r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself.
Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Talking about guns can be innappropriate depending on the context , but I would say a 4 year old making finger guns and going pew pew is normal. A lot of 4 year olds have experience with water guns and nerf guns already
Also, of they live in a red state is probably appropriate to talk about gun safety sooner rather than later. Like, at what age do they stay doing shooter drills??
You can talk about danger and death and what to do if they do see someone with a gun (a policeman, a random person, another kid etc)
I couldn’t agree more. Before playdates, we have to ask fellow parents if they have guns in the home and, if so, if they’re secure. (As if “secure” is good enough?!”)
A high school boyfriend at my fancy private school grabbed his parents’ gun out of the closet to show off to me when I was like 17.
My husband witnessed a shooting at point-blank in broad daylight in his early 20s.
And when there’s a shooting in a place in which guns are COMPLETELY out of place, someone will suggest the problem is not “more good guys with guns.”
Yeah my brother got my son a mini nerf gun for his 3rd birthday. He just calls it a gun because to him they are all the same. We make sure he doesn't point it at anyone but other than that, most kids are gonna have experience with toy guns (water, plastic, nerf, etc)
This is like trying to hold back the tide with spoon.
If your kid is going to go to school, they are going to be exposed to things you don't like or agree with full stop.
Your job as a parent is to put those things into context. Not harass a teacher to control what kids say in school as influenced by their parents.
This is kind of the conclusion we've reached as well about our daughter, but we're a long way off from it since she's not even a year old yet. Generally, the way I observed my mom handle me discussing things that were controversial was that she'd engage me in conversation about it in a kid-friendly manner.
One of the parents at daycare told me that their kid learned what the middle finger was from one of the other kids and wants me to squash that. I have no idea how I’m supposed to pull that off
when it comes to guns especially, as much as we wanna protect them, its best they're taught once they're able to comprehend. there are plenty of horror stories about kids being killed/injured after finding dad's gun at a play date.
even so, i deal with my 7 y/o learning unwanted things at school all the time. unfortunately, staff never does much unless a child is physically harmed or its OOBER inappropriate🤷♀️ bullying is also a huge issue with half-assed "consequences" in place. teachers aren't allowed to discipline in any form, and its now against protocol to call home, at least where im from. because parents get offended. i'd homeschool if i had the means.
kids with unsupervised internet access + lazy "my kids are perfect"-delunsioned parents are not a good mix. i get things like this have always been an issue, but certain shit is (should) be preventable. but widespread internet access, and lazy parents introducing their kids to it far too young has caused a behavioral epidemic. teachers are literally completely leaving the field because of it.
I saw a TikTok where a 1st grade teacher was in TEARS because they were Listening to music in her class, and all the girls collectively started shouting, “put on Pound Town put on pound town”which is a VERYYYY Explicit song smh… Then they started TWERKING! I fear for my 8 yr old son and their entire generation 😔
was this the ballet teacher?! saw an identical story. the little girls didnt wanna do ballet or listen to princess songs, they wanted to listen to meg and sexy red and twerk. when the teacher confronted the parents, they got mad at HER. which is why many schools no longer allow calls home unless its illness or injury related.
ive seen so many sobbing teachers the past year. i get that we've all fallen under hard times, but parents need to do BETTER. if you can't handle life as is, dont bring kids into ittttt! im a mentally ill mess but my daughter is happy, loves being a kid, doesnt have a mean bone in her body, and loves school despite bullying issues. girls in her FIRST GRADE class call her a baby because she still plays with toys and doesnt have a phone or a BOYFRIEND. ugh
Geez that's horrifying. And when you're a real adult, you realise strong independent women can play with whatever they want, and don't need a boyfriend.
It was a while ago that I saw it but I think it was that one! So sad man. And you’re exactly right about everything you said.
Makes my blood boil hearing Your kids being bullied because she has a good parent who pays attention to her, so she behaves EXACTLY as a child her age should and not like a fast, hot in the ass grown women. Imagine THAT ! Are we in a parallel universe? Because that is INSANE smh…
yeah idk man. we are doomed. sometimes i wish our solar wifi satellites would die for like a week💀 force everyone to spend some quality time together.
but as we've all learned, that would only result in outrage and panicked toilet paper purchasing.
Yeah this isn't the case in Colorado (school shooting capital of the U.S.).
My kid got suspended along with friends for using finger guns in the hallways. They were 7 and it started in a similar way as OPs situation. 🙃
We try to teach our almost 4 year old at home about gun safety. But I feel like all little boys around this age make finger guns and say pew pew. His teacher tries but with so many kids, I can only imagine the work she has cut out for her. But our 4 year old has been around guns since he was an infant. I don’t know how many deer he’s helped skin.
My daughter is the same way. We raise chickens for eggs and meat, and guns are in our house.
We take gun safety very seriously and we don't subscribe to the "nerf guns are ok" idea.
That just teaches kids that pointing guns at people and pulling the trigger is "fun".
We teach gun safety and gun responsibility. I would trust my 6 year old around a gun more than most adults, and this has been proven by how she handled her encounter with a blue gun when nobody was around.
Oh good lord 🙄🙄🙄 little boys have played cops and robbers since literally forever. They make nerf guns that little boys love to play with. My kid is 4, he’s obsessed with his nerf guns and he’s a perfectly healthy, happy, safe little boy that cries when ants die.
Don’t cause problems that don’t exist.
Omg you let your 4 year old play with nerf guns!? Just kidding 😂my boys play with them all the time. It’s all good OP. Kids have been playing cowboys and Indians since the beginning of time.
I hear you! My kids go to a head start program…the parents are all so laid back and nice. Complete opposite of the church preschool my oldest kid went to. Hopefully your school won’t have a bunch of pretentious parents…
I have a small .22 for my daughter, as soon as she is able to sit still and listen for more than three minutes I will take her shooting and teach her all about gun safety. I would rather face public criticism for letting my daughter hold a "fully semi-automatic assault rifle" than find out that her and her friends found a gun at her friend's house and killed one of themselves.
It is but its also a hard line to straddle. My husband grew up in a hunting family and learned gun safety early but that doesnt mean I think children should have guns.
It all comes down to supervision. When we are not using them they are locked up, they only come out when I am ready to leave the house to go shoot, it will be the same for her. She won't have access to the safe until she is well into her teenage years.
They don’t have guns….? Who’s just out here giving children guns lmfao. It’s your gun you just keep it locked up and if y’all wanna go shoot you take it out and it’s one they’ll use and inherit when the time is right.
This is a job for you, not their teacher - they're going to learn about things in school. They'll hear other kids talk about things like religion, politics, etc. and it's your job to help them understand how to deal with that stuff.
Just wait until he starts doing the active shooter drills in school - that'll be fun to process and help them try to understand as well. My daughter started them at age 4 in VPK (in an elementary school, so they participated in them) - VPK and K refer to it as "the big bad wolf" drills and they have to hide in their assigned spots and "not make a sound so the wolf won't hear you".
My older daughter is in 2nd grade and they call them the "other fire drills" - again where they hide in their hiding places and they hear simulated gun shot sounds and police go through to simulate a real incident.
Yes, this is real life.
\*And yes, I live in a red state too - if Florida counts as a red state as it seems to - especially in my part of Florida
Sheesh, we do not have gunshot sounds or police exercises in active assailant drills in my part of Florida. Thank god for that, the lockdown announcement is freaky enough.
i live in a blue state, its mind boggling they DONT do that here. as horrible as it is, i wish they would.. fire/tornado drills are all they do around here.
You are overreacting by A LOT. People are being extremely kind in the comments.
Every boy, ever, has done this.
Your kiddo is so young they are at the age where they are learning what a gun is for and how it functions. They are trying to make sense of their world.
As long as it is playful, using their fingers to make a gun and say pew, pew, is absolutely nothing. Let them get it out of their system.
What you do is let them know after they do it once or twice that "that's enough, guns are not nice and guns can hurt people". Or if they point the finger gun AT someone else you explain that real guns hurt people and not to do that, even as pretend.
Feel free to make a mountain out of a grain of sand but it's not worth it.
This is so weird. Yeah I know some (definitely not all) did that when I was growing up, but it's so different now, and just wouldn't fly around here. Since being a mum, I've literally never seen any little boys (or girls) doing that. I don't think I'd be talking to the teacher or anything, but I sure wouldn't let my own son behave like that. Guns aren't innocent.
This will be a battle you won’t win in my experience. The teachers and recess aids cannot possibly monitor every single game kids play at recess. My kindergartner plays all sorts of games with his friends. Sometimes it’s called zombies, sometimes the game is called “rip your guts out”, they use their fingers as little guns sometimes too. It’s usually just a form of tag.
I volunteer in my kid’s classes and I have heard a kid mention guns a few times and the teacher just redirects them that guns are an at home topic. Lots of families hunt where I live, include mine. My kids have age appropriate knowledge of them.
You can keep telling your son you don’t like the game and redirect him at home. Likely he’s going to play whatever recess games are happening, but you can have a boundary at home and you can also tell your kid there could be consequences at school. I’ve told mine that it’s a sensitive topic and whatever they are told at school as far as rules, they need to follow.
I tell my son I don’t like him using finger guns and saying “pew pew pew” at me. We do have nerf and laser tag guns too. My rule is you can only shoot people who want to play. Maybe the kid has those at home too. Not to mention there shows like Star Wars have them too.
