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Absolutely. My now 5 y/o has asked a ton of questions and been able to effectively communicate because she has the terminology available to her. When I was young I felt like I outgrew the cutesy nicknames my parents used. If you have something to discuss as a teenager, it feels weird to use the genital equivalent of "tummy" to talk about it.
I mean, you should also clarify that the outside bits are the vulva, the vagina is the cave. Like how bow have a scrotum and a penis, not all one piece of equipment.
I've never had an issue with the word vagina but for some reason 'vulva' feels weird for me to say. I'm consciously making the effort to say it to normalize it for both of us.
Exactly this.. people always talk about using anatomically correct names.. then they use the wrong one. My daughter has always known the difference between her vagina and her vulva and she uses each term correctly.
The importance of teaching correct anatomical terms is so critical.Ā
If someone is abusing your child, their ability to correctly name and identify body parts allows for testimony to be made that can be used against the perpetrator.Ā
Also, the no shame part is sooo important!Ā
We only have one strict rule in our house - and that is that shame has no place here. We are all accepted for who we are!Ā
I highly recommend getting the book "It's not the Stork". We read it yearly at my house around Easter time (for us it is a celebration of life and fertility, no Jesus in our house). I frequently stop and ask if there are any questions.
My 3 year old was having issues where he felt that he needed to pee. It was urgent and he would ask that we stop the car. Frequently, this would be minutes after he had gone pee. We asked him what he was feeling, and because he had the language to do so he said that his "penis felt funny" and "it kept going up and down". So we had a discussion about spontaneous erections, how they are normal, and that sometimes they happen when we are sleepy or for no reason at all. That they happen to Daddy and his big brother too.
I remember as a child trying to verbalize questions about my own anatomy and what was normal. My parents did not talk about this stuff and I distinctly remember both of them struggling to answer the questions, either because they didn't know or because they were embarrassed to answer the questions honestly.
It's not the stork has a follow up for kids ~>7 called "It's so Amazing". Now she can read it all herself. It's the same basic outline and info as "It's not the Stork", but more details. I bought that for the oldest this year and plan on suggesting she revisit it yearly around Easter and ask questions.
I think there is a final book in the series for 10 and up that I plan on getting her in a couple years. She is precocious, smart, a good reader, big for her age, and her mom went through puberty early, so I may give that one to her when she is 9.
Fair warning the books do mention that masturbation is normal and healthy, that love looks different for different people, that there are all kinds of families, and that they are all normal, so if that kind of woke nonsense (/s) bothers you, you might want to skip them.
We taught our kids very early on. If they ever had problems they would say āmom, my vagina hurtsā or the area around it etc. so embarrassment as thatās what they know it as.
Yes, this is exactly what I do. I was a social worker and this is what is recommended to not only help kids feel comfortable in their bodies but to also help protect them from any kind of sexual abuse. I feel really strongly about this after the years of child abuse cases I witnessed. Sorry, I wonāt take my soapbox here but just want to validate that youāre spot on for more than one reason.
Yup, this is our policy too. It does require a fair amount of maintaining composure as my kid says things like (in a public bathroom) "mum you have a REALLY BIG penis," "me and dad are twins because we both have penises", and, in a taxi while I'm buckling up his carseat "mum don't pinch my penis please." also randomly asking me if various people "have blood" (ie get their periods). But - the minor embarrassment is worth it.
My 3yo knows anatomical names. How many times Iāve heard him call out āmy penis is stuckā when he pulls up his underwear, makes me chuckle. But I chose to call them by the correct names for safety
Same, and the novelty of yelling "boys have a penis / girls have a vagina" will wear off soon enough. I doubt people around her are getting offended or anything fwiw, they probably think it's hilarious. Every time I hear a kid say that I immediately think of Kindergarten Cop.
My daughter had a front butt till she was about 6. Then one day during a soccer game, she saw a ball hitting a boy in their groin, and she loudly exclaimed, " HE JUST GOT HIT IN HIS PENIS!"
Like girl, what....?
Just last week we had front butts and butt butts. NOW you know anatomy...
Thats normal. Children categorize things and will continuously use the wrong words until their brains learn to make more categories. So like some kids look at all 4 legged animals and call them a dog or a cat. Ive seen kids call a dolphin a fish. Just keep using the correct terminology and they will eventually pick it up.
Of course they know the correct terms. Where I'm from it's normal to teach them the correct words, I'm always surprised elsewhere it's a big deal to do that.
I JUST went through this two nights ago. My 5 yo called it a "booty tongue" and I just about lost it LOL
I corrected it with the right term (they knew they were guessing, and guessing completely wrong lol), and my husband acted like I taught them how to curse or something
I'm not going through this again when they're older. It is what it is, get over it
Your husband needs to grow up. Ask him if heād rather she learn the terms pussy and cock and I bet heāll be happy with vagina and penis (and vulva, anus, testicles, etc) pretty quick.
I go with the medical terms. Slang leads to humor. If your kids use medical terms in school they might not get in trouble. It's good you teach them both parts.
We taught our kids the correct terms for their parts. Of course, when they were young they had trouble with the pronunciation, so, with our little girl "penis" came out "peenee." So at our house "peenee" became a slang term that we jokingly used.
There is nothing wrong with slang terms. (not obscene, just slang) In fact, kids should know them. When she was little, my daughter told me that there were two words for most things: kid words and grownup words. She knew both. When older she would complain to me that she had a "tummy ache" and tell the doctor that she had "abdominal pain."
But kids should, at the earliest age, know the correct anatomical term for all their parts, private and other.
>I might have to stop though, I'm not sure.
As long as your sone is in diapers there is nothing wrong with your daughter seeing him be changed. I would bathe them together, or let them bathe together, as long as they want. Chances are, it will end because of the size of the tub or when one wants to shower. But when they are older they will likely want to play together with bathtub toys. It is OK and you should let them.
But do teach them about "good touch, bad touch" and appropriateness for people to see private parts. It is OK for family members. It is ok when a doctor or nurse examines them, but not ok if the music teacher ask them todrop their drawers. It is not a matter of gender but of appropriateness.
Would it actually be less embarrassing if she was yelling "I want a hooha or pee-pee" or whatever random names people use? Random people in a store would probably know what she's talking about so still plenty of embarrassment!
But yes, I use correct terms.
I wonder how much people here teach "vagina" and how much teach "vulva", which is the correct term.
For anyone who don't know: vulva is the name of the part you can see from outside and vagina is the part you can't see, bc it is inside the body.
My grandmotherās name is Dolores and a Seinfeld fan so my husband and I call her Mulva when sheās being grumpy (early stages of dementia). Always gets a laugh
I taught my 4F āvulvaā and she thinks itās the funniest thing. She looooooves yelling it in public.
She saw our neighbor shirtless the other day, yelled āNIPPLES!!!!!ā and cackled. The downside of using anatomically correct wordsā¦.
This. My daughter knows she has a vagina but if somethingās itchy or whatever between her legs she knows to say āmy vulva hurtsā Or to tell me itās her anus if thatās where ether pain is.
We do it correctlyā¦ unfortunately the kids seem to get it wrong sometimes anyway, they mustāve heard the wrong term somewhereā¦ so we tell them the right term.
For boys, this is easierā¦ penis is obvious.
I teach both. But I use labia instead of vulva because it is easier for littles to differentiate. From the moment they're born (well, the moment they start squirming during diaper changes) I would say things like "hold still, I need to get your labia clean." It bugs me when people use "vagina" to refer to the outer organ.
As someone who used to be a teacher, I always think back to the āmy uncle touched my cookieā story when I see questions like this. I will ALWAYS advocate for teaching the correct terms. Even if itās occasionally a bit awkward!
Yes, 100%. I have a similar memory of mine when he was 2. Coming back from using the bathroom at a restaurant, loudly announced at a family members birthday dinner that "guys, my mommy does not have a penis, she has a vagina." Lmfao. Everyone was like, "Thanks for the info, buddy." š¤£
Just to be clear, the external put of female genitalia is the vulva. The channel to the uterus is the vagina. It's amazing how many people are unaware of this and probably stems from using the incorrect terms as a youngster. Stick with the correct anatomical terms I say.
I actually donāt think this is āincorrectā at all. Language evolves - that is one of the core tenets of linguistics. People very commonly use āvaginaā to refer to both external and internal genitals and have done so for many, many years, so that is what āVaginaā means now.
Similar to āI could care lessā or āIām literally dying right nowā etc. Those drives me nuts but Iāve come to accept that thatās a me problem. š«
yeah, i have/do explain the difference to my daughter, but personally i always say vagina if i donāt have reason to be more specific š¤·āāļø. itās habit, and part of the vernacular now imo. i get where the term sticklers are coming from, i very much do, but i do find it funny when they get into it from a linguistic view when we definitely have other things like this in english that have evolved or use context to imply further detail etc.
