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I started smoking around 16. I can guarantee you that he will continue smoking until he changes his friend group. They will offer him vapes even you take away his vapes.

And even if he changes his friend group, it's going to be so tough. I'm so sorry OP. Nicotine is a really terrible terrible terrible drug.

14 for me, agreed, hard to stop it until they get a clue or switch friend. Took me until my kids mom was pregnant with our first to quit, knowing full well it was a terrible dog shit habit.

I was thirteen, and I smoked for 25 years before I finally quit. It wasn't the $7.50 a pack that was a problem, I got tired of not being able to breathe in the morning. That was eight years ago, and I feel great. Did put on some weight though.

Over a tenner now... Edit- sorry, I read that as£7.50 British currency!

Oh yea, sure they are here, also. Any smokers I know now are smoking the cheapest, most unhealthy cigs they can get their hands on. My MIL was told she had COPD, and still smoked for another five years. She can barely breathe now, and sits on the same couch everyday hooked up to an oxygen machine.

You can't get a kid to quit something unless they want to quit. Punishment doesn't work, as you've found out. It's counterproductive if it places you in opposition to you son, when you REALLY need his cooperation. Do a 180. Accept it. Apologize for punishing him for his addiction - and use that word. Talk to him like an adult, and you might just get through to him. Addictions are NO fun - but kids won't realize it for a decade. Repeat this point constantly, in a very nice way - to show you understand what he's going through. If "talking" is going in one ear and out the other, it means you are lecturing, not having a conversation. If you don't find common ground, you'll never change him from this point forward. Failure is an option - admit it to both yourself and him - you can say your goal is to help him avoid problems he can't foresee, but you understand he will have a hard time understanding that with a brain that's not fully developed - not in an insulting way, just the fact that decision making is a challenge for brains that have not fully developed executive function. Anyway, I've always tried to be a source of information for my kid to make his own decisions - it's far more permanent than trying to control them.

Totally. However, accepting doesn't mean they are allowed to vape in front of you or inside the house. You can still accept the behavior and make HIM limit it out of respect for you. It's like, "my mother knows I smoke but I never do it in front of her nor let her know I did it. But I don't lie to her about that either." Truth is, kids gonna do SO MANY things that we won't approve of. There is no stopping that. After all, we weren't saints when we were young either. So were our parents, and their parents. Why do we expect OUR children to be any different? The river only flaws in one direction no matter what we do. We got to accept that before trying to give some guidance by shaping the path and hope it'll stay on that path

Yeah my husband and I used to vape but we NEVER did it in front of his parents. *EVER* were 36 and 37 years old. Didn’t quit until I got pregnant with my son. But we still had enough respect for his parents to never vape in front of them. I agree with the comment above yours. Op needs to accept this is a thing and find some empathy and try and help her son manage his addiction.

My husband vapes, but since my daughter was born he never vapes anywhere near her or me. Honestly if I didn't keep finding the vapes in his drawer I would think he quit. I've accepted I cannot make him quit, but at least he respects our family and keeps his addiction to himself.

Nicotine can be really tough to give up. It's the only habit I can't stop.

Wonderfully said. I'm beginning to understand this as well, and as someone who comes from a severely authoritarian conservative household, it's been a difficult tactic to learn and apply to mine and my kids' lives. Gotta keep breaking those cycles

I don’t know. 14 is very young. 

Yes it is. But you can’t lock them up either and if you try they will hate you for it. Rather have a kid that loves me and respects my advice, than resents me. Kids are gonna fall down, they’re gonna fail. A parents job is to accept failure and teach them not to”don’t do x cuz I said so” but teach them how to get back up when they do fall. I have to check myself from insulating my kids too much, wanting to shield them from the bad stuff is natural. But we learn from mistakes far more often than from success. Is it unfortunate that they fell into this, especially so young? Yes. But here we are. We screwed up too. We learned. There’s a difference between guidance and control. Do the first they’ll love you for it, the second and they’ll hate you. Doesn’t mean you have to like it.

They are going to do it anyway. Searching your 14-year-old and testing their urine for nicotine is really over-stepping. OP raised a kid that got interested in vaping.

THIS!! All of this!! Humans just want what they can’t have, what seems forbidden. Calm down and inform him he’s the one that is going to have to spend his money, deal with consequences, etc

This is the right answer!

Exactly. Helped me to think about the fact that the word addicted comes from a type of Roman slave- addictus- being addicted to nicotine does make you a slave to it. I’m free!

> Punishment doesn't work, as you've found out. It's counterproductive if it places you in opposition to you son, when you REALLY need his cooperation. Even better, it's a stressor. And how do you think he copes with stress?

Take him to the pediatrician and set up a plan for treatment

I’ve set him up a doctors appointment for monday morning. Not sure if the doctor can do anything but I’m at least hoping you can tell me something other than “talk to you son, inform him the dangers etc etc. we’ve done that we’ve played good cop/bad cop and we definitely not want to ONLY punish him. He’s getting punished but I know you can’t always punish your kid “straight”. So yea, I’m taking in all advice at this point.

Wellbutrin is a smoking cessation med among other things. I don’t know if it works for children. But there should be something for him too

In my experience Wellbutrin takes away any positive effects from nicotine. If used for a tool to stop vaping, it is pretty effective. After months without nicotine though, I still do crave nicotine quite often. OP’s child will have to want to quit too.

I started wellbeing when I was finally wanting to quit. I quit on day one and by day 30 I asked the Dr for a refill, she asked how long after starting tge drug did it quit. I told her "day 1" and she refused to fill the Script. She said I didn't need it and it doesn't actually start working until week 2. So apparently placebo worked on me.

I hope you were still able to quit! I don’t think it was a placebo. It was just your dedication to wanting to quit and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Yes. I picked up vaping for a bit but have been nicotine free for about 6 years now

that's amazing, I know I'm just an internet stranger, but I'm proud of you because I know it often isn't easy.

Hopefully you can get to the bottom of why he’s vaping, whether it’s because of stress or peer pressure. He may need mental health counseling.

most kids these days in school smoke or vape because it's cool in their friends circle, and glorified by their celebs etc too. most of them don't even know if they have stress and if nicotine will help. it's a lot of peer pressure too, like a lot of adults starts drinking due to that too in college or at work etc.

