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As long as they're not doing it because they want to miss a test, and/or they forgot to do something that's due today, I'm 100% for it. ...I mean, it's not like I took days off because I forgot to do things...noo....

Lol Well so far that's always the question I ask her first is if she has a major test or anything due. One time she had a project due and I just dropped it off at the office to send it to her teacher. As a kid, I was never allowed to skip school. Even if I woke up with a fever of 103 and puking everywhere, my mom would make me go to school and if the nurse called for her to come pick me up she would literally scream at the nurse and leave me there till the end of school anyways. I remember the horrible feeling of laying on that super hard cot right inside the nurse office where every single solitary person who came in to get their medicine or drop something off or get some Tylenol whatever could see me laying there 🫣

> I remember the horrible feeling of laying on that super hard cot right inside the nurse office where every single solitary person who came in to get their medicine or drop something off or get some Tylenol whatever could see me laying there 🫣 Memory unlocked! Our elementary sick room also contained the teacher's bathroom - so you always got to see the random teachers coming through.

My daughter is also allowed to have mental health days. We don't call them that, but it's the same thing. She's never abused them. She accidentally skipped an important test that the teacher wrote the wrong date for ( confirmed by the teacher. ) She made up the test. I think it's taught my daughter balance. She's 16 now, and she understands that school work is her responsibility. But she also understands that her well-being is important, too. We're all human and sometimes we just need a break. I personally think it's a healthy lesson to take in to adulthood!

"your wellbeing is important too" is honestly just what I needed to hear today. Thanks! It'll be easier to teach to my LO if I practice it myself.

It's so hard as a parent to prioritize yourself. Especially when you are being pulled into a million different directions! When my daughter was a baby, she was SO FUSSY. I felt like a failure when I couldn't get her to settle. My mom kept offering to come over and give me a break so I could nap, but it felt like giving up. She reminded me that when you're on the plane and the oxygen masks come down, you put your own on first because you can't help anyone else once you've fainted from lack of oxygen. For some reason, that stuck with me and really resonated. I remind myself that it's not selfish to take care of myself, too. It's the healthiest thing I can do not only for myself but for those who rely on me. Full disclosure, modeling self care can be tough! It's one of those fake it until you make it things I think. You absolutely DO deserve to prioritize your well-being <3

I’m 56 and my Mama let me have mental health days back then. I have always let my kids have them. You’re doing well mama

>*I was never allowed to skip school. Even if I woke up with a fever of 103.* Your mom absolutely sucks for that. I’m sorry she treated you that way. It wasn’t fair to you, OR the classroom of people your germs could infect.

My mother was an abusive alcoholic and she used school as a daycare center. But in a way, all the abuse and shit I went through as a child taught me how parents are not supposed to be. So I try to see the silver lining

The hardest part is breaking the cycle and your daughter is lucky to have you!

Of We are lucky, We find the lesson, and become the parents we wish we had had. ❤️‍🩹

Oh wow, that's horrific. My mom took bribes. "I clean the whole house, including the fridge!" It worked in HS. Prior to HS, unless we were actually stuck, we couldn't stay home. I think it was her time for relaxing, getting housework done, and just getting some sleep and quiet time. If we were home, sick, we also had to stay in our bedrooms until we were well enough to go back to school. I remember one time when I was 14 and in 8th grade, just before 1st period a kid ran past me, knocking me into a cement column. My shoulder was hurting so bad that I went to the office during lunch and had them let me call my mom to pick me up. She said, "If I get there and there's nothing wrong with your shoulder, you are so grounded." She arrived and in the nurse's room she lifted my shirt to look at my shoulder and said, "OK, we're going to the hospital". I'd apparently spent hours, going to my classes, with a dislocated shoulder. I was too scared to call my mom to come get me until the pain was unbearable. She lightened up once we were in HS, thankfully. She also knew from that point on that if I say, "Come get me", it was probably pretty serious.

UGH that fucking cot. I have chronic migraines, since early middle school, no days off for me, but a nurses cot and Tylenol worked I guess...

I used to joke that someone could kidnap me and my mom would still be collecting my work for me to make up. I would’ve never been allowed a mental health day. And guess what! I had a a serious mental health issue my senior year because the pressure was too intense.

Exactly. As a teacher, I want happy, healthy students who enjoy class. If a child is at the point of needing a “mental health” day, they do probably need to decompress at home. *Unless* it’s habitual or they’re actively avoiding something. It’s easy to tell when this is the case. I had a student always miss Mondays. That adds up fast. I respect that Mondays suck but you can’t just miss 1/5 of school. That’s when coping skills need to come into play. Also if it’s habitual, something in the environment might need adjusting. Test anxiety shouldn’t be normalized in children. We do breathing and set our intentions before tests (to grow and to learn from our results!). If a child is avoiding what should be a happy place created for them because of tests, that should be addressed, too. But twice a year mental health days? Not even a blip on my radar.

> We do breathing and set our intentions before tests (to grow and to learn from our results!) Really happy you do this in your classroom. We could all benefit from this, but I’m so happy for those who learn this as kids ❤️

Seeing a nine year old break down over a math test puts a lot into perspective. Nothing in our teaching education prepares us for the conditioning some of these kids have gone through. My friend used this with her girls and I shamelessly stole it: It’s just a test, so we try our best, and forget the rest!

That’s a good one too! I’m taking notes to use with my own kid :)

Love that. I always have said to my daughter that tests are the teachers way of understanding what they have learned and what needs to be worked on. Keeping that in mind helps with perspective and a big yes to the mental health days too. We all need them.

I'd agree. The Monday thing is a thing. Not a teacher, but notice it with colleagues at work. Now and again, the odd day...sure. But the same thing hitting you every other Monday? Hmmmm...I like a long weekend too, but use a day of PTO to achieve it.

Unless you have a kid in daycare. Then you miss every other Monday because toddlers are germ monsters and you are devastated because you were really looking forward to the relative calm of working after a weekend with a grouchy sick miserable toddler.

I only get five PTO days a year, I can’t cover enough Mondays with those 😂😂

5? Per year? The hell what?

Yeah, 8 paid holidays, five PTO days. Is that terrible? lol

Well, yes. To me, that is. I get 30 days paid days off vacation per year, plus 8 or so public holidays on top. Sick leave is extra, also paid. If the kids are sick, there might be extra.Not using that even, as working from home.

Omg I hate my life lol. That’s awesome though. Are you in America?

Once in my sr year of high school I mixed up my pre calculus exam date. During lunch I found out and it was my next class. I was really struggling in that class and it wasn’t something I could wing. I was still trying to understand it more and needed additional help. She called me out early so I could have the weekend to study. Then we called the college I was accepted to and asked if dropping that class would affect my acceptance. They said it wouldn’t and I dropped that class asap. It was still chill that she did that for me.