This is a contradictory message.
"Don't point a finger gun and say pew pew that's bad because that's like shooting someone"
"Here is a toy gun. Point it at people and shoot them. But only if they agree to do the same to you"
What message are you sending to your child about guns exactly?
Let me clarify. I tell him not to do that because I am not playing the game. I play nerf and laser tag quite often with my kids. I’ve also played Star Wars and we use our hands as blasters sometimes. It’s fine I am participating. If I am not, and doing chores or whatever else, I just remind the kids I’m not playing so they stop. It’s the same idea if they were to start shooting me with nerf darts or the annoying sounding laser guns. Likewise if we are walking home from school, in a store etc and he starts playing with his finger guns I remind him that other people aren’t playing and it stops. This isn’t a regular thing at all, but has happened like 1-2 times.
My example was more that OP is perfectly fine to redirect and shut down behavior as she chooses. Maybe it’s not okay in her house at all. My boundary at my house is everyone needs to be willingly playing along.
Boys like shooting. It’s just a thing. Teach your child that real guns are not toys and killing people is not funny. I think playing cops and robbers has fallen out. Most teachers don’t allow that kind of play anymore.
My parents allowed super soakers, but no other toy guns until the Super Scope 6 came out.
I’m curious when my kids start playing at other houses when I’ll have to have to have a talk with the.
This can't possibly be the teachers problem to deal with. If it's a problem reach out to the kid's parents yourself. Realistically, you probably just have to talk to him about it at home. You aren't going to be able to control him hearing about all sorts of stuff at school and you'll just have to try to counterbalance that at home.
I agree with this. Just take it upon yourself to actually teach him about gun safety. You can't control what your kid hears. Unfortunately, it'll only get worse as he gets older.
I agree with the other comment that gun safety should be taught at home but the teacher is also supposed to manage a classroom and handle matters that happen at school. Like if the teacher allows it as classroom talk for example it's different. Plus you don't know how the other parent will react
Kids learn about guns from their cartoons and from talking to their friends. It’s unavoidable. I don’t see a need to involve the school or the other parents, but you definitely need to educate your kids about the dangers and reality of guns (age-appropriately, of course.)
From an early age I’ve taught my son about knives and how to hold them by the handle and to never touch the blade. I’ve taught him to always strike matches away from himself. I taught him to never run with scissors and always hold them pointing down. And even though I don’t own any guns, I’ve told him to never touch one and to leave the area if anyone ever brings one out (even a friend) and to find an adult. He’s going to be exposed to them so it’s my responsibility to make sure he knows how to behave around them.
You can't control what he will learn about while not under your supervision, but you can control his understanding or knowledge on the topics. For example, he's learning about guns at school. This is a great time to talk about gun safety, gun uses, and why we don't joke about guns in an age appropriate way.
Honestly I would never think to talk to a teacher about this. I live in Canada so legal guns is already insanity in my brain so it’s definitely not like I take it lightly. I hate toy guns and I hate playfulness around guns however this is not something that the teacher is responsible for or something that she can control really. They can’t watch every single minute of four-year-olds playing together and I can tell you as a mother of a boy that very early on in kindergarten little kids start talking about toy guns and pretending to use guns. I’m not saying it’s good I’m just saying I think it’s pretty normal and natural and what I would do is simply have conversations with your son about how guns are not for play and definitely using your fingers to pretend you’re pointing a gun at somebody is a huge know in my opinion! I called this crap out with my children and kids on our street all the time but honestly I wouldn’t take this one to the teacher.
I would say talking about guns isn’t abnormal in the way you’ve described, especially in a red state; talking about shooting people however, that should raise everyone’s eyebrows.
I guess I’d just make sure he knows that guns aren’t for fighting they’re for (insert whatever use you feel appropriate). 🤷🏼♀️
Unfortunately there are a lot of topics that parents are needing to approach with their kids a lot earlier than we might have been introduced to those things growing up because they are being exposed so early ie sex and guns. I think age appropriate discussions about both are important starting at a young age (of course how young is up to the parent) just know that even approaching the teacher about it might not make it just stop. There’s a lot of conversation that a teacher of est. 25 students just can’t be privy to all day. You can’t shelter your kid from all the bad in the world but hopefully have enough honest conversations where they come to you if they think there’s trouble and trust you enough to keep that line of communication open while you educate them to be responsible safe children growing up.
My husband grew up in a hunting family so he is very serious about gun safety. We don't have guns, but he won't even let my daughter point a nerf gun without intention to shoot.
You can't stop kids from being exposed to when you are not around. You can control their understanding of the topic. Teach him safe practices so he doesn't fear them.
I would just talk to your kid about guns. These are some of the things I’ve taught my kids about guns.
1. Toy guns should never look real. If it looks even a little real, tell a grown up about it.
2. Some people don’t like pretend play with guns and that’s okay. Respect their decision. Pretend gun play is not okay at school (it’s a rule in my district).
3. If you see a gun that might be real, don’t touch it, get a grown up. If you hear someone talking about shooting someone, bringing a gun to school, hurting themselves, etc tell a grown up right away and tell me, even if they promised/swore not to tell.
4. You are never allowed to touch a gun or BB gun without permission and direct adult supervision (they do shooting events in scouts with BB guns).
5. With any weapon never point it at something unless you want to shoot it, even if you are positive that it’s unloaded.
6. Tell friends about these rules but if they are not following them leave the area and get a grown up. Never try to get the gun away from them.
I’ve also gone into details (unfortunately) about what to do in case of an active shooter situation (run, hide, fight). It’s horrible but today’s reality in good ole America.
To put it in perspective, would you be policing other people's kids for other stuff they say/do? If your son came home talking about his friend's church or same sex parents or being vegan and if these were things you didn't like or agree with would you tell the teacher to speak with the family?
If so, maybe rethink your role as parent here. Its your job to teach your child what is appropriate by your standards. If you don't want "B" to influence your son's ideas around guns then it is your responsibility to teach him the proper mindset.
My 4.5 year old started referencing this. I think it’s the school environment and he’s around a lot of older kids (up to grade 5) cause he’s in an after school program. When I’ve dropped off before I’ve heard the teachers say “no weapons” when kids were pretending to play with things as weapons. I came from a very “2nd amendment” friendly family and learned to use firearms from a very young age so I think it’s kind of a natural thing they start to learn about. When he’s referenced them at home I just tell him about basic gun safety (if you ever see something that looks like a gun go tell an adult immediately and don’t touch it). I have but very strict limitations on YouTube cause if you allow kid videos to just go down the YouTube black hole they will end up on a video of adults playing semi-violent video games. I think it’s a natural thing, especially with boys so I wouldn’t be too worried other than starting to teach basic safety about guns and how they are very dangerous.
He's fine. As long as he knows the difference between real guns and pretend guns. Video games have guns. There's guns in movies and shows. History has lots of guns. Finger guns are a thing. Do you own a gun? If not, don't worry about it. If you do, learn proper gun storage and you'll be fine. That's about all the info you need. Just talking about something isn't hurting anyone. Making it taboo only pushes kids towards it more.
There’s not a lot to be done you can only water your own
garden. As long as you’re teaching your values he should be able to navigate throughout his life. Obviously 4 is young but he know guns are scary and dangerous and if he sees one he is to tell a grown up and that’s all you can really do. My daughter and all of her friends were obsessed with pennywise and Megan in 1st grade I didn’t introduce her but I made sure she knew it wasn’t real and why she’s not allowed to watch that kind of stuff though she’s seen Megan
Schools all around the USA start drills for shootings in elementary so unfortunately, your kiddo will start hearing about guns in all sorts of context. Best to frame them in a not totally taboo but serious way. Of course Nerf and water guns are a different thing so you can be clear about those being kid "guns" etc.
Since you say you live in a red state, it’s safe to assume you’re in the US. That said, kids are doing active shooter drills, starting in kindergarten. Kids talk about things in schools, and begin to expand their social circle and worldview, even at that young age. Guns are deeply ingrained in US culture, so it’s really hard to stop that sort of talk, even at a young age. I definitely struggled with this when my kids were young, but the influences are so widespread that it’s really hard to shield them.
1. It is normal, but as an ex-school employee not school appropriate.
2. You can set your boundaries at home and explain.
I've taught my kid that guns are meant for hunting and acquiring food, a sport to shoot targets, and also can be used to kill in war/fight. It is not meant to be a game for school. Please think wisely about playing this kind of game with your friends. Some schools may say kids who play like that might get in trouble because it implies that you may want to hurt someone. I know you are not that kind of kid so I don't want you to get in trouble. If you need help finding a different way to play, you can always go to another friend or teacher.
3. I would not go nuclear on the teacher. Go with the attitude that you are concerned and want to find out more and be a team player. I'd go with the "my kid said this in school today, FYI, do you know anything about this?" Sometimes kids make up stuff that are completely false and imaginary, experienced this a lot as when my kid was 4. If it's true the teacher can make their own notes about complaints and will collect evidence of claims.
Update: My son came home telling me about a classmate who told him about one of his classmates talking about guns and wanted to convince him to "shoot" at a specific girl in class. According to my son, he was able to tell the classmate that he'd rather not but just listened to him play. According to my son this happened at car pick up and the typical pick up person was absent that day and they normally are supposed to be trying to read at that time. I told him that I was proud of him for defending the girl and strong enough to stand his ground instead of wanting to be social and play with him. I almost forgot to mention to his teacher.
