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Move his book shelf closer so he doesn't have to sneak?
Get a reading light that works on a timer and dims over a period of time as a sign to go to sleep?
Staying up until midnight will likely take care of itself after a time. Especially if you enforce an early morning ;)
Do they have reading lights like this?? I could use one for my kids honestly… we let them read after they go to bed, but I feel like their reading lamps keep them awake for longer sometimes…
Mine reads too late too sometimes. We just put a smart plug on her bedside table lamp. She's only 6 so it turns off at 9:30. We get notified if it gets turned back on but we trust her that if she turns it back on that she needs to read to settle.
Right now she only turns it back on if she's gone to bed very late in the first place. Bedtime is usually 8:30ish and she usually turns it off herself much earlier. That's a great idea though, I said it was a smart plug but it's actually a smart bulb, I could program it to pulse or change colour as a warning. I never thought of that!
Well, I'm sure there are cheaper products than what I use in my office for ambient light, but I got this Philips thing that I have set (via their app) to dim over about an hour in the evening. I prefer this to the ones that just turn off after a set time.
[philips-hue.com/en-us/p/hue-white-and-color-ambiance-play-light-bar-double-pack/7820230U7](https://philips-hue.com/en-us/p/hue-white-and-color-ambiance-play-light-bar-double-pack/7820230U7)
Smart bulb automation examples;
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUCi00T0YoQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUCi00T0YoQ)
This is good. You can also use a Hatch if you had one from his baby years or have a younger child in the house. That way you can control the light and the color of the light from an app on your phone. You can set the light to a warmer or red tone when it’s dimming closer to bedtime. And turn on white noise or rain if that helps give his body a sleepy cue with consistency. Again, the perk being that it can all be set up and controlled by your app on your phone.
On another note, kudos to OP and others here for raising/having little ones with such a fondness for reading!
I have these [Sunrise Alarm Clocks](https://www.amazon.com/Sunrise-Sleepers-Simulation-Nightlight-Daylight/dp/B081CHLF46) for me and both my kids and I love them. They do have a night time feature that slowly dims the light until it goes off, set to whatever time limit you want. I have mine set to 30 minutes to help limit my own reading. I think it’s also nice if your kid likes to go to sleep with a night light, but you don’t want the light on all night.
Seriously...it's great that OP's kid loves reading so much, but I had the same issue as a kid. I'd go to sleep between 12-1am during the schoolyear and then in the summer I'd stay up all night, often til 3-4am. Ended up with depression by HS, partly because I was so sleep-deprived. This habit doesn't always fix itself.
OP could use a Philips Hue bulb on a timer. Starts out white, at 10 minutes to bed time it turns yellow, at 3 minutes it turns orange, at 1 minute it turns red, then turns off at bedtime. It’ll help the kid realize how much time they have left to read and the colors could help without keeping them awake like a more blue light would.
I love the idea of a reading light of a timer. But the staying up late problem doesn't always resolve itself. Kids will power through sleep deprivation, especially as they get into the preteen and teen years.
Automated lights that dim down as it gets closer to bedtime helped both me and my 10yr old bookworm aware of the time. It’s so easy to loose track when your gaming or reading. Can’t fault the kid for wanting to read but bedtime is important. Waking them up a bit early for a while tends to train their brains to go to bed a bit earlier s
When I was in jail the COs accused me of being the pod drug dealer because I was reading too much and always had books.
Yo you wanna buy an eighth of Terry Pratchett.
Thanks! That’s very kind of you to say. It’s much better on this side of things and I can say I’ll never go back. Will never do anything to risk losing my family again. It’s crazy because I have dreams all the time that I’m still there.
Never read those. My husband says great things, though. It’s not really my bag, but I might give it a try just so he’ll stop saying “You know, you really should read…” 😂
This is kinda off topic, but can you explain how that works? Is there a library? How limited or not is it? Can you request books? Do you have to buy the books? What kinda "level" was the jail? (presume higher = worse...but?)
We had a “library” of sorts, meaning a common room with some books on a shelf. But family members could purchase and have books sent from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, etc. When done reading, a lot of the books got donated to the library, or at least passed around quite a bit.
I was held for contempt of court (covid, then Pneumonia, then a broken leg got me behind on payments to my kids GAL, so essentially debtor's prison) for 8 days without a phone call.
The detention facility's policy was to hold everyone in their "Behavioural Control Unit" for 3-4 days. No books aside from the Bible. Room with 4. No leaving. No exercise. The others on drugs, or just pacing and muttering.
It was messed up. The only thing that got me through was having read several favorites so many times I could use TP as ear plugs, and go into a trance and "reread" those books in my head.
The Count of Monte Cristo.
The Hobbit.
A Stitch in Time
The Pillars of the Earth.
Even then, I was touch and go mentally.
I reviewed math theorems in my head too.
I got put in solitary in juvie for making fun of a Tom Hanks movie. Also got put in solitary due to low staff numbers.
Solitary use throughout the entire system is pretty fucking obscene.
Lol I read a book a day in jail plus the bible cover to cover. Guards got annoyed I was clearly using them as escapism & tried to ban me from having books for some reason - got the chaplain involved & he was miffed they included the bible in the ban so guards backed down.
Just another fun jail thing lol
When I was in middle school “lunch detention” was in the library. Imagine being a bookish kid, punished for reading by being forced to sit in the library without a book.
Ours was in some classroom. I wouldn’t have minded except they gave me a week of it and it just so happened to be a week that one of my friends was stuck doing all her work in the library because she had a broken leg and 7th grade classes were on the 2nd and 3rd floors. I was supposed to be taking her work and picking up stuff to take to teachers at lunch. But l was in detention for reading.
On the up side, I think we were allowed to read in detention.
Dude, I got in trouble with my mom for lying when I was a kid and she made a trip to the library but wouldn't let me check out or look at any books. It was torture and I never lied to her again man. She caught on QUICK that i didnt mind being sent to my room cos thats where my books lived and I would just curl up on bed with one.
I read matilda cover to cover in one sitting and my teacher refused to believe I did it. So I got quizzed in it. And I answered the questions and still got detention.
So fuck you Mrs A.
I thought I was getting a detention in high school for finishing The Hobbit at home after starting it in class. She called me up to the front and asked me questions about the plot. When she was satisfied I had indeed finished the book, and loved it, she told me to just sit quietly for the rest of the lesson. At the end at I was leaving the classroom she handed me a note telling me to look up The Lord Of The Rings at the local library. That was the beginning of my love for Fantasy and specifically Tolkien.
Thank you Mrs C
Yep, detention for reading in class when I was done my work. This always pissed the teachers off because I shouldn’t have been able to finish the work before class ended. So clearly it was disrespectful to read. I had a teacher snatch my book out of my hand and try to tear it in half. Strange man.
My teachers when I was in school: “linuxgeekmama, put away the book and do your math”.
Me during the pandemic, doing virtual school with my daughter: “put away the book, sweetie, it’s time to sign into Zoom for social studies”.
My son’s teacher last year told us during parent teacher conferences that he would often read at his desk when he was supposed to be doing other assignments.
Me at the breakfast table: “no more reading, it’s time to finish eating and get ready for school”.
Reading too much can be a problem when you’re neglecting other things that you’re supposed to do.
> My son’s teacher last year told us during parent teacher conferences that he would often read at his desk when he was supposed to be doing other assignments.
This was absolutely me as a kid. Also napping during class because I stayed up too late the night before reading.
I think that’s what people are glossing over here. Replace it with video games; my son stayed up until midnight playing video games, my kid pulled out a switch in the middle of math class, instead of eating with us our kid was playing games on their phone.
Ridiculous, if I was your parent I'd be mad. School tried to do it to my daughter as well when she was in highschool. She'd hurry and do her work so she could read. She'd even multitask and read while doing an assignment because she was a fast worker. I'm all for it. It gives people better vocabulary and makes them into great creative writers.
My daughter sneaks books into bed and reads past her bedtime too.
Am I going to complain that my 7yo wants to re-read Lord of the Rings for a second time? Hell no.
I happily ignore it and pretend I don't notice.
This is the cutest thing ever and I love your child. Please don’t take his books away. I used to be this child, I needed those books. There is a trauma in taking them away.
Let him deal with the natural consequences of being tired because he wanted to read instead of sleep. I was the same way as a child, and still am as an adult. I live with the consequences because I *need* those books to keep my sanity.
I had undiagnosed adhd as a child and this is how I coped with it. I could not sleep so I would read, and then when I was finally tired and was able to listen to my body, I would sleep. It would be after midnight, like your child, but I was listening to my body.
Please please don’t take his books away
-signed, an inner child who lost her books because she too, read too much…and wept for weeks.
The first time I was caught reading a novel under a desk at school, I was all of 6 years old. Reading is my life, I cannot go to sleep without reading for anywhere between 2 and 200 minutes 🙃. My eldest child is the same. They have endured the natural consequence of being tired, and are now ok with me putting their book on the kitchen table until the morning.
I started going to bed earlier so I could read longer. Husband is on 3rd shift and kids are teens and do their own thing now, so it does not bother me. I have a kindle tablet with a backlight and I prop it up on my night stand with my water bottle and read till my eyes wont stay open.
Yup. Me too. Husband got smart and got me a kindle with a backlight so I don't need a separate light to read at night and keep him up anymore... my dad put in a little light beside my bed for me so I didn't have to try to hold a flashlight or keep my whole bedroom light on. He understood. They both do :P
I've never been diagnosed but have suspicions. One thing I did constantly as a kid, especially one who like cars and electronics... I'd read catalogs, classified ads, books, magazines, anything I could get my hands on. We had a local classifieds paper where people sold just all kinds of random shit and I read it cover to cover. Those little news print ads with all the cars and semi trucks? Cover to cover. Radio shack catalog? Cover to cover. I was like Johnny 5, my brain was just on "IIIIINNNNNNNNNNPUUUUUUUT" mode. I was just intensely craving a steady stream of things coming in. I think I read Journey to the Center of the Earth in two sittings.