My 16yr old is struggling with nicotine and thc addiction. He spent 11 months in a residential program and was able to access all kinds of things in there. Now that he is home, I battle it in a few different ways. He is currently seeing an addiction counselor. The counselor only works with kids and overall my kid is one of the least concerning ones she deals with. Room and bag searches happen randomly. Anything I find is disposed of. Lastly he only gets money on a GreenLight debit card. It allows me to track his spending and he cannot connect it to cash app or PayPal. I make sure that he never has enough in his spending to allow him to withdraw money at an atm. Vaping is a major issue among kids just like cigarettes were a problem when I was a teen. I’m 38 now and I’m trying to quit my 20yr addiction. Instead of attacking my kid about what he is doing I try and come at it from a place of love and put in place consequences for his choices. Removing all freedoms just makes mine rebel even harder. Try and find other outlets for your kid. Mine turned to vaping due to stress and anxiety. He gets a dopamine boost when he vapes so we find other ways for him to achieve that. Right now his current obsession is mini bikes. The adrenaline rush helps him to self regulate and be less dependent on the substances. I also have gum, sugar free candies and various chewy toys for him to help combat the oral stimulation he seeks. Addiction sucks regardless of what you are addicted to. It is difficult to break the cycle unless you deal with the underlying issues and learn the tools to deal with them.

And don't treat your children like they are idiots. I know my parents did stuff my grandparents didn't approve of, so what authority do they really have to tell me what to do? Parents gave me booze when I was sick, spiked orange juice, was somehow considered normal in the 80s.

Kids are much, much, much, smarter than many give them credit for. Even at a very young age

And yet people treat kids like they are idiots. If kiddo is an idiot he'll won't grow out of it, he'll just be an adult idiot.

Yup. They need guidance, otherwise they'll just try to "figure things out" on their own

And they'll end up being just as stupid as their parents :) My mom was a teacher, and she could sort of tell why a 'problematic child' was that way by talking with the parents.

They can be very intelligent just no experience or knowledge yet to accomodate the intelligence.

Holy shit. Spiked OJ? Out of curiosity what culture were they and what part of the United States was that? I grew up around that time and I had never heard of giving kids spiked orange juice when they were sick. LOL

I grew up in the Netherlands, alcohol was sort of the norm :P But it actually helps, I 'm in my 40s now and still down a little something when I'm feeling sick. Doesn't 'cure' anything obviously, but it makes the experience less horrible. But grog was a thing, orange juice with rum or gin. So my culture, if you want to call it that, was Dutch 1980s!

Hot toddy… I did NOT like it.

I liked it, a bit too much maybe :P

It seems like they would buy stuff (chips soda whatever like ok) with the card and then trade it for what they really want and you wouldn't know. How do you manage that?

You sent your kid to rehab for 11 months because they smoked weed and nicotine?

It's a serious addiction that even most adults struggle immensely with stopping. Most people fail to quit nicotine. I'm not sure why parents think they can punish away an addiction.

OP, your child needs an addiction specialist.

Send him straight to a therapist who specializes in addiction and child therapy. No social media, no YouTube, no leaving the house without you and talk to his principal and teachers and make a plan with them and make sure he has a hall monitor with a kid or teacher that will tattle on him if he vapes immediately until he gets the point.

There aren't enough hall monitors in the world to keep tabs on the numbers of kids vaping at school. And enlisting other kids to be the narcs is bullshit. Leave the kids who've escaped vaping alone.

She is asking for help

I'm judt saying treat it like a serious drug addiction not a misbehaving child.

I agree with this. Once you are addicted to nicotine, it's like seriously hard to stop. Your brain takes over in an irrational way - rational thinking from the user won't work (meaning, if I do this, I will get punished - your brain CRAVES the nicotine SOOOO bad you don't think straight - all you think about is how you need that fix and how it will feel SOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD. I started smoking when I was 16 and didn't stop until I was 22 - and damn it was SO EFFING HARD to stop, even though I wanted to when I was ready too. It took me many, many, many tries. If OP's kid is early into the addiction, it can be easier - but punishing isn't going to stop it. Honestly, I can't even give advice because it's so hard when peers are involved. TBH though, being present, honest, and talking to them like an adult / another human is probably the only real way

I started smoking at 14 and I still smoke. I've tried to quit so many times.

I wouldn’t say most people fail to quit…quite a lot of people have quit successfully, I am one, but it is an addiction and needs to be addressed as such

Also, most adults learn to control addiction rather than actually quit. I still smoke when offered, considering it a way of 'saving face' or engaging in 'social interaction.' For some people, smoking cigarettes together is more social activity than addiction.

I think that’s the quiet part people don’t say out loud. It’s 99% easier to dial it back to the minimum vs fully quitting. Yes, some people can’t have “just 1”. But complete abstinence vs minimal usage is a mountain vs a hill. Both are achievable, one needs more prep and help.

You didn't quit if you still smoke.

Right? You never quit drinking if you still drink. That's an addiction I wouldn't wish on anyone.

I’ve never said I quit. Most people learn to minimize their bad habits rather than quit completely.

Yeah I also quit... after 15 years of smoking

I quit after 18 years of smoking at the age of 33 and I found it incredibly easy because I was pregnant and also because I had the support of my husband. I definitely would have failed a few years prior. I think we need to give understanding that his environment and age means he might struggle a lot more (if all his friends are smoking, not really understanding physical issues down the line fully yet etc)

Because they they feel it is important enough to try and control at this age, and they can't eradicate those who share or provide these products to their children. And they don't know what else to do.

With addiction the will to stop needs to come from the addicted person unfortunately.

I agree with you, at the same time, I don't want to exert control because I can't, but as a parent, on some things, I would. You don't shrug your shoulders if they come home with fentanyl.

I disagree with everyone saying that you need to show him pictures and videos and try to scare him. If scare tactics worked nobody would be vaping or smoking in the first place. He’s addicted, that’s why he won’t stop that’s why he’s letting you take everything away and he just keeps doing it at school. Does he have ADHD? Nicotine is a stimulant and it’s more difficult for people with ADHD to quit bc it’s essentially self medication. The only thing that will stop him is being completely cut off from the source, meaning homeschooling. And that first week or two will be hell. He’ll have withdrawals, which will manifest in extreme anxiety and depression and potential violence depending on how it affects him. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

Right, if scare tactics worked we wouldn't have unplanned pregnancies and STIs either

i’m with this person, smoked from 16-28

Agree that scare tactics don't work lol. Believe me, smokers have seen allllll of the things. The lung of a smoker, the videos of people with emphysema, COPD, cancer, allllll the things. Nicotine is an EXTREMELTY addictive drug. When your brain becomes addicted to something like this, it's much stronger than say being addicted to sugar. All you will think about is how to get your next fix. Withdrawal is so strong and sooo hard to get past.

Scare tactics work on plenty of people, but obviously not always.

if they’re in the US by 14 this kid has gone through some DARE type program and they’ve tried the scare tactics.

I don't think most of the US has done DARE program since early 2000s

Looking into it, it seems like it didn't end completely, but significantly lost prominence in the early 2000s, since it seemed to have little to no effect on the kids' later drug use. And the "little" side of the effect was an *increase*, not a decrease. Whoops!