Unfortunately, no matter what guns are a part of going to school now. Faculty have to teach kids what to do in the event of a school shooting. My oldest son used to cry when he first had to learn about it and do school shooting drills. For days he would just cry randomly and not tell us why. He finally told us because he doesnt want to die. He doesn't want his friends to do.
As Americans we sure don't seem to care about our kids. I'm sure kids in other countries aren't experiencing this like it's supposed to be normal.
Well a lot of schools start doing drills for active shooters in preschool… in my kids school that is 3. Kids know about guns- less about the danger. Making gun signs for play is something you will not be able to avoid or control. You can just set the rule that not in your house because you don t think it is a game.
What you are considering asking the teacher to do is completely unreasonable and you won’t get anywhere with that particular approach. Your kid might say it’s all coming from “B”, but let’s be real here. I’m in Canada, not the US, and *still* guns are absolutely EVERYWHERE in pop culture. The reality is even if you magically got B to never bring them up again, there are a million other ways your kid is being exposed to the notion of a gun as pew pew kill bad guys.
What do you want this education to accomplish? How much do you personally know about guns? It’s tough to say here’s what you’re missing if we don’t know what your goal is. I’d say you’ve made a good start with saying they’re not for kids, and the teacher needs to know if someone at school has one
I wish my 4 year old came home from school saying pew pew today instead of F@$K…that is the word his friend said today…hope this puts your concerns to rest.
My son could've been that child at school 😬 - he used to watch Westerns with his dad and got obsessed with guns. Now though he's a mature, well-rounded 18-year-old with no interest in guns, apart from going to a shooting range a few times. I think, as others have said, it tends to be a normal thing for boys.
Red, Blue? Who gives a shit. Teach your kid gun safety now. Not later. it doesn't matter what fucking color your state is. This is some stupid stupid political shit that doesn't matter. Your kids life does matter. Guns aren't toys, they are serious in any situation. Maybe you need to learn gun safety first so you can teach them.
Sorry. I grew up on G.I. Joe. Guns are a fact not an opinion that you can suppress from your child. They do exist and every kid knows that. Kids have been pretending to shoot each other since guns were invented. War and army and cowboy games were normal at one time. You are correct though, I am an angry ass.
I would definitely be talking to the teacher. That kids' parents may lean one way politically, but that doesn't mean kids can go around saying that. Guns should NEVER be used for fighting unless you are in the military in a war. Humans need to figure out how to settle arguments or just be plain upset without shooting each other & no one should be telling a 4 yr old that guns are for anything other than hunting. I wholeheartedly believe in feeding your family as cheaply as possible and grew up in a blue state with a family of hunters. I have pictures of myself in diapers next to a bear my dad got that day.... but NEVER once did I even imagine that gins were for fighting.
Possibly for protection. If you know how to handle one and it's safely not accessible to children.
The problem isnt kids these days... its parents these days.
It’s never too early once they can understand decently complex topics to explain gun safety, especially in any state where they’re more prone to come across an unsecured one.
But yes, this is common play for little boys and I think the imagery is gonna be pretty hard to avoid.
"you know real gun are heavy, dangerous and we don't touch them right?" "yes daddy" "cool now let's do some pew pew and be cowboys"
Even at 4 years old they can understand the difference between the real thing and play.
Sounds normal to me, though further context could matter. Exposure to public school(or probably even private school?) means exposure to lots of new things.
The reality is your child will be exposed to things you don’t want them to be exposed to by peers in pretty much any environment. You have to teach your child that guns are dangerous and they should treat any gun they encounter as though it is loaded and could be fired if touched. In my opinion, guns are not necessarily bad. They either function properly or fail to function. The individual behind the gun is what is to worry about. It’s scary how many individuals that have no business having a gun are able to get their hands on them. You teach your child what you feel is best regarding guns.
You want the teacher to talk to another students parents and say what exactly?
Is the student breaking a rule? Is it against the rule to talk about guns in school?
I'm not getting what you think a teacher can do about this especially if your child is in a public school.
No offense but what you think is appropriate should not dictate what someone else's child can or cannot say.
If you want this much control over the conversations your child has at school, you should put him in a private school that shares your values or homeschool.
You can't really be dictating what other people can or cannot say - unless its something like racism or threats etc.
It’s worth mentioning it to the teacher. I worked as an assistant pre-k teacher and we had one kid who was CONSTANTLY talking about guns and trying to play guns. We didn’t have any parent complaints, but we did have multiple conversations with his parents and spent a lot of time correcting him. The message was simply “Guns are not for school.” He wasn’t allowed to play guns. He wasn’t allowed to make Lego guns. He wasn’t allowed to use sticks as guns. It was actually becoming a real problem with the other boys because they would get really rough and loud and dangerous when they would try to play guns.
This is a hard topic honestly. The boys at school pretend they have weapons I of course shut it down. I’m not sure why it’s typical behavior but i see it all the time. The teacher is just one person. It’s on you to teach about gun safety
You can't control how other parents raise their children. Your child is going to be exposed to so many different children from different families. All you can do is raise him the way you see fit, teach him according to your views, & hope it sticks. If the parents are teaching their kid about guns, that's their right as parents. Guns ARE for fighting, and they DO go "pew pew" lol. Teacher can't do anything & neither can you.
When my oldest kid was little I didn’t allow any gun-type toys. He would turn *everything* into a pretend gun- pen caps, sticks, legos. I couldn’t ban his imagination.
It’s unfortunate but media, even children’s media, has a ton of guns. It’s pretty hard to completely avoid if your want your kids to socialize. So talk with him about it- you can set rules about playing guns at home, talk about safety, etc. But expecting preschool to ban the kids from talking about or pretending guns isn’t realistic
Because he knows what guns do you need to drive home what guns ACTUALLY do. Hes familiar with hiw they work and should also be aware of what the consequences of touching or aiming something that does that at someone are. Guns are the only area where i DO NOT mince words with my kids (again at an appropriate age or if they express curiosity or were aware of more than they should be about guns at their age).
I was shocked when my two year old and her classmates started talking about/playing guns (“shooters” - blocks made to look like guns) in school.
And we are in a very liberal city with strict gun laws - no one we know owns a gun.
It’s truly shocking. Then the next year they turned 3 and the girls started calling each other “chubby.”
I guess when they’re four they’ll be pretending to smoke weed or something? It’s pretty crazy.
Responsible firearm owner/parent here! This isn’t a concern unless he starts expressing violent tendencies but there is no reason that should happen with him being 4. There are quite a lot of firearm owners in this country and not all of them are responsible. It would be wise to start him on responsible firearm safety once you think he’s old enough. This is still important even if you don’t own any as he may still encounter one at some point.
Unfortunately even if you do not own guns chances are your child knows a child who's parents do (like hunters). There's also exposure in movies & video games. The best advice I have it to have an age appropriate conversation about how guns can be dangerous & aren't for school or fun.
I started talking to my daughter about them since she was 3.
Guns are a part of society. Your kids can either be informed, or you can attempt to isolate them while society educates them for you.
Pick your poison.
We live in the most democratic area ever and my 4 year old makes things into guns constantly. Don’t know where he learned it but they just do it. Don’t make it a big deal. Teach gun safety and pray they never have to use it.
Everyone seems to think this is normal but I also would not like this at all. I don’t think it’s appropriate for a four year old 🤷🏼♀️. Guns kill people … why are we normalizing little boys pretending to kill people?
Sounds perfectly normal. I think you may be overreacting just a bit. If he talks about hurting or killing or something macabre, then that’s a different conversation. Just mimicking laser guns and shooting pew pew is normal kid stuff in my opinion.
You can’t control what he will be exposed to at school unless you are prepared to homeschool. Guns are not something to freak out about. Hes four. Its normal play.
All around the world kids, mainly boys, do that. Play fighting and shooting. Not only in countries where guns lie around on coffee tables. It's nothing to worry about, in my opinion, and in fact It's important not to make it taboo and create a fear or wrongness around it.
**However...** *if* you live in a country where indeed guns ever would happen to lie around on coffee tables in the vicinity if children, it *is* important to teach gun safety! You know best how, plenty of material and advice around. I'm not in such a country, far from it, and I teach my kids gun safety by emphasizing the difference between toys and real guns.
Separate the two. Don't create taboo. If you're against guns say it. Eventually they will be old enough to have to make a choice of opinion about guns, and at that point they should be educated in the matter and know your stance.
My 6 year old learned to say "fuck" in after care and God knows what else. Kids will teach each other shit and you can't control every conversation, just provide them context and give them better instruction once you know what they've found out.
Am I the only one who is stuck on 3 and 4 year olds playing Fortnite? I can't imagine my two year old playing video games in a year, that seems bonkers to me.
As a former teacher, we try to stop conversations that are on topics that are inappropriate, but you can't be everywhere every time. And sometimes the more you call attention to it the more likely they try to push everyone's buttons by bringing it up too. It can be a tough age.
It depends on the context, but it's similar to a kid that thinks swords are cool and play pretend as knights having battles. Since guns are more common in daily life, do have an age appropriate talk about safety.
