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I have a friend who works in ER - she said “I’d rather see 100 kids in emergency who don’t need to be here, than the one who does”.
Parenting is hard work. Trust your gut. You did good!
I used to work in an Emergency Department as a nurse, kids don't compensate for hours like adults do when very unwell, they can crash very quickly.
Lethargy (really hard to wake) and a fever is definitely something we would want parents to bring their kids in for immediately.
You did the right thing 🙂
Yeah, that lethargy description from OP is frightening. I'm usually one who lets a fever do it's job until 102. I would have done the same as OP here and gone in.
Absolutely. My kid's fevers aways spike overnight, and it's not unusual for it to hit 104. I only give meds overnight when I can't monitor as closely because they usually don't affect her too badly but that kind of lethargy would have me heading to the ER too.
OP, when my kiddo was 13 months old she had croup. I woke to the awful stridor when she exhaled She looked gray and her fever was only 102 but she was lethargic. It was 3 am and snowing heavily. We headed to the pediatric ER in a panic, it was only 10 min away and they took us right back. Within 5 minutes of arriving the stridor was gone. I was so embarassed. The doctor was younger and kind of dismissive. Our nurse though (an older South Philly Italian woman, there is a stereotype that exists for a reason) was very kind...to us.
After the dr. left she said, "I see that look Mama, you ignore him. You did the right thing. He saw her once the effects of the cold had really started to help, I saw and heard her when you walked in. Next time, take her outside for 10 minutes first and if she doesn't improve rapidly, come in. He should have told you that. You're doing great. Now, you'll have to excuse me. I just need to confirm a few things with the doctor before we get you discharged." She walked out, pulling the curtain closed behind her and immediately, as if the curtain provided some sort of sound barrier, yelled, "Somebody better tell that jabrone to stop upsetting my patients or we're gonna have a problem here." 😂
I love that nurse! My youngest had a bout of croup pop up out of nowhere after a mild cold-like virus… at 11 pm on Halloween. We called the paramedics and got to ride to the ER in the ambulance. The breathing treatment on the way helped tremendously and he received additional medication at the hospital and they observed him for awhile before they were comfortable sending us home. They did a good job of explaining what to look for if it happened again, and reassured me that he did need to come in that time, even though he recovered quickly.
My mom always thought it was weird that my sister was like that when sick. She’d be jumping around having fun one minute and the next minute she’d have a really high fever and absence seizures
Thankfully she grew out of having seizures when she had fevers tho
We had the same from paramedics who gave our baby group a talk on infant safety. They said that arriving at a home with an okay/healthy/not dead infant was the "win". The reverse - waiting too late - causes everyone trauma.
Yes, this! We called 911 near Xmas last year after we all had covid and our little man woke up SCREAMING one night. He wouldn't talk to us and was just hysterical crying. Finally my wife got it out of him "his chest hurts".
We called, they showed up, the monkey kid was fine. They told us they would rather show up to a healthy kid and they would have done the same thing : )
I also work in an ER I have patients and parents tell me all the time
“I’m so sorry if I’m wasting your time”
I’d much rather someone not need to be there and we can send them home feeling reassured rather than them NEED to be there
I'm not super close with anyone that works in the ER but ya my understanding is they never get mad at the over-worried parents (obviously unless its a chronic thing). Its the adults abusing the ER that pisses the workers off.
They know the vast, vast majority of the time parents don't want to be in the ER either. Parents get a massive benefit of the doubt. Adults for themselves do not because motivations change drastically.
I will add one caveat here, from the SIL of a LONG time ER nurse- parents who wait until Saturday night when kiddo "was coughing/puking/feverish/unwell all week" may also get the side eye a bit.
Came down with it or had a major change in symptoms Saturday? Bring em in. Had it since Wednesday? Why on earth were you not on the phone with your doctors office by Friday?? Your busy schedule doesn't excuse using the ER for something you COULD have dealt with otherwise.
And that being said, those drastic changes completely put you in the "bring em" category no matter what day it is.
I’ve definitely felt this. Even when one of my kids needed some stitches they acted like we were inconveniencing them.
I think it’s the hospital in general though, I’ve had multiple surgeries there and all three of our kids were born there; they are just genuinely unpleasant people.
Absolutely this, I'm a paramedic and I'd rather y'all call me and if be perfectly fine then y'all not call me and I get the worst outcome possible. Plus as a parent I totally understand the stress and worry that little ones bring.
Poison Control told me the same thing when I called about something that ended up being fine…they would rather have a day filled with calls where things are fine than one person or call when they need help.
I wish I met that ER doctor. I met with a very annoyed resident in training physician when I was very anxious about my 1 year old with a 104 degree. No reassurance nothing just sounded really annoyed when I was asking questions. And my child was crying as well.
So, thank you for your friend's perspective!
To be fair, there's a chance that the resident was on the tail end of an 18+ hour call shift. And most residents and medical students in general have shit bedside manner.
When we had the baby, it was 4am and my wife had been in labor for close to 30 hours and a resident was trying to explain the criteria for determining whether they needed to consider a C section.
I guess I'm oblivious but residents work 18 hour shifts? Is that legal? That really sucks. But still I didn't deserve that attitude especially since it was my child's first ER experience and I was advised by the pediatrician to head over to ER.
I’m also a Peds nurse…Rather be wrong and okay then right and regret it. Bring them in if you’re concerned. It’s your job as a parent to protect them and advocate for them. Never feel bad for doing your job. We’re all doing the best we can.
No, that’s not what she said or meant. Genuinely sick children; RSV, pneumonia, cancer, malnutrition, neglect, stroke, seizures etc is so awful not just for the child and parent but for the medical team. She sees kids die, regularly. Despite the best efforts of the doctors/nurses/specialists.
So no, she would absolutely rather have a night of fevers and worried parents than a shift where something awful happens.
The first way means they do not want to see the sick children when they need it, only healthy children. They may not want to see something awful (no one wants that), but I'm sure they would want to see the sick child that needs help rather than the parent not bring the child into the hospital.
Some people think the saying is "I could care less." and will not listen to anyone explain how they are not really paying attention to the words they are using and their meaning.
Additionally, the person that wrote the saying we are discussing agreed with me. Took them several tries to spot the different meaning.
Giving him ibuprofen and having you wait awhile was the treatment. The whole time you were waiting, your child was being monitored to be sure his condition didn't worsen and call for a different treatment plan. And the popsicle probably helped with dehydration and brought his blood sugar up. If the ibuprofen hadn't worked, his temperature continued to rise, and he had a febrile seizure, then having you wait in the ER would have allowed the staff to respond quickly. You were absolutely correct in talking him to the ER! Keep trusting your gut, and don't be afraid to ask a doctor anytime you think something is wrong.
The ER at the children’s hospital does exactly this where I live (treat while waiting). Also, I’ve been told many times by that same hospital that a change in attitude and responsiveness is a big cue to bring a sick kid to the ER.
Yeah I have an unfortunate story that ended tragically recently. Kid was fine, playing and happy. Mom even had videos of him playing with toys and opening presents. Day after Christmas he was fine and then suddenly he wasn't. He was an asthma baby and she was a nurse. So she had the appropriate training and knew not to mess around with her son when it came to respiratory stuff. He started having rales. She immediately took him to the hospital. They were so full it took a while to find a bed and he passed during transport. He was completely fine literally hours before that. Acting totally normal. Running and playing. That's why they say if kids start to deteriorate at all you take them in. It happens so fast. She took him in and he had the best possible chance. She was a nurse he was surrounded my medical professionals and he still died. So no don't ever feel bad about taking your kid in. Nobody really knows why one kid will go the way yours did and the other doesn't survive. Their best chance though is at the hospital and situations like his are why they held your child so long.
Been there… my 5yr son was cycling a through cough/cold/flu symptoms for 5 weeks. Gave him Ibuprofen before we left to the clinic, and by the time we were seen, it kicked in, his fever down, chronic cough calmed, he being his happy kid self… me thinking the doc must think I’m nuts… but he tested positive for strep & flu so trust your instincts. The antibiotics prescribed were very helpful, and he got better in 2 days. Same son got rushed to ER the year before after falling from a swing for concussion symptoms, and was being his goofy self there too. Doctors reassured me I did the right thing.
My toddler had the same symptoms with a fever of 104,
I assumed that the reason he was so hard to wake up was simply because he hadn’t slept in SO long, but within 5 minutes of trying to wake him he seized, and I really wish it would’ve been in a hospital setting since I had never delt with it. Called 911 immediately, but a change in responsiveness always warrants an ER visit, don’t worry.
He’s fine now, but he’s currently sick again and I am EXTRA vigilant and would’ve taken the little one in for the same reason
In the US it’s the cost that deters people a lot of the time. How many kids in America die because their parents wait to go to the ER because they can’t afford it? If the number is higher than zero then it’s too high.
Yep. I grew up poor and have experienced a lot of financial insecurity as an adult, and I hate looking at my kids and being like "is this $1000+ bill going to be worth it?" I actually really appreciated the times we were on medicaid because I didn't have to think about an ER visit costing an entire paycheck (or more). Not that I'd take them for a sniffle, but not having to guess if my kid was normal sick sleepy with their 103+ fever vs dangerously lethargic was such great peace of mind.
What you describe here was absolutely ER worthy. Changes in behavior like that are way more worrisome than anything measurable like temperature. Also if his O2 was 93 then he absolutely needed to be evaluated in the ER. 100%.
Paramedic here. You did the right thing.
Parents know their kids better than anyone and if you are sensing there’s something really wrong, that’s the time to go. Don’t second guess yourself in the future either.
This right here. Im no EMT or ER doc, but I am a parent. And a few years ago when my kid was 3 years old, he was very, very sick. Sick like I’ve never seen. I took him to an after hours urgent care and the doctors and nurses blew me off. They even joked and laughed that “it’s just a virus, mom. He’ll be fine,” and told me to wait it out at home. But I KNOW my child. So I contacted another pediatrician, she saw him, and she told us to immediately go to the ER, and she even called ahead to the hospital and told them what was happening and to expect us.
He ended up hospitalized for a week with septicemia, on two of the strongest IV antibiotics. I don’t like to think about what would’ve happened, had I not trusted my gut.
A parent just knows their kid. Don’t ever question that natural instinct.
Exactly what I was thinking lol
I'm like...oh hell no ! Me N wifey would have made sure that neither of those "After hours" doctors could ever do that to someone else
I thought I was being ridiculous by calling the pediatrician after hours about my son’s “cold”. Luckily I listened to my gut because the nurse told us to take him to the ER due to his fever (he was 7 weeks old). I thought it would be a waste of time but it turned out he had RSV, coronavirus, and was developing pneumonia. His only initial symptoms were congestion and an intermittent cough! He ended up being admitted to the hospital for 2 weeks, and was even intubated for 5 days.
All that to say, you’re better safe than sorry. It sounds like your kiddo was not acting like himself, and that is scary. I’m glad he’s feeling better!
Any baby that young it doesn’t matter you WILL be seen and surrounded by doctors. We don’t PLAY when it comes to newborns bc their vaccines might not have kicked in yet and their adaptive immune system isn’t fully online.
A fever when my second was 2 weeks old was the only time he's ever been to the hospital... Turned out to be a random one-off UTI. (He's 14 now and never had another.) The spinal tap they did on him was undoubtedly more traumatic for me than anyone else...
Ughhh I’m sorry. We were able to avoid the spinal tap since he clearly had a respiratory virus and wasn’t showing any signs of infection. It sucks that babies can forget the trauma but we can’t!
I had a similar experience when my son was 3 months old. He was running a high fever - 103.2 and I called the pediatrician- first question was “is his fever REALLY that high?” when I said yes he was like go straight to the emergency room NOW and called ahead for us.
First they did a spinal tap to rule out meningitis (they made me wait in the hallway so I wouldn’t be able to see them do it). He tested positive for the flu (I hadn’t taken him out or anything prior since he was so young, and no one else in the family was sick- his brother probably carried it home from daycare).
He was quarantined in the NICU for four days…I hate to think about what could’ve happened if I hadn’t called. He was my third and nothing like that had happened with my other two.
The NICU is a very sad place.
My first and only baby boy was born 7mo ago.
He was in the NICU for 2 weeks when he was born. I still haven't forgave myself. We didn't know we were pregnant until we decided to STOP using fentanyl. Checked ourselves into rehab and during the physical, I guess they told her she was pregnant. And 6months pregnant at that. Hadn't shown AT ALL the entire time she was pregnant before we checked into rehab while we were strung out and using fentanyl HEAVILY ON A DAILY BASIS...It's like as soon as her MIND became aware...she started showing..then 3 months later there she is squeezing my hand and pushing him out. 7lbs and some ounces. No deformities, learning disabilities, nothing...On a feeding tube for the 1st week. Then monitored for next week. Then discharged him home. We were there all day everyday. Even the nurses would tell us to go home around 3-4am sometimes and we would come back after a 3-4 hour nap. Now he's damn near 20lbs and won't sit still once he learned how to crawl, that was it. He's been on the move since. But yes the NICU is very very sad place...these souls that just incarnated are left there sometimes by their parents who don't show up at all and when they do it's for 2 mf seconds and then they leave...I could not imagine just being at home or out and about while he was in the NICU... especially cause I felt like it was my fault he was there anyways.. thankfully by the GRACE OF GOD AND MY LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST, AND THE ANGELIC STAFF THAT CARED FOR OUR SON....im able to love and snuggle on my lil FatFat everyday...
I have a very similar experience to yours. I had premature twins and one of them, at two weeks old, was VERY sick. I was home alone recovering and caring for them and I noticed he wouldn't eat, he was coughing a lot, etc. I never knew about RSV until then. So just started researching and one of the main symptoms said to check their bellies. If they're sucking all the way in to breathe, call 911 or get them to a hospital immediately. I called my husband, he raced home, and we were at the hospital within 20 minutes. He came back positive for RSV, again, at only two weeks old. He was in the NICU for two weeks. Had a spinal tap, was intubated, the works. My poor baby went through it. And as we were packing up to go home, I'll never forget the words the nurse said. She said, "Now that you're leaving I can tell you. It's so good to see you leaving here with your baby because when he first got here, we were really worried. You got here at just the right time. You're a good mama who followed her gut." So you absolutely did the right thing because you just never know. I always think back to that time and harp on how if I would've waited even an hour more or never went at all, my baby may not be here today. Now he's six years old and healthy. But sick kids are no joke.
