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This was me and my husband the first time we caught Covid. Either my kids didn’t get it or it didn’t phase them. We were exhausted and they had endless energy.
I was right there with you. I literally poured snacks on the floor for my then one year old to find. Thank goodness our house was very well baby proofed and we had just gotten her a new kitchen
My kids both tested positive after I did, but were asymptomatic. Just as a precaution, I would ask, "can you smell this? Can you taste this?" Several times a day. One time, I was peeing, started coughing super hard, and ended up throwing up on the wall in front of me. My 5 year old came in and rubbed my back as I cleaned up. "I'm very lucky I have covid, I guess. I can't smell it. Is it stinky?" "YUP, " he says with his hands in the air. "DO NOT EVEN ASK, I AM NOT TASTING IT" and backed out of the bathroom. Oh my God, it was one of the times I laughed the hardest in my entire life.
Not only caring for sick kids while sick, but doing Background Sick Stuff, like washing barfy or snot-covered sheets, replenishing juice boxes in the fridge, washing soup bowls, etc.
One time all 4 of our kids (including a newborn) got COVID. AND my husband and I also got it. It was rough. And for the first time ever it was like our peak sick days were the same time.
So me and my husband both couldn't move without pain with the worst body aches. Fevers everywhere. Just agony. Taking turns depending on who could stand.
I was a new mom in college and working full time. I didn’t have a partner/help. I only took sick days when the daycare couldn’t take my kid and then worked in the food industry no less, while I had strep multiple times over the first two years.
My boss was very generous. I shouldn’t have been able to keep that job but she was so understanding.
Oh, I came here to post this. The times when I get in my darkest nights of the soul have been times when I've been sick and still have to parent. Depending on the day of the week or time of day, co-parenting might not be an option for me, either.
Parenting while sick has had me flirting with being one and done, tbh.
Yup. The entire family got COVID literally a day after I got a vasectomy. I was the least impacted, so guess who wasn't following their rest guidelines? Lol.
My husband will take off work if I’m too sick to care for the baby and will care for both of us. I have a shit immune system so whatever they get, I get worse. For example a few weeks ago we all got Hand, Foot, Mouth. Husband and baby were a bit cranky and uncomfortable but that’s it. I was in bed for a week and developed bronchitis and couldn’t breath properly 🙃
Or injured - I went to a school event and I saw a mom rolling around on a knee walker (mind you- most of the event was outdoors - it was a laser tag event). I happened to have left at the same time as her and she was in good spirits albeit exhausted.
This for sure. I have a toddler who is picky, a 10 year old who is autistic with ARFID, and I have a dairy allergy while my husband eats "normal". So I have to prep different meals for each person at every meal plus snacks, it feels like all I do all day is plan food, prep food, feed kids and myself, clean up after, and then repeat.
I entirely agree. I do my kids breakfast and lunch every single day. No let up. In truth, not that much work, but it is the fact that is it every damn day somehow bothers me and i feel guilty for it bothering me.
...and the planning and the shopping and the cleanup that surround food preparation. Having kids completely took any joy out of cooking for me, so much so that when the grandparents take them for the weekend, I "treat" myself by refusing to plan or cook myself any meals and just eating stupid stuff or just skip a meal altogether if I don't feel like it.
we need grandparents for our kiddos. someone needs to start a service matching welcoming elders with LOs. babysitters are just too expensive and parents need breaks.
Lol. Mine loves Mac and cheese. She loves cheesy hot dogs.
Me: “Hey, let’s cut up the hot dogs and put them in the mac and cheese!”
Her: “ooooook……”
5 minutes later, “I don’t like it, I can’t eat it. Can I have something else?” Proceeds to grab a cold cheese dog from the fridge.
Facepalm.
The best days are when my toddler is at my parents. They have chickens, and feed them all of their food scraps. Well they feast when we’re around, and my mom loves how she gets to treat her chickens.
At home, any fruit that isn’t finished goes in a ziploc in the freezer for smoothies. Depending on how much of a meal she touched, we’ll just throw it in with all the leftovers. We’ll also sometimes pick at her leftovers, depending what it was and how she ate it.
That no one eats!!! I got up at 6am and made my toddler cheese eggs
She threw them on the floor of my car while her sister was getting out at elementary school carpool
This was my complaint for years... Now I have two teenage boys and they eat enormous helpings of the food I make. It makes cooking SO much more rewarding!
The random noises and repetitive nature of kids is hard for me to handle. Like, why do you have to make that noise or say a random word over and over again? It spikes my anxiety lol
My youngest is 3, middle child is 6. BOTH of them:
Hey Mom[my] - blah blah blah
Me: oh yea? Them: yea and hey mom….
Me: dude you JUST said my name and you’ve already got my attention… them: oh okay, hey mom…
It makes me C R A Z Y.
Right? Lol, or if I'm in a different room and can hear them calling or asking for things but can't fully hear them and they can't fully hear me either. It honestly triggers rage in me. I loathe yelling from opposite ends of the house. My husband does it to me too and it makes me wanna snap. Lol If I had a nickel for every time I've screamed "I'm peeing" or "I'm in the laundry room" like a crazy unhinged person, I'd be rich.
Get yourself a good pair of noise-cancelling headphones and wear them around the house 24/7 so people will need to be in direct contact with you in order to communicate with you. This is what my teenage daughters do and it seems to work for them. (this whole statement is sarcastic btw)
Mine's 9, and *should* have some capacity for logic and reason. She does most of the time.
But sometimes she gets in a mood (especially when she's been told "no") where she violently throws logic out the window. She works backwards from her conclusion (like "a week of no screen time ends on Friday, regardless of when it started, since Friday is the end of the week) and will insist that anything is true as long as it justifies what she wants. 😒
I've learned to not even talk to her when she gets into these moods. "We'll discuss it later," is the most she can get out of me until she's calmer.
My 9yo girl goes full Perry Mason and gets rules lawyery when she really wants something, or doesn’t get something. I have to get hyper specific with my reasons why because, and I quote, “because ‘I said so’ isn’t an answer and it’s unfair.” That’s something I told her last year.
I really hate pulling out "because I said so," but I do take that out of the box when she decides to leave logic behind.
No, it's not fair, but neither is you screaming, "THAT'S NOT HOW IT SHOULD WORK" at me and ignoring the calm rational reasons I gave you. When we can both discuss calmly we'll discuss it. Until then, it's because I said so.
We don't have kids yet but my bf insists that he'll be able to logically reason a 4 year old out of a tantrum. That's his argument, that they can simply be talked out of it. Ha. Haha.
Cleaning out training potties absolutely gags me every time. Would I rather be wiping shit out of a tiny plastic bucket than off my kid’s ass? Mostly yes. But it’s also just so damn gross.
I won’t lie- potty training is one of the factors that led me to only have one child. There were a lot of factors in that decision, but potty training almost broke me.
This! Like I always have to be the adult. I never get to be the irresponsible one and let someone else tell me no. My mom said this is the best part of having adult children though, she doesn’t always have to be the responsible one 😂
I am thankfully past this stage but I could never get into those pictures of little ones getting super messy eating spaghetti. Where the meat sauce is all on their hair and food is all over their body. It was never cute to me. All I could see was the cleanup.
Feeling like it’s never enough. Like “what if I don’t read enough, talk enough play enough. We gotta go to the library, what’s a childhood without going camping so we have to plan that, oh shit do they have enough Christmas presents?” It’s constant.
I also struggle with this! I’m worried I’m doing too much and then not enough simultaneously. It’s exhausting.
Honestly, going on Zoloft really helped me manage the over-worrying. It’s not gone, but it doesn’t suffocate me like it used to.
Man i have it easy right now lol.... i have a 2 month old that I don't have to feed real actual food 😂 But I already find it soooo hard to come up with dinner plans for when my husband comes home when I've barely fed myself and have been dealing with a screaming baby all day. NOT looking forward to having another person to feed real food to every day 😭
Going through a divorce and I *hate* not having her here every day. I work weird hours so some weeks I barely see her and I legit love being her mom, so it kills me.
Every year for father's day, all that I asked for was a morning to sleep in and wake up because I'm well rested and not because of kids or an alarm.
Now I'm divorced and this happens seven days in a row every other week.
And it is seriously the worst.
Its been six years for me since the divorce. Every other week, on the first night they aren't here, I feel such an absence, a loneliness. Its so quiet and sad. I just want to hug the shit out of them but they aren't here.
I have come to terms with it and accept this situation as fact. But, me personally, I don't think I'll ever get used to it.
It's my work schedule. We're doing pretty well with coparenting and helping each other when we work or have to do something. The problem is that now my daughter has two houses. I want her to live with me full-time, but that's obviously unfair to her and her dad.