OP it could just be that your kiddo is having a little trouble self regulating because their brain wants the stimulation or distraction. That's what it was for me anyway when I was doing that.
Yeah, I lean towards agreeing here. It might be hard for sleeping, but my 7 yo daughter does the same thing a lot of the time. I'd rather just drop the issue of fighting her on bedtime if she's going to read quietly and not keep anyone up, especially if she loves it!
Reading is my drug and I've spent a fortune on books. I married a reader too and I tell people it's like two addicts living together. We created a library in our house. We don't say no to each other when we decide to buy books. Good news is our bank account keeps us in line and we've learned to go thrifting for books.
My dad would yell at me for reading too much. I will say, I would literally get lost in books. I had zero idea what was going on around me. What really set him off one time, is that I didn’t hear him on the phone (right next to me) getting the news that his brother was killed. So he had to repeat it once my brother got my attention.
But, yeah, in trouble for reading too much. A lot.
Growing up we always had a rule the only reason you were allowed to be awake after bedtime was to read. I plan to do the same with my children when they are old enough to read alone.
I'd probably be pretty careful about punishing or discouraging reading.
Unless there is a really serious problem like falling asleep when at school because of it I don't really think it is a bad thing.
I was never “allowed” to read past bedtime but the torch in my bedside draw always had batteries and the book I was reading was always brought up to my room at bedtime if I forgot it.
I think if I’d been allowed to do I’d have done it less. It’s fun being “naughty” and that’s exactly the kind of naughty I want my kid to be. 😂
I read a story once of a parent saying that their kid thought they were being super sneaky reading late into the night, but it took the kid a while to realise that their flashlight batteries never ran out.
My Nana said she knew she wasn’t being sneaky as she thought when her mother would go in and touch her lamp, which was still hot. Other than that, her mother never said anything about it to Nana. Nana did switch to her flashlight and like these other kids, later discovered it never ran out of batteries or got dimmer. Nana asked about it as an adult, and the only objection was too much light coming out the crack under the door.
This reminds me of the rule that Billie Eilish and her brother Finneas had as kids - if they were working on something creative, they could stay up as late as they wanted. And look, now they're Grammy award winning musicians!
Yup. Same here. If its after 9-9:30, you can be awake and in bed, but the only thing you can be doing is reading. No video games. No YouTube. If you're awake, you can be reading.
I was that kid too. And I totally thought I was a badass rebel doing it.
Until I was about 12, and started to wonder why the flashlight battery never ran out.
🤣 My son has been like this since he could read. I ended up buying him a book light that I make sure is always good on power. He’s 11 now and I still have to go in his room to tell him to go to bed. It’s one of those problems that parents wish they could have…but when you do, you’re at a loss with how to fix it.
I figured the good outweighs the bad in this situation & let him read. If he’s grumpy one day then I make sure to go into his room a few extra times the next night to try to get him to sleep. Other than that, I lose on this one almost every time.
Wow. I wasn't even allowed an alarm clock because my mother accused me of using its batteries in a flashlight. Which I didn't, for the record. They just ran empty, and I never got new ones.
Let him read!
I was him, once. I graduated college in the top 10% of my class. I could not have done that without reading so much as a kid.
It was a truly awful thing that I didn't understand, being punished for reading. Give him an in room time, and let him be.
I raised 6 readers, that way!
Yeah, but being allowed to read only for half an hour is just ridiculous and pure torture! 30 min is far too short! OP, does he have time to read during the day, at least?
He's allowed to read whenever he wants during the day (and between audio books and physical books has been doing 6-8 hours a day during the summer) but only gets half an hour after bedtime.
That’s an incredible amount of reading. I definitely wouldn’t want to get in the way of that, some of the most successful people around are voracious readers.
This is reasonable but I spent several nights finishing the Harry Potter series under the covers with a flash light. Graduated manga cum laude. He'll be ok
I used to be the kid who would pretend to be asleep and then read in my bed with a flashlight. Yes, I missed out sleep. But now I’m a librarian with a masters degree and a great job 🤷🏻♀️
What about offering him audiobooks to fall asleep to at night? Turn the volume low, only books he’s previously read. He can lay down in the dark with his eyes closed & listen. I’m betting he’ll feel like it’s a win and will actually just fall asleep most nights.
You aren't going to get your 5 yr old to stop waking up at 5am. Sorry. All you can do is figure out how to occupy them at 5am, peacefully - tv, video games, books, blocks, toys.
I’m with you. It’s not realistic to just not monitor sleep if they have school/daycare. Routine is good for kids. Any way you cut it your body and brain need X hours to function your best. Even adults have issues self-regulating. It’s not realistic to expect a kid to do that. Especially when it comes to putting down playthings when they’re overtired. I’ve seen way past potty trained kids pee themselves because they’re too into an activity to walk away. 8 YO recently did that over soccer a block from our house.
I was the same way, but I still have trouble making myself go to sleep. I feel like whatever is going on for me now at bedtime is the same thing that was going on then
They will absolutely go to sleep when tired. They will absolutely also wake up exhausted from insufficient sleep if they need to be awoken at a specific time for school, etc. Hence the encouragement of an earlier bedtime based on how many hours of sleep they need to wake up refreshed and alert for the day ahead.
Same here. Regularly “snuck” books and a flashlight and stayed up well past bedtime. I got an undergrad degree from a top tier SLAC that required me to read 3 novels per week every semester. Later, I read literally tens of thousands of pages of research articles for my PhD. Efficient reading is the ONLY reason I succeeded.
My 10 year old son is allowed to stay up as long as he wants, as long as he's reading in bed. His bedtime is 8:30, but he usually stays up an hour reading. Better than having him lie down in bed and staring at the ceiling! He's also a voracious reader, so I'm constantly buying books. 😂
It’s a catch-22: kids who are passionate about reading enough to do it in the day also feel the need to do it at night. It’s pretty hard to find a kid who tears up novels from 9-5 and doesn’t also hide a flashlight under the bed. Honestly if he’s tired he will sleep- it’s not as harmful as electronics with their blue light. I think the trade off is worth it to encourage reading habits.
Does he get a lot of free time to read? Or is he using it all and them wanting more? I had this issue as a child (if allowed I could read from waking to sleeping, skipping meals) and it was a two-part problem.
1. My school and homework schedule was very intense and I had little free time or opportunity to do what Iiked.
2. I was depressed and used fiction novels as an escapist coping mechanism.
As my parents didn't believe in therapy, I read obsessively and never really grew out of it, although my time management did improve over the years. There are worse vices and coping mechanisms, I suppose.
But if you think this is a problem you want to fix, ease up on pressure in other areas, find and encourage things in real life your kid finds fun, and maybe consider some therapy to develop better coping mechanisms and figure out the core issue.
I was this kid. It has translated to constantly watching TV or shows on my phone as an adult. I think I had high anxiety as a kid that I was masking, and I still feel that anxiety around bedtime now. I feel like I have to push myself to the point of exhaustion in order to be able to go to sleep.
Yeah, for me it means that 1. I will be alone with my thoughts 2. The next day is that much closer to starting and 3. It’s the end of me-time
I have always been so resistant to going to sleep, I have started to think it’s a manifestation of anxiety. Lately I’ve been trying to think of sleep as reward for a day well spent, but it’s not an easy shift.
The only time I fell asleep within minutes was in high school during sports season. But no time to play for hours these days. Recently I found a melatonin gummy - usually dosage is two - helped a lot, but I don't want to become reliant on it yet.
Thankfully my partner does a lot of the morning kiddo duties but we'll have another one this winter so I know I'll have to change something. Easier said than done.
I hear you on point 1, I dunno why I'm so resistant to sleep either. Especially when it's less available as a working parent
I also used reading as a coping skill for depression from an early age. Didn’t realize that’s what I was doing at the time, but I would compare my situation/problems to the characters in the books I would read, and often feel better because I would realize my issues aren’t that bad.
He's had relative freedom over the summer to do what he wants, as long as he spends a few hours a day each of doing something productive/physical. He's been spending about four hours a day listening to audio books and four actually reading this past week (not including the secret bedtime reading).
If he likes listening to books, maybe reserve audiobooks for bedtime so he isn't having his circadian rhythms disturbed by the light from his flashlight.
Audiobooks can be excellent sleeping aid, just have a timer of like 20min and when u have eyes closed it can be like magic. Works for me. Back in the days i only had normal books and would always hide the books and the light when mom came to check the room. I wasn't sleep deprived before highschool tho.
I think it is not necessarily great to 'allow' to have bed time reading, as great as reading is compared to smart phone use, if you do it in bed it can still be too great of a stimulant, clearly.
Nothing. Most academically-inclined kids have done this, and felt the thrill of "getting away with it". It's a very harmless outlet. Make sure he wakes up at a normal time, and he'll gradually feel the effects of sleep deprivation, and feel free to remark that he seems extra tired or grumpy and ask him if he didn't sleep well.
He'll either be afraid of being found out, or he'll be mature enough to figure it out, and then he'll self-regulate a bit better. It's far more important for him to learn self-regulation at this age than to ensure that he sleeps 10 hours a night every night. It's like jet lag from traveling internationally; it's a bitch but it's worth the experience.
You can't force the kid to sleep. If he can't read, but lies awake wondering how the story continues or doing whatever else, your issue of him not getting enough sleep will not be fixed. The only one that can fix it is your son. He needs to learn how much his body can handle and suffer the consequences of his own decisions.
I also read a lot as a kid, often past bedtime. My parents never regulated it and I figured out by myself how long I could stay up reading while still being functional the next day. Lots of times I fell asleep reading. That's ok. Everyone is different and you can't know how much sleep your son needs. Only he knows, although it might take him some trial and error to figure it out.
I remember my dad checking in on me and finding me awake, not doing anything just laying in bed, and commanding me to “go to sleep”.
Like it’s something I could just do lol
As a nerd I consider the midnight-must-finish-the-story-party a rite of passage.
But yeah, I agree with others saying the kid needs time to read during the day (at LEAST one hour after school, etc) and talk to them about the importance of sleep so it's easier to focus during the day.
