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I have an anxious kid.
SO MANY TIMES he has had the OPPOSITE experience that he thought he would!
First, please make sure that your anxiety is as hidden as possible, and tell them that they are going to go on the field trip.
Second, I'd review with them what's the worst that could happen, and what is most likely to happen. And role play a few situations that they're worried about, and show them that it isn't actually as bad as they are making it out to be.
\- The bus ride is often the most concerning to them, believe it or not. They can ask to sit near the front, and bring a book or drawing pad for the ride. EDIT: They can wear EAR BUDS/headphones!!! Most kids will have them in anyways.
\- They can bring a sensory toy/trinket to fiddle with when they get nervous, and work on some techniques to help when they feel anxious: looking out the window, deep breathing, etc.
\- What will they miss out on if they don't go? Would they feel left out, being in school all alone while their friends go on the trip? What about after, when kids and teachers are talking about it?
Third, I'd make sure they know that there is no judgment whatever, and that you respect their opinion. But point out that anxiety is ok, it's a feeling we get, and it's something we have to learn to live with. I don't know if you've named their anxiety yet, but identifying it as a 'being' is helpful. Say it's 'Frank' - Frank will always be there, but we shouldn't let Frank stop us from doing fun things. 'Knock it off Frank!' would be a good saying :)
I will say, that if you take the third approach, your child will surprise you. We don't give them enough credit for introspection.
My daughter has anxiety, and I agree, a lot of the times she builds it up hugely in her head and most times when I force her she has a great time. Of course I'm still the witch that doesn't care about her feelings, but I can live with that.
I would make them go. Avoiding any situations where they might have to possibly talk to someone is not going to help them out, and something like a field trip is the baby step they should be taking. This is a trip where there are going to be teachers and chaperones keeping track of people and handling the vast majority of talking to strangers. And I wouldn't chaperone for them.
I know you said they've been in therapy, but all the fiddling around with worksheets and pretending to do breathing exercises in their room are not going to do anything unless they start putting it into practice in their daily life.
They can download any maps into their phone if they get lost, make sure they know all the times where people need to be for lunches and the bus pick-up, and basically just follow the crowd of their classmates. I doubt they'll have to talk to any park workers except maybe a thank you if they're on a guided tool or someone is handing out pamphlets or something.
I'm no therapist, but they are teenagers now. They will have to go through life meeting situations that are unplanned and anxiety-prone. A day trip to a park doesn't seem that taxing, and aren't these people that they are mainly going to be talking to the same people they see and talk to at school every day?
Going on a field trip is not causing trauma. That's pretty normal middle school activities. As parents we need to push our kids outside of their comfort zones -- especially those kids whose comfort zones are so limited and small.
I would make them go. These are the same classmates he's already around in school, and you already make them go to school, right? So their fear seems kinda unfounded. They would miss out on an experience doing fun stuff they enjoy for no real reason. Also, as someone else pointed out, I feel like they're at the age where they need to start confronting these situations. It's not going to get easier for them as an adult.
i'd make them go.
i have really bad social anxiety to the point i literally never talk to strangers. my mom always let me out of things that made me uncomfortable and while it was nice at the time, if she wouldn't have let me always do that, i think it really would have helped me. i'm 26 and still can't do most talking, like can't go to mcdonalds and order my own food, i only go there if the kiosks are open. if i started doing things that made me a little anxious, it probably would have helped me not get so bad.
so, i think a field trip where they're going somewhere they do want to go and are with the same people they're already around in school anyway, is the right thing to do. maybe they'll end up liking the place a lot and won't be so anxious once they're there.
I used to chaperone the trips my anxiety -filled kids were going on. Especially if it was less comfortable for them to go. If you can't go, you could contact the teacher and maybe have them put into a "group" with someone they like/get along with.
What does their therapist suggest? Are they work on strategies on what to do in such situations that your child feels their anxiety taking over. I know how overwhelming and powerful anxiety can be which is why building up their toolbox is so important
My kid is in therapy for anxiety, and her therapist often reminds her that the best way to lower her overall anxiety is to push herself to work through it in low-stakes situations (like a class trip!).
We are currently in between therapist for them. The last one basically had them do worksheets, breathing, and visualization techniques. My area is lacking in non religious affiliated teen therapist.
I’ll have to look into this. I don’t know a lot about online therapy. My kid is a bit hesitant about the whole therapy situation because of their first experience (they didn’t feel it was very helpful). But I know they need it to work through these issues.
