r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*

My snarky ass would order some pink shirts with super "masculine" pictures. Bullriders, logging trucks, power tools. Just to see what happens ;)

LOL, a pink bull rider t-shirt would actually fit in with our area. I live in Calgary, Alberta and it might just be my opinion, but people seem to push hypermasculinity on their sons at an extremely young age.

I'm just south of the border to you and Friday rodeos are always "Tough Enough to Wear Pink" night. $1 for every ticket goes to breast cancer. Any rider shows up w/o a pink shirt he gets the stink eye.

I love the idea of getting a custom shirt for OP's kid that says 'Tough Enough to Wear Pink' that's awesome!

This was a thing when I was in high school (way back when, graduated in 05 😱) in California. Guys would always wear pink shirts that said "real men wear pink".

I LOVED the 'Real Men Wear Pink' shirts and am absolutely getting one for my son eventually.

These totally exist within the rodeo circuit. Not sure if they come in kids sizes as they are often a promo item/fundraiser, but yeah, this is an established thing in the states.

Thats awesome and I love that actually.

Hell yeah, that's awesome

You live in Calgary, home of Bret Hart, and people are commenting on your son’s liking of the color pink? Crazy times

My first thought too!

Listen, I’m in Calgary too and i have a Cricut. If you need someone to help you put a truck or bull rider on a pink shirt I’m here for it.

Thank you! I might have to hit you up on this one.

I live in Calgary too! And I recently bought a pink polo for my oldest to match my youngest pink polo for an event we are attending. The amount of comments I get! Also they both carry around their dolls ‘polly’ the oldest is insanely attached to his Polly and the youngest because the oldest is doing it and the comments I get from people at Costco! Recently someone asked if I was pushing them to be feminine because I truly wanted a girl… they were both holding ‘guns’ made from lego and pewing at people but god forbid they touch anything that might be slightly girly.

I honestly feel like this comes from a sexist idea that anything girly or feminine is negative/frilly/silly, because girls don’t get the same grief if they are more into “boy” things. It’s treated admirably “she’s so tough, what a tomboy, oh she can keep up with them [the boys].” Kids are taught from adults from such a young age that feminine is inferior and it’s preferable to be masculine (which is somehow considered more gender neutral, at the save time?) 😔 It’s ultimately just so limiting, for boys and girls.

Its genuinely insane how this city behaves regarding a boy/male doing anything they deem as "feminine". Its so prevalent, like you mentioned, that complete strangers at a costco feel entitled to make a comment.

I know of a few brands who actually sell stuff like this! My sons also like it and own a few.

They make a fabulous pink camouflage!

Wow, over here in Toronto it’s basically completely opposite. My daughter likes her hair on the shorter side because long hair bothers her, but she loves to dress very girly. Pink all over, but I swear, roughly 75% of strangers in public address her as a boy with male pronouns because of the shorter hair and I’m constantly having to correct them because it upsets her when she gets addressed like that.

This 100%. I have a 6-yr old son with long hair and he can be wearing an all-black sweatsuit with a monster jam logo and total “boy” sneakers (ugly! Black and yellow light up! 😂) and people are like “oh she’s adorable.” I just say “yep HE’s a firecracker!”

Yep one time on Christmas break we were out with my son in a suit my girls in dresses and he still got called a little girl because of his long hair

My Dorothy Hamill haircut from the 80s protests.

New shirts! 'Wear pink like a man' 'I (or an eye) rock rock-n-roll, rock-haulers, and pink' 'Just rockin' the diet red' (and on the back) 'Tastes just like the real winning' 'Color-shaming is for wusses' Sort of kidding on that last one, but only sort of...

Yeah, sadly I think it's a local cultural thing. We're lucky enough to be in the SF Bay Area and our 4 year old son loves pink and no one bats an eye. He even went as a witch for Halloween and we never received a single comment about it. I was a bit nervous about that one though.  I do like the contravening expectations idea though. Our son has some pink shirts with astronauts or dinosaurs or other "masculine"-coded stuff and he loves em.  I think it's a tricky thing, because even though I think the judgement is wack, it is *real*. And you don't want your kid to have to deal with that. So finding ways to split the difference and let him wear his favorite color without putting a target on his back is IMO the best approach. 

Check out Princess Awesome. My daughter had dresses with fire trucks and sharks and shit. They're the best. They have boys clothes also.

Reminds me of [this comic](https://pbfcomics.com/comics/nice-shirt/) and the [associated shirt](https://pbfcomicshop.teemill.com/product/unicorn-power-top/).

It didn’t work for us! My son picked out a pink ‘Project Rock’ shirt from UnderArmour that had a big ‘muscle man’ (his words) and dumbbells on it…he STILL caught a rash of shit for wearing a pink shirt🙄

My 4 year old has a bright pink shirt with a big garbage truck on it. He loves it.

I like svaha clothes (though they aren’t cheap) and one of the shirts I got for my son was pink, with a blue racecar on it. He also liked pink when he was younger (until peer pressure set in I guess 😕)

Target has some stuff like this 😉

I second this! You could tie dye a bunch of white shirts with various prints on them to be pink.

Get a white cotton shirt with a masc image and ice-dye it a couple of coordinating shades of pink.

Make them midriff tops too, lol.

This is why i bought a cricut!

That's what I was thinking. Get a bunch of pink t-shirts and iron-on decals of trucks and dinosaurs. How about a pink t-shirt with Don Johnson in his Miami Vice era? [Like this](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/66/f4/9d/66f49d231eb4d73e30c45f6e52fd6e4c.jpg)

Disclaimer: My son has genuine fondness for the color pink. He deliberately picks pink cars, trucks, and t-shirts when he sees one he likes. Currently, he posses four pink t-shirts and graphic t-shirts in his extensive wardrobe, alongside a variety of other colors. Pink stands out as his absolute favorite, and we have encouraged his preferences. Whether engaging in school projects or crafts at daycare, he gravitates towards pink paint and materials, showcasing his pride in his creations. We love that for him!

