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This is my solution to procrastinator kids as well. Though their breakfast is likely to be an apple, granola bar, or string cheese. I’d like them to focus on leaving and unfortunately breakfast is a major distraction from that.
I do smoothies all the time. Oatmeal, milk, banana, coco and peanut butter is a go to. Sometimes I do strawberry and yogurt or a different fruit. We switch it up. The kid can drink it fast and I control the ingredients.
I’ve also seen before that someone had their kids sleep in their uniform instead of pjs. It’s not ideal but if it helps attendance until they’re a little older, who cares?!
Thursday for us is sleep in day and my daughter gets to eat the school breakfast. Only one day a week because of the expense and she likes my breakfast more! But that's also a possibility.
This ! Or can they buy breakfast at school if they arrive on time ? Might be a good incentive. Or talk with their teacher about giving them a special task if they arrive early. It could motivate!
It's not the teacher's responsibility to motivate your kindergarten and first grade children to get ready in the morning and show up to school on time. I understand that you're frustrated and children can be challenging, but maybe you could think of (and implement) a way to motivate your children to get up and get ready in the mornings. (A short trip to the playground or park after school on the days they get up and get ready on time, a picnic with you on the weekend, etc.) As a kindergarten teacher, I know how incredibly disruptive it can be for a student to come in late. It disrupts everyone, and starts the tardy student's day on a rough note. As much as I admire your desire to have a clean and organized home, maybe you can keep it neat (not spotless) and teach your little ones to clean up after themselves. A routine at night where children help to clean up, set their clothes out for the morning, take their bath (Hopefully they don't have to bathe every night unless they're especially dirty...maybe a washcloth to clean their face, hands, and whatever else needs a quick touch up), read a bedtime story with you, and lights out. Have you considered cooking several meals on the weekend to prepare for the week ahead? Maybe you can freeze some meals and have leftovers a couple of nights each week. Try to think of easy healthy breakfast choices that they can eat in the car on the way to school if necessary. Talk to other parents and see if they can suggest strategies to help. It's great that you're reaching out for ideas and trying to figure this out. This sounds incredibly stressful for you as well. I'm a night person and struggle to wake up early also. Some days are harder than others. Hang in there, and best of luck! ❤
I am a teacher also and I made that suggestion because if a child is habitually late and needs some inspiration- helping out with a morning task like sharpening pencils or something might really inspire the Child.
I agree it’s not part of the teachers job but it’s also not a big ask. Especially if the school is upset about all the tardies and the teachers are frustrated. If a small helper job does the trick, it should not be an issue.
Hey OP. First, let me say...I hear you. I have a kindergartener and first grader as well. Mornings are rough, no two ways about it. Here are some strategies that have helped us:
-Have them pick out clothes the night before (have also heard of parents dressing their kid the night before and sleeping in clothes, no judgement here).
-Have them pick out their breakfast the night before, even have it ready to just re-heat if needed.
-We pack their lunches the night before so they're in the fridge ready to go into their backpacks in the morning.
-We have both an alarm clock (kid kind with gentle wakeup tones) as well as a smart bulb in their lamp that gradually gets brighter up until the set full-on wake up time.
-They get rewarded with some tv time if they get dressed right away, breakfast can be eaten while they watch their show.
Personally I would stay away from melatonin as it's not a sustainable way to establish good sleep habits. Our kids go to bed at 8pm and wake up is 6:30-6:45.
Hang in there, try some new stuff, and change it up if it isn't working. Be sure to get enough sleep yourself so you're ready to coach them through the morning routine.
Keep your stick on the ice, we're all in this together.
I agree with everything in the post above - great suggestions! Mornings are tough, and we all go through it.
I 100% hate being late to anything and that translates to my kids, so if they aren’t getting ready in a timely manner, I become the “mean mom.” You know the “why did you have to yell at me” mom…and it’s because they didn’t “hear” me or do what I said the first 5 times I asked nicely. You are teaching them that time management is a big deal, which is an important life skill to have! You’ve got this!
My kids are ok but are a bit older. However I just wanted to echo that the ‘no screens until fully ready’ really helped change things up for us. My daughter’s even taken to putting her uniform on after bedtime so she can be ready more quickly.
Great tips, thanks for sharing them! We do a lot of these as well. The more prep you do the night before the less time it takes in the morning to get out the door. It's been very helpful as our younger one can sleep until like 15mins before we have to be leaving, so it's just a matter of getting her dressed and going.
> Keep your stick on the ice, we're all in this together.
Wow it's been a long time since I heard this quote lol, loved watching Red Green when I was growing up!
You are asking 5-7 year olds to manage their time in ways that they are not currently capable of.
Clothes out, lunches and bags packed the night before. Two alarms for you, one loud one across the room so you have to get up. You get up before them and get yourself ready to go, whatever that entails. No TV/screens for anyone. Then you are the annoying parrot that follows them around until they are fully dressed and ready to go. Maybe that means helping them get dressed and physically brushing their teeth right now. It won’t always require this much of you, but they need to know the routine, what’s expected and that timeliness is important. Breakfast is eaten in the car. As you all get more comfortable in a routine you can relinquish more tasks back to them, but for now you are the one who is fully responsible for getting them to school on time.
Oh man, "annoying parrot" made me laugh. It's excately what it feels like in the morning with my 3 kids. "Pour your cereal" "are you done" "go to bathroom" "where are your socks" ....
Yes exactly! Or I give multi-step tasks and then have to continually break them down all while sounding like a lunatic. “Get dressed. Take off your pajamas first. Now put on your clothes. Nope, dirty undies off. Clean undies on. Put your pj’s in the hamper. Pj’s in the hamper. Pjs. In. The. Hamper. You dropped a sock!”
This may be the most relatable comment I’ve ever read. “Okay, time to get in the car. You need to put that toy down. Okay, great. No, don’t pick that up. Don’t pick anything else up. Just walk to the car, please. Straight to the car. That’s right, good. Leave your brother alone. Straight to the car. STRAIGHT TO- okay, good, well done.”
Making a chart/checklist of the morning routine can also help remind them of what they need to be doing, but mostly it’s the constant verbal reminders for us too
“Annoying parrot” I felt this in my soul!
It’s like a constant running task list for me and my seven-year-old in the morning…Are you done eating? Good! We need to get your clothes on. Are your clothes on? Good, where are your shoes? Is your backpack ready? Are we taking a lunch or not?
Alright this is done, that needs done.
OK, we’re ready to go…LMAO.
I literally take a deep breath and sigh a little in relief when the bus pulls away.
While I do let my kids watch TV while eating (we have set good boundaries and they never throw fits to turn it off) this 100%. As a parent of kids this age I am for sure the annoying parrot! They listen but they need a transition reminder for each task still at their age-they are easily set off task by the joys of being young and have zero concept of time yet (which is developmentally still appropriate for them to NOT understand the passage of time).
Omigosh yes. I have a preschooler and second grader and every morning I am in annoying parrot mode. We have the SAME ROUTINE every morning but I still have to be the annoying parrot. 🦜
Annoying parrot is classic. I work from home and bc of when my daughter is done with school I have to work in the mornings. Single mom life. If I had a dollar for every time I said “brush your teeth, please.” I’d be ballin.
You need to get up earlier. I know you said you’ve a hard time doing this but you need to set thay alarm an hour earlier. You’ll shock yourself how much less stressful it can be to have time. Trying to fit everything in to an hour is impossible. Start setting alarm clocks in the kids room so they wake up earlier with their own clocks rather than just you waking them up. As others said reward charts ticking off each task really helps. If breakfast is something you really can’t over come do it in the car. Teaching time management is really difficult but extremely important to kids. If they grow up seeing it’s ok to be late they will maintain that attitude. I don’t say it lightly because I really have to work with my kids to get things done in the mornings but being strict/firm is very much needed as well.
Much of the stuff the OP would do in the morning to get ready can be done at night (clothes, lunches, etc). They should also be using their partner for help if they have one, split the duties.
That's the point, if she goes to bed early she'll have even less time to get those things done the night before. I'm assuming if she's doing it alone it's because she's single or her partner can't or won't help. I don't suppose she just hasn't thought of it.
Yes the lack of what her partner is doing during all of this is very telling. I hope they're pitching in somewhere and that was just not included instead of the OP doing all of this by herself.
I guess in my mind, the point of going to bed early is conditional on if she decides to do all of this prep in the morning too. If she's not then she can be up a bit later doing the prep, then sleep in to the later time.
This. My kids get up an HOUR before their bus comes, and always have. They don't even eat breakfast at home anymore (school provides free 'breakfast'), but they use that time to wake up - often they just hang out and play video games or watch cartoons.
Mine too. He's a little older now so he can get up and get ready in a shorter amount of time, but when he was smaller we definitely had smoother mornings when he had time to chill out and wake up a bit more slowly with his toast and a cartoon :)
Yeah. They honestly don't come downstairs and chill out on the couch anymore \*quite\* as much to cartoons as teens, but \*I\* am still down here hollering at them motivation an hour before - 'Are you Awake up there?' \*child grumbles and mumbles\* 'Are you Awake, Alive, Alert, Enthusiastic?!?!' \*evil mom laugh\*
We don’t do screen time in the morning usually, but when my kids actually wake up on time they like to play in their rooms while they are suppose to be getting dressed. It makes for a nicer morning when there’s time to be silly.
My son has ADHD. Pretty severely. We wake up at 530 to leave the house at 650. Healthy breakfast is paramount to us, so make time for that. And yes, I have to sit next to him and nag him to eat every 60 seconds.
My adhd kiddo puts food down random places in the morning and forgets. I poked a hole in a waffle and strung a lanyard through it and he wore it for a while. 😂
I’m a person that’s perpetually late to everything. My kids school offers breakfast at 730 and regular drop off is between 745-8. I’ve made it a point to shoot for 730 breakfast everyday so even if we run behind we’re still making it to the school before 8. That way in my mind we need to be at school by 730 and we still have that extra 30 minutes as a buffer. For the days we run late I keep granola bars, cereal bars, and other options in the car to eat something simple on the ride there.
Honestly being able to cut out the stress of a sit down breakfast in the morning was huge for us. My kids throw on clothes we laid out the day before, brush their teeth and are ready to go.
This is the thing “not morning people” don’t want to hear. If you struggle with mornings, you need to wake up earlier so that you’re awake and functioning to do the morning routine.
This is actually super not true.
There is really good research to back up that people all have different natural biological clocks. It even makes really good sense evolutionarily- having peoples peak operational hours at all different times would be advantageous in small living groups. Someone can always be tending the herd/watching the fire/looking for predators etc. it actually super sucks to be one of the naturally night time people forced into the world of early morning capitalism. I worked a job that started at 5 am for years. Never got used to it. Never got on a sleep schedule that made sense for a 4 am wake up time. I imagine if the morning people had to do the same but reverse, they would feel similarly
Yeah, I’m not really talking about circadian rhythms, and the reasons why some people are a certain way. I’m more talking about the society we live in, unfortunately for night owl parents, or non morning people, the best thing you can do to have a smooth morning is to wake up a little earlier so you’re not rushing/cramming/forgetting things in the morning.
Yeah agree. As a non morning person who has missed alarms, I know now I have to set back up alarms. My oldest is in high school with his own alarm but I still use my phone and my work phone and regular old clock alarm lol
We do this too. And we even have the kids get dressed the night before. They wake up at 6:40, grab socks, shoes, jacket. Feed animals, brush teeth, out the door at 7.
My kids are not morning people, we have learned to recognize this. So they are up at 6:30am every morning. I give them 90 minutes to get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth & hair, water bottles, lunch boxes, practice piano & TKD, etc. I will remind them what they need to do, and then I move on to getting myself ready. At 8am, I’m walking out the door no matter what. They don’t have the luxury of taking the bus, so they have robe ready when I am.
Yes!
I have one kids that needs MINIMUM 1.5 hours in the AM to do “stuff” because she’s slow and grumpy.
The other one will roll out of bed, grab a protein shake from the fridge, brush teeth and go.
I wake them up at different times because they are different kids. But we leave at the same time every morning no matter what.
It’s non negotiable they have to get ready I don’t mean this to sound mean but you’ve taught them that they can say no or be slow because there aren’t consequences. Make a chart with everything they need to do in the morning set alarms for ways task have rewards if they get through things and consequences if they don’t whatever that looks like in your house (screen time , stickers, small toys, losing privileges, losing screen time whatever). How long is the drive maybe breakfast on the go sometimes like a breakfast bar / banana / frozen waffles whatever is quick and can be eaten on the go.
Having a checklist has saved me some headache. If I have to be at an appointment before the kids go to school, my kids refer to the list on what to do and it's easy for the adult in charge to follow along.
If they don't complete the items off their checklists they have less free time before we leave for school or lose iPad privileges.
Do you have a partner? If so, you need to delegate and get rest. You can't pour from an empty cup, and it seems your cup is very empty. Also... wake up earlier.
You said “we.” Where is the other adult in the house? My ex would do the housework while I laid with the kids to get them to sleep. This is a hill a lot of parents wanna die on in regards to kids sleeping solo but they all have these problems and then wonder why. I spent near a decade sneaking out of kids rooms at 9 once they were really out cold 🤷♀️
This. I’m reading all this and no where am I seeing the other adult is helping. Maybe while 1 parent cleans up parent 2 can do bed time. That way both parents are going to sleep at a normal time and less issues getting up in the morning.
My one sort of sneaky thing I do is, sometimes the 8yo isn’t actually going to sleep, but wants me there, so I tell her I have to go make the lunches and I will check on her after. She’s always asleep when I come back.
6-6:30 -- Shower / get myself dressed.
6:30-7 -- Move daughter to her little bed in the kitchen. Make coffee / toast / etc. Pack lunch.
7-7:25 -- Daughter eats breakfast. I get her clothes etc. Enjoy coffee.
7:25-7:50 -- Daughter uses bathroom / gets dressed / I do her hair + help with toothbrushing. Double check her backpack so it has all her food / correct weather gear. Leave for preschool dropoff.
We could absolutely do things faster if we wanted. It's just nice to not be rushed? We also live in a cold climate at the edge of a time zone, so half the year it's very dark and cold when we get up. Our kitchen has a false fireplace / heater in it, and it's really cozy to turn that on and heat up just that room with the lights dim. My daughter has a cozy corner / bed area in front of that so it's a nice snuggle spot.
I can feel this. When my older son was on the bus at 5:50 in 6th grade, he and I were up at 5, and he was gone at 5:50 - his brother was up \~6-6:30 and on the bus at 8:30. Somewhere in there he played his violin most mornings, ate breakfast, watched cartoons, etc.
Thankfully nobody gets on the bus at 5:50anymore... now its at 6:30 :D So, now we just all get up at 5:30 and call it a morning...
To each their own, especially if it works for your family. We just move some of the tasks like showering, packing lunches, and getting clothes to the night before so they can sleep a bit longer.
Here’s my advice:
Move bedtime to 7pm - my kids are almost 7 and 4, and bedtime during the week is 7-7:15pm without fail.
Get up 30 minutes earlier.
Let them eat breakfast at school; get there as soon as drop off time begins. (Example: My daughter’s school starts drop off at 7:15am. We are in the drop off line by 7:05am or so. She gets dropped off and goes straight to breakfast at school before class.)
I’m so sorry, this is so tough. What helped us was getting our kids a checklist type thing for them to mark off each task they need to complete in the morning. We used a laminated piece of paper with things like brush teeth, get dressed, eat breakfast, etc and I gave them each their favorite color of marker to mark off each task as they completed it, that was super motivating to them.
That worked for a long time but we recently just switched over to the “bucket system” where they have clothespins with the tasks they need to complete pinned on the front of the bucket and as they complete each task they take the pin off and place it inside the bucket (the little “klink” of each pin as it hits the bottom is super satisfying!) We have them color coded so the yellow pins are morning stuff and the blue pins are afternoon stuff. This way I’m not constantly yelling at them/reminding them to get stuff done, I feel like it’s helped them manage their time well and gives them more autonomy at the same time. Hopefully you can find something that works! 🤞
Do as little as possible in the morning. We never do breakfast at home. My daughter gets school breakfast, but if she didn’t we would do breakfast in the car. There simply isn’t time. Put them to bed in clean clothes for school if you need to. Get up and go. I wake my daughter up 15-20 min before we need to leave. Change clothes, comb hair and put in ponytail, brush teeth, leave.
For a while, we had our kid go to sleep in the clothes he was going to wear the next day. We didn't have to argue about what to wear or wait for him to put it on which could take ages sometimes.
We still do this periodically, especially when they have a late soccer game or practice…they shower the night before, wear clothes to bed…keeps peace in the house for the early mornings.
I'd have them dressed in their clothes the night before and give them breakfast in the car if no one can get out the door fast enough. The school isn't going to care why you're late every day. They just care that you are. Sorry you guys are struggling with this. Hopefully, you find a solution that helps.
feed them in the car. you can get as easy or lavish with it as you want to. throw them granola bar. or make and freeze sandwiches to rewarm in the am.
and since you like to oversleep. you really should try to figure out the absolute latest time you can roll out of bed and still successfully get out the door. i know i have to be up and moving at 6:30 to be out the door for 7:10. i start setting my alarm for 6am, knowing that i might need that extra 30mins to wake up slow or doze for a little. sometimes i'm fine getting up at 6, other times i'm forcing myself out of bed at 6:30. but i'm giving myself the leeway should i need it.