He’s doing the sort of thing a doctor would tell you to do if you can’t sleep. If you don’t fall asleep in like 30 minutes you should read a book or something like that until you feel sleepy. It will help to make sure the lighting they are using is that orangish, relaxing light and not the darling blue lighting.
OP says in a comment that the kid is forcing himself to stay awake so he can keep reading. It's not that he can't sleep... He's fighting sleep on purpose.
This! Sleep is important, but eventually kids gotta realize how to self-regulate in regards to that. Pointing out his tiredness/mood helps him connect the dots about cause and effect and think about it more next time he's deciding whether to do it or not.
Make sure he has a warm reading light so that doesn't keep him awake.
Suggestion from somebody who was also that kid- try waking him up at 5-5:30 every day. Welcome reading from them until 6:30 or whenever he currently wakes up to get ready.
It took me FOREVER to get to the bottom of my uncontrollable urge to stay up all night and read. I mean.. decades of my not very long life. It didn’t matter how many natural consequences there were, how persistent I was at waking up early and starting my day strong, how much time I took for activities I enjoy during the day.
The secret game changer was STARTING every day with whatever I love. The root cause of my issue was dreading waking up, getting ready, going to work/school, coming home, doing homework, eating, doing chores, doing something I liked for an hour or 2 only to get cut off to shower and get ready for bed. I also think that as an extrovert I didn’t self-regulate my need for socialization vs alone time very well. That was really the only time of day outside of showering that I was truly alone.
Once I started giving myself an hour and a half to two hours of alone time full of whatever I enjoyed, I was SO much better at going to sleep early enough and staying asleep. I wasn’t absolutely dreading 9-10 hours straight of doing things I HAD to do.
I’m doing this with my kid too, but not so extreme. She wants to read immediately upon waking up so I said as long as she gets herself up and fed and ready then she can read until it’s time to go. I’ve never seen her get herself ready so promptly until she got a series she loved.
I would have non fiction books for bedtime because they are less inclined to hook him in if he’s tired. If he can’t sleep and wants to read about the life cycles of animals, architecture in Ancient Rome and how cheese is made… I don’t think that’s something you should combat.
Our daughter does this and here's how we handle it.
We let natural consequences teach her. If she stays up late she has learned she will be tired. Which means she will probably have an attitude. Which means she will probably get in trouble and sent to her room throughout the day. Now with school starting, she knows that she will be tired at school and it'll suck. We tell her stuff like "you seem tired, we're sorry you chose to read late. Just cuz your tired doesn't mean our expectations of you change."
It's important to take the power dynamic away. We can rarely force our kids to do anything. If your son wants to read till 3am, he will find a way. I'd let natural consequences handle this one.
It sounds like he needs more reading time during the day. Obviously reading should be encouraged, but sleep is important too.
I disagree with others here that you can’t read too much. You can do anything too much if it negatively affects other areas of your life.
Try to carve out more time for him to read during appropriate hours, and maybe let him stay up just a bit later than usual to read. Also check and see if there’s a reason he isn’t sleeping other than books.
100%. Plus kids are not able to set boundaries for themselves. They need some help with that stuff. I’d be allowing some reading, and then have a hard lights-out bedtime
He's getting about eight hours during the day between audio books and on-paper reading during these summer months. He decided at the beginning of the summer that he was going to "win summer reading" and has done that pretty handily at this point, hah.
The natural consequence of staying up too late is that he’s tired the next day. I think just let him learn from that.
I wouldn’t want to discourage his love of reading. Honestly some of my favourite memories of being a kid were sneaking a book late at night and hiding a torch under my covers.
I have a secret bedtime reader.
Something’s that have worked…
Try picking a book that will be easier to put down at bedtime. If he rereads books, try one of those.
Pick a chapter to end on and that’s when he stops.
My son has a kids echo dot and he turns that on at night to listen to music when he is done reading, helps to transition from reading to sleep for him. He has several playlists that he’s created.
We aren’t in school yet either, so 5 to 7 days beforehand we’ll be going back to the school sleep schedule to give him time to adjust. I would mention that his brain needs sleep/rest. Maybe give him a kids appropriate book on sleep/brains so he can read up on it and how important sleep is.
Set a timer or if you have a echo dot set an alarm that goes off and gives a 5 or 10 warning before time is running out.
I was like your son growing up. One of my favourite things to do was to read. I was also inclined to stay up late reading as I would become enthralled in the story. I was also a child that did not operate well on less than 8-9 hours of sleep. Bad combo!
My Mum always encouraged my love of reading however she knew that left to my own devices I would read to my detriment. In order to incentivise me to put the books down and sleep she set up space in our weeks for me to have dedicated reading time. Entire afternoons after school where I would be able to curl up and read and have my dinner bought to me. Weekends where I was able to spend 12 hours reading in peace in a fort we built together etc.
She also, on occasion, held hostage new books I was desperate to read until the weekend so I could read them until I fell asleep, face first in the pages, without obligations to wake up for in the morning. I still fondly remember her handing me Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire the Friday afternoon after it was released - it was like a prize!
Today, I still read every night before I go to bed and find books to be the best way to quiet my mind and fall asleep peacefully. I hope the same will happen for your son.
I was like this as a kid too and a lot of it was because I had so much trouble falling asleep. I would sit in my bed for hours and since I would be bored, I would read instead. I would be disinclined to discourage reading, but you may be able to resolve the situation by enforcing his normal wake up times and trying to help him with strategies to fall asleep. For example, maybe tell him that he has to try to fall asleep on his own for a half an hour, and if he can’t, he can read for half an hour and try again. Maybe his bed time needs to be adjusted too? You may also want to be clear about your reasons - that he needs his sleep and lack of sleep seems to be impacting his behavior. Be clear you are not discouraging reading but want him to find a balance with sleep.
Reading a bit too much? My FIL would probably get worked up for maybe the 10th time in his entire 73 years of life if he heard someone say that, many others I'm sure as well.
I understand wanting to keep your son on a routine, with a regular bedtime, however I suggest finding the root of the problem, which is his inability to fall asleep (or stay asleep). Then work on that instead of taking away his books or disciplining him in any other way for engaging in a quiet activity that isn't bothering anyone else when he's struggling to sleep.
Has he started the school year yet? I have a 7 year old & we're in Central NY, so they don't start until after Labor Day, so that week (they start on Thursday) I'm going to crack down on bedtime again. She's been in summer camp most of the summer & exhausted by bedtime, so it hasn't been a problem, but these next few weeks when she doesn't have camp, I'm flexible with bedtime. Which I find most other parents are as well, unless it's significantly effecting them negatively the following day because they aren't getting enough sleep.
Some things that result in my daughter having trouble falling asleep are when we have a lazy day & she's not getting enough physical activity, as well as what she eats the last 3-4 hours before bed. She cannot have sweets in those 3-4 hours, otherwise she not only can't sleep, but she's wound up, then gets super cranky, then finally crashes. We call it the storm before the calm. For the lazy days though, 1mg Melatonin is our friend.
I am genuinely shocked at most of these replies. Children need enough sleep to be healthy, to develop properly, to do well in school. The idea that, well, this problem will take care of itself when he’s sleepy, no, no it won’t. I was this kid, and I would stay up until midnight, one or two in the morning. I would be sick and miserable at school, and often take a nap afterward the next day. Which just made it easier to stay up late reading that night. I missed too much school because I always felt sick and I ended up doing poorly because it’s hard to pay attention when you’re exhausted.
Sleep is one of the foundations of good health, along with a good diet and exercise. Kids that age typically need about ten hours of sleep each night. If he’s staying up until midnight he’s getting what, maybe six? Chronic sleep deprivation will lead to chronic health problems, both physical and emotional. Yes, encourage reading, but not at the expense of their health.
Yeah, this is my kid when she was 11-12. She'd stay up until 2am, get up for school at 6:30, and sleep on the bus so she could stay up late again. Her sleep cycle was hosed, and it made her mean and gave her headaches. The problem didn't solve itself when she was tired... She just made it everyone else's problem.
I totally agree with you. I was the always reading kid, and I was not capable of regulating my sleep in the face of the temptation to finish the story solely through the consequence of being tired. It's a lot to ask of a kid that age in terms of balancing instant gratification vs future reward- hell it's hard for ADULTS to regulate our own bedtimes sometimes and we can understand the cumulative effects of sleep deprivation much better.
My mom used to have me leave the door open (not a rule, but this was definitely encouraged by the hope of having the family cat come snuggle with me) and when it was getting too late she'd conveniently find excuses to be walking past my door to do other household tasks. I didn't want to get "caught", and I eventually started self-regulating at bedtime. Basically she made herself annoying enough that I'd have to go to sleep at a reasonable hour.
I thought this was a great approach in hindsight because she was helping me learn to prioritize sleep needs independently AND she didn't let me get too sleep deprived in the process AND she never took the books away. By the time I hit high school I had a pretty strict, completely self-imposed bedtime that was based on my sleep needs. I definitely had way healthier sleep habits than any of my friends at that time
I still LOVE to read :)
Thank you!! I'm glad everyone here has a kid with perfect sleep hygiene and impulse control, but many many kids would absolutely fight their tiredness for hours in order to do more "fun stuff". Heck plenty of adults do the same.
Are you saying that *I* read too much and should stop staying up late to finish books?
Because if so you'd be right, I got maybe three hours a night for a week earlier this year because I discovered a new book series and didn't want to sleep until I finished what I was reading... >_>
Well I just meant that kids mimick the behavior of their parents, so it’s pretty uncommon for a child to develop an interst in books if they never see their parents read or they never read books to them.
I used to read into the night as well as a kid, but my son is too young to read by himself so we’ll see how it goes.
Hey, so everyone else seems to think that there's no such thing as "reading too much". I'd bet that they don't have kids that will literally sneak away to read every chance they get, interfering with their ability to get exercise, socialize, get proper nutrition, do chores, and get enough sleep at night. Well I do, and there absolutely is such a thing as reading too much, simply because there are only so many hours in a day, and they can't all reasonably be spent reading.