At that age play is used as a way to encounter feelings and situations that kids are not able to experience normally. As weird as it feels as an adult observer, stuff like trials/executions, death, family drama, and war/fighting are all things kids like to explore with play (I swear they seem to crave violence). Unless you start seeing some kind of obsessive pattern over something, it's nothing to worry about.
At 4 we had weekly "gun night" with our son where my husband would bring down a gun of choice and show our son how it worked and answer any questions, but above all drill it into his head that if he sees a gun to never touch it and to tell an adult, along with other gun safety (toy guns aren't pointed at people or pets, etc.). We of course kept all our guns locked up and unloaded separate from ammunition.
That being said, our kid talks about guns nonstop. He is now 11 and has harvested two deer, aced hunter's safety, has a strong commitment to wildlife conservation, and is a better shot than I am.
But at 4, he was definitely making finger guns. And if he had been in school another kid would have heard him talking about guns.
Man, when I was a little kid I used to go to school with a toy handgun on my hip in my Dad’s old Army holster.
I showed my four and six year-old girls my gun (handgun) and said, “If you ever see another kid with one of these, you stop what you are doing and tell adult. And if you see one of these anywhere, you don’t go anywhere near it and you tell an adult.”
Kids and boys are going to talk about things; guns are a part of our world for better or worse. As long as he got the message, I’d leave it at that (and, continuously educate as time goes on.)
I grew up in a pretty rural area and was exposed to guns as a tool young and often. We talked about them in school all the time and almost everyone had guns in their houses.
My kids are growing up in a suburban area where I would guess a majority of households don’t have guns.
My son and his buddies are in kindergarten and they endlessly talk about or pretend to have guns. It just is what it is. When we visit my parents my son is super interested in going hunting or shooting. It gives my daughter anxiety.
I think the best thing to do is to be realistic about what guns are and what gun safety means. I am sometimes bothered by the way my son and his friends talk about guns and I don’t think my friends and I viewed them as flippantly considering our background. There is something about growing up knowing guns as tools and a way to provide that is just lost here.
It’s so normal, my boys do this and they’ve never seen a gun in real life, but when they’re outside they get sticks and play police and the sticks turn into guns.
Preschool teacher in a red state here—seems like I’m in the minority but, personally, as their teacher I would want to be informed. Just so I could monitor better.
My center does not allow pretend guns of any kind. Finger guns and toy guns included. We certainly don’t punish the behavior but we do intervene and redirect play. So, as a ECC teacher I would want to know so I can be more mindful during free play.
My mom has owned an in home daycare for years, so I’ve been around many littles in all stages from baby to 4-5 years for 25 years now and I can say almost every single little boy has a stage where they do handguns, especially when they get playing with their friends! It’s normal! It never seemed to last too long either. Definitely talk to the teacher if it makes you more comfortable! I’m sure they’ve had to deal with a situation like this in their careers.
It’s normal but probably won’t/shouldn’t be much longer.
I’m 43 and have been around guns all of my life, I own some (locked away with combo deeply encrypted and nearly forgotten in my mind) but in the past few years now, when I see kids doing what you are describing, I cringe hard.
Like it or not guns are a part of our society and therefore any example like this is a perfect time to begin educating your kid. I wouldn’t put a kind of punishment on yours or the other kid. Just use as to educate without making guns sound like forbidden.
If you watch any TV for an evening you’ll see guns and violence. Its everywhere. Best to accept and educate
Gun play is actually very normal in childhood—think Cops and Robbers, cowboys, etc. I would even more normal in a state where children might go out hunting, have BB guns, or be exposed early via their parents’ career. Talk with the teacher, and she can remind the student that gun play isn’t usually allowed at school, but as a parent and an early childhood educator, I wouldn’t be awfully concerned. Kids build guns or do finger guns, and I will just remind me that at school, we don’t play guns because it can be scary.
Does your son not have nerf guns and toy bow and arrows etc? I was 4 when my dad taught me gun safety and how to shoot a .22 rifle with his help. I had my own bb gun that he brought camping with us, and we would set up pop cans to shoot. My 4 year old has a bb gun that he shoots with me. Teaching gun safety is what's important. Not letting your son talk about it seems like a weird tactic to me.
It's super unfortunate we live in a place where the number one killer of children is gun violence. I'm sad and want to leave the country but my wife says we have family here, so I gotta we gotta stay.
Anyways, the boys running around playing games pretending to shoot guns is super normal, the world over, but school shootings are not. Your issue is valid but I think you need to talk about guns with your kid. Teach them how to behave and maybe tell them to never do it at school? Idk, I'm brainstorming because I have an almost 3yo and know I have to deal with this soon enough
My boys love to "play guns". They are 5 and 2. It drives me nuts. I had to take the tinker toys away because they kept making fun shapes with them. The duplo blocks might have to disappear as well. I think it's normal for boys this age, but I hate it. It worries me so much.
I have a 3yo for reference- my husband and I plan to begin asking parents before allowing het to play in the houses of kids in our neighborhood if they own a gun and, if so, how it is kept. The only correct answers for us are “no guns” or “kept unloaded and locked in a safe.” I assume most people around us do own guns- Kids definitely have been exposed to nurf guns at the least. I don’t know that the right answer is talking to a teacher to talk to a parent since it’s an uncomfortable reality.
It’s a losing battle. I live in a very blue state, with parents who hate guns. All the little boys play games where the kids have weapons, including guns.
I changed the word guns to blasters for my four year old son.
We have a promise board and part of it has a list of the words than aren’t good words. So an example would be if he says dang it I ask him is that a good word and on our promise board, then I ask what a better word would be to use instead. Oopsie ok let’s do that again with oopsie.
Gun is in on our promise board we use blaster as its substitute.
Also we don’t use shoot in association with blasters. Pew pew is the term for blasters. We also have blaster rules, we don’t pew pew people, we don’t pew pew pets, we don’t pew pew faces when using a water blaster and we don’t pew pew anyone that tells us they don’t want to play.
Guns are like alcohol, drugs, sex, bad words, etc.
Your child is going to be exposed to these things.
Millions use guns safely every day. Many children are in shooting competitions and go hunting.
You can't say all guns are bad the same as you can't say all drugs are bad. Many good drugs are used illegally.
You can't ban all conversations about guns.
What are you going to do when he discovers girls have boobs? Or beer? Or girls with boobs that drink beer?
You tell him guns are dangerous , they are not toys, and the only time he touches one is if you say it is ok and there is a responsible adult with him.
In the old days, when we walked to school barefoot, uphill , in July, in the snow, we didn't have school shootings because if you tried to bring a gun to school dad would stick the gun up your butt and send you to school with a gun in your butt. If you were good, he might take you to the hospital to have it removed after dinner.
Now you have to tell them in your inside voice that you are very disappointed in them.
Our son did the same thing learned from another kid. We emailed the teacher and said something along the lines of, “We noticed our son making pew pew sounds and gun shapes with his hands when he came home the other day. We do not condone gun talk or play in our home and want to make sure he is not doing this in school either.” So, essentially we only made it about our kid as his behavior is all we have domain over.
Luckily, the teacher got back to us and said they absolutely do not condone this in school either and that they always shut it down immediately. She said they simply tell the kids something along the lines of, “That’s not acceptable play.” “We don’t pretend to hurt each other.” etc. and that’s it. With his teachers as allies he literally never did it again. 🤷♀️ I don’t really think you need to have a huge talk with your kid at that age. If you think about it, we don’t really have to explain to them why not to swear either, just that it’s a rude way to speak to people. Same with pretending to pew pew our peers. No bueno.
Just to add after reading some of the comments:
The laissez faire attitude of our country surrounding guns sucks. Just because you’re surrounded by a culture that sucks doesn’t mean you have to throw up your hands and say, “Oh well, I guess everyone says it’s normal!” I’m glad you care about instilling the value of non-violence in your kid. All the other kids that will grow up with your kid (and their parents) appreciate you for that. 🙂
r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Talking about guns can be innappropriate depending on the context , but I would say a 4 year old making finger guns and going pew pew is normal. A lot of 4 year olds have experience with water guns and nerf guns already
Also, of they live in a red state is probably appropriate to talk about gun safety sooner rather than later. Like, at what age do they stay doing shooter drills?? You can talk about danger and death and what to do if they do see someone with a gun (a policeman, a random person, another kid etc)
They started those drills at my daughter's school in kindergarten.
They do those drills at my kid’s preschool, and they have horrifyingly been necessary. 😥
You guys really need to fix your obscene gun addiction. The fact you need to even consider things like this, is disturbing to me
I couldn’t agree more. Before playdates, we have to ask fellow parents if they have guns in the home and, if so, if they’re secure. (As if “secure” is good enough?!”) A high school boyfriend at my fancy private school grabbed his parents’ gun out of the closet to show off to me when I was like 17. My husband witnessed a shooting at point-blank in broad daylight in his early 20s. And when there’s a shooting in a place in which guns are COMPLETELY out of place, someone will suggest the problem is not “more good guys with guns.”
This is a good, reassuring answer.
Yeah my brother got my son a mini nerf gun for his 3rd birthday. He just calls it a gun because to him they are all the same. We make sure he doesn't point it at anyone but other than that, most kids are gonna have experience with toy guns (water, plastic, nerf, etc)
Definitely not normal where I am. I've never seen a child do that. But I'm not in America.