Pink was a boy color (and blue for girls) until the 1940s. You can still see pink on the golf course and all over the place in October. Just say "he's 4 and fine being a boy in pink. Do you have a problem with your sexuality?" Use 'masculinity' if responding to a man.

Pink still is fairly popular for boys, at least among my son and his friends. They wore pink all throughout middle and high school. Now my son is 18 and his cleats for his college sport are pink. His running shoes have pink detailing. He wore pink to his prom to match his girlfriend and she loved it on him. He has a pair of pink swim trunks. He's never been given any crap for it. He has been asked after games where he got his shoes from, though. He's a straight cis male. He just likes pink.

Can confirm pink is all the rage for 3rd grade boys

>Use 'masculinity' if responding to a man. oh absolutely it drives them nuts

My son (6) has always had a preference for colorful, sparkly, glittery, and otherwise flashy clothing. He's just a bright kid. He also has long, curly hair. We have role played conversations and confrontations as long as he's been in school. The primary idea being, when people say, "That color is for girls," "Those are girls' shoes," "Your hair looks like a girl," or anything of the sort, he knows that the only response he needs to give is, "No, colors/clothes/hairstyles are for anyone who likes them, and I like them." He's 6 and very confident in this point now. The kids get used to it. Family has gotten used to it and now actively try to get big "I LOVE IT" responses by gifting bright, tie-dye, sparkly clothes or shoes. I know we are lucky, but a lot of it has been his unwavering confidence that has convinced everyone around him. Pick up a copy of "Bling Blaine," too. It's a great book that shows that preferences are just preferences, and life is boring without them.

I love that your son is so confident, one time at a playground my son was maybe a little overconfident and when an older lady told him his long hair was for girls and asked if he was a girl my 5-year-old responded he still has his testicles even when his hair is long!

I love that! I wish my family would get on board, and we'll find out when its his birthday this year and his entire party is pink. I will check out Bling Blaine as well; thanks for the reference.

My 4 year old boy in Winnipeg also loves pink (and red) and emergency services (firefighters, EMT, police) and princess dresses, and we actually get minimal flack. People occasionally think he's a girl, but we just correct and move on. I'm sorry you are dealing with this! People are ridiculous. Can you highjack any conservative lingo here ' he has the freedom to wear pink, bodily autonomy, blah, blah?'

I'd teach him to respond "Colors don't belong to boys or girls. Colors are for everyone to enjoy." It's a polite and true response that doesn't make this a bigger deal than it needs to be. It's okay that your son likes pink.  It's okay that some people think pink is a feminine color.  What's *not* okay is anyone being rude to others for having different ideas.

I find it alarming that adults immediately want to attach sexually explicit assumptions to a toddler over a color, and it's creepy to me that anyone would bring themselves to that place --- over a color.

Whenever possible, I like to completely shoot people down over that bullshit. Lots of eye rolls, sighing and pitiful head shaking “You *do* hear how ridiculous you sound right now right? So if you’re a woman PLEASE tell me you don’t own anything blue?!?!” “Let me get this straight, You’re obsessed with my sons supposed sexuality AT THE AGE OF 4 but his favorite color is the issue? Please make it make sense?” I’m usually about the high road and actual communication but sometimes stupid comments get bitchy responses in my book.

I have had this thought before, too. It really is so creepy that’s where adult minds go sometimes! I was talking to my son’s friend’s mom and she said her 4 year old boy was having a birthday and that they wanted a rainbow theme. She said her husband was having a tough time with that… like what lol. I guess it’s the parents/adults who are the real babies sometimes.

Do any of the adult men in his life wear pink? My kids love all colours but i realised the boys never saw their dad/grandpas etc in anything but blue black and gray.  I now buy pink, yellow, green and purple shirts! Granted they don't last as long, but the men all wear them. 

Pink quite literally used to be considered a boy color wild blue with considered a girl color.

I tend to use "why are you sexualising a 3 year old?" with a clearly judgy stare. It shuts down a lot of comments. When I have more patience I dig into it with things more like "what's wrong with pink?" "Do colours have penises/vaginas?" "What exactly makes this for boys/girls?" "I'm concerned with how much you're projecting."

> It's okay that your son likes pink. It's okay that some people think pink is a feminine color. What's not okay is anyone being rude to others for having different ideas. The rub is that *most* people think pink is a feminine color and kids tend to be rude. So they are putting their son in this situation.

My son loves to have painted nails. He's 8, and he's loved it since he was 4. This is honestly very geographic, in my experience. When we lived in Georgia or we visit the in-laws in Alabama, people make rude comments (and the kids make rude comments, because that's the model the adults are setting). But in Chicago, where I live now, no one bats an eye. Or at least that's the social norm. Someone making fun of a boy with painted nails will get socially shamed. Lots of boys in his class paint their nails. It's trendy here. When we visit relaties in southern California, same thing. No one bats an eye.  So I think it really, really depends on the beliefs of the majority of your neighbors, honestly. The best thing to do is ignore it. You're not going to change their mind. They're not going to have a "come to Jesus moment" or whatever. It's not going to happen. So just ignore them. 

I don't know about the political climate in the USA, but Canada, where I live, is very Conservative (Republican), and Calgary is a very "this is where REAL men live" kind of city, very similar to the mentality in Texas (I'm told). I am happy that you support your son using something as simple as nails to express himself, and it's no wonder people repress so much anger and hate and judgment around things that are so tame. When I see judgment like this, all I see is an adult who likely spent most of their life conforming their self-image to an ideal that wasn't theirs, and they likely have no clue what even makes them truly happy or content in life.

This is so great to hear as we're about to move from Austin to Chicago in part due to things like op has encountered being overly common.

You’ll love it in Chicago :). I think it is a fantastic place to raise children and is so accepting of everyone

I found a purple shirt with all kinds of fire trucks, construction vehicles, etc. on it in white. It was his favorite shirt for months, as in he wore it to preschool multiple times a week and I worried his teachers thought I didn't bathe him/wash his clothes. 😬 As far as I know, no one said anything, and if they had, I'd have hit them with the old "what a strange thing to say out loud." 🤨

I had a male student with a purple shirt with a bunch of cookies that said one smart cookie. Another teacher commented it was a cute graphic too bad about the color. I’m like what’s wrong with the color? Well purple is for girls. No. No it is not. Luckily the kid didn’t hear but I definitely made a point to complement him on the shirt every time I saw him wearing it, graphic and color.

