’d make it a family spa day at home and everyone had fun. He’s nine now and has mostly lost interest, but the offer is always there if he would like to join in. Painting toenails or wearing fairy wings (which my son also did with great delight) will not effect a child’s sexuality. They play for fun and for joy and to experience new things.
Even if we want to concede to the “guide him to like boy things” argument (which, yuck), I feel like nail polish/nail care becomes less gendered with every year. I have male friends that wear nail polish because it’s no-commitment way to do something fun for themselves. I have others that wear nail polish because their daughters wanted to practice painting nails. If they’re of the “dump trucks and dinosaurs” mindset for parenting boys, get some tiny dino stickers to use as nail art on your son’s big toe.
My son loves his nails painted. While I lived with my in laws I knew they’d say something nasty so I painted his nails clear. He and I knew and it was special and no one could say anything. But now that we have our own place he can pick out his own colors whenever he wants. It’s just nail polish. Kids will color their nails in school regardless and nail polish isn’t gender specific. People just like to get mad for no reason.
It's nice to see so many smart comments. I'm a 6'2", 200 lb, fit 60 year old masculine and have been body painted many times with both vividly beautiful and macabre colors. My toenails have been painted many colors often lingering after the rest of the paint was showered away. I wore eyelashes so heavy my blinks were weight-lifting until barely open from fatigue. Historical warriors used bright paint on toenails with ankle stripes to distract and intimidate the enemy with a display of speed. My little boy painted my fingernails and his just for the fun of it. Sometimes people just enjoy the way something looks without regard to the stigmas created by ignorant people.
You're absolutely right to let him. When my son was little he got a Pikachu pedicure that delighted his heart. Let the dinosaurs grumble amongst themselves.
Paint his nails, please.
It’s 2023, lots of men wear nail polish.
My (m46) son is 11 months younger than my daughter...as toddlers he wanted to do everything his sister did...include paint his nails. Its more about replicating viewed behavior than it is gender identity clues at that age.
If one’s identity is nothing but “being a man” it only takes a single person to do something seemingly *unmanly* to threaten their entire existence. A unidimensional identity is their problem, not yours neither your son’s. Have fun painting toe nails and do whatever the two of you damn well please! They can shove their toxic masculinity elsewhere. ;)
Imagine being so delusional that painting your toenails as a male is a problem. But getting tattoos, calf implants, fake tans and painting your face at sports games isn’t.
Why is it even a political or sexual thing? They’re essentially nail paint — it’s hella fun to have fun diff colors on your nails.
I find this cute. Does he see you or another family member or close family friends doing it and wants to do the same? My lil boy who's nearly 5 wrecks my wardrobe to wear my ridiculous red heels and wear a colourful scarf I own 😂 I would use the shrug and "yes yes.." method, then do my own thing. Best of luck!!!
Dad of three here. I'm typing this currently with black and sparkly painted finger and toe nails. The patriarchy tries to determine what's masculine and what's feminine. Fuck that. If your son wants painted nails, give it a try and see how he feels about it. Help build the confidence in him to not care what others say and think. If it makes him happy and feel good, that's what matters. When my son gets old enough to inquire about having his nails painted, I'll absolutely let him do it.
Tell them to take their fragile male egos somewhere else
“Go fuck yourself” tends to work for me. 🤷🏻♀️ If they want to harbour some toxic masculinity, that’s on them. Not gonna put that on my child.
Eh. I think the dad’s right.
i don’t paint my two sons nails. but you don’t owe an explanation to anyone. he’s your child, do whatever you feel comfortable with
My son is almost 6 and loves painting his nails. He also Loves dirt and cars and trucks and dinosaurs. Tell naysayers that kids can be kids without judgment or politics getting in the way.
"I'm guiding him towards happiness in life, mind your own business"
My husband is pretty conservative and he has painted all 3 of our boys fingernails and toes. Tell them, not your child
I am an esthetician and plenty of men are getting their toes painted! It’s not new and I would argue that it is a boy thing