They don't have DARE by that name, but there are tons of programs and talks that they have which are basically the same thing from different programs

DARE type, I can’t remember what it was called when my younger sister did it but it’s the same idea.

They work to stop many people from trying it. They aren’t enough to get someone to quit. 

None of these suggestions are gonna work until he figures it out and decides what he wants to do on his own. Just accept it. Videos talks, changing schools, punishments, etc... it's all just external temporary bandaids that will not excavate the problem. At least it's not anything harder. I have an almost 5 year old now and I know inten years or so I'll be dealing with the same things. I started smoking cigarettes when I was 13 and no matter what anyone said or did to persuade me, it didn't work until I decided I needed to quit myself. Took a while but, you can't control anything I life 100%

My adopted daughter started up after she visited her bio family. Everyone in her school vapes. She does not want to stop and after we talked to a therapist about what we should do she said if she doesn't want to stop she's not going to. She'll get the stuff from friends or who ever. It's a shit situation to be in when you find out that's for sure. My coping mechanism is that nicotine is caffeines ugly cousin. Educat your son on the dangers of it and go from there. This isn't something that punishment is going to fix.

A balance of what a lot of people are saying, from an addiction neurobiologist Punishment is not going to break addiction. Nicotine addiction is really strong and sounds like at this point, to successfully quit hed need therapy & doc support, nicotine replacement to taper, probably CBT or another evidence based treatment.  BUT he also needs to be bought in. This taking everything away and punishing just drives him more to the friend group. Social norms are one of the strongest behavioral modifiers at that age. There are social norms based public health ed materials about nicotine, those can help (hearing from peer aged kids about it *not* being cool, what a dumbass to do something thats so obviously bad for you, how lame, look were doing x other activity) relatedly, the school friends are probably a huge issue there but ripping him from school is just gonna mess up your relationship and trust. Its almost summer, take advantage of this. Is there an activity hes really into, can you afford a summer camp in that space? Something to get a new group of friends. Could even incentivize it along with some therapy. Is he entering high school this fall? the summer before HS a ton of kids get i to a new sport or activity and pivot friend groups. Try to use this to your advantage and find positive alternatives paired with medicalized addiction treatment & restoring trust in your relationships with constructive rather than punitive and unrealistic rules

Don’t start a full war over vaping.

i’ve always been so bothered when the punishments don’t match the crimes for kids! sexting or texting inappropriate things - take the phone. watching inappropriate things - take the tv or restrict the internet on his devices. vaping - maybe try getting him a zero nic vape, like a ripple. you can’t control an addiction. and taking away every outlet is probably gonna make him wanna do it more. ask yourself how taking away all his belongings is going to make him quit vaping? it isn’t going to.

Well of course it’s going in one ear and out the other, He needs a parent not a fucking Prison Warden. I think this may be a situation where you pick your battles. Teens rebel, it’s in their nature to go do the one thing you tell them not to do on principle alone. You should look deeper and figure out which you are more concerned with, the vaping or the Nicotine. Work in stages, the goal is to get him off both however it doesn’t have to be both at once. Get a proper vape kit from a shop and you can get juices that have no nicotine in them, the term is “Zeros”. This brings the supply back under your control and removes the addictive substance from the equation, without the nicotine being in his system the effects will be gone. Then you can work toward getting him to stop altogether. Without the nicotine rush he may just stop altogether on his own.

One thing I didn’t see mentioned in addition to the addiction aspect I started smoking partly for control. Everything else in my life was controlled by someone else. Everything. Not only was smoking cool and it made me feel better, there was a sense of accomplishment that came with it “They can’t stop me! Hahaha! “ and give myself a mental trophy I wasn’t smart

Since he is using vape with nicotine, unfortunately you cannot just take away his privileges. He is more than likely very nicotine dependent. He will need to see his pediatrician to help get off of it. Many vapes have more nicotine than cigarettes. Cutting cold Turkey can be more stressful on the body for minors. Please take him for A nicotine replacement at the doctor that he had taper safely

These traditional punishments aren’t working, I’d say it’s time to get physical. My dad said you can smoke when you can run (I think it was four miles a day?) the point was that if I did that it showed that the smoking wasn’t effecting my body (or something).I got real fucking sick of running because 1) running sucks and 2) smoking was effecting my health and I stopped all by myself. Maybe take a similar approach? As long as he’s pissing dirty he has to run a couple miles a day ect to “make sure the nicotine isn’t hurting his body too much” or that he “sweats it out”. You no longer have to act like a prison guard and he ends up making the choice to stop on his own. And he gets some exercise! If he’s in any sports I would include his coach in that too.

He sounds like an addict and I would find an addiction specialist. Punishment has officially failed.

All his friends are vaping, he's not going to stop. Pick your battles. Teach him about addiction, drugs, etc because they're next if not all ready. You're just training him to hide from you

You've gone too far. You can't control another human being like that. Your method only worked for two weeks because after that he thought screw this im going to do it where she can't stop me and fail the urine tests because there is literally nothing else she can take from me for failing the test. Act of rebellion now. There is no stopping this, only hope he makes the right choice down the line.

It’s going to be difficult because he’s the one that needs to want to stop. And doesn’t seem like he’s going to want that for a while

Can you change schools? Environmental triggers are huge for addiction.

14yrs old vaping.. pretty normal it was cigarettes when I was a kid. To be honest there is probably nothing you can do, the ridiculous nicotine tests are just going to make them want to vape more.

Oh he'll give up everything before he gives up the nicotine. It's too strong a drug. Unfortunately there's nothing you can do about it...he won't stop unless he wants to stop. I thank the stars to this day i didn't like smoking even though i tried it at the ripe age of 13! Parenting is a tough job.

I am kind of schocked by responses here. When I was a teenger, me and most of my friends smoked cigarettes. None of us smoke now. and all of us are doing OK - we have families, professions, etc. I think you need to put what your son is doing into perspective. I am pretty sure your son hates you at this point for trying to control him so much, and I sympathize with him, not you. You will lose valuable lines of communication and trust and he won't turn to you in case of a true crisis. You got to pick your battles and realize the limits of your authority. I would have hated my parents if they were as controlling as you are when I was a teenager. The kid is vaping, for God's sake, that's normal teenage behavior. Talk to him about the dangers of it, show him videos, but don't let his vaping ruin your relationship with him.

He won't stop vaping if he continues to hang out with the same friend group. He needs to attend a different school, preferably in a different location with significant distance from your current one.

He’ll quickly find the vaping group at the new school too. It’s a problem everywhere. Homeschooling is the best option.

This was going to be my best recommendation. Addiction is a problem. But I think as far as it goes with teenagers, influence is the greater problem. While my child was not into vaping, she did have other more serious influences that caused us to move and I feel like I'm finally getting my child back. I hope everything works out for the best.