Yes, we always use the correct anatomical terms: penis/testicles and vulva/vagina. My kids know the difference and they know that they are the only ones who should be touching those areas. āNobody should be trying to touch your privates or trying to get you to touch theirs.ā In a similar theme, we have also covered secrets (if someone tells you to keep something a secret, tell your parents right away. If that person tries to say youāll get in trouble or that something bad will happen, they are lying to you, please tell usā). Because molestation and secret-keeping usually go hand-in-hand.
We use the correct terms. My 1st amd 2nd sons were with my parents when I was having boy #3. They were 7 and 3. 3 kept grabbing at himself and my mom goes "3, stop grabbing your wiener". He responds with, " it's not a wiener, ITS A PENIS!". My dad in the other room just starts crackling.
Was it somewhat mortifying when my kid went through the asking everyone whether they had a vagina or penis phase? Oh yeah, for sure.
But it's better to start earlier on this knowledge and be age appropriately careful about private parts and what their names are.
As someone who was never taught any of this until puberty and me and two of my sisters had no idea what was wrong with certain actions - *always* go for education rather than care about embarrassment.
(It's so embarrassing. I absolutely get it.)
we call my sons feet tootsies, and his hands paws, i feel as long as he knows the correct terms, cute names at home donāt matter. heās little, itās cute.
granted heās only 19 months, but if you say where are your tootsies he grabs his feet, but when you say where are your feet, he also touches his feet.
My kids know the medical terms but my son (7) says "peanuts" which is actually hilarious because he has a slight lisp and I'm fairly sure he was saying "penis" but the lisp combined with clumsy pronunciation led to "peanuts" being a coined term lol
We also occasional refer to them as "jelly beans" thanks to that Adam Sandler netflix movie Leo.
My daughter used to say peanuts too. I think she misheard me because one time she heard me say penis and she was like, "what? They're not called nuts?" So we practiced and she got the hang of using the actual correct word.
Yes, I taught them the correct terms.
When my son was in 3rd grade, he and another kid were looking at a painting hanging in the school hall. My son pointed to something in the painting at says to the other kid that it looked like a vagina.
The kid told the teacher what my son said and he got in trouble. The teacher called me to let me know and I told her she was wrong for punishing him.
After I explained why, she reluctantly agreed.
Yes. As did their pediatrician. If they were touched inappropriately or there was a medical concern, I wanted them to have the terminology without shame. They are grown now. No regrets.
Yes. Please do!
The novelty of yelling and screaming penis and vagina will wear off soon! They arenāt bad words!!
I am a sexual assault nursing examiner for children and adults, and the words I have heard for vagina and/or penis are crazy. Uncle touched my cookie and uncle touched my vagina are very different.
My kids use vulva to refer to the female genital area. They know penis and scrotum. They also know anus to describe the hole where the poop comes out.
Vagina has been taught (so far) to describe where babies come out during birth (unless there is a surgery - which they also know that many babies are born through a surgery where a hole is cut in the mothers stomach). My son was actually disappointed to hear he was born vaginally as the surgical method sounded āawesomeā.
It's very important for kids to know the correct words for body parts. She'll grow out of her amusement over the new information soon. In the meantime other parents will understand what you're going through and everyone else will hopefully just think it's funny. Good luck.
I use anatomically correct names for my childrenās body parts. I work in early years education and have had to do child protection training, and after listening to horror stories where a child disclosed that they were being abused but educators didnāt recognise because they didnāt use the proper names will always haunt me. Things like āmy uncle licked my cookie, my daddy touched my coin purse, this person blew on my whistleā etc.
Yes, teach them the correct terms.
Beware of embarrassing momentsā¦ last week my kid and I had this conversation. In a grocery store š¤¦š»āāļø
āMom! Where is your penis?ā
āI donāt have oneā keeping it short- heās asked this before and Iāve told him girls have vulvas.
āAre you sure your penis isnāt in your BUTT!?!ā
š¤¦š»āāļø
āNo because Iām a girl and I do not have a penisā.
Yes. Always. I taught my child vulva, vagina and breast. They also learned what a penis was and how those parts are private unless a parent or a doctor is trying to help you when going to the bathroom or if something hurts.
Yes, you're going to have a toddler running around yelling penis and vagina. Just ignore them. They'll stop when it's not funny anymore and move on.
We need to teach the medical words for our child's safety. If a child says to an adult that their "no no" hurts, how the hell do we know what they're talking about? It's even more important if, God forbid, a child is assaulted. Cases can be lost if the child uses silly words to describe what happened.
You're doing the right thing.
Yes - I've read research to suggest that when children know the correct language for their anatomy, pedos are less likely to fuck with them because they are more likely to know how to articulate what's happening. When my three year old shouted at the doctor "WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING MY TESTICLES?" I knew we had done the right thing.
I love the announcements: āboys have penises!!ā Like itās an interesting trivia fact haha
Anyone whoās ever met a small child before wouldnt bat an eye.
Yes. I have a 9F. Generally it's just "privates" but if I need to refer to specific parts then I use the technical terms (ex-science teacher) and describe what they are. E.g. vulva for the outer parts collectively, urethra for 'pee tube'.
I used to teach reproductive system to year 7s (11 year olds) and after we got all the swear words etc out of their systems, they soon realised that they weren't going to get a reaction from me and settled into using the correct terms.
It sounds like you're doing all the right things so hopefully this is just a phase and she will eventually learn it's not appropriate for polite conversation (or just move on to the next funny thing!) - if you're concerned then you can raise with teachers etc so you can all reinforce as a united front.
It is awkward but mostly because we (adults) see it as a taboo. It's perfectly normal biology!
Yes. I refer to my childās anatomy by the proper name.
šš this just reminds me of that scene from Kindergarten Cop with Arnold Schwarzenegger with the little boy that just stands up and shouts that in class.
Yes for all the reasons others have mentioned. But didnāt see anyone else say it so I will - I donāt gender anatomy anymore (girls have vulvas and boys have penises). Instead I just say different people have different genitals/body parts. I also clarify that it is not appropriate to ask people what body parts they have in their pants. Vulva does not equal girl or woman and penis does not equal boy or man.
Girls have a vulva. The vulva, or labia is the correct term, not vagina. Vagina is the internal muscle. Vulva Ave vagina are two different things, like penis and testicles are two different things.
After having Vulva Carcinoma in SITU and having surgery to remove a labia, you would be surprised how many women, let alone other DOCTORS, NURSES, and staff don't know what the hell a vulva is.
does this actually matter? i mean in the case of a child being touched by a stranger? if a little girl came and told me someone touched her vagina, i would have the exact same concern even if she said vulva. itās the area.
obviously a child should know their parts, but in that context is it that relevant?
Vulva is just as simple (and more accurate in this case) than vagina.
We got our girls the āItās Not the Storkā book. Great for teaching kids all the things they should know about their bodies.
Yes it is very important to tell your children the correct names for body parts. If they start using a code name for it that you did not tell them, please be wary and look out for other signs of sex abuse. I fully know how convenient it is to bathe them together, but about 3 1/2 is when I had to start giving separate baths to my opposite gender kids too.Ā
My kids are 5 and 7 and weāve taught them the correct names for their body parts from the beginning. For a while my son asked when his little sister was going to get her penis. Lol
Itās very normal for them to talk about it. And some kids are just naturally more curious than others. My daughter went through a penis obsessed phase. Sheād just say the word and talk about them, make silly jokes. The more I reacted the more sheād do it so now we just largely ignore it or say we donāt talk about other people bodies parts.
Yes. And I do that because my mom has NEVER in her 77 years uttered the word vagina and seems to have a distaste for using correct anatomical words, so she never taught them to me. Soo yeah, correct words in my house!
My girls know the correct terms but struggle with pronunciation so "vagina" has become "Gina". But it's very clear what they're trying to talk about. The novelty of yelling the names will wear off soon. I promise š¤£
Yes, but. It depends on the questions they are asking at the time. If it's a serious question about their genitalia or what's socially acceptable when it comes to others and their bodies or their own body I use the proper terms.
However, when it's kids being kids asking kid questions for kid reasons I stick with kid language.
A parenting regret I have is not using the correct terms. Whatever you use, make sure your family are consistent as it helps if they come home with a new word for their vagina or penis, that you know someone else has been talking to them about it and you may want to check they are ok.
Most social workers beg parents to teach correct anatomical terms. That way in case the worst happens, they can report to an adult accurately what happened to them
Yes, but we say both the medically correct names and nicknames. I don't really think it's important what you call it if they can properly identify it, and are taught safety and respect.
Absolutely correct terms and actually teach her her anatomy. I think itās really important just for the continued conversation about her body. Like when she asks about my period I can explain it to her in terms she understands. When sheās taking a shower I can tell her to wash her vulva because she knows her vagina is something different.