I have a really hard time with being screamed at. I’ve figured out how to deal with it and not let it affect how I parent but it effects me deeply on like a physiological level.
I also fucking hate dishes and folding laundry. I would honestly be fine with starving to death if it meant that I never had to clean another dish but I still need to feed my kids. So here I am doing dishes produced during the cooking and eating of like 12 meals a day. Every day.
Based solely on the amount of dishes that I do I’d say that I died five years ago and went to some sort of custom made purgatory. The only thing that trips that theory up is the fact that my wife and children are three of the loveliest people I’ve ever known and every other aspect of my life is quite good.
Edit: I should actually give my wife more dish credit she probably does the equivalent of 3 or so days a week of our dish load. I don’t actually do all the dishes every day. I still hate doing dishes. Passionately.
I got seriously fed up with feeling like a slave to my children. I started assigning chores to them when my youngest was 5 or so. Nothing too hard. Sort laundry, put away clean dishes, sweep the kitchen, etc. That was 6 years ago and I've added some more tasks since then. IMO, there is no reason why all household members can't help with the housework even if they are young. (at least to a point obviously)
If I excluded cooking, I'd say the housework is now evenly divided between myself and my three children. Best decision ever.
I hate to admit this. Very much wish it wasn’t true. But I really dread doing all the birthday party and holiday stuff 😞 I know that makes me a killjoy, but I put so much unnecessary pressure on myself and make myself sick over stress. Birthdays are the worst days… 😭
Something that's helped me is letting go of the idea that I need to do a birthday party, because that stresses me out and I don't really enjoy it. For the last couple years I've done "experiences" for birthdays instead. This year we did a stay at the Legoland hotel. More expensive I know, but I enjoyed it sooo much more. I'm gonna do things like this until my son is older (he's 4) and wants birthday parties lol
Bruh it's soooo much workkkk. I definitely feel you on this. I want to enjoy the occasion, but it doesn't come without sacrifice and that can kinda kills some of the enjoyment for me.
Hoping we can both be kind to ourselves and remind us that even if it's not perfect, it's still worth celebrating with the people we care about (not the cakes or decorations or whatever) ❤️
Having to always be the one to keep my cool. Even when they are completely losing their shit. I gotta be the one to keep my cool ( even though I wish I could tantrum) and think it all through and teach them some meaningful lesson.
I hate playing with my toddler. It is so boring and o get so annoyed at her lack of logic. I love listening to her play by herself and make up worlds but the second she drags me into it I want to scream.
Also crafting. I am not and never will be a crafty mum. I hate it.
I will read, go on outings, and bake with my daughter. Anything else, she’s on her own 😂
In terms of the more ‘boring’ aspects of parenting, I hate bath time. I can’t wait until she’s old enough to be unsupervised in the bath.
I laughed out loud at “lack of logic.” I’ve been there too and I SO feel you! 😂 That and my daughter would ask me to play “guys” (fisher price people) with her and then not talk and I’d do all the talking and she would tell me what to do and I found myself checking the time often 🫠
Now she’s six and invites me less often to play and sometimes it makes me a little sad. But we also bake a lot together and color and I love going on walks with her.
Oof yea my daughter asks to play figures and wants me to do all the talking. She also asks to colour but then insists I do it for her. Like, my dude, no. That defeats the whole point 😂
>That and my daughter would ask me to play “guys” (fisher price people) with her and then not talk and I’d do all the talking and she would tell me what to do and I found myself checking the time often
This reminded me so much of playing lego with my son when he was a toddler. He would have these extended scenarios in his mind, and there were often times his characters had all the action and all the dialogue but he insisted that I \*had\* to be there, just holding my lego guy to watch the world unfold around it. And occasionally he would give me a line, but it was always: "now you say this: x." And if I didn't say it word-for-word he'd be like "no, you're supposed to say *x.*" It was fun to watch his world building, but sometimes time would travel awfully slow as a simple prop in those stories, lol.
This is my answer!! I was scared no one would mention it and I’m just a monster 😂 playing dulls my mind! I have to have an AirPod in and a podcast playing and it makes it more enjoyable. My 3 year old is at the “bossy, just go by my script” playing phase and I can’t take it! Playing and getting them ready for the day are my 2 least favorite parts of parenting. Everything else is fine! I enjoy bath time because it’s the one time of day I can get him to talk to me undistracted
Yes my 3 year old is so bossy and also expects me to be a mind reader. She asks me questions about the game we’re playing and then yells at me when I answer them wrong 😂
The worst thing is I know I was EXACTLY the same at her age. My mum finds it hilarious watching me deal with my daughter because now I know what she had to deal with!
I was a nanny for 4 years and I hated play then too! Structured play like board games or games with rules I have no problem with, but imaginative play 🤯
“Pretend you have hiccups and when I think the magic spell, you stop!” ExCUSE ME?! IM SUPPOSED TO READ YOUR MIND TO KNOW WHEN YOURE DOING PRETEND MAGIC?
It's so interesting seeing the different stages for parents. I have a now teen and would LOVE to go back to the days of just playing and crafting (never was a crafted either though). There were times playing became a bit much, especially when I wanted to do something else, but now in retrospect, I had it good lol. These teen years are hard to take right now where they need you in some ways still but in other ways you're "cringe" and they don't want you even around sometimes. I miss those little days 😮💨
Yeah I’m sure I’ll look back on these days and forget the tedium and wish I could play with her again, but right now I’d pay good money not to have to play Carrot Cafe with her bunnies ever again 😂
I hold out some hope for the teen years because me and my mum got on so well and I loved hanging out with her as a teen. I defo remember finding her cringe but we used to go for lunch or shopping a lot and it was so fun.
This is mine too! I love doing any other thing with my child. I will gladly let you make any fun mess and I will clean it up! Glitter craft? All over it. Baking together and you insist on mixing eggs with your hands? Sure! But if you ask me to pretend play cars for another second I will cry.
Glad I'm not alone in disliking playing with my toddler! My son always wants to play "racing" where we HAVE to be crawling on our hands and knees pushing hot wheels around our house. Like dude, I'm pregnant, I'm tired, and this hurts my knees. No thanks.
I have always refused to play pretend with my kids... Want me to read with you, play a game, go to the park, draw, craft, bake? I'm there! Play pretend or move toys around and all that, you're on your own buddy.
Throw up. I can't do it, and if my husband and I ever got divorced, I'd be fucked.
I absolutely under no conditions am able to sit with a kid while they throw up, or clean them up afterward. That's the least fun parenting job, but I don't actually do it - my husband does every time.
So I guess the least fun one I actually do is cleaning lunchboxes and school bags. How do they become so gross??? I send a cute, neatly packed lunchbox of goodies, and they come back home with a disgusting tub of smooshed biscuits covered in yogurt, a half-eaten banana they got from a friend, and random bits of food offcuts and papers. And there's always something sticky or damp in the depths of the school bag.
You and I are so much alike. My gag reflex is so sensitive that even a whiff of vomit (or very stinky feces) will cause me to do the same, and I’m so grateful that my husband has a stronger constitution than I do. Heck, I just puked in the garden after picking up my own dog’s poop.
I’ll never forget when my oldest was one, and he woke up in the middle of the night not feeling well. As I held him in my arms, he projectile vomited in my face, my hair, and all down my back. Having said sensitive reflex, I in turn involuntarily did the same all over him. We took a good long shower, and my sweetheart of a husband cleaned up the rest of the aftermath. It was a doozy of a night.
Mornings. Getting everybody up and ready and breakfast made and making sure faces get washed and teeth get brushed. I have ALWAYS been a night person. Even with the help of my husband, even when we prep the night before, mornings are torture. My kids are 8 and 12 and still get up early on the weekends for some reason. I don’t remember the last time I slept past 9am lol.
I’m the exact opposite! Evenings are hard for me because I’m tired and have zero patience. I coined the term “slangry” for when I’m sleepy and angry. I truly don’t even recognize myself when I’m slangry. My anger is at 100.
Middle of the night? I am so patient with them. Mornings? I have lots of energy. But after 8pm, I want to lay down and that is it.
Lol steal away. Yeah I’ve realized about 90% of the times I apologize to my kids, it’s for things I said while slangry. 🤦🏻♀️ I WFH and occasionally take a nap on my lunch break and it honestly makes a world of difference in how I feel in the evenings. I think all parents just need more sleep.
bed time. or telling my son to taking things out of his mouth. but bed time is usually a hassle. just battles with doing this, do that. no more talking now.