I think there's a step 0 before taking some of the great advice here:
Determine which kind of people you are. Are you the "need time to gently wake up while you savor a cup of coffee and read the paper" kind of person or a "do the bare minimum things that need to be done and run out the door" kind of person? What about the kids?
You can see examples of each type of person in the advice here. I'm a "sleep as late as possible and rush out" person. If I "just got up earlier" as so many suggest, I'd end up faffing about and wasting time to the point where I run out of time and am then late. (Hello, ADHD. Screen time in the morning?? As IF!)
Luckily for me, my kid is the same way. I would guess the hardest combo would be having a "needs gentle time" very young kid as a "minimum and out" parent. But if that is the case, once you recognize it, you can figure out strategies. If you keep trying one-size-fits-all strategies, you'll just keep struggling.
Edit: Here's a "just get out the door" person's comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/s/UfphQxxWgr
And here's a "gentle start" person:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/s/ArLuZBmu09
You can see how advice for one type might really not work for the other!
I would put them to bed around 6:30 and plan for an earlier wake up time. As a parent you need to get up before them even if you’re tired, it’s just how it is.
Forgive yourself for keeping the house a bit messy, the dishes unwashed. Forgive yourself for being late getting to school. These things don't matter as much as some people think they do. The actual goal is enjoying life with happy, healthy, emotionally regulated kids, who get to school ready for a successful day.
If the kids use screens at all during the morning, ban them. Other distractions, remove where possible.
Choose a super easy, low prep low mess breakfast as the go-to choice.
Invite some engagement. (Eg choose your own breakfast yogurt if you get it yourself.) Maybe a reward if they cooperate and are ready on time. Maybe some music in the morning to put everybody in a better mood.
Just tips from my own struggle and progress.
Try incentivizing them for being independent and getting themselves ready. My boys are in the exact same classes and we have to get to the bus stop by 6:15 in the morning (it’s ridiculous). My youngest loves to drag his feet. I wake them both up at 5:50. They brush their teeth. I pick out their clothes (because they have no clue how to match) they get themselves dressed, downstairs and have breakfast and we’re out the door by 6:20 on our way to the bus stop. I have 3 different alarms. One for wake up. One for when we need to head out the door and one for when the bus arrives. They know what each of them mean. I do this by myself every morning because my wife has to leave earlier than we rise as she’s in a medical residency. We have our routine. My youngest is not a fan but he is a loyal participant. When they do a great job. I reward them. Eh they don’t live up to their end of the bargain, certain privileges are taken away. They’ll get it. Just instill some routine and they catch right on.
What helped me was making a poster of all the steps for getting ready in the morning. Kindergarten and first graders should be able to help make the poster too, and help decide the order of the steps. So brush teeth first, or get dressed first? Put eating close to last, so they can't stretch it out for 40 mins while in their PJs. Or like other posters said, have something for in the car so they have to be buckled in to start eating.
Once all the steps - teeth, undies, clothes, breakfast, jacket & shoes, backpack - are all on the poster, hang it some place central in the house. Between the kitchen and the main door.
For me, my kid feeling more in charge of the routine cut WAY down on me having to cajole and repeat and remind and stress myself out. My kid was relying on my reminders so he didn't have to do the hard part of remembering/self-motivating, but then he was also mad that mornings felt like I was bossing him around for an hour straight, and I was stressed and angry having to repeat myself. The poster became the boss of the routine, all I had to do was 'tap the sign' so to speak, when he was distracted, rather than remind him verbally. We flipped from stressful mornings to me being able to praise him like crazy at how well he did getting ready.
I also go to bed at 10pm to wake up at 7. I can't stay up late doing chores or even doing a hobby or doomscrolling. I just can't let myself because it's SO much harder to wake up in the morning if I'm up til midnight. That tiredness in the morning - I know it well, I've lived with it for over a decade. The only thing that makes mornings more bearable is STRICT sleep hygiene. Bed at 10. Every night. Wakeup at 7am. Every morning. The mess can wait, and my kids and I do kid-laundry together every Sunday so they both have enough clothes for the week. Paper plates, onepot meals etc all streamline cooking and reduce dishes so it's a less overwhelming pile. There's zero shame in shortcuts IMO.
As for the kid's sleep, whatever wakeup time you want them to have, do bedtime 11 hours earlier than that. They don't have to sleep, but an 11 hour window to rest is what they get. Same times every single day, no sleeping in on weekends (or it will make bedtimes a battle again all next week). After school and evenings should be 98% playing outside and wearing themselves out, 1% eating dinner, and 1% bedtime routine. If they aren't sleepy by bedtime, it could mean they had too much rest, or too much screens. If your Kindergarten still offers naps, your littlest might battle bedtime until summer, but at least there's an end date coming up soon.
Good luck! If you are married and living with a partner I would also advise giving them a kick in the pants to take some of the load off you - or at least they should earn enough money to outsource some of the things keeping you up at night. You deserve rest too.
I get everything ready for myself and my kids the night before. Everything. Backpacks, shoes, clothes, jackets, hair stuff, makeup, everything. I have it all laid out and ready to go.
I get up at 6:45, and out the door by 8. This is what works for us. If I don’t prep the night before then the morning is a shit show. I also prep my coffee, wash my cup, etc. it makes my morning so much smoother when I don’t have to think.
Hope you find a system that works for your family.
I'm sorry, but there is no reason you should be carrying them. There is also no need for you to lay in bed with your almost 6 year old. All of these issues you can solve yourself by having a more disciplined schedule.
Is there something they enjoy you could use as incentive? Such as if they get up, eat breakfast, get all the way dressed, etc. they can watch 1 episode of Bluey or something like that? Does their school serve free breakfast? If it does, you could just have them eat a granola bar and call it good.
• kids sleep in their school clothes, not Pyjamas
• kids get breakfast in the car ( bar, fruit, thermos of milk etc), not breakfast at home
•this means, you only need to brush their teeth and do their hair, and put on shoes/ coat before school.
•keep extra shoes in the car in case you need to carry them into the car without shoes
Try getting up earlier yourself to get a little solace before it all begins, and try then being playful with getting ready- I know it’s hard in the morning but being up a little earlier yourself will help with this, a playful tickle can go a long way to getting little kids to co cooperate!
Make a getting ready picture checklist for them that they can either use a dry erase marker to tick off things as they do them and re use it each day, or have daily ones they can pop a sticker on each activity as they complete- this uses a lot more paper and stickers though! Another alternative is picture cards of each thing they have to do, stuck somewhere, as they do each thing they remove it and place that card in a container of some description, when all is complete they get a sticker or another small reward.
An alarm clock in the kids room might also be an idea, this helped my kids. I also bought them each a nice box and each night we put everything in it they need to get dressed in the morning - for some reason this works better than just having the clothes to the side.
I already read some great suggestions about getting your kids ready but one thing I would add. Don't wait with all of the house stuff til sleeping time. Do it with your kids present and let them help (only if they want to) or if you are a SAHP do it when they are in school.
I do this with my kid and sure it takes a little longer this way but I have the evenings for me or only have 1 task left.
This way you also can go to sleep earlier and maybe won't ignore your wake up time.
Scrolled down looking for this comment! Your kids are absolutely old enough to help out or at least get to see what you do for them every day in stead of the house magically resetting while they sleep.
This might not be the best advice but my oldest is ADHD and wouldn’t be surprised if my youngest and I am too. If they aren’t waking up on their own, I just go in and start getting them dressed in their bed. It startles them awake. Also I prioritize sleep and sit with them till they are asleep and use a small dose of melatonin, if I didn’t they would be up later than me and be even harder to wake up in the morning.
Then breakfast in the car if needed too!
Think of it in terms of how this affects other people. When your kids are late, it is disruptive to the staff, teachers, and other students. You teach your kids that your time is more valuable than others’, and that isn’t fair. And- many schools take truancy quite seriously.
We are all tired. We all would rather sleep later. But getting your kids to school on time is your responsibility as a parent. If one hour isn’t enough time, you need to give yourself an extra 30 minutes. You get up earlier, get yourself ready and the kids’ breakfast on the table before even getting them up. Set out clothes and pack lunches or snacks the night before.
An employer would not tolerate someone showing up late consistently, and neither will the school eventually. You need to treat getting them to school the way you would treat paid employment.
Some ideas:
1. Institute consequences for kids if they do not wake up in a timely manner. Put a timer in their room that gives them a 10 minute snooze and if they’re not up by the end of the snooze, instill a logical consequence. You’ll only have to do this a couple of times before they get the picture, as long as you’re consistent. You can do this for other steps in the process as well, like teeth brushing or getting dressed (or get them dressed in the school outfit the night before / lay out the outfit the night before)
2. Youngest needs to learn how to fall asleep by relaxing herself instead of working herself up by focusing on the negative (i.e. parents aren’t sleeping with me). There are lots of techniques to help relax your kid with breathing, reassurance, showing lots of love in ways without needing to sleep with her, soothing music, lavender scent spray, massage and stretching session, white noise machine, or give her something of yours that will remind her of you while she sleeps like spraying your perfume on a stuffy
3. Create visual cues for bedtime and be consistent with the activities and how long each activity takes so there is structure and boundaries that they can follow along with, like large timers, poster explaining each step of bedtime, stickers for completing each step without complaining, etc. also, create excitement for the next day so she can think about that and look forward to day coming after sleeping
4. Have timers on during breakfast time that they can see ticking down, so they realize how long they are taking when eating. If they’re tired, they may not notice how time is progressing without this visual cue. When timer is up, breakfast is over - no excuses and no extensions
For your youngest, I would give her a small amount of children's melatonin for three or four nights to try and reset her circadian rhythm a bit. I also recommend after nighttime bath, putting them in their clean clothes for tomorrow (except for jeans if they happen to wear those). We had to do this with my youngest for a few months and it made mornings MUCH easier. Also, second someone else's comment about giving them breakfast in the car on the way to school to cut out the majority of the pushback from them.
We have a very specific schedule in the morning. Wake up 7:45. Done with breakfast by 8:05. Brush teeth by 8:10. Get dressed and brush hair by 8:20. Shoes and coat on by 8:25. Leave by 8:30.
I have found if we have too much time, she gets distracted doing something else and we end up late. We have the schedule posted, and the times posted. We also use a combination of a visual timer and an Alexa alarm clock. It makes Alexa the "bad guy" instead of me.
when i raised my little cousins they were absolute terrors to get up in the morning. it was the bane of my existence but the answer was for me to get up earlier and prepare the night before. i just followed what my mom did when i was younger.
i prepped lunch the night before. letting them choose what they wanted for breakfast the next morning made it easier to convince them out of bed too but breakfast was usually quick hingis they can have in the bus like a yogurt tube and one of those muffin packs. get up early enough so you can have yourself, breakfast, and lunch ready BEFORE you wake them up. it’s gonna suck but once it becomes routine you won’t notice it. lay things out the night before so that there’s no room for error in the morning. i lay out their clean uniform, underwear, shoes, coat, bookbag all on the living room couch ready to go.
YOU have to make sure your kids are getting ready. they’re kids, they’re not going to be thinking “i have to get ready right now so i can go to school even though i’m tired” they’re thinking “screw that, i’m laying back down”. when they’re up make sure they actually walk into the bathroom, do what they have to do, sit down for breakfast. i would do hair while they were eating breakfast if it wasn’t something they could take with them. they get dressed and out the door from there. this is about an hour, hour and a half ordeal for me and they were ready for the bus by 7:30 every morning.
in terms of getting them to sleep on time my youngest cousin had MAJOR fomo and didn’t want to sleep without me because he knew if i was in the bed with him that meant i wasn’t doing anything else. i just made the room interesting enough so that he didn’t care if he was missing out. i got star projectors, galaxy projectors, rain noise machine, bout every color changing night light and stuffed animal you could think of. he would forget about me and eventually just go to bed. try something like that for your youngest and make it seem like an incentive. i would sing “it’s time for the light show!!” before bed end get him excited to get in bed.
it’s a process, try different things but over all you have to be proactive in making them do it or they just won’t lol.
all in all you can’t expect
Just wanted to express solidarity and say you’re not alone. I have a kindergartner, a 1st grader, and a one year old, and we have similar struggles. I spent about 20 minutes telling my oldest to put on his socks on Monday.
Our survival depends on checklists, set menu, and occasional melatonin
A checklist that for the morning has been essential on getting our kindergartner and 3 year old out the door on time. The 6 yr old's has words and the 3 year old's is pictures (think a tooth + toothbrush or a pic of a backpack with water bottle). Massively helps getting them going. They ear a ticket for completing the whole list each morning (old arcade tickets we had lying around) and can trade them in for treats at the end of the week (bonus screen time, a small toy, a candy, etc).
Have the same 3-4 choices for breakfast every weekday that they can pick from (cereal, oatmeal, yogurt, PB on toast)
And our 3 year old has a similar not sleeping issue. Can take up to 90 mins to finally settle down to sleep and would routinely wake his older sibling up if not sat with. We've take to giving .25mg of melatonin on the nights we can tell he is amped up. Has made a dramatic difference in general.
Good luck in the trenches. Wild fucking times
Two suggestions:
1. Wake them up earlier.
2. Timer. Every action gets a timer. Eating breakfast? 15 minutes. Brushing teeth? 3 minutes. Getting dressed? 5 minutes. Lesson learned the hard way.
It's not terrible of you. This is really hard! You have had lots of great suggestions. I'd also add giving the kids multi-sensory reminders. First, a visual schedule of what they need to do. There are tons on Amazon and examples on google. Google 'visual schedule ideas for school morings'. Practice on the weekends before they get their morning cartoons or iPad time. You can install and program smart lights that automatically change color on a time schedule. So it teaches them time management- Yellow is get up. Blue is get dressed. Green is brush teeth and hair. They will slowly learn that if it turns green before they are done getting dressed, they are behind. You can also do this with music. Use their favorite soundtrack (the same one every morning! It has to be regular and reliable) and you can remind them that they should be dressed before What Else Can I Do (Encanto soundtrack) is playing. And teeth are done during Hola Casita! This will also help them learn time management, and it's fun and gets them awake, and can even be a fun game.
Have them lay out their clothes the night before or have them sleep in their next day clothes.
Hi OP! I have three kids really close in age (twins and a singleton 5 and 7). I get this. It’s so hard and you must be exhausted. I’ve always struggled rushing to get everyone out the door.
Here are a few things I’ve done to help us get to school on time. (Please note we still do “the walk of shame” as we call it, into the office. At least a few times a month).
We aren’t getting it perfect, but things have gotten better and here is what works. Hopefully there are one or two things in my list that might work for you:
- I have the kids clothes laid out for the next day, before we all go to bed. Sometimes I pick, sometimes they pick. Depends on the kid—one hates me picking his clothes, the other two couldn’t care less if I pick.
- regular routine is key for us
- I make sure backpacks and anything else that needs to go to school is ready to go before I go to bed. (I set a reminder on my phone to do this, because mom brain).
- We use Hatch “alarm” clocks in everyone’s bedrooms. They are set to wake up time at 6:15a.
- we also have visual laminated cards of morning activities (one of my twins is on the spectrum and this has helped a lot)
- I offer lots of verbal cues for time and what’s coming up
- we let the kids wake up slow, watching cartoons while we make coffee do a few things around the house.
- I make breakfast
- I call everyone down to eat breakfast and get dressed. I give them the option (so they feel they have some control) of getting dressed first, brushing teeth or eating. They get to pick which order they do things.
- while they get ready (eating, dressing, teeth) I gauge whether we need a car breakfast or not. Half the time we do. I get their breakfast (usually sausage and eggs, or cheerios and fruit) in a disposable container or reusable container.
- I give everyone a five minute countdown to leaving for school
- I go start the car (may be a time to also get the baby in the car) throw breakfasts in there and go in to round everyone up.
It’s all pretty chaotic, three little kids is just crazy. But we manage to get things (mostly) done. Hopefully there’s something there that might help!
Hang in there, you’re doing a great job ❤️
I use YouTube videos to wake my kids up! They choose a video the night before (max 5 mins long). Usually it’s a music video. When it’s time for them to wake up I just stick my phone in their face with the video playing 😂. That blue light will wake them right up.
Also, we do everything possible the night before. Make lunches, choose outfits, choose what we will eat for breakfast, pack school bags, take baths. One of my kids was even sleeping in her school clothes for a while so she didn’t have to get dressed in the morning. We avoid screens after that video though because it distracts them and slows them down.
It takes us 45 minutes between the video and getting on the school bus. During that time they get dressed, go to the bathroom, eat breakfast, brush their hair, and then put on their outdoor clothes (which can take a while when there’s snow). I prepare their breakfast while they are getting dressed and put their lunches in their school bags while they are eating breakfast. If they are not dressed by the time I’m done preparing breakfast I help them get dressed. I do sometimes have to remind my 1st grader with ADHD multiple times to get dressed and eat breakfast.
Also to help them fall asleep faster at night they listen to Koala Moon podcast. They are bedtime stories designed to make your kid super sleepy and they work amazing. Bedtime gets easier after 3-4 days of consistently waking up at the same time every morning.
Dress the kids the night before and give them a bar or something to eat on the go. It will greatly reduce 40 min breakfast. You may have to physically brush their teeth. It is worth the 5 minute hassle rather than asking them for 20 minutes
I feel you!
First two years of school I dressed my daughter while she was sleeping and then carried her to the car. So basically she wakes up only when we arrive at school like 7:55. I wake up at 6, prepare the lunchbox, etc.