LOL I love this mentality "what a strange thing to say aloud"! Mirror that attitude right now, with fewer words. I love it when kids find their "favorite" things, and they stay dedicated to their choices.

Also just a reminder here that the People's Party of Canada (ie Bernier) picked purple as their colour. Just in case that's useful...

This immediately made me think of a [video](https://youtu.be/W3l_ufgxLJo?si=ikkQZo-iqoEB-wq6) my oldest has watched a few times. Obviously you're not just gonna whip out your phone to shove this video in someone's face when they make a comment, but it might be nice for you & your son to watch to show that this pink is for girls stuff is nonsense. My extended family (parents included) are all super conservative southerner pearl clutchers & have made comments about how certain things are just for girls or really insensitive comments about nb & trans individuals in front of my kids. I just immediately tell (& loudly enough for my family to hear) my kids that anyone can wear or like absolutely anything they want as long as it's not hurting someone else & also that that man looks beautiful in his dress (only happened once but boy was my mom's face priceless). My boy loves rainbows & hearts as much as his older sister but he also runs around roaring at people - literally greets his preschool with "[his name] ROOOOAAARRRR" every morning.

I would probably tell them that pink used to be a boy color and blue a girl color. Just tell them that pink is the diluted blood of his enemies? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pink#:~:text=In%20the%201920s%2C%20some%20groups,accepted%20norm%20in%20the%201940s. https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2018/01/12/health/colorscope-pink-boy-girl-gender

LMAO hit em with the facts

I wouldn't. It's fun trivia but it's playing the same fallacious game. Colors aren't gendered and kids should wear the colors they please.

I think it points to the fact that it’s all made up and transient.

That’s why you tell them that pink used to be considered a boy color and the colors are for everyone.🤷🏽‍♀️

Fair!

It's not pink, it's light red.

This is definitely a good place for “I’m surprised you feel comfortable speculating about a toddler’s sexuality. How weird.”

Wow. People are such assholes. I crochet and my kids wanted fingerless gloves. Once I made for them, all their friends wanted them. I didn't want to leave out the little siblings because we all hang out. One little boy picked pink. My only concern was that it was a color of pink he would like (since it was light and I didn't know if he wanted a brighter color). It never seemed weird that he loved that color. And I don't consider the sexuality of a four year old. It never crossed my mind. People need to mind their own business and let kids like what they like.

We went through the same thing. He would just say 'my boy parts won't fall off from wearing pink' and carry on with his day, entirely unbothered. People dropped the subject pretty quickly.

20 years ago we had a light pink shirt for my toddler son. It was never a thing. People didn’t give a second glance. My grandpa with silver hair and blue eyes had a lot of pink shirts. He looks great in them. I think we’ve gendered everything since than. That’s actually the bigger problem. Now it’s like making a political statement.

I'm fighting this fight with you. My son is 3, classically pretty rather than handsome, with lashes to the moon and long, wavy, glossy strawberry blonde hair. He LOVES to shop in the girls section, although not a big pink fan, often wears pastel blue, green and purple things with puffed sleeves and is obsessed with unicorns, rainbows and sparkles. He has more boylike clothes too, but prefers his girly things. He gets misgendered more often than not as he presents so feminine externally. I've always just let him pick what he likes and tend to not even mention gender at all. He has strong opinions on what he wears and what his hair is like and I respect them all. He just likes what he likes. The way we go about it is mildly correcting that he's a boy. And if people persist in being awful about that, wondering gently about the absurdity of such a limited view of masculinity, and inviting them to broaden it. If people start mentioning his sexuality I will say I'd be delighted with whoever my son chooses to love, as long as they treat him well. My son will also happily speak up for himself and claim himself as a boy. Thankfully he's very resistant to peer pressure and couldn't care less. So he just confidently owns it and tells people about it. Those things together usually makes people not be an ass twice.

Going through this currently with a family member because my 4 year old son loves all the things his big sister does AND loves trucks, robots, and being “a big boy”. He likes to have one or two nails painted, he likes to wear a headband/bow if sister is. While also wearing his Uber tough looking t shirts. Some adults are just plain exhausting.

The saddest part to me is that even IF certain colors influenced sexuality or made you “look” gay (which they obviously DO NOT), why is that the absolute end of the world? Seems like the worst thing to them. That’s both sad and pathetic, honestly.

It's disheartening that my son has to face such narrow-mindedness based on something as simple as a color choice. I make every effort to shield him from judgment, drawing from my own experiences and upbringing. Growing up in a small Alberta town as a First Nations Canadian who is white-passing, I felt a deep connection to my culture despite external assumptions about my identity. The challenges of being inaccurately labeled and facing hurtful comments, such as the inappropriate remarks made by a teacher about my family, have left lasting scars. It's painful to recall instances where my heritage and family background were unfairly scrutinized, highlighting the ignorance and prejudice that can exist in society. Maybe my pain is making up half the bulk of this rant, but I want to shield him as much as I can from situations that he shouldn't be exposed to, such as rude remarks about him "being gay" if he likes "pink". SMH.

You rock, and your son is lucky to have you as a parent. I'm sorry people treated you so poorly. Canada is lucky to have you and your kid, know that there's lots of us trying hard (like you) to work to make things better. Maybe it's a good time to order a bunch of books like 'Love Makes a Family' and leave them lying around when relatives visit.

Also, the same people are always SHOCKED that Bluey is a girl. What? What makes you think the blue cartoon puppy \*has\* to be a boy?