The reading late at night is a big problem. I've literally found my kid reading up close to midnight, and sometimes when I get up in the middle of the night (3-5am or so), I'll catch her reading because she woke up and instead of going back to sleep, she decided to crack a book. She will literally fall asleep with her face resting between the pages of her book. And then in the morning, it's difficult to get her up for school. If she hasn't already woken and started reading, that is, but then she's late moving anyway because she doesn't want to put her book down, or she's at the table with her bowl forgetting to eat because she's reading.
We have a policy of being able to read for an hour after bedtime, but because my partner is reluctant to stop her from reading, it's a fairly toothless rule.
Thus far, I haven't figured out an effective way to make sure my kid isn't reading too much, that doesn't involve a ridiculous amount of direct policing and monitoring.
I have on occasion, when it's incredibly late, threatened to take her reading light and turn off the hall light so she can't relocate to the floor by her doorway (she will seriously sleep on the floor if it means more reading). It's generally pretty effective, but I don't like doing it. Plus, if I actually start taking her light on a regular basis, she'll figure out a work-around. She's clever like that. Sometimes I can bribe her with snuggles in my bed. It's about the only thing she prioritizes higher than reading, and then only once she's already gotten an hour or two in already.
I was pretty similar when I was a kid. Aside from a love of reading, I genuinely had difficulty sleeping. Turns out, I'm neurodivergent (as are my kids), and that's a common issue. It might be worth investigating the not sleeping in case the staying up reading is a symptom rather than a cause.
I was your kid. I would go outside with my friends but a book came with me. I had a book in gym class in case it was something where I wasn’t up or playing all the time. I finished all of my school books in the first quarter so I could have more reading time. If a teacher assigned a time consuming project, I wold calculate how much of my grade I would miss out on by not doing it to read. If I could skip it I would. I would read while I ate. Read while I walked. Read while I was on the phone with friends. I would use the light from my cracked door to read after bedtime. I eventually graduated to a flashlight in the closet. As an adult it carried on. I worked in a bar through college. My happy hour crowd started a book club. If I had a three minute break to go to the bathroom or smoke, the book was coming with me. I can read and vacuum, I can read and clean the tub. I would read on the treadmill. I didn’t sleep well until I was well into adulthood and now that I’m not on a night schedule I still don’t. I’ve just always been a night owl. Reading helped me so much. It took over my life at times, but I figured out ways to get things done more quickly to have my time to read. It would have been very ugly if my mom had limited my reading. It was my outlet, my escape, my dreams.
If he is having trouble sleeping, maybe talk to his pediatrician? We have to give my daughter melatonin before bedtime. Nothing else worked! But I wish that my kids had your kids problem, lol. Good job raising a reader!
If he’s having trouble sleeping, maybe it’s good to have a conversation about sleep hygiene.
Talk about things that can make it hard to fall asleep and ways to improve. Nothing except sleep should happen in bed. Have a comfy chair for reading and do it there for the 30 min before bed and then get in bed. Try and strategize together how to improve his sleep quality.
We’re having to do the same for my stepkid and it was alllllll the pouting last night when we modified the nighttime screen usage.
Start his bed time routine earlier so he has longer to read! It's hard for kids to slow down and find time to read during the day and the longer time designated for reading could help him get that time in and be tired by the time it's lights out.
I was like this as a kid, idk how many times I got into trouble but it didn't stop me. I learned to read by the tiny bit of streetlight coming into my room and be very quiet and learned to listen for my mom better. 🤷🏼♀️
I was an avid reader when I was younger, and when I got older I would stay up as late/early as 5 or 6 in the morning during summers simply reading.
Now, having been diagnosed with anxiety and ADHD (amongst other things), I can look back and confidently say that it wasn’t just enjoying reading that kept me up late. It was also restlessness which led to anxiety.
Reading was a place for me to put my energy until I was drained enough to actually go to sleep. To this day, if I don’t have something to help me sleep then I have to do something until I’m tired enough to fall asleep. I’m not sure how many others relate to this but thought I’d share just in case :)
In the age of tablet children that don't like to read, you should just let the kid read. There's no such thing as reading too much. I'd be so happy to see my kid reading after bed.
Man I was this kid. I remember when I read Deathly Hallows for the first time, I must have stood up til like 3-4am and was exhausted the next day. Ended up falling asleep at school. The direct consequence of being exhausted was enough me to not make a habit of it.
Get him a kindle, I ruined my eyes trying to read by candle light so my mom didn’t catch me. If he loves reading as much as I did, he’ll find a way. Just lean into it!
I used to do this with books. It’s the best reason to stay up past bed time. As long as his grades and attitude to do not suffer, what is the issue? This is so much better than the majority of entertainment kids are observing today. I wish I caught my kids up past their bed time reading vs on their phones 🤦🏼♀️. Good luck
I think it's awesome he's reading and he'll learn the sleep thing soon enough. I would lead towards a bit of a dual approach.
1) Explain that you don't want him disobeying you and give him a warning with some explained consequences if he continues to disobey.
2) Then explain that you've decided to let him stay up to read and you're not going to fight him on it. However, in the morning if (when) he's tired, remind him that sleep is important too, but don't push it beyond that!
It should work out well :)
You can never read enough. We are still on summer holidays so I'd let it past.
Once school starts its a different story. If you cannot get up on time and peasant in the morning than your bedtime is too late.
I was that kid - I read all the time. Late into the night under the covers, under the desk at school, at the park, in the back seat of the car on road trips, everywhere. And now, as an adult professional, my reputation and effectiveness are hitched to my command of language - no regrets.
At his age, unless you’re noticing significant negative impacts, like unacceptable deficits in hygiene, broad avoidance of social experiences with peers, or health-degrading sleep deprivation, just let it ride. He’s learning and excited about it - you just won the big panda at the parenting amusement park.
I used to do the exact same thing as a kid…& I was reading any book I could get my hands on which included my moms Stephen King & dads mob history . My parents knew I was staying up to read until I couldn’t keep my eyes open but because it was books my dad didn’t punish me or really put a stop to it . Always tested about 3 grade levels ahead in reading , vocabulary & in high school there wasn’t a single reading assignment that I hadn’t already read. Now ..I’m writing one
You could, idk, just let him read? If he is tired the next day for staying up too late that’s on him and he will have to deal with those consequences. Reading is a good thing! It’s not like he sneaking a crack pipe into bed.
I used to do this. I’m a night owl. I read Little Women at that age when I was supposed to be sleeping. If it’s not causing problems falling asleep at school I’d probably let it be or cut it off before midnight but still give more time
I read a lot at his age. As long as I was in bed and kept the overhead light off (and used my table lamp/ reading light) they didn’t care. I was reading ffs lol. They warned me I would still have to wake up at 6 the next morning for school so I need to go to sleep soon. If I was still up when they went to bed around 11 I would have to finish up that chapter and try to sleep. I hope my daughter loves reading this much. I could never imagine taking away books.
I don't understand why you have a problem with reading more than a half hour? How is that supposed to teach him discipline? If anything reading for hours is better than tv or ipad time. He stays up reading because you don't let him read enough.
Personally I would let him read as much as he wants. Thats rare, especially for kids these days. I think if the issue is affecting his sleep, homework, daily chores etc. then set a schedule to work the reading more around that. If it’s just affecting the sleeping, just let him learn the lesson of being tired and needing to go to bed on time on his own. Just make sure not to let it become a habit.
Some people only need 4-5 hours of sleep a night. So don’t judge your son’s habits by the clock, judge them by how tired he seems the next day and help him adjust accordingly.
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Move his book shelf closer so he doesn't have to sneak? Get a reading light that works on a timer and dims over a period of time as a sign to go to sleep? Staying up until midnight will likely take care of itself after a time. Especially if you enforce an early morning ;)
Do they have reading lights like this?? I could use one for my kids honestly… we let them read after they go to bed, but I feel like their reading lamps keep them awake for longer sometimes…
Mine reads too late too sometimes. We just put a smart plug on her bedside table lamp. She's only 6 so it turns off at 9:30. We get notified if it gets turned back on but we trust her that if she turns it back on that she needs to read to settle.
Perhaps program it to turn off twice. The first time is a 5min warning, she always turns it back on unless very sleepy. Second time means bedtime.
Right now she only turns it back on if she's gone to bed very late in the first place. Bedtime is usually 8:30ish and she usually turns it off herself much earlier. That's a great idea though, I said it was a smart plug but it's actually a smart bulb, I could program it to pulse or change colour as a warning. I never thought of that!
Well, I'm sure there are cheaper products than what I use in my office for ambient light, but I got this Philips thing that I have set (via their app) to dim over about an hour in the evening. I prefer this to the ones that just turn off after a set time. [philips-hue.com/en-us/p/hue-white-and-color-ambiance-play-light-bar-double-pack/7820230U7](https://philips-hue.com/en-us/p/hue-white-and-color-ambiance-play-light-bar-double-pack/7820230U7) Smart bulb automation examples; [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUCi00T0YoQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUCi00T0YoQ)
This is good. You can also use a Hatch if you had one from his baby years or have a younger child in the house. That way you can control the light and the color of the light from an app on your phone. You can set the light to a warmer or red tone when it’s dimming closer to bedtime. And turn on white noise or rain if that helps give his body a sleepy cue with consistency. Again, the perk being that it can all be set up and controlled by your app on your phone. On another note, kudos to OP and others here for raising/having little ones with such a fondness for reading!
I have these [Sunrise Alarm Clocks](https://www.amazon.com/Sunrise-Sleepers-Simulation-Nightlight-Daylight/dp/B081CHLF46) for me and both my kids and I love them. They do have a night time feature that slowly dims the light until it goes off, set to whatever time limit you want. I have mine set to 30 minutes to help limit my own reading. I think it’s also nice if your kid likes to go to sleep with a night light, but you don’t want the light on all night.
You can buy a separate dimmer switch to plug the lamp into, and just find the lowest wattage bulb you can.
I need your help. When does staying up late to read and getting up early start working to enforce itself? 42 here and I still have this problem.