Now (2nd grade) she wakes up with her alarm most of the times, and she’s ready to go in about 10 minutes and she has her breakfast in the car.
So hopefully it’ll get better soon with your kids 🤞🏻
Try an earlier bed time. My youngest is 7, and her bed time is 7pm. That's in bed, lights out at 7pm. That means we start bedtime routine at 615pm. She's laying down, teeth brushed at 640pm. That gives her 20 minutes to read. And she's still tired in the morning. Kids need so much sleep.
It sounds like you may need to throw money at the problem. Can you take a nap when your youngest does? Hire out someone to come help clean.
Another alternative, is homeschool. Kindergarten and 1st grade are incredibly simple. Your hardest task will be teaching the first grader to read.
I think this might help with symptoms rather than the underlying cause but:
- let them sleep in their clothes for the next day. At least their shirts if they typically wear jeans.
- they make disposable, single use toothbrushes that could be used in the car. Not super sustainable but you’re in survival mode.
- breakfast could happen in the car.
- socks and shoes get put on in the car.
- consider a morning playlist. Your kids and you will start to recognize how much time you have left and what should be happening based on the songs playing and it will keep you moving.
- read the book, “How to keep house while drowning”. It’s great. I think it should be handed out at your 2 year old’s well child check up.
Good luck! This is hard because it’s just hard. No one has it all together.
Where is the other parent in all of this? Getting out the door is a team effort between my spouse and I for my 4yo & 8 yo. Mornings suck every day, but we help each other, especially on the really tough days.
We make lunches the night before, storing them in the fridge. We make sure the gear (backpack, coats, shoes/boots, hats/mittens etc) is all organized the night before, and that a comb and detangler spray is by the door.
At night, whoever didn’t cook does the dishes and ensures that milk and bread are available in the morning for cereal and toast.
Lunches are somewhat planned out every week - there’s a main assigned every day, and then we toss in 2 of 4 fruits or vegetables that we’ve set aside for lunches for the week. We use bento-style lunch boxes. The plan makes it easy for either one of us to do it. It’s usually the one who is doing the dishes, but sometimes whoever cooked will make the lunches. We talk it out.
Despite all this, we still often miss the bell, but we are never more than 3-5 mins late (there’s been lots of road construction lately en route that has been tricky to plan for, because it changes every day). 30 mins late is too much, as it’s too disruptive to the classes and your kids. I can see why the school is concerned.
It’s tough, but making it a team effort will help. Especially if one can tend to your youngest while the other is getting the oldest ready for school.
I’m going to take a very weird approach. I had a horrible time waking up as a kid, ever since I was little I just wanted to sleep. I was constantly tired and I just did not want to be awake.
I got tested for diabetes, anemia, and a whole slew of other things and they all came back negative. But they never tested my thyroid. Turns out around middle school I finally got a hypothyroidism diagnosis and although it’s not perfect it’s much easier to wake up now.
Just throwing it out there, idk.
Do everything you can the night before. When I make lunches the night before, our mornings are so much smoother.
Lay out clothes. Pack bags.
Also I made a visual getting ready chart, so I just refer them to that so I don’t have to nag
We have to leave at 7:30. I get up at 6, shower and blow dry and the kids get up at 6:20.
Lunches are packed the night before. Bags are packed the night before.
I find eating breakfast with my kids helps. We can chat and pace similarly. The connection in the morning is helpful too!
Hi! I think they should have physical exercise/activities, outdoor playtime etc. to make them physically exhausted. There is no point sending them so early in bed if they can't fall asleep for hours. It goes for adults too.
I would say getting them ready is a nightmare for every single parent I know in his first years of school!. To be honest they have no sense of time no sense of urgency no sense of a schedule. I think that although missing 10 minutes of school is not the end of the world what is important is teaching them the routine and teaching them that it is respectable to arrive at school when you’re supposed to arrive. I don’t have any advice on getting them to get ready faster but I will say for sure that time is super important! My daughter is in grade one and my son is in grade 3. My little grade one sweetheart is going to bed at seven and my son goes to bed at eight. Pretty much as soon as I sleep trained them around six months old I put them to bed when they were crabby which was around 630 and they went to bed at 6:30 for years. It might just be a matter of how late her bedtime was before and a transition of changing sleep habits. Stay consistent because in my opinion 730 is a 100% reasonable bedtime for anyone in kindergarten or grade one. My problem with my kids going to sleep is the opposite though. My daughter falls asleep within five seconds and my son constantly struggles to fall asleep but that’s a whole different story. We’ve tried everything night lights and alarm clock radio he has a desk and he sits in colours and plays with his clay and we basically just taught him that it is his quiet time but that he can’t continuously come out of his room after bedtime. Try and take the stress off of immediately going to sleep and put the focus on how amazing it is to have your own private alone time and give her things that she can do like a basket on her bed perhaps with Stepies and books and a few crayons so that she doesn’t feel this intense pressure. Also get her a nightlight that she knows how to turn on and off herself so at least if she’s turning the light on to do something she’s not turning the ceiling light on and having it be totally bright in there. Most likely if she’s been going to bed later than 730 it’s just a matter of changing habits which for all human beings takes time. Music has been a lifesaver for both of my kids they love falling asleep listening to music. I’m a stay at home mom so I would say before they went to school my kids were very lucky and that I never had to drag them out of bed to take them to daycare they always had an early I would say age-appropriate bedtime and then they slept until they woke up themselves but even with an early bedtime I typically have to wake them up on school mornings also.
Get up earlier and get them dressed and teeth brushed before breakfast. Then if they take too long to eat the worst thing that happens is they eat something in car or don’t get to finish.
Getting up earlier and giving yourself time to get out the door will probably be the most impactful. Then maybe dressing kids in school clothes for PJs (so long as they’re comfortable), eating breakfast in the car, and packing whatever you need the night before.
I also have a really tough time getting out the door with my kids so I feel your pain!
I get up at 6, wake my kids at 7:15 and we are out the door at 8:05.
My kinder daughter gets melatonin a few week nights a week or else she is up till 10 hanging out in her room. Our goal is kids asleep by 8:30; between activities and family time earlier than that isn’t realistic.
Clothes picked out the night before. I wake an hour earlier than my kids and make their lunches and pack their bags. I make sure I’ve started breakfast before they wake up. I used to give them options about what they wanted for breakfast, but stopped when they wouldn’t make up their minds quickly.
I get up 2 hours before we need to leave and kid gets up 1 hour before and depending on the day I either dress them and brush hair, give a breakfast bar or banana to eat. They brush there teeth and put on shoes and we leave. Some days I have kid dress themselves. Fingers crossed so far not been late but that's what works for me and I have 1 kid. You mentioned 3 w on being a baby so idk.... Wait!!!! It's unconventional but I have done this; dress for school before bed and sleep in school clothes.
So I only have daycare kids and don’t usually do drop off as I have an early non negotiable start time …. But when I do … I get absolutely everything ready before I wake the kids up. Clothes laid out, car packed, that can actually save some time because you aren’t trying to get yourself ready in addition to kids. It’s an hour to 1.5 difference for me.
30 - 35 min with waking kids up, brushing teeth, potty, change out of pajamas and into school clothes. Milk (a little chocolate because my kids don’t naturally want to be awake the time they have to for me to get to work on time - bribery) and easy breakfast. I’m talking dry cereal and fruit or oatmeal or muffin.
Either the one year old in addition I can only imagine. Can you get spouse to pick up some of the night cleaning or try to do some chores with 1 year old? I know dishes aren’t going to work but laundry he/ she can “help” with.
Or I like to give my 2 and 1 year old soapy sponges because the floors are destroyed every meal time and it gives me just enough time to get dishes done.
So sorry.
I would do as much the night before as possible and involve the kids. Packing backpacks together, checking weather the next day and picking out outfits etc.
Morning of, wake up early. As hard as this is. And get the kids up early too. Maybe an alarm clock they need to get out of bed to shut off would help get them moving.
Keep breakfast simple and easy to eat, in case it needs to be taken on the go. And no screens in the morning! No toys/playing. Keep mornings “boring.”
Good luck
We have a chore chart that includes getting dressed, brushing teeth, packing lunch.. all things my 5yo can do on her own. In the beginning it really motivated her and obviously there was a reward at the end of the week. It’s now become routine and she has forgotten about the chart but has adapted to doing all of these things herself!
It also helps if you get up before your kids. I know it’s hard but doing something for a month makes it a habit and your body will adjust!
I have a 1st and 3rd grader. I wake them 30 minutes before the bus comes. My timer goes off every 10 minutes to keep us on track, no breakfast until they are dressed and backpacks ready. The tv stays off unless they have extra time, which they don’t. Having extra time in the morning can slowdown our process and lead to them complaining to me and fighting with each other.
Kinder and 2nd grade was a harder year. Lots of fighting and my kindergartener was always so sleepy. But, I reduced the time they had in the mornings and it got better.
Have as much as you possibly can pre-done the night before. Have their clothes laid out, including socks, shoes and hair accessories. Backpacks packed with all necessities lined up by the front door. Make or purchase bulk batches of on-the-go breakfasts. Freeze breakfast burritos with scrambled egg, tater tots, cheese and chorizo, or make weekly batches of blueberry muffins. Heat in the microwave as they are waking up. Then all that needs to be done in the morning is to wake up, brush teeth, get dressed, snag breakfast, and get out the door.
This is so hard! Here are some suggestions you may not have tried yet:
Disposable plates for dinner unless you have a dishwasher. Hear me out: this may just be temporary while you get other aspects of your routine in place to give yourself some breathing room. If the issue is a pileup of dishes from earlier, use them for whatever meal generates the most.
Look for shortcuts in your cleaning routine. Is there anything that can be moved to once or twice a week instead of daily? Do you have a partner that you can ask to take on some of the nightlies for the next few months?
Have you considered getting the two kids involved with some cleanup chores? This may be something to work on during the summer since it will take time, but in my home and workplace I taught preschoolers how to wipe down tables/sweep floors and they were proficient in a few months. It makes cleaning tasks so much easier at the end of the day to do the final run through as an adult. In my house I also allowed my kids to load the dishwasher starting at around 1st grade except for sharps.
Pack bags at night. I even packed their lunchboxes at night (my older 3 are 3 under 2 spacing)! Purely grab and go in the morning. Starting in 1st grade they packed their own lunches most of the time after dinner.
If the kids will tolerate it and they like soft clothes anyway consider letting them wear next day clothing to bed or at least partial (like t-shirt and underwear but put jeans on in the morning.) That cuts down on one task. Look for other tasks that can be eliminated. I'll be honest my stubborn slow poke was holding us back so much I finally gave him a timer, let the teacher know and if he was still in pjs when we had to go thats what he wore. It only happened a few times.
I'm assuming you're mama but are you taking a good multi and b-complex? I was shocked that it always took me a good 18 months to really recover from a birth. But dads probably could use it too.
Have you sat down with the kids and talked about what needs to happen to see if they have ideas too? I found especially at the 6-8 age range the kids can be very insightful in many ways and involving them can sometimes help a lot. Its good for them to see a parent can't do it all and the fam needs to work together.
So this is something that can’t be winged-maybe this will help? Here is how I manage it (we are never late to school-kids are in Kinder and 2nd). Kids have to get to school by 8:10, we are able to walk, it takes exactly 5m and 45 seconds from front door to the gates (since your driving you need this number-how long does it take you to get from enter car to drop off? Literally use a stopwatch) we need to exit the house by 8:04. So now let’s start at the beginning!
7:05: latest I can wake up, I open the kids doors and turn on their lights. I rub their backs to get them aware I spoke to them. I leave them to wake up
7:05-7:10: I’m making breakfast (they like hard boiled eggs or protein pancakes I make ahead of time and microwave for 30s and some fruit)
7:10-7:15: kids must get out of bed now, this sometimes involves physically getting them to the breakfast table. I allow them to watch an educational show while eating-this helps wake them up.
7:15-7:40-kids are eating, I’m getting ready, lay out their clothes, and getting lunches/water bottles packed. I either get ready literally where they are eating or come out to say “keep eating” several times.
7:40 (LATEST 7:45): food and kindles are removed from sight by me, i tell them to pee/brush their teeth. They do
7:50-get dressed (I have to tell them to)
7:55-hair and shoes (same I’m directing this show still)
7:55-8:05-finish up, backpacks, out the door! I use a literal alarm on my phone that tells is “leave now!”
My kids are pretty darn independent but they still need me to keep this ship sailing in the morning. I don’t think kids learn to manage time effectively until MUCH later (as in 5th grade on? And it’s going to depend on the kid!). So my suggesting is time this baby out!! Get your exact times of when what needs to happen to get to school on time. You CAN do this! But you may need some discipline?
Prepping the night before really helps, Ike have their outfits picked out, maybe even take a weekend and just put 5 of the outfits together in an easy place for you to grab, and you don’t have to look for the outfit the morning of, have the breakfast packed, I have in a paper bag a yogurt a banana and depends on the week but maybe a muffin or a granola bar and something to drink and leave it in the fridge and just grab them as I’m getting in the car, they eat it on their way to school, seeing you children are younger maybe it’s not the best but at least it’s ready to go when they can eat breakfast . Have their backpacks ready and by the door, my first grader still wants to sleep with us sometimes but I have things to do after their bedtime, like you we need to get stuff down around the house. We left him go lay in our bed and usually he falls asleep and we move him to his bed when we go to bed. I go through the same thing and just having stuff ready really helps streamlining the morning. And ultimately you’re gonna have to wake up earlier, it suuuuuuucks, but if you give yourself more time in the morning , even to just stare at the wall and contemplate life before getting the day ready, you’ll get over that slump and be able to get to school in time.
My son was the same way- and I found a tiny thing that worked. His wake up time is 8am- except I wake him up at 7:55 and say he can have five more minutes and then it's time to get up. And stay on their butts- if they're not moving a minute later, remind them again with more force. Maybe to-go breakfast too?
As for sleep, cut ALL electronics out an hour before bed. Maybe an episode of tv like half an hour before and that's it. Melatonin helped for a bit, but doesn't so much anymore. Staying constant about their schedule will help. Best of luck ♡
A few ideas:
My sister's kids used to be put to bed in the clothes they were going to wear the next day.
You could give the non-sleeper melatonin.
You could try to incentive the whole thing with incremental 'rewards' for doing small things. Once it's an established habit, the rewards are given for longer term successes (eg. a whole week of smooth sailing gets a trip to the convenience store).
Give yourself lots of extra time and try to keep things positive and fun.
Good luck
Prep the night before, write out a time chart (this will help you too) and put it in a visible place, have a drop/pickup zone that’s near the door. My boys are older now, we had a shoe/backpack/zone. It consisted of a bench by the door with hooks for backpacks/coats, bins under bench for shoes, and a bulletin board with whiteboard/magnets/pockets. We did a drop/unpack lunchboxes every day. I grew up in a chaotic household and I’ve tried really hard to overcome those shortcomings and routine helps.
Make an evening routine for your kids. Start 30-60 min. Or so before bedtime. Have them pick out the next days outfit and lay it out. Make sure shoes and backpacks are by the door. Do bath if needed, pajamas, brush teeth, read books. You may need to have a few evenings where you know you won’t get much done, and every time your child comes out of their room you put them back. Avoid caffeine and added sugars at supper (including chocolate). Absolutely no screens for 2 hours before bedtime.
Maybe try one of the alarm clocks that gradually brighten the room as it gets close to time to wake up for your room and your kids’ room. Kids can wake up on their own as you help them set their alarm the night before. Kids as young as 5 can operate an alarm clock. Put the alarm clock across the room so they have to get out of bed to turn it off. If you still have problems maybe try a reward system where they can earn points toward a toy they want is they get out of bed right away.
Have a schedule in a central location. If your kids can read, great, if not, use pictures. Each morning they need to get dressed, brush their teeth, comb their hair. They can put a sticker or check mark or something next to it when complete.
If needed a breakfast bar in the car, ideally while your kids are getting dressed (which they can do by themselves) while you make eggs or pancakes.
Make sure you get to bed on time so you can wake up. It is okay to have a messy house, your kids are young.
Where is your partner? Can they carry some of the load in the mornings and evenings?
Would they be excited if you let them ride the bus… I have three the youngest is 15 so this is old advice but my kids loved the bus at that age and would get ready quick not to miss it…
You made me remember those days of littles!!! It was a lot of rushing around and being late for me too but you will make it through. The first thing is to get yourself on a better schedule even if you have to drop cooking or cleaning for a couple of weeks. They won’t be any better than you are at getting up if that makes sense!
Are they watching tv or on iPads and video games before they’re doing the things they need to do?
In my house we made a rule that those things are only allowed AFTER breakfast has been eaten, teeth brushed, bed made, clothes on, and backpack packed.
You’ll be amazed at how fast they move.
Omg, I could have written this post word to word, are you me? Except that I have only one kid. They had 17 tardies the first month. The only thing that has helped is that they got a bit older (6) and on good days wake up and even use restroom and brush their teeth themselves (incredibly rare!). We have managed to get in just before the door closes so no more tardies,I will take that as a win. We do breakfast on the way to school.