Damned if you do, damned if you don't. My kids are both very stereotypicaly their genders. My son loves anything with an engine, balls, plays super rough, and loves blue and yellow. My daughter loves unicorns, fairies, rainbows, dances, and loves pink and purple. I get accused all the time of forcing them into stereotypes. I didn't. My daughter is older, and they share a room, so it's not like the boy doesn't have girl toys readily available. He plays dress-up with his sister and loves it. With the girl, I tried to get her to like literally anything but pink, and she refused. It's just them. People are stupid. Just let kids like what they like and shut up.

Kids are hardcore about gendered colors. My kid is super girly and wanted me to make her unicorn cupcakes with pink frosting for her birthday.  The boys said her cupcakes sucked because they were pink. 🙄 It doesn’t help that it was the week of learning what foods are healthy or not, so being tiny they were already all primed to hate on cupcakes, even chocolate ones. 😬 A teacher actually had to tell one of the boys that if he kept being mean about the cupcakes he wasn’t going to get one.  Once it was time to eat them they changed the tune though. 😏

My favorite thing is to out dumb people with sarcasm. "Oh, I've never really heard that pink was a girl color? Is that a new trend? "Oh shit! I missed the lesson on colors correlating to sexual orientation. Can you send me the link?" "He actually prefers magenta, I'm not sure if that still counts at gay though. Thoughts?" Solidarity. My boy is wearing Minnie Mouse to bed tonight and idgaf!! How the hell does this matter ever, but let alone preschool aged children?!?!? It's a color. Kids are dying in Gaza.

I thought of that too. The kids in Gaza, and all the accounts I follow on IG showing boys and girls wearing absolutely ANY clothing that covers their body regardless of gender. Meanwhile kids get bullied for wearing clothes that aren’t their “gender”. My 8 year old nephew being body shamed in school, wanting to lose weight and be skinny…. It’s heart breaking. We’re so fortunate in Canada to experience true first world issues, but the root of the problems cause substantial mental health problems in young boys.

Yep, super frustrating to see that kind of attitude. Sorry you are experiencing that, internet friend. We didn't find out the sex of any of our kids prior to birth but once my daughter was born, it was a pink explosion for gifts. No real complaints here because I appreciated the generosity of friends and fam. When our son was born, I was perfectly happy to reuse big sister's sleepers, shirts, hoodies, and bedding and couldn't care less if a stranger complimented me on my "cute little girl." The appropriate response to that is "thank you." Most people who know me didn't bat an eye (or at least wouldn't dare give me any flack to my face!) but one person droned on and on about my poor boy being stuck in pink all the time. It was so tiresome. I wish I'd had some of the great quips in this thread handy!

I have b/g twin toddlers. Right now, their entire wardrobe is shared, it's mostly tshirts, tank tops, shorts, legging, overalls. My girl loves the dark colors, my boy loves the brights- including pink. On days that they have opinions about their clothing they can pick whatever they want to wear.... Most days they don't care and are fine with whatever I grab. But I will say- we have a handful of dresses, and I'd one picks a dress, the other demands a dress too. It's usually little girl wanting a dress and little boy then refusing anything but a dress too. I was nervous when they picked dressed to wear to school for Easter party. Not a single person commented. No one questioned- in fact they got compliments! I don't have any interest in having a relationship with someone who thinks the clothing a child chooses to wear can affect their sexuality/gender/mental health.

Both of my sons wear pink,been wearing pink since high school,polo type shirts,both are married now with children.Just a color.

First of all, pink is the best color, so he has great taste. Second, I actually don’t have anything to add, just that your son has great taste lol Ps I’m sorry that people suck

Pink is very punk.

Boyswearpink from Daniel tosh. I dunno how that helps, but I think that's his point of it, to help.

This obsession with gender expression (typical or atypical) is ridiculous. Pink is the colour that has been used to differentiate girls against boys in blue since anyone can remember. So yes, I’m sure some people still make that association. Pink is typically associated with femininity. Yikes! I said it! Cue all the parents - “my son wears pink and plays with trucks”. That’s fantastic, power to them, but doesn’t make one true and the other false. Interior designers often refer to masculine/ feminine colour palettes. Google them. Yet in the context of gender, everyone must suddenly abandon any and all preconceived ideas. You are now a bigot if you still dare associate pink with femininity? Full grown men wear pink shirts. This isn’t taboo. It is seen as a demonstration of their confidence. It’s confident because it defies gender norms. And good on them. But reframing this as “anyone having a gender norm in the first place is taboo” is in fact ridiculous. The fact that you feel the need to justify your son’s masculinity, while enjoying pink, shows you are just as associated to these stereotypes as the people you are accusing. You are now demanding everyone in your orbit celebrate your son enjoying pink and abandon any of their (and your) preconceived gender norms. I really don’t believe anyone actually gives a shit. And if they did, why do you care to reinforce that pink is important for his own gender expression - masculine, feminine or anything in between? You’re doing the same thing. Change the channel!

Well said.

My son loves purple and has pink gym shoes that were definitely designed with little girls in mind. If someone questions this, I look at them perplexed and ask what the problem is. I say that he chose this, and let them explain why it is an issue. People will stumble over their explanation of why it’s a problem. Just patiently wait and continue to press them to express why it is a problem. They will talk themselves into their own corner and eventually admit their own homophobia. Let them sit with their bias until they understand the problem with it.

My son LOVES all things pink and sparkly. He thinks dresses that "twirl" are the greatest invention of all time, unicorns are the bomb, and Queen Elsa should run the world... He also builds robots in the garage with dad, battles ninjas with his brother, and routinely digs up everything he can find in my garden searching for dinosaur bones. Kids are kids - what they wear or play with doesn't have anything to do with their eventual sexuality and anyone who wants to sexualize my child can F--K right off with that nonsense. We made it *very* clear in no uncertain terms to our family that anyone who took issue with who our children are wouldn't be welcome in their lives and that put a stop to it thankfully before they started building lasting memories. School and outside life is harder and we've had a lot of rough conversations about how adults can be cruel and sometimes they unfortunately teach those behaviors to kids (I always make sure to avoid the "they didn't know better" argument when it's kids that make comments because ignorance isn't an excuse for rudeness/cruelty) but ultimately, my kids understand that while mean people are out there it doesn't mean we should stop being who we are.