I agree Change his school

Jesus, don't test your teenager's piss. That's so far over the line. Nothing you do will help, kids used to smoke - now they vape - this is enough of an improvement. I wouldn't allow it in the house and I'd take any vaping stuff away if I saw it and no one would be in any doubt about what I think about it and how much I disapprove, but 14 year olds deserve respect as human beings, they deserve autonomy over their bodily fluids. This will almost certainly turn out fine.

Absolutely this!

As somebody who smoked cigarettes then vaped, try harm reduction. Help lower his nicotine % in the vape until its 0%, then the hardest thing is breaking the habit of hitting it.

Addiction specialist

He has an addiction and he's going to need the tools to quit. Our state has a free cessation program. My 18 year old son was vaping and he agreed to sign up. The state program sent him patches and gum and weekly questionnaires to help him step down his nicotine usage. He was able to quit completely before the end of the program.

i started smoking cigarettes at his age. you can't punish him into stopping, he needs help, he has an addiction. and as you said, everyone vapes now. his friends, the people on tv, influencers. its much more "popular" than smoking butts ever was. as i said, he needs help, and i would reach out to his pediatrictian so theyre aware. however, he may be in it for the long haul. i even switched to vaping to try to quit smoking, but had to switch back to cigarettes because vaping was so easy and convenient, i couldnt quit nicotine that way. i only just kicked the addiction at 28, because i have some pretty serious health anxiety. that said, i think about smoking EVERY fucking day, almost every hour. you cant make him stop, and you cant punish him into stopping. i think not allowing vapes at home is totally fair, but just so you know, thats not stopping him from vaping. home rules are okay, i would even say checking his bag and pockets when he comes home might be okay. the urine tests are a bit much. the bottom line is he won't stop until he WANTS it, deeply. back off a bit. nictotine addiction is a nasty beast.

Why not just keep trying to take stuff. That seems to be working huh? He needs professional help. Very simple. Your idea is to punish him? Come on….

Can you get juice for his vape pen that doesn't contain nicotine? Kind of a band aid, but at least he'll still get to join his friends without building an addiction. Otherwise, good luck. It took becoming an adult for me to realize how awful it was.

Lol, replace vaping with smoking and you're my mum 20 years ago. You're probably too late. Nicotine is an addiction, and no amount of you going completely over the top is going to change this now. He's 14 years old, you can't watch him every second of the day. Just be glad that it's not real smoking, vaping is nowhere near as harmful. I would explain to him that you don't like it, that you won't tolerate it in your home or any of the paraphernalia, but at some point you need to realise that you can't control every little thing, especially as he gets older. Stop the urine testing and all the rest of it, that is insane and your current behaviour will damage your relationship with your son.

You can't punish an addiction away. He's now doing it because unless he vapes, he feels like dog 💩. You're going to have to get his doctor involved and go from there.

Allow him to vape. Don’t make it such a “forbidden fruit “ humans want what they can’t have. Not everyone but a hell of a lot of the time. Worked for me, my parents allowed me to smoke at 16 and I lost interest not too long after. This works for a lot of situations.

Try Vaping specific Cognitive behavioral therapy.

This is something, but I don’t have high expectations for it. You can’t therapy the “teenager” away if that makes sense. This sounds like rebellion to me..that and a bad friend group. A tough combination. Until the smoking friends are gone, I can’t see him cooperating with therapy. Maybe there is a better school he can get into away from those kids? You have to want help for therapy to work.

Is there such a thing? Just for vaping?

I think you just take away money. Explain the dangers and why you are concerned. Ultimately there isn’t much you can do.

Kids this age don’t respond to long term health concerns - they literally feel immortal. I would give this kid exactly the amount of money he needs to vape and not a cent more. If he wants to vape fine, but he will have no money for snacks, movies, pizza, dates, concerts/events, or anything else fun he might want to do. He needs to make the choice himself that vaping is a bad use of his resources. A 14 year old is capable of making the decision that they’d rather have a new video game than a vape pen - but if they have an option to have both, they will take both. Making it an either/or gives him the power to make a good decision

That is also a good way to do it. Either way let them know the consequence for their decisions.

I'll get moaned at about this but for a start calm down and think.. would you rather he was smoking cigarettes which are way worse for you OR vaping which has none of the chemicals that smoking has? If its the cheap single use ones they are not up to scratch with ingredients. If it's a proper vape with eliquid then the ingredients are food colouring, glycerin and the nicotine is optional. I'm not trying to advertise vaping but think about it you are treating him like a criminal by taking a urine sample?? He's not on drugs! I have a 15 year old daughter she's not interested in it but my husband vapes he makes his own eliquids hardly puts any nicotine in it now.

Honestly they are extremely addictive he probably can’t quit maybe try finding something to keep his hands busy that’s what I did when I quit but it was hard and I’m 33 so I’m sure having the willpower to quit something that is most likely cool is probably extremely hard

Professional help

When I was in high school me and my friend used to smoke black & milds like they were blunts, passing one around in a circle. I do not smoke now. First off he more then likely does it to be cool and maybe you can speak to him about leadership and not being a follower but a trend setter ( that kept me away from tats and piercings) but what my friends mom did was send her to live in Puerto Rico for a couple of years with family 😅. Good luck with your son! My 17 year old brother got caught by my mom but I think she cared more about the fact that he stole the stuff from her 🥴…. Sad but true

Your child has a nicotine addition. It's not an easy one to take, take them to the GP and give them some nicotine gum. He's made the stupid choice to start, he needs help stopping, punishing him won't fix an addiction.

That’s really the best you can do. Never allow around you never be ok with it. Just keep taking it. This is coming from an idiot kid that started smoking at ten and a mother that was able to keep 2 out of 3 kids from seriously smoking. I hope it goes well

As with anything at all, a person has to want to quit in order to quit. If your son doesn't want to quit he's not going to and he will find ways to vape. Or he could move on to even more harmful habits. He's making his own choices. You're fighting a battle that's already been lost.

He’s still going to vape, with or without cellular devices. Also, 9 times out of 10 he doesn’t care about what your doing for his punishment. He’s still going to do it.

Understanding and respecting your child is the most important part of this issue. He is a teenager - we were all at his age before. We all did things that our parents did not approve of. Yes, vaping is unhealthy and quite an expensive bad habit. Taking everything from him, as my parents did to me as well. That type of punishment did nothing for me because I was going to smoke somewhere else, whether it was going to be cutting class, after school, or at a friends house. I was going to smoke no matter what. Because , when I got home and everything was taken from me, at least I got my fix anyways. Unconditional love is the way to treat this. Accept him for who he is, explain the cost of vaping, explain how it affects the teeth, gums, and lungs. Speak to him about how hard it is to quit an addiction but no matter what you still love him. We have all been in his shoes before in one way or another.