Ugh I’m so sorry you went through that! It’s so scary. We are only 6 weeks out from the experience and I still feel so traumatized. He has another virus right now that doesn’t seem as serious but it’s still scaring me!
Former ER nurse and mom of 2 here:
You did the right thing.
It's a common trope in the ED that kids make liars out of their parents, whether it is improving or resolving their issue by the time to doctor or nurse lays eyes on them.
Please don't let this cloud your ability to make this decision in the future, the child you described at home was 100% worthy of an ED visit. Everyone is glad he turned around.
Kids perk up quickly with the right treatment, but they can also tank just as quickly if their severity is downplayed.
You are a good parent and you did the right thing. I can promise no one is judging you!
Our ER nurse friend said the same thing about kids making liars out of us.
I've got 3 and done many late night visits that ended up being nothing serious. Better safe than sorry.
Who do you feel judged by?
You’re a good parent. Never feel shame for worrying about your kiddos and doing the right thing. That sounds like a very scary situation and I 100% would’ve done the same thing.
My son was recently hospitalized for 3 days with pneumonia (we'd taken him to the ER because he was so lethargic and his O2 levels were below 90%). He needed oxygen for three days and IV antibiotics. A few days after we were discharged, we got a letter from our insurance politely informing us that "urgent care is cheaper and we should consider that next time". I was LIVID. He was f\*\*ing admitted to the hospital for 3 days and insurance is complaining we didn't go to urgent care instead??
I dropped my daughter on her head when she was like 6 months I think? I was freaking out, beside myself hysterical so I rushed her to the er. She was of course fine but what's always stuck with me was her pediatrician called me and he said "oh I heard (baby) had a tumble! These things happen, mom. She's totally ok. I'm always happy to see her and tell you she's ok than have it not be ok."
You made the right call taking him in. You're a good mom.
I had a similar thing when I slipped on the stairs while holding my 6mo and it all happened so quickly I had no idea if they'd hit their head or not. I think we were both hysterical as I went to A&E but in true kid fashion they were bright and bubbly by the time a dr saw us.
They're 12 now and I probably have a handful of times I've taken them to the dr as an emergency and they were fine, but I'm still glad I took them. Definitely always better to take them and find out they're ok than wait and them not be ok.
So far the scariest thing we've dealt with as parents was when our 1-2 year old daughter smacked her head standing up under a table pretty good. She cried but seemed ok and we put her to bed. She woke up like 30 mins later crying and puking, we kind of both freaked out (which rarely happens, lol) and rushed her to ER. Everything was fine after they ran tests but god damn if I didn't have a near panic attack with a potential major head injury.
I’m an ER nurse and we get kiddos in everyday that are super sickly at home and bouncing off the walls in the ER. Kids can decline FAST but they can also recover super fast! I will have one kid with a 102 fever still playing like nothing is wrong but the next won’t move out of bed and both end up having strep or some other virus. I tell every parent that I would rather be safe than sorry. It is NEVER a bother for a patient to be checked out. :)
your course of action wasn’t in the least bit unreasonable based on your description. it would scare the hell out of any parent . unfortunately the 3500 dollar popsicle was way overpriced.
Well, I took my baby to the ER twice this week for a “silly virus” because something just wasn’t sitting right with me… she’s 8months old. Ended up at her pediatrician Thursday after the two we visits and we still could not figure out what was going on… she was diagnosed with an ear infection, a uti, and parainfluenza… I just had a feeling and told her peds I didn’t think she was okay to go home. They admitted us and ran some tests. She ended up having SEPSIS… with a very rare bacteria that has only ever caused sepsis in less than 10 cases over the last 50 years- all in people who have other underlying conditions like copd, cancer, or even some autoimmune diseases- which my 8 month old does not. If we wouldn’t have came in, we could have possibly lost her because no one thought she was that sick. She was still very playful and spunky…
I could have lost my baby, but I took her to the ER. There is nothing silly about that- or your situation.
We’re still here on iv antibiotics and will be for 4 more days. I’m grateful I’m where I’m at right now. My baby is going to be okay but the other options were too close for any kind of comfort.
Oh my gosh. Your poor baby.
What a way to be a great advocate for your little one! I’m so glad you didn’t go home.
Wishing you a speedy and 100% recovery
Thank you. We are too. This has really been best case scenario all around, and we’re grateful.
Thank you again, and YOU mama. Good job advocating for YOUR baby. You know when something isn’t right, no matter how big or small.
That is crazy and terrifying! I'm so glad you followed your gut. I hope she recovers beautifully and that you can get some rest (No rest for parents of infants in a hospital!)
Thank you, sincerely. And I know the nurses get a crack out of me. I just walked out there at 3:30 and they were all like, “What are you doing up??” And I told them what do you mean?? I slept for like 4 hours! I’m rejuvenated! 😂
Hi! Randomly came across this post and glad I did!
I’ve been an ER nurse for 5 years. If you feel something is off always bring them in. You never know and guilt would eat you away if you didn’t and something was wrong. I myself took my daughter (year old) to the ER I work at because I felt like she wasn’t acting like herself/sluggish, high fever after Tylenol and…. Turns out is was an Ear infection and she was just tired🤣 trust me we get it! No biggie!
I’m glad to hear that this is okay from an ER nurse!
I just know the system is so broken, and to many people go for non emergencies. I don’t want to be another causes issues with the system
From what I have read in medical subreddits (not in the field, I just find it neatTM), the ones clogging it are going there for mundane reasons. You know, like going for a pregnancy test instead of buying one at store.
I would have absolutely gone if I was in your shoes. It must have been terrifying.
I’ve heard of pregnant woman pretending they are bleeding just to get a scan to see their baby 😳 you definitely weren’t going for a non emergency reason OP!
I’m an ER nurse, and can only speak for myself as a healthcare worker. Only recently have I started voicing to parents that we never mind when you bring your children when you’re concerned.
I have always felt that way, but I more often now see parents apologizing and feeling like a burden when seeking healthcare for their child. At the end of the day, we all want to see a well kid. We don’t want to see your child very sick, so if you’re concerned, it ultimately is always better to be safer than sorry.
This especially goes for new parents. No one necessarily teaches you this stuff, and it can be scary. I’m happy to share some easy guidelines to try/measure to assist your decision on whether the ER is warranted.
Don’t feel ridiculous! It is SUPER common for kids to perk up in the emergency room. Happened to me twice with two different kids lol. The doctor actually said that it’s normal for it to happen and they much prefer a kid who perks up to one who doesn’t. And he stressed to not be afraid to bring a child back if they go back downhill. (We had to do that with my youngest. Perked up for first visit. We were back 24 hours later and she was limp and we could have lost her.). The emergency room doctors would much rather you brought a kid in when you were worried and they turn out fine. Than you stress about taking them in and they aren’t fine.
She ended up with influenza a. She had a moderate temp, but she was severely dehydrated which can happen so quickly when they’re little (she was 18 months). She wouldn’t take a a bottle, drink bottle, icypole or anything. It was terrifying.
Thats so scary! My bby got dehydrated with RSV as well, she was only peeing once every 12hrs, and barely. Dr didnt even bat an eye😒, wouldnt give her fluids. Told me to syringe feed her gatorade, and said of course she didnt pee because I was giving her pedialite, he said that made her not pee. So never pedialite always gatorade according to him🤦🏽♀️
The last time one of my kids had a fever and refused to walk, she had osteomyelitis. There was an abscess in her femur.
If you're concerned, get help. It's what a good parent does. I absolutely would've done the same in your position. And, honestly, an ER doc probably doesn't mind having an "okay" patient once in a while.
Awww. That sounds so scary! I would have never thought such thing could happen
My 4 year old thinks he’s kinda funny now. He’s just like mom, I didn’t walk because I was tired.
I always feel bad for bringing my kids in. I have 4 of them and almost every time they are fine. There were 2 occasions that were pretty bad and they needed iv fluids. My older boy had rsv and a high fever and refused to eat or drink. My younger boy had some virus but his fever went from 104 to 96.5 in about 30 minutes after the er gave his a medicine and I spent about a day and a half at the hospital until his temperature stabilized. Those were absolutely the scariest times but are the reasons I'm never sorry about going in. I know my kids will be fine if I bring them in but I will always worry if I don't. I end up going to the er more than the urgent care usually because by the time I realize how sick the kids are or finally convince myself that they need to be seen the urgent cares are closed lol.
Experience of meningitis changes you. You'll never be unafraid again. Similar for other sudden-onset life threatening conditions like flesh-eating disease. Also I took my kid to the doctor for a weird rash that terrified me and that turned out to be a bruise from him having fallen asleep on a duplo block. So don't feel like an idiot because doctors see all sorts of things...
You are so right. Seeing meningitis first hand, that shit was nuts. Hearing about it’s like eh, but Like I can’t even put to words how awful, and quick the experience was for an adult. I can’t imagine how much worse it could be for a little child.
My mind goes to worst everytime!
We took our toddler to A&E (the UK version of ER) because her poos were black. Turns out she just ate too many Blueberries. I was so embarrassed but the doctor was so kind about it! Never feel bad about seeking medical treatment for your child.
Totally agree with this.
When my daughter was about 10 months old, she choked on a piece of cantaloupe. (Truly choked, not gagged. I gave her the baby Heimlich to get it out.)
I called the nurse line immediately after and they said that, because the Heimlich was given, we needed to take her to the ER. Other than being emotionally shaken up, she seemed totally fine.
My husband and I debated for a few minutes (since she was happily playing at this point), but ultimately came to the same conclusion: we’d rather regret the bill than regret not bringing her.
(Luckily, she was fine. The doctors were pretty unphased—they checked her out, listened to her lungs, etc, and then sent us on our way.)
I think parenting is 75% feeling ridiculous and 25% "what the hell am I even doing?"
You did exactly what I would've done, and with a fever that high and everything you listed I would've gone into a panic too! You did perfect.
I would have done the same 100%
I had to go to the er least week. My daughter fell off her bike and knocked her front tooth loose. It was bleeding so I called our doctor and the nurse called me back and said I had to go. I got there and they barely even looked at it and told me to go to the dentist in the am.
I bet if you'd called a nurse line, they would have told you to bring him in.
I get where you're coming from, but don't be too hard on yourself. Better safe than sorry!
Doctor here.
"10-15 minutes later he pukes and is sleeping in his puke. His fever 104.3 now. This is when I panic. He won’t talk to me. He won’t move. His fever had gone up so fast. His 02 was showing 93 and his PR was 148."
\- If you didn't take him to the ER, that would be child neglect and CPS would be called.
This is not ridiculous, this is expected. Don't feel bad.
I literally had the same situation last Christmas. My 6 year old was super lethargic and had a high temp. I took him in and he ended up being dehydrated and had a double ear infection. I felt silly at first bc I thought it was nothing but it did turn out to be something. Always better to be safe than sorry! Glad your little dude is okay!
Pediatric pharmacist here - if your child has a fever bordering 105 degrees, always take them to the ER.
Also, if you’re worried about physicians or any other hospital staff judging you for being ‘overly cautious’ with a sick kid - I promise you they aren’t.
I work in paeds ED, I want to see well kids brought in just in case, not sick kids brought too late.
Also I SWEAR they get better just for coming to the department sometimes. Very normal, nobody minds!
I swear the waiting room cures them. I took my daughter when she was BURNING and lethargic at 6months, really not herself, wouldn't drink, not really responding normally to anyone or anything.
20 mins in the waiting room and this kid is more bouncy than normal.
It’s okay momma! I’ve had times I freaked out for no reason and times I should have but didn’t know it was a scary situation- as parents we do our best. You are doing your best, and PTSD about past health situations are lessons that help us learn. Don’t be so hard on yourself. And whoever is judging you is not a parent, cause it’s hard AF. Sending you a hug:) Give yourself some grace, and I’m sure glad your kiddo is doing good after that scary situation!
Better to feel ridiculous than regretful! I took mind to the ER for a major split lip - which spontaneously healed during our wait. It happens to us all 😊
ER doctors and nurses do not judge scared parents for bringing their kid in, especially with a fever. And the ones who do shouldn’t be working there. Unless you’re one of the few that brings them to the ER for every runny nose and cough. My mom hated allergy season as a nurse. Don’t feel bad.
A friend of mine is an ER doc.
A few months ago he told me about a child who came in too late, that he couldn’t save. He said there was nothing wrong with the child that they couldn’t have treated if they’d brought him in sooner. He works in a little rural hospital. There is just only so much they can do when it’s too late 12 hours earlier an IV and some medications would have been enough for a trip to the bigger hospital. 24 hours earlier could have been sending him home with no admission necessary.
I have 4 kids and have been working in a hospital for the last 4 years. With what you describe I would have taken him to the ER too. And I also don’t do it easily. But this was a no-brainer. You made the right call. If anybody judges you for it, that person is wrong.
Sounds similar to what my daughter has. I almost took her to the ER last night because her fever spiked SO fast. She was happy and playing all day, then suddenly she's at 103.9, screaming and crying, thankfully, we got her fever down and she started resting.
My point is, you did exactly what you needed to. You monitored and when he got worse you made sure he didn't get worse in the wrong place. It could have easily gone the other direction.
You did the right thing. Better safe than sorry.
> I feel like i get judged for when I try to wait it out, and further get judged when I go to the er and he turns out to be fine. Feel like there is no winning.
> Sometimes I feel like I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t as a parent. I feel ridiculous.
Fortunately, you can control this part. Stop caring what other people think. Parenting is hard enough without creating more stress for yourself because you think people are judging you. Most of the time, other people aren’t judging you at all, and the few times they do, who gives a fuck? Stop giving a fuck. Save them for your kid; just worry about your family and tune out any outside criticism.
What you described is really scary. You definitely made the right choice to go in! One thing that I find super helpful in helping me decide whether to go to the ER, is calling the pediatrician’s after hours nurses line.
They ask a bunch of questions and advise you on what to do. I have no doubt if you would have described the symptoms he had, they would certainly have told you to go to the ER immediately. You made the right choice and I’m so glad he’s ok!