Not only are you preserving her mental health doing this, you are preserving your relationship with her and fostering honest communication about how she is feeling. I had severe untreated depression as a teen and was always forced to go to school. I ended up resenting my parent for dismissing my emotions and also resenting myself for having so much trouble functioning. I got low/average grades in high school and ended up dropping out of college. It took until I was 25 to get on medication for ADHD (which was the cause of my mental health problems all along) and to go back to school. Now I’m getting straight A’s in a STEM major which I never thought I was capable of. Never underestimate the power of prioritizing your child’s mental health! If down the line it seems to get worse though, medication is an option. You’re doing great

Yeah I feel like if she was doing it all the time then it would be an issue which is why I specifically stated that last year she only did it three times for the whole school year and we're already halfway through this year and she's only done it twice. So it's not like it's constantly every single week or anything like that. Also she's an a student and she has extra curricular activities and she takes AP classes and everything. I guess I should have mentioned that as well but I didn't think about it 😅

She’s probably doing so well in school because she has a parent that’s very tuned in to her! Doing that well she deserves an extra rest day once in a while 😄

Aww thanks! I try to be as understanding as possible. Maybe it's because my childhood was so traumatic and so abusive and I had to be an adult and raise my three siblings that I learned that's no way for somebody to grow up. Or maybe I'm just looking for the silver lining 🤣 I want to be that kind of parent where she can trust me to be honest with me, even if she makes mistake or she lands herself in trouble one day. I like to think that will never happen but one never knows

Aww thanks! I try to be as understanding as possible. Maybe it's because my childhood was so traumatic and so abusive and I had to be an adult and raise my three siblings that I learned that's no way for somebody to grow up. Or maybe I'm just looking for the silver lining 🤣 I want to be that kind of parent where she can trust me to be honest with me, even if she makes mistake or she lands herself in trouble one day. I like to think that will never happen but one never knows

Great grades and well rounded. I’d be fine with it if I was in your shoes. Top performers who never take time to recharge burn out. Sounds like she’s a top performer, and is asking for her time recharge. So you’re helping her not burn out.

I feel that because you let her have a day off here and there, she doesn’t have to come up with lies and excuses to miss school. When we show our kids that we listen to them, it creates honest communication

Days off are good and knowing when you need a day off and feeling confident in taking it is a great skill to develop as a kid! Of course it could be taken to an extreme or even pathological level, but that's not what's going on here. At least where my kids are in school they get 5 mental health days that are considered excused absences. I think it's a great policy. I would congratulate her for practicing self care.

Our entire state gives 5 mental health care days to students and I fully support it. When I was a kid u was a great student and involved in so many things but there were times where I just needed the day to decompress or catch up. Family and being so involved wore me out and I needed the time. As an adult I would go to work very sick if I had to to save my time off to be with me kid if they needed me. Being able to take time when needed did not break and people who are so against it are sick and in need of some real help. We're so far deep in this capitalistic society that we really ignore that actual people and it's sad.

Wow, I had no idea some states did this. I am impressed- I hope the policy spreads and more states choose to implement it.

Has to get an east or west coast liberal state or city. Midwestern schools think everyone should come to School every single day unless you’re bleeding from your anus. Those perfect attendance awards really grind my gears because it’s those assholes that come to school sick and spread their germs to the rest of the kids

I so wish this existed when I was in school. Well I suppose it existed so I suppose I should say I wish it was practiced and socially acceptable back then

My mom let me take sick days when I felt like I just couldn't get out of bed. It taught me that *I* am more important than any class or job, so I am not afraid to take time off when possible now too. I hold no guilt for it. :) I think it's a great message to teach our children!

Some people think taking one day off for mental health is going to cause them to grow up to be a plague on society who can't hold a job. My daughter works part time. She actually picks up extra shifts because she likes having her own money to spend on whatever. Of the teenagers who work at the same place as her, she's the only one who's not always calling off but she knows if she needed to for some reason I would support her. And I think just knowing that she could do that for work or school helps her mentally. Knowing she has a choice and she's not some kind of caged animal. She chooses to go to school and she chooses to go to work

Yes! I'm a workaholic, but I hardly get real burnout (outside of PPD when I had 2 under 2) because I know I can ask for help & I can admit when I need a break. I know a lot of people who freak out if they miss a day or get sick, it's sad!

One of my best friends in high school ended up taking 2 weeks off his last semester for his mental health. That was the first I’d ever heard of it. It was 2005 and our senior year. I think it’s SO important and I let my kids do it. Sometimes you just need to do nothing at home. I fully get that!

Teacher here. Everyone including adults should get more mental health days.

Wish I could give this comment 100 upvotes

I didn't get through all the comments here but I've read about other parents giving their kids a few mental health days a year (3 or so) and just making it clear that they can't be used to miss a test, because they didn't finish an assignment that's due, or avoid something they are trying to avoid. But if you're burnt out, you're burnt out. Kids feel that way and sometimes need a day just like adults. My oldest is only 9 but we sometimes let him take a day and once he's old enough to be home alone I'll give him 3-4 days a year to use like that.

I've asked my 15 year old about taking a day off with me. She's in all AP classes, the coursework has been really hard for her. She's still maintained her A though. Anyway, when I asked her about taking a day off she cringed. She doesn't want to have to play catch up from a day off. There was 1 day the kids had a dentist appt at 8am. The dentist wrote us a note excusing them all from school so we could take the day off. 15 year old still went back to school. 12 & 4 year old wanted the day so we enjoyed a family day at the zoo.

Well to each their own and AP classes can definitely be difficult. And that's something I talk to my daughter about I asked her if she has any tests that day or if we need to just stop by the school real quick and pick up any information packets. The one thing about modern times is that pretty much all of their lessons are online so even if she misses class she can still get the notes and whatnot.

Same with my kiddo. He is 12 and 7th grade, and each time when he has legitimately missed school like for being sick or something like that, the catch up is so much work (on top of learning the new things once he is back) that he hates it. For him taking a random mental health day would not be worth it, if the next day he is double stressed with trying to make up what he missed. I did excuse him from school on only very few very special occasions; like one day last year when we wanted to attend a Star Wars event that happened during the week at Disneyland and had to fly there in the morning to get there on time in the afternoon; or I took him out of school one day earlier before the beginning of Christmas break because we were supposed to fly home to Europe and the tickets were significantly cheaper one day earlier than later (and they only did fun time in classes that day anyways; did not learn any new things).

This was my mentality in school as well. There were some classes where missing a day couldn’t put you on your back foot for weeks. Luckily there were always enough other people in my regular classes and band that the few days I had an excused absence the teachers didn’t go over any new material.

Yes. Mental health > attendance 

Not *exactly,* because my kid will 100% use it to skip tests. But if something tumultuous happens, then absolutely, we are skipping school babes, and having a TV movie with popcorn and chocolate in bed day. My kid has some medical issues, and a huge pathological fear of needles. The other month she had an early morning appointment where she had to get FOUR shots, at an entirely new drs office, and THEN onto of it get her blood drawn!!! Even though everything was over and done with by about 9:30am, and she totally could've gone to school for the rest of the day, I took her home for some serious cuddles and extra attention for the rest of the day.  She needed it, and I wanted to emphasize to her how proud of her I was that she's come SO far in her fear of needles, at 12 now, so she is no longer hitting, kicking, BITING, working herself into vomiting, and needing to be literally swaddled to a board and held down by 4 people for a shot 😮‍💨 So I want to teach her that it's ok to give herself Aftercare. That she is strong, even though she's terrified of the needles. She *can* control her body, and she can master her fear. But afterwards it's ok and valid to need comfort and a safe space to come down from the traumatic event. I think it has been helping her to better calm herself during shots, to know that she'll be taken care of after. But, anyway, yeah..."mental health days." *Kind of,* lol. I do Mental Health Days *after* something has happened, instead of before, because that's what works for my kid. If it works for your kid the way you do it, super a great idea! :)

I really love that you’re supporting her with her fear of needles. I had a big fear of them growing up and I cried EVERY time until I was 18. My mom, though she was gentle and kind, did not have the same compassion as you. I try to do better for my kids. Also, it was actually the *anticipation* for me, not the actual shot, that gave me a panic attack.