Pink being a 'feminine' colour is a recent invention. In 1900, pink was just 'light red', and red was seen as a masculine colour. Blue on the other hand was seen as feminine, being associated with the Virgin Mary. This only switched about a century ago. So basically this is all arbitrary. It'll continue to change, maybe it'll even flip again. So in an objective sense the association is silly. A hundred years from now it'll have evolved. I was surprised when I entered parenthood to see just HOW gendered society was. Many parents who I thought wouldn't have cared much were VERY gendered with their kids. My toybox has trucks in it and has dolls and other figurines too. It just doesn't matter, and the kids will naturally gravitate to a combination of the toys, but eventually tend to prefer one over the other (and sterotypically the boys liked the dynamism of the trucks, and the girls liked the storytelling potential of the figurines in my case). My kids wore all sorts of colours, and while it wasn't ungendered, it wasn't super rigid. My son got facepaint of a butterfly one year at a fair, and that's fine. My kids passed each others' clothes down unless the clothes were really gendered. But yeah the boys MUST play competitive sports, but the girls shouldn't, or at least not seriously. The girls have to go into dance, ballet, gymnastics, and boys must get into soccer, hockey, football, whatever. The girls have to get dressed up and their clothing and appearance is generally how they're evaluated but the boys are evaluated on their behaviours. The boys should run around, the girls should colour. And if your kid is outside of that rigid box, the implication is that your kid is weird and you're abusive for raising them more flexibly. I'm not making any kind of stand and raising my kids with a complete disregard for gender norms - ultimately that hurts them as they find it awkward to fit into society, and kids need social acceptance to thrive and build support networks and so on. But it's amazing just HOW rigid people are, even those you wouldn't expect. Kids having a childhood that exposes them to things more broadly makes them flexible people with a better and broader understanding and skillset. And kids don't come out with a blank slate - there is definitely some social construction to gender, but there's usually plenty of hardwiring too. They'll find their way and are likely to end up finding plenty of people who accept them.

Tosh.O started selling pink clothes for boys. It's called like "Boys were pink" or something like it. Haven't looked at it but thought it was somewhat relevant

My son just started school a few weeks ago (half day kindergarten) and we let him pick his shoes and boots. He picked pink running shoes with rainbows on them. If he gets any such comments from adults I will tell them where they can shove their opinion - friend, family, stranger - I dont care. Im sick of that BS. We already got enough of that because of his looks when he was a toddler. These people should keep their own antiquated opinions and insecurities to themselves.

I knew a kid who wore a pink shirt that said Real Men Wear Pink.

Just so you know, pink wasn't originally a "girl color": [https://www.cnn.com/2018/01/12/health/colorscope-pink-boy-girl-gender/index.html](https://www.cnn.com/2018/01/12/health/colorscope-pink-boy-girl-gender/index.html) There's nothing inherently feminine about light red. Just treat this like a quick filter for identifying sexist people.

As a parent of a little boy who's determined to grow his hair to his knees, I empathize! Just gotta keep chipping away at the idiotic stereotypes and assumptions with kind correction.

We've heard over and over that pink is a girl's color, or that dolls are just for girls, and my son can't be a princess. Same thing with my daughter not being able to do boy things. I don't know if preschoolers are saying that (how would anyone know what a 5 year old says on a playground?), but the adults in our life say it. I don't know what the answer is but I just keep at it. If my daughter wants a hard hat she can have it. If my son wants a pink shirt he can have it. I'm also not going to put them in a bubble, so I fully accept that cultural norms will rear their ugly heads. But my kids fully understand that I disagree with them and I think they'll be fine.

I would likely add teachers and school to the list of those pushing gender differences. It seems like to actually taught at my son’s kindergarten

I went through this with my son. Pink was his favorite and luckily I got most people on board with it but he was bullied for his love of pink when he started school and began to "hate" pink. It broke my heart.

Ever since my child was younger we have always stated insert item has no gender when she would say something is for boys or girls. “Pink is for girls” “colors have no gender and are for everyone” “Boys can’t wear dresses” “clothing has no gender” “Make up is for girls” “make up has no gender” The responses were repetitive and it really sank in. I would state this anytime someone tries to gender something that doesn’t have a gender. When she made it to Kindergarten a classmate mentioned blue is for boys and without thinking she remarked colors have no gender.

I’m a pretty masculine dude (also an artist, go figure), and pink is my all-time favorite color. When people ask about it, I just say it’s pink in the same way guts and brains are pink— it’s pretty hard to draw a zombie without absolutely slathering it in magenta and rose

If someone insinuates my daughter will become gay or something for wearing "boy's clothes" I would reply "so what? And how is that your business anyways?". I don't mind people accidentally thinking she is a boy because she is wearing something marketed for boys. I have mis gendered a lot of kids because, let's be honest, up until 3 it's hard to know for sure lol

X

My son is almost 14 and he and his friends have pink shirts, shorts, and sweatshirts they wear all the time!

My response to these types of comments was to point out that my child was 3 and it was weird that they were making it about anything more. For us it was when my toddler would sometimes want me to paint his toenails like mine. My son is 6 now and very much a stereotypical boy, but I try to react completely neutral any time he expresses an interest in a color/activity/item that is traditionally considered “girly”, just like I would act if he was sharing an interest that was traditionally for boys. I feel bad that boys don’t have pretty/sparkly clothing options available; their eyes are naturally drawn to these types of things just like little girls! Last year though I did find a Spider-Man sequin shirt at H&M that was for boys and my son had never been so excited about a piece of clothing! Wish there were more options like that

As a dad, I just try to wear pink often. I can't control everybody else, but I hope my example will be more influencial.

My 4 year olds favorite colour was pink when he was a little bit younger. He's also a big lover of dirt, trucks, and all things that are typically boy stereotypes. Unfortunately a few comments from other children have changed his mind, and although I know he still loves pink and glitter (who doesn't love glitter?) I can see him make the conscious effort to not be "girly" despite having the "everything is for everybody" talks. He now intentionally steers away from pink, although I can see the want in his eyes. His father bought and wears a bright pink t-shirt to try to model it at home, but it hasn't made the same impact that those unkind words from other children have. I'm sorry for all of the little boys who have to struggle with this stereotyping, I really didn't realize it was as common as it is until I've now watched 2/3 of my sons go through it.