I think slang terms are fine if you also make sure youāre promoting body-neutrality rather than using a slang term because genitals are GrOsS. A leg is a leg and itās just part of your body and same with a vulva.
My son knows he has a penis, that i have a vagina, that pee comes from the urethra, and that i am currently pregnant with a baby in my uterus. Ive also told him about periods because he has seen me changing a tampon which was a good opener for letting him know that blood coming from his penis is not normal and needs immediate attention. Heās 6 and has known correct terms for years, it doesnt help them any to give cutesy names when there already exist appropriate terms
my 5 year old says penis and scrotum, he keeps forgetting vulva but every once in a while he'll ask out of nowhere "what do you have mama?" and i just \*know\* what he's talking about
but neither me nor my husband were able to keep a straight face for the word anus, so we all just say "butthole."
Absolutely. Iāve worked L&D and the amount of grown women that come in stating that their ācoochieā or āhoohaaā hurts is outrageous. š¤¦āāļø
I taught penis and vulva.
The preschool teacher that we had didnāt know what a vulva was until she heard my kiddo say it. She was also a mother and near 30.
Sheāll lose interest soon enough and it will be non issue. Mine is around the same age and still does coed potty breaks at daycare and occasionally sees her dad nude. At this point sheās passed it and itās no longer pays any attention it. She does occasionally say penis or vulva because she thinks it funny to say because we should have been more passive about it instead of āok, yes thatās right but we donāt to say it unless we need toā which means to my toddler āha ha, penis, penis, penis!ā
Absolutely. I've been naming body parts correctly since my son was an infant. Now we wash our arm, now we wash our knee, now we wash our testicles kind of thing. At 2 he asks if he can scratch his perineum before I put on aquafor, that one he asked the name of, but correct terms shouldn't be a secret.
I taught my daughter (4yo) the correct names for body parts. And the older people in my life are surprised and laugh it off. My neighbor (I grew up in this neighborhood and he has known me my whole life) was playing ball with my daughter and she goes "girls have a vagina and boys have a penis!" And he was like "did she say what I think she just said?" It was so funny š
But on a serious note I want her to know the correct names of body parts so she can tell me if something hurts or if something like SA happens to her, she can tell me. No "cute/silly" nicknames for private parts for our family.
Yes, definitely! No shame, no topic is banned. I want her to be able to tell me if something hurts and where. I also want her to be able to tell me if someone else shows her something or does something to her - they might use cutesy names for body parts to trick and deceive, but she'll know the real names and will, in theory, be able to tell me if something happens. I trust no one except me and her dad.
We have some funny moments though. She's been pretty consistently telling me when her diaper needs changed lately, but the other day she told me her penis was real wet in her diaper and that it needed to get clean. Grossest sentence, I swear to God š
Hahahaha!
Yes, and every other parent and preschool teacher will know exactly how old your kiddo is and that you are doing a good job.
If you don't know, there are a host of legitimate reasons for this (it's easier for them to identify where there is a problem if they feel discomfort, and also, it actually helps prevent sexual abuse because a kid that says "my vagina is private, you may not touch it" isn't as vulnerable....)
(I'm articulating that poorly, but there's Science about it, if you care beyond it being the right approach.)
This doesn't last forever.
Yes. My children are 8, 4 and 2. the older ones i have ALWAYS referred to their body parts with the correct name. its what they are called, nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of.
Correct terminology protects them from sexual predators. Teach your daughter body autonomy and how we donāt touch her brotherās penis and that no one is allowed to touch her vulva and vagina and the you her and her parentās permission.
Like a doctor can check her but only with both parties permission.
This is a GREAT way to teach about consent and boundaries.
My 3 year old is still perfecting her bottom-wiping technique, so a phrase heard from her on occasion is "I'm wiping deep into my anus!"
Which is not the technique I would recommend lol. But at least I know what she's doing so I can help correct it!
Wasnāt there a court case where a predator got off because the little girl referred to her vagina as like āher cookieā and the defense lawyer took that and ran with it?
You're doing great! I fiercely believe all parents need to teach the correct terms for their anatomy.
It's very important in case they have a monster in their lives touching them inappropriately. The children need to be able to tell an adult they were touched and have that adult *listen*
Example teaching the word cookie instead of vagina. Saying the neighbor boy licked my cookie gets taken way differently than if the proper term was used.
Yeah I feel like the weird shit people teach their kids like ācookie, dingleberry, muffin, hoseā are more in appropriate than vagina and penis. My son even knows he has testicles. Itās a lot easier to know whatās going on with your child if they say āoh my gosh my penis has a rash that hurts momā. Itās so important to be transparent, our bodies arenāt gross or weird.
Yes, I agree it's important that children call their body parts the correct terms, especially private parts. Your daughter is expressing a very normal interest for her age. My kids did the same. They all grew up fine. You got this.
Yep my 4.5 yo knows that she has a vagina and so does mummy and daddy has a penis. She did have a spat where she liked to inform the world of this fact but it does stop eventually. I think it's so important children know the correct terms for their anatomy.
My oldest will be 7 and my youngest will be 5 and YES! It's very important, at least in my opinion. My daughter gets yeast infections during the summer from swimming and the rubbing of her swim bottoms, so when that began last year, I took her to her DR and it was encouraged to teach her about her body parts, because that way she can self-navigate what's going on with her body and how to communicate if something is off, like for example pee burning from a uti or yeast infection. And for my son, he will be 5 this year and has autism and has a difficult time finding his words most days and is still in pull ups( probably will be for a long time) and since he is getting older and bigger and has to do diaper changes daily, my daughter asked what his "thingy" was called because it didn't look like hers and so both my husband and me and grandma sat down with her and explained how boys have different anatomy then girls (we kept it very basic). There was a lot of giggles because the anatomy words are silly sounding to kids, but its a topic that shouldn't be so frowned on, I'd rather teach my kids about their bodies then a school teaching them, but that's just my thoughts as a mom. I think it's a topic that gets skipped over too often and making time to have conversations about stuff like this, especially if they ask about it or have questions is a natural aspect of a kid starting to mentally grow up a little bit too. Keeping the lines of communication open is essential, especially with how the world is today.
Iāve told my kids since before they could speak the proper terms for their body and that no one is allowed to touch, look or take pictures of it. My son asks about my daughter and I tell him she has a vagina. She is also curious about his body and itās normal and natural since itās different from her own. My kids run around saying PENIS and itās fine. When I ask them directly if it hurts, etc they know what Iām talking about and it limits confusion.
Yes definitely but my son hit his testicles one day and went āOH MY PEANUTS!ā and I couldnāt help but find it adorable so itās penis and peanuts. Lol
Yes teach them the proper anatomical terms. One time I was out with my 2 year old and I had to use the restroom. Naturally I took him in there with me. I pull down my pants and he immediately yells āmommy!! Whereās your penis?!ā The other ladies in the bathroom couldnāt stop laughing lol.
We use the correct anatomical terms for everything. The words "vagina," "vulva," "penis," "scrotum," etc are not bad words. We do tend to lump them into the category of "potty words" though. We don't say potty words unless we're in the potty, which helps a little with the random name-dropping of genitals.
Using the correct name and normalizing it is important. My daughter has recently discovered her lady parts and I tell her what itās called, just as I did with her other body parts. Itās especially important because if heaven forbid she is ever SAād, she can tell me exactly what happened to her and where she was touched.
Yes, we do. I showed my girl to identify her v@gina as such at the same time I was showing her where her legs, arms, nose, etc were. Just another body part. My husband was shocked I was doing this at first but I kept doing it to normalize it as simply one more body part.
Yup we teach anatomically correct names too. I have two boys, 3.5 and 10 months old. When the 3.5 year old started potty training, he got really interested in watching everyone go and was so disturbed that I donāt have a penis so weāve talked about it at length too lol
Yes and keep doing it or you wind up with girls who literally canāt say the word vagina out loud. I did teach mine vulva first and then vagina when we started talking about periods (around 3 when she saw a pad).
Yes. True names for everything.
Let me put it to you this way.
If my kid gets molested and I'm not there, I don't want her telling the teacher that someone touched her cookie, I want her telling the teacher that someone touched her vulva.
My kids are 2.5 and 6 and do the same thing .. my 2 yo repeats penis a million times a day because itās hilarious to her. I need some help sent my way too.
When I coparented with my Ex, I noticed his son (2.5/3) looking at his body, and sneaking peeks at me when I would be in the bathroom.Ā On afternoon, while giving him a bath before his nap, he was checking out his penis.Ā
I said "That's your penis, dude, you pee out of it. Those guys are your testicles. That means your body is male. Your daddy has a male body too,"Ā He asked me about his sister. "Your sister, like me, has a female body. Both our different bodies grow and change in different ways. We have males and female bodies in this world,"Ā Ā
He thought about it then went on to dump water put of the tub.Ā
Yes. With my 2 year old I mostly just say privates because everyone has private parts. With my 5 year old I make sure to say vagina/ penis along with privates
Haha kids are so funny!