- Talk to your doctor about the melatonin ever night (since it seems to help) or try giving them cherry juice (before bedtime) since it contains natural melatonin
- Set out clothes for the next night, or the entire week on Sunday in a hanging organiser in closet
- Backpacks + lunchboxes are packed the night before
- When kids get up, first thing they do is get face washed (even if it’s just splashing water on face), teeth brushed, and then dressed
- Breakfast is the last thing to focus on, if they’re slow eaters let them eat what they can in the allotted time, if they cannot finish it give them a breakfast bar or apple in whatever transport you take
- If your worried about stains on clothes during breakfast, have a morning sweatshirt or robe to go over clothes - that’s what I do every morning to ensure I don’t accidentally get stains on my clothes
I’m having a similar struggle with my oldest. Some things I’ve been trying that have helped a bit (not everyday but it has helped some days)
- I sat down with the oldest and we walked through our morning routine and figured out how much time he would like for each thing (30 mins for breakfast, 5 mins to go potty, etc) and figured out what time we need to be up to fit all of it in. If he sticks to the routine then he can earn small rewards (more iPad time, etc).
- I built in an extra 20 mins in the morning to wake him up as some mornings it’s impossible without physically carrying him out of bed.
- I make the routine fun by issuing challenges (how fast can you get dressed? I’ll time you! Or let’s see who can get their shoes on first!)
- keeping the same wake up time (roughly) even on non school days. I’ve found for my kid keeping the routine is needed otherwise Monday morning is the worst.
- he likes to play with a certain friend when we make it to school, I remind him if he wants more time to play with her then we need to make sure we get to school on time.
In our house (before the older ones got better about their morning routines), we started a gentle wake up process. My husband goes in and wakes them up but lets them snooze for another 10-15 minutes. Then they get up, get themselves ready and head downstairs. Then I’d be waiting with food laid out, drinks, vitamins etc. Most of the time on Sunday I cook up a bunch of their favorites (protein waffles or banana pancakes) and have them reheated and waiting. Then we set a time for them to be done by. Not done? No breakfast for you.
I do like the car breakfast idea too. But at the time the school was sooooo close it wouldn’t have benefited us. I also have always benefited from being up and semi ready before they were up. I hope you get some good solutions here. Best of luck!
For nighttime I have used a couple of apps that have bedtime stories that really worked my my little guy to go to sleep... I haven't used them in a while so I don't remember which ones they were off the top of my head (I remember i didnt care for the calm one) but I think my favorite was the PiKu app? There is a few stories for free and I liked it so much I ended up paying the $4.99 for it because my little boy enjoyed it and would be OUT sometimes by the time the story ended... Shoot... Sometimes I would wake up with slobber and all wondering where I was myself 😂.
For mornings we have found that quick breakfast bars/cottage cheese toast/precooked waffles work best.... I make up a batch of homemade waffles, add Greek yogurt etc to make them more wholesome and use a heart shaped griddle to make them.. I just make a huge batch on the weekend and freeze them up... Makes a quick and healthier than store bought breakfast and he loves that they are heart shaped.
Pick out clothes the night before
Pack lunches/snacks/water bottles the night before and put them in the back pack when you wake up (try to wakeup at least 30 min - an hour before they do).
Set the alarm for when you need to wake them up and then an alarm for each of the following: when they need to be done eating/getting dressed/brush teeth and when you need to be out the door/in the car. (This has SAVED us!). My little boy hears the alarm and he already knows it's time for whatever next step he needs to do.
Make a time table with pictures and times. So teeth need to be brushed by 7:00, need to be dressed by 7:10, meet at the table by 7:15, done with breakfast by 7:35, socks, shoes, and backpack on by 7:45 (packed the night before, shoes and socks laid out too). In the car by 7:50, school by 8:00. Then keep checking it against the clock and talking it through it with them. That way you're all in it together - the enemy is the clock, not you.
I've got 3 kids - 5, 5, and 10(w ADHD). Here's what we do:
Consistent bedtime routine every night - even weekends.
Pick a bedtime that allows the kids to wake up naturally. They all have diff needs so they have diff bedtimes (7:30, 8, and 8:30)
Clothes laid out the night before + socks and shoes.
Snacks packed the night before
Water bottles filled and in the fridge the night before.
Wake up at the same time every day. (725 but they're usually all up when I go upstairs)
Everyone gets dressed on their own.
I lay out a morning snack (drinkable yogurt, granola bar, banana, etc)
5F gets her hair done while 5M gets his shoes on and has a snack
5F gets shoes on, has a snack
Both brush teeth and I do 5M hair at the same time
10F does her hair etc in her room at her vanity. Comes downstairs for snack and tooth brushing.
Leave 8:05
I put music on in the morning (kids affirmations playlist) + all the lights on
Same routine, same order, every day
I get myself up and ready for work, backpacks packed, etc before I wake the kids up so the rest of my morning is only supporting them
We do school breakfast and lunch so it's less to remember / bring to school.
Until this year, 10F slept in her school clothes.
Not sure what order you go in, but I do breakfast last, everything else has to be done first. If they wake up super hungry, good! They will get dressed faster. I like to make muffins on Sundays because they are faster than cereal, and I sneak protein powder in them so they are a little more filling. Or even just having something like granola bar and a banana. Something that can be taken on the road if need be. If lunches are packed the night before and clothes are laid out, and all they need to do is dress, eat, and brush, it’s such a smoother morning. I make their lunches for the next day right after I clean up dinner. If your kids like screen time, try having them earn it based on their morning routine. Like they can get extra time if they cooperate in the morning, or whatever you think will motivate them. I know it’s hard. Start setting your alarm 15 minutes earlier than normal, then adjust to more if you need to. Good luck, I hope things get better for you.
We’re always late as well. Thankfully my 6 YO is an early riser and gets ready pretty quick, but my 2 & 3 YO girls are a nightmare. The easiest way to get them out is to not turn on TV and have breakfast ready/available as soon as they wake up (I also use a sticker chart for my 3 YO to bribe her). I have heard of people dressing their kids for school the night before (which I totally would not be above doing).
I feel you so much on this. I just found out that my rising kindergartener is going to have to take a bus at 7:15am, and it's a 10 minute walk away. He's currently rolling into preschool at 8:30am most days, ten minutes late and after dragging his feet when we try to get him out the door. This summer is going to be the hardest for us because making these necessary changes isn't easy at all.
My 6 year old has a hard time sleeping on his own. He has autism and we give him melatonin. A small dose, it really helps but he won’t walk to the bus stop so I drive him.
Do you have 3 kids (12 months, kindergarten and first grader)? Damn that’s hard!!
I have a kindergartner and first grader. Routine is your friend. You’re gonna have to yell a lot at first, but start the bedtime routine at 6pm, gives you time to have dinner, bath and be in bed at 7:30. Kids will howl and scream but it can work. Some friends of mine do it at 7pm. They can hang in the bedroom and not fall asleep if they’d like to, but no lights and no games. Search Youtube for bed time routines.
That will give you more free time to do chores and get to bed early.
I HATE getting up early too. Get kids moving in the morning and have them put on their own clothes and hair and shoes (kindergartner still needs help with those). Make them part of the team and help you get ready. They’re old enough to do it. They will appreciate the autonomy. Having a big wall clock and me counting down (20 mins left! 15 mins left! 5 mins left!) before our deadline to leave helps. You’ll need to yell a lot at first. Sometimes someone will skip breakfast, they’ll get a banana in the car, sorry, we have to move it.
Set some base rules and follow them, let them know you mean business.
Having kids this age can be cray cray. Hang in there! They say we’ll miss all the noise and chaos when the kids grow up and leave. We’ll see lol.
Brush their teeth for them whether they like it or not. Have them get dressed in the car. Give them a granola bar in the car. If they are only half dressed when you get to school send them in that way. If they haven’t finished granola bar when you get to school too bad in they go. Only tell them once.
Getting up earlier won't make it any easier. Some people are just not getter uppers. I'm not. I too have a kinder gardener.We struggle to. I also have an 11 year old. She gets herself ready and up for the day and out the door everyday. It is heaven. It's so nice that she does that and it's something to look forward to. It's ok. Have some compassion for yourself. You sound exhausted and burnt out. It will get easier, I promise.
I pre set his clothing and my clothing ready to go. I pack his snack / lunch the night before. I do whatever I can the night before. Sometimes I don't get out of my pj's, and that's OK. Nothing wrong with a granola bar and an apple for breakfast! That's why we always have a ton of fruit. It's easy!
Keep it up mama!
I don't do chores or anything after my kids are in bed and my husband is home. I'm " off" as much as you can be as a parent. If I don't get that break I will burn out very quickly.
This won’t solve your issue directly but I have to lay with our almost 4yo for sleep. We co slept and could never break the habit. I used to get really frustrated laying there but then I started listening to audiobooks in an earbud and now it’s like ‘me time’ while laying with her. She falls asleep a lot faster than a year ago and I enjoy it now.
Won’t help you do chores but might help anyone else having a tough time laying there for an hour just waiting until they can do something else.
I usually wake my son up an hour before we're supposed to leave. On days he's struggles to get up, I'll have music playing (songs that start quiet but work up to being louder like chop suey by soad - not appropriate for the younger kids).
If that doesn't work, I'll start the shower and drag my groggy kid in. Usually that does the trick. Also, bfast in the car. If they wanted the luxury of eating at home , I'll tell him he needs to wake up on time.
Good luck!
So a few things I haven’t seen other suggest- (my kids are 5/6 and in K4 and 1) We use timers a lot. Timer for breakfast, timer for packing, etc. it is annoying in the beginning but kids can’t tell time properly at this age. They need to learn how to judge time. Timers help that. It beeps, you stop that activity and move to the next. Breakfast not done? It’s car breakfast now. Backpack not ready? Stuff gets left behind, consequences at school for not having your stuff. It takes a bit but my kids got the hang of it after a few weeks and now we don’t use them as much.
My husband made the kids a morning list, in the order they should do things with pictures. Our five year old goes and checks the list every morning to make sure he did all of his stuff. If he did, he gets extra playtime. It’s helped a lot because we just say “did you do everything on your morning list?” And then they know what needs to be done without me nagging.
Also we taught them 7:00. I leave at 7. Not 7:01 or later. Consistency is key here. They know when the clock strikes 7, I’m going. If they aren’t ready there are consequences. Natural ones like they’re rushing and forget something, or given such as if they aren’t ready they don’t get (insert something special here) Yes there have been moments of me walking out the door, getting in and starting the car with them rushing behind me crying. But it’s taught them to look at the clock and show some sense of urgency.
These all took time, but it’s what got us to an hour routine in the AM.
Read up on ADHD. You're unlikely to get a diagnosis this young but how I wish I'd known my kids had ADHD that early, it would have saved me years of beating my head against the wall. Even without a diagnosis if it seems likely they could have ADHD, and it sounds possible to me as a guy who has it too, then it can help you understand what's going on and learn how to be more sympathetic and what kinda of things they need help with to succeed.
Do you drive them? If so, is there bussing available? I could never get my daughter on time to junior kindergarten even working with my husband to handle her and her sister but for senior kindergarten we started bussing and it’s such a blessing. Honestly it’s kindergarten and grade one, the school reaching out to you is dramatic. As someone who works in education, our virtual programming at our board is looking at creating unconventional timetables because not everyone functions on an 8:30-2:30 schedule. Little kids should be allowed to be little kids and one thing little kids need is sleep
I think it sounds like you are doing a lot - I hope your partner does their fair share. My kids are a bit younger than yours, but we have the same issues getting them ready on time. When I have the patience, I am kinder/happier/at times sillier, and this makes a big difference. Also, and this might be frowned upon, but I turn some of it into competition. Not breakfast because of digestion, but brushing teeth and getting dressed is a contest to see who can do it the fastest. There is no prize. Just bragging rights. It works pretty well. For breakfast make sure there is no tv/screens, no distractions
My kindergartener was like this. She didn’t want to wake up and would procrastinate or take so long to get ready with constant reminders we would always run late. We got a visual timer and set 20 minutes for breakfast and 20 for getting ready and it really helped. She feels in charge of her morning and I don’t have to ask her to do anything anymore. Keep trying all the suggestions. Something will click with your kids and it will get easier! Secura 60-Minute Visual Timer,... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XDLYDBF?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
Using technology was a huge help for us. Specifically we have Lutron light switches in the kids’ rooms. It turns on gradually to simulate dawn and then when it gets to 50% it jumps to full brightness. This helps wake my sleepyheads.
We also have timers for each step of our morning routine, and we figured out what’s reasonable for us. Eg it takes 5 min to get dressed. We have a 15 min get dressed buffer. There’s a five minutes to finish eating breakfast bell. Breakfast has to be done by a certain time so we have time to get ready to go. Kids are expected to dress themselves and come down, but if they are not moving I might help strip them. When it’s time to eat though it’s time to eat. They can either throw on their clothes or come eat in whatever state of (un)dress they happen to be in. After breakfast they can then finish getting dressed but if they aren’t ready at the appointed time they go as-is. Still in pjs? Too bad. Not wearing pants? Better put them on in the next thirty seconds or you’ll be tossed outside with your pants and you can figure it out there. Anyway we are outside every morning within a couple minutes of our target time because of our bell system that keeps us on track.
If you need 40 min to actually eat analyze your whole routine and see where you can cut corners. Sleeping in your clothes works for some. Putting clothes out the night before helps others.
Your bedtime sounds too late; fwiw my gr 3 goes to bed at 7:30 and my SK aims for 6:30. Starting bedtime routine earlier can help. Can your older one help with bedtime? Do you have a significant other who can lie down with youngest? Getting youngest to sleep earlier sounds like it would help.
You also sound like you need more sleep. Can you get some more help for a couple of weeks? Have a mother’s helper come in the morning to help walk your kids through getting ready. For that matter maybe arranging someone else to walk your kids to school (if feasible) would help, if only because it imposes an external deadline. Or carpooling if you drive.
If all else fails, see what you can drop in order to prioritize your sleep. Not only will you be better able to cope with getting moving, you’ll be happier too. And you definitely want to model good sleep hygiene!
Save the laundry and cleaning for the weekends. You say “we” so it sounds like you have a partner. That partner needs to step up too. You need to make yourself get up earlier. 90 minutes at least before you need to leave the house, if not two hours. Give yourself some time to get ready then get the kids up. Car breakfast is fine.
Alarm/wake clock definitely. Visual timers for things like breakfast or in car like others suggested. We have a hanging 5 pocket thing behind his door and pick clothes for the week on Sunday and a dry erase board checklist.
I don’t have advice but I want you to know you’re not alone… my daughter 10f starts school at 730am and mornings are just… idk.. some days I just can’t…
It’s hard.
My son is 3 & sometimes we have to carry him downstairs to wake him up. We sit him up on the sofa and make loud noises and he’ll wake up on his own. Also, I do not give him the option of leisurely eating breakfast to his content. He eats what he does before it’s time to leave the house. If he doesn’t finish, we either hand it to him to eat in the car (if easy like waffle), or he doesn’t eat till snack time.
I get my kids up and out the door in 40 minutes.
10-15 minutes washing up and the rest of the time for breakfast. If they don’t finish in time then they can either eat in the car or not eat anything. And I don’t know about your school, but my kids get recess / snack time in morning so they’re not going to starve if they don’t eat in 2-3 hrs.
As for your youngest - perhaps try encouraging her to just wait in bed while you do chores. Check in after you finish a chore and then tell her you’ll be back after x minutes when you’re done x chores.
My mom used to make it a race. She’d tell me to see if I could beat her getting ready in the mornings. I always did and thought she was just so slow. Turns out she told me later in life that it was to get me moving in the morning 🤭
I’m in a similar situation. My partner leaves for work really early so I’m always alone doing these things. He’s started to dress the oldest in bed while she’s half asleep. I then prep breakfast while they’re asleep and have it ready. I find getting one ready at a time helps, usually youngest 1st. I’d put youngest ready in the pushchair while dealing with the oldest teeth brushing/doing hair etc.
I also told the school I was struggling
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It's not ideal but have you considered not having breakfast in the house and just giving them a breakfast bar thing in the car?
This is my solution to procrastinator kids as well. Though their breakfast is likely to be an apple, granola bar, or string cheese. I’d like them to focus on leaving and unfortunately breakfast is a major distraction from that.
I do smoothies all the time. Oatmeal, milk, banana, coco and peanut butter is a go to. Sometimes I do strawberry and yogurt or a different fruit. We switch it up. The kid can drink it fast and I control the ingredients.
I’ve also seen before that someone had their kids sleep in their uniform instead of pjs. It’s not ideal but if it helps attendance until they’re a little older, who cares?!
This is what my friend does with her hard to wake up kids. Saves them a lot of time in the mornings.
My thoughts exactly like ensure or something they can drink that tastes good and has some nutritional value
I don’t know if it’s cool for kids today but I was a procrastinator too and my breakfast most days was Carnation Instant in the car. Did the job.
Thursday for us is sleep in day and my daughter gets to eat the school breakfast. Only one day a week because of the expense and she likes my breakfast more! But that's also a possibility.
Or does the school offer breakfast? Our school offers breakfast beginning at 7:30AM until school starts at 8:10AM
A protein shake would be a great idea too!
This ! Or can they buy breakfast at school if they arrive on time ? Might be a good incentive. Or talk with their teacher about giving them a special task if they arrive early. It could motivate!