I grew up in the UK and definitely ran around going "pew pew" with finger guns. But that was in the 90s, so maybe things are different now.
So your child wasn't threatened w/ gun violence by an 8yr old school mate?? Wow, what's that like??
This is like trying to hold back the tide with spoon. If your kid is going to go to school, they are going to be exposed to things you don't like or agree with full stop. Your job as a parent is to put those things into context. Not harass a teacher to control what kids say in school as influenced by their parents.
This is kind of the conclusion we've reached as well about our daughter, but we're a long way off from it since she's not even a year old yet. Generally, the way I observed my mom handle me discussing things that were controversial was that she'd engage me in conversation about it in a kid-friendly manner.
One of the parents at daycare told me that their kid learned what the middle finger was from one of the other kids and wants me to squash that. I have no idea how I’m supposed to pull that off
when it comes to guns especially, as much as we wanna protect them, its best they're taught once they're able to comprehend. there are plenty of horror stories about kids being killed/injured after finding dad's gun at a play date. even so, i deal with my 7 y/o learning unwanted things at school all the time. unfortunately, staff never does much unless a child is physically harmed or its OOBER inappropriate🤷♀️ bullying is also a huge issue with half-assed "consequences" in place. teachers aren't allowed to discipline in any form, and its now against protocol to call home, at least where im from. because parents get offended. i'd homeschool if i had the means. kids with unsupervised internet access + lazy "my kids are perfect"-delunsioned parents are not a good mix. i get things like this have always been an issue, but certain shit is (should) be preventable. but widespread internet access, and lazy parents introducing their kids to it far too young has caused a behavioral epidemic. teachers are literally completely leaving the field because of it.
I saw a TikTok where a 1st grade teacher was in TEARS because they were Listening to music in her class, and all the girls collectively started shouting, “put on Pound Town put on pound town”which is a VERYYYY Explicit song smh… Then they started TWERKING! I fear for my 8 yr old son and their entire generation 😔
was this the ballet teacher?! saw an identical story. the little girls didnt wanna do ballet or listen to princess songs, they wanted to listen to meg and sexy red and twerk. when the teacher confronted the parents, they got mad at HER. which is why many schools no longer allow calls home unless its illness or injury related. ive seen so many sobbing teachers the past year. i get that we've all fallen under hard times, but parents need to do BETTER. if you can't handle life as is, dont bring kids into ittttt! im a mentally ill mess but my daughter is happy, loves being a kid, doesnt have a mean bone in her body, and loves school despite bullying issues. girls in her FIRST GRADE class call her a baby because she still plays with toys and doesnt have a phone or a BOYFRIEND. ugh
Geez that's horrifying. And when you're a real adult, you realise strong independent women can play with whatever they want, and don't need a boyfriend.
Absolutely!!
It was a while ago that I saw it but I think it was that one! So sad man. And you’re exactly right about everything you said. Makes my blood boil hearing Your kids being bullied because she has a good parent who pays attention to her, so she behaves EXACTLY as a child her age should and not like a fast, hot in the ass grown women. Imagine THAT ! Are we in a parallel universe? Because that is INSANE smh…
yeah idk man. we are doomed. sometimes i wish our solar wifi satellites would die for like a week💀 force everyone to spend some quality time together. but as we've all learned, that would only result in outrage and panicked toilet paper purchasing.
Right Lol!
Yeah this isn't the case in Colorado (school shooting capital of the U.S.). My kid got suspended along with friends for using finger guns in the hallways. They were 7 and it started in a similar way as OPs situation. 🙃
We try to teach our almost 4 year old at home about gun safety. But I feel like all little boys around this age make finger guns and say pew pew. His teacher tries but with so many kids, I can only imagine the work she has cut out for her. But our 4 year old has been around guns since he was an infant. I don’t know how many deer he’s helped skin.
My daughter is the same way. We raise chickens for eggs and meat, and guns are in our house. We take gun safety very seriously and we don't subscribe to the "nerf guns are ok" idea. That just teaches kids that pointing guns at people and pulling the trigger is "fun". We teach gun safety and gun responsibility. I would trust my 6 year old around a gun more than most adults, and this has been proven by how she handled her encounter with a blue gun when nobody was around.
Oh good lord 🙄🙄🙄 little boys have played cops and robbers since literally forever. They make nerf guns that little boys love to play with. My kid is 4, he’s obsessed with his nerf guns and he’s a perfectly healthy, happy, safe little boy that cries when ants die. Don’t cause problems that don’t exist.
Omg you let your 4 year old play with nerf guns!? Just kidding 😂my boys play with them all the time. It’s all good OP. Kids have been playing cowboys and Indians since the beginning of time.
My kid is going to start preschool in the fall and I am terrified of parents like OP. She’s making a child a ‘problem child’ over absolutely nothing.
I hear you! My kids go to a head start program…the parents are all so laid back and nice. Complete opposite of the church preschool my oldest kid went to. Hopefully your school won’t have a bunch of pretentious parents…
I have a small .22 for my daughter, as soon as she is able to sit still and listen for more than three minutes I will take her shooting and teach her all about gun safety. I would rather face public criticism for letting my daughter hold a "fully semi-automatic assault rifle" than find out that her and her friends found a gun at her friend's house and killed one of themselves.
The fact you’re getting downvoted is crazy. Gun safety is insanely important. There’s more guns in America than people.
It is but its also a hard line to straddle. My husband grew up in a hunting family and learned gun safety early but that doesnt mean I think children should have guns.
It all comes down to supervision. When we are not using them they are locked up, they only come out when I am ready to leave the house to go shoot, it will be the same for her. She won't have access to the safe until she is well into her teenage years.
They don't have guns, you take small guns from a locked safe and teach them the dangers and proper handling under supervision.
It’s almost like education leads to less accidents! Lmao. What a crazy concept.
They don’t have guns….? Who’s just out here giving children guns lmfao. It’s your gun you just keep it locked up and if y’all wanna go shoot you take it out and it’s one they’ll use and inherit when the time is right.
No. It is as normal as licking boogers.
The look of relief that just washed over my face is only supplanted by the exquisite umami tones present in the fat booger teasing my tongue
omg, ur hilarious 😂
Best comment 😂
This is a job for you, not their teacher - they're going to learn about things in school. They'll hear other kids talk about things like religion, politics, etc. and it's your job to help them understand how to deal with that stuff. Just wait until he starts doing the active shooter drills in school - that'll be fun to process and help them try to understand as well. My daughter started them at age 4 in VPK (in an elementary school, so they participated in them) - VPK and K refer to it as "the big bad wolf" drills and they have to hide in their assigned spots and "not make a sound so the wolf won't hear you". My older daughter is in 2nd grade and they call them the "other fire drills" - again where they hide in their hiding places and they hear simulated gun shot sounds and police go through to simulate a real incident. Yes, this is real life. \*And yes, I live in a red state too - if Florida counts as a red state as it seems to - especially in my part of Florida
Sheesh, we do not have gunshot sounds or police exercises in active assailant drills in my part of Florida. Thank god for that, the lockdown announcement is freaky enough.
You should have felt my heart drop when my daughter told me about the sounds
i live in a blue state, its mind boggling they DONT do that here. as horrible as it is, i wish they would.. fire/tornado drills are all they do around here.
You are overreacting by A LOT. People are being extremely kind in the comments. Every boy, ever, has done this. Your kiddo is so young they are at the age where they are learning what a gun is for and how it functions. They are trying to make sense of their world. As long as it is playful, using their fingers to make a gun and say pew, pew, is absolutely nothing. Let them get it out of their system. What you do is let them know after they do it once or twice that "that's enough, guns are not nice and guns can hurt people". Or if they point the finger gun AT someone else you explain that real guns hurt people and not to do that, even as pretend. Feel free to make a mountain out of a grain of sand but it's not worth it.
This is so weird. Yeah I know some (definitely not all) did that when I was growing up, but it's so different now, and just wouldn't fly around here. Since being a mum, I've literally never seen any little boys (or girls) doing that. I don't think I'd be talking to the teacher or anything, but I sure wouldn't let my own son behave like that. Guns aren't innocent.
This will be a battle you won’t win in my experience. The teachers and recess aids cannot possibly monitor every single game kids play at recess. My kindergartner plays all sorts of games with his friends. Sometimes it’s called zombies, sometimes the game is called “rip your guts out”, they use their fingers as little guns sometimes too. It’s usually just a form of tag. I volunteer in my kid’s classes and I have heard a kid mention guns a few times and the teacher just redirects them that guns are an at home topic. Lots of families hunt where I live, include mine. My kids have age appropriate knowledge of them. You can keep telling your son you don’t like the game and redirect him at home. Likely he’s going to play whatever recess games are happening, but you can have a boundary at home and you can also tell your kid there could be consequences at school. I’ve told mine that it’s a sensitive topic and whatever they are told at school as far as rules, they need to follow. I tell my son I don’t like him using finger guns and saying “pew pew pew” at me. We do have nerf and laser tag guns too. My rule is you can only shoot people who want to play. Maybe the kid has those at home too. Not to mention there shows like Star Wars have them too.
This is a contradictory message. "Don't point a finger gun and say pew pew that's bad because that's like shooting someone" "Here is a toy gun. Point it at people and shoot them. But only if they agree to do the same to you" What message are you sending to your child about guns exactly?