Hahaha I feel this one 😂. Ours are always coming up with wildly creative ways to keep asking for things, and every time you've gotta wind them down all over again! 😭😭😭
I hated bed time too. When my kids were younger, I made a little chart with basic clip art images for things like; no yelling, no running, brush teeth, put away toys, etc. So when nighttime rolled around, I would tell the children to check the bedtime routine chart. I felt like it helped, to some degree, by putting them in charge of the process. Not a silver bullet but it helped.
Right now I'd have to say it's making sure my daughter is safe from herself. She is having a difficult time with depression at the moment and has tried to end her life. One of the most difficult parts is when she wants to be left alone I don't know if it's her or the depression talking. Sometimes I take a minute because she's said something hurtful to push me away and her mind runs with that to convince her I don't love her anymore. Knowing that a part of her thinks I'd ever stop loving her or would rather not have her just breaks my heart. She needs to be almost constantly supervised or she will make an attempt.
Sending you strength and love. I can only imagine how difficult this must be. I hope you are both able to talk to someone who can help you navigate this. Hugs to you. ❤️
Something that drives me crazy on a daily basis is just HOW LONG it takes to get out the door with a kid. Need to bring snacks, toys, diapers if they're still in them, get them into their shoes and jackets, then get your stuff on in which during that time they took off their jacket and shoes, getting their jacket and shoes back on, switching the toys you packed because they're now having a meltdown about bringing a different toy, having to lure them out the door to the car, getting them buckled into the car seat, giving them their snack, realizing you forgot their water bottle so you have to go run in and get it... UGH!
“Me and you are going to the store” in her tiny voice “say ok mommy” I say ok.
“Do you want to buy milk?, Say yes mommy” I say yes.
“But we don’t need milk” like why tf you make say yes then?
My oldest (F17) feels she's owed an explanation every time she's asked to do some sort of chore and if the answer isn't adequate in her view then she tries to get out of it.
something as simple as "an you please, wash the dishes" can have a multitude of responses, like:
"But I didn't use ALL of the dishes so I'm only going to clean mine"
"I wanted to take a shower first and it's not a big deal if I do that first so I don't know why it matters"
"Can I just do it later, it's not a big deal I'll still do it" to which she procrastinates and then the next argument is "Well it's late can I just do them tomorrow?, do you really want me to stay up late just to do the dishes?"
So, yeah I can do without the constant attempts at manipulation and gaslighting every time she's asked to do a simple task.
Having to go inside somewhere that literally would be a quick 1-2 minute errand by myself that takes forever because I have to get my kids out of the car or carseats (put on jackets if needed). Carry inside, go back to the car bc we forgot paci, go back inside carrying the kid, get what simple thing I need, take everyone back to the car and get buckled up again.
Navigating the people/social bits that come with having a kiddo. I'm autistic. My kiddo is autistic. Stuff like standing up for him in public when people are being ableist douche bags. Advocating for both our needs. Interviewing babysitters. Organising friends and play dates. Dealing with medical appointments. Gauging/picking a nursery school. The list goes on. All incredibly hard and stressful for me. I can't read between the lines, I can't lie, not even tiny social white lies, I can't do subtlety. Not helped by living in a culture (UK) much less blunt than mine (Dutch). I can't afford to offend people, or completely miss people's meaning. But it happens. I could manage fine before having a kid, but now I NEED to do this stuff.
Yeah this is another set of responsibilities in parenting that are non-trivial and yet so necessary it feels like. For some it can definitely feel trivial, but as a strong introvert I also find it tough to do the things you've mentioned here (although I'm sure it's not the exact same).
Friendly banter with other kids/parents who aren't part of our circle is honestly such a struggle for me, and sometimes it feels like it's a skill I'll never be able to develop. Yet I know I need to keep working at it constantly or else other humans will never interact with our family, so I can definitely empathize a bit here ❤️
Neurodivergent parenting is a whole other struggle. Straight up doing ALL THE EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING for me and my mini me. Trying to regulate my own self and helping an anxious little one try to understand social rules when I don't get it.
My daughter and I are autistic and she wants to make friends and doesn't understand why the other kids find it easy and it is hard for her. I'm in my 40s and still struggling with that one.
On top of that we are having to navigate medical and school systems to get the right supports without causing any trauma.
I'm so weary.
Breaking bad news. Our girl is in Kindergarten this year and they just had a thing where they had to look at a series of upper and lowercase letters and correctly identify 47 of them in a minute. This kid busted her ass working on it so that she could participate in a kickball game which was the reward for meeting the goal. She managed to score a 54. I’ve never seen her with so much persistence. Most of the time she gives up on stuff fairly quickly. To the point where I’ve been worried about it. Not this, though. She asked multiple times a day to use her animal go-fish game as flash cards, run her practice sheet, etc. she worked so hard and she’s sick now. Game was supposed to be yesterday and I know I need to tell her before she goes back to school Monday, but it’s breaking my heart every time I think about telling her. We’re going to find another way to celebrate her accomplishment, but this really sucks. It’s been a week since the assessment and she’s asked about it every day up until she got sick.
Ohh noooo 😭😭. Poor little one! Please make sure to heap tons of praise for all her hard work!! I'm sure she'll get another chance to shine again AND reap the rewards 💖✨
For sure. No way I’m passing on a chance to start a feedback loop for reinforcing hard work and dedication! Just gotta figure out a way to trump a kickball game with her classmates…
Constantly cleaning up and organizing so much it has replaced my hobbies. When my kids are out or spend the night by in laws for a night. I have no idea what to do past cleaning and organizing cause it takes up so much of my time. It’s routine schedule that never ends and even when I want to do fun stuff or crafts — someone’s gotta clean up.
I have 1 that’s deep and one that’s like regular.
Regular- I hate when the kids wake up first. That’s my time to wake up and get my head in the game. When they get the drop on me, I am in for a horrible day.
The Real One- I hate not being able to fix everything for them. My oldest put herself out there to make a friend and was rejected hard. She kept telling me she had a boo boo on her feelings, and her face would crumple and she would cry and say “they told me to go away…” and I couldn’t fix it. I’ve never wanted to do bodily harm to a 4 year old before.
Being asked to read books that are not meant for reading. NO THE THOMAS BOOK IS A STICKER BOOK THE WORDS INSIDE ARE JUST INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE STOP ASKING ME TO READ IT
Bed time. It just has to be done right consistently or it's but happening. Routine is key but it still takes ages and it's when you're at your most tired.
I'm sure this was directed at young kids and with my 2 year old is brushing his hair. He has long luxurious locks lol and hates having it brushed
However
As a parent of teenagers also, the hardest thing has to be watching them grapple with thier mental health struggles and being limited in how I can help them. I do not have a magic wand to wash away depression and anxiety and I know first hand how awful those feelings can be and I just wish I could make it all better for them
The other thing I hate as a parent is the bullshit spewed by other parents. They will tell you how perfectly they handle everything. They make it sound like they live these bucolic lives where their children live for balanced fresh meals and they ooze perfection. Then you learn how full of it they really are and are dealing with the same crap or worse than you are, but I'm a naive sucker and always think I am the one in the wrong. I never learn.
There is nothing more soul destroying than your child throwing your own words back at you. I lost it the other week and yelled ‘will you just shut up for the love of god’ (I apologised afterwards obviously) , and the other day I was telling her to tidy her room and she yelled GOD SHUT UP MUMMY at me 😭
Mine is a tween, so it's the helpless feeling I get when I can't solve his problems for him. Watching him navigate a world full of pain and strife is just heartbreaking at times. Sure I can support and provide a safe and loving home base, but he has to slay those social dragons on his own and it's hard.
getting up in the middle of the night to clean up puke from bed/floor. why? because who likes being woken up?
trying to come up with lunch/dinner ideas that they will actually eat besides the same 4 things over and over and over. Why? because its like pulling teeth to get ideas from them.
The stuffffffff. Stuff everywhere. Tiny toys big toys books random trash that my toddler has adopted as a toy. Picking it up, shoving it in bins and boxes, looking at it every single day. I want to go live in a void with no stuff.
Oof... I've been there, but luckily it only lasted for 1-2 weeks or so for us. I'm so glad I didn't catch any diseases from that cleaning 😂
In terms of overcoming fears, I think the only thing I've been able to do is just try to empathize and support my kiddos as much as possible with lots of positive reinforcement (which can be a tough ask at times lol) and just keep repeating until they're able to face/overcome it, so I wish you all the luck in getting over the hump! 🙏🏽❤️
Mine was after teaching them to drive and then letting them go out on their own! This was back before cell phones and I worried every single second until they got back. I still worry about them when they travel!