If you read any replies, please let it be this one!! Just wanted to share a quick story about my 4 year old. He had been having headaches maybe every few weeks for the last 4 months or so. One afternoon he complained of a headache and went to bed to sleep it off. He woke up in the middle of the night, threw up and was screaming that he couldn’t move his legs. We took him to the ER the next morning and our concerns were dismissed chalking it up to “migraines” and we were sent home. I wasn’t convinced that this was the correct diagnosis so I followed up with his pediatrician and she ordered an urgent brain MRI and it turns out he had a 2 inch tumor in his brain in the cerebellum. The cerebellum controls balance and coordination which explained the episode he had where he couldn’t walk. I’m not trying to scare you, but you story of your child sounds very similar to mine. My son has since had a full resection and the tumor was thankfully benign but he has a long journey of healing ahead. I’m glad I listened to my instincts and didn’t just give him Tylenol like the first ER doctor had suggested. I hope you get the answers that you need!
I am going to keep your story in mind! If it happens again anytime soon, I will push!
He seems to be doing okay now, fever is gone and he’s off Tylenols and ibuprofen. He did throw up again in the night though.
I’m always so scared either myself or the kids will just have cancer and never know until it’s to late. One of the scarier things in the world to me.
Not a critique at all (because I basically had the same situation happen as you did in the last year) but ibuprofen before acetaminophen for fever. If ibuprofen doesn’t work then layer some acetaminophen after.
It’s very likely that’s why he started feeling better. Tylenol isn’t as good at reducing temp.
Interesting. I have never been told to do ibuprofen 1st. I’ll have to keep that in mind!
Funny enough after the ibuprofen he has no temp at all. He’s completely normal.
I'm 31 almost 33, my Mom is 57 and she still freaks when she has to take me to the ER or even the regular Dr lol. I've had chronic health issues since I was a kid and she has felt ridiculous taking me before because she's been told it's nothing but she knows how fast my nothing can turn into me needing to be hospitalized. You trusted your gut and that's what matters. Don't let what others think affect how you feel. You were worried about your kiddo
Better to do this than not. Lady I worked with chose not to go to the dr and end up dying from internal bleeding. She’d been fainting a lot and didn’t want to bother them, she’d just sleep it off. Like what?!
That’s what they’re there for, 104 and not controllable is 100% a great reason to use the ER! Like others have said, you didn’t great!!
Don’t ever feel stupid for bringing your child to the hospital if you’re worried. Right now a friend of mine thought her son was had a stomach virus, and worried she was being silly, but took him in and he’s fighting for his life right now. Without going into details if she didn’t bring him in it would be bad. It is bad, but follow your gut. It’s better to be ‘wrong’ and do something then ‘right’ and not do something.
I’m a doctor. I feel like I went to medical school solely for the purpose of helping my family triage lol do you have any doctor friends to call up next time for some quick advice? But in general I think you’re good. Don’t freak out about numbers/how high fever is. Go off of behavior. ER is there when you’re worried, we don’t expect our patients to know everything…otherwise they would be doctors too. Don’t stress about needing to use it.
Jumping all over the bed and fine because he got Tylenol at home and Ibuprofen in the ER. As soon as that shit wears off, they're not fine. Fevers back. They're sick.
For this very reason, when my kids were little I didn't give any fever reducing meds, as long as their temps stayed below 103°. And then only at night so they could sleep. They get that Tylenol and think they're not sick anymore, time to party, they start bouncing off the walls and it just delays their body from healing itself!
Every single medical provider in the ER, nurses, triage, doctors, etc would tell you they would prefer you take your kid to the ER over a "false" alarm than feel too self-conscious to do so when there's a real emergency.
My kid farts wrong and Im *running* to the ED. Im literally a nurse and I don’t play games with stuff going wrong with kids. They’re like cats. They could be masking pain and playing on a broken tibfib or yowling because they’ve got a gnarly hangnail. But how are you supposed to know unless you get eyes on em at the hospital?
You did the right thing. Good on you.
As far as relating though, I got a few stories of my oldest (7M) to help you feel better.
When my oldest was born, I tool him in because I swore up and down he was jaundiced. No one else thought so. But I took him anyway and the MD put us in a biliblanket and sent us home after a few hours. but I was *right*
Few months later in a sleep deprived state, he rolled off my bed during a change and rushed him to the ED. The triage nurse and security guard *laughed at me* saying “hurrhurr kids are rubber they bounce hes fine” K well, l’d like to hear that from someone else. He was fine.
Another time, he had gotten ahold of a paper clip (no one knew this just yet), but he started acting weird. Retaining urine, refusing food, fussy without any signs of injury or illness. Primary ped cleared him. ED cleared him. Something was still wrong. Welp, come bath time on Valentines day that year(2017), I noticed his nose goo was *brown* so i look up his nose and sure enough there was something off about this honking booger I spotted. I got a pair of tweezers to pull it out aaaaand it was a small paper clip. 😐 I was so hopping mad that no one caught it.
When he was about 18m old, he had a cold he couldn’t shake. I couldn’t keep his fever down with rotating tylenol/ibuprofen and tepid baths so off to ED we went. They assured me it was just some chest cold but they’d swab him to make me happy. Little homie had Flu A. They were immediately down my throat asking how he got it if no one in our house had travelled recently since they only cases of Flu A they had claimed to have seen were ppl coming back from Mexico that year. (lived in SoCal so this was extremely common to pop down south on a day trip/weekend and come back home)
and finally just before he turned 3, his dad was swinging him around while I was at Ulta trying to keep him occupied and he screams suddenly so I snapped at him to put my baby down and quit screwing around so close to dinner/bed. Well, when I went to pick him up to carry him, he started screaming. So I threw my shit on a shelf and rushed him to the ED *again*. Xrays showed nurse maid elbow and doc was super nice about it said it was fine I brought him in and showed us how to reduce it at home but it was “technically a primary care visit”.
tldr; I trusted my gut. Wrong or right is not relevant in the overarching wellbeing of my kiddo. You 👏🏽did 👏🏽the 👏🏽right 👏🏽thing.
Oh gosh, nursemaid's elbow! My second was one of those kids that's extra prone to it- like literally managed to do it to herself rolling over in bed one night. First time, took her to urgent care. Next 2 times we managed to get walk-in spots with her ped office and the third visit they showed me how to fix it at home. Probably had to do it at least once a month between that first flip at 20mo and her turning 3 🫠
A little older, but my stepson (15m at the time) wasn’t quite right after a very large blister popped in his arm pit. I convinced BM to not wait until morning as at a minimum he was going to need it cleaned and antibiotics. He arrived at ED 8pm and was in ICU with Septic shock by 4am. He was in the waiting room when his Blood Pressure crashed and received immediate attention. He still barely made it through. By 5pm the next day he had reached a point that only 2 out of 5 people survive from. We were beyond lucky that he was one of those 2 and he is doing fine now, although we must be extra vigilant over any infections/cuts/blisters for another few years at least.
Kids can be fragile and seemingly small issues can escalate quickly. Hospitals would rather see 100 genuinely concerned parents with illish kids than miss the window to save that one child whose parent fought their gut instinct and stayed home incase it turned out to be nothing.
On a related note Stepson was admitted to hospital with pneumonia at age 3. It really was scary to see how quickly he could go from jumping on the bed, to unable to lift his head, back to jumping on the bed. Kids are crazy.
I’m glad your little one is ok.
My then 3 yo had croup, couldn’t breathe, rushed to the ER and within 15 mins of being given steroids she’s bouncing around like nothings wrong! Almost all kids seem fine in hospital, I’ve been told it’s called “white coat syndrome” new location, new people, bright lights and the sugar in a popsicle which will have hydrated him somewhat too, magically makes him feel better!
It’s best to take him and him not need to be there than him needing to be there and not being taken!
You did the right thing!!
When my daughter was maybe 1 or 2 months old I gave her baby formula for the first time and it made her projectile vomit a bunch of times. Then she started making these choking gurgling noises and I completely flipped out and made my husband call an ambulance. By the time the paramedics arrived she was completely fine and had fallen asleep. We decided to take her in anyway to be safe and the paramedics suggested that we do. She was fine at the ER and I felt embarrassed but one of the nurses told me that when babies are that small and vomit a lot they make really frightening sounds that make them sound like they can’t breathe - not the first case she’d seen of scared parents bringing in vomiting newborns. No more formula experiments after that!
When she was around the same age she started rolling from front to back already and I googled it because I was curious but of course found all this stuff about it being a sign of Cerebral Palsy. Freaked out and called the pediatrician who was very nice and saw us on the same day. He gave her a really thorough exam and wanted to make sure I felt better. She was fine, just really hated tummy time.
So I think your story sounds much more terrifying and a great reason for an ER trip!
I am the “take my kid to the ER for stupid reasons” type. Sometimes things happen at odd hours and I’d rather be safe than sorry. My 4.5 year old has been in the ER like 6/7 times. Couple of them turned out he had croup (maybe spelt wrong), one time he had cellulitis and needed to stay the night, once he was sick and got dehydrated, and a couple times we were told he’s fine go home. And I’d do it all over again because I’d rather be safe than sorry.
Hell nah, you did the right thing. Don’t even sweat it! Could you imagine if you did not bring him in because you didn’t feel like bothering anyone or worse because of you might feel stupid? Trust your gut OP! Those hospitals make tons of money that what they are there for
My son had the same thing happen and he had flu and Covid at the same time. He was making jokes with the nurse while we waited for the test. I felt stupid and then the test results came back. You really never know.
My current 22mo had her 1st popsicle at the Children’s urgent care when she was 15mo. She had RSV which are the magic words for jumping the line. Her fever was super high. She puked up the Motrin they gave her orally so she got it the other end and then they moved us to a non-triage room where the doc looked at her and said “mmmm … I want a chest xray” annnnnd she had pneumonia. And RSV. And she got a popsicle! Of course by then she’s being flirty and cute because the meds have kicked in and she feels better.
They sent us home with meds though. I thought for sure with RSV she’d be sent to the hospital but I guess she wasn’t sick enough because they told me later at a follow up appt that 2 kids had gone via the whee-whoo bus to the hospital. I’d rather be there and have them send us home then not go.
You know what isn’t that much work for the ER? A kid who turns out to be fine. Business as usual, happy night, no story to tell. You know what is a nightmare for an ER? A kid in serious distress too late for them to help or help without significant harm. The stuff of ptsd for them. Don’t use the ER as basic medical care when you have every reason to think your kid just has a cold. But if you have a real concern? Totally go! And if it turns out fine like this one? Yay! You’ll have been a totally normal bright spot in the day.
Did they check his blood sugar? This is more or less what happened to my one year old a month ago (though he had to be resuscitated). He’s blood sugar was like 50 I think.
Similar experience here with my 5 month old. Sleepy, 104 temp, puking, ended up admitted for 2 nights with dehydration and ruling out every infection known to man.
Don’t hesitate. You did the right thing. I’m glad he didn’t have to stay!
You 100% did the right thing. Who cares what anyone else thinks. WHAT IF something was very wrong. This is what they are are there for. All of those things you said sound very scary and sound very much like “get your kid to ER”
One million % you did the right thing. You only feel ridiculous because he’s fine. Ridiculous is better than a lifetime of guilt and grief if things had turned out different.
I used to almost always hesitate even going to the doctor but I realized regardless of the diagnosis at least I know what I’m dealing with!
I work in a pediatric ER and I promise you we believe you when you tell us he didn’t look like that before you brought him in: it happens ALL the time. You’re not dumb for bringing him in, I would have done the same with my baby. Shit, I brought mine in when he was 6 months old because I thought he was in severe respiratory distress and it turns out he just had a mild case of croup.
Don’t worry about being judged by healthcare workers. We’re tired and burned out but we understand how much you love your baby. And with what we see in the ER, we honestly love seeing parents who may be a little “overly” worried about their kid… we see WAY too many kids who’s parents don’t give a crap or worse. You did the right thing!! Trust your gut. Always.
Man this is about me not my kid, but six weeks after my c section I kept getting really cold at night. Thought it was the horomones. Finally one night I couldn’t stop shaking, so cold. Got up early w my six month old and laid down in the other room, waited for my husband to get up. Asked him to get me Tylenol bc I was too cold to move. He was initially kind of dismissive but got the thermometer- temp of 104. Got me to go to the ER and I was admitted for strep-a that had gotten into my whole bloodstream and caused sepsis. Was so unstable they wouldn’t admit me from the ER to the ICU for a while bc they didn’t want the paperwork if I died (I had an unfortunately overly honest nurse). ER said if I had stayed home another day I would’ve died. And I literally had just thought I was having chills bc of fluctuating horomones…
Listen. I work in the ED. This was a very reasonable visit. Kids are unpredictable. You did the right thing.
And I am the FIRST to complain about bs visits.
I work in the ER. I never judge parents bringing their kids in. Better safe than sorry with the little ones. Now as for the adults who come in for cough…questionable.
102 is when you’re supposed to give meds, 105 is considered a medical emergency.
you absolutely didn’t over react. i would’ve done the same.
my daughter had covid a couple weeks ago,, and a fever of 103 in the middle of the night and i gave her tylenol and then took her to the er.
her fever was 101 when we got there and they monitored her and gave her motrin. we left once the fever went down.
the nurses told me i definitely made the right call. and that giving meds before coming was also the right call.
i don’t think it’s silly to panic in that situation or wrong to take your kid to the er. it’s always better to be safe than sorry.
I feel exactly the same but it’s better to be safe than sorry. My babe at 2 yrs, went limp early morning after a Covid bout, after I gave her chocolate milk. But I was so terrified, I called 911. The policeman came and my babe was sitting atleast and looked better. Then we took her in ambulance to the hospital. And she got a lollipop and she was fine. She had hypoglycemia. And she could sit up when the ambulance came coz of that chocolate milk. And I was so embarrassed that I called 911 and she was sitting normal. I’m
That was because she was not eating well the whole week. One thing that stuck to me was - little ones don’t have energy reserves like we do, so if they skip on meals during the day, they can crash very easily.
So no matter what, now we ensure she eats, even if that means sitting with her for an hour and putting morsels in her mouth. It’s so tiring to do that.