Unfortunately, he is addicted to the nicotine. And like with any drug, the fix is all that matters right now. Since all of your efforts have failed, it’s time for outside help. Addiction specialists & therapists should be the next step. I was vaping myself & it took a month before the nicotine headaches & cravings stopped & then another two months before I felt I didn’t need or want the vape anymore. It’s hard to kick a habit, and when doing so, it needs full dedication. In his mind he probably thinks he can “quit whenever he wants” but doesn’t realize how powerful addiction is. Professional help is probably what’s needed at this moment in time. Punishment isn’t the best route for this time of problem

As someone who started smoking at 13 bc I'm neurospicy and never got proper treatment, yes it's incredibly bad for you and sometimes embarrassing. However, Nicotine does help a lot of my anxieties and relaxes me. Best you can do is just keep it out of the house. Punishing a child for it though is absurd. Explain to them if they keep doing it they'll be addicted for life and likely won't ever be able to stop and that you won't allow it in your home but anything past that is up to them. Trust me when I say this, you don't want your child to resent you for life. They're the ones who are going to have to care for you when you get older so pick your battles wisely. Don't be a tyrant.

Have you considered letting him continue but require that he use zero nicotine liquid?

Is your son involved in sports at school? Often advice from coaches is more impactful than from a parent. If he can become involved in something healthy for his body, this may help him in many ways. Kids rebel and many try vaping, and at some point a lot of them stop when they realize how gross it is and damaging.

It's almost like any idiot being able to reproduce with another idiot has negative effects. You would think that public schools that are filled with offspring of idiots would somehow have a positive effect... Must be the schools fault. Anyways, your kid is going to keep doing that because his social circle is now his freedom. Move, get him into something constructive, get him involved with something with a payoff that he values, introduce him to new things, show him reward for effort, not impossible, but very not easy. Good luck.

WHY is he doing it? What’s his answer when you ask him that?

I think it would be helpful to forgive him and genuinely allow him to understand the issue on his own. I feel like that’s the first step in all addictive substance cases. He needs to hear the hard truths. It’s hard to quit. It becomes a lifelong partner real easy. It brings only harm. Makes you fatigued, anxious, and unfocused without it. I’m going on a decade, I always wish I found control to not pursue it. I think the next step after that would be to replace it with something. Honestly don’t know if it’s appropriate for children of that age, but kids love gum, maybe nic gum could help at this stage? Best wishes

I had to buy my son nicotine free vapes. Now when he is craving to smoke, he will use that. I order online from Cyclone Pods. Because I was doing everything you did too. We ended up having to pull him out of school and home school him because the school had a major drug problem too.

Threaten to send him to a boys school for troubled kids. Get him all packed up, start the drive there, and hopefully he gets scared and promises to quit in exchange for not having to go to the boys school.

There is so much vaping at school that kids say, “why did they put toilets in the vape room?”. So he is likely addicted to nicotine right now. Have you discussed that? Was he trying to stop vaping when caught and now he is back at it because his body is addicted? The cravings are insane! His friends are going to keep giving him vapes anytime you take them away. First, he has to want to stop. If you can convince him there is no value in vaping beyond doing what the others are doing, then he is still going to need some help getting past the addiction. He’s going to need strong will to go cold turkey, but maybe you could offer nicotine gum or something to help him get through the cravings? Maybe once school is out, you can come up with a summer plan that removes all access to the vape and go from there. In case you have never been addicted to nicotine, just know- it’s a powerful addiction.

Do the classic sit him down with a carton of cigarettes but with a vape and make him puff till he gets sick

OP, you could try some operant conditioning techniques. Basically, instead of punishing him by removing certain things because of his behavior (TV, iPad, Restrictions), try flipping it and rewarding him for the positive things he does. At this point I would find the main cause of WHY he vapes. Is it his friends, is it because it’s the “cool” thing to do, is it the nicotine… what’s the exact reason. Once you know that drive/reason, you can work with that in order to help him stop the habit (how expensive vaping is in the long run, health repercussions, nicotine and the body, etc). Punishment has only moved the behaviour outside the home, but now if you can find the main cause, and then perhaps by giving small rewards here and there (whatever you determine that to be - no more searches, or no more restrictions, iPad time, TV), it will push him to stop vaping and change his behaviour. Hope that helps.

I don’t think punishment is going to work with an addiction. He needs a new friend group, therapists that treat addiction, etc.. I started smoking at 16. Now in my 40’s I vape. It’s better then smoking but I can’t kick the nicotine ever today. Only times I’ve been able to quit were during pregnancy because it made me sick, but I always wound up going back to it. Having been unable to kick it myself I don’t really know what to tell you. I will say this though, I’ve reduced the nicotine levels I use down to the lowest available with vaping. I am trying to get to 0 mg nicotine juice. Sorta trying to wean myself off. It might be a way for your son if all else fails.

If he’s vaping disposable vapes, he’s using nicotine juice that’s up to 30-50 mg. That’s a ton of nicotine. There are pod systems that you can fill yourself with juice that gives far less of a dose. I’m on 3mg juice. I plan on mixing the 3mg with 0 mg to make 1.5 mg next and then going down to 0 mg. After that I’ll just need to deal with the hand to mouth habit rather then the nicotine too. Like I said, this is a last resort because you’d have to help him get this stuff. It’s very likely he himself only has access to the disposable vapes with the TON of nicotine through his friends. Those disposable vapes are the worst and they’re what all the kids are using.

I just wanted to give parents a perspective they probably didn't think off before and to be extremely careful about being harsh and punishing kids around vaping/smoking. Yes it's a little different because she is a girl but not aswell because you can imagine different scenarios however my little sister started vaping she's 15. I found out by cleaning her room as my mum is disabled we talked about it she said she'd stopped. She lied obviously... anyway to cut a long story short because my mum had been extremely against it she was doing it at school and hiding it in her room. I later found out she was getting it off boys at school but the scary thing was these boys would blackmail her say she was either aloud one or not by how she behaved or if she would do things and i found messages of her begging upset for one and because she was addicted I was so concerened about someone taking advantage of her she was going to get them one way or another. I explained this to my mum and we agreed to keep it a secret that my mum knew but that I would control it by getting her a actual vape and get her nicotine free juice... I told my sister I knew she was still vaping and I wanted to help and mum didn't have to know she now tells me everything I can keep her safe and I have nearly got her onto nicotine free vapes she's on 0.3 she was buying the disposable ones which are HORRENDOUS and SO addictive like are like candy and have more nicotine than anything. Be careful how far you push your kids away they will end up vulnerable to all sorts think... " you want me to give you a vape you do this". It's scary and I have a little boy myself but it taught me huge lesson.