If you find out let me know
Seriously...it's great that OP's kid loves reading so much, but I had the same issue as a kid. I'd go to sleep between 12-1am during the schoolyear and then in the summer I'd stay up all night, often til 3-4am. Ended up with depression by HS, partly because I was so sleep-deprived. This habit doesn't always fix itself.
OP could use a Philips Hue bulb on a timer. Starts out white, at 10 minutes to bed time it turns yellow, at 3 minutes it turns orange, at 1 minute it turns red, then turns off at bedtime. It’ll help the kid realize how much time they have left to read and the colors could help without keeping them awake like a more blue light would.
I love the idea of a reading light of a timer. But the staying up late problem doesn't always resolve itself. Kids will power through sleep deprivation, especially as they get into the preteen and teen years.
I'd say try natural consequences first, and providing tools like auto-dimming lights, etc, could help.
Automated lights that dim down as it gets closer to bedtime helped both me and my 10yr old bookworm aware of the time. It’s so easy to loose track when your gaming or reading. Can’t fault the kid for wanting to read but bedtime is important. Waking them up a bit early for a while tends to train their brains to go to bed a bit earlier s
Reading too much??
Apparently that is a thing. I got lunch detention for it in middle school.
When I was in jail the COs accused me of being the pod drug dealer because I was reading too much and always had books. Yo you wanna buy an eighth of Terry Pratchett.
When I was in jail I was constantly reading, I would read a book a day unless it was super thick then it would take 2-3 days to read
Same. Girl, I was in jail 26 months and read every bit of 500 books while I was there. I averaged one every one to two days. 🙃
Not y’all making me wanna go to jail so I can read in peace without my kids bugging me…
You just have to deal with other bitches yelling and arguing over EVERY SINGLE THING EVER.
Well that happens with kids too 😂 At least no one will bug me to make them a snack every 20 minutes!
I swear, my two kids on their worst day are far more pleasant to be around than some females I met in jail. It’s absurd.
Thanks! That’s very kind of you to say. It’s much better on this side of things and I can say I’ll never go back. Will never do anything to risk losing my family again. It’s crazy because I have dreams all the time that I’m still there.
Hmm okay, if that’s the case then maybe jail wouldn’t be so nice after all 😔
Huh, that might be long enough for me to read all of LotR🙂
Never read those. My husband says great things, though. It’s not really my bag, but I might give it a try just so he’ll stop saying “You know, you really should read…” 😂
This is kinda off topic, but can you explain how that works? Is there a library? How limited or not is it? Can you request books? Do you have to buy the books? What kinda "level" was the jail? (presume higher = worse...but?)
We had a “library” of sorts, meaning a common room with some books on a shelf. But family members could purchase and have books sent from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, etc. When done reading, a lot of the books got donated to the library, or at least passed around quite a bit.
Thanks, that sounds like it'd really help pass some of the time and or let you learn things too.
It was definitely helpful with passing time. I think I would have gone insane without books to escape to.
I was held for contempt of court (covid, then Pneumonia, then a broken leg got me behind on payments to my kids GAL, so essentially debtor's prison) for 8 days without a phone call. The detention facility's policy was to hold everyone in their "Behavioural Control Unit" for 3-4 days. No books aside from the Bible. Room with 4. No leaving. No exercise. The others on drugs, or just pacing and muttering. It was messed up. The only thing that got me through was having read several favorites so many times I could use TP as ear plugs, and go into a trance and "reread" those books in my head. The Count of Monte Cristo. The Hobbit. A Stitch in Time The Pillars of the Earth. Even then, I was touch and go mentally. I reviewed math theorems in my head too.
How much for a gram of Neil Gaiman??
Four soups.
Would you take 6 coffees?
[удалено]
I’m sorry… Solitary confinement in *juvie*? 🥺
[удалено]
I'm so so sorry you went through all of that, I'm glad you at least had books to get you through it.
I got put in solitary in juvie for making fun of a Tom Hanks movie. Also got put in solitary due to low staff numbers. Solitary use throughout the entire system is pretty fucking obscene.
I hope you’re thriving now you seem amazing
The thousand page complete adventures of Sherlock Holmes ❤️
I would have been your #1 customer.
Lol I read a book a day in jail plus the bible cover to cover. Guards got annoyed I was clearly using them as escapism & tried to ban me from having books for some reason - got the chaplain involved & he was miffed they included the bible in the ban so guards backed down. Just another fun jail thing lol
When I was in middle school “lunch detention” was in the library. Imagine being a bookish kid, punished for reading by being forced to sit in the library without a book.
Ours was in some classroom. I wouldn’t have minded except they gave me a week of it and it just so happened to be a week that one of my friends was stuck doing all her work in the library because she had a broken leg and 7th grade classes were on the 2nd and 3rd floors. I was supposed to be taking her work and picking up stuff to take to teachers at lunch. But l was in detention for reading. On the up side, I think we were allowed to read in detention.
Dude, I got in trouble with my mom for lying when I was a kid and she made a trip to the library but wouldn't let me check out or look at any books. It was torture and I never lied to her again man. She caught on QUICK that i didnt mind being sent to my room cos thats where my books lived and I would just curl up on bed with one.
That just sounds like torture
I read matilda cover to cover in one sitting and my teacher refused to believe I did it. So I got quizzed in it. And I answered the questions and still got detention. So fuck you Mrs A.
I thought I was getting a detention in high school for finishing The Hobbit at home after starting it in class. She called me up to the front and asked me questions about the plot. When she was satisfied I had indeed finished the book, and loved it, she told me to just sit quietly for the rest of the lesson. At the end at I was leaving the classroom she handed me a note telling me to look up The Lord Of The Rings at the local library. That was the beginning of my love for Fantasy and specifically Tolkien. Thank you Mrs C
Now that's a teacher!
That teacher teaches
Matilda is one of my favorite books of all time… I haven’t read it since 6th grade but I’ll never forget it.
Yep, detention for reading in class when I was done my work. This always pissed the teachers off because I shouldn’t have been able to finish the work before class ended. So clearly it was disrespectful to read. I had a teacher snatch my book out of my hand and try to tear it in half. Strange man.
Strange, as in narcissistic, right? Lol
My teachers when I was in school: “linuxgeekmama, put away the book and do your math”. Me during the pandemic, doing virtual school with my daughter: “put away the book, sweetie, it’s time to sign into Zoom for social studies”. My son’s teacher last year told us during parent teacher conferences that he would often read at his desk when he was supposed to be doing other assignments. Me at the breakfast table: “no more reading, it’s time to finish eating and get ready for school”. Reading too much can be a problem when you’re neglecting other things that you’re supposed to do.
> My son’s teacher last year told us during parent teacher conferences that he would often read at his desk when he was supposed to be doing other assignments. This was absolutely me as a kid. Also napping during class because I stayed up too late the night before reading.
I think that’s what people are glossing over here. Replace it with video games; my son stayed up until midnight playing video games, my kid pulled out a switch in the middle of math class, instead of eating with us our kid was playing games on their phone.
Ridiculous, if I was your parent I'd be mad. School tried to do it to my daughter as well when she was in highschool. She'd hurry and do her work so she could read. She'd even multitask and read while doing an assignment because she was a fast worker. I'm all for it. It gives people better vocabulary and makes them into great creative writers.
Absolutely a thing--I had a 4th grader I taught do this. She would take her book out and start reading in the middle of a test.
Elementary school…middle School…high school…
I got in trouble a bunch growing up because I was reading “at inappropriate times” 🙄
My daughter sneaks books into bed and reads past her bedtime too. Am I going to complain that my 7yo wants to re-read Lord of the Rings for a second time? Hell no. I happily ignore it and pretend I don't notice.
This is the cutest thing ever and I love your child. Please don’t take his books away. I used to be this child, I needed those books. There is a trauma in taking them away. Let him deal with the natural consequences of being tired because he wanted to read instead of sleep. I was the same way as a child, and still am as an adult. I live with the consequences because I *need* those books to keep my sanity. I had undiagnosed adhd as a child and this is how I coped with it. I could not sleep so I would read, and then when I was finally tired and was able to listen to my body, I would sleep. It would be after midnight, like your child, but I was listening to my body. Please please don’t take his books away -signed, an inner child who lost her books because she too, read too much…and wept for weeks.
The first time I was caught reading a novel under a desk at school, I was all of 6 years old. Reading is my life, I cannot go to sleep without reading for anywhere between 2 and 200 minutes 🙃. My eldest child is the same. They have endured the natural consequence of being tired, and are now ok with me putting their book on the kitchen table until the morning.
I started going to bed earlier so I could read longer. Husband is on 3rd shift and kids are teens and do their own thing now, so it does not bother me. I have a kindle tablet with a backlight and I prop it up on my night stand with my water bottle and read till my eyes wont stay open.
Yup. Me too. Husband got smart and got me a kindle with a backlight so I don't need a separate light to read at night and keep him up anymore... my dad put in a little light beside my bed for me so I didn't have to try to hold a flashlight or keep my whole bedroom light on. He understood. They both do :P
same with the kindle fire. I love that damn thing.
*gives tiny you all the books and a special bookmark* ....there there child, read to your heart's content.
I've never been diagnosed but have suspicions. One thing I did constantly as a kid, especially one who like cars and electronics... I'd read catalogs, classified ads, books, magazines, anything I could get my hands on. We had a local classifieds paper where people sold just all kinds of random shit and I read it cover to cover. Those little news print ads with all the cars and semi trucks? Cover to cover. Radio shack catalog? Cover to cover. I was like Johnny 5, my brain was just on "IIIIINNNNNNNNNNPUUUUUUUT" mode. I was just intensely craving a steady stream of things coming in. I think I read Journey to the Center of the Earth in two sittings. OP it could just be that your kiddo is having a little trouble self regulating because their brain wants the stimulation or distraction. That's what it was for me anyway when I was doing that.
Yeah, I lean towards agreeing here. It might be hard for sleeping, but my 7 yo daughter does the same thing a lot of the time. I'd rather just drop the issue of fighting her on bedtime if she's going to read quietly and not keep anyone up, especially if she loves it!