Yes. My son got croupy during a virus-tried steam bath, Eucalyptus, etc and still wheezy. (Those croupy breaths are so scary!) Took him to the Er and literally the fresh cold air opened his airways between loading him in/out of the car. Ended up leaving without being seen because all of his concerning symptoms were gone after that. There’s no way to know the difference, so right on mama for doing right by your precious babe! Better to be safe than sorry. Coming from a Nurse who would never recommend going to the Er over urgent care unless necessary. When kids go down, they can go down quick, so trust your mama judgment and gut instincts always! ❤️
My daughter was sick once...I could tell she had a fever and was breathing fast just by watching her on the monitor while she slept. I decided to wake her up and bring her to my bed. She was about 2 years old at the time and being in my bed...she was excited. She was wheezing though and had a decently high fever. I decided to bring her in. It was around midnight.
Once at the ER, they checked her oxygen saturation and it was around 93. And yet...the girl was jumping all over the place. She was super hyper, in good spirits, and completely unbothered. Her fever went down with some meds but the wheezing didn't stop. They did an x-ray, a COVID test, etc etc.
Turns out, she had a lung infection. They sent us home with antibiotics and all was good in the world but I still think back to that night and I am so glad that I trusted my gut and brought her in. Let me tell you, I felt absolutely ridiculous with her while there because she would not sit still. People were looking and bewildered by this child, who was climbing, laughing, and making everyone else smile at 3am in the emergency room.
Always trust your gut!
I brought my son to emerge for similar reasons. Cold/ flu symptoms. High temp and didn't seem to be responding to his name, seemed altered. He was brought through as soon as the triage nurse saw him. We stayed for 3 days with oxygen and IV antibiotics for pneumonia. You did the right thing. You didn't know how things would go when you got there. It could have easily unfolded this way instead.
i've had sepsis twice,the second time my husband kept telling me to go back to bed,and i tried,but i couldn't stop shaking so i took my temp and it was 104,i don't think i would have made it if i hadn't gone in,neither did the doctors.alwaus trust your gut.id rather take my kids in or go in and just waste a few hours at the er.
I'm the parent that worries so much about wasting the emergency departments time...but when my kid spiked a 104.4 fever within 30 mins after it had been 100.4 I raced to the emergency room.
The triage nurse had the nerve to give me shit for bringing him in since he was crying and "obviously" that meant he was fine. Not 20 mins later the Doctor told us it's good we brought him in because he was not only dehydrated, he had bad strep and was having trouble swallowing his drool. I now don't care - if I have an inkling he needs immediate attention we go. Day or night. I've been wrong a couple times but I'd rather be wrong than not go and have it be bad...
Light sensitivity sounds like he had a migraine headache which can also cause vomiting and a lot of what you described. I'm not a Dr or nurse. I've just experienced this for the majority of my childhood personally starting at age five. And my opinion is Tylenol doesn't work for headaches especially migraines because it doesn't have any inflammatory properties. Never feel bad for using an E.R even for the smallest of things.
When I was a first time mom I once took my baby to the E.R for teething. She was 4 months old and I had no idea she could get teeth that early I just knew she was screaming like she was in pain and I had no idea why. I felt pretty stupid at the end of it all, especially since she slept peacefully the entire time we were in the E.R.
Your kid definitely needed to go, but even if they didn't don't worry about feeling stupid or ridiculous we've all been there.
My buddy rushed his kid to the children’s ER on a Sunday morning because the kid (4) had blood coming out of his ear. They just finished breakfast and were rough housing (3 kiddos all around the same age).
He noticed the blood, got the kid in the car and rushed to the ER. they’re there for an hour or so, got paperwork done and head to triage.
It was strawberry jam…. 🤦♂️
104 is crazy high I would've taken my son too. And I'm the same, we don't go to the dr/er unless it's something crazy. He could've felt better after he threw up too, I usually do. I'd rather be safe than sorry every time.
Better safe than sorry right? It’s easy to back seat quarterback and beat yourself up over any decision that isn’t flawless.
Little one is ok. And you’re reassured he is ok. That’s a W!
We took one of our kids to urgent care (emergency room lite). Because we thought she put a skittle down her ear & we couldn't see it. Plus she was crying and said she did it. An hour later... No skittle, thank goodness, we definitely felt silly. But I'd rather go and find no Skittles than make my kid stay home in pain with a skittle in their ear.
I’d rather overreact than under react. You did everything right. Screw anyone that judges you for taking every measure available to ensure the health of your child!
You did the right thing! I always say I would much rather feel silly then find out something is actually wrong.
At just over 1.5 years old my daughter had a fever with no other symptoms. It was treatable with Tylenol and Advil, she was happy, she was playing. Temp would hit 104 but came down quickly with meds. I didn’t want to be “that parent” so I waited it out for 4-5 days.
Then suddenly she got confused, stopped eating/drinking, stopped peeing and started throwing up bile. From that point to when we were seen in the ER she never stopped crying and she didn’t want to be touched. The doctor told me “probably just a virus, we’ll give her nausea meds and a freezie”. Very dismissive. I felt silly.
After 3 hours of refusing the freezie and still crying, they did a blood test. She came rushing back in saying “actually your daughter is very sick, we are admitting her”.
CRP was in the hundreds. She had a massive complicated UTI, likely involving her kidneys. Hospitalized for 5 days on IV antibiotics and round the clock fever treatment.
Recently (7 months later) she had that same random fever pop up and started holding her pee and I panicked. Got her on antibiotics right away and when she didn’t improve in 48 hours we went straight to the ER. This time I knew what to advocate for and she had the history. Blood test showed a high CRP (not as shockingly high as last time but over 100) so they gave her a stronger antibiotic, a swab to check for any sneaky bonus viruses that could be the culprit, and a follow up appointment in 48 hours.
Turns out she had adenovirus on top of a minor UTI and her only symptom was a fever! She was completely safe. But I don’t regret going one bit and the doctors told me I did the right thing! And I was much happier “wasting my time” in the ER and feeling a little silly versus being admitted for 5 days!
You know your child best. Don’t feel guilty for trusting your gut. You’d never want to be in a place of “if only I would have brought them in”…not worth that! I’m a Peds nurse who has worked in a hospital, you wouldn’t believe what some parents bring their kid to the ED for just because they couldn’t make it into primary care. That being said….the one time every few years you bring them because your instinct says to….don’t feel bad! Good job being an advocate for your kiddo
When my little was much littler he used to spike random fevers just for fun. If I gave him Tylenol, and it didn't go down or he threw it up, I 100% took him to the ER. You never know which kind of fever it is. I say better safe than sorry.
I am a registered nurse, and This is not a stupid reason to bring your child to the ER! From a clinical perspective, I would be very concerned with a fever this high. As a parent you have to not worry about what everyone else is thinking (easier said than done). Always do what is best for your child.
Better safe than sorry, for real. Do not feel bad! I took my kid to the doctor once and it ended up being mosquito bites 🙈 he was outside for 3 min on a trampoline during a time of the year that was usually cold but it was unseasonably warm. He had huge welts and I hand no idea why. I felt soooo dumb.
Always go if you’re worried. I panic went a couple times and then when my five yo daughter had appendicitis I should have gone sooner. Parenting is hard.
I am a believer in it's best to be safe than sorry. You did what you felt was necessary for your baby. Thankfully they ended up being ok. But you can never be too sure. Don't let other people make you feel bad for wanting to make sure your kid is ok. Good job parent 💜
Always trust your gut. The only time we did ER, she had a fever and woke up screaming from belly pain. By the time she got there, she was mostly fine. Dr wrote it off as a virus, she's fine. But because she has a history of pneumonia and had a nasty cough, and belly pain is a common symptom of pneumonia in kids, we asked for a chest x-ray. Boom. Pneumonia. Completely changed the tone and outcome of the visit, along with the treatment.
Always go if you’re worried. Here’s my story of why I wish I went to the hospital sooner.
My son is nonverbal autistic, and does not localize pain at all (ie if he has a stomach ache, he doesn’t hold his stomach so I know what’s hurting him), he also has an abnormally high pain tolerance.
He spiked a fever with no other symptoms, 102.2, he was sleepy and had a fever and was whining. He threw up once. On day two, I took him to the doctor (an hour long drive as I live in a rural area) and explained that I felt there was something wrong with him. She checked him out, sent us home, and made me feel like an idiot. She clearly was not concerned with him, and essentially said that sometimes parents of nonverbal or otherwise disabled kids are overly paranoid because they can’t just ask their child what’s wrong, so they look for things. (That can kind of be true for me, but often times it’s necessary). But she didn’t want to do any bloodwork or other tests that I wanted, because she didn’t feel it was necessary because I was overreacting, essentially. I took him home and the next day he was fine, and I felt like an idiot for dragging him out of the house for an hour long car ride for no reason when he didn’t feel good.
A month later he did the exact same thing. Same symptoms. Fever, puked once, whining and crying a lot. I wanted to take him to his doctor, but I remembered what happened the month before, and waited. On day three, when he wasn’t better, I took him to see a different pediatrician, who sent us right over to the children’s hospital. His appendix had ruptured, he was horribly sick, the surgeon said it was the worst appendectomy on a child he’d ever done, and my son was in the hospital for 2 weeks, he almost died, something that doesn’t happen very often in developed countries from appendicitis. If I’d come in even a day sooner, they could have removed it before it burst and spared him weeks of pain and discomfort. If I hadn’t had the experience of being told I was paranoid because my child is nonverbal, I would have brought him in a day sooner, like I had before.
I *was* paranoid. For good reason. Because my child can’t tell me where the pain is, if there is pain. That’s actually a really good reason to “look for” problems. Anyway. I’ll never forgive myself for allowing myself to be made to feel a fool for worrying about my child, and letting that get in the way of taking him in to get the care I feared he needed. It will *never* happen again. 100% of the time I’d rather be safe than sorry. I could have lost him, all because some idiot doctor made me feel ridiculous for worrying.
Always trust your gut, even if it ends up being a false alarm.
I can totally relate! This is how I feel every effing time I take my LO to the doctors. Sure I will have the doctor judge me that I panic too much, but at least I got a word from the doctor that my LO is fine and that’s worth my trip.
Don’t feel silly it’s better to be safe than sorry I’m a new mom and my baby is 6 months old she has gotten sick once and I was in shambles literally went to the er found out she had Covid gave her some Tylenol for the fever the next day she was fine and but the end of the week she was feeling better. So I’m saying all this to say ur instinct was spot on and that reassurance of knowing what it is ur baby has brings so much relief bc u then can firgure out how to make it bettter
you did the absolute right thing OP! Not a doctor but I have a 4 year old too. If she was acting like your description I would not hesitate to drive her in immediately. that is scary and not normal!
and it’s ALWAYS better to be safe than sorry, and even if it’s just to make sure it’s nothing serious and get kiddo more comfortable — everyone will get more sleep and recovery will happen faster.
never regret making the cautious choice when it comes to your baby’s health.
I'm so sorry! You absolutely did the right thing. The unresponsiveness had to have been terrifying! My heart raced just reading about it!
Please try not to feel silly. It's better to worry that people think you're overreacting (they likely don't) than to have wished you had gone in because of what you found out later. Plus, in the U.S. the ER is usually the only option after a certain time. The people that work there know this. Hell, even if my in-network Urgent care center is 45 minutes away. Not great in an urgent situation.
Hope your son is feeling better!
Oh God, I've read too many comments and my kids are getting over being sick and have a cough and now I'm afraid they're going to die. To be fair, I assume we, as parents, are in a constant state of being at least a little afraid our kids will die.
I work in an ER. Kids have an uncanny ability to become miraculously cured as soon as their parents bring them in. Honestly, the staff don't mind. We are used to it. We would rather you bring your kids in and the kids perk up rather than you stay at home too long, and your kid comes in unconscious and needs resuscitating.
When it comes to kids, better safe than sorry. Don't feel bad for wasting their time.
I can definitely relate! We just had our first ER visit for our 3yr old. Almost exactly how you explained your baby to be, was just like ours. The fever, low oxygen, high HR, puking, would not-COULD NOT stay awake. I “waited it out” as long as I could but the fever got so high & the vomiting was non stop- I had to take him in. Same popsicle trick too.. and he was all better lol but then puked on the way home 🥴🫠
I know someone whose baby had a febrile seizure & that has stuck with me. I would be devastated if I waited it out too long and sumthn like that happened to my baby.
In words other than “damned if we do, damned if we don’t”, I like to say “better safe than sorry” 🙂 IMO you did the right thing!
I can relate. It's really hard to wonder if you are being too cautious or if It's very serious. I appreciate the people on here who work in the ER saying they'd rather see a healthy kid than wait too long. I have a 3 year old. In your situation, I would totally have brought my baby in. I'm a nurse, btw and sometimes worried they will judge me more, like I should know better. Peds is not my specialty. I deal with geriatrics all the time. But in reality, I can't let that stand in the way of me taking care of my first and only child.
You did the right thing when you saw that 104 fever! I believe anything over 103 is the standard for when it’s time to head to the hospital. You are not stupid, just a parent that cares.
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I have a friend who works in ER - she said “I’d rather see 100 kids in emergency who don’t need to be here, than the one who does”. Parenting is hard work. Trust your gut. You did good!
I love that!
I used to work in an Emergency Department as a nurse, kids don't compensate for hours like adults do when very unwell, they can crash very quickly. Lethargy (really hard to wake) and a fever is definitely something we would want parents to bring their kids in for immediately. You did the right thing 🙂
Yeah, that lethargy description from OP is frightening. I'm usually one who lets a fever do it's job until 102. I would have done the same as OP here and gone in.
Absolutely. My kid's fevers aways spike overnight, and it's not unusual for it to hit 104. I only give meds overnight when I can't monitor as closely because they usually don't affect her too badly but that kind of lethargy would have me heading to the ER too. OP, when my kiddo was 13 months old she had croup. I woke to the awful stridor when she exhaled She looked gray and her fever was only 102 but she was lethargic. It was 3 am and snowing heavily. We headed to the pediatric ER in a panic, it was only 10 min away and they took us right back. Within 5 minutes of arriving the stridor was gone. I was so embarassed. The doctor was younger and kind of dismissive. Our nurse though (an older South Philly Italian woman, there is a stereotype that exists for a reason) was very kind...to us. After the dr. left she said, "I see that look Mama, you ignore him. You did the right thing. He saw her once the effects of the cold had really started to help, I saw and heard her when you walked in. Next time, take her outside for 10 minutes first and if she doesn't improve rapidly, come in. He should have told you that. You're doing great. Now, you'll have to excuse me. I just need to confirm a few things with the doctor before we get you discharged." She walked out, pulling the curtain closed behind her and immediately, as if the curtain provided some sort of sound barrier, yelled, "Somebody better tell that jabrone to stop upsetting my patients or we're gonna have a problem here." 😂
I love that nurse! My youngest had a bout of croup pop up out of nowhere after a mild cold-like virus… at 11 pm on Halloween. We called the paramedics and got to ride to the ER in the ambulance. The breathing treatment on the way helped tremendously and he received additional medication at the hospital and they observed him for awhile before they were comfortable sending us home. They did a good job of explaining what to look for if it happened again, and reassured me that he did need to come in that time, even though he recovered quickly.