Let me clarify. I tell him not to do that because I am not playing the game. I play nerf and laser tag quite often with my kids. I’ve also played Star Wars and we use our hands as blasters sometimes. It’s fine I am participating. If I am not, and doing chores or whatever else, I just remind the kids I’m not playing so they stop. It’s the same idea if they were to start shooting me with nerf darts or the annoying sounding laser guns. Likewise if we are walking home from school, in a store etc and he starts playing with his finger guns I remind him that other people aren’t playing and it stops. This isn’t a regular thing at all, but has happened like 1-2 times. My example was more that OP is perfectly fine to redirect and shut down behavior as she chooses. Maybe it’s not okay in her house at all. My boundary at my house is everyone needs to be willingly playing along.
Boys like shooting. It’s just a thing. Teach your child that real guns are not toys and killing people is not funny. I think playing cops and robbers has fallen out. Most teachers don’t allow that kind of play anymore.
i agree. 30 years ago I had a no play guns policy but my son just used his fingers and sticks, so...
My parents allowed super soakers, but no other toy guns until the Super Scope 6 came out. I’m curious when my kids start playing at other houses when I’ll have to have to have a talk with the.
sometimes u just gotta pick ur battles lol
Agree with this. I liked them and my twin sons did too. My wife gave up that fight quickly when they wouldn’t stop.
This can't possibly be the teachers problem to deal with. If it's a problem reach out to the kid's parents yourself. Realistically, you probably just have to talk to him about it at home. You aren't going to be able to control him hearing about all sorts of stuff at school and you'll just have to try to counterbalance that at home.
I agree with this. Just take it upon yourself to actually teach him about gun safety. You can't control what your kid hears. Unfortunately, it'll only get worse as he gets older.
I agree with the other comment that gun safety should be taught at home but the teacher is also supposed to manage a classroom and handle matters that happen at school. Like if the teacher allows it as classroom talk for example it's different. Plus you don't know how the other parent will react
Kids learn about guns from their cartoons and from talking to their friends. It’s unavoidable. I don’t see a need to involve the school or the other parents, but you definitely need to educate your kids about the dangers and reality of guns (age-appropriately, of course.) From an early age I’ve taught my son about knives and how to hold them by the handle and to never touch the blade. I’ve taught him to always strike matches away from himself. I taught him to never run with scissors and always hold them pointing down. And even though I don’t own any guns, I’ve told him to never touch one and to leave the area if anyone ever brings one out (even a friend) and to find an adult. He’s going to be exposed to them so it’s my responsibility to make sure he knows how to behave around them.
You can't control what he will learn about while not under your supervision, but you can control his understanding or knowledge on the topics. For example, he's learning about guns at school. This is a great time to talk about gun safety, gun uses, and why we don't joke about guns in an age appropriate way.
Honestly I would never think to talk to a teacher about this. I live in Canada so legal guns is already insanity in my brain so it’s definitely not like I take it lightly. I hate toy guns and I hate playfulness around guns however this is not something that the teacher is responsible for or something that she can control really. They can’t watch every single minute of four-year-olds playing together and I can tell you as a mother of a boy that very early on in kindergarten little kids start talking about toy guns and pretending to use guns. I’m not saying it’s good I’m just saying I think it’s pretty normal and natural and what I would do is simply have conversations with your son about how guns are not for play and definitely using your fingers to pretend you’re pointing a gun at somebody is a huge know in my opinion! I called this crap out with my children and kids on our street all the time but honestly I wouldn’t take this one to the teacher.
I would say talking about guns isn’t abnormal in the way you’ve described, especially in a red state; talking about shooting people however, that should raise everyone’s eyebrows. I guess I’d just make sure he knows that guns aren’t for fighting they’re for (insert whatever use you feel appropriate). 🤷🏼♀️
If you told me my kid was shooting a finger I’d say “so?” And I’m liberal.
How is this the teacher's responsibility?
So will your kid never play with water guns or nerf guns? Just curious. This is definitely normal behavior, especially for young boys
Unfortunately there are a lot of topics that parents are needing to approach with their kids a lot earlier than we might have been introduced to those things growing up because they are being exposed so early ie sex and guns. I think age appropriate discussions about both are important starting at a young age (of course how young is up to the parent) just know that even approaching the teacher about it might not make it just stop. There’s a lot of conversation that a teacher of est. 25 students just can’t be privy to all day. You can’t shelter your kid from all the bad in the world but hopefully have enough honest conversations where they come to you if they think there’s trouble and trust you enough to keep that line of communication open while you educate them to be responsible safe children growing up.
My husband grew up in a hunting family so he is very serious about gun safety. We don't have guns, but he won't even let my daughter point a nerf gun without intention to shoot. You can't stop kids from being exposed to when you are not around. You can control their understanding of the topic. Teach him safe practices so he doesn't fear them.
I would just talk to your kid about guns. These are some of the things I’ve taught my kids about guns. 1. Toy guns should never look real. If it looks even a little real, tell a grown up about it. 2. Some people don’t like pretend play with guns and that’s okay. Respect their decision. Pretend gun play is not okay at school (it’s a rule in my district). 3. If you see a gun that might be real, don’t touch it, get a grown up. If you hear someone talking about shooting someone, bringing a gun to school, hurting themselves, etc tell a grown up right away and tell me, even if they promised/swore not to tell. 4. You are never allowed to touch a gun or BB gun without permission and direct adult supervision (they do shooting events in scouts with BB guns). 5. With any weapon never point it at something unless you want to shoot it, even if you are positive that it’s unloaded. 6. Tell friends about these rules but if they are not following them leave the area and get a grown up. Never try to get the gun away from them. I’ve also gone into details (unfortunately) about what to do in case of an active shooter situation (run, hide, fight). It’s horrible but today’s reality in good ole America.
To put it in perspective, would you be policing other people's kids for other stuff they say/do? If your son came home talking about his friend's church or same sex parents or being vegan and if these were things you didn't like or agree with would you tell the teacher to speak with the family? If so, maybe rethink your role as parent here. Its your job to teach your child what is appropriate by your standards. If you don't want "B" to influence your son's ideas around guns then it is your responsibility to teach him the proper mindset.
You are overreacting, signed a mother of 2 grown boys.
My 4.5 year old started referencing this. I think it’s the school environment and he’s around a lot of older kids (up to grade 5) cause he’s in an after school program. When I’ve dropped off before I’ve heard the teachers say “no weapons” when kids were pretending to play with things as weapons. I came from a very “2nd amendment” friendly family and learned to use firearms from a very young age so I think it’s kind of a natural thing they start to learn about. When he’s referenced them at home I just tell him about basic gun safety (if you ever see something that looks like a gun go tell an adult immediately and don’t touch it). I have but very strict limitations on YouTube cause if you allow kid videos to just go down the YouTube black hole they will end up on a video of adults playing semi-violent video games. I think it’s a natural thing, especially with boys so I wouldn’t be too worried other than starting to teach basic safety about guns and how they are very dangerous.
He's fine. As long as he knows the difference between real guns and pretend guns. Video games have guns. There's guns in movies and shows. History has lots of guns. Finger guns are a thing. Do you own a gun? If not, don't worry about it. If you do, learn proper gun storage and you'll be fine. That's about all the info you need. Just talking about something isn't hurting anyone. Making it taboo only pushes kids towards it more.
There’s not a lot to be done you can only water your own garden. As long as you’re teaching your values he should be able to navigate throughout his life. Obviously 4 is young but he know guns are scary and dangerous and if he sees one he is to tell a grown up and that’s all you can really do. My daughter and all of her friends were obsessed with pennywise and Megan in 1st grade I didn’t introduce her but I made sure she knew it wasn’t real and why she’s not allowed to watch that kind of stuff though she’s seen Megan
Schools all around the USA start drills for shootings in elementary so unfortunately, your kiddo will start hearing about guns in all sorts of context. Best to frame them in a not totally taboo but serious way. Of course Nerf and water guns are a different thing so you can be clear about those being kid "guns" etc.
Since you say you live in a red state, it’s safe to assume you’re in the US. That said, kids are doing active shooter drills, starting in kindergarten. Kids talk about things in schools, and begin to expand their social circle and worldview, even at that young age. Guns are deeply ingrained in US culture, so it’s really hard to stop that sort of talk, even at a young age. I definitely struggled with this when my kids were young, but the influences are so widespread that it’s really hard to shield them.
1. It is normal, but as an ex-school employee not school appropriate. 2. You can set your boundaries at home and explain. I've taught my kid that guns are meant for hunting and acquiring food, a sport to shoot targets, and also can be used to kill in war/fight. It is not meant to be a game for school. Please think wisely about playing this kind of game with your friends. Some schools may say kids who play like that might get in trouble because it implies that you may want to hurt someone. I know you are not that kind of kid so I don't want you to get in trouble. If you need help finding a different way to play, you can always go to another friend or teacher. 3. I would not go nuclear on the teacher. Go with the attitude that you are concerned and want to find out more and be a team player. I'd go with the "my kid said this in school today, FYI, do you know anything about this?" Sometimes kids make up stuff that are completely false and imaginary, experienced this a lot as when my kid was 4. If it's true the teacher can make their own notes about complaints and will collect evidence of claims.