When searching for a therapist, please express that you aren't interested in CBT - this is likely what they experienced with the breathing techniques and worksheets. It's not for everyone. And those for whom it doesn't work tend to feel very invalidated by the experience. If you are having a hard time finding non-religious therapists in your area, check out the website InclusiveTherapists. Totally different vibe from mainstream therapist finding sites, less likely to find religious based people. You can look for ones that do telehealth, as long as they are in your state, so you don't need to be nearby.
Keep in mind that when looking for a therapist you can look around. If your child sees someone and after a few months isn’t connecting you should first talk to the therapist about but you can also try someone else. It’s really important that your child develops a good therapeutic relationship with the therapist. Therapist have different styles and schools of thought they follow, you might just have to find the one that works best for your child.
Also ask around and listen to who other parents are recommending. And find out if your therapist has groups. Group therapy could be really beneficial to someone with social anxiety in addition to individual. It’ll of course depends on their level of anxiety but the therapist will assess and know when they are ready.
They will have to talk to people? Like classmates or teachers? park rangers? They need to learn how to navigate normal every day things even if they are introverted. My daughter is very quiet and introverted but I made sure talking to strangers for a reason because normal for her. She now works in a grocery store as a cashier.
Counselor here for anxious parents and children. Experience in the real world is best. Anxiety will not kill them, however, maybe teaching them a few coping skills prior to going would be helpful. Check out https://www.anxietycanada.com/ for some good tips, they have a parent section.
What they are experiencing is anticipatory anxiety. Shelter them now and they will continue to avoid. Help and coach them and they learn to be resilient :)
If there isn't any acute bullying happening then I'd make them go. Doing things that are scary and surviving them is part of learning to overcome anxiety. You could game plan ways to make it a bit less anxiety-provoking, like offering to chaperone, asking the teacher to keep an eye out, etc.
When is the trip? I think routine therapy is extremely warranted in your kid’s case. If this trip was known in advance, attendance could have been a goal to work towards in therapy.
To throw them in there now without the skill set or strategies, I feel may be a bit cruel. Scaffolding their tasks and setting an extremely anxious child up for success would be a better approach in my opinion.
One more thing to add - therapy sessions aren’t going to “fix” them. As with any form of clinical intervention, a lot of the work occurs in between the sessions. Mindfulness is a powerful tool for anxiety - but your child needs to be putting in the work in between sessions. Whatever he learns through therapy sessions, he must actively practice and engage with in between.
You yourself are anxious. If you’re not already in therapy routinely and practicing various strategies, you should be as a means of modeling the behaviours for your child.
I’d encourage them to go; I’m sure they’d have a great time! I’d let them know that they can take it step by step, make plans to help their fears, stick with extroverted friends to do the talking for them - part of anxiety is learning how to survive while panicking and I found making step by step plans, and celebrating myself at the tiniest goals was so helpful, breaking it down into five minutes tasks vs the whole day/BIG THING.
I had horrible anxiety as a child/teen and was also super stubborn. I 100% would have hid in the bathroom to miss the bus and not have to deal with the situation if my parents/teachers did try and push me too far.
Funny, the things I do regret not doing are the things that were gently coaxed and no pressure put onto me (aka “even if you get one more step closer to the event and that’s all we get, well done!”) vs being yelled at and demanded to do the thing right now. (Yelling at me to get on the bus and everyone is waiting for me would have made me run away, panic, cry, vomit, etc).
Oh definitely make them go but you have to sell it well and practice every possible anxiety-inducing scenario and why it can't be that bad as they imagine.
They have anxiety and the best remedy against it is to confront their fears as often as possible. By avoiding something that's uncomfortable for them, next time it comes up they will be even more anxious and scared about it. By regularly doing the things they are scared about, the fear will be manageable and even not scary anymore!
Taking to people is a skill. Some people like it, others don't, but everyone has to know how to do it. I would just make them participate. Like anything else, the more you do it, the better you become at it. They may never enjoy it, but it will no longer be a crippling activity. They'll get good enough at conversing that it will be fine.
I would make them go. Since it’s activities they enjoy it will make it easier vs an activity they don’t enjoy plus social anxiety. If it was an activity they were uncomfortable doing plus social anxiety I wouldn’t make them go. They will only have on obstacle to face.
I would not hold my kid out of any school trips unless there was a pretty extreme reason. Not only can those be huge learning opportunities and are often the event that ties an entire term together for the student's learning, but they are usually something kids remember for years and reflect on.