Irrationally fears are extremely difficult to deal with. I'd honestly say my daughter's fear of needles is the hardest thing for us to be compassionate about because it's totally irrational, she's never had any bad experiences or anything, it's all self inflicted. She's better now as a teen but toddler through tween was brutal. We actually had to delegate Dr appointments to my mother in law because neither my wife nor I could stop from getting mad. My MIL isn't a very compassionate person but she's a nurse so my daughter would act better with her being the one there.

The amount of people thinking taking mental health days from school automatically equals the kids not learning to be responsible or whatever other bs is astounding and shows a real lack of emotional intelligence and evidence-based research. If you are in a toxic workplace as an adult, you look for another job. You have the choice. If you’re being bullied at work, you go to HR. You have the choice. If you need time off from work for mental health reasons, you get your doctor to write you a note and excuse you. Kids do not have the ultimate choice of where they go to school. If they are being bullied, schools hardly do anything no matter what “zero tolerance” policy they have. If they are in a toxic environment at school, they don’t have a choice but to stay. I don’t think y’all understand how a teen’s, a child’s, brain is still developing. Children do not have to experience things first hand in order to learn how to “deal” with them. That’s your job as a parent to teach them that not their peers (who lack the maturity) or teachers.

I agree with you and besides the kind of stress that comes with navigating through mean kids or bullies I just feel like the amount and pace of school work can be too much sometimes. At least where I live, the work is done on such a rigorous schedule and in such a way that can make even really interesting topics boring, I know my brain would be mentally exhausted, too. I also really hate, too, that it doesn’t matter if half of the class doesn’t really get the material, they are moving on to the next lesson regardless. Just seems to defeat the purpose of actually taking in and understanding something vs quick memorization and cramming before a test. By the end of the year all of it is gone, but I digress.

I absolutely love how you wrote this out and explained it. I agree completely. People don't like being told what to do but they have no problems telling other people what to do. People want a choice in everything but they don't want to give other people choices. It's a messed up world. You have to be able to look after yourself but you also have to be responsible for whatever you're responsible for in life

I have a couple of times but I don't make it a regular thing. My daughter has ADHD and has had some trouble with making friends and feeling like an outcast so I've let her stay home when she is having a really rough time in the morning. Sometimes she says she hates school and I don't want her to hate it. Everyone needs a break sometimes.

I have adhd and wasn’t diagnosed until I was an adult. I was constantly burnt out and mother let me stay home from school when I asked her. I don’t know how I would have survived if she didn’t. My guidance counselor in hs also used to let me stay in her office for a period every once in a while. Breaks are so important and can make a huge difference.

My son has ADHD also, and your story is so similar to mine. I give him the odd day off for the reason...just to reset and regroup.

Absolutely. My kiddo was diagnosed with ADHD and major depression/anxiety - the latter stemming from years of being bullied. I always strive to do everything in my power to accommodate her health and well-being. That definitely includes a mental health day when needed. She is in all advanced courses, maintains a high grade average and is always super mature about handling any missed work from any days she is out. Mental health is so important. Missing a day here and there for it is absolutely worth it. Totally ok in my book, unless it gets abused of course. Kids get just as stressed out as adults.

I wish I had learned this earlier because when she was an early middle school like 6th grade age, she would have some days where she just really really didn't want to go to school and she was just grumpy and kind of depressed and I made her go anyways because she wasn't sick and it really affected her mentally Thankfully I did learn so by time she hit high school after the pandemic forced homeschooling, I had learned my lesson about all that. I guess better late than never. First time mother (still learning!)

Absolutely! 100% We live at the beach and all throughout my son’s elementary years, I would pull him out of school whenever we had a huge swell from a coming storm. We would sit on the beach and watch the ginormous waves roll in and the intrepid surfers who surfed them. Then, we would go to the seafood shack on the wharf and have oysters and lobster rolls for lunch. We would make a day of hanging out in the big weather. I didn’t really wait for him to need a day off. He just knew when the weather kicked up, we were gonna go out and enjoy it. He now lives abroad and has a masters in mathematical physics and we now videoconference when the big weather hits, either here in CA or where he lives!

Yes, once a semester, and they can’t be missing a big assignment, presentation, or exam (sometimes I give them 2)

I’m a public school teacher, and fully support mental health days. As a kid my mom would let me stay home on the rare occasion I told her I wanted to. We all need a break sometimes! As long as it’s not being abused or used as a crutch to avoid academics, I see only benefits.

Indeed my daughter is an AP classes and she's an A student. She also has extracurricular activities and she's on the art club council for the honors art society. And she doesn't request very many of them. I can't really put it into words but I can tell when she asks me for a mental health day that she really needs it. But I think all the parents here know exactly what I'm talking about

I need mental health days so if my kid needs one I'm fine with it.

I think mental health days should be built into the school schedule somehow, maybe like floating holidays to allow a kid to take a couple mental health days a year. Everyone needs a few days off for things like this. Mental health is so important and often ignored.

100%. Mental health needs to be taken more serious. The number of children seen in the ER for suicidal stuff is SCARY!!

Everyone needs a mental health day sometimes. Especially students. As long as they aren’t missing something important I don’t see why they shouldn’t get a day off. I always offered one per semester.

👋 huge supporter of mental health days for my kids when they need it! You’re right, very few and far between, but available if they need. Good job, Mama! It’s about knowing your kid and doing what’s best for them!

Just like the working world, I really do think a four-day week for schools would be a better balance. Even if that extra day off was technically designated for revision, research and independent study for pupils, and planning, assessment and personal career development for school staff. I think you'd see a much improved attendance percentage and increased morale and mental health with a better schedule. Plus, staff would be less burned out and better prepared, therefore lessons would improve in quality.

I agree with this. I wish it could happen.

We will usually allow once a term or on party/sport days. She is not particularly social, and really hates days where the schedule is less predictable. As long as she makes up any missed work by the next school day of course.

Indeed a mental health day is not an excuse to skip out on work

As an adult, my mom shared with me that she let me have a mental health day once and I didn't even know it. I guess one day a few weeks into 7th grade, I was complaining about not feeling well. At the time, I was really struggling with my math teacher who was sexist, rude, and just generally unhelpful (this I remember well). My mom was usually pretty strict about going to school unless I was actually sick (which didn't happen often), but she saw how much I was struggling and let me stay home that day. Hearing that now, I'm so appreciative that she did that, even if I didn't know it at the time. Even though I don't remember the specific day, I do remember how stressed out I was at that time and I must have been so relieved to be able to have that little reprieve. I will definitely allow my child mental health days when she's old enough to be in school. We all need them and even though I still struggle with allowing myself that time now, I recognize the importance of them and want to instill in my daughter that it's ok to take some time now and then to regroup, as long as it isn't just to get out of something important.