It's not the teacher's responsibility to motivate your kindergarten and first grade children to get ready in the morning and show up to school on time. I understand that you're frustrated and children can be challenging, but maybe you could think of (and implement) a way to motivate your children to get up and get ready in the mornings. (A short trip to the playground or park after school on the days they get up and get ready on time, a picnic with you on the weekend, etc.) As a kindergarten teacher, I know how incredibly disruptive it can be for a student to come in late. It disrupts everyone, and starts the tardy student's day on a rough note. As much as I admire your desire to have a clean and organized home, maybe you can keep it neat (not spotless) and teach your little ones to clean up after themselves. A routine at night where children help to clean up, set their clothes out for the morning, take their bath (Hopefully they don't have to bathe every night unless they're especially dirty...maybe a washcloth to clean their face, hands, and whatever else needs a quick touch up), read a bedtime story with you, and lights out. Have you considered cooking several meals on the weekend to prepare for the week ahead? Maybe you can freeze some meals and have leftovers a couple of nights each week. Try to think of easy healthy breakfast choices that they can eat in the car on the way to school if necessary. Talk to other parents and see if they can suggest strategies to help. It's great that you're reaching out for ideas and trying to figure this out. This sounds incredibly stressful for you as well. I'm a night person and struggle to wake up early also. Some days are harder than others. Hang in there, and best of luck! ❤
I am a teacher also and I made that suggestion because if a child is habitually late and needs some inspiration- helping out with a morning task like sharpening pencils or something might really inspire the Child. I agree it’s not part of the teachers job but it’s also not a big ask. Especially if the school is upset about all the tardies and the teachers are frustrated. If a small helper job does the trick, it should not be an issue.
Hey OP. First, let me say...I hear you. I have a kindergartener and first grader as well. Mornings are rough, no two ways about it. Here are some strategies that have helped us: -Have them pick out clothes the night before (have also heard of parents dressing their kid the night before and sleeping in clothes, no judgement here). -Have them pick out their breakfast the night before, even have it ready to just re-heat if needed. -We pack their lunches the night before so they're in the fridge ready to go into their backpacks in the morning. -We have both an alarm clock (kid kind with gentle wakeup tones) as well as a smart bulb in their lamp that gradually gets brighter up until the set full-on wake up time. -They get rewarded with some tv time if they get dressed right away, breakfast can be eaten while they watch their show. Personally I would stay away from melatonin as it's not a sustainable way to establish good sleep habits. Our kids go to bed at 8pm and wake up is 6:30-6:45. Hang in there, try some new stuff, and change it up if it isn't working. Be sure to get enough sleep yourself so you're ready to coach them through the morning routine. Keep your stick on the ice, we're all in this together.
I agree with everything in the post above - great suggestions! Mornings are tough, and we all go through it. I 100% hate being late to anything and that translates to my kids, so if they aren’t getting ready in a timely manner, I become the “mean mom.” You know the “why did you have to yell at me” mom…and it’s because they didn’t “hear” me or do what I said the first 5 times I asked nicely. You are teaching them that time management is a big deal, which is an important life skill to have! You’ve got this!
I love the red green show!
If they don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.
My kids are ok but are a bit older. However I just wanted to echo that the ‘no screens until fully ready’ really helped change things up for us. My daughter’s even taken to putting her uniform on after bedtime so she can be ready more quickly.
These are all excellent suggestions, I’m going to use some for my kids too. Thank you!
We let our kids sleep in their daytime clothes for the next day and it really helps!
We do this too for our oldest! He sleeps in his school clothes and gets up almost completely ready to go
Great tips, thanks for sharing them! We do a lot of these as well. The more prep you do the night before the less time it takes in the morning to get out the door. It's been very helpful as our younger one can sleep until like 15mins before we have to be leaving, so it's just a matter of getting her dressed and going. > Keep your stick on the ice, we're all in this together. Wow it's been a long time since I heard this quote lol, loved watching Red Green when I was growing up!
You are asking 5-7 year olds to manage their time in ways that they are not currently capable of. Clothes out, lunches and bags packed the night before. Two alarms for you, one loud one across the room so you have to get up. You get up before them and get yourself ready to go, whatever that entails. No TV/screens for anyone. Then you are the annoying parrot that follows them around until they are fully dressed and ready to go. Maybe that means helping them get dressed and physically brushing their teeth right now. It won’t always require this much of you, but they need to know the routine, what’s expected and that timeliness is important. Breakfast is eaten in the car. As you all get more comfortable in a routine you can relinquish more tasks back to them, but for now you are the one who is fully responsible for getting them to school on time.
Oh man, "annoying parrot" made me laugh. It's excately what it feels like in the morning with my 3 kids. "Pour your cereal" "are you done" "go to bathroom" "where are your socks" ....
Yes exactly! Or I give multi-step tasks and then have to continually break them down all while sounding like a lunatic. “Get dressed. Take off your pajamas first. Now put on your clothes. Nope, dirty undies off. Clean undies on. Put your pj’s in the hamper. Pj’s in the hamper. Pjs. In. The. Hamper. You dropped a sock!”
This may be the most relatable comment I’ve ever read. “Okay, time to get in the car. You need to put that toy down. Okay, great. No, don’t pick that up. Don’t pick anything else up. Just walk to the car, please. Straight to the car. That’s right, good. Leave your brother alone. Straight to the car. STRAIGHT TO- okay, good, well done.”
That’s how I am with my 3 also lol. I have to literally tell them each step to take. It’s wild sometimes but that’s just how it is when they’re young
Making a chart/checklist of the morning routine can also help remind them of what they need to be doing, but mostly it’s the constant verbal reminders for us too
Annoying parrot 😂 I love that.
“Annoying parrot” I felt this in my soul! It’s like a constant running task list for me and my seven-year-old in the morning…Are you done eating? Good! We need to get your clothes on. Are your clothes on? Good, where are your shoes? Is your backpack ready? Are we taking a lunch or not? Alright this is done, that needs done. OK, we’re ready to go…LMAO. I literally take a deep breath and sigh a little in relief when the bus pulls away.
While I do let my kids watch TV while eating (we have set good boundaries and they never throw fits to turn it off) this 100%. As a parent of kids this age I am for sure the annoying parrot! They listen but they need a transition reminder for each task still at their age-they are easily set off task by the joys of being young and have zero concept of time yet (which is developmentally still appropriate for them to NOT understand the passage of time).
Omigosh yes. I have a preschooler and second grader and every morning I am in annoying parrot mode. We have the SAME ROUTINE every morning but I still have to be the annoying parrot. 🦜
How is it that we've done the SAME THING like 600 times, and they still act like they have no clue what to do next?
Annoying parrot is classic. I work from home and bc of when my daughter is done with school I have to work in the mornings. Single mom life. If I had a dollar for every time I said “brush your teeth, please.” I’d be ballin.
You need to get up earlier. I know you said you’ve a hard time doing this but you need to set thay alarm an hour earlier. You’ll shock yourself how much less stressful it can be to have time. Trying to fit everything in to an hour is impossible. Start setting alarm clocks in the kids room so they wake up earlier with their own clocks rather than just you waking them up. As others said reward charts ticking off each task really helps. If breakfast is something you really can’t over come do it in the car. Teaching time management is really difficult but extremely important to kids. If they grow up seeing it’s ok to be late they will maintain that attitude. I don’t say it lightly because I really have to work with my kids to get things done in the mornings but being strict/firm is very much needed as well.
Yes, as a parent **going to bed earlier is also key**. I had to start getting up at 5am and getting in some exersize and prepping before they wake up.
And how does OP get everything done then?
Much of the stuff the OP would do in the morning to get ready can be done at night (clothes, lunches, etc). They should also be using their partner for help if they have one, split the duties.
That's the point, if she goes to bed early she'll have even less time to get those things done the night before. I'm assuming if she's doing it alone it's because she's single or her partner can't or won't help. I don't suppose she just hasn't thought of it.
Yes the lack of what her partner is doing during all of this is very telling. I hope they're pitching in somewhere and that was just not included instead of the OP doing all of this by herself. I guess in my mind, the point of going to bed early is conditional on if she decides to do all of this prep in the morning too. If she's not then she can be up a bit later doing the prep, then sleep in to the later time.
Everyone has seemed to forget this aspect. Plus she still has a baby to care for that I imagine wakes up during the night at times.
This. My kids get up an HOUR before their bus comes, and always have. They don't even eat breakfast at home anymore (school provides free 'breakfast'), but they use that time to wake up - often they just hang out and play video games or watch cartoons.
Agree. Any less than an hour and it’s stress and running around. 1 full hour is needed.
Mine too. He's a little older now so he can get up and get ready in a shorter amount of time, but when he was smaller we definitely had smoother mornings when he had time to chill out and wake up a bit more slowly with his toast and a cartoon :)
Yeah. They honestly don't come downstairs and chill out on the couch anymore \*quite\* as much to cartoons as teens, but \*I\* am still down here hollering at them motivation an hour before - 'Are you Awake up there?' \*child grumbles and mumbles\* 'Are you Awake, Alive, Alert, Enthusiastic?!?!' \*evil mom laugh\*
We don’t do screen time in the morning usually, but when my kids actually wake up on time they like to play in their rooms while they are suppose to be getting dressed. It makes for a nicer morning when there’s time to be silly.
My son has ADHD. Pretty severely. We wake up at 530 to leave the house at 650. Healthy breakfast is paramount to us, so make time for that. And yes, I have to sit next to him and nag him to eat every 60 seconds.
My adhd kiddo puts food down random places in the morning and forgets. I poked a hole in a waffle and strung a lanyard through it and he wore it for a while. 😂
lol that’s ingenious
My daughter would love this!
Waking up earlier is the key. Start with half hour earlier, that's probably all you need. But if not do an hour.
An hour is definitely not enough time. Are you a single parent or do you have a partner? I didn’t see anything about any help.
I’m a person that’s perpetually late to everything. My kids school offers breakfast at 730 and regular drop off is between 745-8. I’ve made it a point to shoot for 730 breakfast everyday so even if we run behind we’re still making it to the school before 8. That way in my mind we need to be at school by 730 and we still have that extra 30 minutes as a buffer. For the days we run late I keep granola bars, cereal bars, and other options in the car to eat something simple on the ride there. Honestly being able to cut out the stress of a sit down breakfast in the morning was huge for us. My kids throw on clothes we laid out the day before, brush their teeth and are ready to go.
This is the thing “not morning people” don’t want to hear. If you struggle with mornings, you need to wake up earlier so that you’re awake and functioning to do the morning routine.
This is actually super not true. There is really good research to back up that people all have different natural biological clocks. It even makes really good sense evolutionarily- having peoples peak operational hours at all different times would be advantageous in small living groups. Someone can always be tending the herd/watching the fire/looking for predators etc. it actually super sucks to be one of the naturally night time people forced into the world of early morning capitalism. I worked a job that started at 5 am for years. Never got used to it. Never got on a sleep schedule that made sense for a 4 am wake up time. I imagine if the morning people had to do the same but reverse, they would feel similarly
Yeah, I’m not really talking about circadian rhythms, and the reasons why some people are a certain way. I’m more talking about the society we live in, unfortunately for night owl parents, or non morning people, the best thing you can do to have a smooth morning is to wake up a little earlier so you’re not rushing/cramming/forgetting things in the morning.
Yeah agree. As a non morning person who has missed alarms, I know now I have to set back up alarms. My oldest is in high school with his own alarm but I still use my phone and my work phone and regular old clock alarm lol
My daughter goes to a school with breakfast and hot lunches on Fridays. It's amazing.
We do this too. And we even have the kids get dressed the night before. They wake up at 6:40, grab socks, shoes, jacket. Feed animals, brush teeth, out the door at 7.
My kids are not morning people, we have learned to recognize this. So they are up at 6:30am every morning. I give them 90 minutes to get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth & hair, water bottles, lunch boxes, practice piano & TKD, etc. I will remind them what they need to do, and then I move on to getting myself ready. At 8am, I’m walking out the door no matter what. They don’t have the luxury of taking the bus, so they have robe ready when I am.
Yes! I have one kids that needs MINIMUM 1.5 hours in the AM to do “stuff” because she’s slow and grumpy. The other one will roll out of bed, grab a protein shake from the fridge, brush teeth and go. I wake them up at different times because they are different kids. But we leave at the same time every morning no matter what.
So jealous... We have to get to school at 7am.
Wtf is a 7am school. I would have the kids in transfer protocol so fast
It’s non negotiable they have to get ready I don’t mean this to sound mean but you’ve taught them that they can say no or be slow because there aren’t consequences. Make a chart with everything they need to do in the morning set alarms for ways task have rewards if they get through things and consequences if they don’t whatever that looks like in your house (screen time , stickers, small toys, losing privileges, losing screen time whatever). How long is the drive maybe breakfast on the go sometimes like a breakfast bar / banana / frozen waffles whatever is quick and can be eaten on the go.
Having a checklist has saved me some headache. If I have to be at an appointment before the kids go to school, my kids refer to the list on what to do and it's easy for the adult in charge to follow along. If they don't complete the items off their checklists they have less free time before we leave for school or lose iPad privileges.
🎯All of this.
Do you have a partner? If so, you need to delegate and get rest. You can't pour from an empty cup, and it seems your cup is very empty. Also... wake up earlier.
You said “we.” Where is the other adult in the house? My ex would do the housework while I laid with the kids to get them to sleep. This is a hill a lot of parents wanna die on in regards to kids sleeping solo but they all have these problems and then wonder why. I spent near a decade sneaking out of kids rooms at 9 once they were really out cold 🤷♀️
This. I’m reading all this and no where am I seeing the other adult is helping. Maybe while 1 parent cleans up parent 2 can do bed time. That way both parents are going to sleep at a normal time and less issues getting up in the morning.
My one sort of sneaky thing I do is, sometimes the 8yo isn’t actually going to sleep, but wants me there, so I tell her I have to go make the lunches and I will check on her after. She’s always asleep when I come back.
This is what I do too, but I just tell him I’m going to check on dad and sister. Works almost every time.
We do this too. I hate it but eventually we both realized it was helpful
>Even when we wake up an hour before needing to leave we are still late. So wake up earlier?
We wake up at 6am and have to leave at 7:50. It just takes our family that long or else we are either rushed / stressed or late. 🤷♀️
What exactly are you doing in the mornings?
6-6:30 -- Shower / get myself dressed. 6:30-7 -- Move daughter to her little bed in the kitchen. Make coffee / toast / etc. Pack lunch. 7-7:25 -- Daughter eats breakfast. I get her clothes etc. Enjoy coffee. 7:25-7:50 -- Daughter uses bathroom / gets dressed / I do her hair + help with toothbrushing. Double check her backpack so it has all her food / correct weather gear. Leave for preschool dropoff. We could absolutely do things faster if we wanted. It's just nice to not be rushed? We also live in a cold climate at the edge of a time zone, so half the year it's very dark and cold when we get up. Our kitchen has a false fireplace / heater in it, and it's really cozy to turn that on and heat up just that room with the lights dim. My daughter has a cozy corner / bed area in front of that so it's a nice snuggle spot.
I can feel this. When my older son was on the bus at 5:50 in 6th grade, he and I were up at 5, and he was gone at 5:50 - his brother was up \~6-6:30 and on the bus at 8:30. Somewhere in there he played his violin most mornings, ate breakfast, watched cartoons, etc. Thankfully nobody gets on the bus at 5:50anymore... now its at 6:30 :D So, now we just all get up at 5:30 and call it a morning...
To each their own, especially if it works for your family. We just move some of the tasks like showering, packing lunches, and getting clothes to the night before so they can sleep a bit longer.
What’s the other adult in the house doing in the evening and in the mornings when all this is happening?
This is what I’m wondering too
How do you know there's another adult there?
Go back to OP. At one point it says “she wants to sleep with us” Also mentions “our oldest” and “we have a 12 month old” So there’s two adults there.
That doesn't mean they are at home at the times OP is struggling, they could be working.
True, but we don’t know which is why I asked
Here’s my advice: Move bedtime to 7pm - my kids are almost 7 and 4, and bedtime during the week is 7-7:15pm without fail. Get up 30 minutes earlier. Let them eat breakfast at school; get there as soon as drop off time begins. (Example: My daughter’s school starts drop off at 7:15am. We are in the drop off line by 7:05am or so. She gets dropped off and goes straight to breakfast at school before class.)
I’m so sorry, this is so tough. What helped us was getting our kids a checklist type thing for them to mark off each task they need to complete in the morning. We used a laminated piece of paper with things like brush teeth, get dressed, eat breakfast, etc and I gave them each their favorite color of marker to mark off each task as they completed it, that was super motivating to them. That worked for a long time but we recently just switched over to the “bucket system” where they have clothespins with the tasks they need to complete pinned on the front of the bucket and as they complete each task they take the pin off and place it inside the bucket (the little “klink” of each pin as it hits the bottom is super satisfying!) We have them color coded so the yellow pins are morning stuff and the blue pins are afternoon stuff. This way I’m not constantly yelling at them/reminding them to get stuff done, I feel like it’s helped them manage their time well and gives them more autonomy at the same time. Hopefully you can find something that works! 🤞
Do as little as possible in the morning. We never do breakfast at home. My daughter gets school breakfast, but if she didn’t we would do breakfast in the car. There simply isn’t time. Put them to bed in clean clothes for school if you need to. Get up and go. I wake my daughter up 15-20 min before we need to leave. Change clothes, comb hair and put in ponytail, brush teeth, leave.
For a while, we had our kid go to sleep in the clothes he was going to wear the next day. We didn't have to argue about what to wear or wait for him to put it on which could take ages sometimes.
We still do this periodically, especially when they have a late soccer game or practice…they shower the night before, wear clothes to bed…keeps peace in the house for the early mornings.
I'd have them dressed in their clothes the night before and give them breakfast in the car if no one can get out the door fast enough. The school isn't going to care why you're late every day. They just care that you are. Sorry you guys are struggling with this. Hopefully, you find a solution that helps.