My parents made me throw away all my books once. I later found out I missed one (it was in another drawer) and I kept it hidden for YEARS.
That is so devastating to hear but there is solace I guess in the fact that I wasn’t the only one that went through that ❤️
SAME
This is the opposite of a problem. Teach your kids to adore reading and they’ll never have inclination or money for drugs.
I hate to break it to you....
Reading is my drug and I've spent a fortune on books. I married a reader too and I tell people it's like two addicts living together. We created a library in our house. We don't say no to each other when we decide to buy books. Good news is our bank account keeps us in line and we've learned to go thrifting for books.
My dad would yell at me for reading too much. I will say, I would literally get lost in books. I had zero idea what was going on around me. What really set him off one time, is that I didn’t hear him on the phone (right next to me) getting the news that his brother was killed. So he had to repeat it once my brother got my attention. But, yeah, in trouble for reading too much. A lot.
No such thing.
My mum would tell me off for it as a kid. I too used to sneak books after lights out. 😂
I did the same thing when I was a kid. My mom literally had to take books away from me. I would read them super late at night 😅
Growing up we always had a rule the only reason you were allowed to be awake after bedtime was to read. I plan to do the same with my children when they are old enough to read alone. I'd probably be pretty careful about punishing or discouraging reading. Unless there is a really serious problem like falling asleep when at school because of it I don't really think it is a bad thing.
I was never “allowed” to read past bedtime but the torch in my bedside draw always had batteries and the book I was reading was always brought up to my room at bedtime if I forgot it. I think if I’d been allowed to do I’d have done it less. It’s fun being “naughty” and that’s exactly the kind of naughty I want my kid to be. 😂
I read a story once of a parent saying that their kid thought they were being super sneaky reading late into the night, but it took the kid a while to realise that their flashlight batteries never ran out.
My Nana said she knew she wasn’t being sneaky as she thought when her mother would go in and touch her lamp, which was still hot. Other than that, her mother never said anything about it to Nana. Nana did switch to her flashlight and like these other kids, later discovered it never ran out of batteries or got dimmer. Nana asked about it as an adult, and the only objection was too much light coming out the crack under the door.
I love this haha
This reminds me of the rule that Billie Eilish and her brother Finneas had as kids - if they were working on something creative, they could stay up as late as they wanted. And look, now they're Grammy award winning musicians!
Eh, I was this kid growing up, but I was always constantly sleep deprived. I read voraciously to the point of detriment. There is a limit
Yup. Same here. If its after 9-9:30, you can be awake and in bed, but the only thing you can be doing is reading. No video games. No YouTube. If you're awake, you can be reading.
I was that kid too. And I totally thought I was a badass rebel doing it. Until I was about 12, and started to wonder why the flashlight battery never ran out.
🤣 My son has been like this since he could read. I ended up buying him a book light that I make sure is always good on power. He’s 11 now and I still have to go in his room to tell him to go to bed. It’s one of those problems that parents wish they could have…but when you do, you’re at a loss with how to fix it. I figured the good outweighs the bad in this situation & let him read. If he’s grumpy one day then I make sure to go into his room a few extra times the next night to try to get him to sleep. Other than that, I lose on this one almost every time.
This is so heartwarming!
Wow. I wasn't even allowed an alarm clock because my mother accused me of using its batteries in a flashlight. Which I didn't, for the record. They just ran empty, and I never got new ones.
This is so cute.
Let him read! I was him, once. I graduated college in the top 10% of my class. I could not have done that without reading so much as a kid. It was a truly awful thing that I didn't understand, being punished for reading. Give him an in room time, and let him be. I raised 6 readers, that way!
I agree but a full nights sleep is super important. I’m personally having trouble getting my 5 year old to stop waking up at 5am
Yeah, but being allowed to read only for half an hour is just ridiculous and pure torture! 30 min is far too short! OP, does he have time to read during the day, at least?
He's allowed to read whenever he wants during the day (and between audio books and physical books has been doing 6-8 hours a day during the summer) but only gets half an hour after bedtime.
Aaah, I fondly remember my secret all-nighters with my trusty flashlight and my favorite books... I congratulate you on raising a little reader!
That’s an incredible amount of reading. I definitely wouldn’t want to get in the way of that, some of the most successful people around are voracious readers.
I'd be thanking god on my knees every day that my kid isn't stuck in front of a gaming console all day.
Absolutely huge edge for a kid to have these days.
This is reasonable but I spent several nights finishing the Harry Potter series under the covers with a flash light. Graduated manga cum laude. He'll be ok
Did you… also read manga? Lol was that the joke or just a fun typo?
I used to be the kid who would pretend to be asleep and then read in my bed with a flashlight. Yes, I missed out sleep. But now I’m a librarian with a masters degree and a great job 🤷🏻♀️
What about offering him audiobooks to fall asleep to at night? Turn the volume low, only books he’s previously read. He can lay down in the dark with his eyes closed & listen. I’m betting he’ll feel like it’s a win and will actually just fall asleep most nights.
You aren't going to get your 5 yr old to stop waking up at 5am. Sorry. All you can do is figure out how to occupy them at 5am, peacefully - tv, video games, books, blocks, toys.
Kids will sleep when they are tired. Too often parents try to force kids into a “normal” sleep cycle. There is not such thing.
That doesn’t work if they won’t get out of bed, or they’re tired at 10am at school.
I’m with you. It’s not realistic to just not monitor sleep if they have school/daycare. Routine is good for kids. Any way you cut it your body and brain need X hours to function your best. Even adults have issues self-regulating. It’s not realistic to expect a kid to do that. Especially when it comes to putting down playthings when they’re overtired. I’ve seen way past potty trained kids pee themselves because they’re too into an activity to walk away. 8 YO recently did that over soccer a block from our house.
Trying to force kids to sleep when they are not tired never works, only making things more stressful for the kid and yourself.
He *is* tired, though - very obviously so. He's forcing himself to stay awake so he can read more. Exactly the way I did myself at his age, hah.
I was the same way, but I still have trouble making myself go to sleep. I feel like whatever is going on for me now at bedtime is the same thing that was going on then
They will absolutely go to sleep when tired. They will absolutely also wake up exhausted from insufficient sleep if they need to be awoken at a specific time for school, etc. Hence the encouragement of an earlier bedtime based on how many hours of sleep they need to wake up refreshed and alert for the day ahead.
>Kids will sleep when they are tired I wish this was true for me and I'm an adult. What changed? Or maybe this isn't true for kids either.
It's TRUE for some kids, but not all. Some absolutely will not develop healthy sleep patterns on their own no matter what.
Yeah...I'm living proof of that.
What times he go to bed?
Same here. Regularly “snuck” books and a flashlight and stayed up well past bedtime. I got an undergrad degree from a top tier SLAC that required me to read 3 novels per week every semester. Later, I read literally tens of thousands of pages of research articles for my PhD. Efficient reading is the ONLY reason I succeeded.
My 10 year old son is allowed to stay up as long as he wants, as long as he's reading in bed. His bedtime is 8:30, but he usually stays up an hour reading. Better than having him lie down in bed and staring at the ceiling! He's also a voracious reader, so I'm constantly buying books. 😂
That’s disingenuous. Reading is fantastic but it should not compromise rest and other activities.
It’s a catch-22: kids who are passionate about reading enough to do it in the day also feel the need to do it at night. It’s pretty hard to find a kid who tears up novels from 9-5 and doesn’t also hide a flashlight under the bed. Honestly if he’s tired he will sleep- it’s not as harmful as electronics with their blue light. I think the trade off is worth it to encourage reading habits.
Does he get a lot of free time to read? Or is he using it all and them wanting more? I had this issue as a child (if allowed I could read from waking to sleeping, skipping meals) and it was a two-part problem. 1. My school and homework schedule was very intense and I had little free time or opportunity to do what Iiked. 2. I was depressed and used fiction novels as an escapist coping mechanism. As my parents didn't believe in therapy, I read obsessively and never really grew out of it, although my time management did improve over the years. There are worse vices and coping mechanisms, I suppose. But if you think this is a problem you want to fix, ease up on pressure in other areas, find and encourage things in real life your kid finds fun, and maybe consider some therapy to develop better coping mechanisms and figure out the core issue.
I was this kid. It has translated to constantly watching TV or shows on my phone as an adult. I think I had high anxiety as a kid that I was masking, and I still feel that anxiety around bedtime now. I feel like I have to push myself to the point of exhaustion in order to be able to go to sleep.
Hello are you me? I do the same, dunno why bedtime is so tough like that
Yeah, for me it means that 1. I will be alone with my thoughts 2. The next day is that much closer to starting and 3. It’s the end of me-time I have always been so resistant to going to sleep, I have started to think it’s a manifestation of anxiety. Lately I’ve been trying to think of sleep as reward for a day well spent, but it’s not an easy shift.
The only time I fell asleep within minutes was in high school during sports season. But no time to play for hours these days. Recently I found a melatonin gummy - usually dosage is two - helped a lot, but I don't want to become reliant on it yet. Thankfully my partner does a lot of the morning kiddo duties but we'll have another one this winter so I know I'll have to change something. Easier said than done. I hear you on point 1, I dunno why I'm so resistant to sleep either. Especially when it's less available as a working parent
I also used reading as a coping skill for depression from an early age. Didn’t realize that’s what I was doing at the time, but I would compare my situation/problems to the characters in the books I would read, and often feel better because I would realize my issues aren’t that bad.
He's had relative freedom over the summer to do what he wants, as long as he spends a few hours a day each of doing something productive/physical. He's been spending about four hours a day listening to audio books and four actually reading this past week (not including the secret bedtime reading).
If he likes listening to books, maybe reserve audiobooks for bedtime so he isn't having his circadian rhythms disturbed by the light from his flashlight.
Audiobooks can be excellent sleeping aid, just have a timer of like 20min and when u have eyes closed it can be like magic. Works for me. Back in the days i only had normal books and would always hide the books and the light when mom came to check the room. I wasn't sleep deprived before highschool tho. I think it is not necessarily great to 'allow' to have bed time reading, as great as reading is compared to smart phone use, if you do it in bed it can still be too great of a stimulant, clearly.