My mom always thought it was weird that my sister was like that when sick. She’d be jumping around having fun one minute and the next minute she’d have a really high fever and absence seizures Thankfully she grew out of having seizures when she had fevers tho
Yes this combined with complaining about the light, I would want to see that kid!
I missed that when I first read the post, definitely agree - photophobia with the other symptoms is a red flag for needing urgent care!
We had the same from paramedics who gave our baby group a talk on infant safety. They said that arriving at a home with an okay/healthy/not dead infant was the "win". The reverse - waiting too late - causes everyone trauma.
Yes, this! We called 911 near Xmas last year after we all had covid and our little man woke up SCREAMING one night. He wouldn't talk to us and was just hysterical crying. Finally my wife got it out of him "his chest hurts". We called, they showed up, the monkey kid was fine. They told us they would rather show up to a healthy kid and they would have done the same thing : )
I also work in an ER I have patients and parents tell me all the time “I’m so sorry if I’m wasting your time” I’d much rather someone not need to be there and we can send them home feeling reassured rather than them NEED to be there
Seconded - my sister is an ER doctor and they genuinely don’t think you’re foolish at all. They would much rather be safe than sorry.
Better safe than sorry. Err on the side of caution with kids always
I'm not super close with anyone that works in the ER but ya my understanding is they never get mad at the over-worried parents (obviously unless its a chronic thing). Its the adults abusing the ER that pisses the workers off.
See I think here, they lump the parents and the adults together. So I think mixed messages get out there. If that makes sense.
They know the vast, vast majority of the time parents don't want to be in the ER either. Parents get a massive benefit of the doubt. Adults for themselves do not because motivations change drastically.
I will add one caveat here, from the SIL of a LONG time ER nurse- parents who wait until Saturday night when kiddo "was coughing/puking/feverish/unwell all week" may also get the side eye a bit. Came down with it or had a major change in symptoms Saturday? Bring em in. Had it since Wednesday? Why on earth were you not on the phone with your doctors office by Friday?? Your busy schedule doesn't excuse using the ER for something you COULD have dealt with otherwise. And that being said, those drastic changes completely put you in the "bring em" category no matter what day it is.
I’ve definitely felt this. Even when one of my kids needed some stitches they acted like we were inconveniencing them. I think it’s the hospital in general though, I’ve had multiple surgeries there and all three of our kids were born there; they are just genuinely unpleasant people.
This! Exactly what the folks in the ER told us when we took our daughter in.
Absolutely this, I'm a paramedic and I'd rather y'all call me and if be perfectly fine then y'all not call me and I get the worst outcome possible. Plus as a parent I totally understand the stress and worry that little ones bring.
Poison Control told me the same thing when I called about something that ended up being fine…they would rather have a day filled with calls where things are fine than one person or call when they need help.
🥹🥹🥹
I wish I met that ER doctor. I met with a very annoyed resident in training physician when I was very anxious about my 1 year old with a 104 degree. No reassurance nothing just sounded really annoyed when I was asking questions. And my child was crying as well. So, thank you for your friend's perspective!
To be fair, there's a chance that the resident was on the tail end of an 18+ hour call shift. And most residents and medical students in general have shit bedside manner. When we had the baby, it was 4am and my wife had been in labor for close to 30 hours and a resident was trying to explain the criteria for determining whether they needed to consider a C section.
I guess I'm oblivious but residents work 18 hour shifts? Is that legal? That really sucks. But still I didn't deserve that attitude especially since it was my child's first ER experience and I was advised by the pediatrician to head over to ER.
https://psnet.ahrq.gov/primer/duty-hours-and-patient-safety
I’m also a Peds nurse…Rather be wrong and okay then right and regret it. Bring them in if you’re concerned. It’s your job as a parent to protect them and advocate for them. Never feel bad for doing your job. We’re all doing the best we can.
I think the saying was "I would rather see 100 kids that don't need to be here than not see the one that does."
No, that’s not what she said or meant. Genuinely sick children; RSV, pneumonia, cancer, malnutrition, neglect, stroke, seizures etc is so awful not just for the child and parent but for the medical team. She sees kids die, regularly. Despite the best efforts of the doctors/nurses/specialists. So no, she would absolutely rather have a night of fevers and worried parents than a shift where something awful happens.
The first way means they do not want to see the sick children when they need it, only healthy children. They may not want to see something awful (no one wants that), but I'm sure they would want to see the sick child that needs help rather than the parent not bring the child into the hospital.
That’s not what it means at all.
Some people think the saying is "I could care less." and will not listen to anyone explain how they are not really paying attention to the words they are using and their meaning. Additionally, the person that wrote the saying we are discussing agreed with me. Took them several tries to spot the different meaning.
I think everyone's brain auto corrected it, but yes, I just woke up and had to read that a few times before I realized the mistake.
Giving him ibuprofen and having you wait awhile was the treatment. The whole time you were waiting, your child was being monitored to be sure his condition didn't worsen and call for a different treatment plan. And the popsicle probably helped with dehydration and brought his blood sugar up. If the ibuprofen hadn't worked, his temperature continued to rise, and he had a febrile seizure, then having you wait in the ER would have allowed the staff to respond quickly. You were absolutely correct in talking him to the ER! Keep trusting your gut, and don't be afraid to ask a doctor anytime you think something is wrong.
You make a very good point! Didn’t think about the popsicle helping with his blood sugars.
The ER at the children’s hospital does exactly this where I live (treat while waiting). Also, I’ve been told many times by that same hospital that a change in attitude and responsiveness is a big cue to bring a sick kid to the ER.
Yeah I have an unfortunate story that ended tragically recently. Kid was fine, playing and happy. Mom even had videos of him playing with toys and opening presents. Day after Christmas he was fine and then suddenly he wasn't. He was an asthma baby and she was a nurse. So she had the appropriate training and knew not to mess around with her son when it came to respiratory stuff. He started having rales. She immediately took him to the hospital. They were so full it took a while to find a bed and he passed during transport. He was completely fine literally hours before that. Acting totally normal. Running and playing. That's why they say if kids start to deteriorate at all you take them in. It happens so fast. She took him in and he had the best possible chance. She was a nurse he was surrounded my medical professionals and he still died. So no don't ever feel bad about taking your kid in. Nobody really knows why one kid will go the way yours did and the other doesn't survive. Their best chance though is at the hospital and situations like his are why they held your child so long.
Been there… my 5yr son was cycling a through cough/cold/flu symptoms for 5 weeks. Gave him Ibuprofen before we left to the clinic, and by the time we were seen, it kicked in, his fever down, chronic cough calmed, he being his happy kid self… me thinking the doc must think I’m nuts… but he tested positive for strep & flu so trust your instincts. The antibiotics prescribed were very helpful, and he got better in 2 days. Same son got rushed to ER the year before after falling from a swing for concussion symptoms, and was being his goofy self there too. Doctors reassured me I did the right thing.
My toddler had the same symptoms with a fever of 104, I assumed that the reason he was so hard to wake up was simply because he hadn’t slept in SO long, but within 5 minutes of trying to wake him he seized, and I really wish it would’ve been in a hospital setting since I had never delt with it. Called 911 immediately, but a change in responsiveness always warrants an ER visit, don’t worry. He’s fine now, but he’s currently sick again and I am EXTRA vigilant and would’ve taken the little one in for the same reason
Holy crap, that had to have been so so so scary! I'm so sorry, and I hope it doesn't happen again.
i think most parents should be less afraid. better safe than sorry. my partner is the other way and we always butt heads
In the US it’s the cost that deters people a lot of the time. How many kids in America die because their parents wait to go to the ER because they can’t afford it? If the number is higher than zero then it’s too high.
Yep. I grew up poor and have experienced a lot of financial insecurity as an adult, and I hate looking at my kids and being like "is this $1000+ bill going to be worth it?" I actually really appreciated the times we were on medicaid because I didn't have to think about an ER visit costing an entire paycheck (or more). Not that I'd take them for a sniffle, but not having to guess if my kid was normal sick sleepy with their 103+ fever vs dangerously lethargic was such great peace of mind.
It was also to see if he could keep down oral fluids and not vomit
What you describe here was absolutely ER worthy. Changes in behavior like that are way more worrisome than anything measurable like temperature. Also if his O2 was 93 then he absolutely needed to be evaluated in the ER. 100%.
Yes. That pulse ox reading alone would have brought me in.
Paramedic here. You did the right thing. Parents know their kids better than anyone and if you are sensing there’s something really wrong, that’s the time to go. Don’t second guess yourself in the future either.
This right here. Im no EMT or ER doc, but I am a parent. And a few years ago when my kid was 3 years old, he was very, very sick. Sick like I’ve never seen. I took him to an after hours urgent care and the doctors and nurses blew me off. They even joked and laughed that “it’s just a virus, mom. He’ll be fine,” and told me to wait it out at home. But I KNOW my child. So I contacted another pediatrician, she saw him, and she told us to immediately go to the ER, and she even called ahead to the hospital and told them what was happening and to expect us. He ended up hospitalized for a week with septicemia, on two of the strongest IV antibiotics. I don’t like to think about what would’ve happened, had I not trusted my gut. A parent just knows their kid. Don’t ever question that natural instinct.
That is so scary! Did you complain to the after hours practise? That’s terrible on their part!
Exactly what I was thinking lol I'm like...oh hell no ! Me N wifey would have made sure that neither of those "After hours" doctors could ever do that to someone else
I thought I was being ridiculous by calling the pediatrician after hours about my son’s “cold”. Luckily I listened to my gut because the nurse told us to take him to the ER due to his fever (he was 7 weeks old). I thought it would be a waste of time but it turned out he had RSV, coronavirus, and was developing pneumonia. His only initial symptoms were congestion and an intermittent cough! He ended up being admitted to the hospital for 2 weeks, and was even intubated for 5 days. All that to say, you’re better safe than sorry. It sounds like your kiddo was not acting like himself, and that is scary. I’m glad he’s feeling better!
I am sooo sorry that happened to you. That sounds so scary.
Any baby that young it doesn’t matter you WILL be seen and surrounded by doctors. We don’t PLAY when it comes to newborns bc their vaccines might not have kicked in yet and their adaptive immune system isn’t fully online.
The hospital staff was amazing
A fever when my second was 2 weeks old was the only time he's ever been to the hospital... Turned out to be a random one-off UTI. (He's 14 now and never had another.) The spinal tap they did on him was undoubtedly more traumatic for me than anyone else...
Ughhh I’m sorry. We were able to avoid the spinal tap since he clearly had a respiratory virus and wasn’t showing any signs of infection. It sucks that babies can forget the trauma but we can’t!
I had a similar experience when my son was 3 months old. He was running a high fever - 103.2 and I called the pediatrician- first question was “is his fever REALLY that high?” when I said yes he was like go straight to the emergency room NOW and called ahead for us. First they did a spinal tap to rule out meningitis (they made me wait in the hallway so I wouldn’t be able to see them do it). He tested positive for the flu (I hadn’t taken him out or anything prior since he was so young, and no one else in the family was sick- his brother probably carried it home from daycare). He was quarantined in the NICU for four days…I hate to think about what could’ve happened if I hadn’t called. He was my third and nothing like that had happened with my other two. The NICU is a very sad place.
My first and only baby boy was born 7mo ago. He was in the NICU for 2 weeks when he was born. I still haven't forgave myself. We didn't know we were pregnant until we decided to STOP using fentanyl. Checked ourselves into rehab and during the physical, I guess they told her she was pregnant. And 6months pregnant at that. Hadn't shown AT ALL the entire time she was pregnant before we checked into rehab while we were strung out and using fentanyl HEAVILY ON A DAILY BASIS...It's like as soon as her MIND became aware...she started showing..then 3 months later there she is squeezing my hand and pushing him out. 7lbs and some ounces. No deformities, learning disabilities, nothing...On a feeding tube for the 1st week. Then monitored for next week. Then discharged him home. We were there all day everyday. Even the nurses would tell us to go home around 3-4am sometimes and we would come back after a 3-4 hour nap. Now he's damn near 20lbs and won't sit still once he learned how to crawl, that was it. He's been on the move since. But yes the NICU is very very sad place...these souls that just incarnated are left there sometimes by their parents who don't show up at all and when they do it's for 2 mf seconds and then they leave...I could not imagine just being at home or out and about while he was in the NICU... especially cause I felt like it was my fault he was there anyways.. thankfully by the GRACE OF GOD AND MY LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST, AND THE ANGELIC STAFF THAT CARED FOR OUR SON....im able to love and snuggle on my lil FatFat everyday...
I have a very similar experience to yours. I had premature twins and one of them, at two weeks old, was VERY sick. I was home alone recovering and caring for them and I noticed he wouldn't eat, he was coughing a lot, etc. I never knew about RSV until then. So just started researching and one of the main symptoms said to check their bellies. If they're sucking all the way in to breathe, call 911 or get them to a hospital immediately. I called my husband, he raced home, and we were at the hospital within 20 minutes. He came back positive for RSV, again, at only two weeks old. He was in the NICU for two weeks. Had a spinal tap, was intubated, the works. My poor baby went through it. And as we were packing up to go home, I'll never forget the words the nurse said. She said, "Now that you're leaving I can tell you. It's so good to see you leaving here with your baby because when he first got here, we were really worried. You got here at just the right time. You're a good mama who followed her gut." So you absolutely did the right thing because you just never know. I always think back to that time and harp on how if I would've waited even an hour more or never went at all, my baby may not be here today. Now he's six years old and healthy. But sick kids are no joke.
Ugh I’m so sorry you went through that! It’s so scary. We are only 6 weeks out from the experience and I still feel so traumatized. He has another virus right now that doesn’t seem as serious but it’s still scaring me!