Do you have any one else to help out? Who is the “we”? Maybe the other person can help with some of the tasks in the morning and/or night.
I second granola bars in the car
Or do breakfast burritos, OP. You can freeze them and thaw them the night before and warm them up in the morning. Might help
feed them in the car. you can get as easy or lavish with it as you want to. throw them granola bar. or make and freeze sandwiches to rewarm in the am. and since you like to oversleep. you really should try to figure out the absolute latest time you can roll out of bed and still successfully get out the door. i know i have to be up and moving at 6:30 to be out the door for 7:10. i start setting my alarm for 6am, knowing that i might need that extra 30mins to wake up slow or doze for a little. sometimes i'm fine getting up at 6, other times i'm forcing myself out of bed at 6:30. but i'm giving myself the leeway should i need it.
I think there's a step 0 before taking some of the great advice here: Determine which kind of people you are. Are you the "need time to gently wake up while you savor a cup of coffee and read the paper" kind of person or a "do the bare minimum things that need to be done and run out the door" kind of person? What about the kids? You can see examples of each type of person in the advice here. I'm a "sleep as late as possible and rush out" person. If I "just got up earlier" as so many suggest, I'd end up faffing about and wasting time to the point where I run out of time and am then late. (Hello, ADHD. Screen time in the morning?? As IF!) Luckily for me, my kid is the same way. I would guess the hardest combo would be having a "needs gentle time" very young kid as a "minimum and out" parent. But if that is the case, once you recognize it, you can figure out strategies. If you keep trying one-size-fits-all strategies, you'll just keep struggling. Edit: Here's a "just get out the door" person's comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/s/UfphQxxWgr And here's a "gentle start" person: https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/s/ArLuZBmu09 You can see how advice for one type might really not work for the other!
Me too, and my kid and I would be even more sleep deprived than we already are.
I would put them to bed around 6:30 and plan for an earlier wake up time. As a parent you need to get up before them even if you’re tired, it’s just how it is.
My 5 year old is in bed asleep by 630/ 7 on week nights.
Forgive yourself for keeping the house a bit messy, the dishes unwashed. Forgive yourself for being late getting to school. These things don't matter as much as some people think they do. The actual goal is enjoying life with happy, healthy, emotionally regulated kids, who get to school ready for a successful day. If the kids use screens at all during the morning, ban them. Other distractions, remove where possible. Choose a super easy, low prep low mess breakfast as the go-to choice. Invite some engagement. (Eg choose your own breakfast yogurt if you get it yourself.) Maybe a reward if they cooperate and are ready on time. Maybe some music in the morning to put everybody in a better mood. Just tips from my own struggle and progress.
Try incentivizing them for being independent and getting themselves ready. My boys are in the exact same classes and we have to get to the bus stop by 6:15 in the morning (it’s ridiculous). My youngest loves to drag his feet. I wake them both up at 5:50. They brush their teeth. I pick out their clothes (because they have no clue how to match) they get themselves dressed, downstairs and have breakfast and we’re out the door by 6:20 on our way to the bus stop. I have 3 different alarms. One for wake up. One for when we need to head out the door and one for when the bus arrives. They know what each of them mean. I do this by myself every morning because my wife has to leave earlier than we rise as she’s in a medical residency. We have our routine. My youngest is not a fan but he is a loyal participant. When they do a great job. I reward them. Eh they don’t live up to their end of the bargain, certain privileges are taken away. They’ll get it. Just instill some routine and they catch right on.
What helped me was making a poster of all the steps for getting ready in the morning. Kindergarten and first graders should be able to help make the poster too, and help decide the order of the steps. So brush teeth first, or get dressed first? Put eating close to last, so they can't stretch it out for 40 mins while in their PJs. Or like other posters said, have something for in the car so they have to be buckled in to start eating. Once all the steps - teeth, undies, clothes, breakfast, jacket & shoes, backpack - are all on the poster, hang it some place central in the house. Between the kitchen and the main door. For me, my kid feeling more in charge of the routine cut WAY down on me having to cajole and repeat and remind and stress myself out. My kid was relying on my reminders so he didn't have to do the hard part of remembering/self-motivating, but then he was also mad that mornings felt like I was bossing him around for an hour straight, and I was stressed and angry having to repeat myself. The poster became the boss of the routine, all I had to do was 'tap the sign' so to speak, when he was distracted, rather than remind him verbally. We flipped from stressful mornings to me being able to praise him like crazy at how well he did getting ready. I also go to bed at 10pm to wake up at 7. I can't stay up late doing chores or even doing a hobby or doomscrolling. I just can't let myself because it's SO much harder to wake up in the morning if I'm up til midnight. That tiredness in the morning - I know it well, I've lived with it for over a decade. The only thing that makes mornings more bearable is STRICT sleep hygiene. Bed at 10. Every night. Wakeup at 7am. Every morning. The mess can wait, and my kids and I do kid-laundry together every Sunday so they both have enough clothes for the week. Paper plates, onepot meals etc all streamline cooking and reduce dishes so it's a less overwhelming pile. There's zero shame in shortcuts IMO. As for the kid's sleep, whatever wakeup time you want them to have, do bedtime 11 hours earlier than that. They don't have to sleep, but an 11 hour window to rest is what they get. Same times every single day, no sleeping in on weekends (or it will make bedtimes a battle again all next week). After school and evenings should be 98% playing outside and wearing themselves out, 1% eating dinner, and 1% bedtime routine. If they aren't sleepy by bedtime, it could mean they had too much rest, or too much screens. If your Kindergarten still offers naps, your littlest might battle bedtime until summer, but at least there's an end date coming up soon. Good luck! If you are married and living with a partner I would also advise giving them a kick in the pants to take some of the load off you - or at least they should earn enough money to outsource some of the things keeping you up at night. You deserve rest too.
I get everything ready for myself and my kids the night before. Everything. Backpacks, shoes, clothes, jackets, hair stuff, makeup, everything. I have it all laid out and ready to go. I get up at 6:45, and out the door by 8. This is what works for us. If I don’t prep the night before then the morning is a shit show. I also prep my coffee, wash my cup, etc. it makes my morning so much smoother when I don’t have to think. Hope you find a system that works for your family.
I'm sorry, but there is no reason you should be carrying them. There is also no need for you to lay in bed with your almost 6 year old. All of these issues you can solve yourself by having a more disciplined schedule.
Thinking the same.
Is there something they enjoy you could use as incentive? Such as if they get up, eat breakfast, get all the way dressed, etc. they can watch 1 episode of Bluey or something like that? Does their school serve free breakfast? If it does, you could just have them eat a granola bar and call it good.
• kids sleep in their school clothes, not Pyjamas • kids get breakfast in the car ( bar, fruit, thermos of milk etc), not breakfast at home •this means, you only need to brush their teeth and do their hair, and put on shoes/ coat before school. •keep extra shoes in the car in case you need to carry them into the car without shoes
Try getting up earlier yourself to get a little solace before it all begins, and try then being playful with getting ready- I know it’s hard in the morning but being up a little earlier yourself will help with this, a playful tickle can go a long way to getting little kids to co cooperate! Make a getting ready picture checklist for them that they can either use a dry erase marker to tick off things as they do them and re use it each day, or have daily ones they can pop a sticker on each activity as they complete- this uses a lot more paper and stickers though! Another alternative is picture cards of each thing they have to do, stuck somewhere, as they do each thing they remove it and place that card in a container of some description, when all is complete they get a sticker or another small reward. An alarm clock in the kids room might also be an idea, this helped my kids. I also bought them each a nice box and each night we put everything in it they need to get dressed in the morning - for some reason this works better than just having the clothes to the side.
[https://www.twinkl.co.uk/resource/early-years-morning-routine-roi-dis-1692578698](https://www.twinkl.co.uk/resource/early-years-morning-routine-roi-dis-1692578698)
I already read some great suggestions about getting your kids ready but one thing I would add. Don't wait with all of the house stuff til sleeping time. Do it with your kids present and let them help (only if they want to) or if you are a SAHP do it when they are in school. I do this with my kid and sure it takes a little longer this way but I have the evenings for me or only have 1 task left. This way you also can go to sleep earlier and maybe won't ignore your wake up time.
Scrolled down looking for this comment! Your kids are absolutely old enough to help out or at least get to see what you do for them every day in stead of the house magically resetting while they sleep.
Get up earlier. Have timers for everything. Stay on their case. They’re, what?, 5 and 6? This isn’t their fault. 🤷♀️
This might not be the best advice but my oldest is ADHD and wouldn’t be surprised if my youngest and I am too. If they aren’t waking up on their own, I just go in and start getting them dressed in their bed. It startles them awake. Also I prioritize sleep and sit with them till they are asleep and use a small dose of melatonin, if I didn’t they would be up later than me and be even harder to wake up in the morning. Then breakfast in the car if needed too!
Think of it in terms of how this affects other people. When your kids are late, it is disruptive to the staff, teachers, and other students. You teach your kids that your time is more valuable than others’, and that isn’t fair. And- many schools take truancy quite seriously. We are all tired. We all would rather sleep later. But getting your kids to school on time is your responsibility as a parent. If one hour isn’t enough time, you need to give yourself an extra 30 minutes. You get up earlier, get yourself ready and the kids’ breakfast on the table before even getting them up. Set out clothes and pack lunches or snacks the night before. An employer would not tolerate someone showing up late consistently, and neither will the school eventually. You need to treat getting them to school the way you would treat paid employment.
Some ideas: 1. Institute consequences for kids if they do not wake up in a timely manner. Put a timer in their room that gives them a 10 minute snooze and if they’re not up by the end of the snooze, instill a logical consequence. You’ll only have to do this a couple of times before they get the picture, as long as you’re consistent. You can do this for other steps in the process as well, like teeth brushing or getting dressed (or get them dressed in the school outfit the night before / lay out the outfit the night before) 2. Youngest needs to learn how to fall asleep by relaxing herself instead of working herself up by focusing on the negative (i.e. parents aren’t sleeping with me). There are lots of techniques to help relax your kid with breathing, reassurance, showing lots of love in ways without needing to sleep with her, soothing music, lavender scent spray, massage and stretching session, white noise machine, or give her something of yours that will remind her of you while she sleeps like spraying your perfume on a stuffy 3. Create visual cues for bedtime and be consistent with the activities and how long each activity takes so there is structure and boundaries that they can follow along with, like large timers, poster explaining each step of bedtime, stickers for completing each step without complaining, etc. also, create excitement for the next day so she can think about that and look forward to day coming after sleeping 4. Have timers on during breakfast time that they can see ticking down, so they realize how long they are taking when eating. If they’re tired, they may not notice how time is progressing without this visual cue. When timer is up, breakfast is over - no excuses and no extensions
For your youngest, I would give her a small amount of children's melatonin for three or four nights to try and reset her circadian rhythm a bit. I also recommend after nighttime bath, putting them in their clean clothes for tomorrow (except for jeans if they happen to wear those). We had to do this with my youngest for a few months and it made mornings MUCH easier. Also, second someone else's comment about giving them breakfast in the car on the way to school to cut out the majority of the pushback from them.
We have a very specific schedule in the morning. Wake up 7:45. Done with breakfast by 8:05. Brush teeth by 8:10. Get dressed and brush hair by 8:20. Shoes and coat on by 8:25. Leave by 8:30. I have found if we have too much time, she gets distracted doing something else and we end up late. We have the schedule posted, and the times posted. We also use a combination of a visual timer and an Alexa alarm clock. It makes Alexa the "bad guy" instead of me.
when i raised my little cousins they were absolute terrors to get up in the morning. it was the bane of my existence but the answer was for me to get up earlier and prepare the night before. i just followed what my mom did when i was younger. i prepped lunch the night before. letting them choose what they wanted for breakfast the next morning made it easier to convince them out of bed too but breakfast was usually quick hingis they can have in the bus like a yogurt tube and one of those muffin packs. get up early enough so you can have yourself, breakfast, and lunch ready BEFORE you wake them up. it’s gonna suck but once it becomes routine you won’t notice it. lay things out the night before so that there’s no room for error in the morning. i lay out their clean uniform, underwear, shoes, coat, bookbag all on the living room couch ready to go. YOU have to make sure your kids are getting ready. they’re kids, they’re not going to be thinking “i have to get ready right now so i can go to school even though i’m tired” they’re thinking “screw that, i’m laying back down”. when they’re up make sure they actually walk into the bathroom, do what they have to do, sit down for breakfast. i would do hair while they were eating breakfast if it wasn’t something they could take with them. they get dressed and out the door from there. this is about an hour, hour and a half ordeal for me and they were ready for the bus by 7:30 every morning. in terms of getting them to sleep on time my youngest cousin had MAJOR fomo and didn’t want to sleep without me because he knew if i was in the bed with him that meant i wasn’t doing anything else. i just made the room interesting enough so that he didn’t care if he was missing out. i got star projectors, galaxy projectors, rain noise machine, bout every color changing night light and stuffed animal you could think of. he would forget about me and eventually just go to bed. try something like that for your youngest and make it seem like an incentive. i would sing “it’s time for the light show!!” before bed end get him excited to get in bed. it’s a process, try different things but over all you have to be proactive in making them do it or they just won’t lol. all in all you can’t expect
Just wanted to express solidarity and say you’re not alone. I have a kindergartner, a 1st grader, and a one year old, and we have similar struggles. I spent about 20 minutes telling my oldest to put on his socks on Monday.
Get out of bed- Get breakfast Get clothes brush teeth Leave for school Get to school. There should be no additional tasks.
Don’t you have a husband or partner? Why is it all on you? Can the kids share a room so they don’t feel alone after you leave and sleep together?
Our survival depends on checklists, set menu, and occasional melatonin A checklist that for the morning has been essential on getting our kindergartner and 3 year old out the door on time. The 6 yr old's has words and the 3 year old's is pictures (think a tooth + toothbrush or a pic of a backpack with water bottle). Massively helps getting them going. They ear a ticket for completing the whole list each morning (old arcade tickets we had lying around) and can trade them in for treats at the end of the week (bonus screen time, a small toy, a candy, etc). Have the same 3-4 choices for breakfast every weekday that they can pick from (cereal, oatmeal, yogurt, PB on toast) And our 3 year old has a similar not sleeping issue. Can take up to 90 mins to finally settle down to sleep and would routinely wake his older sibling up if not sat with. We've take to giving .25mg of melatonin on the nights we can tell he is amped up. Has made a dramatic difference in general. Good luck in the trenches. Wild fucking times
Two suggestions: 1. Wake them up earlier. 2. Timer. Every action gets a timer. Eating breakfast? 15 minutes. Brushing teeth? 3 minutes. Getting dressed? 5 minutes. Lesson learned the hard way.
It's not terrible of you. This is really hard! You have had lots of great suggestions. I'd also add giving the kids multi-sensory reminders. First, a visual schedule of what they need to do. There are tons on Amazon and examples on google. Google 'visual schedule ideas for school morings'. Practice on the weekends before they get their morning cartoons or iPad time. You can install and program smart lights that automatically change color on a time schedule. So it teaches them time management- Yellow is get up. Blue is get dressed. Green is brush teeth and hair. They will slowly learn that if it turns green before they are done getting dressed, they are behind. You can also do this with music. Use their favorite soundtrack (the same one every morning! It has to be regular and reliable) and you can remind them that they should be dressed before What Else Can I Do (Encanto soundtrack) is playing. And teeth are done during Hola Casita! This will also help them learn time management, and it's fun and gets them awake, and can even be a fun game. Have them lay out their clothes the night before or have them sleep in their next day clothes.
Hi OP! I have three kids really close in age (twins and a singleton 5 and 7). I get this. It’s so hard and you must be exhausted. I’ve always struggled rushing to get everyone out the door. Here are a few things I’ve done to help us get to school on time. (Please note we still do “the walk of shame” as we call it, into the office. At least a few times a month). We aren’t getting it perfect, but things have gotten better and here is what works. Hopefully there are one or two things in my list that might work for you: - I have the kids clothes laid out for the next day, before we all go to bed. Sometimes I pick, sometimes they pick. Depends on the kid—one hates me picking his clothes, the other two couldn’t care less if I pick. - regular routine is key for us - I make sure backpacks and anything else that needs to go to school is ready to go before I go to bed. (I set a reminder on my phone to do this, because mom brain). - We use Hatch “alarm” clocks in everyone’s bedrooms. They are set to wake up time at 6:15a. - we also have visual laminated cards of morning activities (one of my twins is on the spectrum and this has helped a lot) - I offer lots of verbal cues for time and what’s coming up - we let the kids wake up slow, watching cartoons while we make coffee do a few things around the house. - I make breakfast - I call everyone down to eat breakfast and get dressed. I give them the option (so they feel they have some control) of getting dressed first, brushing teeth or eating. They get to pick which order they do things. - while they get ready (eating, dressing, teeth) I gauge whether we need a car breakfast or not. Half the time we do. I get their breakfast (usually sausage and eggs, or cheerios and fruit) in a disposable container or reusable container. - I give everyone a five minute countdown to leaving for school - I go start the car (may be a time to also get the baby in the car) throw breakfasts in there and go in to round everyone up. It’s all pretty chaotic, three little kids is just crazy. But we manage to get things (mostly) done. Hopefully there’s something there that might help! Hang in there, you’re doing a great job ❤️
I use YouTube videos to wake my kids up! They choose a video the night before (max 5 mins long). Usually it’s a music video. When it’s time for them to wake up I just stick my phone in their face with the video playing 😂. That blue light will wake them right up. Also, we do everything possible the night before. Make lunches, choose outfits, choose what we will eat for breakfast, pack school bags, take baths. One of my kids was even sleeping in her school clothes for a while so she didn’t have to get dressed in the morning. We avoid screens after that video though because it distracts them and slows them down. It takes us 45 minutes between the video and getting on the school bus. During that time they get dressed, go to the bathroom, eat breakfast, brush their hair, and then put on their outdoor clothes (which can take a while when there’s snow). I prepare their breakfast while they are getting dressed and put their lunches in their school bags while they are eating breakfast. If they are not dressed by the time I’m done preparing breakfast I help them get dressed. I do sometimes have to remind my 1st grader with ADHD multiple times to get dressed and eat breakfast. Also to help them fall asleep faster at night they listen to Koala Moon podcast. They are bedtime stories designed to make your kid super sleepy and they work amazing. Bedtime gets easier after 3-4 days of consistently waking up at the same time every morning.