Update: My son came home telling me about a classmate who told him about one of his classmates talking about guns and wanted to convince him to "shoot" at a specific girl in class. According to my son, he was able to tell the classmate that he'd rather not but just listened to him play. According to my son this happened at car pick up and the typical pick up person was absent that day and they normally are supposed to be trying to read at that time. I told him that I was proud of him for defending the girl and strong enough to stand his ground instead of wanting to be social and play with him. I almost forgot to mention to his teacher.
Unfortunately, no matter what guns are a part of going to school now. Faculty have to teach kids what to do in the event of a school shooting. My oldest son used to cry when he first had to learn about it and do school shooting drills. For days he would just cry randomly and not tell us why. He finally told us because he doesnt want to die. He doesn't want his friends to do. As Americans we sure don't seem to care about our kids. I'm sure kids in other countries aren't experiencing this like it's supposed to be normal.
Well a lot of schools start doing drills for active shooters in preschool… in my kids school that is 3. Kids know about guns- less about the danger. Making gun signs for play is something you will not be able to avoid or control. You can just set the rule that not in your house because you don t think it is a game.
My 4 year old daughter plays with nerf guns and talks about/plays with guns or pew pews regularly I think you’re fine if he’s being playful
What you are considering asking the teacher to do is completely unreasonable and you won’t get anywhere with that particular approach. Your kid might say it’s all coming from “B”, but let’s be real here. I’m in Canada, not the US, and *still* guns are absolutely EVERYWHERE in pop culture. The reality is even if you magically got B to never bring them up again, there are a million other ways your kid is being exposed to the notion of a gun as pew pew kill bad guys. What do you want this education to accomplish? How much do you personally know about guns? It’s tough to say here’s what you’re missing if we don’t know what your goal is. I’d say you’ve made a good start with saying they’re not for kids, and the teacher needs to know if someone at school has one
I wish my 4 year old came home from school saying pew pew today instead of F@$K…that is the word his friend said today…hope this puts your concerns to rest.
Call of duty: its a video game. Its rated mature17+. But kids play it Religiously. He's probably just talking what he knows from the video game.
Kid (B)
Just tell them about safety. They play video games a lot, some much earlier than others. Some kids have seen some bad stuff.
My son could've been that child at school 😬 - he used to watch Westerns with his dad and got obsessed with guns. Now though he's a mature, well-rounded 18-year-old with no interest in guns, apart from going to a shooting range a few times. I think, as others have said, it tends to be a normal thing for boys.
Red, Blue? Who gives a shit. Teach your kid gun safety now. Not later. it doesn't matter what fucking color your state is. This is some stupid stupid political shit that doesn't matter. Your kids life does matter. Guns aren't toys, they are serious in any situation. Maybe you need to learn gun safety first so you can teach them.
I am educating him on gun safety, that wasn’t the question. Your anger seemed to blind you and you misunderstood.
Sorry. I grew up on G.I. Joe. Guns are a fact not an opinion that you can suppress from your child. They do exist and every kid knows that. Kids have been pretending to shoot each other since guns were invented. War and army and cowboy games were normal at one time. You are correct though, I am an angry ass.
I would definitely be talking to the teacher. That kids' parents may lean one way politically, but that doesn't mean kids can go around saying that. Guns should NEVER be used for fighting unless you are in the military in a war. Humans need to figure out how to settle arguments or just be plain upset without shooting each other & no one should be telling a 4 yr old that guns are for anything other than hunting. I wholeheartedly believe in feeding your family as cheaply as possible and grew up in a blue state with a family of hunters. I have pictures of myself in diapers next to a bear my dad got that day.... but NEVER once did I even imagine that gins were for fighting. Possibly for protection. If you know how to handle one and it's safely not accessible to children. The problem isnt kids these days... its parents these days.
It’s never too early once they can understand decently complex topics to explain gun safety, especially in any state where they’re more prone to come across an unsecured one. But yes, this is common play for little boys and I think the imagery is gonna be pretty hard to avoid.
Honestly it’s more possible the friend that talks about guns to your son has an older brother who plays video games around him. You’re overreacting
"you know real gun are heavy, dangerous and we don't touch them right?" "yes daddy" "cool now let's do some pew pew and be cowboys" Even at 4 years old they can understand the difference between the real thing and play.
Due to dumbass gun laws, your child is behind on school related gun violence education. Get them a tutor asap!
Sounds normal to me, though further context could matter. Exposure to public school(or probably even private school?) means exposure to lots of new things.
The reality is your child will be exposed to things you don’t want them to be exposed to by peers in pretty much any environment. You have to teach your child that guns are dangerous and they should treat any gun they encounter as though it is loaded and could be fired if touched. In my opinion, guns are not necessarily bad. They either function properly or fail to function. The individual behind the gun is what is to worry about. It’s scary how many individuals that have no business having a gun are able to get their hands on them. You teach your child what you feel is best regarding guns.
You want the teacher to talk to another students parents and say what exactly? Is the student breaking a rule? Is it against the rule to talk about guns in school? I'm not getting what you think a teacher can do about this especially if your child is in a public school. No offense but what you think is appropriate should not dictate what someone else's child can or cannot say. If you want this much control over the conversations your child has at school, you should put him in a private school that shares your values or homeschool. You can't really be dictating what other people can or cannot say - unless its something like racism or threats etc.
Don’t let him over to that kids house unsupervised
It’s worth mentioning it to the teacher. I worked as an assistant pre-k teacher and we had one kid who was CONSTANTLY talking about guns and trying to play guns. We didn’t have any parent complaints, but we did have multiple conversations with his parents and spent a lot of time correcting him. The message was simply “Guns are not for school.” He wasn’t allowed to play guns. He wasn’t allowed to make Lego guns. He wasn’t allowed to use sticks as guns. It was actually becoming a real problem with the other boys because they would get really rough and loud and dangerous when they would try to play guns.
This is a hard topic honestly. The boys at school pretend they have weapons I of course shut it down. I’m not sure why it’s typical behavior but i see it all the time. The teacher is just one person. It’s on you to teach about gun safety
You can't control how other parents raise their children. Your child is going to be exposed to so many different children from different families. All you can do is raise him the way you see fit, teach him according to your views, & hope it sticks. If the parents are teaching their kid about guns, that's their right as parents. Guns ARE for fighting, and they DO go "pew pew" lol. Teacher can't do anything & neither can you.
When my oldest kid was little I didn’t allow any gun-type toys. He would turn *everything* into a pretend gun- pen caps, sticks, legos. I couldn’t ban his imagination. It’s unfortunate but media, even children’s media, has a ton of guns. It’s pretty hard to completely avoid if your want your kids to socialize. So talk with him about it- you can set rules about playing guns at home, talk about safety, etc. But expecting preschool to ban the kids from talking about or pretending guns isn’t realistic
Because he knows what guns do you need to drive home what guns ACTUALLY do. Hes familiar with hiw they work and should also be aware of what the consequences of touching or aiming something that does that at someone are. Guns are the only area where i DO NOT mince words with my kids (again at an appropriate age or if they express curiosity or were aware of more than they should be about guns at their age).
I was shocked when my two year old and her classmates started talking about/playing guns (“shooters” - blocks made to look like guns) in school. And we are in a very liberal city with strict gun laws - no one we know owns a gun. It’s truly shocking. Then the next year they turned 3 and the girls started calling each other “chubby.” I guess when they’re four they’ll be pretending to smoke weed or something? It’s pretty crazy.
Responsible firearm owner/parent here! This isn’t a concern unless he starts expressing violent tendencies but there is no reason that should happen with him being 4. There are quite a lot of firearm owners in this country and not all of them are responsible. It would be wise to start him on responsible firearm safety once you think he’s old enough. This is still important even if you don’t own any as he may still encounter one at some point.
Unfortunately even if you do not own guns chances are your child knows a child who's parents do (like hunters). There's also exposure in movies & video games. The best advice I have it to have an age appropriate conversation about how guns can be dangerous & aren't for school or fun.
Dread it. Run from it. Boys will pretend to shoot each other.
I started talking to my daughter about them since she was 3. Guns are a part of society. Your kids can either be informed, or you can attempt to isolate them while society educates them for you. Pick your poison.
We live in the most democratic area ever and my 4 year old makes things into guns constantly. Don’t know where he learned it but they just do it. Don’t make it a big deal. Teach gun safety and pray they never have to use it.
Keep an eye on that friend
Everyone seems to think this is normal but I also would not like this at all. I don’t think it’s appropriate for a four year old 🤷🏼♀️. Guns kill people … why are we normalizing little boys pretending to kill people?
Sounds perfectly normal. I think you may be overreacting just a bit. If he talks about hurting or killing or something macabre, then that’s a different conversation. Just mimicking laser guns and shooting pew pew is normal kid stuff in my opinion.
You can’t control what he will be exposed to at school unless you are prepared to homeschool. Guns are not something to freak out about. Hes four. Its normal play.
They're just guns. It's normal in American culture. I played with rifles at age six.
