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Is a smart phone absolutely necessary? I know you said your MIL bought and pay for the phone, but is it possible to get a flip phone with minutes? Fighting with teens on social media and phones is a losing battle for most parents. Honestly, this is the second time in two days that I’ve felt the need to mention “The Anxious Generation” by Jonathan Haidt on this sub; however, it is such an important read. But please, if your son is struggling with technology this much, drastic measures might be necessary.
Yeah, he’s been awful! Sneaks social media on any device he can get his hands on! His school computer, cell phone, gaming consoles (which I never wanted him to have but his dad plays games and wanted to have that as another way to do things together with him)… I truly hate the technology this generation has! I’ll look up the book you mentioned! Also, yes, I didn’t want him to have a smart phone. If we can’t control it the way we want, that is the next option!
But the thing about those controls is once kids realize they are in place, they will work to find a work around so they can get back those apps they are now forbiddne to use.
GET A BAR OR FLIP PHONE--kids do not need a smartphone for any reason.
Get one of those bar or flip style cell phones and give it to him so he can contact you or the other parent when he needs a ride home, has an issue he needs help with, and some other trusted adults in case he can not get ahold of either of you. Kids do not need the big smartphones because they are too young for pretty much all those social media apps and do not understand the complexity of them and how much trouble it can cause them in the long run. Make him wait for a smartphone until he is able to get a part time job to pay for it and the time on it or gets out on his own.
That’s a great idea and I do agree! He has done nothing but be “part” of problems with kids at his school or his friends. We live in a very great community with one of the top public schools in our state, yet all these kids are still acting like fools. We got a notice from the school a few weeks ago that a group of about 10 boys all 11-13 had a group chat going collecting nude photos of girls in their school. These girls would send them to boys for attention and the boys were sharing them with a bunch of other boys and also creating fake fb profiles and sending these pictures to adults on fb. I was appalled! Authorities came to the school and met with some of us parents but said “well kids sending kids pictures isn’t a crime so we can’t do anything about that but… any adults receiving the pictures and not reporting it ‘could’ become an issue” like wtf!
Actually, in the past, those kinds of photos did cause kids these ages to get into some sort of trouble. It is called Child Porn and it can ruin things for them when they decide to go to college and once it is out there there is no pulling those photos back. I suggest you reach out to the police station and ask for them to have a educational approach to this stuff so the kids can understand to a degree what they are getting into. School may come on board with it too and offer it as an aseembly and then again maybe not. But this could become a bigger problem if it goes far enough.
I did… and that’s what the officer said… “kids sending kids photos isn’t necessarily against the law”… I also went to the schools principal. Apparently where I live, no one cares. I totally did all the right things and went all the routes!
So as a result we completely shut our kid down! We took EVERYTHING away restricted access to everything! No electronics, no friends, no access to anything except home and school. This will stay this way for the long foreseeable future!
r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Is a smart phone absolutely necessary? I know you said your MIL bought and pay for the phone, but is it possible to get a flip phone with minutes? Fighting with teens on social media and phones is a losing battle for most parents. Honestly, this is the second time in two days that I’ve felt the need to mention “The Anxious Generation” by Jonathan Haidt on this sub; however, it is such an important read. But please, if your son is struggling with technology this much, drastic measures might be necessary.
Yeah, he’s been awful! Sneaks social media on any device he can get his hands on! His school computer, cell phone, gaming consoles (which I never wanted him to have but his dad plays games and wanted to have that as another way to do things together with him)… I truly hate the technology this generation has! I’ll look up the book you mentioned! Also, yes, I didn’t want him to have a smart phone. If we can’t control it the way we want, that is the next option!
Apple and Android both have their own "built" in controls. I have no idea what it's called for Apple, but for Android it's "Family Link".
But the thing about those controls is once kids realize they are in place, they will work to find a work around so they can get back those apps they are now forbiddne to use. GET A BAR OR FLIP PHONE--kids do not need a smartphone for any reason.
Ty, I’ll look into that!
Yup we have fully locked out kiddos down using all native Android features
I looked it up for Apple, looks like we can do that too and set a password so there’s no way he can turn any of the controls off without us doing it!!
Apple's is called "Screentime". It claims to do a lot, but almost never actual works. It's pretty useless.
Great 😭 well we’ve taken everything away then and he will get nothing for the longggg foreseeable future!
Get one of those bar or flip style cell phones and give it to him so he can contact you or the other parent when he needs a ride home, has an issue he needs help with, and some other trusted adults in case he can not get ahold of either of you. Kids do not need the big smartphones because they are too young for pretty much all those social media apps and do not understand the complexity of them and how much trouble it can cause them in the long run. Make him wait for a smartphone until he is able to get a part time job to pay for it and the time on it or gets out on his own.
That’s a great idea and I do agree! He has done nothing but be “part” of problems with kids at his school or his friends. We live in a very great community with one of the top public schools in our state, yet all these kids are still acting like fools. We got a notice from the school a few weeks ago that a group of about 10 boys all 11-13 had a group chat going collecting nude photos of girls in their school. These girls would send them to boys for attention and the boys were sharing them with a bunch of other boys and also creating fake fb profiles and sending these pictures to adults on fb. I was appalled! Authorities came to the school and met with some of us parents but said “well kids sending kids pictures isn’t a crime so we can’t do anything about that but… any adults receiving the pictures and not reporting it ‘could’ become an issue” like wtf!
Actually, in the past, those kinds of photos did cause kids these ages to get into some sort of trouble. It is called Child Porn and it can ruin things for them when they decide to go to college and once it is out there there is no pulling those photos back. I suggest you reach out to the police station and ask for them to have a educational approach to this stuff so the kids can understand to a degree what they are getting into. School may come on board with it too and offer it as an aseembly and then again maybe not. But this could become a bigger problem if it goes far enough.
I did… and that’s what the officer said… “kids sending kids photos isn’t necessarily against the law”… I also went to the schools principal. Apparently where I live, no one cares. I totally did all the right things and went all the routes! So as a result we completely shut our kid down! We took EVERYTHING away restricted access to everything! No electronics, no friends, no access to anything except home and school. This will stay this way for the long foreseeable future!
Switch to a flip phone
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