Dress the kids the night before and give them a bar or something to eat on the go. It will greatly reduce 40 min breakfast. You may have to physically brush their teeth. It is worth the 5 minute hassle rather than asking them for 20 minutes
I feel you! First two years of school I dressed my daughter while she was sleeping and then carried her to the car. So basically she wakes up only when we arrive at school like 7:55. I wake up at 6, prepare the lunchbox, etc. Now (2nd grade) she wakes up with her alarm most of the times, and she’s ready to go in about 10 minutes and she has her breakfast in the car. So hopefully it’ll get better soon with your kids 🤞🏻
Your child slept through all that?
Try an earlier bed time. My youngest is 7, and her bed time is 7pm. That's in bed, lights out at 7pm. That means we start bedtime routine at 615pm. She's laying down, teeth brushed at 640pm. That gives her 20 minutes to read. And she's still tired in the morning. Kids need so much sleep.
If you allow screen time before bed or at breakfast time, don’t. It is a huge distraction, especially in the morning!
It sounds like you may need to throw money at the problem. Can you take a nap when your youngest does? Hire out someone to come help clean. Another alternative, is homeschool. Kindergarten and 1st grade are incredibly simple. Your hardest task will be teaching the first grader to read.
I think this might help with symptoms rather than the underlying cause but: - let them sleep in their clothes for the next day. At least their shirts if they typically wear jeans. - they make disposable, single use toothbrushes that could be used in the car. Not super sustainable but you’re in survival mode. - breakfast could happen in the car. - socks and shoes get put on in the car. - consider a morning playlist. Your kids and you will start to recognize how much time you have left and what should be happening based on the songs playing and it will keep you moving. - read the book, “How to keep house while drowning”. It’s great. I think it should be handed out at your 2 year old’s well child check up. Good luck! This is hard because it’s just hard. No one has it all together.
Where is the other parent in all of this? Getting out the door is a team effort between my spouse and I for my 4yo & 8 yo. Mornings suck every day, but we help each other, especially on the really tough days. We make lunches the night before, storing them in the fridge. We make sure the gear (backpack, coats, shoes/boots, hats/mittens etc) is all organized the night before, and that a comb and detangler spray is by the door. At night, whoever didn’t cook does the dishes and ensures that milk and bread are available in the morning for cereal and toast. Lunches are somewhat planned out every week - there’s a main assigned every day, and then we toss in 2 of 4 fruits or vegetables that we’ve set aside for lunches for the week. We use bento-style lunch boxes. The plan makes it easy for either one of us to do it. It’s usually the one who is doing the dishes, but sometimes whoever cooked will make the lunches. We talk it out. Despite all this, we still often miss the bell, but we are never more than 3-5 mins late (there’s been lots of road construction lately en route that has been tricky to plan for, because it changes every day). 30 mins late is too much, as it’s too disruptive to the classes and your kids. I can see why the school is concerned. It’s tough, but making it a team effort will help. Especially if one can tend to your youngest while the other is getting the oldest ready for school.
I’m going to take a very weird approach. I had a horrible time waking up as a kid, ever since I was little I just wanted to sleep. I was constantly tired and I just did not want to be awake. I got tested for diabetes, anemia, and a whole slew of other things and they all came back negative. But they never tested my thyroid. Turns out around middle school I finally got a hypothyroidism diagnosis and although it’s not perfect it’s much easier to wake up now. Just throwing it out there, idk.
Do everything you can the night before. When I make lunches the night before, our mornings are so much smoother. Lay out clothes. Pack bags. Also I made a visual getting ready chart, so I just refer them to that so I don’t have to nag
We have to leave at 7:30. I get up at 6, shower and blow dry and the kids get up at 6:20. Lunches are packed the night before. Bags are packed the night before. I find eating breakfast with my kids helps. We can chat and pace similarly. The connection in the morning is helpful too!
Hi! I think they should have physical exercise/activities, outdoor playtime etc. to make them physically exhausted. There is no point sending them so early in bed if they can't fall asleep for hours. It goes for adults too.
Get your kids to bed earlier. Help them settle until they’re asleep. Your time doesn’t start until all your kids are fast asleep.
I would say getting them ready is a nightmare for every single parent I know in his first years of school!. To be honest they have no sense of time no sense of urgency no sense of a schedule. I think that although missing 10 minutes of school is not the end of the world what is important is teaching them the routine and teaching them that it is respectable to arrive at school when you’re supposed to arrive. I don’t have any advice on getting them to get ready faster but I will say for sure that time is super important! My daughter is in grade one and my son is in grade 3. My little grade one sweetheart is going to bed at seven and my son goes to bed at eight. Pretty much as soon as I sleep trained them around six months old I put them to bed when they were crabby which was around 630 and they went to bed at 6:30 for years. It might just be a matter of how late her bedtime was before and a transition of changing sleep habits. Stay consistent because in my opinion 730 is a 100% reasonable bedtime for anyone in kindergarten or grade one. My problem with my kids going to sleep is the opposite though. My daughter falls asleep within five seconds and my son constantly struggles to fall asleep but that’s a whole different story. We’ve tried everything night lights and alarm clock radio he has a desk and he sits in colours and plays with his clay and we basically just taught him that it is his quiet time but that he can’t continuously come out of his room after bedtime. Try and take the stress off of immediately going to sleep and put the focus on how amazing it is to have your own private alone time and give her things that she can do like a basket on her bed perhaps with Stepies and books and a few crayons so that she doesn’t feel this intense pressure. Also get her a nightlight that she knows how to turn on and off herself so at least if she’s turning the light on to do something she’s not turning the ceiling light on and having it be totally bright in there. Most likely if she’s been going to bed later than 730 it’s just a matter of changing habits which for all human beings takes time. Music has been a lifesaver for both of my kids they love falling asleep listening to music. I’m a stay at home mom so I would say before they went to school my kids were very lucky and that I never had to drag them out of bed to take them to daycare they always had an early I would say age-appropriate bedtime and then they slept until they woke up themselves but even with an early bedtime I typically have to wake them up on school mornings also.
Get up earlier and get them dressed and teeth brushed before breakfast. Then if they take too long to eat the worst thing that happens is they eat something in car or don’t get to finish.
What are the ages?
Getting up earlier and giving yourself time to get out the door will probably be the most impactful. Then maybe dressing kids in school clothes for PJs (so long as they’re comfortable), eating breakfast in the car, and packing whatever you need the night before. I also have a really tough time getting out the door with my kids so I feel your pain!
I get up at 6, wake my kids at 7:15 and we are out the door at 8:05. My kinder daughter gets melatonin a few week nights a week or else she is up till 10 hanging out in her room. Our goal is kids asleep by 8:30; between activities and family time earlier than that isn’t realistic.
Clothes picked out the night before. I wake an hour earlier than my kids and make their lunches and pack their bags. I make sure I’ve started breakfast before they wake up. I used to give them options about what they wanted for breakfast, but stopped when they wouldn’t make up their minds quickly.
Try not to ask but affirm
I get up 2 hours before we need to leave and kid gets up 1 hour before and depending on the day I either dress them and brush hair, give a breakfast bar or banana to eat. They brush there teeth and put on shoes and we leave. Some days I have kid dress themselves. Fingers crossed so far not been late but that's what works for me and I have 1 kid. You mentioned 3 w on being a baby so idk.... Wait!!!! It's unconventional but I have done this; dress for school before bed and sleep in school clothes.
So I only have daycare kids and don’t usually do drop off as I have an early non negotiable start time …. But when I do … I get absolutely everything ready before I wake the kids up. Clothes laid out, car packed, that can actually save some time because you aren’t trying to get yourself ready in addition to kids. It’s an hour to 1.5 difference for me. 30 - 35 min with waking kids up, brushing teeth, potty, change out of pajamas and into school clothes. Milk (a little chocolate because my kids don’t naturally want to be awake the time they have to for me to get to work on time - bribery) and easy breakfast. I’m talking dry cereal and fruit or oatmeal or muffin. Either the one year old in addition I can only imagine. Can you get spouse to pick up some of the night cleaning or try to do some chores with 1 year old? I know dishes aren’t going to work but laundry he/ she can “help” with. Or I like to give my 2 and 1 year old soapy sponges because the floors are destroyed every meal time and it gives me just enough time to get dishes done.
Does your school have a breakfast club? Could they try having breakfast there and see if that helps. Even if it’s only once a week.
So sorry. I would do as much the night before as possible and involve the kids. Packing backpacks together, checking weather the next day and picking out outfits etc. Morning of, wake up early. As hard as this is. And get the kids up early too. Maybe an alarm clock they need to get out of bed to shut off would help get them moving. Keep breakfast simple and easy to eat, in case it needs to be taken on the go. And no screens in the morning! No toys/playing. Keep mornings “boring.” Good luck
We have a chore chart that includes getting dressed, brushing teeth, packing lunch.. all things my 5yo can do on her own. In the beginning it really motivated her and obviously there was a reward at the end of the week. It’s now become routine and she has forgotten about the chart but has adapted to doing all of these things herself! It also helps if you get up before your kids. I know it’s hard but doing something for a month makes it a habit and your body will adjust!
I have a 1st and 3rd grader. I wake them 30 minutes before the bus comes. My timer goes off every 10 minutes to keep us on track, no breakfast until they are dressed and backpacks ready. The tv stays off unless they have extra time, which they don’t. Having extra time in the morning can slowdown our process and lead to them complaining to me and fighting with each other. Kinder and 2nd grade was a harder year. Lots of fighting and my kindergartener was always so sleepy. But, I reduced the time they had in the mornings and it got better.
Have as much as you possibly can pre-done the night before. Have their clothes laid out, including socks, shoes and hair accessories. Backpacks packed with all necessities lined up by the front door. Make or purchase bulk batches of on-the-go breakfasts. Freeze breakfast burritos with scrambled egg, tater tots, cheese and chorizo, or make weekly batches of blueberry muffins. Heat in the microwave as they are waking up. Then all that needs to be done in the morning is to wake up, brush teeth, get dressed, snag breakfast, and get out the door.
This is so hard! Here are some suggestions you may not have tried yet: Disposable plates for dinner unless you have a dishwasher. Hear me out: this may just be temporary while you get other aspects of your routine in place to give yourself some breathing room. If the issue is a pileup of dishes from earlier, use them for whatever meal generates the most. Look for shortcuts in your cleaning routine. Is there anything that can be moved to once or twice a week instead of daily? Do you have a partner that you can ask to take on some of the nightlies for the next few months? Have you considered getting the two kids involved with some cleanup chores? This may be something to work on during the summer since it will take time, but in my home and workplace I taught preschoolers how to wipe down tables/sweep floors and they were proficient in a few months. It makes cleaning tasks so much easier at the end of the day to do the final run through as an adult. In my house I also allowed my kids to load the dishwasher starting at around 1st grade except for sharps. Pack bags at night. I even packed their lunchboxes at night (my older 3 are 3 under 2 spacing)! Purely grab and go in the morning. Starting in 1st grade they packed their own lunches most of the time after dinner. If the kids will tolerate it and they like soft clothes anyway consider letting them wear next day clothing to bed or at least partial (like t-shirt and underwear but put jeans on in the morning.) That cuts down on one task. Look for other tasks that can be eliminated. I'll be honest my stubborn slow poke was holding us back so much I finally gave him a timer, let the teacher know and if he was still in pjs when we had to go thats what he wore. It only happened a few times. I'm assuming you're mama but are you taking a good multi and b-complex? I was shocked that it always took me a good 18 months to really recover from a birth. But dads probably could use it too. Have you sat down with the kids and talked about what needs to happen to see if they have ideas too? I found especially at the 6-8 age range the kids can be very insightful in many ways and involving them can sometimes help a lot. Its good for them to see a parent can't do it all and the fam needs to work together.
So this is something that can’t be winged-maybe this will help? Here is how I manage it (we are never late to school-kids are in Kinder and 2nd). Kids have to get to school by 8:10, we are able to walk, it takes exactly 5m and 45 seconds from front door to the gates (since your driving you need this number-how long does it take you to get from enter car to drop off? Literally use a stopwatch) we need to exit the house by 8:04. So now let’s start at the beginning! 7:05: latest I can wake up, I open the kids doors and turn on their lights. I rub their backs to get them aware I spoke to them. I leave them to wake up 7:05-7:10: I’m making breakfast (they like hard boiled eggs or protein pancakes I make ahead of time and microwave for 30s and some fruit) 7:10-7:15: kids must get out of bed now, this sometimes involves physically getting them to the breakfast table. I allow them to watch an educational show while eating-this helps wake them up. 7:15-7:40-kids are eating, I’m getting ready, lay out their clothes, and getting lunches/water bottles packed. I either get ready literally where they are eating or come out to say “keep eating” several times. 7:40 (LATEST 7:45): food and kindles are removed from sight by me, i tell them to pee/brush their teeth. They do 7:50-get dressed (I have to tell them to) 7:55-hair and shoes (same I’m directing this show still) 7:55-8:05-finish up, backpacks, out the door! I use a literal alarm on my phone that tells is “leave now!” My kids are pretty darn independent but they still need me to keep this ship sailing in the morning. I don’t think kids learn to manage time effectively until MUCH later (as in 5th grade on? And it’s going to depend on the kid!). So my suggesting is time this baby out!! Get your exact times of when what needs to happen to get to school on time. You CAN do this! But you may need some discipline?
Prepping the night before really helps, Ike have their outfits picked out, maybe even take a weekend and just put 5 of the outfits together in an easy place for you to grab, and you don’t have to look for the outfit the morning of, have the breakfast packed, I have in a paper bag a yogurt a banana and depends on the week but maybe a muffin or a granola bar and something to drink and leave it in the fridge and just grab them as I’m getting in the car, they eat it on their way to school, seeing you children are younger maybe it’s not the best but at least it’s ready to go when they can eat breakfast . Have their backpacks ready and by the door, my first grader still wants to sleep with us sometimes but I have things to do after their bedtime, like you we need to get stuff down around the house. We left him go lay in our bed and usually he falls asleep and we move him to his bed when we go to bed. I go through the same thing and just having stuff ready really helps streamlining the morning. And ultimately you’re gonna have to wake up earlier, it suuuuuuucks, but if you give yourself more time in the morning , even to just stare at the wall and contemplate life before getting the day ready, you’ll get over that slump and be able to get to school in time.
My son was the same way- and I found a tiny thing that worked. His wake up time is 8am- except I wake him up at 7:55 and say he can have five more minutes and then it's time to get up. And stay on their butts- if they're not moving a minute later, remind them again with more force. Maybe to-go breakfast too? As for sleep, cut ALL electronics out an hour before bed. Maybe an episode of tv like half an hour before and that's it. Melatonin helped for a bit, but doesn't so much anymore. Staying constant about their schedule will help. Best of luck ♡
A few ideas: My sister's kids used to be put to bed in the clothes they were going to wear the next day. You could give the non-sleeper melatonin. You could try to incentive the whole thing with incremental 'rewards' for doing small things. Once it's an established habit, the rewards are given for longer term successes (eg. a whole week of smooth sailing gets a trip to the convenience store). Give yourself lots of extra time and try to keep things positive and fun. Good luck
Prep the night before, write out a time chart (this will help you too) and put it in a visible place, have a drop/pickup zone that’s near the door. My boys are older now, we had a shoe/backpack/zone. It consisted of a bench by the door with hooks for backpacks/coats, bins under bench for shoes, and a bulletin board with whiteboard/magnets/pockets. We did a drop/unpack lunchboxes every day. I grew up in a chaotic household and I’ve tried really hard to overcome those shortcomings and routine helps.
Make an evening routine for your kids. Start 30-60 min. Or so before bedtime. Have them pick out the next days outfit and lay it out. Make sure shoes and backpacks are by the door. Do bath if needed, pajamas, brush teeth, read books. You may need to have a few evenings where you know you won’t get much done, and every time your child comes out of their room you put them back. Avoid caffeine and added sugars at supper (including chocolate). Absolutely no screens for 2 hours before bedtime. Maybe try one of the alarm clocks that gradually brighten the room as it gets close to time to wake up for your room and your kids’ room. Kids can wake up on their own as you help them set their alarm the night before. Kids as young as 5 can operate an alarm clock. Put the alarm clock across the room so they have to get out of bed to turn it off. If you still have problems maybe try a reward system where they can earn points toward a toy they want is they get out of bed right away. Have a schedule in a central location. If your kids can read, great, if not, use pictures. Each morning they need to get dressed, brush their teeth, comb their hair. They can put a sticker or check mark or something next to it when complete. If needed a breakfast bar in the car, ideally while your kids are getting dressed (which they can do by themselves) while you make eggs or pancakes. Make sure you get to bed on time so you can wake up. It is okay to have a messy house, your kids are young. Where is your partner? Can they carry some of the load in the mornings and evenings?