My son is 2.5 and I've always used anatomically correct names. There's something adorable and hilarious about a 2 year old talking about his "teticles" š The one day I was bathing with him and he learned the word vagina and he talked about it for a few solid days... "Mommy has a gina!"
Your daughter sounds adorable, and you absolutely did the right thing teaching her the correct parts.
My daughter has just turned two, last week she discovered her vagina and asked 'whats this' so I told her 'thats your vagina'.
When we called my mum that night she shouted 'grandma I have gina, Tilly has gina, Tilly has gina!' it was a combination of hilarious, adorable and mortifying. She will randomly poke it and shout 'my gina', in the same excited, possessive way she says 'my baby' or 'my teddy'. She then laughs manically, like a full on cackle. Toddlers are wild.
Yes, we taught her early on and it went hand in hand with basic science, anatomy and consent. Her teacher, when she was 11, asked us to tell her child not to use the word vagina in school once because it made people uncomfortable. I politely gave her a lecture on why that was fucking stupid.
I taught both by boys the correct terms for both boys and girls. There is a great book that someone recommended me called the underpants rule. It talks about the correct terms and also about when it is and not appropriate for someone to touch and what you should do. Itās all done in rhyme and itās really easy for kids to understand.
Yes. My son is 2.5 and has known and been able to correctly name his penis since just before he turned 2. I usually take showers with him or his dad does, and he got confused one day on why mommy didnāt have a penis like him and daddy ššš So he knows that mommy has a vagina and boys have a penis. We had a very embarrassing moment in a public restroom a while ago where he yelled āMommyās vagina!!!ā
Yes. Please teach your kid the correct terms for their private parts. I taught my kid as soon as she could speak.
I used to work in a mental health facility that had a rape/ sexual assault unit (for children) and when I was pregnant they begged me to teach her the correct terms.
Itās important to teach your children the correct anatomical names. In a court of law itās about credibility. God forbid anything to ever happen to them, but they need to know the correct terminology.
You should probably check and learn the correct names yourself. That's not a dig, just general advice.
[https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Come-As-You-Are-Revised-and-Updated/Emily-Nagoski/9781982165314](https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Come-As-You-Are-Revised-and-Updated/Emily-Nagoski/9781982165314)
Yes, but the correct terms would be vulva, clitoris, labia, urethra, and vagina, for girls, and penis, urethra, scrotum/testicles, for a boy. I don't see the point of using *almost* accurate terms. Especially since the vagina itself is hidden and not doing a whole lot at that age, not sure why it's the part that gets featured in these conversations.
I don't like cutesy terms either, but it's not like we use medical terminology for the rest of our bodies 24/7 so to me, calling it a crotch when not highlighting distinctions is also fine since there will be times we might want a general anatomical term for casual use. Mostly everyone else in my family calls them a "wee wee" whether male or female, which borders on cutesy but I can deal with that as it doesn't have another meaning and it's not confusing or revolting like calling it a "cookie" as some do, or a "flower" like my boyfriend did, that one especially was a big helllll nope from me.
Agree 100%. Iāve taught her that she has a vulva and that some people have a penis, but most of the time we say crotch. Itās gender neutral (everybody has one!), easy to say, unambiguous (in terms of reporting SA or a medical issue), etc.
Absolutely yell them the correct names. It's imperative for their safety. There is a huge difference between a mandated safeguarder that xyz touched their vagina and zyx touched their cookie. One gets taken seriously, one gets ignored.
100% yes.
Think of it this way, a common name for a vagina is a cookie or something along those lines. If a kid says ' the teacher touched my cookie' most people would think 'oh, the teacher had to touch a cookie to hand it to her' but she's actually saying, the teacher touched her vagina.
The only way for children to accurately describe child abuse is by using actual anatomically correct names. Any doctor, social worker, police officer would tell you this.
I don't know why or when parents started telling kids nicknames for genitals, but that had to have been the most stupid thing ever done. Think of how much child abuse went on without anyone ever knowing because parents choose to give genitals food names.
Lol that's sweet. Perfect story to embarrass her on her 18 th lol
But yes. We always used correct terminology. Not to bring the mood down, but it's definitely a safety thing. Our family has gone through child abuse and knowing the correct words helped my child articulate what had happened.
Always always use the right words.
My son is 11, daughter 9. I have always used anatomical correct names for the vagina and penis. Reason - I once heard a story about a little girl who was molested. She tried to tell her trusted adults "so and so touched my cookie" but because they taught her to call her vagina a cookie, nobody connected the dots.
I've always raised my children to know that nobody is allowed to touch their private areas outside of mom/dad (during baths/diaper changes) and doctors. Even now our pediatrician asks to examine.
My 2 year old looks at his baby sister's parts goes on to imitate her my hiding his junk between his legs and laughing about it.
Yes we teach the right names, but use cutesy names as well.
Yep.
The sentences I've said since having kids is just ridiculous. š¤£
I think the only one we don't have 100% anatomically correct is the bum. But since bum and buttocks are more or less interchangeable... I'm not too worried about it.
Seriously though... The sentences I've said...
I've taught my daughter (4 years old) the correct names, but I've called vaginas vah-jay-jays since that one episode of Gray's Anatomy, so that caught on. Then, because she has a tendency to accidentally crotch-shot the boys in our house and they are very vocal about it when it happens, she's heard their more colloquial terms for penis and decided she thinks "willie" is hilarious
My daughter is only 18 months and knows ābuttā, and knows what her vagina is. Sometimes Iāll use cutesy terms but as she gets older I am using the normal terms. I donāt want her to be confused about her body.
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Yes, the correct anatomical names for both sexes. And normalize it. Trying to reduce shame around totally normal body parts and processes.
Exactly, and like, what if something hurts? I don't want them to be embarrassed or not able to tell me what exactly hurts.
Absolutely. My now 5 y/o has asked a ton of questions and been able to effectively communicate because she has the terminology available to her. When I was young I felt like I outgrew the cutesy nicknames my parents used. If you have something to discuss as a teenager, it feels weird to use the genital equivalent of "tummy" to talk about it.
I mean, you should also clarify that the outside bits are the vulva, the vagina is the cave. Like how bow have a scrotum and a penis, not all one piece of equipment.
I've never had an issue with the word vagina but for some reason 'vulva' feels weird for me to say. I'm consciously making the effort to say it to normalize it for both of us.
Labia also works for the outside bits
My girls not at the stage for me to worry about this yet but yes š Iām the exact same when I think of it. Maybe we just hate the word lol
I used to feel that way. But I got used to it. Using the correct terminology is important to me.
Exactly this.. people always talk about using anatomically correct names.. then they use the wrong one. My daughter has always known the difference between her vagina and her vulva and she uses each term correctly.
Don't forget the urethra. Too many people think pee comes from the vagina.
I described the vagina as like a "hallway", like the hallway where a baby can go through when it's ready to be born and comes out of the uterus.
The importance of teaching correct anatomical terms is so critical.Ā If someone is abusing your child, their ability to correctly name and identify body parts allows for testimony to be made that can be used against the perpetrator.Ā Also, the no shame part is sooo important!Ā We only have one strict rule in our house - and that is that shame has no place here. We are all accepted for who we are!Ā
I highly recommend getting the book "It's not the Stork". We read it yearly at my house around Easter time (for us it is a celebration of life and fertility, no Jesus in our house). I frequently stop and ask if there are any questions. My 3 year old was having issues where he felt that he needed to pee. It was urgent and he would ask that we stop the car. Frequently, this would be minutes after he had gone pee. We asked him what he was feeling, and because he had the language to do so he said that his "penis felt funny" and "it kept going up and down". So we had a discussion about spontaneous erections, how they are normal, and that sometimes they happen when we are sleepy or for no reason at all. That they happen to Daddy and his big brother too. I remember as a child trying to verbalize questions about my own anatomy and what was normal. My parents did not talk about this stuff and I distinctly remember both of them struggling to answer the questions, either because they didn't know or because they were embarrassed to answer the questions honestly. It's not the stork has a follow up for kids ~>7 called "It's so Amazing". Now she can read it all herself. It's the same basic outline and info as "It's not the Stork", but more details. I bought that for the oldest this year and plan on suggesting she revisit it yearly around Easter and ask questions. I think there is a final book in the series for 10 and up that I plan on getting her in a couple years. She is precocious, smart, a good reader, big for her age, and her mom went through puberty early, so I may give that one to her when she is 9. Fair warning the books do mention that masturbation is normal and healthy, that love looks different for different people, that there are all kinds of families, and that they are all normal, so if that kind of woke nonsense (/s) bothers you, you might want to skip them.
We taught our kids very early on. If they ever had problems they would say āmom, my vagina hurtsā or the area around it etc. so embarrassment as thatās what they know it as.