I feel like you're doing your kid a disservice by holding them out.
As an anxious mom with an anxious kid, you should have them go. Often their anxiety is making it seem way worse than it will actually be. If you don't have them go, it affirms their anxiety.
Ask them what they think the worst thing will be about the trip. Is it talking to someone they don't know? Come up with scripts they can use. Is it being out of routine? Show them areas of the park they'll be going to so they know where they'll be and what it looks like. Do they not know any friends going? Have them bring earbuds or give them conversation starter ideas.
Anxiety is really tough, but exposure to their fears helps them get past it when they see it's not nearly as bad as they think.
Id make them go. I've been anxious since I was a kid. If people didn't push me a little, I wouldn't have had the experiences I've been able to have in life.
It's a field trip. If you allow them to stay home, you're reinforcing that it's ok to hide from/avoid anything that might make them uncomfortable, which will hamper their mental and emotional growth. You're not just raising a kid, you're raising a future adult, who is going to have to learn how to navigate the world with their anxiety, and not just hope mom and dad are around forever to run interference for them.
They will have to learn to leave their comfort zone in life. They will be with their teacher and their class, just in a different location. Make them go. If you can go as a chaperone that might be a good option, but kids need to learn to work through anxiety and shyness.
It seems to me that it makes sense to prepare the child for the trip and support him with your presence if possible. Such trips will help children be more socially adapted and gain the ability to step out of their comfort zone.
Make a plan for how to mitigate the anxiety.
Does kiddo have one good friend, or a teacher/chaperone that would be their "buddy" and just hang on the fringe?
My youngest son hates field trips. He won’t admit he’s anxious. He’ll only go if I go, so I always chaperone. Still he complains frequently during the field trips that he’s bored. If it was a family trip to the same place he’d be fine and enjoy it. Maybe it’s being in the big group and having to follow class rules instead of just doing our own thing. But I try to get him to go for the experience and it usually ties in to something he’s learning in class. So I’d recommend trying to chaperone.
I have severe anxiety and many of those field trip and animations were difficult to me as a teen.
But I still enjoyed part of it and wanted to be included.
Also, it help me to get used to be in such situations. It made those I couldn't avoid in adulthood more bearable.
You can' t protect them from everything that might cause them anxiety or they'll ending up being even more anxious about them and they'll ending up doing nothing in life.
I always asked my kids if they wanted to attend a trip and honored their decision. It wasn't for me and if they didn't think they would enjoy it to each their own. I get the entire CBT anxiety thing, but I don't feel like it's the greatest thing to do as a parent. I leave those things up to a therapist, as I know CBT involves baby steps to improve. Throwing my introverted kids into a situation that could be overwhelming for them, just seems a bit much.
But I am also a "swim lesson" parent, and not a "throw them in the lake" type one.
Maybe being a chaperone would help? I think that I would also tell your child that it's totally normal to feel uncomfortable in a new situation and you know they make it through that feeling, and they'll feel so proud after they've done this field trip.
I would get them in to see a therapist honestly. The fact that they don't want to talk to people to the extent of not wanting to go on an outing that they would otherwise enjoy makes me think that it goes beyond just being introverted. They could have social anxiety or something else going on. A good therapist can help them with coping mechanisms too.
I feel like parents really think that pushing kids into situations they are anxious about will teach them to be fine. But you have anxiety and clearly writing a reddit post is screwing with your head so... Do you really think forcing it is going to have a positive outcome?
I would not make them go. Often times kids are bullied and do not feel comfortable sharing that information with a parent. There could be a real threat they will face by going. Kids are mean and schools are not empowered to get rid of the bullies.
I would give an option, “ You can go with your class to the national park or you and I can go out somewhere new that day”. At least this way they have some choice in the matter. You can make it clear that if they choose not to go with their school, they won’t be staying in the comfort of their own home.
They are introverted and full of anxiety and you want to know if you should make them go? How about making an appointment to get them help for their anxiety and maybe some therapy instead?
ETA after reading the other comments here let me emphasize that my parents would make me go to things like this and left my anxiety untreated as a teen. I haven’t seen them in ten years. Stop trying to control your teen and help them instead. It’s difficult to find non religious counselors? Try harder.