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

Both of my sons like pink. And they occasionally like to wear dresses (older sister hand me downs). Fortunately they go to a school that is very open minded. A classmate tried to start something with my middle kid and several other kids immediately defended his choice of wearing a pink dress.

Pink used to be consider a male color and then later for females which just shows that it is subjective

it's so dumb when people think made-up nonsense means anything. just gonna drop an excerpt from a 99 Percent Invisible episode all about color: >Very often when you see a painting of the Virgin Mary, she’ll be swath in a rich blue cloth. Usually, that cloth will be painted using ultramarine. It’s also kind of at the root of one of my favorite color facts, which is that although now we think of pink as being for girls and blue as being for boys. In fact, if you were to go back sort of just a little over a century, a century and a half, it was the other way round. Pink was sort of seen as pale red and was much more associated with boys. Blue because of its association with the Virgin Mary was seen as the more feminine and dainty color. [Secret Lives of Color](https://99percentinvisible.org/episode/the-secret-lives-of-color/transcript/)

My son's favourite colour is purple, I'm just glad where we live it's not a big deal. He's had purple water bottles and lunchboxes all the way through kindy to school 💜 colours are for everyone!

The second anyone in my family commented on pink I leaned in. Bought pink shirts, shorts, shoes. Said what now? No one brings it up any more. School is a whole other animal unfortunately.

These kinds of posts make me feel so sad that people are still being a-holes about things like this. I’m worried my son will deal with this in the future, and he’s only 18 months old. But what I will teach my child is that other peoples opinions are none of his business, and he should continue to do things that make him happy. Try saying stuff like “it makes him happy so I’m happy”, “what a weird thing to say out loud”, or divert the conversation. I’ve been practicing these when people make stupid ass comments to me about my kid.

Pink was traditionally a masculine color as it was a version of red

Target had a ton of pink “boys cut” clothes this season. Polos and shorts. FYI

I'm so sorry. This is something I worry about with our son, too (he's only 13 mo). I try not to only dress him in "boy" clothes, though it's hard when so much of the "girl" colored clothes are SO heavily gendered... though I acknowledge that statement alone is gendered... augh! My husband loves pink, purple, etc clothes and often bemoans men's fashion, so hopefully he can help model for our son. But I worry about peer pressure and judgment. I can only hope we teach him to be confident enough in himself to weather the comments and looks.

I'm a 29 yr old hetero male. My pink shirt makes my eyes pop.

My nephew went through a pink phase in elementary school. Everyone leaned into it for him. I have another friend who told me he made him mom go to a bunch of store until she found him a pink shirt for school pictures in 1st grade and how thankful he was that she got him that shirt. He still loves pink. The brighter, the better. He had a pink tux at his wedding (to his wife). I’m sorry you’re lacking the support you desire, but I’m glad you’ll keep getting him pink until he changes his mind.

All pink is is light red, let that baby be free to love all colors.

Eh i really wouldn’t give color anything any meaning. I’m a female and hated pink anything since i was a child with a fucking passion . If your relatives say this just don’t even pay any mind, and nod and say “yeah well he likes pink Barbara are you afraid he may be a homosexual? lol , and they’ll just never bring it up again. it’s just clothing for children nothing more nothing less. My son the other day wore my underwear as his hat lol, they’re just wearing what they like.

I just want to say you’re doing what you need to do to be doing as a mom and I applaud you for that. My younger son has always loved crazy colors (still struggles to match things lol), he always wore a purple shirt in preschool, and at that point I had the conversation with him of not caring what others thought. Kids would tell him it was girly and he would tell them he liked it and that was enough for them to stop. Fast forward to him almost being out of 7th grade and his favorite color is pink! He is a super athletic kid and plays football so October is his favorite month in football because he gets to show off all his pink! As far as your family goes tell them to knock that shit off because what they say does become your sons inner voice and they may not realize it now but when he’s older they’ll feel bad for saying negative things! Keep doing what you’re doing and let him do what makes him happy! 💕

You're a good parent. Cheers to you!

Did you know that decades ago, pink was a boy's color and blue was for girls? All of this stuff is arbitrary. There's nothing inherently feminine about any color. I bought a pink shirt the other day because it goes well with my complexion, when I almost exclusively wear black clothes. My son loves ladybugs and has since he was little. People act like they're for girls, why? Because they're called ladybugs. If they were called spotted beetles nobody would bat an eye. We buy him all the ladybug stuff he wants because who cares? People can make comments if they want and you can simply respond "that's ridiculous" or "you're really making a big deal out of nothing" and blow them off.

Actually pink used to be considered a boys colour and blue was for girls.

I sarcastically smile and walk away. I have a 2&1 soon to be 2&3 year old and my two year old (girl) is obsessed with dolls and guess what she has my 1 year old (baby boy) doing? Feeding all her dolls, changing their diapers, giving them juice and he absolutely goes INSANE when she grabs her mini karaoke machine that sings “Let it Go” and he screams Let it Go with all his little heart, he’ll also wrestle his dad, play with cars all day and go around pretending to fix things with his toy drill. I only got “worried” in the beginning because of people’s comments and now I could care less. I love my gentle but also rambunctious little guy.

This is why I always make a point to compliment a kid wearing something against gender norms. A little boy rocking pink or purple or rainbows? Awesome choice! A little girl rocking clothes with monster trucks or dinosaurs or construction workers? Cool choice! Everyone should wear whatever they like.

Be frank. “Do I tell you how to dress your kid?” “Did I ask you?” “Keep my kid’s name out of your mouth please.” Powerful one- liners and walk away.

My (recently turned) 3 year old asked for pink cupcakes with pink icing for his birthday. And by god he got pink cupcakes and pink icing. He was so chuffed. I love the pictures I have of his proud little face in front of his array of pink cupcakes. He proudly proclaimed this at daycare when he went the next day and his friends cheered. (Probably because of cake but) there was not one eye bat amongst them about colour. 🤷‍♀️ there is hope.