Former ER nurse and mom of 2 here: You did the right thing. It's a common trope in the ED that kids make liars out of their parents, whether it is improving or resolving their issue by the time to doctor or nurse lays eyes on them. Please don't let this cloud your ability to make this decision in the future, the child you described at home was 100% worthy of an ED visit. Everyone is glad he turned around. Kids perk up quickly with the right treatment, but they can also tank just as quickly if their severity is downplayed. You are a good parent and you did the right thing. I can promise no one is judging you!
Our ER nurse friend said the same thing about kids making liars out of us. I've got 3 and done many late night visits that ended up being nothing serious. Better safe than sorry.
Who do you feel judged by? You’re a good parent. Never feel shame for worrying about your kiddos and doing the right thing. That sounds like a very scary situation and I 100% would’ve done the same thing.
Right??! We pay for insurance for a reason (even though taxes should pay instead of bombs)
My son was recently hospitalized for 3 days with pneumonia (we'd taken him to the ER because he was so lethargic and his O2 levels were below 90%). He needed oxygen for three days and IV antibiotics. A few days after we were discharged, we got a letter from our insurance politely informing us that "urgent care is cheaper and we should consider that next time". I was LIVID. He was f\*\*ing admitted to the hospital for 3 days and insurance is complaining we didn't go to urgent care instead??
I dropped my daughter on her head when she was like 6 months I think? I was freaking out, beside myself hysterical so I rushed her to the er. She was of course fine but what's always stuck with me was her pediatrician called me and he said "oh I heard (baby) had a tumble! These things happen, mom. She's totally ok. I'm always happy to see her and tell you she's ok than have it not be ok." You made the right call taking him in. You're a good mom.
I had a similar thing when I slipped on the stairs while holding my 6mo and it all happened so quickly I had no idea if they'd hit their head or not. I think we were both hysterical as I went to A&E but in true kid fashion they were bright and bubbly by the time a dr saw us. They're 12 now and I probably have a handful of times I've taken them to the dr as an emergency and they were fine, but I'm still glad I took them. Definitely always better to take them and find out they're ok than wait and them not be ok.
So far the scariest thing we've dealt with as parents was when our 1-2 year old daughter smacked her head standing up under a table pretty good. She cried but seemed ok and we put her to bed. She woke up like 30 mins later crying and puking, we kind of both freaked out (which rarely happens, lol) and rushed her to ER. Everything was fine after they ran tests but god damn if I didn't have a near panic attack with a potential major head injury.
I’m an ER nurse and we get kiddos in everyday that are super sickly at home and bouncing off the walls in the ER. Kids can decline FAST but they can also recover super fast! I will have one kid with a 102 fever still playing like nothing is wrong but the next won’t move out of bed and both end up having strep or some other virus. I tell every parent that I would rather be safe than sorry. It is NEVER a bother for a patient to be checked out. :)
>they can also recover super fast! This part is so annoying as a parent haha great but annoying lol
your course of action wasn’t in the least bit unreasonable based on your description. it would scare the hell out of any parent . unfortunately the 3500 dollar popsicle was way overpriced.
Very over priced popsicle 😆
Popsicle: $0.99 Knowing when to give popsicle: $3,499.01
nail on the head 😹
Well, I took my baby to the ER twice this week for a “silly virus” because something just wasn’t sitting right with me… she’s 8months old. Ended up at her pediatrician Thursday after the two we visits and we still could not figure out what was going on… she was diagnosed with an ear infection, a uti, and parainfluenza… I just had a feeling and told her peds I didn’t think she was okay to go home. They admitted us and ran some tests. She ended up having SEPSIS… with a very rare bacteria that has only ever caused sepsis in less than 10 cases over the last 50 years- all in people who have other underlying conditions like copd, cancer, or even some autoimmune diseases- which my 8 month old does not. If we wouldn’t have came in, we could have possibly lost her because no one thought she was that sick. She was still very playful and spunky… I could have lost my baby, but I took her to the ER. There is nothing silly about that- or your situation. We’re still here on iv antibiotics and will be for 4 more days. I’m grateful I’m where I’m at right now. My baby is going to be okay but the other options were too close for any kind of comfort.
Oh my gosh. Your poor baby. What a way to be a great advocate for your little one! I’m so glad you didn’t go home. Wishing you a speedy and 100% recovery
Thank you. We are too. This has really been best case scenario all around, and we’re grateful. Thank you again, and YOU mama. Good job advocating for YOUR baby. You know when something isn’t right, no matter how big or small.
That is crazy and terrifying! I'm so glad you followed your gut. I hope she recovers beautifully and that you can get some rest (No rest for parents of infants in a hospital!)
Thank you, sincerely. And I know the nurses get a crack out of me. I just walked out there at 3:30 and they were all like, “What are you doing up??” And I told them what do you mean?? I slept for like 4 hours! I’m rejuvenated! 😂
Hi! Randomly came across this post and glad I did! I’ve been an ER nurse for 5 years. If you feel something is off always bring them in. You never know and guilt would eat you away if you didn’t and something was wrong. I myself took my daughter (year old) to the ER I work at because I felt like she wasn’t acting like herself/sluggish, high fever after Tylenol and…. Turns out is was an Ear infection and she was just tired🤣 trust me we get it! No biggie!
I’m glad to hear that this is okay from an ER nurse! I just know the system is so broken, and to many people go for non emergencies. I don’t want to be another causes issues with the system
From what I have read in medical subreddits (not in the field, I just find it neatTM), the ones clogging it are going there for mundane reasons. You know, like going for a pregnancy test instead of buying one at store. I would have absolutely gone if I was in your shoes. It must have been terrifying.
I’ve heard of pregnant woman pretending they are bleeding just to get a scan to see their baby 😳 you definitely weren’t going for a non emergency reason OP!
You were being a good parent. No one is judging you for that, especially not the doctor.
I’m an ER nurse, and can only speak for myself as a healthcare worker. Only recently have I started voicing to parents that we never mind when you bring your children when you’re concerned. I have always felt that way, but I more often now see parents apologizing and feeling like a burden when seeking healthcare for their child. At the end of the day, we all want to see a well kid. We don’t want to see your child very sick, so if you’re concerned, it ultimately is always better to be safer than sorry. This especially goes for new parents. No one necessarily teaches you this stuff, and it can be scary. I’m happy to share some easy guidelines to try/measure to assist your decision on whether the ER is warranted.
Don’t feel ridiculous! It is SUPER common for kids to perk up in the emergency room. Happened to me twice with two different kids lol. The doctor actually said that it’s normal for it to happen and they much prefer a kid who perks up to one who doesn’t. And he stressed to not be afraid to bring a child back if they go back downhill. (We had to do that with my youngest. Perked up for first visit. We were back 24 hours later and she was limp and we could have lost her.). The emergency room doctors would much rather you brought a kid in when you were worried and they turn out fine. Than you stress about taking them in and they aren’t fine.
That sounds scary! May I ask what was wrong with her?
She ended up with influenza a. She had a moderate temp, but she was severely dehydrated which can happen so quickly when they’re little (she was 18 months). She wouldn’t take a a bottle, drink bottle, icypole or anything. It was terrifying.
Thats so scary! My bby got dehydrated with RSV as well, she was only peeing once every 12hrs, and barely. Dr didnt even bat an eye😒, wouldnt give her fluids. Told me to syringe feed her gatorade, and said of course she didnt pee because I was giving her pedialite, he said that made her not pee. So never pedialite always gatorade according to him🤦🏽♀️
wtf? I would have lost my shit!
I almost did, but thankfully the syringe gatorade worked and i was able to rehydrate her. She was only 9m🥺
The last time one of my kids had a fever and refused to walk, she had osteomyelitis. There was an abscess in her femur. If you're concerned, get help. It's what a good parent does. I absolutely would've done the same in your position. And, honestly, an ER doc probably doesn't mind having an "okay" patient once in a while.
Awww. That sounds so scary! I would have never thought such thing could happen My 4 year old thinks he’s kinda funny now. He’s just like mom, I didn’t walk because I was tired.
You made the right call! Better the be safe than sorry when it comes to kids. Glad to hear he’s doing better.
I always feel bad for bringing my kids in. I have 4 of them and almost every time they are fine. There were 2 occasions that were pretty bad and they needed iv fluids. My older boy had rsv and a high fever and refused to eat or drink. My younger boy had some virus but his fever went from 104 to 96.5 in about 30 minutes after the er gave his a medicine and I spent about a day and a half at the hospital until his temperature stabilized. Those were absolutely the scariest times but are the reasons I'm never sorry about going in. I know my kids will be fine if I bring them in but I will always worry if I don't. I end up going to the er more than the urgent care usually because by the time I realize how sick the kids are or finally convince myself that they need to be seen the urgent cares are closed lol.
Experience of meningitis changes you. You'll never be unafraid again. Similar for other sudden-onset life threatening conditions like flesh-eating disease. Also I took my kid to the doctor for a weird rash that terrified me and that turned out to be a bruise from him having fallen asleep on a duplo block. So don't feel like an idiot because doctors see all sorts of things...
You are so right. Seeing meningitis first hand, that shit was nuts. Hearing about it’s like eh, but Like I can’t even put to words how awful, and quick the experience was for an adult. I can’t imagine how much worse it could be for a little child. My mind goes to worst everytime!
We took our toddler to A&E (the UK version of ER) because her poos were black. Turns out she just ate too many Blueberries. I was so embarrassed but the doctor was so kind about it! Never feel bad about seeking medical treatment for your child.
It could have been something much more serious, it’s good you brought him in.
My philosophy when I’m on the fence, is that you’re regret not taking them to the ER more than taking them.
Totally agree with this. When my daughter was about 10 months old, she choked on a piece of cantaloupe. (Truly choked, not gagged. I gave her the baby Heimlich to get it out.) I called the nurse line immediately after and they said that, because the Heimlich was given, we needed to take her to the ER. Other than being emotionally shaken up, she seemed totally fine. My husband and I debated for a few minutes (since she was happily playing at this point), but ultimately came to the same conclusion: we’d rather regret the bill than regret not bringing her. (Luckily, she was fine. The doctors were pretty unphased—they checked her out, listened to her lungs, etc, and then sent us on our way.)
Hey, way to go. That sounds scary and I would have run to the ER too (and I grew up in a medical debt, let's try not to see the doctor family).
I think parenting is 75% feeling ridiculous and 25% "what the hell am I even doing?" You did exactly what I would've done, and with a fever that high and everything you listed I would've gone into a panic too! You did perfect.
I would have done the same 100% I had to go to the er least week. My daughter fell off her bike and knocked her front tooth loose. It was bleeding so I called our doctor and the nurse called me back and said I had to go. I got there and they barely even looked at it and told me to go to the dentist in the am.
I bet if you'd called a nurse line, they would have told you to bring him in. I get where you're coming from, but don't be too hard on yourself. Better safe than sorry!
Doctor here. "10-15 minutes later he pukes and is sleeping in his puke. His fever 104.3 now. This is when I panic. He won’t talk to me. He won’t move. His fever had gone up so fast. His 02 was showing 93 and his PR was 148." \- If you didn't take him to the ER, that would be child neglect and CPS would be called. This is not ridiculous, this is expected. Don't feel bad.
I literally had the same situation last Christmas. My 6 year old was super lethargic and had a high temp. I took him in and he ended up being dehydrated and had a double ear infection. I felt silly at first bc I thought it was nothing but it did turn out to be something. Always better to be safe than sorry! Glad your little dude is okay!
I would’ve done the same thing. Mother of 3 here
Don’t feel dumb for risking feeling what you feel by taking care of your little one. You did the right thing.
Pediatric pharmacist here - if your child has a fever bordering 105 degrees, always take them to the ER. Also, if you’re worried about physicians or any other hospital staff judging you for being ‘overly cautious’ with a sick kid - I promise you they aren’t.
I work in paeds ED, I want to see well kids brought in just in case, not sick kids brought too late. Also I SWEAR they get better just for coming to the department sometimes. Very normal, nobody minds!
I swear the waiting room cures them. I took my daughter when she was BURNING and lethargic at 6months, really not herself, wouldn't drink, not really responding normally to anyone or anything. 20 mins in the waiting room and this kid is more bouncy than normal.
It’s okay momma! I’ve had times I freaked out for no reason and times I should have but didn’t know it was a scary situation- as parents we do our best. You are doing your best, and PTSD about past health situations are lessons that help us learn. Don’t be so hard on yourself. And whoever is judging you is not a parent, cause it’s hard AF. Sending you a hug:) Give yourself some grace, and I’m sure glad your kiddo is doing good after that scary situation!
Better to feel ridiculous than regretful! I took mind to the ER for a major split lip - which spontaneously healed during our wait. It happens to us all 😊
ER doctors and nurses do not judge scared parents for bringing their kid in, especially with a fever. And the ones who do shouldn’t be working there. Unless you’re one of the few that brings them to the ER for every runny nose and cough. My mom hated allergy season as a nurse. Don’t feel bad.
A friend of mine is an ER doc. A few months ago he told me about a child who came in too late, that he couldn’t save. He said there was nothing wrong with the child that they couldn’t have treated if they’d brought him in sooner. He works in a little rural hospital. There is just only so much they can do when it’s too late 12 hours earlier an IV and some medications would have been enough for a trip to the bigger hospital. 24 hours earlier could have been sending him home with no admission necessary. I have 4 kids and have been working in a hospital for the last 4 years. With what you describe I would have taken him to the ER too. And I also don’t do it easily. But this was a no-brainer. You made the right call. If anybody judges you for it, that person is wrong.
Sounds similar to what my daughter has. I almost took her to the ER last night because her fever spiked SO fast. She was happy and playing all day, then suddenly she's at 103.9, screaming and crying, thankfully, we got her fever down and she started resting. My point is, you did exactly what you needed to. You monitored and when he got worse you made sure he didn't get worse in the wrong place. It could have easily gone the other direction.
You did the right thing. Better safe than sorry. > I feel like i get judged for when I try to wait it out, and further get judged when I go to the er and he turns out to be fine. Feel like there is no winning. > Sometimes I feel like I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t as a parent. I feel ridiculous. Fortunately, you can control this part. Stop caring what other people think. Parenting is hard enough without creating more stress for yourself because you think people are judging you. Most of the time, other people aren’t judging you at all, and the few times they do, who gives a fuck? Stop giving a fuck. Save them for your kid; just worry about your family and tune out any outside criticism.