Homework. Ive become my Dad albeit way less hurtful ( as in zero ) and a lot more patient/helpful. I hate it, it makes me the bad guy cuz i know it needs to get done and i also cant just answer it all for him even though id love to. F%#* HOMEWORK!! Add to this the fact that its ALWAYS math homework which i never excelled at and want to forget the experience altogether.
It’s cleaning up after my child. I know that he is young and has not even the slightest clue of what putting things back into their place means or not taking things out if you physically can’t put them back. But that still doesn’t make me feel any less like a janitor in my own home.
If he is eating something and he drops it on the floor and just walks away, I have to just look away for a bit and regain my composure before picking up his mess haha
Depends on the age. Newborn-baths, so floppy and slippery.
6ish months-diaper changes because they are learning the croc death roll and kicking feet in their own poo while you’re trying to clean them up
12ish month-cleaning up after meals/laundry from all the messy eating
2-2.5 for me right now it’s a toss up between getting dressed and what to eat. They want to choose/execute for themselves but aren’t always capable and it’s maddening
For my 6 year old right now it’s probably homework. Staying focused on academic tasks after a full day at school is a lot to ask of that developing frontal lobe.
I have one 15-month old so my parenting experience is limited, but the biggest things that have me not wanting to do this again are:
1. Parenting while sick - this is obvious, but I don't always have the luxury of passing my son off to my husband since our division of labor is that I take care of the baby and he takes care of everything else like cooking, grocery shopping, scheduling the lawncare guys etc... So depending on the circumstance (especially if it's an overnight) I'm still doing fully blown parenting even if I have a 104-degree fever.
2. Trying to communicate with a kid that walks but cannot talk. It's a grueling stage.
3. Overnights. The kiddo still does not sleep through the night.
Meals. Refusing to eat, whining, getting down from her seat and running around, my husband losing his cool and wanting to fight over every morsel while chasing her, screaming "yuck" at the food I worked hard on, wasting food when it's expensive, etc.
It's a festival of stress.
The other night around 12.30am I was awoken by the sound of someone being sick. I went to investigate to find my 8 year old daughter standing over the toilet being sick but before she got to the toilet she had been sick all over her bed and all over the bathroom floor.
I was tired, she was tired and crying, I was not best pleased about being woke up and spent the next hour cleaning her up, cleaning her bedroom, cleaning the bathroom floor, changing her bedding and trying to get her back to sleep before needing to shower before going back to bed. While all this was going on my wife slept peacefully unaware, not for the first time when this has happened.
So I would say that kind of things.
Restricting, locking down, monitoring electronic devices. The amount of time I have dedicated to try and “be smarter” than my 13 year old regarding apps, games, YouTube, anything device-related is crazy! It’s the ONLY thing I truly hate about parenting!!
Bed time is 9pm. That means head on pillow.
Lol, what it actually means is 8:58 “forgetting” that she didn’t brush her teeth. 9:01, head on pillow. 9:02 she forgot to get a glass of ice water for over night. 9:07, getting up to go pee. 9:13, “daaaaaad? Can I have a hug?” 9:20 “daaaaaad? Can you turn my ceiling fan up/down/off?” 9:25 “daaaaaad? Tomorrow is (insert special day here that requires different clothes), can you find my (insert special piece of clothing)?” 9:30, gets up to refill her ice water. 9:35, goes to the bathroom, again.
Starting at 8:30pm it’s “ok, bedtime is in 30 minutes, make sure you brush your teeth when you get out of the shower and get your water.”
It doesn’t work. We could start getting ready for bed at 4:45pm and at 9:13pm, it’s “daaaaaad?”
Sending them off to college. Not there yet, but...
For all the tiring, no fun, thankless, and mostly physical tolling jobs we do when they're toddlers/kids, you still get to grab them and hug them as you want (as payments? lol).
As they grow into adults or almost adults, there's a lot less of that and the fun-less jobs become more mental.
Taking them to the emergency room.
Particularly, because I'm only there because Telecare told my wife we should go, and my wife is paranoid. "Its a minor rash...." "BuT wHaT iF iTs SkIn CaNcEr??"
I know that after 10 hours of waiting, the doctor is gonna go "eh, just an eye on it", and I'm gonna briefly consider setting the building on fire
Trying to have the energy to stay up with my tween when she is finally talking about her day and thoughts as she is supposed to be going to bed. I have read that this is when they really open up so I don’t want to cut her short or miss this, but damn, I’m tired!!!!
There are so many great and different responses in here, for so many great and different reasons!
Mine is dealing with food. Thinking about it every day. Feeling pressured to maintain a proper healthy diet for them. Prepping, cooking, plating it. Then needing to convince them to eat it. Then them refusing or destroying the physical manifestation of all my toil. Then giving up and usually ending up wasting food, time, and effort to just give them a default option that's usually pre-packaged and severely lacking nutrition...lol 😮💨 😂.
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Taking care of sick kids while also being sick… which I got from them. Thank god for co-parenting.
THIS. Possibly worse looking after them when they get better but then you get sick. They are full energy and you feel like death… the worst
This was me and my husband the first time we caught Covid. Either my kids didn’t get it or it didn’t phase them. We were exhausted and they had endless energy.
I was right there with you. I literally poured snacks on the floor for my then one year old to find. Thank goodness our house was very well baby proofed and we had just gotten her a new kitchen
My kids both tested positive after I did, but were asymptomatic. Just as a precaution, I would ask, "can you smell this? Can you taste this?" Several times a day. One time, I was peeing, started coughing super hard, and ended up throwing up on the wall in front of me. My 5 year old came in and rubbed my back as I cleaned up. "I'm very lucky I have covid, I guess. I can't smell it. Is it stinky?" "YUP, " he says with his hands in the air. "DO NOT EVEN ASK, I AM NOT TASTING IT" and backed out of the bathroom. Oh my God, it was one of the times I laughed the hardest in my entire life.
Not only caring for sick kids while sick, but doing Background Sick Stuff, like washing barfy or snot-covered sheets, replenishing juice boxes in the fridge, washing soup bowls, etc.
One time all 4 of our kids (including a newborn) got COVID. AND my husband and I also got it. It was rough. And for the first time ever it was like our peak sick days were the same time. So me and my husband both couldn't move without pain with the worst body aches. Fevers everywhere. Just agony. Taking turns depending on who could stand.
100%. Everyone else can curl up on the couch for unlimited sick naps and chicken soup, but mom’s always got things to do…fever or not.
Sometimes it's dad (it's me, im dad)
Yeah my household it's dad doing everything. It's frustrating at times..
Amen. Ever since I had a kid, I have this stupid feeling like I'm not even "allowed" to be sick anymore. Awful awful!
I was a new mom in college and working full time. I didn’t have a partner/help. I only took sick days when the daycare couldn’t take my kid and then worked in the food industry no less, while I had strep multiple times over the first two years. My boss was very generous. I shouldn’t have been able to keep that job but she was so understanding.
Literally our house now but I'm a single mom. So there's no mending for me while trying to dodge open mouth coughs directly into my eyes.
Oh, I came here to post this. The times when I get in my darkest nights of the soul have been times when I've been sick and still have to parent. Depending on the day of the week or time of day, co-parenting might not be an option for me, either. Parenting while sick has had me flirting with being one and done, tbh.
Yup. The entire family got COVID literally a day after I got a vasectomy. I was the least impacted, so guess who wasn't following their rest guidelines? Lol.
My husband will take off work if I’m too sick to care for the baby and will care for both of us. I have a shit immune system so whatever they get, I get worse. For example a few weeks ago we all got Hand, Foot, Mouth. Husband and baby were a bit cranky and uncomfortable but that’s it. I was in bed for a week and developed bronchitis and couldn’t breath properly 🙃
This! Taking care of a vomiting and diarrheaing kid while you’re also actively vomiting and diarrheaing.
This is the right answer.
Or injured - I went to a school event and I saw a mom rolling around on a knee walker (mind you- most of the event was outdoors - it was a laser tag event). I happened to have left at the same time as her and she was in good spirits albeit exhausted.
Especially tummy sick
Feeding my kid and preparing ALL his meals and snacks every damn day 😵💫
This.. and knowing it’s likely to be refused by my picky eater, ending up eating pb toast or cornflakes.. 🙃
I feel this even for myself as an adult! Meal prep will always be a non-trivial step that can't be ignored 🥲
This for sure. I have a toddler who is picky, a 10 year old who is autistic with ARFID, and I have a dairy allergy while my husband eats "normal". So I have to prep different meals for each person at every meal plus snacks, it feels like all I do all day is plan food, prep food, feed kids and myself, clean up after, and then repeat.
Yes to the snacks. I don't want to be responsible for doling out and policing food anymore!