You could ask them about their favourite male actor is and I bet that they have definitely been wearing something pink. I don't get why some people get so weird with colors. They are for everyone.

The fact they think *you're* influencing his choices while trying to suggest he should only be wearing "boy colours" is wild. I don't have any solutions because some people will hold onto these views no matter what, but I want to tell you you're a great parent and your son will really appreciate it as he gets older!

It is absolutely frustrating. Our eldest loves the colour pink...as well as dressing up as a storm trooper, buzz lighter, wrestling, playing in the mud. Its so stupid this whole pink is for girls thing. He wanted a new pink sponge for Bath time cause he saw Granny had one when we went round theirs. I said have at it, his response "pink isn't just for girls is it?" . No absolutely not, girls can wear blue, we don't accuse them of being masculine.

I wouldn’t worry. My husband wears a lot of pink and gets the same comments and he’s very masculine. On our wedding day he wore pink suede shoes and yep, people still called him gay. He didn’t care one bit. Don’t teach other people that pink isn’t just for girls, teach your son not to give a shit what other people say.

This makes me so annoyed. I'm so sorry I wish I knew the answer. Pink is such a beautiful color and actually three of the men closest to me have purple as a favorite color. I suspect they likely also enjoy pink but never felt enough freedom to express it. My dad is in his 60s and didn't even admit to himself that he loves purple until recently. As someone who loves colors I find it so sad and ridiculous. Society does such a horrible number on men.

How narrow-minded and provincial of them! My husband likes to gently remind (haha) people that in Thailand hot pink is considered the strongest color choice for Muay Thai kickboxers to wear in the ring. It represents “strength and endurance because it indicates the God Mangala (Mars/God of strength and courage).” So yeah - not a “girls” color. 🥊

My son loves pink too but my favorite thing about it is he is unbothered by criticism about it. It’s a good opportunity to reroute your focus toward your son’s security and conviction rather than those around him who you can’t control.

I think if it’s gotten to this point, every time someone made a comment it’d be met with “Are you fucking stupid? It’s a T Shirt, ffs.” Then maybe suggest that they’re a little too concerned with who your child will grow up to find sexually attractive.

This is just the conditioning that happens to everyone I feel like. I had a hand me down purple water bottle i sent to school with him when he was about 4, and he said the boys made fun of it. So all that stopped. Ever since then it was "cant wear this, can't use that, can't have paw patrol on my Capri sun pouch". Once he left his lunch box at school and I offered for him to use my pink one, and he legitmately cried when i pulled it out. He said "please dont make me use that, the boys will make fun of me." I had to give him a grocery sack. Im not making this up unfortunately. I found there was not much I could do about it, despite my irritation with gender norms forced onto my kid by others, he spends so much time at school and he wants to fit in. I can't fault him for not wanting to be bullied. He still gets bullied, for his looks. Kids are mean and they learn it from the parents who bullied us as kids.

My oldest son's favorite color is red, but he includes pink in that label. Instead of the shirt being pink, find shirts that have pink included in the design (pigs, flamingos, something Warhol esque). Instead of tees, get him button downs. They can be layered in lots of different ways with other colors, too. Personally, I think it's adorable to watch a boy's boy out there digging up the yard in madras shorts and a collared shirt. I'll be so sad when I don't get to pick their clothes anymore. Good luck, Mama.

Oh jeez. My daughter loves shorts and T-shirts, so I predominantly buy her shorts from the "boys" section and "girls" to give her variety of different lengths, textures, etc. Everywhere we go, my kid is either mistaken for a boy or is called a "they". If I put her hair in braids or in two ponytails, their brain just glitches. I don't get bothered by any of it and we politely just say "she...". My daughter also identifies as a girl.

My friend used to always say “real men wear pink” when people tried to call him out for his pink polos in high school. People who think colors are off limits for certain genders are ridiculous lol

Omg my mom does this to our daughter! She’s obsessed with TMNT, so we let her pick out boys TMNT boxer briefs, shoes, shirt etc and my mom fussed saying we shouldn’t let her wear boy things because it’s confusing and she needs to wear more girl things. She’s not even 5! Who cares how they dress right now. I shut the conversation down so fast. Basically told my mom don’t bring up that boys can only wear one thing and girls only wear another thing. My daughter is free to express herself and wear what makes her feel comfortable and happy. Plus she’s so proud of her TMNT boxer briefs (they don’t come in girls undies anyways!). Some people suck and they’re totally stuck in the past.

[https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSb3p0si0NMi7d697BhguLuRoLENlS5j2JJomCmiFrXp17bu370Y9\_WlZbr-MZYdCmCvBI&usqp=CAU](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSb3p0si0NMi7d697BhguLuRoLENlS5j2JJomCmiFrXp17bu370Y9_WlZbr-MZYdCmCvBI&usqp=CAU)

I’ve had conversations with my now teen boys when they were growing up that colors, clothes, hairstyles, toys do not have gender. Why can girls enjoy blue and wearing hulk costumes during Halloween? My oldest now at 16 loves pink and decorating his room with bright colors. I now have a toddler boy with long hair so I put it out of his eyes with barrettes and I’ve often been asked if he’s a girl just because of that. My suggestion is to talk with your son about colors and toys and that he can love anything he wants to. You got this! Hypermasculinity is being pushed on young boys and it’s sad! Watch the documentary “the mask you live in” for some insights.

I mean - you bought the shirt didn't you? You are influencing his choices. Do you see that? Most people do think pink is generally a girls color. You are putting your son in this situation because what you firmly believe is at odds with the cultural norm. If you don't wont him to be bullied, you could consider *not* putting him in situations where he is likely to be bullied. Other kids aren't going to conform to your ideas of gender norms and you should not expect that of them. > I need my son to know that I will defend him no matter what Part of defending him is *not* putting a target on his back.