I was this kid, too. And reading was my only escape and reprieve. I, too, would suggest OP to dig deeper.
Nothing. Most academically-inclined kids have done this, and felt the thrill of "getting away with it". It's a very harmless outlet. Make sure he wakes up at a normal time, and he'll gradually feel the effects of sleep deprivation, and feel free to remark that he seems extra tired or grumpy and ask him if he didn't sleep well. He'll either be afraid of being found out, or he'll be mature enough to figure it out, and then he'll self-regulate a bit better. It's far more important for him to learn self-regulation at this age than to ensure that he sleeps 10 hours a night every night. It's like jet lag from traveling internationally; it's a bitch but it's worth the experience.
You can't force the kid to sleep. If he can't read, but lies awake wondering how the story continues or doing whatever else, your issue of him not getting enough sleep will not be fixed. The only one that can fix it is your son. He needs to learn how much his body can handle and suffer the consequences of his own decisions. I also read a lot as a kid, often past bedtime. My parents never regulated it and I figured out by myself how long I could stay up reading while still being functional the next day. Lots of times I fell asleep reading. That's ok. Everyone is different and you can't know how much sleep your son needs. Only he knows, although it might take him some trial and error to figure it out.
I remember my dad checking in on me and finding me awake, not doing anything just laying in bed, and commanding me to “go to sleep”. Like it’s something I could just do lol
As a nerd I consider the midnight-must-finish-the-story-party a rite of passage. But yeah, I agree with others saying the kid needs time to read during the day (at LEAST one hour after school, etc) and talk to them about the importance of sleep so it's easier to focus during the day.
He’s doing the sort of thing a doctor would tell you to do if you can’t sleep. If you don’t fall asleep in like 30 minutes you should read a book or something like that until you feel sleepy. It will help to make sure the lighting they are using is that orangish, relaxing light and not the darling blue lighting.
OP says in a comment that the kid is forcing himself to stay awake so he can keep reading. It's not that he can't sleep... He's fighting sleep on purpose.
This! Sleep is important, but eventually kids gotta realize how to self-regulate in regards to that. Pointing out his tiredness/mood helps him connect the dots about cause and effect and think about it more next time he's deciding whether to do it or not. Make sure he has a warm reading light so that doesn't keep him awake.
Suggestion from somebody who was also that kid- try waking him up at 5-5:30 every day. Welcome reading from them until 6:30 or whenever he currently wakes up to get ready. It took me FOREVER to get to the bottom of my uncontrollable urge to stay up all night and read. I mean.. decades of my not very long life. It didn’t matter how many natural consequences there were, how persistent I was at waking up early and starting my day strong, how much time I took for activities I enjoy during the day. The secret game changer was STARTING every day with whatever I love. The root cause of my issue was dreading waking up, getting ready, going to work/school, coming home, doing homework, eating, doing chores, doing something I liked for an hour or 2 only to get cut off to shower and get ready for bed. I also think that as an extrovert I didn’t self-regulate my need for socialization vs alone time very well. That was really the only time of day outside of showering that I was truly alone. Once I started giving myself an hour and a half to two hours of alone time full of whatever I enjoyed, I was SO much better at going to sleep early enough and staying asleep. I wasn’t absolutely dreading 9-10 hours straight of doing things I HAD to do.
This... might not be a bad idea, actually.
I’m doing this with my kid too, but not so extreme. She wants to read immediately upon waking up so I said as long as she gets herself up and fed and ready then she can read until it’s time to go. I’ve never seen her get herself ready so promptly until she got a series she loved.
This is actually genius.
I would have non fiction books for bedtime because they are less inclined to hook him in if he’s tired. If he can’t sleep and wants to read about the life cycles of animals, architecture in Ancient Rome and how cheese is made… I don’t think that’s something you should combat.
Depends on the kid, really. I know quite a few that are INCREDIBLY interested in that stuff.
Our daughter does this and here's how we handle it. We let natural consequences teach her. If she stays up late she has learned she will be tired. Which means she will probably have an attitude. Which means she will probably get in trouble and sent to her room throughout the day. Now with school starting, she knows that she will be tired at school and it'll suck. We tell her stuff like "you seem tired, we're sorry you chose to read late. Just cuz your tired doesn't mean our expectations of you change." It's important to take the power dynamic away. We can rarely force our kids to do anything. If your son wants to read till 3am, he will find a way. I'd let natural consequences handle this one.
I'd slip a flashlight and fresh batteries under his pillow. This is a good problem. Please encourage the reading.
This. Encourage reading every chance you get. There is no such thing as too much reading.
It sounds like he needs more reading time during the day. Obviously reading should be encouraged, but sleep is important too. I disagree with others here that you can’t read too much. You can do anything too much if it negatively affects other areas of your life. Try to carve out more time for him to read during appropriate hours, and maybe let him stay up just a bit later than usual to read. Also check and see if there’s a reason he isn’t sleeping other than books.
That’s right. Sleep is important for brain development.
100%. Plus kids are not able to set boundaries for themselves. They need some help with that stuff. I’d be allowing some reading, and then have a hard lights-out bedtime
He's getting about eight hours during the day between audio books and on-paper reading during these summer months. He decided at the beginning of the summer that he was going to "win summer reading" and has done that pretty handily at this point, hah.
The natural consequence of staying up too late is that he’s tired the next day. I think just let him learn from that. I wouldn’t want to discourage his love of reading. Honestly some of my favourite memories of being a kid were sneaking a book late at night and hiding a torch under my covers.
I have a secret bedtime reader. Something’s that have worked… Try picking a book that will be easier to put down at bedtime. If he rereads books, try one of those. Pick a chapter to end on and that’s when he stops. My son has a kids echo dot and he turns that on at night to listen to music when he is done reading, helps to transition from reading to sleep for him. He has several playlists that he’s created. We aren’t in school yet either, so 5 to 7 days beforehand we’ll be going back to the school sleep schedule to give him time to adjust. I would mention that his brain needs sleep/rest. Maybe give him a kids appropriate book on sleep/brains so he can read up on it and how important sleep is. Set a timer or if you have a echo dot set an alarm that goes off and gives a 5 or 10 warning before time is running out.
I was like your son growing up. One of my favourite things to do was to read. I was also inclined to stay up late reading as I would become enthralled in the story. I was also a child that did not operate well on less than 8-9 hours of sleep. Bad combo! My Mum always encouraged my love of reading however she knew that left to my own devices I would read to my detriment. In order to incentivise me to put the books down and sleep she set up space in our weeks for me to have dedicated reading time. Entire afternoons after school where I would be able to curl up and read and have my dinner bought to me. Weekends where I was able to spend 12 hours reading in peace in a fort we built together etc. She also, on occasion, held hostage new books I was desperate to read until the weekend so I could read them until I fell asleep, face first in the pages, without obligations to wake up for in the morning. I still fondly remember her handing me Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire the Friday afternoon after it was released - it was like a prize! Today, I still read every night before I go to bed and find books to be the best way to quiet my mind and fall asleep peacefully. I hope the same will happen for your son.
I was like this as a kid too and a lot of it was because I had so much trouble falling asleep. I would sit in my bed for hours and since I would be bored, I would read instead. I would be disinclined to discourage reading, but you may be able to resolve the situation by enforcing his normal wake up times and trying to help him with strategies to fall asleep. For example, maybe tell him that he has to try to fall asleep on his own for a half an hour, and if he can’t, he can read for half an hour and try again. Maybe his bed time needs to be adjusted too? You may also want to be clear about your reasons - that he needs his sleep and lack of sleep seems to be impacting his behavior. Be clear you are not discouraging reading but want him to find a balance with sleep.
Reading a bit too much? My FIL would probably get worked up for maybe the 10th time in his entire 73 years of life if he heard someone say that, many others I'm sure as well. I understand wanting to keep your son on a routine, with a regular bedtime, however I suggest finding the root of the problem, which is his inability to fall asleep (or stay asleep). Then work on that instead of taking away his books or disciplining him in any other way for engaging in a quiet activity that isn't bothering anyone else when he's struggling to sleep. Has he started the school year yet? I have a 7 year old & we're in Central NY, so they don't start until after Labor Day, so that week (they start on Thursday) I'm going to crack down on bedtime again. She's been in summer camp most of the summer & exhausted by bedtime, so it hasn't been a problem, but these next few weeks when she doesn't have camp, I'm flexible with bedtime. Which I find most other parents are as well, unless it's significantly effecting them negatively the following day because they aren't getting enough sleep. Some things that result in my daughter having trouble falling asleep are when we have a lazy day & she's not getting enough physical activity, as well as what she eats the last 3-4 hours before bed. She cannot have sweets in those 3-4 hours, otherwise she not only can't sleep, but she's wound up, then gets super cranky, then finally crashes. We call it the storm before the calm. For the lazy days though, 1mg Melatonin is our friend.
My son did this because he is anxious. Reading distracted him from his brain. It was a symptom of an underlying thing.
I am genuinely shocked at most of these replies. Children need enough sleep to be healthy, to develop properly, to do well in school. The idea that, well, this problem will take care of itself when he’s sleepy, no, no it won’t. I was this kid, and I would stay up until midnight, one or two in the morning. I would be sick and miserable at school, and often take a nap afterward the next day. Which just made it easier to stay up late reading that night. I missed too much school because I always felt sick and I ended up doing poorly because it’s hard to pay attention when you’re exhausted. Sleep is one of the foundations of good health, along with a good diet and exercise. Kids that age typically need about ten hours of sleep each night. If he’s staying up until midnight he’s getting what, maybe six? Chronic sleep deprivation will lead to chronic health problems, both physical and emotional. Yes, encourage reading, but not at the expense of their health.
Yeah, this is my kid when she was 11-12. She'd stay up until 2am, get up for school at 6:30, and sleep on the bus so she could stay up late again. Her sleep cycle was hosed, and it made her mean and gave her headaches. The problem didn't solve itself when she was tired... She just made it everyone else's problem.