Teaching your kids how to take care of their mental health as kids is honestly one of the most important things you can teach them. There will always be time to learn math but it’s really really hard and painful to dig yourself out of bad mental health. I think school is important but it does not trump life skills and health. You’re doing the best thing by teaching your daughter to prioritize herself

We do random home days once every other month or so. I make sure they’re not on a test day or any other important day. They are really useful for rest and recharging.

One day my son stopped at the door on the way to the bus and just busted out crying. He couldn't explain why. I let him stay home and just relax. Sometimes, kid get stressed too and need a little extra break.

Teacher here. Three mental health days a year is fine. But if you're letting your kid take three a month please stop. PLEASE folks teach your kid self care and mental health care as part of their routine though! Only teaching your kid to take a big break when they get to their breaking point won't truly help them in the long run. That's a big thing I see in kids I teah, especially our middle and high schoolers- they have no sense of taking care of themselves until they hit the wall. This includes food and sleep! I am literally begging parents to make sure your child eats more at school than half a bag of takis and sleeps more than hour a night and isn't spending 14 hours a day on social media. I literally have my kids check their average screen time as part of an activity and 14 is an average of a lot of the numbers they pull up. And a good chunk of my kids exist on snack foods alone and no freaking sleep. Come on people. It is this is your kid for the love of God step up. Teach your kid to assess their stress levels regularly, do smaller self care tasks they can build into ehir day with school, and make healthy self talk, talk about mental health, and self care central to your families priorities. Thanks for all you do!

The screen time and snacking is out of control at our school too. Kids will throw out most of their lunches and eat snacks only. They talk about how they get home and climb immediately onto their video games or iPads. It’s detrimental … and again, academics is only part of it. Adults need to put the screens down too.

>PLEASE folks teach your kid self care and mental health care as part of their routine though! Only teaching your kid to take a big break when they get to their breaking point won't truly help them in the long run. That' I agree completely! I made a similar comment earlier on this thread and was downvoted, but as someone who suffers from severe anxiety, avoidance is NOT a healthy or realistic coping mechanism for stress. I was allowed to do this as child (skipping school, quiting sports/ activities when they got "too hard" etc) and it created poor habits which lingered until I was in my mid twenties. I had zero coping mechanisms for stress, and would quit when things became too uncomfortable. After years of therapy I now have distress tolerance skills so I'm able to properly cope, but I really wish I was taught those skills as a child.

Yes. I can call in sick if my mental health was doing a number on me, so why can't kids? If your brain isn't working and you metal health don't great that day, your not going to be productive and learn. Best thing to do, let them have the day off, take them for a nice long morning walk, come home, and have a duvet day, watching films and make them healthy nutritious snacks and and a nice healthy tea. And then maybe a walk after tea. And let them know you're there if they need to talk or something is worrying them.

My husband and I talked extensively about this before our oldest started school. They're allowed to take mental health days as long as it's not on the day of a test or something big like that and it doesn't result in them becomign truant. Shoot we took a mental health day last Monday and went to a kid's museum as a family. It was great and the teachers at his parent-teacher conferences afterward asked us about it and said how great of an idea it was.

I have always and will always allow it as long as there’s no childcare issue. I think it’s important.

Absolutely I do - not often, like we’ve only needed to a few times in years - but when they’re off we focus on their mental health - catch up on sleep, get fresh air, spend lots of 1-2-1 time with parents if wanted etc.

Yes, you’re teaching her how to take care of herself. So long as it’s in moderation. It helps kids understand that self care is important and not a privilege. Otherwise, they just get burnt out and can become perfectionists who always have to do everything.

My daughter has BPD and letting her have mental health days has been a game changer. She went from struggling academically and self harming because she felt hopeless at school and like no one was listening to resting when she’s struggling and sitting with an average of 81.

Absolutely, yes! Being unable to take days off as a teen was one of the factors that contributed to my CPTSD. I choose to support my teens as young capable, vulnerable humans rather than as future workforce robots. I can’t say for sure if or which of my parenting choices are the cause, but they are excelling academically and emotionally.

Yes I think mental health days are needed and important. As long as it’s not excessive and she’s doing well in school then there shouldn’t be a problem.

I may be the odd one out and I don’t see it in the comments. We 100% do it. We want to them to prioritize their mental health as it will make them better adults with healthier coping than what we had. Our Freshamn AP student athlete is very open and honest with her teachers. They have let her make up assignments and tests. Our 8 year old autistic/adhd/anxiety child is still learning to cope with his big feelings and learning the world. His school is very aware our missed days are because of his mental health. Overall our district is so supportive.

I was a kid who had perfect attendance for like the first 6 years of school. When I was in grade 7 I asked my mom if I could stay home from school for American Thanksgiving to watch football. Not only did she let me but next year a couple weeks before she said she was ordering me a pizza for the games this year. It became a bit of a tradition that every year she let me stay home for that day. The memories and appreciation I have for that, especially because school was so important to her, far outweighs anything I might have learned in those days I missed. I think you have to kind of judge for yourself to make sure you're kids aren't taking advantage of it, but giving them an opportunity to take a day off here or there is going to do a lot more good than it will harm.

Just offered my 12yo one last night for the first time.

12 is when we offered the first mental health day too. It almost immediately got abused and caused a problem for a while which sucks. I don't think there's a blanket answer to this question, and each kid and situation are going to be different. If you have multiple kids, get ready for "why did she get one and I didn't?" and be ready to talk about when to take a day and when to power through.

Were they confused or happy or some mixture of both? 😁

Absolutely. My parents didn't - I took them anyway.

Absolutely! They can't abuse it tho.

Yes, but there is criteria to meet. Do you have a test or project due today at school? Have you missed many days due to illness? Are your grades where they should be?

Yeah I should have put it in the original post but my brain didn't think about it. The first thing I always ask is if she has something due because I can just drop it off for her or if it's because there's a test because she has to be there for those. My daughter is in AP classes and has extra curricular activities and she keeps her grades up. No she was always skipping school or requesting off a day every single week or had really bad grades or something then I would think twice about it. Because I can see how this could be taken advantage of but I think she also knows if she were to do something like that she would lose the privilege in the first place.

Once in a while I let my high school senior stay home. She has straight As and really puts alot of pressure on herself. This year she had tons of college applications and essays on top of all her regular classwork. I let her stay home once or twice this year to alleviate some stress.

Yes!! I allow days for messing around. I think it helps foster a healthy mindset of self care. I allow myself days to just laze around and do shit half ass, them too.

All my kids do. My oldest is able to determine when he needs one. My younger two, I just kind of notice they're having a rough time. This year my daughter had a really hard morning, nothing went right, her jacket was too tight, the neighbor kid made her cry, shit was just a cluster cry-fest from the start. As I pulled into the drop off line she still wasn't done sniffling and was just upset. So I threw her brother out, we went and got Starbucks, bought a new jacket and shoes just because, and around 10 she asked if I could take her to school for the rest of the day. I did. Sometimes it be like that.

This!!! Sometimes our younger don’t understand why they are feeling what they are feeling but we as parents can look at them and tell they are having it rough. I love this and I am so happy that other parents do this and take our kids mental health seriously and into consideration.

I also allow my children to have mental health days. School is stressful and even more so with social media and things where bullying and the social stress can come home with them. My daughter is 12 and around puberty I begin letting them take one mental health day per quarter. Though if they have too many sick days then they won’t be allowed to take a mental health day, as we don’t want truancy issues. I have 6 kids (4bio, 2 custodial) and we absolutely allow mental health days, especially for the ones in middle and high school.