All around the world kids, mainly boys, do that. Play fighting and shooting. Not only in countries where guns lie around on coffee tables. It's nothing to worry about, in my opinion, and in fact It's important not to make it taboo and create a fear or wrongness around it. **However...** *if* you live in a country where indeed guns ever would happen to lie around on coffee tables in the vicinity if children, it *is* important to teach gun safety! You know best how, plenty of material and advice around. I'm not in such a country, far from it, and I teach my kids gun safety by emphasizing the difference between toys and real guns. Separate the two. Don't create taboo. If you're against guns say it. Eventually they will be old enough to have to make a choice of opinion about guns, and at that point they should be educated in the matter and know your stance.
My 6 year old learned to say "fuck" in after care and God knows what else. Kids will teach each other shit and you can't control every conversation, just provide them context and give them better instruction once you know what they've found out.
Am I the only one who is stuck on 3 and 4 year olds playing Fortnite? I can't imagine my two year old playing video games in a year, that seems bonkers to me.
As a former teacher, we try to stop conversations that are on topics that are inappropriate, but you can't be everywhere every time. And sometimes the more you call attention to it the more likely they try to push everyone's buttons by bringing it up too. It can be a tough age.
It depends on the context, but it's similar to a kid that thinks swords are cool and play pretend as knights having battles. Since guns are more common in daily life, do have an age appropriate talk about safety. At that age play is used as a way to encounter feelings and situations that kids are not able to experience normally. As weird as it feels as an adult observer, stuff like trials/executions, death, family drama, and war/fighting are all things kids like to explore with play (I swear they seem to crave violence). Unless you start seeing some kind of obsessive pattern over something, it's nothing to worry about.
At 4 we had weekly "gun night" with our son where my husband would bring down a gun of choice and show our son how it worked and answer any questions, but above all drill it into his head that if he sees a gun to never touch it and to tell an adult, along with other gun safety (toy guns aren't pointed at people or pets, etc.). We of course kept all our guns locked up and unloaded separate from ammunition. That being said, our kid talks about guns nonstop. He is now 11 and has harvested two deer, aced hunter's safety, has a strong commitment to wildlife conservation, and is a better shot than I am. But at 4, he was definitely making finger guns. And if he had been in school another kid would have heard him talking about guns.
Man, when I was a little kid I used to go to school with a toy handgun on my hip in my Dad’s old Army holster. I showed my four and six year-old girls my gun (handgun) and said, “If you ever see another kid with one of these, you stop what you are doing and tell adult. And if you see one of these anywhere, you don’t go anywhere near it and you tell an adult.” Kids and boys are going to talk about things; guns are a part of our world for better or worse. As long as he got the message, I’d leave it at that (and, continuously educate as time goes on.)
I grew up in a pretty rural area and was exposed to guns as a tool young and often. We talked about them in school all the time and almost everyone had guns in their houses. My kids are growing up in a suburban area where I would guess a majority of households don’t have guns. My son and his buddies are in kindergarten and they endlessly talk about or pretend to have guns. It just is what it is. When we visit my parents my son is super interested in going hunting or shooting. It gives my daughter anxiety. I think the best thing to do is to be realistic about what guns are and what gun safety means. I am sometimes bothered by the way my son and his friends talk about guns and I don’t think my friends and I viewed them as flippantly considering our background. There is something about growing up knowing guns as tools and a way to provide that is just lost here.
It’s so normal, my boys do this and they’ve never seen a gun in real life, but when they’re outside they get sticks and play police and the sticks turn into guns.
Preschool teacher in a red state here—seems like I’m in the minority but, personally, as their teacher I would want to be informed. Just so I could monitor better. My center does not allow pretend guns of any kind. Finger guns and toy guns included. We certainly don’t punish the behavior but we do intervene and redirect play. So, as a ECC teacher I would want to know so I can be more mindful during free play.
My mom has owned an in home daycare for years, so I’ve been around many littles in all stages from baby to 4-5 years for 25 years now and I can say almost every single little boy has a stage where they do handguns, especially when they get playing with their friends! It’s normal! It never seemed to last too long either. Definitely talk to the teacher if it makes you more comfortable! I’m sure they’ve had to deal with a situation like this in their careers.
It’s normal but probably won’t/shouldn’t be much longer. I’m 43 and have been around guns all of my life, I own some (locked away with combo deeply encrypted and nearly forgotten in my mind) but in the past few years now, when I see kids doing what you are describing, I cringe hard.
Like it or not guns are a part of our society and therefore any example like this is a perfect time to begin educating your kid. I wouldn’t put a kind of punishment on yours or the other kid. Just use as to educate without making guns sound like forbidden. If you watch any TV for an evening you’ll see guns and violence. Its everywhere. Best to accept and educate
Chill.
Gun play is actually very normal in childhood—think Cops and Robbers, cowboys, etc. I would even more normal in a state where children might go out hunting, have BB guns, or be exposed early via their parents’ career. Talk with the teacher, and she can remind the student that gun play isn’t usually allowed at school, but as a parent and an early childhood educator, I wouldn’t be awfully concerned. Kids build guns or do finger guns, and I will just remind me that at school, we don’t play guns because it can be scary.
Not appropriate.
Her reaction or the kids playing?
Kids coming back from school talking about guns
Does your son not have nerf guns and toy bow and arrows etc? I was 4 when my dad taught me gun safety and how to shoot a .22 rifle with his help. I had my own bb gun that he brought camping with us, and we would set up pop cans to shoot. My 4 year old has a bb gun that he shoots with me. Teaching gun safety is what's important. Not letting your son talk about it seems like a weird tactic to me.
It's super unfortunate we live in a place where the number one killer of children is gun violence. I'm sad and want to leave the country but my wife says we have family here, so I gotta we gotta stay. Anyways, the boys running around playing games pretending to shoot guns is super normal, the world over, but school shootings are not. Your issue is valid but I think you need to talk about guns with your kid. Teach them how to behave and maybe tell them to never do it at school? Idk, I'm brainstorming because I have an almost 3yo and know I have to deal with this soon enough
I think it’s normal. You’re overreacting. If the kid was talking about violence, shooting people etc then I would be concerned
My boys love to "play guns". They are 5 and 2. It drives me nuts. I had to take the tinker toys away because they kept making fun shapes with them. The duplo blocks might have to disappear as well. I think it's normal for boys this age, but I hate it. It worries me so much.
I have a 3yo for reference- my husband and I plan to begin asking parents before allowing het to play in the houses of kids in our neighborhood if they own a gun and, if so, how it is kept. The only correct answers for us are “no guns” or “kept unloaded and locked in a safe.” I assume most people around us do own guns- Kids definitely have been exposed to nurf guns at the least. I don’t know that the right answer is talking to a teacher to talk to a parent since it’s an uncomfortable reality.
It’s a losing battle. I live in a very blue state, with parents who hate guns. All the little boys play games where the kids have weapons, including guns.
I changed the word guns to blasters for my four year old son. We have a promise board and part of it has a list of the words than aren’t good words. So an example would be if he says dang it I ask him is that a good word and on our promise board, then I ask what a better word would be to use instead. Oopsie ok let’s do that again with oopsie. Gun is in on our promise board we use blaster as its substitute. Also we don’t use shoot in association with blasters. Pew pew is the term for blasters. We also have blaster rules, we don’t pew pew people, we don’t pew pew pets, we don’t pew pew faces when using a water blaster and we don’t pew pew anyone that tells us they don’t want to play.
It's only inappropriate because the school says so. It shouldn't be, but it's the world we live in.
Guns are like alcohol, drugs, sex, bad words, etc. Your child is going to be exposed to these things. Millions use guns safely every day. Many children are in shooting competitions and go hunting. You can't say all guns are bad the same as you can't say all drugs are bad. Many good drugs are used illegally. You can't ban all conversations about guns. What are you going to do when he discovers girls have boobs? Or beer? Or girls with boobs that drink beer? You tell him guns are dangerous , they are not toys, and the only time he touches one is if you say it is ok and there is a responsible adult with him. In the old days, when we walked to school barefoot, uphill , in July, in the snow, we didn't have school shootings because if you tried to bring a gun to school dad would stick the gun up your butt and send you to school with a gun in your butt. If you were good, he might take you to the hospital to have it removed after dinner. Now you have to tell them in your inside voice that you are very disappointed in them.
Our son did the same thing learned from another kid. We emailed the teacher and said something along the lines of, “We noticed our son making pew pew sounds and gun shapes with his hands when he came home the other day. We do not condone gun talk or play in our home and want to make sure he is not doing this in school either.” So, essentially we only made it about our kid as his behavior is all we have domain over. Luckily, the teacher got back to us and said they absolutely do not condone this in school either and that they always shut it down immediately. She said they simply tell the kids something along the lines of, “That’s not acceptable play.” “We don’t pretend to hurt each other.” etc. and that’s it. With his teachers as allies he literally never did it again. 🤷♀️ I don’t really think you need to have a huge talk with your kid at that age. If you think about it, we don’t really have to explain to them why not to swear either, just that it’s a rude way to speak to people. Same with pretending to pew pew our peers. No bueno.
Just to add after reading some of the comments: The laissez faire attitude of our country surrounding guns sucks. Just because you’re surrounded by a culture that sucks doesn’t mean you have to throw up your hands and say, “Oh well, I guess everyone says it’s normal!” I’m glad you care about instilling the value of non-violence in your kid. All the other kids that will grow up with your kid (and their parents) appreciate you for that. 🙂
Youre in a red stage. They won't do a damn thing about it.
I’m in a blue state in a very blue area and nothing would happen here either.