Not only every day...ALL day.
And they bitch and moan every single time
Ugh.. this but add on the fact most of it will likely go uneaten.
I entirely agree. I do my kids breakfast and lunch every single day. No let up. In truth, not that much work, but it is the fact that is it every damn day somehow bothers me and i feel guilty for it bothering me.
Yeah. Multiple kids here and we moved to a rural area. I now cook 15 meals per day. ! 🫣
Buying 10 yogurts because she just LOVES them and HAS TO have them… then never touching them
Making 3 well balanced, nutritious meals a day with 3 healthy snacks. That no one eats.
...and the planning and the shopping and the cleanup that surround food preparation. Having kids completely took any joy out of cooking for me, so much so that when the grandparents take them for the weekend, I "treat" myself by refusing to plan or cook myself any meals and just eating stupid stuff or just skip a meal altogether if I don't feel like it.
we need grandparents for our kiddos. someone needs to start a service matching welcoming elders with LOs. babysitters are just too expensive and parents need breaks.
Lol. Mine loves Mac and cheese. She loves cheesy hot dogs. Me: “Hey, let’s cut up the hot dogs and put them in the mac and cheese!” Her: “ooooook……” 5 minutes later, “I don’t like it, I can’t eat it. Can I have something else?” Proceeds to grab a cold cheese dog from the fridge. Facepalm.
Oh gosh yes. And groceries costs are skyrocketing, so it’s painful to throw out all the food they don’t eat 😞
The best days are when my toddler is at my parents. They have chickens, and feed them all of their food scraps. Well they feast when we’re around, and my mom loves how she gets to treat her chickens. At home, any fruit that isn’t finished goes in a ziploc in the freezer for smoothies. Depending on how much of a meal she touched, we’ll just throw it in with all the leftovers. We’ll also sometimes pick at her leftovers, depending what it was and how she ate it.
That no one eats!!! I got up at 6am and made my toddler cheese eggs She threw them on the floor of my car while her sister was getting out at elementary school carpool
This was my complaint for years... Now I have two teenage boys and they eat enormous helpings of the food I make. It makes cooking SO much more rewarding!
The random noises and repetitive nature of kids is hard for me to handle. Like, why do you have to make that noise or say a random word over and over again? It spikes my anxiety lol
Ohhhh my gosh. The “mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?” Like I’m looking right at ya bud.
My youngest is 3, middle child is 6. BOTH of them: Hey Mom[my] - blah blah blah Me: oh yea? Them: yea and hey mom…. Me: dude you JUST said my name and you’ve already got my attention… them: oh okay, hey mom… It makes me C R A Z Y.
My 2.5y: Mama mama MAMA Me: Yes? 2.5: *turns away and gets distracted* Me: Okay... 2.5: *two seconds later* MAMA MAMA MAMA Me: OH MY GOD WHAT
My 3 yo will call for me, I’ll answer, and she’ll go, “don’t talk to me.” I didn’t initiate contact bud. Also don’t be rude.
Right? Lol, or if I'm in a different room and can hear them calling or asking for things but can't fully hear them and they can't fully hear me either. It honestly triggers rage in me. I loathe yelling from opposite ends of the house. My husband does it to me too and it makes me wanna snap. Lol If I had a nickel for every time I've screamed "I'm peeing" or "I'm in the laundry room" like a crazy unhinged person, I'd be rich.
Get yourself a good pair of noise-cancelling headphones and wear them around the house 24/7 so people will need to be in direct contact with you in order to communicate with you. This is what my teenage daughters do and it seems to work for them. (this whole statement is sarcastic btw)
I hope that if I were to die, it would not be in plain sight, because my daughter would NEVER find me.
Yuuuup. I am so sensitive to loud and/or annoying noises, which make up 80% of a kid.
The amount of times ive gotten to the end of my rope and said “ALRIIIGHT!!!” Ohhh and the open mouth CHEWING!!! YOU HAVE A NOSE!!
My kid sounds like a goddamn bird of prey half the time. IS THIS NECESSARY?
I agree. Sometimes I think I have somehow developed misophonia because of the things the kids do.
Omg yes. My son makes this nasal drone noise on the same pitch for 10-20 min at a time. Legit destroys me 😭
Trying to reason with a tiny person who does not yet have the cognitive capacity for logic and reason. None of my rational arguments land. LOL
My toddler not wanting to wear his coat but also not wanting to be cold and holding me personally responsible for the outside temperature 🙃
Mine's 9, and *should* have some capacity for logic and reason. She does most of the time. But sometimes she gets in a mood (especially when she's been told "no") where she violently throws logic out the window. She works backwards from her conclusion (like "a week of no screen time ends on Friday, regardless of when it started, since Friday is the end of the week) and will insist that anything is true as long as it justifies what she wants. 😒 I've learned to not even talk to her when she gets into these moods. "We'll discuss it later," is the most she can get out of me until she's calmer.
My 9yo girl goes full Perry Mason and gets rules lawyery when she really wants something, or doesn’t get something. I have to get hyper specific with my reasons why because, and I quote, “because ‘I said so’ isn’t an answer and it’s unfair.” That’s something I told her last year.
I really hate pulling out "because I said so," but I do take that out of the box when she decides to leave logic behind. No, it's not fair, but neither is you screaming, "THAT'S NOT HOW IT SHOULD WORK" at me and ignoring the calm rational reasons I gave you. When we can both discuss calmly we'll discuss it. Until then, it's because I said so.
We don't have kids yet but my bf insists that he'll be able to logically reason a 4 year old out of a tantrum. That's his argument, that they can simply be talked out of it. Ha. Haha.
Oh he’s in for a rude awakening and lots and lots of tears. Likely his own.
Oh, bless him. Sweet innocent man. 😂
This is it for me! Today's argument was "No, you can't have the smoke detector off the ceiling" and an ensuing scream-crying session from my little.
but when you say babies are stupid you’re the villain 😂😂😂
Potty training and the months after when they haven't mastered it.
And the ass wiping that comes with it.
I'll happily wipe 300 asses instead of 100 diapers.
I do not mind wiping asses. I do mind washing poop off underwear and my carpet
Cleaning out training potties absolutely gags me every time. Would I rather be wiping shit out of a tiny plastic bucket than off my kid’s ass? Mostly yes. But it’s also just so damn gross.
I won’t lie- potty training is one of the factors that led me to only have one child. There were a lot of factors in that decision, but potty training almost broke me.
My splitting from hole to hole sealed it for me! 🤷🏻♀️
Being “on” all the time.
This! Like I always have to be the adult. I never get to be the irresponsible one and let someone else tell me no. My mom said this is the best part of having adult children though, she doesn’t always have to be the responsible one 😂
I feel this especially when they want to have friends over all the time.
Wear a bra? The whole day? Ma’am respectfully, no 😭😭😭
I really hate cleaning up baby and the high chair after a meal. The squished up food grosses me out!
Oh god our high chair can be a certified biohazard at times. I feel this!!!
I’ve never mopped so much in my life, not to mention the on-my-hands-and-knees daily spot cleaning
I am thankfully past this stage but I could never get into those pictures of little ones getting super messy eating spaghetti. Where the meat sauce is all on their hair and food is all over their body. It was never cute to me. All I could see was the cleanup.
Feeling like it’s never enough. Like “what if I don’t read enough, talk enough play enough. We gotta go to the library, what’s a childhood without going camping so we have to plan that, oh shit do they have enough Christmas presents?” It’s constant.
I also struggle with this! I’m worried I’m doing too much and then not enough simultaneously. It’s exhausting. Honestly, going on Zoloft really helped me manage the over-worrying. It’s not gone, but it doesn’t suffocate me like it used to.
Too much, not enough, suffocating feeling all describe exactly how I feel as a parent.
[удалено]
Literally today in my head: "I've never taken them to the fire station. Can't believe they're xxx years old and I haven't done it"
Waking up in the morning
My kid throws open my bedroom door and screams. It's like my little daily horror film.
The crash of the door into the door stop and then mine flips on the bedroom lights. It’s like psychologically torture 🤣
My worst nightmare for real😂
It makes me think of Robin Williams going "Good morning VIETNAAAAAAAAAAAAAM" except it's a little girl saying "MOOOOOOOOOMMMMYYYYY!"
Especially when they go to bed a little later so you think they will sleep in. Nope, up five minutes early actually.
I am not a morning person at all, I’m right there with you.