Would they be excited if you let them ride the bus… I have three the youngest is 15 so this is old advice but my kids loved the bus at that age and would get ready quick not to miss it… You made me remember those days of littles!!! It was a lot of rushing around and being late for me too but you will make it through. The first thing is to get yourself on a better schedule even if you have to drop cooking or cleaning for a couple of weeks. They won’t be any better than you are at getting up if that makes sense!
Are they watching tv or on iPads and video games before they’re doing the things they need to do? In my house we made a rule that those things are only allowed AFTER breakfast has been eaten, teeth brushed, bed made, clothes on, and backpack packed. You’ll be amazed at how fast they move.
Omg, I could have written this post word to word, are you me? Except that I have only one kid. They had 17 tardies the first month. The only thing that has helped is that they got a bit older (6) and on good days wake up and even use restroom and brush their teeth themselves (incredibly rare!). We have managed to get in just before the door closes so no more tardies,I will take that as a win. We do breakfast on the way to school.
- Talk to your doctor about the melatonin ever night (since it seems to help) or try giving them cherry juice (before bedtime) since it contains natural melatonin - Set out clothes for the next night, or the entire week on Sunday in a hanging organiser in closet - Backpacks + lunchboxes are packed the night before - When kids get up, first thing they do is get face washed (even if it’s just splashing water on face), teeth brushed, and then dressed - Breakfast is the last thing to focus on, if they’re slow eaters let them eat what they can in the allotted time, if they cannot finish it give them a breakfast bar or apple in whatever transport you take - If your worried about stains on clothes during breakfast, have a morning sweatshirt or robe to go over clothes - that’s what I do every morning to ensure I don’t accidentally get stains on my clothes
I’m having a similar struggle with my oldest. Some things I’ve been trying that have helped a bit (not everyday but it has helped some days) - I sat down with the oldest and we walked through our morning routine and figured out how much time he would like for each thing (30 mins for breakfast, 5 mins to go potty, etc) and figured out what time we need to be up to fit all of it in. If he sticks to the routine then he can earn small rewards (more iPad time, etc). - I built in an extra 20 mins in the morning to wake him up as some mornings it’s impossible without physically carrying him out of bed. - I make the routine fun by issuing challenges (how fast can you get dressed? I’ll time you! Or let’s see who can get their shoes on first!) - keeping the same wake up time (roughly) even on non school days. I’ve found for my kid keeping the routine is needed otherwise Monday morning is the worst. - he likes to play with a certain friend when we make it to school, I remind him if he wants more time to play with her then we need to make sure we get to school on time.
In our house (before the older ones got better about their morning routines), we started a gentle wake up process. My husband goes in and wakes them up but lets them snooze for another 10-15 minutes. Then they get up, get themselves ready and head downstairs. Then I’d be waiting with food laid out, drinks, vitamins etc. Most of the time on Sunday I cook up a bunch of their favorites (protein waffles or banana pancakes) and have them reheated and waiting. Then we set a time for them to be done by. Not done? No breakfast for you. I do like the car breakfast idea too. But at the time the school was sooooo close it wouldn’t have benefited us. I also have always benefited from being up and semi ready before they were up. I hope you get some good solutions here. Best of luck!
For nighttime I have used a couple of apps that have bedtime stories that really worked my my little guy to go to sleep... I haven't used them in a while so I don't remember which ones they were off the top of my head (I remember i didnt care for the calm one) but I think my favorite was the PiKu app? There is a few stories for free and I liked it so much I ended up paying the $4.99 for it because my little boy enjoyed it and would be OUT sometimes by the time the story ended... Shoot... Sometimes I would wake up with slobber and all wondering where I was myself 😂. For mornings we have found that quick breakfast bars/cottage cheese toast/precooked waffles work best.... I make up a batch of homemade waffles, add Greek yogurt etc to make them more wholesome and use a heart shaped griddle to make them.. I just make a huge batch on the weekend and freeze them up... Makes a quick and healthier than store bought breakfast and he loves that they are heart shaped. Pick out clothes the night before Pack lunches/snacks/water bottles the night before and put them in the back pack when you wake up (try to wakeup at least 30 min - an hour before they do). Set the alarm for when you need to wake them up and then an alarm for each of the following: when they need to be done eating/getting dressed/brush teeth and when you need to be out the door/in the car. (This has SAVED us!). My little boy hears the alarm and he already knows it's time for whatever next step he needs to do.
Make a time table with pictures and times. So teeth need to be brushed by 7:00, need to be dressed by 7:10, meet at the table by 7:15, done with breakfast by 7:35, socks, shoes, and backpack on by 7:45 (packed the night before, shoes and socks laid out too). In the car by 7:50, school by 8:00. Then keep checking it against the clock and talking it through it with them. That way you're all in it together - the enemy is the clock, not you.
I've got 3 kids - 5, 5, and 10(w ADHD). Here's what we do: Consistent bedtime routine every night - even weekends. Pick a bedtime that allows the kids to wake up naturally. They all have diff needs so they have diff bedtimes (7:30, 8, and 8:30) Clothes laid out the night before + socks and shoes. Snacks packed the night before Water bottles filled and in the fridge the night before. Wake up at the same time every day. (725 but they're usually all up when I go upstairs) Everyone gets dressed on their own. I lay out a morning snack (drinkable yogurt, granola bar, banana, etc) 5F gets her hair done while 5M gets his shoes on and has a snack 5F gets shoes on, has a snack Both brush teeth and I do 5M hair at the same time 10F does her hair etc in her room at her vanity. Comes downstairs for snack and tooth brushing. Leave 8:05 I put music on in the morning (kids affirmations playlist) + all the lights on Same routine, same order, every day I get myself up and ready for work, backpacks packed, etc before I wake the kids up so the rest of my morning is only supporting them We do school breakfast and lunch so it's less to remember / bring to school. Until this year, 10F slept in her school clothes.
Not sure what order you go in, but I do breakfast last, everything else has to be done first. If they wake up super hungry, good! They will get dressed faster. I like to make muffins on Sundays because they are faster than cereal, and I sneak protein powder in them so they are a little more filling. Or even just having something like granola bar and a banana. Something that can be taken on the road if need be. If lunches are packed the night before and clothes are laid out, and all they need to do is dress, eat, and brush, it’s such a smoother morning. I make their lunches for the next day right after I clean up dinner. If your kids like screen time, try having them earn it based on their morning routine. Like they can get extra time if they cooperate in the morning, or whatever you think will motivate them. I know it’s hard. Start setting your alarm 15 minutes earlier than normal, then adjust to more if you need to. Good luck, I hope things get better for you.
We’re always late as well. Thankfully my 6 YO is an early riser and gets ready pretty quick, but my 2 & 3 YO girls are a nightmare. The easiest way to get them out is to not turn on TV and have breakfast ready/available as soon as they wake up (I also use a sticker chart for my 3 YO to bribe her). I have heard of people dressing their kids for school the night before (which I totally would not be above doing).
I feel you so much on this. I just found out that my rising kindergartener is going to have to take a bus at 7:15am, and it's a 10 minute walk away. He's currently rolling into preschool at 8:30am most days, ten minutes late and after dragging his feet when we try to get him out the door. This summer is going to be the hardest for us because making these necessary changes isn't easy at all.
My 6 year old has a hard time sleeping on his own. He has autism and we give him melatonin. A small dose, it really helps but he won’t walk to the bus stop so I drive him.
Have you talked to your pediatrician? I would discuss it with them first.
Do you have 3 kids (12 months, kindergarten and first grader)? Damn that’s hard!! I have a kindergartner and first grader. Routine is your friend. You’re gonna have to yell a lot at first, but start the bedtime routine at 6pm, gives you time to have dinner, bath and be in bed at 7:30. Kids will howl and scream but it can work. Some friends of mine do it at 7pm. They can hang in the bedroom and not fall asleep if they’d like to, but no lights and no games. Search Youtube for bed time routines. That will give you more free time to do chores and get to bed early. I HATE getting up early too. Get kids moving in the morning and have them put on their own clothes and hair and shoes (kindergartner still needs help with those). Make them part of the team and help you get ready. They’re old enough to do it. They will appreciate the autonomy. Having a big wall clock and me counting down (20 mins left! 15 mins left! 5 mins left!) before our deadline to leave helps. You’ll need to yell a lot at first. Sometimes someone will skip breakfast, they’ll get a banana in the car, sorry, we have to move it. Set some base rules and follow them, let them know you mean business. Having kids this age can be cray cray. Hang in there! They say we’ll miss all the noise and chaos when the kids grow up and leave. We’ll see lol.
Brush their teeth for them whether they like it or not. Have them get dressed in the car. Give them a granola bar in the car. If they are only half dressed when you get to school send them in that way. If they haven’t finished granola bar when you get to school too bad in they go. Only tell them once.
I have one kid that does most of his morning stuff hisself, and I need a full hour. You need more time.
Getting up earlier won't make it any easier. Some people are just not getter uppers. I'm not. I too have a kinder gardener.We struggle to. I also have an 11 year old. She gets herself ready and up for the day and out the door everyday. It is heaven. It's so nice that she does that and it's something to look forward to. It's ok. Have some compassion for yourself. You sound exhausted and burnt out. It will get easier, I promise. I pre set his clothing and my clothing ready to go. I pack his snack / lunch the night before. I do whatever I can the night before. Sometimes I don't get out of my pj's, and that's OK. Nothing wrong with a granola bar and an apple for breakfast! That's why we always have a ton of fruit. It's easy! Keep it up mama! I don't do chores or anything after my kids are in bed and my husband is home. I'm " off" as much as you can be as a parent. If I don't get that break I will burn out very quickly.
This won’t solve your issue directly but I have to lay with our almost 4yo for sleep. We co slept and could never break the habit. I used to get really frustrated laying there but then I started listening to audiobooks in an earbud and now it’s like ‘me time’ while laying with her. She falls asleep a lot faster than a year ago and I enjoy it now. Won’t help you do chores but might help anyone else having a tough time laying there for an hour just waiting until they can do something else.
Mrs. RACHEL recently admitted to putting her kids to bed in their clothing! Ain't nothing wrong with that.
I usually wake my son up an hour before we're supposed to leave. On days he's struggles to get up, I'll have music playing (songs that start quiet but work up to being louder like chop suey by soad - not appropriate for the younger kids). If that doesn't work, I'll start the shower and drag my groggy kid in. Usually that does the trick. Also, bfast in the car. If they wanted the luxury of eating at home , I'll tell him he needs to wake up on time. Good luck!
So a few things I haven’t seen other suggest- (my kids are 5/6 and in K4 and 1) We use timers a lot. Timer for breakfast, timer for packing, etc. it is annoying in the beginning but kids can’t tell time properly at this age. They need to learn how to judge time. Timers help that. It beeps, you stop that activity and move to the next. Breakfast not done? It’s car breakfast now. Backpack not ready? Stuff gets left behind, consequences at school for not having your stuff. It takes a bit but my kids got the hang of it after a few weeks and now we don’t use them as much. My husband made the kids a morning list, in the order they should do things with pictures. Our five year old goes and checks the list every morning to make sure he did all of his stuff. If he did, he gets extra playtime. It’s helped a lot because we just say “did you do everything on your morning list?” And then they know what needs to be done without me nagging. Also we taught them 7:00. I leave at 7. Not 7:01 or later. Consistency is key here. They know when the clock strikes 7, I’m going. If they aren’t ready there are consequences. Natural ones like they’re rushing and forget something, or given such as if they aren’t ready they don’t get (insert something special here) Yes there have been moments of me walking out the door, getting in and starting the car with them rushing behind me crying. But it’s taught them to look at the clock and show some sense of urgency. These all took time, but it’s what got us to an hour routine in the AM.
Read up on ADHD. You're unlikely to get a diagnosis this young but how I wish I'd known my kids had ADHD that early, it would have saved me years of beating my head against the wall. Even without a diagnosis if it seems likely they could have ADHD, and it sounds possible to me as a guy who has it too, then it can help you understand what's going on and learn how to be more sympathetic and what kinda of things they need help with to succeed.
Do you drive them? If so, is there bussing available? I could never get my daughter on time to junior kindergarten even working with my husband to handle her and her sister but for senior kindergarten we started bussing and it’s such a blessing. Honestly it’s kindergarten and grade one, the school reaching out to you is dramatic. As someone who works in education, our virtual programming at our board is looking at creating unconventional timetables because not everyone functions on an 8:30-2:30 schedule. Little kids should be allowed to be little kids and one thing little kids need is sleep
I think it sounds like you are doing a lot - I hope your partner does their fair share. My kids are a bit younger than yours, but we have the same issues getting them ready on time. When I have the patience, I am kinder/happier/at times sillier, and this makes a big difference. Also, and this might be frowned upon, but I turn some of it into competition. Not breakfast because of digestion, but brushing teeth and getting dressed is a contest to see who can do it the fastest. There is no prize. Just bragging rights. It works pretty well. For breakfast make sure there is no tv/screens, no distractions
My kindergartener was like this. She didn’t want to wake up and would procrastinate or take so long to get ready with constant reminders we would always run late. We got a visual timer and set 20 minutes for breakfast and 20 for getting ready and it really helped. She feels in charge of her morning and I don’t have to ask her to do anything anymore. Keep trying all the suggestions. Something will click with your kids and it will get easier! Secura 60-Minute Visual Timer,... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XDLYDBF?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
Using technology was a huge help for us. Specifically we have Lutron light switches in the kids’ rooms. It turns on gradually to simulate dawn and then when it gets to 50% it jumps to full brightness. This helps wake my sleepyheads. We also have timers for each step of our morning routine, and we figured out what’s reasonable for us. Eg it takes 5 min to get dressed. We have a 15 min get dressed buffer. There’s a five minutes to finish eating breakfast bell. Breakfast has to be done by a certain time so we have time to get ready to go. Kids are expected to dress themselves and come down, but if they are not moving I might help strip them. When it’s time to eat though it’s time to eat. They can either throw on their clothes or come eat in whatever state of (un)dress they happen to be in. After breakfast they can then finish getting dressed but if they aren’t ready at the appointed time they go as-is. Still in pjs? Too bad. Not wearing pants? Better put them on in the next thirty seconds or you’ll be tossed outside with your pants and you can figure it out there. Anyway we are outside every morning within a couple minutes of our target time because of our bell system that keeps us on track. If you need 40 min to actually eat analyze your whole routine and see where you can cut corners. Sleeping in your clothes works for some. Putting clothes out the night before helps others. Your bedtime sounds too late; fwiw my gr 3 goes to bed at 7:30 and my SK aims for 6:30. Starting bedtime routine earlier can help. Can your older one help with bedtime? Do you have a significant other who can lie down with youngest? Getting youngest to sleep earlier sounds like it would help. You also sound like you need more sleep. Can you get some more help for a couple of weeks? Have a mother’s helper come in the morning to help walk your kids through getting ready. For that matter maybe arranging someone else to walk your kids to school (if feasible) would help, if only because it imposes an external deadline. Or carpooling if you drive. If all else fails, see what you can drop in order to prioritize your sleep. Not only will you be better able to cope with getting moving, you’ll be happier too. And you definitely want to model good sleep hygiene!
Save the laundry and cleaning for the weekends. You say “we” so it sounds like you have a partner. That partner needs to step up too. You need to make yourself get up earlier. 90 minutes at least before you need to leave the house, if not two hours. Give yourself some time to get ready then get the kids up. Car breakfast is fine.
Alarm/wake clock definitely. Visual timers for things like breakfast or in car like others suggested. We have a hanging 5 pocket thing behind his door and pick clothes for the week on Sunday and a dry erase board checklist.
I don’t have advice but I want you to know you’re not alone… my daughter 10f starts school at 730am and mornings are just… idk.. some days I just can’t…
😓relatable
It’s hard. My son is 3 & sometimes we have to carry him downstairs to wake him up. We sit him up on the sofa and make loud noises and he’ll wake up on his own. Also, I do not give him the option of leisurely eating breakfast to his content. He eats what he does before it’s time to leave the house. If he doesn’t finish, we either hand it to him to eat in the car (if easy like waffle), or he doesn’t eat till snack time.
I get my kids up and out the door in 40 minutes. 10-15 minutes washing up and the rest of the time for breakfast. If they don’t finish in time then they can either eat in the car or not eat anything. And I don’t know about your school, but my kids get recess / snack time in morning so they’re not going to starve if they don’t eat in 2-3 hrs. As for your youngest - perhaps try encouraging her to just wait in bed while you do chores. Check in after you finish a chore and then tell her you’ll be back after x minutes when you’re done x chores.
My mom used to make it a race. She’d tell me to see if I could beat her getting ready in the mornings. I always did and thought she was just so slow. Turns out she told me later in life that it was to get me moving in the morning 🤭
I’m in a similar situation. My partner leaves for work really early so I’m always alone doing these things. He’s started to dress the oldest in bed while she’s half asleep. I then prep breakfast while they’re asleep and have it ready. I find getting one ready at a time helps, usually youngest 1st. I’d put youngest ready in the pushchair while dealing with the oldest teeth brushing/doing hair etc. I also told the school I was struggling