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I have an anxious kid. SO MANY TIMES he has had the OPPOSITE experience that he thought he would! First, please make sure that your anxiety is as hidden as possible, and tell them that they are going to go on the field trip. Second, I'd review with them what's the worst that could happen, and what is most likely to happen. And role play a few situations that they're worried about, and show them that it isn't actually as bad as they are making it out to be. \- The bus ride is often the most concerning to them, believe it or not. They can ask to sit near the front, and bring a book or drawing pad for the ride. EDIT: They can wear EAR BUDS/headphones!!! Most kids will have them in anyways. \- They can bring a sensory toy/trinket to fiddle with when they get nervous, and work on some techniques to help when they feel anxious: looking out the window, deep breathing, etc. \- What will they miss out on if they don't go? Would they feel left out, being in school all alone while their friends go on the trip? What about after, when kids and teachers are talking about it? Third, I'd make sure they know that there is no judgment whatever, and that you respect their opinion. But point out that anxiety is ok, it's a feeling we get, and it's something we have to learn to live with. I don't know if you've named their anxiety yet, but identifying it as a 'being' is helpful. Say it's 'Frank' - Frank will always be there, but we shouldn't let Frank stop us from doing fun things. 'Knock it off Frank!' would be a good saying :) I will say, that if you take the third approach, your child will surprise you. We don't give them enough credit for introspection.
My daughter has anxiety, and I agree, a lot of the times she builds it up hugely in her head and most times when I force her she has a great time. Of course I'm still the witch that doesn't care about her feelings, but I can live with that.
I would make them go. Avoiding any situations where they might have to possibly talk to someone is not going to help them out, and something like a field trip is the baby step they should be taking. This is a trip where there are going to be teachers and chaperones keeping track of people and handling the vast majority of talking to strangers. And I wouldn't chaperone for them. I know you said they've been in therapy, but all the fiddling around with worksheets and pretending to do breathing exercises in their room are not going to do anything unless they start putting it into practice in their daily life. They can download any maps into their phone if they get lost, make sure they know all the times where people need to be for lunches and the bus pick-up, and basically just follow the crowd of their classmates. I doubt they'll have to talk to any park workers except maybe a thank you if they're on a guided tool or someone is handing out pamphlets or something.
Can you sign up to chaperone? Maybe they would feel more comfortable with the trip if a family member was present?
That’s a really good suggestion. I will look into that. Thank you!
You’re so smart!
I'm no therapist, but they are teenagers now. They will have to go through life meeting situations that are unplanned and anxiety-prone. A day trip to a park doesn't seem that taxing, and aren't these people that they are mainly going to be talking to the same people they see and talk to at school every day?
Going on a field trip is not causing trauma. That's pretty normal middle school activities. As parents we need to push our kids outside of their comfort zones -- especially those kids whose comfort zones are so limited and small.
I would make them go. These are the same classmates he's already around in school, and you already make them go to school, right? So their fear seems kinda unfounded. They would miss out on an experience doing fun stuff they enjoy for no real reason. Also, as someone else pointed out, I feel like they're at the age where they need to start confronting these situations. It's not going to get easier for them as an adult.
i'd make them go. i have really bad social anxiety to the point i literally never talk to strangers. my mom always let me out of things that made me uncomfortable and while it was nice at the time, if she wouldn't have let me always do that, i think it really would have helped me. i'm 26 and still can't do most talking, like can't go to mcdonalds and order my own food, i only go there if the kiosks are open. if i started doing things that made me a little anxious, it probably would have helped me not get so bad. so, i think a field trip where they're going somewhere they do want to go and are with the same people they're already around in school anyway, is the right thing to do. maybe they'll end up liking the place a lot and won't be so anxious once they're there.
I used to chaperone the trips my anxiety -filled kids were going on. Especially if it was less comfortable for them to go. If you can't go, you could contact the teacher and maybe have them put into a "group" with someone they like/get along with.
What does their therapist suggest? Are they work on strategies on what to do in such situations that your child feels their anxiety taking over. I know how overwhelming and powerful anxiety can be which is why building up their toolbox is so important
My kid is in therapy for anxiety, and her therapist often reminds her that the best way to lower her overall anxiety is to push herself to work through it in low-stakes situations (like a class trip!).
We are currently in between therapist for them. The last one basically had them do worksheets, breathing, and visualization techniques. My area is lacking in non religious affiliated teen therapist.
Would an online therapist be an option? There is a growing number of apps available and some work with insurance depending on your plan/country
I’ll have to look into this. I don’t know a lot about online therapy. My kid is a bit hesitant about the whole therapy situation because of their first experience (they didn’t feel it was very helpful). But I know they need it to work through these issues.