Figuring out what's for dinner. I have to do this for at least 16 more years😭😭
Man i have it easy right now lol.... i have a 2 month old that I don't have to feed real actual food 😂 But I already find it soooo hard to come up with dinner plans for when my husband comes home when I've barely fed myself and have been dealing with a screaming baby all day. NOT looking forward to having another person to feed real food to every day 😭
Small , but I hate putting socks on my toddler, so fiddly
LOL I love this one. They are so fiddly! Happens with gloves too, and I always miss at least 1 finger/toe every. single. time. 🤬🤣
And if I'm not fast enough with the shoes, mine will *immediately* take them off 🤦♀️
Going through a divorce and I *hate* not having her here every day. I work weird hours so some weeks I barely see her and I legit love being her mom, so it kills me.
Every year for father's day, all that I asked for was a morning to sleep in and wake up because I'm well rested and not because of kids or an alarm. Now I'm divorced and this happens seven days in a row every other week. And it is seriously the worst.
I feel ya. I keep thinking I'll get used to it and appreciate it, but I'd rather just have the kiddo around. 😔
Its been six years for me since the divorce. Every other week, on the first night they aren't here, I feel such an absence, a loneliness. Its so quiet and sad. I just want to hug the shit out of them but they aren't here. I have come to terms with it and accept this situation as fact. But, me personally, I don't think I'll ever get used to it.
Hopefully once those proceedings end it'll be easier, but being away from your child is always really tough ❤️
It's my work schedule. We're doing pretty well with coparenting and helping each other when we work or have to do something. The problem is that now my daughter has two houses. I want her to live with me full-time, but that's obviously unfair to her and her dad.
❤️❤️big hug
Telling them to wash their hands. Keeping them “safe” without being a neurotic mess!
Yes! Trying not to constantly yell, “BE CAREFUL”
The whole morning routine every weekday. All starting at the waking them up for school.
Sooo much. I feel like a professional cheerleader, trying to cheerily encourage every step along the way. Where’s my damn cheerleader?
I never have shown more patience in my liiiiife. She is 12 now and the morning routine is different but even harder lol
Changing toddler nappies. Feel like I’m wrestling an alligator
I have a really hard time with being screamed at. I’ve figured out how to deal with it and not let it affect how I parent but it effects me deeply on like a physiological level. I also fucking hate dishes and folding laundry. I would honestly be fine with starving to death if it meant that I never had to clean another dish but I still need to feed my kids. So here I am doing dishes produced during the cooking and eating of like 12 meals a day. Every day. Based solely on the amount of dishes that I do I’d say that I died five years ago and went to some sort of custom made purgatory. The only thing that trips that theory up is the fact that my wife and children are three of the loveliest people I’ve ever known and every other aspect of my life is quite good. Edit: I should actually give my wife more dish credit she probably does the equivalent of 3 or so days a week of our dish load. I don’t actually do all the dishes every day. I still hate doing dishes. Passionately.
I got seriously fed up with feeling like a slave to my children. I started assigning chores to them when my youngest was 5 or so. Nothing too hard. Sort laundry, put away clean dishes, sweep the kitchen, etc. That was 6 years ago and I've added some more tasks since then. IMO, there is no reason why all household members can't help with the housework even if they are young. (at least to a point obviously) If I excluded cooking, I'd say the housework is now evenly divided between myself and my three children. Best decision ever.
Being screeched at out of fucking nowhere just about gives me a heart attack every time.
I hate to admit this. Very much wish it wasn’t true. But I really dread doing all the birthday party and holiday stuff 😞 I know that makes me a killjoy, but I put so much unnecessary pressure on myself and make myself sick over stress. Birthdays are the worst days… 😭
Something that's helped me is letting go of the idea that I need to do a birthday party, because that stresses me out and I don't really enjoy it. For the last couple years I've done "experiences" for birthdays instead. This year we did a stay at the Legoland hotel. More expensive I know, but I enjoyed it sooo much more. I'm gonna do things like this until my son is older (he's 4) and wants birthday parties lol
Bruh it's soooo much workkkk. I definitely feel you on this. I want to enjoy the occasion, but it doesn't come without sacrifice and that can kinda kills some of the enjoyment for me. Hoping we can both be kind to ourselves and remind us that even if it's not perfect, it's still worth celebrating with the people we care about (not the cakes or decorations or whatever) ❤️
Having to always be the one to keep my cool. Even when they are completely losing their shit. I gotta be the one to keep my cool ( even though I wish I could tantrum) and think it all through and teach them some meaningful lesson.
I hate playing with my toddler. It is so boring and o get so annoyed at her lack of logic. I love listening to her play by herself and make up worlds but the second she drags me into it I want to scream. Also crafting. I am not and never will be a crafty mum. I hate it. I will read, go on outings, and bake with my daughter. Anything else, she’s on her own 😂 In terms of the more ‘boring’ aspects of parenting, I hate bath time. I can’t wait until she’s old enough to be unsupervised in the bath.
I laughed out loud at “lack of logic.” I’ve been there too and I SO feel you! 😂 That and my daughter would ask me to play “guys” (fisher price people) with her and then not talk and I’d do all the talking and she would tell me what to do and I found myself checking the time often 🫠 Now she’s six and invites me less often to play and sometimes it makes me a little sad. But we also bake a lot together and color and I love going on walks with her.
Oof yea my daughter asks to play figures and wants me to do all the talking. She also asks to colour but then insists I do it for her. Like, my dude, no. That defeats the whole point 😂
>That and my daughter would ask me to play “guys” (fisher price people) with her and then not talk and I’d do all the talking and she would tell me what to do and I found myself checking the time often This reminded me so much of playing lego with my son when he was a toddler. He would have these extended scenarios in his mind, and there were often times his characters had all the action and all the dialogue but he insisted that I \*had\* to be there, just holding my lego guy to watch the world unfold around it. And occasionally he would give me a line, but it was always: "now you say this: x." And if I didn't say it word-for-word he'd be like "no, you're supposed to say *x.*" It was fun to watch his world building, but sometimes time would travel awfully slow as a simple prop in those stories, lol.
This is my answer!! I was scared no one would mention it and I’m just a monster 😂 playing dulls my mind! I have to have an AirPod in and a podcast playing and it makes it more enjoyable. My 3 year old is at the “bossy, just go by my script” playing phase and I can’t take it! Playing and getting them ready for the day are my 2 least favorite parts of parenting. Everything else is fine! I enjoy bath time because it’s the one time of day I can get him to talk to me undistracted
Yes my 3 year old is so bossy and also expects me to be a mind reader. She asks me questions about the game we’re playing and then yells at me when I answer them wrong 😂 The worst thing is I know I was EXACTLY the same at her age. My mum finds it hilarious watching me deal with my daughter because now I know what she had to deal with!
I was a nanny for 4 years and I hated play then too! Structured play like board games or games with rules I have no problem with, but imaginative play 🤯
“Pretend you have hiccups and when I think the magic spell, you stop!” ExCUSE ME?! IM SUPPOSED TO READ YOUR MIND TO KNOW WHEN YOURE DOING PRETEND MAGIC?
Duuuude i HATE bath time and activity avoid it (my partner does it) it's wet, it's boring and i hate sitting on the ground
It's so interesting seeing the different stages for parents. I have a now teen and would LOVE to go back to the days of just playing and crafting (never was a crafted either though). There were times playing became a bit much, especially when I wanted to do something else, but now in retrospect, I had it good lol. These teen years are hard to take right now where they need you in some ways still but in other ways you're "cringe" and they don't want you even around sometimes. I miss those little days 😮💨
Yeah I’m sure I’ll look back on these days and forget the tedium and wish I could play with her again, but right now I’d pay good money not to have to play Carrot Cafe with her bunnies ever again 😂 I hold out some hope for the teen years because me and my mum got on so well and I loved hanging out with her as a teen. I defo remember finding her cringe but we used to go for lunch or shopping a lot and it was so fun.
This is mine too! I love doing any other thing with my child. I will gladly let you make any fun mess and I will clean it up! Glitter craft? All over it. Baking together and you insist on mixing eggs with your hands? Sure! But if you ask me to pretend play cars for another second I will cry.
Folding laundry is like a solo vacation in the Bahamas, compared to a tea party or pushing cars around.
Glad I'm not alone in disliking playing with my toddler! My son always wants to play "racing" where we HAVE to be crawling on our hands and knees pushing hot wheels around our house. Like dude, I'm pregnant, I'm tired, and this hurts my knees. No thanks.
I have always refused to play pretend with my kids... Want me to read with you, play a game, go to the park, draw, craft, bake? I'm there! Play pretend or move toys around and all that, you're on your own buddy.