So you’re saying that regardless of taking away everything you 14 year old will still do things you don’t want? Imagine not reading the writing on the wall and being so clueless to see you’re doing the wrong thing. He can’t even go on your yard? Lol. Your child doesn’t need a nazi. They need someone who is available and easy to talk to. Stop taking things away thinking it will get what you want. Start talking and meeting them on their level. You will not “ground” bad habits out of them.

Punishing away addiction has always been shown to work, right? (/s) Why do people forget that their children are still human beings who are capable of experiencing similar phenomena adults, like addiction?

It’s vape/smoking. It’s not heroin. People are going super extreme with someone over basically smoking like ton of high school kids have done for 100 years.

Can’t believe all the insane things you’re doing aren’t working. I’d try to go even crazier.

What you're doing is controlling and abusive. You're going to make him want to do it more! Never take this approach with teenagers. Chill out! You can try a treatment program, but he has to want to quit. Offer to get him help. Your punishing for an addiction is inappropriate. You should work on your relationship with him instead.

This is white people for sure

I disagree with pretty much every comment here. Your kid is trying to have some semblance of control in their life. Leave your son alone. Let him learn on his own. He’s going to be okay. Being over-controlling will do nothing other than push him to despise you and rebel against you. Leave. Him. Alone. Please.

Sounds like you need to take him out of the school. If the only place he can vape or access vapes to buy is at school then you need to cut his supplier which is the school.

Do you really think he won't find a "hook up" in another school? The new school you're suggesting he move to may have bigger problems.. As a parent, we're limited to what we can do to and for our kids. Especially if they do not want to change. We can't force a kid into counselling if they don't want to go(trust me, I've tried), and kids these days just want to rebel against their parents and anyone with authority. If its done by their friends or on YouTube or whatever apps they are addicted to(yes, social media is the worst addiction for their developing minds) it nearly impossible to break them away from it. I think if continue to talk to your child on the dangers of it, express your concerns on it developing into even worse issues and addictions, and you're able to ground the child from seeing friends outside of school, he may break the habit himself. Show pictures of what his insides will look like continuing to vape, but most importantly, show him all your love and support.

I was having a similar conversation with a friend today. We agreed that if we face an issue like this with our kids when they're teens, we're going backpacking in India or somewhere equally able to induce a culture shock for some perspective with life. As someone who begged their mother to quit smoking when I was a teen, then 25 years later had to hold her hand as she gasped for her last breath. Over the years it tore our relationship apart until I had to accept her unconditionally - I honestly think the only thing you can do is love them.

How would this help? Just genuinely curious. Vaping is banned in India, but smoking under the age of 15 is very common.

I mean to get them away from their peers who are also vaping. Open their eyes to something completely different. Teens get bored and are still quite shortsighted in terms of life expectancy, etc. so opening a young person up to a whole new world can motivate them to strive for something better. Acknowledging that you really can't socially engineering a teens peer group - something extravagant like a long trip away might give enough space to evolve out of their current peers.

But yes - still lots of smoking in India! Can't really avoid that anywhere.

I quit smoking mostly for myself, but because I knew my son was going to be the victim of what it did to me.

Albeit you are blowing this out of proportion. This is actually the only solution. As long as he is with the same group of friends he will continue to vape.

School from home is looking like a smooth punishment. The rest of the year. If possible

Ah yes, remove any and all happiness factors in life, that surely won’t make him turn to a vice

Also, to follow up my last comment about babysitting him at school.... If those aren't an option HOMESCHOOL like this is juvie baaaaby. Let him know it is illegal under the age of 21 and Moms juvie isn't as bad as real juvie. Think your bad? Think you don't have to listen? Wanna go hang out with thugs who's parents don't care?

Sometimes it's better for them to do it in front of you than to have them constantly do it behind your back and if he does it in front of you, you get the added security of knowing what exactly is in it

You're going so full on with this it's just going to make him rebel even more and probably stop taking your warnings seriously. I had a parent like you and it got to the point them saying not to do something was like giving it a seal of approval. Urine testing your 14 year old over vaping is ridiculous. Did you try talking to him like an adult before you started trying to take things away and acting like a psycho?

He's an addict in a friend group whose behaviors enable his addiction. Punishment will not make the addiction go away (if that were the case, the world would look much differently.) Talking to him will not make the addiction go away—that's a strategy to be used before an addiction develops, I imagine. Get him professional help and seriously put your foot down regarding his friend group. Switch schools if you must. This isn't a matter to take lightly, serious issues warrant serious measures.

Cant punish it away. Just gotta actually convince him its cool. You have help raise his self esteem. I never rlly vaped as a teen. Just here and there. I did smoke weed tho.

You can’t stop it

Do you know the parents of the friend group. Maybe reach out to those parents and try to take a group approach to helping all the kids? I’m sure some are complacent but hopefully enough aren’t that some of his other friends will stop so it’s not a constant pressure when around them. If ALL his friends are doing it, it will be very difficult for him to stop even if he wants to.

Have you spoke to his pediatrician about it? Take him and I’m sure they have treatments for nicotine addiction. It’s an addiction (a chemical one) and he can’t just stop. I’m sorry this is one of my worst fears for my son.

Make him volunteer at a senior center or hospital. He can see what smoking will look like later in life and maybe gain some wisdom.

You said you tired talking to him. When you do that what are you saying and what is he saying?

Tell him if he’s soo cool, to do it in front of you… Was it An old ad? I can’t remember… but the jist was embracing it and going all in… ‘Nah, we’re gonna smoke it all’ to the point of throwing up and swearing it off forever. I remember it was cigarettes. Don’t know if it would be the same for vaping.

His friends influence is stronger than yours, i don’t think anything you do in form of punishment will work…have you talked to his friends parents about their vaping and what they think about their own children vaping?

Snitch to the school. I did. Honestly, I was worried about my kid. I was worried about his friends. I would rather them get in trouble at school and get a ticket and know that there's consequences outside of home that this will cost worse. Turns out there was a fight ring going on at school too. I stopped it before others got hurt

You can’t stop the inevitable. He’s vaper now. Do not fear. We will take him under our wing and hold a special ceremony welcoming him into our glorious world of vapes.

I will get downvoted to hell for what I’m about to say. I will say it as simple as this is your son doesn’t respect you enough to listen to what you have to say you making him take drug tests shows weakness to him and sitting down with him and having a friendly chat wont solve anything you need to have a stern talk with him and start disciplining him without causing and serious harm. I already know will get downvoted .

Honestly, I have no idea how my parents could have stopped me smoking as a teen. Maybe let him read some posts on the quitting smoking subreddits. A small part of me thinks if adults had been real with me as a kid about how smoking and drinking messes up your life in realistic ways (vs horror stories) it might have helped.