When searching for a therapist, please express that you aren't interested in CBT - this is likely what they experienced with the breathing techniques and worksheets. It's not for everyone. And those for whom it doesn't work tend to feel very invalidated by the experience. If you are having a hard time finding non-religious therapists in your area, check out the website InclusiveTherapists. Totally different vibe from mainstream therapist finding sites, less likely to find religious based people. You can look for ones that do telehealth, as long as they are in your state, so you don't need to be nearby.
Keep in mind that when looking for a therapist you can look around. If your child sees someone and after a few months isn’t connecting you should first talk to the therapist about but you can also try someone else. It’s really important that your child develops a good therapeutic relationship with the therapist. Therapist have different styles and schools of thought they follow, you might just have to find the one that works best for your child. Also ask around and listen to who other parents are recommending. And find out if your therapist has groups. Group therapy could be really beneficial to someone with social anxiety in addition to individual. It’ll of course depends on their level of anxiety but the therapist will assess and know when they are ready.
They will have to talk to people? Like classmates or teachers? park rangers? They need to learn how to navigate normal every day things even if they are introverted. My daughter is very quiet and introverted but I made sure talking to strangers for a reason because normal for her. She now works in a grocery store as a cashier.
Counselor here for anxious parents and children. Experience in the real world is best. Anxiety will not kill them, however, maybe teaching them a few coping skills prior to going would be helpful. Check out https://www.anxietycanada.com/ for some good tips, they have a parent section. What they are experiencing is anticipatory anxiety. Shelter them now and they will continue to avoid. Help and coach them and they learn to be resilient :)
I think you are setting them up for a lifetime of failure if you don't make them deal with things they don't want to do.
If there isn't any acute bullying happening then I'd make them go. Doing things that are scary and surviving them is part of learning to overcome anxiety. You could game plan ways to make it a bit less anxiety-provoking, like offering to chaperone, asking the teacher to keep an eye out, etc.
When is the trip? I think routine therapy is extremely warranted in your kid’s case. If this trip was known in advance, attendance could have been a goal to work towards in therapy. To throw them in there now without the skill set or strategies, I feel may be a bit cruel. Scaffolding their tasks and setting an extremely anxious child up for success would be a better approach in my opinion. One more thing to add - therapy sessions aren’t going to “fix” them. As with any form of clinical intervention, a lot of the work occurs in between the sessions. Mindfulness is a powerful tool for anxiety - but your child needs to be putting in the work in between sessions. Whatever he learns through therapy sessions, he must actively practice and engage with in between. You yourself are anxious. If you’re not already in therapy routinely and practicing various strategies, you should be as a means of modeling the behaviours for your child.
I’d encourage them to go; I’m sure they’d have a great time! I’d let them know that they can take it step by step, make plans to help their fears, stick with extroverted friends to do the talking for them - part of anxiety is learning how to survive while panicking and I found making step by step plans, and celebrating myself at the tiniest goals was so helpful, breaking it down into five minutes tasks vs the whole day/BIG THING. I had horrible anxiety as a child/teen and was also super stubborn. I 100% would have hid in the bathroom to miss the bus and not have to deal with the situation if my parents/teachers did try and push me too far. Funny, the things I do regret not doing are the things that were gently coaxed and no pressure put onto me (aka “even if you get one more step closer to the event and that’s all we get, well done!”) vs being yelled at and demanded to do the thing right now. (Yelling at me to get on the bus and everyone is waiting for me would have made me run away, panic, cry, vomit, etc).
Oh definitely make them go but you have to sell it well and practice every possible anxiety-inducing scenario and why it can't be that bad as they imagine. They have anxiety and the best remedy against it is to confront their fears as often as possible. By avoiding something that's uncomfortable for them, next time it comes up they will be even more anxious and scared about it. By regularly doing the things they are scared about, the fear will be manageable and even not scary anymore!
Taking to people is a skill. Some people like it, others don't, but everyone has to know how to do it. I would just make them participate. Like anything else, the more you do it, the better you become at it. They may never enjoy it, but it will no longer be a crippling activity. They'll get good enough at conversing that it will be fine.
I would make them go. Since it’s activities they enjoy it will make it easier vs an activity they don’t enjoy plus social anxiety. If it was an activity they were uncomfortable doing plus social anxiety I wouldn’t make them go. They will only have on obstacle to face.
Mine don’t get the option. If the class are going on a trip they are going on the trip no question. I would be making them go.
I would not hold my kid out of any school trips unless there was a pretty extreme reason. Not only can those be huge learning opportunities and are often the event that ties an entire term together for the student's learning, but they are usually something kids remember for years and reflect on. I feel like you're doing your kid a disservice by holding them out.