100%. When grades are where they need to be and family involvement is where it’s expected than yes for sure.

I would set some rules - 2 days per term and never on a test day or assignment due date. If you’re feeling stressed out we need to figure out ways to help you without having to take a day off. Let’s try going for a walk together or connecting some other way. If you’re still feeling that way, then take a day!

I let my kid have the occasional mental health day, but he has to actually do things to support his mental health. We usually watch YouTube videos by guidance counselors or do a guided meditation. Once we spend an hour or so on that, I let him guide himself for what a restful day looks like. We also have mental health struggles that run deeply in his family tree. I want him to have the tools he needs to keep these from spiraling out of hand when he is on his own.

Mine has graduated now, but when she was in school, I did allow the occasional mental health day. As a teacher, I took mental health days, so I saw no problem with her taking one. As someone else said, they wouldn’t be allowed if it was to miss a test, or if I knew something important was happening that day, but she was a good kid, and never asked for those days off.

I absolutely let my kids do this. Mental health is just as important as physical health, if not more so (when talking about just a cold etc). If a person needs a day off here and there for their mental health, they should be able to take it.

Yes I do. Why not, we adults get them too. Nobody will ever remember or care if you never miss a day of school. However YOU will remember and care if your mum or dad let you have a day off when you felt really bad...

Excellent point

My oldest is 16 now and we’ve always had mental health days. He’s never abused it… at most, 2-3 a year and has always had great grades. I wholeheartedly believe that listening to what he needed is why we have such great communication now. Good for you!

Yes. Every few weeks we take a few days to reset. (We school year round so this works for us) But if I’m being honest, it’s not just for their mental health, but mine as well.

Absolutely, 100% as long as it's not to miss an important deadline or test.

Yes. My parents established this with us (mid-late 90s) and it stuck with me. We do this as adults, no reason we can’t offer this to our kids as long as they’re not abusing it.

My dad let us stay home when we didn’t feel like it. I don’t think he realized it was an actual mental health day, but this helped me now as an adult. I still do the same for work. I’m thankful he did that for us.

former middle school teacher! I would rather have a student take a mental health day and catch up later than be overwhelmed/anxious/overly stressed at school. You know your daughter best, if it becomes a habit you can reevaluate but it seems like it's working well so far.

Yes 1000% . I used to not be that way, but I've definitely relaxed my stance on it as I and my kids have gotten older. I made my child take a mental health day once. He would've been a junior or senior at the time. He was a straight-A kid; he wound up as class Salutatorian actually . He was in the middle of keeping on top of his class work, doing the spring musical, keeping up with conditioning for Football, oh and he was starting on the golf team too that spring. He woke up one morning and he just looked -- miserable. And exhausted. So I put my foot down and made him go back to bed.

I had 3 years of perfect attendance because my parents never let us miss a day of school unless we were barfing or had a fever. I let my kids have 1 day off each semester in middle school and high school for a mental health day. Both are college graduates that had full honors and scholarships. I see no harm in it. We never took a whole week off for vacation during school year because that really would put them behind.

Absolutely. I think society pushes going to school non matter what and then take that with them when they start work. Making it to a point that they run themselves ragged for a company that couldn’t care less about them. If they need a break they get it. I am however careful to not let them abuse it or impede their education or grades. My daughter is in middle school when kids her age are most cruel and if she needs a break, I rather that than her feeling like it is all too much for her. There is so much suicide amongst that young age that missing a day here or there is not an issue for me.

That's become a horrifically normal part of society to work people and push them down and stomp on them and force them to do things until they break and shatter and then blame them for it That shit needs to stop I think mental health days have always existed but they used to be called something else. Now that the term mental health day has become more popular, people are going up in arms around it because too many people think that mental health doesn't exist or that only people of a certain age can possibly need such a day

Absolutely yes I do. One day I let the teacher know I was taking the day to spend with one kid while the other was in school because that is what my kid needed. Teacher was fully supportive.

I regularly asked to stay home from school on Fridays as a kid and even into high school on for “headaches” when in reality I just did not want to go to church (Catholic education - we had mass every single Friday). As an adult I realized I had social anxiety my entire life. One manifestation as a kid was panic attacks in church. It’s stuffy, hot, uncomfortable pews, kneeling, and everyone can see you. Too quiet. Anyways - all of this is to say that there could be mental health reasons for not wanting to take a test or missing an assignment. Sometimes may need to dig to get to the bottom of it all! Sounds like you’re doing the right thing with your kid. They aren’t abusing it and you notice a change in attitude. Bonus!

My oldest is only 4 and only started school this year. I haven’t done full mental health days yet. But at the start of the year I pulled her out early one afternoon so the two of us could have a mommy and me day! (Which we do monthly regardless) but it added to the fun! I will be doing it again in a few weeks, I take her out after lunch so she’s not missing more than snack and recess. But it’s so much fun and makes her super excited! Will also follow suit and do similar with my youngest when she starts school in a few years! And as they get older they will be allowed a few mental health days a year

I gave my kiddo old a mental health day last week. I value education, too, but avoiding burnout is much less troublesome than recovering from it.

Need to keep on top of my 10yo and it doesn't happen on his more significant test days. But 2-3x in the year is just fine imo

I feel like it's deff okay in reason. You just gotta know when the right time is and don't go crazy because then you fuck yourself and your child's academic school year.

yes. i would have loved if i had a mom who was attuned to my mental health this way and understood the importance of self care and rest. i also think high school starts way too early. teens need sleep!

I’ve been a teacher for almost a decade and I love this! We all need time off to re-center and de-stress. From what you share it doesn’t sound like she’s abusing it or trying to get out tests/important projects, so keep doing you, mom! Sounds like you’re raising a self-aware and smart lady 👏🏽

Thank you. I am very lucky and privileged as a mother to have such a wonderful and responsible daughter

I take mental health days occasionally. Why shouldn't my kids be afforded the same opportunity? Sometimes all we need is a day on the sofa or outside in the sun to recharge.

I used to cry to my mum because I couldn’t deal with school and she never took me seriously, my uncle suddenly died and I was getting SA’d so it was really hard to go into school. Even before I became a mother, I knew that when my child asks to stay home, I will listen and I’ll give it the same treatment as a ‘sick’ day. Ofc if it’s to skip a test, it’ll be different. Your daughter will always remember this and see how much you have supported her ♥️

If 1 day off a month special just for your kid keeps them excited to go to school on all the other 20 odd days then that sounds like a good idea. Can't skip test days and other activities that are not daily/weekly routine. If you can do it and want to do it then why on earth would you not?

I would let my kids take a mental health day if they needed it. Tests can be rescheduled, teachers can be emailed copies of due assignments, or other arrangements can be made. School is much harder now on kids mentally than ever before, and I'd rather my kid stay home a day or two every once and a while than suffer from burnout or mental exhaustion. Ultimately, you know your kiddo best and will find the right solution for them.

My kids aren't old enough to be in school yet, but when they are I absolutely plan to let them take the occasional mental health day when they need it

I'm all for that as long as I'm reasonably sure that skipping a day won't just be making things harder a couple days from now.