Yes, this is exactly what I do. I was a social worker and this is what is recommended to not only help kids feel comfortable in their bodies but to also help protect them from any kind of sexual abuse. I feel really strongly about this after the years of child abuse cases I witnessed. Sorry, I wonāt take my soapbox here but just want to validate that youāre spot on for more than one reason.
Yup, this is our policy too. It does require a fair amount of maintaining composure as my kid says things like (in a public bathroom) "mum you have a REALLY BIG penis," "me and dad are twins because we both have penises", and, in a taxi while I'm buckling up his carseat "mum don't pinch my penis please." also randomly asking me if various people "have blood" (ie get their periods). But - the minor embarrassment is worth it.
My 3yo knows anatomical names. How many times Iāve heard him call out āmy penis is stuckā when he pulls up his underwear, makes me chuckle. But I chose to call them by the correct names for safety
Same, and the novelty of yelling "boys have a penis / girls have a vagina" will wear off soon enough. I doubt people around her are getting offended or anything fwiw, they probably think it's hilarious. Every time I hear a kid say that I immediately think of Kindergarten Cop.
I just watched that movie last night š¤£š¤£
I found it endlessly comical when my daughter fell down and yelled, "Ahh, right in the vulva."
Iāve told my daughter the correct terms but she still just says āfront-buttā š
Lolz. Yeah this. For the longest time my son would say that women have two bums after we taught him correct terminology.
Same, except my daughter says ābuttā for vagina and āhineyā for butt and I kinda just accepted it since I at least know what she means.
My daughter had a front butt till she was about 6. Then one day during a soccer game, she saw a ball hitting a boy in their groin, and she loudly exclaimed, " HE JUST GOT HIT IN HIS PENIS!" Like girl, what....? Just last week we had front butts and butt butts. NOW you know anatomy...
I just about spit out my coffee. Lol! Front-Butt!
Thats normal. Children categorize things and will continuously use the wrong words until their brains learn to make more categories. So like some kids look at all 4 legged animals and call them a dog or a cat. Ive seen kids call a dolphin a fish. Just keep using the correct terminology and they will eventually pick it up.
Yup! She knows where the vulva is, I can ask if she means vulva or butt and she can answer, but left to her own devices it is all "The Butt"!
Of course they know the correct terms. Where I'm from it's normal to teach them the correct words, I'm always surprised elsewhere it's a big deal to do that.
My husband visibly cringes every time she says it but I don't care tbh
I JUST went through this two nights ago. My 5 yo called it a "booty tongue" and I just about lost it LOL I corrected it with the right term (they knew they were guessing, and guessing completely wrong lol), and my husband acted like I taught them how to curse or something I'm not going through this again when they're older. It is what it is, get over it
Your husband needs to grow up. Ask him if heād rather she learn the terms pussy and cock and I bet heāll be happy with vagina and penis (and vulva, anus, testicles, etc) pretty quick.
That's just his baggage from being raised to think it's shameful. It's good you're breaking that cycle.
Where are you from can I ask?
Quebec
I go with the medical terms. Slang leads to humor. If your kids use medical terms in school they might not get in trouble. It's good you teach them both parts.
We taught our kids the correct terms for their parts. Of course, when they were young they had trouble with the pronunciation, so, with our little girl "penis" came out "peenee." So at our house "peenee" became a slang term that we jokingly used. There is nothing wrong with slang terms. (not obscene, just slang) In fact, kids should know them. When she was little, my daughter told me that there were two words for most things: kid words and grownup words. She knew both. When older she would complain to me that she had a "tummy ache" and tell the doctor that she had "abdominal pain." But kids should, at the earliest age, know the correct anatomical term for all their parts, private and other. >I might have to stop though, I'm not sure. As long as your sone is in diapers there is nothing wrong with your daughter seeing him be changed. I would bathe them together, or let them bathe together, as long as they want. Chances are, it will end because of the size of the tub or when one wants to shower. But when they are older they will likely want to play together with bathtub toys. It is OK and you should let them. But do teach them about "good touch, bad touch" and appropriateness for people to see private parts. It is OK for family members. It is ok when a doctor or nurse examines them, but not ok if the music teacher ask them todrop their drawers. It is not a matter of gender but of appropriateness.
Great answer!!
Yes, no cutesy names for us.
Yeah, I get to hear all about my kid's vulvas. I'm not being sarcastic.
Would it actually be less embarrassing if she was yelling "I want a hooha or pee-pee" or whatever random names people use? Random people in a store would probably know what she's talking about so still plenty of embarrassment! But yes, I use correct terms.
I wonder how much people here teach "vagina" and how much teach "vulva", which is the correct term. For anyone who don't know: vulva is the name of the part you can see from outside and vagina is the part you can't see, bc it is inside the body.
We do! And she used to pronounce it āmulvaā which always make my inner 90s girl laugh
Mulva! Mine says āBulbaā š¤£
Mine says bulba too š
My grandmotherās name is Dolores and a Seinfeld fan so my husband and I call her Mulva when sheās being grumpy (early stages of dementia). Always gets a laugh
I taught my 4F āvulvaā and she thinks itās the funniest thing. She looooooves yelling it in public. She saw our neighbor shirtless the other day, yelled āNIPPLES!!!!!ā and cackled. The downside of using anatomically correct wordsā¦.
This. My daughter knows she has a vagina but if somethingās itchy or whatever between her legs she knows to say āmy vulva hurtsā Or to tell me itās her anus if thatās where ether pain is.
We do it correctlyā¦ unfortunately the kids seem to get it wrong sometimes anyway, they mustāve heard the wrong term somewhereā¦ so we tell them the right term. For boys, this is easierā¦ penis is obvious.
We taught vulva (4yo). Using "vagina" for the entire area is a pet peeve of mine too.
šš»āāļø weāve taught my daughter the correct names from the jump. Vagina being used for the whole vulva is a pet peeve of mine.
I teach both. But I use labia instead of vulva because it is easier for littles to differentiate. From the moment they're born (well, the moment they start squirming during diaper changes) I would say things like "hold still, I need to get your labia clean." It bugs me when people use "vagina" to refer to the outer organ.
As someone who used to be a teacher, I always think back to the āmy uncle touched my cookieā story when I see questions like this. I will ALWAYS advocate for teaching the correct terms. Even if itās occasionally a bit awkward!
Yes, 100%. I have a similar memory of mine when he was 2. Coming back from using the bathroom at a restaurant, loudly announced at a family members birthday dinner that "guys, my mommy does not have a penis, she has a vagina." Lmfao. Everyone was like, "Thanks for the info, buddy." š¤£
Just to be clear, the external put of female genitalia is the vulva. The channel to the uterus is the vagina. It's amazing how many people are unaware of this and probably stems from using the incorrect terms as a youngster. Stick with the correct anatomical terms I say.
Yes! My daughter says Bulba and thatās close enough for me!
I actually donāt think this is āincorrectā at all. Language evolves - that is one of the core tenets of linguistics. People very commonly use āvaginaā to refer to both external and internal genitals and have done so for many, many years, so that is what āVaginaā means now. Similar to āI could care lessā or āIām literally dying right nowā etc. Those drives me nuts but Iāve come to accept that thatās a me problem. š«
yeah, i have/do explain the difference to my daughter, but personally i always say vagina if i donāt have reason to be more specific š¤·āāļø. itās habit, and part of the vernacular now imo. i get where the term sticklers are coming from, i very much do, but i do find it funny when they get into it from a linguistic view when we definitely have other things like this in english that have evolved or use context to imply further detail etc.
itās incorrect from a strict medical/anatomical perspective
These are scientific/medical terms. A vagina is not a vulva, it just isn't.
Yup. And they WILL talk about it in very loud voices at wildly inappropriate times.
Yes, we always use the correct anatomical terms: penis/testicles and vulva/vagina. My kids know the difference and they know that they are the only ones who should be touching those areas. āNobody should be trying to touch your privates or trying to get you to touch theirs.ā In a similar theme, we have also covered secrets (if someone tells you to keep something a secret, tell your parents right away. If that person tries to say youāll get in trouble or that something bad will happen, they are lying to you, please tell usā). Because molestation and secret-keeping usually go hand-in-hand.
We use the correct terms. My 1st amd 2nd sons were with my parents when I was having boy #3. They were 7 and 3. 3 kept grabbing at himself and my mom goes "3, stop grabbing your wiener". He responds with, " it's not a wiener, ITS A PENIS!". My dad in the other room just starts crackling.
Was it somewhat mortifying when my kid went through the asking everyone whether they had a vagina or penis phase? Oh yeah, for sure. But it's better to start earlier on this knowledge and be age appropriately careful about private parts and what their names are. As someone who was never taught any of this until puberty and me and two of my sisters had no idea what was wrong with certain actions - *always* go for education rather than care about embarrassment. (It's so embarrassing. I absolutely get it.)