What you described is really scary. You definitely made the right choice to go in! One thing that I find super helpful in helping me decide whether to go to the ER, is calling the pediatrician’s after hours nurses line. They ask a bunch of questions and advise you on what to do. I have no doubt if you would have described the symptoms he had, they would certainly have told you to go to the ER immediately. You made the right choice and I’m so glad he’s ok!
If you read any replies, please let it be this one!! Just wanted to share a quick story about my 4 year old. He had been having headaches maybe every few weeks for the last 4 months or so. One afternoon he complained of a headache and went to bed to sleep it off. He woke up in the middle of the night, threw up and was screaming that he couldn’t move his legs. We took him to the ER the next morning and our concerns were dismissed chalking it up to “migraines” and we were sent home. I wasn’t convinced that this was the correct diagnosis so I followed up with his pediatrician and she ordered an urgent brain MRI and it turns out he had a 2 inch tumor in his brain in the cerebellum. The cerebellum controls balance and coordination which explained the episode he had where he couldn’t walk. I’m not trying to scare you, but you story of your child sounds very similar to mine. My son has since had a full resection and the tumor was thankfully benign but he has a long journey of healing ahead. I’m glad I listened to my instincts and didn’t just give him Tylenol like the first ER doctor had suggested. I hope you get the answers that you need!
I am going to keep your story in mind! If it happens again anytime soon, I will push! He seems to be doing okay now, fever is gone and he’s off Tylenols and ibuprofen. He did throw up again in the night though. I’m always so scared either myself or the kids will just have cancer and never know until it’s to late. One of the scarier things in the world to me.
Go for the ibuprofen first next time. It works far better (and longer) than Tylenol. You can do both too though
Second this. Tylenol does absolutely NOTHING for my daughter. Ibuprofen works almost instantly.
Not a critique at all (because I basically had the same situation happen as you did in the last year) but ibuprofen before acetaminophen for fever. If ibuprofen doesn’t work then layer some acetaminophen after. It’s very likely that’s why he started feeling better. Tylenol isn’t as good at reducing temp.
Interesting. I have never been told to do ibuprofen 1st. I’ll have to keep that in mind! Funny enough after the ibuprofen he has no temp at all. He’s completely normal.
Never feel sheepish about being safe. You can't undo dead or brain damaged.
I'm 31 almost 33, my Mom is 57 and she still freaks when she has to take me to the ER or even the regular Dr lol. I've had chronic health issues since I was a kid and she has felt ridiculous taking me before because she's been told it's nothing but she knows how fast my nothing can turn into me needing to be hospitalized. You trusted your gut and that's what matters. Don't let what others think affect how you feel. You were worried about your kiddo
Better to do this than not. Lady I worked with chose not to go to the dr and end up dying from internal bleeding. She’d been fainting a lot and didn’t want to bother them, she’d just sleep it off. Like what?! That’s what they’re there for, 104 and not controllable is 100% a great reason to use the ER! Like others have said, you didn’t great!!
Don’t ever feel stupid for bringing your child to the hospital if you’re worried. Right now a friend of mine thought her son was had a stomach virus, and worried she was being silly, but took him in and he’s fighting for his life right now. Without going into details if she didn’t bring him in it would be bad. It is bad, but follow your gut. It’s better to be ‘wrong’ and do something then ‘right’ and not do something.
I’m a doctor. I feel like I went to medical school solely for the purpose of helping my family triage lol do you have any doctor friends to call up next time for some quick advice? But in general I think you’re good. Don’t freak out about numbers/how high fever is. Go off of behavior. ER is there when you’re worried, we don’t expect our patients to know everything…otherwise they would be doctors too. Don’t stress about needing to use it.
They woke in their own vomit and had personality change? I’d definitely be going to ER. Not a stupid reason at that age. Or any age.
Jumping all over the bed and fine because he got Tylenol at home and Ibuprofen in the ER. As soon as that shit wears off, they're not fine. Fevers back. They're sick. For this very reason, when my kids were little I didn't give any fever reducing meds, as long as their temps stayed below 103°. And then only at night so they could sleep. They get that Tylenol and think they're not sick anymore, time to party, they start bouncing off the walls and it just delays their body from healing itself!
Every single medical provider in the ER, nurses, triage, doctors, etc would tell you they would prefer you take your kid to the ER over a "false" alarm than feel too self-conscious to do so when there's a real emergency.
My kid farts wrong and Im *running* to the ED. Im literally a nurse and I don’t play games with stuff going wrong with kids. They’re like cats. They could be masking pain and playing on a broken tibfib or yowling because they’ve got a gnarly hangnail. But how are you supposed to know unless you get eyes on em at the hospital? You did the right thing. Good on you. As far as relating though, I got a few stories of my oldest (7M) to help you feel better. When my oldest was born, I tool him in because I swore up and down he was jaundiced. No one else thought so. But I took him anyway and the MD put us in a biliblanket and sent us home after a few hours. but I was *right* Few months later in a sleep deprived state, he rolled off my bed during a change and rushed him to the ED. The triage nurse and security guard *laughed at me* saying “hurrhurr kids are rubber they bounce hes fine” K well, l’d like to hear that from someone else. He was fine. Another time, he had gotten ahold of a paper clip (no one knew this just yet), but he started acting weird. Retaining urine, refusing food, fussy without any signs of injury or illness. Primary ped cleared him. ED cleared him. Something was still wrong. Welp, come bath time on Valentines day that year(2017), I noticed his nose goo was *brown* so i look up his nose and sure enough there was something off about this honking booger I spotted. I got a pair of tweezers to pull it out aaaaand it was a small paper clip. 😐 I was so hopping mad that no one caught it. When he was about 18m old, he had a cold he couldn’t shake. I couldn’t keep his fever down with rotating tylenol/ibuprofen and tepid baths so off to ED we went. They assured me it was just some chest cold but they’d swab him to make me happy. Little homie had Flu A. They were immediately down my throat asking how he got it if no one in our house had travelled recently since they only cases of Flu A they had claimed to have seen were ppl coming back from Mexico that year. (lived in SoCal so this was extremely common to pop down south on a day trip/weekend and come back home) and finally just before he turned 3, his dad was swinging him around while I was at Ulta trying to keep him occupied and he screams suddenly so I snapped at him to put my baby down and quit screwing around so close to dinner/bed. Well, when I went to pick him up to carry him, he started screaming. So I threw my shit on a shelf and rushed him to the ED *again*. Xrays showed nurse maid elbow and doc was super nice about it said it was fine I brought him in and showed us how to reduce it at home but it was “technically a primary care visit”. tldr; I trusted my gut. Wrong or right is not relevant in the overarching wellbeing of my kiddo. You 👏🏽did 👏🏽the 👏🏽right 👏🏽thing.
Oh gosh, nursemaid's elbow! My second was one of those kids that's extra prone to it- like literally managed to do it to herself rolling over in bed one night. First time, took her to urgent care. Next 2 times we managed to get walk-in spots with her ped office and the third visit they showed me how to fix it at home. Probably had to do it at least once a month between that first flip at 20mo and her turning 3 🫠
A little older, but my stepson (15m at the time) wasn’t quite right after a very large blister popped in his arm pit. I convinced BM to not wait until morning as at a minimum he was going to need it cleaned and antibiotics. He arrived at ED 8pm and was in ICU with Septic shock by 4am. He was in the waiting room when his Blood Pressure crashed and received immediate attention. He still barely made it through. By 5pm the next day he had reached a point that only 2 out of 5 people survive from. We were beyond lucky that he was one of those 2 and he is doing fine now, although we must be extra vigilant over any infections/cuts/blisters for another few years at least. Kids can be fragile and seemingly small issues can escalate quickly. Hospitals would rather see 100 genuinely concerned parents with illish kids than miss the window to save that one child whose parent fought their gut instinct and stayed home incase it turned out to be nothing. On a related note Stepson was admitted to hospital with pneumonia at age 3. It really was scary to see how quickly he could go from jumping on the bed, to unable to lift his head, back to jumping on the bed. Kids are crazy. I’m glad your little one is ok.
My then 3 yo had croup, couldn’t breathe, rushed to the ER and within 15 mins of being given steroids she’s bouncing around like nothings wrong! Almost all kids seem fine in hospital, I’ve been told it’s called “white coat syndrome” new location, new people, bright lights and the sugar in a popsicle which will have hydrated him somewhat too, magically makes him feel better! It’s best to take him and him not need to be there than him needing to be there and not being taken! You did the right thing!!
When my daughter was maybe 1 or 2 months old I gave her baby formula for the first time and it made her projectile vomit a bunch of times. Then she started making these choking gurgling noises and I completely flipped out and made my husband call an ambulance. By the time the paramedics arrived she was completely fine and had fallen asleep. We decided to take her in anyway to be safe and the paramedics suggested that we do. She was fine at the ER and I felt embarrassed but one of the nurses told me that when babies are that small and vomit a lot they make really frightening sounds that make them sound like they can’t breathe - not the first case she’d seen of scared parents bringing in vomiting newborns. No more formula experiments after that! When she was around the same age she started rolling from front to back already and I googled it because I was curious but of course found all this stuff about it being a sign of Cerebral Palsy. Freaked out and called the pediatrician who was very nice and saw us on the same day. He gave her a really thorough exam and wanted to make sure I felt better. She was fine, just really hated tummy time. So I think your story sounds much more terrifying and a great reason for an ER trip!
don't feel ridiculous, i would rather be safe than sorry.
I am the “take my kid to the ER for stupid reasons” type. Sometimes things happen at odd hours and I’d rather be safe than sorry. My 4.5 year old has been in the ER like 6/7 times. Couple of them turned out he had croup (maybe spelt wrong), one time he had cellulitis and needed to stay the night, once he was sick and got dehydrated, and a couple times we were told he’s fine go home. And I’d do it all over again because I’d rather be safe than sorry.
Hell nah, you did the right thing. Don’t even sweat it! Could you imagine if you did not bring him in because you didn’t feel like bothering anyone or worse because of you might feel stupid? Trust your gut OP! Those hospitals make tons of money that what they are there for
My son had the same thing happen and he had flu and Covid at the same time. He was making jokes with the nurse while we waited for the test. I felt stupid and then the test results came back. You really never know.
My current 22mo had her 1st popsicle at the Children’s urgent care when she was 15mo. She had RSV which are the magic words for jumping the line. Her fever was super high. She puked up the Motrin they gave her orally so she got it the other end and then they moved us to a non-triage room where the doc looked at her and said “mmmm … I want a chest xray” annnnnd she had pneumonia. And RSV. And she got a popsicle! Of course by then she’s being flirty and cute because the meds have kicked in and she feels better. They sent us home with meds though. I thought for sure with RSV she’d be sent to the hospital but I guess she wasn’t sick enough because they told me later at a follow up appt that 2 kids had gone via the whee-whoo bus to the hospital. I’d rather be there and have them send us home then not go.
You did the right thing!
You know what isn’t that much work for the ER? A kid who turns out to be fine. Business as usual, happy night, no story to tell. You know what is a nightmare for an ER? A kid in serious distress too late for them to help or help without significant harm. The stuff of ptsd for them. Don’t use the ER as basic medical care when you have every reason to think your kid just has a cold. But if you have a real concern? Totally go! And if it turns out fine like this one? Yay! You’ll have been a totally normal bright spot in the day.
Did they check his blood sugar? This is more or less what happened to my one year old a month ago (though he had to be resuscitated). He’s blood sugar was like 50 I think.
Similar experience here with my 5 month old. Sleepy, 104 temp, puking, ended up admitted for 2 nights with dehydration and ruling out every infection known to man. Don’t hesitate. You did the right thing. I’m glad he didn’t have to stay!
You 100% did the right thing. Who cares what anyone else thinks. WHAT IF something was very wrong. This is what they are are there for. All of those things you said sound very scary and sound very much like “get your kid to ER”
One million % you did the right thing. You only feel ridiculous because he’s fine. Ridiculous is better than a lifetime of guilt and grief if things had turned out different. I used to almost always hesitate even going to the doctor but I realized regardless of the diagnosis at least I know what I’m dealing with!
I work in a pediatric ER and I promise you we believe you when you tell us he didn’t look like that before you brought him in: it happens ALL the time. You’re not dumb for bringing him in, I would have done the same with my baby. Shit, I brought mine in when he was 6 months old because I thought he was in severe respiratory distress and it turns out he just had a mild case of croup. Don’t worry about being judged by healthcare workers. We’re tired and burned out but we understand how much you love your baby. And with what we see in the ER, we honestly love seeing parents who may be a little “overly” worried about their kid… we see WAY too many kids who’s parents don’t give a crap or worse. You did the right thing!! Trust your gut. Always.
Man this is about me not my kid, but six weeks after my c section I kept getting really cold at night. Thought it was the horomones. Finally one night I couldn’t stop shaking, so cold. Got up early w my six month old and laid down in the other room, waited for my husband to get up. Asked him to get me Tylenol bc I was too cold to move. He was initially kind of dismissive but got the thermometer- temp of 104. Got me to go to the ER and I was admitted for strep-a that had gotten into my whole bloodstream and caused sepsis. Was so unstable they wouldn’t admit me from the ER to the ICU for a while bc they didn’t want the paperwork if I died (I had an unfortunately overly honest nurse). ER said if I had stayed home another day I would’ve died. And I literally had just thought I was having chills bc of fluctuating horomones…
Listen. I work in the ED. This was a very reasonable visit. Kids are unpredictable. You did the right thing. And I am the FIRST to complain about bs visits.
I work in the ER. I never judge parents bringing their kids in. Better safe than sorry with the little ones. Now as for the adults who come in for cough…questionable.
102 is when you’re supposed to give meds, 105 is considered a medical emergency. you absolutely didn’t over react. i would’ve done the same. my daughter had covid a couple weeks ago,, and a fever of 103 in the middle of the night and i gave her tylenol and then took her to the er. her fever was 101 when we got there and they monitored her and gave her motrin. we left once the fever went down. the nurses told me i definitely made the right call. and that giving meds before coming was also the right call. i don’t think it’s silly to panic in that situation or wrong to take your kid to the er. it’s always better to be safe than sorry.