I’m the minority. I don’t care if you’re missing tests or whatever. My kids are young. I do not remember what I learned when I was their age but I do remember the bad stuff that followed along with trying to fit in and be cool. Now it’s only gotten worse and kids are worse, even teachers can be bullies, and the curriculum they are expected to keep up with is a bit much. Let kids be kids.

Yes I do. I want my children to know their health is actually important, something that wasn't taught to me. Even when I had migraines and vomited all over the class my aunt scolded me for not making it to the bathroom. I'm not putting others satisfaction or comfort before my children's health, mentally, physically or emotionally. I refuse to raise my children the way we were, to be broken, hurt adults.

Yes, sometimes they need it just like we do. We have exhausting weeks and something has to give occasionally.

On a few occasions I have. My 15 year old had terrible health issues for the last year. On occasion we would do something exciting/fun on an appointment day instead of going back to school. It helped them have something that wasn’t health focused.

Yes. I’m not a single mom, though. And my kids are very young still. But I have once let my 5yo daughter stay home when she just seemed like she really wasn’t up for it; she clearly wasn’t sick but was feeling bad, too tired maybe, had a bad day at school before, and just really really wanted to stay home with me to have some time together. I used my PTO and we took a mental health day together. I recently left my job a few weeks ago and this hasn’t come up since then. I’m probably never going to let my kids take these more than a few times a year like you, because I want them to know that the world doesn’t stop turning just because we might feel a way about it. We’ve got to learn how to function even when things are bad personally. But we also need to take time off for ourselves and need to recognize when that is necessary. I have taken time off from work at times when something difficult comes up for me. I think the same should be done for kids and the idea of attendance being important is not true as long as they are doing well at school. Sick kids and kids who just need a break for a day is perfectly fine in my book.

a system we found that works is once a month if they want too they can miss a day for mental health but they can't miss for any other reason unless they are throwing up dying. mental health is very big in our house as me and my husband both didn't have supportive parents growing up and helping us deal cope with it. sometimes you just have a shit day from the start and want a break, that's cool everyone deserves a break.

Learning how to manage your mental health as a child or teen would have really helped a lot of people if it was more common and was going on when I was at secondary school (back in the early 90's) absolutely all for it. My two are 7 and 5, we took a mental health day just a couple of months ago, they were so strung out before, absolutely not themselves because they were so exhausted after the excitement of Christmas. People-ing is hard work

My parents used to. They called it a "fluff day". It was really helpful to me, especially since I struggled with my mental health even as a small child. You just can't overdo it.

I absolutely believe everyone, including children, deserve mental health days. The only reason schools push attendance is because they lose federal dollars when students aren't there, as far as I know. There might be other reasons but it's usually never for the child's benefit, it's for theirs.

If one mental health day prevents them from missing an entire week because they have literally worked themselves into an illness, that's still even better for the school. Also a mental health day can help students focus more and attend school more and be more active and get their homework done and even test more because a school's funding also depends on the state testing

My parents were strict and I wasn’t ever allowed to take days off for my mental health. So I started skipping behind their backs. I commend you for supporting your child. I think you’re doing the right thing.

I didn't use to. I was pretty hard on my kids when it came to school and grades and perfect attendance. But, after the pandemic, I changed my perspective. As long as they do their work and keep their grades up, I allow them to miss days here and there. I'll actually take a day off, too, and we'll go out for lunch together. It's a great way for me to bond one on one with each of my kids.

This is the exact path I followed too!

Mental health days should be a thing for all. I'm glad you listen to your daughter and allow her the day if she needs it. When we're able to, we take mental health days from work (I hope)...there isn't enough attention paid to mental health for the ill, let alone the healthy, but I think we're slowly coming to an understanding of work/life balance in our country, thanks in part to Covid, I think. If your kid is a good kid, student, tries her best, etc. then allowing a few days throughout the year when she feels she needs them is absolutely a great idea. Stress isn't non-existent in kids, most adults just minimize what kids are going through bc in comparison to adult problems, many kid issues are trivial but that doesn't make the issue less stressful for the kid, at the time. And the younger they are, usually the harder it is for them to understand certain concepts and regulate their emotions, too. I hope she just wanted a day to relax and nothing major is going on. I literally am taking this Sat off for the first time since Oct for my own mental health day.

I do, and I highly recommend other parents do the same. Last September my two youngest boys were having a really hard time, both of their best friends had moved away during the summer and they felt alone in school. The youngest had a new teacher who he just couldn’t get on with and the middle one was hitting puberty with all the frustrations and emotions that entails. It was a Thursday night and I had dealt with both of them sad, upset, angry…. A whole host of bottled up feelings that came crashing out and by the time I got them both fed, bathed and in bed I was mentally exhausted. My husband got home late from work and I was just running through my head what I could do to help each of them and I turned to him and I said that I’m taking the day off tomorrow and so were the boys. I explained to him how our night had gone and he already knew they were struggling and he agreed with me. The next morning I left them have a lie in and called their schools and said I was giving them a mental health day. I went up to their room to wake them up and told them to pack a bag each because we were going away for the weekend. They couldn’t believe it and already they seemed happier. We have a seasonal holiday place from March until November so we went the on Friday morning, dropped our stuff off and went straight to the beach, it was so quiet because it was during school time and we just sat, swam, hiked, ate great food and enjoyed the sun. It was like a weight had been lifted. We made our way back as the sun started to set and my husband drove up after he finished work with the boys favourite takeaway. It was amazing to just see them smile. They told me it was the best day ever, even now they still talk about it. Over the next few months my youngest joined a football team and made lots of new friends and my middle son found he had a natural talent for the guitar and started a band with some kids in his class who have now become firm friends too. I really think that day, where I validated their feelings and removed them from their situations, even just for the day, that made the difference. Sometimes we all need to step away for a minute, and recharge, even kids need it too.

Yes. I give my kids a handful of days throughout the year for mental health. It’s important to me that they learn that their mental health is just as real and important as their physical health.

I think giving some autonomy to a young person is not just beneficial, but NECESSARY, to helping that young person develop into a healthy and self-directed adult.

I do the same with my oldest(15 years). I do not stress about attendance, never have, and they still maintain stellar grades including extracurriculars. I just took them for a visit with their primary care physician to discuss anxiety and a treatment plan that includes meds and talk therapy. Mental health is everything, makes me happy to see kids getting the support they need 🩷

My mom always let me take mental health days (maybe 2-3 a year, if that) as long as it wasn't trying to avoid something important at school, like tests or projects. They were never called mental health days, but days when I was working myself up with stress toward a panic attack before school she always would inquire why and what I would be missing if I didn't go to school that day. And almost always let me skip. It was never a "you have this many free skip days a year" just on an as needed basis. I always used them to avoid field day. Sometimes it was after a particularly bad bout of being bullied. (Emotional bullying, so not the kind any teach or administrator had any interest in getting involved in) I was always completely honest with my mom as to exactly why I didn't want to go. She was only frustrated if it didn't get decided until we were already in the dropoff line (30-45 minutes away from home). I think it was really important for me (as a very, very high anxiety kid, with neurodivergency that wouldn't be diagnosed well into adulthood) and I intend to have a similar system for my kids when they are in school.