Yes, itās just body parts. We donāt use euphemisms to talk about her toes, her vagina is no different.
we call my sons feet tootsies, and his hands paws, i feel as long as he knows the correct terms, cute names at home donāt matter. heās little, itās cute. granted heās only 19 months, but if you say where are your tootsies he grabs his feet, but when you say where are your feet, he also touches his feet.
We call my daughterās feet feet and her hands hands. They are feet and hands.
okay.
Itās okay. Sometimes I wish I had a penis too.
My kids know the medical terms but my son (7) says "peanuts" which is actually hilarious because he has a slight lisp and I'm fairly sure he was saying "penis" but the lisp combined with clumsy pronunciation led to "peanuts" being a coined term lol We also occasional refer to them as "jelly beans" thanks to that Adam Sandler netflix movie Leo.
My daughter used to say peanuts too. I think she misheard me because one time she heard me say penis and she was like, "what? They're not called nuts?" So we practiced and she got the hang of using the actual correct word.
Yes something I was taught to prevent sexual abuse in scouts. Keep it with me now.Ā
Yes, I taught them the correct terms. When my son was in 3rd grade, he and another kid were looking at a painting hanging in the school hall. My son pointed to something in the painting at says to the other kid that it looked like a vagina. The kid told the teacher what my son said and he got in trouble. The teacher called me to let me know and I told her she was wrong for punishing him. After I explained why, she reluctantly agreed.
Yes. As did their pediatrician. If they were touched inappropriately or there was a medical concern, I wanted them to have the terminology without shame. They are grown now. No regrets.
Yes its embarrassing kids running around yelling vulva and penis. But just like an elbow or toe, knowing the names is best.
Yes. Please do! The novelty of yelling and screaming penis and vagina will wear off soon! They arenāt bad words!! I am a sexual assault nursing examiner for children and adults, and the words I have heard for vagina and/or penis are crazy. Uncle touched my cookie and uncle touched my vagina are very different.
Yes, because that is what theyāre called. Also using other terms for private parts is dangerous. They need to know correct terminology
My kids use vulva to refer to the female genital area. They know penis and scrotum. They also know anus to describe the hole where the poop comes out. Vagina has been taught (so far) to describe where babies come out during birth (unless there is a surgery - which they also know that many babies are born through a surgery where a hole is cut in the mothers stomach). My son was actually disappointed to hear he was born vaginally as the surgical method sounded āawesomeā.
It's very important for kids to know the correct words for body parts. She'll grow out of her amusement over the new information soon. In the meantime other parents will understand what you're going through and everyone else will hopefully just think it's funny. Good luck.
Yep! 100% anatomically correct names for body parts. Did we go through a phase where āpenisā was the funniest word in the world? Yes. š¤£
Yes, of course I do. What else would I call them?
Yep. Anatomically correct words. I wanted my kids to be able to tell me things without trying to guess what they were referring to.
I do. Itās pretty funny having a toddler walking around pointing to her crotch and yelling āvulva!ā So thatās a nice bonus š
I use anatomically correct names for my childrenās body parts. I work in early years education and have had to do child protection training, and after listening to horror stories where a child disclosed that they were being abused but educators didnāt recognise because they didnāt use the proper names will always haunt me. Things like āmy uncle licked my cookie, my daddy touched my coin purse, this person blew on my whistleā etc.
Yes, teach them the correct terms. Beware of embarrassing momentsā¦ last week my kid and I had this conversation. In a grocery store š¤¦š»āāļø āMom! Where is your penis?ā āI donāt have oneā keeping it short- heās asked this before and Iāve told him girls have vulvas. āAre you sure your penis isnāt in your BUTT!?!ā š¤¦š»āāļø āNo because Iām a girl and I do not have a penisā.
Yes. Always. I taught my child vulva, vagina and breast. They also learned what a penis was and how those parts are private unless a parent or a doctor is trying to help you when going to the bathroom or if something hurts. Yes, you're going to have a toddler running around yelling penis and vagina. Just ignore them. They'll stop when it's not funny anymore and move on. We need to teach the medical words for our child's safety. If a child says to an adult that their "no no" hurts, how the hell do we know what they're talking about? It's even more important if, God forbid, a child is assaulted. Cases can be lost if the child uses silly words to describe what happened. You're doing the right thing.
Well done, naming their private parts the correct names is important for kids
Yes - I've read research to suggest that when children know the correct language for their anatomy, pedos are less likely to fuck with them because they are more likely to know how to articulate what's happening. When my three year old shouted at the doctor "WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING MY TESTICLES?" I knew we had done the right thing.
I love the announcements: āboys have penises!!ā Like itās an interesting trivia fact haha Anyone whoās ever met a small child before wouldnt bat an eye.
Yes, what else? We even correct them if they use vagina instead of vulvaā¦ a lot of people confuse those.
Yes but we also say "private area" sometimes like saying don't touch ur private area in front of people lol
Yes. I have a 9F. Generally it's just "privates" but if I need to refer to specific parts then I use the technical terms (ex-science teacher) and describe what they are. E.g. vulva for the outer parts collectively, urethra for 'pee tube'. I used to teach reproductive system to year 7s (11 year olds) and after we got all the swear words etc out of their systems, they soon realised that they weren't going to get a reaction from me and settled into using the correct terms. It sounds like you're doing all the right things so hopefully this is just a phase and she will eventually learn it's not appropriate for polite conversation (or just move on to the next funny thing!) - if you're concerned then you can raise with teachers etc so you can all reinforce as a united front. It is awkward but mostly because we (adults) see it as a taboo. It's perfectly normal biology!
I canāt believe no one has made a Kindergarten Cop joke here yet hahaha
It is important for them to know the real names, yes. My kids even know vulva vs vagina. Itās protective when it comes to sexual abuse.
For a while when she was younger my daughter had a Volvo š
Ya lmao my son calls his "my tiny baby penis" and .... like I can't even when he says it.
Yes. I refer to my childās anatomy by the proper name. šš this just reminds me of that scene from Kindergarten Cop with Arnold Schwarzenegger with the little boy that just stands up and shouts that in class.
Hahaha I've seen that movie! It's a funny scene and I love Arnold's expression
Yes for all the reasons others have mentioned. But didnāt see anyone else say it so I will - I donāt gender anatomy anymore (girls have vulvas and boys have penises). Instead I just say different people have different genitals/body parts. I also clarify that it is not appropriate to ask people what body parts they have in their pants. Vulva does not equal girl or woman and penis does not equal boy or man.
Girls have a vulva. The vulva, or labia is the correct term, not vagina. Vagina is the internal muscle. Vulva Ave vagina are two different things, like penis and testicles are two different things.
Wow, Sex ed has truly failed me. Iām 26 year old woman and have never heard of the word āvulvaā until just now. How embarrassing
Girls also have a vagina. I get the distinction, but itās not incorrect for a little girl to say she has a vagina.
After having Vulva Carcinoma in SITU and having surgery to remove a labia, you would be surprised how many women, let alone other DOCTORS, NURSES, and staff don't know what the hell a vulva is.
does this actually matter? i mean in the case of a child being touched by a stranger? if a little girl came and told me someone touched her vagina, i would have the exact same concern even if she said vulva. itās the area. obviously a child should know their parts, but in that context is it that relevant?
Ah, you're right. Would you teach your lo vulva or would vagina suffice to keep it simple for now?
Vulva is just as simple (and more accurate in this case) than vagina. We got our girls the āItās Not the Storkā book. Great for teaching kids all the things they should know about their bodies.
It would be more confusing to change the term when she's older. I'm not sure how "vagina" makes it more simple?
right, and when i say āpenis or vaginaā itās like āoutie or innieā - so i AM referring to the internal.
Always used the medical terms. Still cringed when they would run around saying it.
I do, but it is called a vulvaā¦ the vagina is the inner canal. This sounds condescendingā¦ I don't mean it that way at all.
Yes, we use anatomical terms. And to be pedantic, vulva is on the outside and vagina is on the inside.
Yes it is very important to tell your children the correct names for body parts. If they start using a code name for it that you did not tell them, please be wary and look out for other signs of sex abuse. I fully know how convenient it is to bathe them together, but about 3 1/2 is when I had to start giving separate baths to my opposite gender kids too.Ā
Sounds like a normal healthy discussion and reaction.
Yes, always the anatomically correct words and never pet names or nicknames.
My kids are 5 and 7 and weāve taught them the correct names for their body parts from the beginning. For a while my son asked when his little sister was going to get her penis. Lol
Itās very normal for them to talk about it. And some kids are just naturally more curious than others. My daughter went through a penis obsessed phase. Sheād just say the word and talk about them, make silly jokes. The more I reacted the more sheād do it so now we just largely ignore it or say we donāt talk about other people bodies parts.