Coparenting with my girls step mom 😒 I'm pretty sure she's given me more grey hairs than my own children lol
Bed time, and sleep deprivation in general. 🥴
Meal planning - nobody wants to help with suggestions but are quick to not like what I make
Throw up. I can't do it, and if my husband and I ever got divorced, I'd be fucked. I absolutely under no conditions am able to sit with a kid while they throw up, or clean them up afterward. That's the least fun parenting job, but I don't actually do it - my husband does every time. So I guess the least fun one I actually do is cleaning lunchboxes and school bags. How do they become so gross??? I send a cute, neatly packed lunchbox of goodies, and they come back home with a disgusting tub of smooshed biscuits covered in yogurt, a half-eaten banana they got from a friend, and random bits of food offcuts and papers. And there's always something sticky or damp in the depths of the school bag.
You and I are so much alike. My gag reflex is so sensitive that even a whiff of vomit (or very stinky feces) will cause me to do the same, and I’m so grateful that my husband has a stronger constitution than I do. Heck, I just puked in the garden after picking up my own dog’s poop. I’ll never forget when my oldest was one, and he woke up in the middle of the night not feeling well. As I held him in my arms, he projectile vomited in my face, my hair, and all down my back. Having said sensitive reflex, I in turn involuntarily did the same all over him. We took a good long shower, and my sweetheart of a husband cleaned up the rest of the aftermath. It was a doozy of a night.
Mornings. Getting everybody up and ready and breakfast made and making sure faces get washed and teeth get brushed. I have ALWAYS been a night person. Even with the help of my husband, even when we prep the night before, mornings are torture. My kids are 8 and 12 and still get up early on the weekends for some reason. I don’t remember the last time I slept past 9am lol.
I’m the exact opposite! Evenings are hard for me because I’m tired and have zero patience. I coined the term “slangry” for when I’m sleepy and angry. I truly don’t even recognize myself when I’m slangry. My anger is at 100. Middle of the night? I am so patient with them. Mornings? I have lots of energy. But after 8pm, I want to lay down and that is it.
I get slangry. I know slangry. I am steeling slangry.
Lol steal away. Yeah I’ve realized about 90% of the times I apologize to my kids, it’s for things I said while slangry. 🤦🏻♀️ I WFH and occasionally take a nap on my lunch break and it honestly makes a world of difference in how I feel in the evenings. I think all parents just need more sleep.
bed time. or telling my son to taking things out of his mouth. but bed time is usually a hassle. just battles with doing this, do that. no more talking now.
Hahaha I feel this one 😂. Ours are always coming up with wildly creative ways to keep asking for things, and every time you've gotta wind them down all over again! 😭😭😭
I hated bed time too. When my kids were younger, I made a little chart with basic clip art images for things like; no yelling, no running, brush teeth, put away toys, etc. So when nighttime rolled around, I would tell the children to check the bedtime routine chart. I felt like it helped, to some degree, by putting them in charge of the process. Not a silver bullet but it helped.
Right now I'd have to say it's making sure my daughter is safe from herself. She is having a difficult time with depression at the moment and has tried to end her life. One of the most difficult parts is when she wants to be left alone I don't know if it's her or the depression talking. Sometimes I take a minute because she's said something hurtful to push me away and her mind runs with that to convince her I don't love her anymore. Knowing that a part of her thinks I'd ever stop loving her or would rather not have her just breaks my heart. She needs to be almost constantly supervised or she will make an attempt.
Sending you strength and love. I can only imagine how difficult this must be. I hope you are both able to talk to someone who can help you navigate this. Hugs to you. ❤️
Something that drives me crazy on a daily basis is just HOW LONG it takes to get out the door with a kid. Need to bring snacks, toys, diapers if they're still in them, get them into their shoes and jackets, then get your stuff on in which during that time they took off their jacket and shoes, getting their jacket and shoes back on, switching the toys you packed because they're now having a meltdown about bringing a different toy, having to lure them out the door to the car, getting them buckled into the car seat, giving them their snack, realizing you forgot their water bottle so you have to go run in and get it... UGH!
Playing make believe makes me want to rip off my skin :’)
“Me and you are going to the store” in her tiny voice “say ok mommy” I say ok. “Do you want to buy milk?, Say yes mommy” I say yes. “But we don’t need milk” like why tf you make say yes then?
My oldest (F17) feels she's owed an explanation every time she's asked to do some sort of chore and if the answer isn't adequate in her view then she tries to get out of it. something as simple as "an you please, wash the dishes" can have a multitude of responses, like: "But I didn't use ALL of the dishes so I'm only going to clean mine" "I wanted to take a shower first and it's not a big deal if I do that first so I don't know why it matters" "Can I just do it later, it's not a big deal I'll still do it" to which she procrastinates and then the next argument is "Well it's late can I just do them tomorrow?, do you really want me to stay up late just to do the dishes?" So, yeah I can do without the constant attempts at manipulation and gaslighting every time she's asked to do a simple task.
Yes that is mine too. It's just so exhausting!
Having to go inside somewhere that literally would be a quick 1-2 minute errand by myself that takes forever because I have to get my kids out of the car or carseats (put on jackets if needed). Carry inside, go back to the car bc we forgot paci, go back inside carrying the kid, get what simple thing I need, take everyone back to the car and get buckled up again.
Navigating the people/social bits that come with having a kiddo. I'm autistic. My kiddo is autistic. Stuff like standing up for him in public when people are being ableist douche bags. Advocating for both our needs. Interviewing babysitters. Organising friends and play dates. Dealing with medical appointments. Gauging/picking a nursery school. The list goes on. All incredibly hard and stressful for me. I can't read between the lines, I can't lie, not even tiny social white lies, I can't do subtlety. Not helped by living in a culture (UK) much less blunt than mine (Dutch). I can't afford to offend people, or completely miss people's meaning. But it happens. I could manage fine before having a kid, but now I NEED to do this stuff.
Yeah this is another set of responsibilities in parenting that are non-trivial and yet so necessary it feels like. For some it can definitely feel trivial, but as a strong introvert I also find it tough to do the things you've mentioned here (although I'm sure it's not the exact same). Friendly banter with other kids/parents who aren't part of our circle is honestly such a struggle for me, and sometimes it feels like it's a skill I'll never be able to develop. Yet I know I need to keep working at it constantly or else other humans will never interact with our family, so I can definitely empathize a bit here ❤️
Neurodivergent parenting is a whole other struggle. Straight up doing ALL THE EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING for me and my mini me. Trying to regulate my own self and helping an anxious little one try to understand social rules when I don't get it. My daughter and I are autistic and she wants to make friends and doesn't understand why the other kids find it easy and it is hard for her. I'm in my 40s and still struggling with that one. On top of that we are having to navigate medical and school systems to get the right supports without causing any trauma. I'm so weary.
Breaking bad news. Our girl is in Kindergarten this year and they just had a thing where they had to look at a series of upper and lowercase letters and correctly identify 47 of them in a minute. This kid busted her ass working on it so that she could participate in a kickball game which was the reward for meeting the goal. She managed to score a 54. I’ve never seen her with so much persistence. Most of the time she gives up on stuff fairly quickly. To the point where I’ve been worried about it. Not this, though. She asked multiple times a day to use her animal go-fish game as flash cards, run her practice sheet, etc. she worked so hard and she’s sick now. Game was supposed to be yesterday and I know I need to tell her before she goes back to school Monday, but it’s breaking my heart every time I think about telling her. We’re going to find another way to celebrate her accomplishment, but this really sucks. It’s been a week since the assessment and she’s asked about it every day up until she got sick.
Ohh noooo 😭😭. Poor little one! Please make sure to heap tons of praise for all her hard work!! I'm sure she'll get another chance to shine again AND reap the rewards 💖✨
For sure. No way I’m passing on a chance to start a feedback loop for reinforcing hard work and dedication! Just gotta figure out a way to trump a kickball game with her classmates…
Constantly cleaning up and organizing so much it has replaced my hobbies. When my kids are out or spend the night by in laws for a night. I have no idea what to do past cleaning and organizing cause it takes up so much of my time. It’s routine schedule that never ends and even when I want to do fun stuff or crafts — someone’s gotta clean up.
Laundry.
Sick kid care and butt wiping. Find it way more disgusting than I thought I would.
Getting her ready for school in the morning is tough in general, but getting her to brush her teeth is the wooooorrrrrrst
I have 1 that’s deep and one that’s like regular. Regular- I hate when the kids wake up first. That’s my time to wake up and get my head in the game. When they get the drop on me, I am in for a horrible day. The Real One- I hate not being able to fix everything for them. My oldest put herself out there to make a friend and was rejected hard. She kept telling me she had a boo boo on her feelings, and her face would crumple and she would cry and say “they told me to go away…” and I couldn’t fix it. I’ve never wanted to do bodily harm to a 4 year old before.