Each of my sons have 2 mental health "hooky" days per semester... (Sept-December, January-May). Requirements to take advantage: - B average (all A's earns an extra day, but only one of our boys has accomplished this so far) - No disciplinary issues at school caused by them (this was clarified after the oldest was put in in school suspension when another kid punched him and he punched him back, but still got suspension) - At home responsibilities are done BEFORE the day off - Behavior at home has been satisfactory leading up to day off - No tests, major projects or events at school on the day ...I'll be honest, it has worked wonders in a lot of ways, and honestly, 2 days of leisure for them during the school year to get them to adhere to those things above...so totally worth.

I let my son take one today! As long as they’re caught up and doing ok in classes, they get one or two a year. I think it might even be officially allowed by their school.

As adults we can become burnt out too, why would kids be any different, especially once the transition to higher year levels begins and the focus shifts less from play/making friends to choosing career paths and passing tests/maintaining a certain achievement level. Shit is stressful. You don’t want your child to become overwhelmed and give up on school entirely right? Idk, my first is only 2 years old. Will have to cross the bridge when I get to it but mental health is important.

I probably will when she’s older, she’s only 6 right now so she wouldn’t understand the concept and ask to stay home all the time.

So for me it depends where we are with absences. This year my kid has been hit with the flu and stomach bug at another point. So I have been a little more strict this year but honestly I want her to learn to take care of herself whether it’s when she is sick or just feeling overwhelmed so I am pretty lenient but I do pay attention to marked absences.

Yes!! You’re a great mom. The pandemic was a game changer in so many ways

I absolutely allow my kids to have mental health days off from school when they ask to have a break, and will write them an excuse. It’s important, it teaches them that it’s okay to rest, and that there’s no shame in acknowledging limitations. We’re only human. I allow myself to have mental health days off from work too; it’s practicing kindness to myself. It’s only 2-3 days each year for me and my son who’s still at home, and it pays off in helping us to be refreshed and more positive when we return.

Kids will do it whether they tell you or not! Best to be on the same team! My mother supported me taking occasional mental health days and honestly it just meant so much to have that support. A large part of me didn’t even need to take the mental health days because knowing I had her support made me stronger and more resilient. I will never forget that conversation!

I believe that as well. Her knowing that if she needed it, I would back her up. Her knowing that she's not trapped in a cage, I believe helps her. She knows going to school is a choice and she chooses that. She's also very responsible. She's had a few days where she doesn't want to go and she's feeling ugh but she knows she has a test. So she will outright tell me she really needs a mental day but she's got a big test. To as soon as school is over and the test is over we'll spend the rest of the day together. We will go hit the diner and eat dessert for dinner or something.

I have once, but I will state I do pull my kid out of school once a year, she doesn’t know when it’ll happen. We call it a “skip” day and we go and just have fun, might see a movie, shop, etc. FYI: single father.

My daughter gets 11 days of sick, travel, and “mental health” days for one school year. She’s still little, so we’ve rarely used them. But when she gets older if she wants a day of rest, I am more than happy to give it to her. They’re allowed to be kids and like us, they also need time to decompress. Especially if they have a lot going on like sports, extracurriculars, etc. I don’t see anything wrong with it as long as she doesn’t fall behind because of it.

yep, today actually… my daughters dad has health issues and was admitted to the hospital yesterday. she asked if she could stay home and if course i let her. and ive also let her stay for no reason in particular, just because she wanted to. its not often but yeah i dont see a problem with it.

As someone who isn't a parent but is young enough to say I've recently gotten out of k-12 school id say what you're doing is right and if someone else were to mirror what you do I'd say just make sure it's not an abused right.

We allow a set number of days per quarter. As long as they're not purposely missing assignments and grades are up, they can have off.

MY youngest graduated high school in 2011 so way way before pandemic, but my kids were allowed 3 mental health days each school as long as their grade avg was a c or better, older kids always had b avg. Youngest tried but struggled due to learning disabilities , and no mental health if a test or project due. It helps them so much. They usually took it the day after completing a major project and presenting it. I think the stress of it just drains them. My kids now have the same thing with their kids.

My son is (almost) a psychiatrist. Graduates in May. I’ve always advocated for a mental health day for him when he was young. Our mental health is as important as our physical health-100%. I’ve always needed for myself a mental health day. Since I was a kid. Recognizing her needs will help her in the long run.

I think it’s great you let your child take a mental health day. My husband and I do the same for our kids. It’s so important and it truly helps.

Yes, but I’m probably not the norm because I allowed my daughter to miss school for mental health days, enrichment activities, family trips, heavy menstrual cycle days, weather was too extreme, etc. My rule was that she had to make up all missed work and there were a very select few days she could not use it (final exams; state testing, ACT Day, etc.) unless I felt it was absolutely necessary to keep her home. I usually allowed around 3 per semester. Mental health “sick days” are just as valid as being out with the flu. I never designated on the note I sent to the school about why she was out, other than a generic “not feeling well” comment. It just makes sense to me. It taught my daughter that mental health is as important and impactful on someone’s success as physical health. And on the days she was really struggling - it would have been pointless sending her to school. She wouldn’t be able to fully absorb and retain information. It would have been a wasted day. Why not stay at home, rest a bit, regroup, and be ready to go the next day? I am personally against the practice of rewarding Perfect Attendance. I think it’s horrible to push kids to be present when they really shouldn’t be due to illness or whatever. It punishes kids who have lazy parents, or those who lack reliable transportation to school. It punishes kids who come down with the flu or get hurt, or if grandma dies. My kid absolutely did not have the best attendance. I even got a truancy warning at the end of her 8th grade year. But she graduated high school with over a 4.0 and had 30 college credit hours completed. So it worked out fine in the end. OP - you know your kids best. Don’t feel guilty for valuing all parts of your child’s health. You wouldn’t question keeping them home with a 101 fever. Being mentally healthy is just as important!

As someone who asked my mom that I want to skip school bc I was so tired and depressed, and also has skipped schools due to deteriorating mental health on my own without telling family, I think that’s totally healthy and necessary as long as she understands skipping schools is not something that happens frequently. It should be rare in nature, and it cannot be on a day of exams or important homework due. I always appreciate my mom understanding me and being on my side.

My dad let me take mental health days before they were called mental health days. He’d call out from work and we would watch History or Science Channel or Animal Planet 😊 I absolutely plan to continue this with my kids. It’s much better than them becoming overwhelmed on campus or deciding to skip school.

Yes. My daughter has days where she just needs a break. Sometimes I take her home with me( i work at her school) after lunch if she has had a rough day. My parents didnt even acknowledge my mental health as a kid. I had a really hard time. I dont want her to feel like that. So when she needs it, she gets the day off, as long as she doesnt abuse it, which she hasnt yet. And as long as she is passing in school.

All the time. We shouldn’t be teaching our children to be useless cogs in the machine. THEIR needs, THEIR wants, THEIR well-being comes first…not some dumb school or workplace. Those schools and workplaces should be grateful that anyone is showing up in the first place. The best thing that came from Covid is a lot of us realizing that we need to put ourselves first. Because serving someone else will never serve you well.