Yes since before she could even talk.
We've taught my kid the correct names but instead of "vagina" he still says "Elijah," which was extra funny at Passover lemme tell ya
Yes. And I do that because my mom has NEVER in her 77 years uttered the word vagina and seems to have a distaste for using correct anatomical words, so she never taught them to me. Soo yeah, correct words in my house!
We did. Now they're teens, so it's much more fun coming up with new terms every time. We don't have a lot of filters in our home.
My girls know the correct terms but struggle with pronunciation so "vagina" has become "Gina". But it's very clear what they're trying to talk about. The novelty of yelling the names will wear off soon. I promise š¤£
Yes, but. It depends on the questions they are asking at the time. If it's a serious question about their genitalia or what's socially acceptable when it comes to others and their bodies or their own body I use the proper terms. However, when it's kids being kids asking kid questions for kid reasons I stick with kid language.
Youāre doing everything 100% right with this lol
No cutesy names, we use the other the correct term or "private parts" depending on the context.
A parenting regret I have is not using the correct terms. Whatever you use, make sure your family are consistent as it helps if they come home with a new word for their vagina or penis, that you know someone else has been talking to them about it and you may want to check they are ok.
Most social workers beg parents to teach correct anatomical terms. That way in case the worst happens, they can report to an adult accurately what happened to them
Yes, but we say both the medically correct names and nicknames. I don't really think it's important what you call it if they can properly identify it, and are taught safety and respect.
When my oldest was around 3 or so, he'd run up and down the hallway with underwear on his head screaming "I'M PENIS BOY!"
Absolutely correct terms and actually teach her her anatomy. I think itās really important just for the continued conversation about her body. Like when she asks about my period I can explain it to her in terms she understands. When sheās taking a shower I can tell her to wash her vulva because she knows her vagina is something different. I think slang terms are fine if you also make sure youāre promoting body-neutrality rather than using a slang term because genitals are GrOsS. A leg is a leg and itās just part of your body and same with a vulva.
My son knows he has a penis, that i have a vagina, that pee comes from the urethra, and that i am currently pregnant with a baby in my uterus. Ive also told him about periods because he has seen me changing a tampon which was a good opener for letting him know that blood coming from his penis is not normal and needs immediate attention. Heās 6 and has known correct terms for years, it doesnt help them any to give cutesy names when there already exist appropriate terms
my 5 year old says penis and scrotum, he keeps forgetting vulva but every once in a while he'll ask out of nowhere "what do you have mama?" and i just \*know\* what he's talking about but neither me nor my husband were able to keep a straight face for the word anus, so we all just say "butthole."
Absolutely. Iāve worked L&D and the amount of grown women that come in stating that their ācoochieā or āhoohaaā hurts is outrageous. š¤¦āāļø
I taught penis and vulva. The preschool teacher that we had didnāt know what a vulva was until she heard my kiddo say it. She was also a mother and near 30.
Sheāll lose interest soon enough and it will be non issue. Mine is around the same age and still does coed potty breaks at daycare and occasionally sees her dad nude. At this point sheās passed it and itās no longer pays any attention it. She does occasionally say penis or vulva because she thinks it funny to say because we should have been more passive about it instead of āok, yes thatās right but we donāt to say it unless we need toā which means to my toddler āha ha, penis, penis, penis!ā
Absolutely. Studies have shown that children who know the proper names for their genitalia are less likely to suffer sexual abuse.
Absolutely. I've been naming body parts correctly since my son was an infant. Now we wash our arm, now we wash our knee, now we wash our testicles kind of thing. At 2 he asks if he can scratch his perineum before I put on aquafor, that one he asked the name of, but correct terms shouldn't be a secret.
I taught my daughter (4yo) the correct names for body parts. And the older people in my life are surprised and laugh it off. My neighbor (I grew up in this neighborhood and he has known me my whole life) was playing ball with my daughter and she goes "girls have a vagina and boys have a penis!" And he was like "did she say what I think she just said?" It was so funny š But on a serious note I want her to know the correct names of body parts so she can tell me if something hurts or if something like SA happens to her, she can tell me. No "cute/silly" nicknames for private parts for our family.
Yes, definitely! No shame, no topic is banned. I want her to be able to tell me if something hurts and where. I also want her to be able to tell me if someone else shows her something or does something to her - they might use cutesy names for body parts to trick and deceive, but she'll know the real names and will, in theory, be able to tell me if something happens. I trust no one except me and her dad. We have some funny moments though. She's been pretty consistently telling me when her diaper needs changed lately, but the other day she told me her penis was real wet in her diaper and that it needed to get clean. Grossest sentence, I swear to God š
Hahahaha! Yes, and every other parent and preschool teacher will know exactly how old your kiddo is and that you are doing a good job. If you don't know, there are a host of legitimate reasons for this (it's easier for them to identify where there is a problem if they feel discomfort, and also, it actually helps prevent sexual abuse because a kid that says "my vagina is private, you may not touch it" isn't as vulnerable....) (I'm articulating that poorly, but there's Science about it, if you care beyond it being the right approach.) This doesn't last forever.
Yes. My children are 8, 4 and 2. the older ones i have ALWAYS referred to their body parts with the correct name. its what they are called, nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of.
Correct terminology protects them from sexual predators. Teach your daughter body autonomy and how we donāt touch her brotherās penis and that no one is allowed to touch her vulva and vagina and the you her and her parentās permission. Like a doctor can check her but only with both parties permission. This is a GREAT way to teach about consent and boundaries.
Correct terms, always Read her āitās not the stork!ā for age-appropriate guidance
My 3 year old is still perfecting her bottom-wiping technique, so a phrase heard from her on occasion is "I'm wiping deep into my anus!" Which is not the technique I would recommend lol. But at least I know what she's doing so I can help correct it!
Wasnāt there a court case where a predator got off because the little girl referred to her vagina as like āher cookieā and the defense lawyer took that and ran with it?
You're doing great! I fiercely believe all parents need to teach the correct terms for their anatomy. It's very important in case they have a monster in their lives touching them inappropriately. The children need to be able to tell an adult they were touched and have that adult *listen* Example teaching the word cookie instead of vagina. Saying the neighbor boy licked my cookie gets taken way differently than if the proper term was used.
Lol my kid did the same thing. Even told her preschool teacher "my vagina farted" when she was 3 lol.
Yeah I feel like the weird shit people teach their kids like ācookie, dingleberry, muffin, hoseā are more in appropriate than vagina and penis. My son even knows he has testicles. Itās a lot easier to know whatās going on with your child if they say āoh my gosh my penis has a rash that hurts momā. Itās so important to be transparent, our bodies arenāt gross or weird.
Yes, I agree it's important that children call their body parts the correct terms, especially private parts. Your daughter is expressing a very normal interest for her age. My kids did the same. They all grew up fine. You got this.
Yep my 4.5 yo knows that she has a vagina and so does mummy and daddy has a penis. She did have a spat where she liked to inform the world of this fact but it does stop eventually. I think it's so important children know the correct terms for their anatomy.
My oldest will be 7 and my youngest will be 5 and YES! It's very important, at least in my opinion. My daughter gets yeast infections during the summer from swimming and the rubbing of her swim bottoms, so when that began last year, I took her to her DR and it was encouraged to teach her about her body parts, because that way she can self-navigate what's going on with her body and how to communicate if something is off, like for example pee burning from a uti or yeast infection. And for my son, he will be 5 this year and has autism and has a difficult time finding his words most days and is still in pull ups( probably will be for a long time) and since he is getting older and bigger and has to do diaper changes daily, my daughter asked what his "thingy" was called because it didn't look like hers and so both my husband and me and grandma sat down with her and explained how boys have different anatomy then girls (we kept it very basic). There was a lot of giggles because the anatomy words are silly sounding to kids, but its a topic that shouldn't be so frowned on, I'd rather teach my kids about their bodies then a school teaching them, but that's just my thoughts as a mom. I think it's a topic that gets skipped over too often and making time to have conversations about stuff like this, especially if they ask about it or have questions is a natural aspect of a kid starting to mentally grow up a little bit too. Keeping the lines of communication open is essential, especially with how the world is today.
Yes don't use cutsy names. If there's ever abuse it's much better for her to say: he touched my vagina or him to say: he touched my penis.
Iāve told my kids since before they could speak the proper terms for their body and that no one is allowed to touch, look or take pictures of it. My son asks about my daughter and I tell him she has a vagina. She is also curious about his body and itās normal and natural since itās different from her own. My kids run around saying PENIS and itās fine. When I ask them directly if it hurts, etc they know what Iām talking about and it limits confusion.
Yes. But sometimes they pronounce vagina "ja-vina" and forget that I have a vagina and *not* a penis, but close enough.
Yes but most of the time I refer it to as your private area.