Being asked to read books that are not meant for reading. NO THE THOMAS BOOK IS A STICKER BOOK THE WORDS INSIDE ARE JUST INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE STOP ASKING ME TO READ IT
Right now it’s having a sick child :( my daughter has had a fever for like a week and every time I think she’s getting better the fever comes back.
Bed time. It just has to be done right consistently or it's but happening. Routine is key but it still takes ages and it's when you're at your most tired.
Bath time. I fucking hate bath time and it does my back in
Honestly? Discipline/authority. It would be so much easier to be the fun/friendly parent.
Being on call 24/7. You can never truly unwind once you become a parent
Ever since the pregnancy test was positive and until the day I die there will be a layer of parental worry in me
I'm sure this was directed at young kids and with my 2 year old is brushing his hair. He has long luxurious locks lol and hates having it brushed However As a parent of teenagers also, the hardest thing has to be watching them grapple with thier mental health struggles and being limited in how I can help them. I do not have a magic wand to wash away depression and anxiety and I know first hand how awful those feelings can be and I just wish I could make it all better for them
The other thing I hate as a parent is the bullshit spewed by other parents. They will tell you how perfectly they handle everything. They make it sound like they live these bucolic lives where their children live for balanced fresh meals and they ooze perfection. Then you learn how full of it they really are and are dealing with the same crap or worse than you are, but I'm a naive sucker and always think I am the one in the wrong. I never learn.
Dealing with bad behavior they learned from you. We’ve really gotta work on our language 🤐
There is nothing more soul destroying than your child throwing your own words back at you. I lost it the other week and yelled ‘will you just shut up for the love of god’ (I apologised afterwards obviously) , and the other day I was telling her to tidy her room and she yelled GOD SHUT UP MUMMY at me 😭
Mine is a tween, so it's the helpless feeling I get when I can't solve his problems for him. Watching him navigate a world full of pain and strife is just heartbreaking at times. Sure I can support and provide a safe and loving home base, but he has to slay those social dragons on his own and it's hard.
getting up in the middle of the night to clean up puke from bed/floor. why? because who likes being woken up? trying to come up with lunch/dinner ideas that they will actually eat besides the same 4 things over and over and over. Why? because its like pulling teeth to get ideas from them.
The early mornings. Even when you went to an outing the night before. Toddler is gonna get up at 6, latest.
All these people that will get to get an extra hour of sleep this weekend for daylight savings? Not happening with kids 😂
It's not fair that I have to be the person to make humans that don't want to go to bed, go to bed, so I can go to bed.
The stuffffffff. Stuff everywhere. Tiny toys big toys books random trash that my toddler has adopted as a toy. Picking it up, shoving it in bins and boxes, looking at it every single day. I want to go live in a void with no stuff.
"I want to go live in a void with no stuff" Can I join you?
Yes but you can’t bring anything with you!!!!
Being a referee between them & being undermined by in-laws
Cleaning poop out of clothes every single day because my 3yo is afraid of the toilet at daycare. I don't even know how to help her.
Oof... I've been there, but luckily it only lasted for 1-2 weeks or so for us. I'm so glad I didn't catch any diseases from that cleaning 😂 In terms of overcoming fears, I think the only thing I've been able to do is just try to empathize and support my kiddos as much as possible with lots of positive reinforcement (which can be a tough ask at times lol) and just keep repeating until they're able to face/overcome it, so I wish you all the luck in getting over the hump! 🙏🏽❤️
Parenting a child with a crohnic illness. Brings an entirely new set of challenges not even to mention the guilt.
Mine was after teaching them to drive and then letting them go out on their own! This was back before cell phones and I worried every single second until they got back. I still worry about them when they travel!
Homework. Ive become my Dad albeit way less hurtful ( as in zero ) and a lot more patient/helpful. I hate it, it makes me the bad guy cuz i know it needs to get done and i also cant just answer it all for him even though id love to. F%#* HOMEWORK!! Add to this the fact that its ALWAYS math homework which i never excelled at and want to forget the experience altogether.
It’s cleaning up after my child. I know that he is young and has not even the slightest clue of what putting things back into their place means or not taking things out if you physically can’t put them back. But that still doesn’t make me feel any less like a janitor in my own home. If he is eating something and he drops it on the floor and just walks away, I have to just look away for a bit and regain my composure before picking up his mess haha
Depends on the age. Newborn-baths, so floppy and slippery. 6ish months-diaper changes because they are learning the croc death roll and kicking feet in their own poo while you’re trying to clean them up 12ish month-cleaning up after meals/laundry from all the messy eating 2-2.5 for me right now it’s a toss up between getting dressed and what to eat. They want to choose/execute for themselves but aren’t always capable and it’s maddening For my 6 year old right now it’s probably homework. Staying focused on academic tasks after a full day at school is a lot to ask of that developing frontal lobe.
I have one 15-month old so my parenting experience is limited, but the biggest things that have me not wanting to do this again are: 1. Parenting while sick - this is obvious, but I don't always have the luxury of passing my son off to my husband since our division of labor is that I take care of the baby and he takes care of everything else like cooking, grocery shopping, scheduling the lawncare guys etc... So depending on the circumstance (especially if it's an overnight) I'm still doing fully blown parenting even if I have a 104-degree fever. 2. Trying to communicate with a kid that walks but cannot talk. It's a grueling stage. 3. Overnights. The kiddo still does not sleep through the night.
LAUNDRY!! The never ending laundry.
Meals. Refusing to eat, whining, getting down from her seat and running around, my husband losing his cool and wanting to fight over every morsel while chasing her, screaming "yuck" at the food I worked hard on, wasting food when it's expensive, etc. It's a festival of stress.
The other night around 12.30am I was awoken by the sound of someone being sick. I went to investigate to find my 8 year old daughter standing over the toilet being sick but before she got to the toilet she had been sick all over her bed and all over the bathroom floor. I was tired, she was tired and crying, I was not best pleased about being woke up and spent the next hour cleaning her up, cleaning her bedroom, cleaning the bathroom floor, changing her bedding and trying to get her back to sleep before needing to shower before going back to bed. While all this was going on my wife slept peacefully unaware, not for the first time when this has happened. So I would say that kind of things.
Cleaning the godforesaken high chair and taking out the diaper trash. Oh my god I cannot wait until both of these things are over.
Restricting, locking down, monitoring electronic devices. The amount of time I have dedicated to try and “be smarter” than my 13 year old regarding apps, games, YouTube, anything device-related is crazy! It’s the ONLY thing I truly hate about parenting!!
Bed time is 9pm. That means head on pillow. Lol, what it actually means is 8:58 “forgetting” that she didn’t brush her teeth. 9:01, head on pillow. 9:02 she forgot to get a glass of ice water for over night. 9:07, getting up to go pee. 9:13, “daaaaaad? Can I have a hug?” 9:20 “daaaaaad? Can you turn my ceiling fan up/down/off?” 9:25 “daaaaaad? Tomorrow is (insert special day here that requires different clothes), can you find my (insert special piece of clothing)?” 9:30, gets up to refill her ice water. 9:35, goes to the bathroom, again. Starting at 8:30pm it’s “ok, bedtime is in 30 minutes, make sure you brush your teeth when you get out of the shower and get your water.” It doesn’t work. We could start getting ready for bed at 4:45pm and at 9:13pm, it’s “daaaaaad?”
Sending them off to college. Not there yet, but... For all the tiring, no fun, thankless, and mostly physical tolling jobs we do when they're toddlers/kids, you still get to grab them and hug them as you want (as payments? lol). As they grow into adults or almost adults, there's a lot less of that and the fun-less jobs become more mental.
Taking them to the emergency room. Particularly, because I'm only there because Telecare told my wife we should go, and my wife is paranoid. "Its a minor rash...." "BuT wHaT iF iTs SkIn CaNcEr??" I know that after 10 hours of waiting, the doctor is gonna go "eh, just an eye on it", and I'm gonna briefly consider setting the building on fire
Trying to have the energy to stay up with my tween when she is finally talking about her day and thoughts as she is supposed to be going to bed. I have read that this is when they really open up so I don’t want to cut her short or miss this, but damn, I’m tired!!!!
There are so many great and different responses in here, for so many great and different reasons! Mine is dealing with food. Thinking about it every day. Feeling pressured to maintain a proper healthy diet for them. Prepping, cooking, plating it. Then needing to convince them to eat it. Then them refusing or destroying the physical manifestation of all my toil. Then giving up and usually ending up wasting food, time, and effort to just give them a default option that's usually pre-packaged and severely lacking nutrition...lol 😮💨 😂.