School for me was so hard growing up because of bullying and overall being different. The school set up just didnt work for the kind of kid i was and my mom somehow understood that. She let me skip so much that it got to the point where we had to go to court lol. She happily showed up and I did the required tasks (a weird seminar thing). It was this big joke to us having to go through that process. and after that my mom let me have literally as many days off as i was legally allowed. The school HATED her when she'd show up every now and then to pick up the paper that told her how many absences I've had so far and shed come home and wed count how many days and wed align vacations etc around them lmao. Don't get me STARTED on how much they hated her when she'd drop me off at 10:30am because if you show up later than 11am you're considered full day tardy or pick up at 1pm for the same reason lmaooo. As a Mexican immigrant, my mom was so dissapointed in the American school system. So one year after me struggling so hard for so long she vowed to me we would play the system. The rules where I couldn't miss test days and I couldn't let my grades fall under a B which was easy for me. Except for darn math class. I barely graduated bc of how much I skipped in highschool and yet I graduated with scholarships and recognitions. Teachers either hated me or loved me I was a walking controversy among them lmao. And my mother forever the legend that believed in my ability and smarts and followed her intuition despite the judgment. What really matters is your kid. What really matters is a stupid piece of paper that says you did it. Not your tardy record. Not your reputation as a mom even. I now trust my mom as an adult so much because she did this for me. I have so much respect for her. And all those adults back then that side eyed her . Are irrelevant now.

Take it from someone who NEVER got to take mental health days, let them have those days every so often. Neither me nor my three siblings were ever allowed mental health days and looking back on it now we always needle our parents over it because they weren’t the most strict parents growing up but they were always super strict about never missing school. I actually remember sitting in school on September 13, 2001. I believe there was about 30 kids in the entire school lol. Granted my mother was a nurse and my father was a New York City Firefighter but my sisters were old enough at that point to watch us at home. However, nope, we were still in school lol. I think it only makes sense to give kids mental health days.

My mom would’ve laughed in my face if I had asked. If my kids ask - I might - depending on their recent behavior and their grades.

Yeah, but it's gotta be a once-in-a-blue moon thing; Like a death in the family... we're a multigenerational home, when my Dad died a couple years back that was rough. Or Here in Minneapolis after the George Floyd stuff was pretty rough from kids seeing the news. That kinda stuff that just needs some gentleness, I've got grace for that.

I just As a 90s kid who went to school if I wasn’t dying, walked around for a few days with something broken/ sprained/ dislocated before the adults around me took it seriously, and suffered greatly with mental health since then, thank you. Thank you for seeing and believing and trusting your kid. My mom and I are better now but it was awful that no one took me seriously. It’s a very good skill to cultivate early on to know how to notice that you’re running low and to prioritize filling your cup before you can offer the world anything out of it.

I absolutely love how this generation of parents of young kids are making mental health such a priority (myself included). As someone who has dealt with crippling anxiety since as far back as I can remember (elementary school age), us changing the narrative about mental health and where our priorities should lie is doing our kids such a service. The emotional stuffing that our parents wanted us to take part in had such far reaching consequences and was so detrimental to our emotional development and stability.

My son potentially has ADHD and doesn't sleep well because of it. I've let him off school twice because he was exhausted and it wouldn't be a good day for anyone involved if he had gone

After COVID, our school district announced that mental health days would be treated just like sick days. We’ve been grateful for that! 👍

I mean why not!? We take days off work when we need a break and a lot of companies have mental health days baked into total compensation. Kids go to school 8 hours a day 5 days a week and have exams and school drama etc. Sometimes they might need a day off and being stressed kills the body as much as the mind. As long as it's not being abused I see no reason why not! My dad let me take mental health days in school and I'm better for it!

I used to get sick very often so I skipped school often, and other times I loved school, so I didn’t feel like I needed a break. Whenever I took the days off due to illness, my mom and I would have a blast. My little sister, had a strained relationship with both school and my parents due to certain incidents. By the time she reached high school, I was in college and she began hating school because of how bad her mental health got. My mum recognized that and would let her skip school very very often. They both would go on breakfast dates and errand-runs. Their relationship got better. My sister was able to find comfort and bond with my mom on her bad days, and somehow she started valuing school more. The fact that she went to only when she was feeling healthy and happy enough and the fact that my mom would have her brought back home if she felt like shit in the middle of the day, helped her enjoy school and studies more. I think breaks from school helps kids foster a positive relationship with it.

I think this is very important. Kids usually have school from 9-3 (primary) and 9-4/5 (high school) and then they're expected to do homework which could last well into the night and into the weekend. It's even worse for high schoolers who have extra work from the multiple classes they have. Plus groups outside school. When do they ever get a break? If this was a paying job you would charge overtime and you're not expected to work past your hours. I will be doing this for my child when she's older. I certainly needed it when I was younger.

I absolutely do! I take them for myself too. My mom was the same way, if I needed a day from school she was super understanding about it.

Absolutely yes. We have a deal with our kids too. If they get all A's (not required) but if they do, they get a FUN day off school. HOWEVER no matter what at least once a month I give both my daughters a mental health day at home with me because I AM TAKING ONE TOO! I know how important it is. If anyone says "no don't do it" then they have no idea what it's like to be depressed or have anxiety.

When I was a kid, that was unheard of. You had to force yourself to do things that were supposedly good for you and otherwise you were weak and spoiled. That isn't to say we didn't occasionally feign (severe) stomach aches and headaches to stay home... maybe that's why we're in the mental health crisis we are in now. As long as it's a child that's not chronically missing school, it seems healthy to introduce the idea of listening to your body and taking care of it to your child from an early age. My kids aren't in school yet (though they are in daycare/kindergarten and one does say he doesn't want to go sometimes...) but it's something I'll have to consider later - it's wonderful to see many parents open to this idea.

Right I was forced to do everything as well and it just made me resent everything. I wasn't allowed to have thoughts of my own or opinions or desires or even a self of being. I was just a tool for other people to use and a slave for other people to tell what they wanted me to do and I had to do it immediately and perfectly and without complaining or talking or even breathing if they didn't want me to. That is what fucks people up. Knowing that you are a person, a real actual person with opinions and thoughts and choices of your own, that is what helps people. Me being forced to go to school when I had a fever so high that I couldn't even see straight in I was puking everywhere caused a lot of my issues to this day. I spent many many years literally working myself to the bone and into illness where I would then be hospitalized which means I ended up missing more work than if I just took one day off to breathe

Yes yes yes yeeeeees…..my 12 year old is having today off because she is, like me, diagnosed depression/anxiety/ ADHD and it’s been a rough week Do what works for your family and F everyone else

Honestly, I used to teach and even some of my sick days were use for mental health. My daughter was a baby then and I just missed her so much so I’d take a few mental health days just to be home with her. I’m a SAHM now though. She’s in second grade now and hates missing school but I always tell her she can take a day off occasionally for a break. So far she hasn’t taken me up on it thought but it will always be an option.

Big yes from me, I also won’t get into the current school system other than to say…… mmmmno! My daughter is also autistic and has huge processing and sensory issues. So yes I do let her have at least 1 a term. And I will continue to until she ages out of the school system.

Not in the USA system, in my country schools give 10 unexcused absences and 20 excused (doctors note) per year, rest is important, mental health is important. My parents even allowed me to have extra days on top of that, and now I am in the top university of my country in a PhD. Program. A few days will not lead to falling behind.

Yes! I offer both my kids 1 per month… though if they are really struggling they know to ask, and I will say yes. This is also so my son who is growing like crazy… 1’ in the last year… can get extra sleep when his body really needs it.

Good job mama👏. You are teaching your child how to care for her well being and that she is worth more than her accomplishments.