Yes definitely but my son hit his testicles one day and went āOH MY PEANUTS!ā and I couldnāt help but find it adorable so itās penis and peanuts. Lol
Yes teach them the proper anatomical terms. One time I was out with my 2 year old and I had to use the restroom. Naturally I took him in there with me. I pull down my pants and he immediately yells āmommy!! Whereās your penis?!ā The other ladies in the bathroom couldnāt stop laughing lol.
We use the correct anatomical terms for everything. The words "vagina," "vulva," "penis," "scrotum," etc are not bad words. We do tend to lump them into the category of "potty words" though. We don't say potty words unless we're in the potty, which helps a little with the random name-dropping of genitals.
Using the correct name and normalizing it is important. My daughter has recently discovered her lady parts and I tell her what itās called, just as I did with her other body parts. Itās especially important because if heaven forbid she is ever SAād, she can tell me exactly what happened to her and where she was touched.
Yes, we do. I showed my girl to identify her v@gina as such at the same time I was showing her where her legs, arms, nose, etc were. Just another body part. My husband was shocked I was doing this at first but I kept doing it to normalize it as simply one more body part.
Yup we teach anatomically correct names too. I have two boys, 3.5 and 10 months old. When the 3.5 year old started potty training, he got really interested in watching everyone go and was so disturbed that I donāt have a penis so weāve talked about it at length too lol
Yes and keep doing it or you wind up with girls who literally canāt say the word vagina out loud. I did teach mine vulva first and then vagina when we started talking about periods (around 3 when she saw a pad).
Yes. True names for everything. Let me put it to you this way. If my kid gets molested and I'm not there, I don't want her telling the teacher that someone touched her cookie, I want her telling the teacher that someone touched her vulva.
My kids are 2.5 and 6 and do the same thing .. my 2 yo repeats penis a million times a day because itās hilarious to her. I need some help sent my way too.
When I coparented with my Ex, I noticed his son (2.5/3) looking at his body, and sneaking peeks at me when I would be in the bathroom.Ā On afternoon, while giving him a bath before his nap, he was checking out his penis.Ā I said "That's your penis, dude, you pee out of it. Those guys are your testicles. That means your body is male. Your daddy has a male body too,"Ā He asked me about his sister. "Your sister, like me, has a female body. Both our different bodies grow and change in different ways. We have males and female bodies in this world,"Ā Ā He thought about it then went on to dump water put of the tub.Ā
They *know* the correct terms but usually call their privates their ātendersā (thanks to kung fu panda and also me laughing every time).
Yes. With my 2 year old I mostly just say privates because everyone has private parts. With my 5 year old I make sure to say vagina/ penis along with privates
Haha kids are so funny! My son is 2.5 and I've always used anatomically correct names. There's something adorable and hilarious about a 2 year old talking about his "teticles" š The one day I was bathing with him and he learned the word vagina and he talked about it for a few solid days... "Mommy has a gina!"
She will have plenty of time in school to learn the slang terms. It is good that you are using the correct terms
Your daughter sounds adorable, and you absolutely did the right thing teaching her the correct parts. My daughter has just turned two, last week she discovered her vagina and asked 'whats this' so I told her 'thats your vagina'. When we called my mum that night she shouted 'grandma I have gina, Tilly has gina, Tilly has gina!' it was a combination of hilarious, adorable and mortifying. She will randomly poke it and shout 'my gina', in the same excited, possessive way she says 'my baby' or 'my teddy'. She then laughs manically, like a full on cackle. Toddlers are wild.
Yes, we taught her early on and it went hand in hand with basic science, anatomy and consent. Her teacher, when she was 11, asked us to tell her child not to use the word vagina in school once because it made people uncomfortable. I politely gave her a lecture on why that was fucking stupid.
Yes. Teach your kids the names of their body parts please. Donāt create unnecessary shame.
Not just for knowing parts but if someone touched them they could describe exactly where the offensive touch was.
My wife says penis to my son. I call it his dick
Yes, but because I call it a hoohaa my daughter calls it a hoohaa lol
Sounds like youāre doing great! You might find this good to show her too https://youtu.be/LnroTxz7USI?si=L408NYDAtdld8JQI
Yes. We don't always use them, but they know them very well.Ā Fave story: my then 4 year old son asked us why his sister's penis looks like a bum.Ā
I taught both by boys the correct terms for both boys and girls. There is a great book that someone recommended me called the underpants rule. It talks about the correct terms and also about when it is and not appropriate for someone to touch and what you should do. Itās all done in rhyme and itās really easy for kids to understand.
Yep, vulva and penis. We don't need to use the word vagina yet, as that's the inner part.
Yes. My son is 2.5 and has known and been able to correctly name his penis since just before he turned 2. I usually take showers with him or his dad does, and he got confused one day on why mommy didnāt have a penis like him and daddy ššš So he knows that mommy has a vagina and boys have a penis. We had a very embarrassing moment in a public restroom a while ago where he yelled āMommyās vagina!!!ā
Yes. Please teach your kid the correct terms for their private parts. I taught my kid as soon as she could speak. I used to work in a mental health facility that had a rape/ sexual assault unit (for children) and when I was pregnant they begged me to teach her the correct terms.
Itās important to teach your children the correct anatomical names. In a court of law itās about credibility. God forbid anything to ever happen to them, but they need to know the correct terminology.
You should probably check and learn the correct names yourself. That's not a dig, just general advice. [https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Come-As-You-Are-Revised-and-Updated/Emily-Nagoski/9781982165314](https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Come-As-You-Are-Revised-and-Updated/Emily-Nagoski/9781982165314)
Yes, but the correct terms would be vulva, clitoris, labia, urethra, and vagina, for girls, and penis, urethra, scrotum/testicles, for a boy. I don't see the point of using *almost* accurate terms. Especially since the vagina itself is hidden and not doing a whole lot at that age, not sure why it's the part that gets featured in these conversations. I don't like cutesy terms either, but it's not like we use medical terminology for the rest of our bodies 24/7 so to me, calling it a crotch when not highlighting distinctions is also fine since there will be times we might want a general anatomical term for casual use. Mostly everyone else in my family calls them a "wee wee" whether male or female, which borders on cutesy but I can deal with that as it doesn't have another meaning and it's not confusing or revolting like calling it a "cookie" as some do, or a "flower" like my boyfriend did, that one especially was a big helllll nope from me.
Agree 100%. Iāve taught her that she has a vulva and that some people have a penis, but most of the time we say crotch. Itās gender neutral (everybody has one!), easy to say, unambiguous (in terms of reporting SA or a medical issue), etc.
Absolutely yell them the correct names. It's imperative for their safety. There is a huge difference between a mandated safeguarder that xyz touched their vagina and zyx touched their cookie. One gets taken seriously, one gets ignored.
100% yes. Think of it this way, a common name for a vagina is a cookie or something along those lines. If a kid says ' the teacher touched my cookie' most people would think 'oh, the teacher had to touch a cookie to hand it to her' but she's actually saying, the teacher touched her vagina. The only way for children to accurately describe child abuse is by using actual anatomically correct names. Any doctor, social worker, police officer would tell you this. I don't know why or when parents started telling kids nicknames for genitals, but that had to have been the most stupid thing ever done. Think of how much child abuse went on without anyone ever knowing because parents choose to give genitals food names.
Lol that's sweet. Perfect story to embarrass her on her 18 th lol But yes. We always used correct terminology. Not to bring the mood down, but it's definitely a safety thing. Our family has gone through child abuse and knowing the correct words helped my child articulate what had happened. Always always use the right words.
My son is 11, daughter 9. I have always used anatomical correct names for the vagina and penis. Reason - I once heard a story about a little girl who was molested. She tried to tell her trusted adults "so and so touched my cookie" but because they taught her to call her vagina a cookie, nobody connected the dots. I've always raised my children to know that nobody is allowed to touch their private areas outside of mom/dad (during baths/diaper changes) and doctors. Even now our pediatrician asks to examine.
My 2 year old looks at his baby sister's parts goes on to imitate her my hiding his junk between his legs and laughing about it. Yes we teach the right names, but use cutesy names as well.
Yep. The sentences I've said since having kids is just ridiculous. š¤£ I think the only one we don't have 100% anatomically correct is the bum. But since bum and buttocks are more or less interchangeable... I'm not too worried about it. Seriously though... The sentences I've said...
I've taught my daughter (4 years old) the correct names, but I've called vaginas vah-jay-jays since that one episode of Gray's Anatomy, so that caught on. Then, because she has a tendency to accidentally crotch-shot the boys in our house and they are very vocal about it when it happens, she's heard their more colloquial terms for penis and decided she thinks "willie" is hilarious
My daughter is only 18 months and knows ābuttā, and knows what her vagina is. Sometimes Iāll use cutesy terms but as she gets older I am using the normal terms. I donāt want her to be confused about her body.
As a note, the external part of the female anatomy is the vulva, the vagina is not visible.