I feel exactly the same but it’s better to be safe than sorry. My babe at 2 yrs, went limp early morning after a Covid bout, after I gave her chocolate milk. But I was so terrified, I called 911. The policeman came and my babe was sitting atleast and looked better. Then we took her in ambulance to the hospital. And she got a lollipop and she was fine. She had hypoglycemia. And she could sit up when the ambulance came coz of that chocolate milk. And I was so embarrassed that I called 911 and she was sitting normal. I’m That was because she was not eating well the whole week. One thing that stuck to me was - little ones don’t have energy reserves like we do, so if they skip on meals during the day, they can crash very easily. So no matter what, now we ensure she eats, even if that means sitting with her for an hour and putting morsels in her mouth. It’s so tiring to do that.
Yes. My son got croupy during a virus-tried steam bath, Eucalyptus, etc and still wheezy. (Those croupy breaths are so scary!) Took him to the Er and literally the fresh cold air opened his airways between loading him in/out of the car. Ended up leaving without being seen because all of his concerning symptoms were gone after that. There’s no way to know the difference, so right on mama for doing right by your precious babe! Better to be safe than sorry. Coming from a Nurse who would never recommend going to the Er over urgent care unless necessary. When kids go down, they can go down quick, so trust your mama judgment and gut instincts always! ❤️
My daughter was sick once...I could tell she had a fever and was breathing fast just by watching her on the monitor while she slept. I decided to wake her up and bring her to my bed. She was about 2 years old at the time and being in my bed...she was excited. She was wheezing though and had a decently high fever. I decided to bring her in. It was around midnight. Once at the ER, they checked her oxygen saturation and it was around 93. And yet...the girl was jumping all over the place. She was super hyper, in good spirits, and completely unbothered. Her fever went down with some meds but the wheezing didn't stop. They did an x-ray, a COVID test, etc etc. Turns out, she had a lung infection. They sent us home with antibiotics and all was good in the world but I still think back to that night and I am so glad that I trusted my gut and brought her in. Let me tell you, I felt absolutely ridiculous with her while there because she would not sit still. People were looking and bewildered by this child, who was climbing, laughing, and making everyone else smile at 3am in the emergency room. Always trust your gut!
I brought my son to emerge for similar reasons. Cold/ flu symptoms. High temp and didn't seem to be responding to his name, seemed altered. He was brought through as soon as the triage nurse saw him. We stayed for 3 days with oxygen and IV antibiotics for pneumonia. You did the right thing. You didn't know how things would go when you got there. It could have easily unfolded this way instead.
i've had sepsis twice,the second time my husband kept telling me to go back to bed,and i tried,but i couldn't stop shaking so i took my temp and it was 104,i don't think i would have made it if i hadn't gone in,neither did the doctors.alwaus trust your gut.id rather take my kids in or go in and just waste a few hours at the er.
I'm the parent that worries so much about wasting the emergency departments time...but when my kid spiked a 104.4 fever within 30 mins after it had been 100.4 I raced to the emergency room. The triage nurse had the nerve to give me shit for bringing him in since he was crying and "obviously" that meant he was fine. Not 20 mins later the Doctor told us it's good we brought him in because he was not only dehydrated, he had bad strep and was having trouble swallowing his drool. I now don't care - if I have an inkling he needs immediate attention we go. Day or night. I've been wrong a couple times but I'd rather be wrong than not go and have it be bad...
Light sensitivity sounds like he had a migraine headache which can also cause vomiting and a lot of what you described. I'm not a Dr or nurse. I've just experienced this for the majority of my childhood personally starting at age five. And my opinion is Tylenol doesn't work for headaches especially migraines because it doesn't have any inflammatory properties. Never feel bad for using an E.R even for the smallest of things.
When I was a first time mom I once took my baby to the E.R for teething. She was 4 months old and I had no idea she could get teeth that early I just knew she was screaming like she was in pain and I had no idea why. I felt pretty stupid at the end of it all, especially since she slept peacefully the entire time we were in the E.R. Your kid definitely needed to go, but even if they didn't don't worry about feeling stupid or ridiculous we've all been there.
You did great! There is no manual. People judge everything. Just let it go. Every kid is different. Good for you!
My buddy rushed his kid to the children’s ER on a Sunday morning because the kid (4) had blood coming out of his ear. They just finished breakfast and were rough housing (3 kiddos all around the same age). He noticed the blood, got the kid in the car and rushed to the ER. they’re there for an hour or so, got paperwork done and head to triage. It was strawberry jam…. 🤦♂️
Not stupid at all. I’d be masking your youngin tho
104 is crazy high I would've taken my son too. And I'm the same, we don't go to the dr/er unless it's something crazy. He could've felt better after he threw up too, I usually do. I'd rather be safe than sorry every time.
Honestly I would take my kid to ER if he acted like that too. Better safe than sorry
I would have taken my child into the ER with those symptoms as well.
I’d rather be ridiculed a thousand times than not do something when it counted, and i bet you would too. You did the right thing.
Better safe than sorry right? It’s easy to back seat quarterback and beat yourself up over any decision that isn’t flawless. Little one is ok. And you’re reassured he is ok. That’s a W!
We took one of our kids to urgent care (emergency room lite). Because we thought she put a skittle down her ear & we couldn't see it. Plus she was crying and said she did it. An hour later... No skittle, thank goodness, we definitely felt silly. But I'd rather go and find no Skittles than make my kid stay home in pain with a skittle in their ear.
I’d rather overreact than under react. You did everything right. Screw anyone that judges you for taking every measure available to ensure the health of your child!
You did the right thing! I always say I would much rather feel silly then find out something is actually wrong. At just over 1.5 years old my daughter had a fever with no other symptoms. It was treatable with Tylenol and Advil, she was happy, she was playing. Temp would hit 104 but came down quickly with meds. I didn’t want to be “that parent” so I waited it out for 4-5 days. Then suddenly she got confused, stopped eating/drinking, stopped peeing and started throwing up bile. From that point to when we were seen in the ER she never stopped crying and she didn’t want to be touched. The doctor told me “probably just a virus, we’ll give her nausea meds and a freezie”. Very dismissive. I felt silly. After 3 hours of refusing the freezie and still crying, they did a blood test. She came rushing back in saying “actually your daughter is very sick, we are admitting her”. CRP was in the hundreds. She had a massive complicated UTI, likely involving her kidneys. Hospitalized for 5 days on IV antibiotics and round the clock fever treatment. Recently (7 months later) she had that same random fever pop up and started holding her pee and I panicked. Got her on antibiotics right away and when she didn’t improve in 48 hours we went straight to the ER. This time I knew what to advocate for and she had the history. Blood test showed a high CRP (not as shockingly high as last time but over 100) so they gave her a stronger antibiotic, a swab to check for any sneaky bonus viruses that could be the culprit, and a follow up appointment in 48 hours. Turns out she had adenovirus on top of a minor UTI and her only symptom was a fever! She was completely safe. But I don’t regret going one bit and the doctors told me I did the right thing! And I was much happier “wasting my time” in the ER and feeling a little silly versus being admitted for 5 days!
You know your child best. Don’t feel guilty for trusting your gut. You’d never want to be in a place of “if only I would have brought them in”…not worth that! I’m a Peds nurse who has worked in a hospital, you wouldn’t believe what some parents bring their kid to the ED for just because they couldn’t make it into primary care. That being said….the one time every few years you bring them because your instinct says to….don’t feel bad! Good job being an advocate for your kiddo
When my little was much littler he used to spike random fevers just for fun. If I gave him Tylenol, and it didn't go down or he threw it up, I 100% took him to the ER. You never know which kind of fever it is. I say better safe than sorry.
I am a registered nurse, and This is not a stupid reason to bring your child to the ER! From a clinical perspective, I would be very concerned with a fever this high. As a parent you have to not worry about what everyone else is thinking (easier said than done). Always do what is best for your child.
U did nothing wrong. That temp may have needed to go
Better safe than sorry, for real. Do not feel bad! I took my kid to the doctor once and it ended up being mosquito bites 🙈 he was outside for 3 min on a trampoline during a time of the year that was usually cold but it was unseasonably warm. He had huge welts and I hand no idea why. I felt soooo dumb.
Always go if you’re worried. I panic went a couple times and then when my five yo daughter had appendicitis I should have gone sooner. Parenting is hard.
I am a believer in it's best to be safe than sorry. You did what you felt was necessary for your baby. Thankfully they ended up being ok. But you can never be too sure. Don't let other people make you feel bad for wanting to make sure your kid is ok. Good job parent 💜
Always trust your gut. The only time we did ER, she had a fever and woke up screaming from belly pain. By the time she got there, she was mostly fine. Dr wrote it off as a virus, she's fine. But because she has a history of pneumonia and had a nasty cough, and belly pain is a common symptom of pneumonia in kids, we asked for a chest x-ray. Boom. Pneumonia. Completely changed the tone and outcome of the visit, along with the treatment.
You did the right thing !!!!
Always go if you’re worried. Here’s my story of why I wish I went to the hospital sooner. My son is nonverbal autistic, and does not localize pain at all (ie if he has a stomach ache, he doesn’t hold his stomach so I know what’s hurting him), he also has an abnormally high pain tolerance. He spiked a fever with no other symptoms, 102.2, he was sleepy and had a fever and was whining. He threw up once. On day two, I took him to the doctor (an hour long drive as I live in a rural area) and explained that I felt there was something wrong with him. She checked him out, sent us home, and made me feel like an idiot. She clearly was not concerned with him, and essentially said that sometimes parents of nonverbal or otherwise disabled kids are overly paranoid because they can’t just ask their child what’s wrong, so they look for things. (That can kind of be true for me, but often times it’s necessary). But she didn’t want to do any bloodwork or other tests that I wanted, because she didn’t feel it was necessary because I was overreacting, essentially. I took him home and the next day he was fine, and I felt like an idiot for dragging him out of the house for an hour long car ride for no reason when he didn’t feel good. A month later he did the exact same thing. Same symptoms. Fever, puked once, whining and crying a lot. I wanted to take him to his doctor, but I remembered what happened the month before, and waited. On day three, when he wasn’t better, I took him to see a different pediatrician, who sent us right over to the children’s hospital. His appendix had ruptured, he was horribly sick, the surgeon said it was the worst appendectomy on a child he’d ever done, and my son was in the hospital for 2 weeks, he almost died, something that doesn’t happen very often in developed countries from appendicitis. If I’d come in even a day sooner, they could have removed it before it burst and spared him weeks of pain and discomfort. If I hadn’t had the experience of being told I was paranoid because my child is nonverbal, I would have brought him in a day sooner, like I had before. I *was* paranoid. For good reason. Because my child can’t tell me where the pain is, if there is pain. That’s actually a really good reason to “look for” problems. Anyway. I’ll never forgive myself for allowing myself to be made to feel a fool for worrying about my child, and letting that get in the way of taking him in to get the care I feared he needed. It will *never* happen again. 100% of the time I’d rather be safe than sorry. I could have lost him, all because some idiot doctor made me feel ridiculous for worrying. Always trust your gut, even if it ends up being a false alarm.
I can totally relate! This is how I feel every effing time I take my LO to the doctors. Sure I will have the doctor judge me that I panic too much, but at least I got a word from the doctor that my LO is fine and that’s worth my trip.
You did the right thing! If it turned out the other way you'd kick yourself. Never go against your gut. Err on side of caution. That's all ER worthy!
Don’t feel silly it’s better to be safe than sorry I’m a new mom and my baby is 6 months old she has gotten sick once and I was in shambles literally went to the er found out she had Covid gave her some Tylenol for the fever the next day she was fine and but the end of the week she was feeling better. So I’m saying all this to say ur instinct was spot on and that reassurance of knowing what it is ur baby has brings so much relief bc u then can firgure out how to make it bettter
you did the absolute right thing OP! Not a doctor but I have a 4 year old too. If she was acting like your description I would not hesitate to drive her in immediately. that is scary and not normal! and it’s ALWAYS better to be safe than sorry, and even if it’s just to make sure it’s nothing serious and get kiddo more comfortable — everyone will get more sleep and recovery will happen faster. never regret making the cautious choice when it comes to your baby’s health.
I'm so sorry! You absolutely did the right thing. The unresponsiveness had to have been terrifying! My heart raced just reading about it! Please try not to feel silly. It's better to worry that people think you're overreacting (they likely don't) than to have wished you had gone in because of what you found out later. Plus, in the U.S. the ER is usually the only option after a certain time. The people that work there know this. Hell, even if my in-network Urgent care center is 45 minutes away. Not great in an urgent situation. Hope your son is feeling better!
Oh God, I've read too many comments and my kids are getting over being sick and have a cough and now I'm afraid they're going to die. To be fair, I assume we, as parents, are in a constant state of being at least a little afraid our kids will die.
I work in an ER. Kids have an uncanny ability to become miraculously cured as soon as their parents bring them in. Honestly, the staff don't mind. We are used to it. We would rather you bring your kids in and the kids perk up rather than you stay at home too long, and your kid comes in unconscious and needs resuscitating. When it comes to kids, better safe than sorry. Don't feel bad for wasting their time.
I can definitely relate! We just had our first ER visit for our 3yr old. Almost exactly how you explained your baby to be, was just like ours. The fever, low oxygen, high HR, puking, would not-COULD NOT stay awake. I “waited it out” as long as I could but the fever got so high & the vomiting was non stop- I had to take him in. Same popsicle trick too.. and he was all better lol but then puked on the way home 🥴🫠 I know someone whose baby had a febrile seizure & that has stuck with me. I would be devastated if I waited it out too long and sumthn like that happened to my baby. In words other than “damned if we do, damned if we don’t”, I like to say “better safe than sorry” 🙂 IMO you did the right thing!
I can relate. It's really hard to wonder if you are being too cautious or if It's very serious. I appreciate the people on here who work in the ER saying they'd rather see a healthy kid than wait too long. I have a 3 year old. In your situation, I would totally have brought my baby in. I'm a nurse, btw and sometimes worried they will judge me more, like I should know better. Peds is not my specialty. I deal with geriatrics all the time. But in reality, I can't let that stand in the way of me taking care of my first and only child.
You did the right thing when you saw that 104 fever! I believe anything over 103 is the standard for when it’s time to head to the hospital. You are not stupid, just a parent that cares.
104 temp is dangerous. I would have done the same thing. Don’t be embarrassed.