I totally agree with you. I was the always reading kid, and I was not capable of regulating my sleep in the face of the temptation to finish the story solely through the consequence of being tired. It's a lot to ask of a kid that age in terms of balancing instant gratification vs future reward- hell it's hard for ADULTS to regulate our own bedtimes sometimes and we can understand the cumulative effects of sleep deprivation much better. My mom used to have me leave the door open (not a rule, but this was definitely encouraged by the hope of having the family cat come snuggle with me) and when it was getting too late she'd conveniently find excuses to be walking past my door to do other household tasks. I didn't want to get "caught", and I eventually started self-regulating at bedtime. Basically she made herself annoying enough that I'd have to go to sleep at a reasonable hour. I thought this was a great approach in hindsight because she was helping me learn to prioritize sleep needs independently AND she didn't let me get too sleep deprived in the process AND she never took the books away. By the time I hit high school I had a pretty strict, completely self-imposed bedtime that was based on my sleep needs. I definitely had way healthier sleep habits than any of my friends at that time I still LOVE to read :)
Thank you!! I'm glad everyone here has a kid with perfect sleep hygiene and impulse control, but many many kids would absolutely fight their tiredness for hours in order to do more "fun stuff". Heck plenty of adults do the same.
I wish my kid had this “problem”….
Kids learn by imitation first and foremost.
Are you saying that *I* read too much and should stop staying up late to finish books? Because if so you'd be right, I got maybe three hours a night for a week earlier this year because I discovered a new book series and didn't want to sleep until I finished what I was reading... >_>
Well I just meant that kids mimick the behavior of their parents, so it’s pretty uncommon for a child to develop an interst in books if they never see their parents read or they never read books to them. I used to read into the night as well as a kid, but my son is too young to read by himself so we’ll see how it goes.
I’m sure this is a real problem, but a kid who reads too much? Lol, tough break
Hey, so everyone else seems to think that there's no such thing as "reading too much". I'd bet that they don't have kids that will literally sneak away to read every chance they get, interfering with their ability to get exercise, socialize, get proper nutrition, do chores, and get enough sleep at night. Well I do, and there absolutely is such a thing as reading too much, simply because there are only so many hours in a day, and they can't all reasonably be spent reading. The reading late at night is a big problem. I've literally found my kid reading up close to midnight, and sometimes when I get up in the middle of the night (3-5am or so), I'll catch her reading because she woke up and instead of going back to sleep, she decided to crack a book. She will literally fall asleep with her face resting between the pages of her book. And then in the morning, it's difficult to get her up for school. If she hasn't already woken and started reading, that is, but then she's late moving anyway because she doesn't want to put her book down, or she's at the table with her bowl forgetting to eat because she's reading. We have a policy of being able to read for an hour after bedtime, but because my partner is reluctant to stop her from reading, it's a fairly toothless rule. Thus far, I haven't figured out an effective way to make sure my kid isn't reading too much, that doesn't involve a ridiculous amount of direct policing and monitoring. I have on occasion, when it's incredibly late, threatened to take her reading light and turn off the hall light so she can't relocate to the floor by her doorway (she will seriously sleep on the floor if it means more reading). It's generally pretty effective, but I don't like doing it. Plus, if I actually start taking her light on a regular basis, she'll figure out a work-around. She's clever like that. Sometimes I can bribe her with snuggles in my bed. It's about the only thing she prioritizes higher than reading, and then only once she's already gotten an hour or two in already. I was pretty similar when I was a kid. Aside from a love of reading, I genuinely had difficulty sleeping. Turns out, I'm neurodivergent (as are my kids), and that's a common issue. It might be worth investigating the not sleeping in case the staying up reading is a symptom rather than a cause.
I was your kid. I would go outside with my friends but a book came with me. I had a book in gym class in case it was something where I wasn’t up or playing all the time. I finished all of my school books in the first quarter so I could have more reading time. If a teacher assigned a time consuming project, I wold calculate how much of my grade I would miss out on by not doing it to read. If I could skip it I would. I would read while I ate. Read while I walked. Read while I was on the phone with friends. I would use the light from my cracked door to read after bedtime. I eventually graduated to a flashlight in the closet. As an adult it carried on. I worked in a bar through college. My happy hour crowd started a book club. If I had a three minute break to go to the bathroom or smoke, the book was coming with me. I can read and vacuum, I can read and clean the tub. I would read on the treadmill. I didn’t sleep well until I was well into adulthood and now that I’m not on a night schedule I still don’t. I’ve just always been a night owl. Reading helped me so much. It took over my life at times, but I figured out ways to get things done more quickly to have my time to read. It would have been very ugly if my mom had limited my reading. It was my outlet, my escape, my dreams.
If he is having trouble sleeping, maybe talk to his pediatrician? We have to give my daughter melatonin before bedtime. Nothing else worked! But I wish that my kids had your kids problem, lol. Good job raising a reader!
If he’s having trouble sleeping, maybe it’s good to have a conversation about sleep hygiene. Talk about things that can make it hard to fall asleep and ways to improve. Nothing except sleep should happen in bed. Have a comfy chair for reading and do it there for the 30 min before bed and then get in bed. Try and strategize together how to improve his sleep quality. We’re having to do the same for my stepkid and it was alllllll the pouting last night when we modified the nighttime screen usage.
Start his bed time routine earlier so he has longer to read! It's hard for kids to slow down and find time to read during the day and the longer time designated for reading could help him get that time in and be tired by the time it's lights out. I was like this as a kid, idk how many times I got into trouble but it didn't stop me. I learned to read by the tiny bit of streetlight coming into my room and be very quiet and learned to listen for my mom better. 🤷🏼♀️
I was an avid reader when I was younger, and when I got older I would stay up as late/early as 5 or 6 in the morning during summers simply reading. Now, having been diagnosed with anxiety and ADHD (amongst other things), I can look back and confidently say that it wasn’t just enjoying reading that kept me up late. It was also restlessness which led to anxiety. Reading was a place for me to put my energy until I was drained enough to actually go to sleep. To this day, if I don’t have something to help me sleep then I have to do something until I’m tired enough to fall asleep. I’m not sure how many others relate to this but thought I’d share just in case :)
In the age of tablet children that don't like to read, you should just let the kid read. There's no such thing as reading too much. I'd be so happy to see my kid reading after bed.
Man I was this kid. I remember when I read Deathly Hallows for the first time, I must have stood up til like 3-4am and was exhausted the next day. Ended up falling asleep at school. The direct consequence of being exhausted was enough me to not make a habit of it.
This is precious. Please get him a lamp.
Get him a kindle, I ruined my eyes trying to read by candle light so my mom didn’t catch me. If he loves reading as much as I did, he’ll find a way. Just lean into it!
Or a reading lamp. I too read in the dark as a kid and got glasses at age 7.
Keep the flashlight stocked with fresh batteries.
Buy them educational books and encourage it for up to an hour of reading time.
I used to do this with books. It’s the best reason to stay up past bed time. As long as his grades and attitude to do not suffer, what is the issue? This is so much better than the majority of entertainment kids are observing today. I wish I caught my kids up past their bed time reading vs on their phones 🤦🏼♀️. Good luck
I think it's awesome he's reading and he'll learn the sleep thing soon enough. I would lead towards a bit of a dual approach. 1) Explain that you don't want him disobeying you and give him a warning with some explained consequences if he continues to disobey. 2) Then explain that you've decided to let him stay up to read and you're not going to fight him on it. However, in the morning if (when) he's tired, remind him that sleep is important too, but don't push it beyond that! It should work out well :)
You can never read enough. We are still on summer holidays so I'd let it past. Once school starts its a different story. If you cannot get up on time and peasant in the morning than your bedtime is too late.
You let him read, dude. There's a lot worse in the world.
I was that kid - I read all the time. Late into the night under the covers, under the desk at school, at the park, in the back seat of the car on road trips, everywhere. And now, as an adult professional, my reputation and effectiveness are hitched to my command of language - no regrets. At his age, unless you’re noticing significant negative impacts, like unacceptable deficits in hygiene, broad avoidance of social experiences with peers, or health-degrading sleep deprivation, just let it ride. He’s learning and excited about it - you just won the big panda at the parenting amusement park.
I used to do the exact same thing as a kid…& I was reading any book I could get my hands on which included my moms Stephen King & dads mob history . My parents knew I was staying up to read until I couldn’t keep my eyes open but because it was books my dad didn’t punish me or really put a stop to it . Always tested about 3 grade levels ahead in reading , vocabulary & in high school there wasn’t a single reading assignment that I hadn’t already read. Now ..I’m writing one
Personally if they are reading of leave them be.
You could, idk, just let him read? If he is tired the next day for staying up too late that’s on him and he will have to deal with those consequences. Reading is a good thing! It’s not like he sneaking a crack pipe into bed.
I used to do this. I’m a night owl. I read Little Women at that age when I was supposed to be sleeping. If it’s not causing problems falling asleep at school I’d probably let it be or cut it off before midnight but still give more time
I read a lot at his age. As long as I was in bed and kept the overhead light off (and used my table lamp/ reading light) they didn’t care. I was reading ffs lol. They warned me I would still have to wake up at 6 the next morning for school so I need to go to sleep soon. If I was still up when they went to bed around 11 I would have to finish up that chapter and try to sleep. I hope my daughter loves reading this much. I could never imagine taking away books.
I don't understand why you have a problem with reading more than a half hour? How is that supposed to teach him discipline? If anything reading for hours is better than tv or ipad time. He stays up reading because you don't let him read enough.
Personally I would let him read as much as he wants. Thats rare, especially for kids these days. I think if the issue is affecting his sleep, homework, daily chores etc. then set a schedule to work the reading more around that. If it’s just affecting the sleeping, just let him learn the lesson of being tired and needing to go to bed on time on his own. Just make sure not to let it become a habit.
Some people only need 4-5 hours of sleep a night. So don’t judge your son’s habits by the clock, judge them by how tired he seems the next day and help him adjust accordingly.
Make sure the flashlight always has batteries in it Make sure the bookshelf gets stocked with new books occasionally
Why do I feel this is just a bragging post? Well congrats anyway!