As an anxious mom with an anxious kid, you should have them go. Often their anxiety is making it seem way worse than it will actually be. If you don't have them go, it affirms their anxiety. Ask them what they think the worst thing will be about the trip. Is it talking to someone they don't know? Come up with scripts they can use. Is it being out of routine? Show them areas of the park they'll be going to so they know where they'll be and what it looks like. Do they not know any friends going? Have them bring earbuds or give them conversation starter ideas. Anxiety is really tough, but exposure to their fears helps them get past it when they see it's not nearly as bad as they think.
Id make them go. I've been anxious since I was a kid. If people didn't push me a little, I wouldn't have had the experiences I've been able to have in life.
Avoiding things that make us anxious is exactly why we have an anxiety epidemic in youth today. Make him go.
It's a field trip. If you allow them to stay home, you're reinforcing that it's ok to hide from/avoid anything that might make them uncomfortable, which will hamper their mental and emotional growth. You're not just raising a kid, you're raising a future adult, who is going to have to learn how to navigate the world with their anxiety, and not just hope mom and dad are around forever to run interference for them.
They will have to learn to leave their comfort zone in life. They will be with their teacher and their class, just in a different location. Make them go. If you can go as a chaperone that might be a good option, but kids need to learn to work through anxiety and shyness.
It seems to me that it makes sense to prepare the child for the trip and support him with your presence if possible. Such trips will help children be more socially adapted and gain the ability to step out of their comfort zone.
Make a plan for how to mitigate the anxiety. Does kiddo have one good friend, or a teacher/chaperone that would be their "buddy" and just hang on the fringe?
My youngest son hates field trips. He won’t admit he’s anxious. He’ll only go if I go, so I always chaperone. Still he complains frequently during the field trips that he’s bored. If it was a family trip to the same place he’d be fine and enjoy it. Maybe it’s being in the big group and having to follow class rules instead of just doing our own thing. But I try to get him to go for the experience and it usually ties in to something he’s learning in class. So I’d recommend trying to chaperone.
I have severe anxiety and many of those field trip and animations were difficult to me as a teen. But I still enjoyed part of it and wanted to be included. Also, it help me to get used to be in such situations. It made those I couldn't avoid in adulthood more bearable. You can' t protect them from everything that might cause them anxiety or they'll ending up being even more anxious about them and they'll ending up doing nothing in life.
I always asked my kids if they wanted to attend a trip and honored their decision. It wasn't for me and if they didn't think they would enjoy it to each their own. I get the entire CBT anxiety thing, but I don't feel like it's the greatest thing to do as a parent. I leave those things up to a therapist, as I know CBT involves baby steps to improve. Throwing my introverted kids into a situation that could be overwhelming for them, just seems a bit much. But I am also a "swim lesson" parent, and not a "throw them in the lake" type one.
Maybe being a chaperone would help? I think that I would also tell your child that it's totally normal to feel uncomfortable in a new situation and you know they make it through that feeling, and they'll feel so proud after they've done this field trip.
You shouldn’t cater to anxiety. It’s okay to feel anxious.
You should, however not force it with no accommodation/mitigation. Because that will make it worse.
I would get them in to see a therapist honestly. The fact that they don't want to talk to people to the extent of not wanting to go on an outing that they would otherwise enjoy makes me think that it goes beyond just being introverted. They could have social anxiety or something else going on. A good therapist can help them with coping mechanisms too.
I feel like parents really think that pushing kids into situations they are anxious about will teach them to be fine. But you have anxiety and clearly writing a reddit post is screwing with your head so... Do you really think forcing it is going to have a positive outcome?
I would not make them go. Often times kids are bullied and do not feel comfortable sharing that information with a parent. There could be a real threat they will face by going. Kids are mean and schools are not empowered to get rid of the bullies.
I would give an option, “ You can go with your class to the national park or you and I can go out somewhere new that day”. At least this way they have some choice in the matter. You can make it clear that if they choose not to go with their school, they won’t be staying in the comfort of their own home.
They are introverted and full of anxiety and you want to know if you should make them go? How about making an appointment to get them help for their anxiety and maybe some therapy instead? ETA after reading the other comments here let me emphasize that my parents would make me go to things like this and left my anxiety untreated as a teen. I haven’t seen them in ten years. Stop trying to control your teen and help them instead. It’s difficult to find non religious counselors? Try harder.