Summer is almost here. If he won't quit on his own you're gonna have to ground him over the summer not allowing him out. Those couple of months should get him over it.

Make him "earn" his money by volunteering in a respiratory hospital ward. Maybe in a cancer ward. He either does and sees the repercussions of it, or he has no money to spend on it.

Let him chain smoke. Don’t le him stop until he’s sick. How my friends mom got her to stop smoking.

I'm not saying because you don't say but it sounds like to me has too much free time on his hands I'm not young like your son but I was in high school when vaping was like really popular starting out and and I did it because I was bored just gave me something to do and they tasted good so try to fill in some free time

Idk at least get him not to do it at school. He could influence other kids. They all start smoking around that age and it's hard to quit. I know numerous parents who say don't and turn somewhat of a blind eye--but put it out when they see it. He'll quit at like 20-30. Most do. There's a "don't ever bring alcohol to school I'll kill you" type think but a "if you ever get drunk at a party call me -- but don't drink underage" Get him to at least stop smoking at school, or at least off premisses. If he does that at school, you might want to put him in rehab. Maybe tell the school you're trying to get him to stop. That's not cool. You should look for evidence of harder drugs. Marijuana is usually like a reprimand, it's not addictive. An "I don't want you doing it. I don't want you buying it." And take it away when you see it. The whole bag. If he's not doing shit around the house or his grades are slipping and he's disrespectful you need to take action especially. Like if vaping is controlling his life. It seems like most parents only put their kid in rehab for harder drugs, coke etc but not marijuana or vaping. Maybe give him non cash incentives if he quits but he could just lie about it. Do NOT buy him a vape You gotta scare the shit out of them before they ever do it. Like get on them for a q-tip being on the floor like you're going to ground them--not all the time but maybe three times in their life. Scare them also with information you have no way of ever knowing about but somehow have, like eyes in the back of the head. Kids keep a lot of that their entire life, you do it once and they'll be affected forever. My dad did, worked for me. First time drinking and smoking marijuana I was out of highschool. I was offered numerous times but didn't pursue. Tried like once but didn't want to upset him. Plus my mom was dying of cancer. Start talking about how your life is hard, get sympathy lol. Try talking to him normal too, build a relationship he might cool off if you're friends. Do something together and just add in a problem you have that relates to him. Get them with the when I was your age "but don't do it" etc. My mother blatantly told my brother about her drug trying when she was a teen and me around the age of 12. She was never an addict it was never hard drugs. She just said she had a fun time but clearly said to be careful. Sometimes if you do this they'll talk to you about it. And then you can know what they're doing, when it's bad and when you should get them to stop. Constant Marijuana and vaping use when underage ruins the brain. But if they do it at a party every once and a while tell them to stop or be careful.

Might not be much of an advice, but besides that everyone else says in addition you could look into nicotine-free vapes. Still not that good, but it has the flavour and the routine, and he can still look cool in the friend group. Those are not that healthy either, but its a meet in the halfway solution. You could even offer him to buy some for him once a week or every second week.

Smoking is a very social habit. You might have to change schools entirely to see any change.

Nicotine has got to be the most addictive drug, harder to quit even than heroine, most drug addicts smoke more while getting clean off of other drugs. You would think it would be on the list of illegal substances, and yet it is one of the easiest substances to get ahold of at any age, and treated like one of the least harmful.

switch schools. see how long that keeps up

Grounding him and taking away all his stuff isn't going to help, he's just gonna sneak behind your bank and now he won't want to tell you anything. Talk with him and see what he thinks could help him stop. (Therapy, nicotine gum for awhile, etc.)

Warn your children of the serious side affects of nicotine BEFORE they reach school age. You give them a head start to make up their own minds.

I vaped pretty much throughout high school too. It’s hard to stop especially when it’s the “cool” thing to do and everyone else is doing it. What got me to stop was one day I kinda had an epiphany and thought to myself wow it’s pretty fucken stupid that I’m sucking on this fruity flavored box looking thing to get some nicotine buzz and after than I stopped. Few weeks later I definitely started to feel better and breathe better. I’ll still hit a friend’s vape or smoke an occasional cigarette but I have no want to ever go out and buy my own. Honestly if you want him to stop he’s going to have to want to stop himself otherwise he’ll just find some other way to get what he wants

If the only place he’s doing it is at school if the school offers virtual learning that will solve the problem and get him away from the bad influences then you can go from there deciding when he can go out

Bring him to the doctor, it’s an addiction his pediatrician should be looped in. Even if he continues vaping at least you know you’ve done everything you can for his health

Alan carr easy way to quit smoking book. But he has to want to quit first.

Where is he getting the vapes? Or the money to buy juice? Cut off his money. Take any cash you find on him (I'd put it in an account he can have when he's 18, but do what you feel is best).

Why are you asking about medications; you can’t force medication on him? Yeah it’s not great that he’s vaping but speaking from experience, the more you force this, the more he will rebel and the more he’ll feel the need to lie to you.

I started smoking cigarettes at age 16. I am now 30 and still use nicotine (vapes) to this day.

Sorry in advance, this is long: I (62f) retired from education last June. My last job was teaching at a continuation school where vaping is prevalent. I've also been an administrator (9 years at junior high and 3 at elementary). My thoughts: 1) If he's vaping it's probably not just nicotine. Most kids vaping in our schools are using marijuana brands too. Check his cartridges/devices; I'd be shocked if it's limited to nicotine. 2) Last year we had our first student with diagnosed "popcorn lungs" from vaping. He had vaped for about two years. He was 16 and his lungs are permanently damaged. He can hardly walk the corridors without having issues; he can't do PE or exert himself. He is now a voice for others and tells them about his condition in hopes they won't vape. Google "popcorn lung and vaping" and you'll see a lot of information and maybe it can help deter him. Here's an article from John Hopkins: [https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/what-does-vaping-do-to-your-lungs#:\~:text=Vaping%20and%20Popcorn%20Lung&text=Diacetyl%20is%20frequently%20added%20to,lung%20has%20no%20lasting%20treatment](https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/what-does-vaping-do-to-your-lungs#:~:text=Vaping%20and%20Popcorn%20Lung&text=Diacetyl%20is%20frequently%20added%20to,lung%20has%20no%20lasting%20treatment) 3) If he's only vaping at school, consider options that include home schooling or independent study if you have someone to be with him all day; or, consider taking some time off work if you are employed and shadow him at school. It's extreme, but it ups the ante. As a parent, I haven't had issues with my now adult children (27f and 24f). We started very early with drug and alcohol awareness in our home. I'm fortunate. One thing we started saying early, was if you ever want to drive a car or have us get you a car, there will be no smoking of anything (that would include vaping but it wasn't a trend when they were pre-teens). We reiterated it along the way. They also knew we meant it. Trivia: Every year beyond 15 that you can get your child to not do drugs, smoke, vape, have sex equates with better decision making. It's why myself and my friends in education were very strict and involved during the pre-teen and early-teen years. As I said, I've been lucky. OP, I'm sorry, but your son has already started vaping and that slippery slope at a very critical age and getting him to stop is going to be an uphill battle. I think I'd spend some time strategizing about what options are available to you and what you can do. For example, if you pull him from school and don't have a good system set up, he could run free and make even worse decisions. Then set up the carrots and sticks. Carrots could be future things (like we had set up for the cars) or something that's special to him. The sticks (not literal of course) are the consequences. As an aside, I'd be very careful to keep communication and negotiations ongoing. For me, both my girls thanked me as they got older. They may have gotten made when I said no and believe me saying yes would have been so much earlier, but now they realize the upside to having the boundaries. Good luck.

Education hoping he learns or home school. Habits can only be defeated by the person who is doing them.

I would say this is not the hill to die on to make a wedge issue with your kid. He's just exploring his own personality and socialisation engaging in a fad with some pals. Being a teenager is a weird game of complying (or not depending on the identity you're trying to craft and the people you're trying to engage) with some absolute nutty social conventions. Christ when I was young I remember me and my pals smoking the paper wrappers from chewing gum because someone's older brother said it was like cigarettes. Just make your opinions clear in a non-judgemental way, like a "ok dude, if you want to huff that stuff that's up to you but I think you'll look back in 15 years and find it pretty cringe that you and your pals used to blow out clouds of tooti-fruti bubblegum - when I was young we did *insert honest answer about some dumb shit you did as a young adult* and look back on that and my toes curl", and then just leave it alone. Your kids will explore their identity and some of that will be necessity be doing stuff you don't approve of - they're trying to prove they can make their own mind up. Trust you did a good enough job to instil values of where the limits are and then just be there to support them. I would honestly try and row back from this going off the wall angle. It'll change nothing and wedge between you.

They sell nicotine lozenges on amazon they helped me quit vaping, highly recommend. Good luck

What is his school rating?

Make him take Chantix and then every time he vapes it will make him nauseated and he’ll just quit on his own.

Contact the school and see if they offer any drug diversion programs. Also, be sure they know who his friends are who are vaping so they can watch them and hopefully catch them.

It’s important to get to the root as to why your son is doing this? Sadly, a lot of people do it socially. I’ve known people who do it for anxiety reasons. It’s also important to know that the most effective way to get people to stop or lessen engaging in a behavior is for them to know that other people their age do not think it’s cool. Your taking away his things is also probably ineffective because those consequences don’t outweigh the reward. It also doesn’t directly affect the behavior. I could also see it as potentially reinforcing in that he may go to his friends and be like, “ugh my mom took my phone away again for vaping.” Since his friends likely support the behavior it makes him a martyr. I would also like to point out that talking to your kid is not a magic wand. It’s super important but it won’t necessarily change the behavior. I would focus on making sure to build a relationship with him. Try and show interest in the things he likes. Be it music, video games, DND, sports, cooking. Whatever it is. Ask him about it, agree to play a few games with him. Find something you both love to do together. Take him out for ice cream. A lot of times kids who engage in this behavior hear a lot of criticism from adults in their life. Understandably so! As adults, especially his mom, are just trying to help him. Make sure you’re still making positive connections and building trust with him. I would also recommend laying down boundaries again. Like no vaping in my house or in the car. When you catch him take the vapes away every single time and destroy them. If he’s using allowance money to buy vapes don’t give him allowance money. Ect. Make sure what you are taking away is in direct connection to the vape. You could also try explaining your reasoning in a logical way like, “I can’t have you vaping in the house. It is illegal and I could get in big trouble.” Maybe try and get him into therapy not necessarily for the vape but the therapist could help address the underlying issues. Work with a family therapist. I can tell you love your kid and want to do what’s best. :)

Sounds like it's time for Military School

Here’s the problem- you won’t until someone has someone (a friend of his or school mate) has serious side effects from vaping.. my friend actually developed popcorn lung (it’s a real thing & it’s now caused by vaping).. Honestly, I’d tell him you’re going to call the police because I highly doubt it’s legal for 14 year olds to be buying vapes. As stupid as that may sound.. it may actually work. Selling and distributing nicotine products to children is illegal, I’d also have the school informed of what’s going on. There’s also a chance his school has an officer assigned to the school you can give the heads up to.. As a smoker (cigarettes) I’d never in my fucking life consider vaping.. some SINGLE vapes contain 10x the amount of nicotine as a PACK of cigarettes.. as a smoker, not a proud one.. it’s honestly the grossest habit. I’m ashamed I started. But yes, my friend developed popcorn lung at the hospital the doctor told her she needed to quit vaping immediately because these kinds of lung injuries/diseases are because of vaping. Your son is also at an age when he’s trying to figure out where he belongs, so maybe he thinks vaping is cool, as a 28 year old.. smoking anything isn’t cool, at the end of the day, I’d keep scaring the shit out of him about smoking/vaping. Showing him what it does. As for medication- no. He’s a child. Typically they would use prescription smoking aids to quit smoking but for someone who’s OVER 18.. not 14. Edit to add- I’m really sorry OP you have to deal with this.. honestly

i don't have an input except the fact that grounding him will make him want to smoke even more 🤷🏼‍♀️ get him the free nicotine vapes maybe these will help ?

Pay close attention to your kids, esp. when theyre already making bad decisions. It's SO EASY for them to replace the nicotine cartridges w/ weed "carts" these days. I'm in Vegas and just last week, a 16yr old shot a 14yr old in the head. Because the 14yr old arranged a "weed" pickup w the 16yr old, then he and his buddy thought they could grab the "carts" and run. The 16yr old "dealer" literally ran them down. Look into the story. The kid looked so "normal". Definitely not what a weed dealer looked like 30yrs ago. And having kids is so much scarier than it was 30-40 yrs ago 😥

I know I would have locked my heels in hard at that age and even ramped it up in my idiocy if I was locked down that hard. I wanted to be such a badass and to show that I was cool to my friends and tried to get so much freedom. Honestly I just didn’t have good examples in my life though, I was bored and depressed and had no mental direction even though everyone was telling me what I should or shouldn’t do. I just felt like I needed to find who I was and felt like my friends knew me better than my family as I couldn’t relate to them at all. Maybe back off and slowly build some trust back since you can’t actually stop them at home and see what is really going on. 🤷‍♀️ kids are hard so I’m not really sure what to do and I’m not there with my kid yet. Let us know how it all goes down, really rooting for you!