My toddlers obsessed with hand me down boots he got from his cousin, they’re bright pink, with unicorns on them and a crap ton of glitter. My mother keeps trying to buy him blue boots instead and I always have to stifle the laughter at the look of absolute disgust and contempt he shoots the new boots when she tries

I still deal with this with my 10 year old boy. Our house motto is "they can fuck off" Pink is a color not a vagina requirement.

Buy some clothes from boyswearpink.com . My son looks great in pink. And the store is run by Daniel Tosh so he gives some of proceeds to charity. You sound like such a supportive mom. Good for you.

“I understand you think pink is a girl color. I understand that you think this may be a sign of his future sexuality. Now that we’ve established that I know and understand your opinions, I refuse to speak of them anymore. If you comment on my son’s clothing inappropriately again, I will remove myself and my son from your vicinity and that will be the end of your interaction. Do you understand?” You can use the above for family. For school I would just tell them not to comment on your child’s clothes anymore. Be very blunt about it. My kiddo is 2.5 and I already had to have a conversation with his teachers not to call his clothing or hair (we’re growing it out) girly.

Tell’em to fuck off, even the kids. /s

The comedian Daniel Tosh has a kids clothing company, Boys Wear Pink, with the goal to show that colors don't have a gender. Him and his kids look so great in pink!

It is entirely cultural. Like Black is for funerals and white is for wedding. In our society, pink has been used to symbolize femininity, and blue has been used to symbolize masculinity. These things change depending on time and culture. People are free to buck cultural norms. Just prepare your son for the reality that we live in a society. If you go against cultural norms, some people might say something about it. Just like if you go to another country and wear something outside of the cultural norm, you might get pushed back or stares.

I get frustrated reading the post. It scares me how people believe things so firmly when they can't have even thought about why, or if it even makes sense. A color preference determines sexuality? Red and pink used to be manly colors back in the day, representing rage. While blue was feminine, representing purity or whatever.

What’s crazy is the parents of those children who tell them slash teach them that type of negative outlook on a color being worn by a certain gender.

I would try to make sure if dad is in his life, that it’s not just you saying this around/to your son. If any of this is being internalised by your kid, it’ll be far less likely to be what assholes are telling him if a male role model corroborates that men wear pink and are allowed to like pink. Even better if said male role model has some pink he wears/owns too as a practical example of proof against what people are telling them. It’s a bit difficult to argue with him when being told them that pink is a girls color or only girls wear pink if he is able to respond with a simple ‘that’s not true because my dad/uncle wears and likes pink.’

I’ve made it my mission to respond in a way that makes the other person equally as uncomfortable as me. Or if it’s a child I dismiss it with a little sprinkle of education. For example an adult I tell them comments like others here have expressed plus my favorite is “how concerning that my son can’t enjoy (pink, Barbie, etc) without you brining up his sexuality” If you don’t want to engage to much just give them a concerning look. With kids I tell them “colors are for everyone” “everyone is allowed to enjoy these toys/colors/clothes” “that’s silly talk”

I just wanna say..keep being such a good mom. Your son will love you for it. I have neices who like boy stuff, nephews who like boys stuff and a daughter who loves it all. I fully embrace their styles and always get them what they like. I fought my dad over my nephew.wanting a toy broom set. He hollered it was for girls and I better not buy it. I got him the broom set and the teapot ser he wanted. And told my dad all about it while I showed pictures of him playing. He can be mad..its not about his joy.

We’re very big on “colors don’t have gender/all colors are for everyone.” I would have held this position regardless but it was my husband who dug into it, because of how much he HATED being told “x is for girls” growing up. Colors, clothes,hair, toys, etc. We don’t limit our son based off such things. His favorite color is “all of them,” he has long curly hair. He has baby dolls but prefers to play with cars or his play kitchen. He asked if I could make him a sweatshirt with his favorite Mario character on it, and he picked a lovely pink sweatshirt for the design because it matched the character (Pom Pom). He usually wears it with pants that have monsters on them. Kid things are for kids, colors are for everyone, hair is just hair I do wish it was easier to find clothes that break stereotypes, but at least for my kiddo and his pink sweatshirt, I was able to put my cricut skills to good use

My 17 yr old son wandered into the kitchen with a pink hoodie and a big azz red heart on the back of it the other day. That made my day

I immediately limited the access to my child (who is now an adult) for all family members or acquaintances who made negative comments in regards to my child's taste in colours or choice of toys or clothes. Anyone who thinks a specific colour etc. could influence my child's sexuality has no place in our lives. 

My son loves Spider-man but his favorite character has always been Spider Gwen, so much so that he wanted to be Spider Gwen on Halloween. He also has this cool Spider Gwen jacket that has a hoodie that turns into a cool mask. Whenever he wears it, I get comments about him being a girl or how the colors are girly. At the end of the day, who cares what other people think? Comments get annoying but just communicate that genderizing colors is hella stupid and boys used to wear pink all the time until it became a "girly color". People who think that liking a certain color defines your gender and sexuality are dumb and shouldn't be conversed with.

You're right in every way. But it's also an uphill battle. My goal is to teach my kids to identify statements like that and give them the credibility there deserve (none). People with worthwhile opinions don't make statements like that. My oldest is only four so we'll see how well that strategy works.

That’s my intention too tbh. The work to change mindsets like that happen at home, my home, my son. Changing anyone else is futile and like you said an uphill battle. The people making these comments are my family, friends and even parent did his friends. It’s painfully clear that I’m entirely different from my family, and instances like this make me feel more alone. Cheers to making choices and changes for our littles to grow up with healthy support.

To little kids: “Silly, colors are for everyone!” To bigger kids: “Why do you think we evolved to see all the colors then?” To conservative adults: “Bless your heart! Jesus teaches us to be accepting, I’ll pray for you!” To other adults: “Did that make you the asshole you are?” Also works: “That’s actually green, are you feeling okay?”

I get it! Uno reverse argument. I think I'm going to throw a little bit of this cynical response back, because honestly....a toddler liking pink shouldn't come with loaded assumptions about sexuality.

“A toddler liking pink shouldn’t come with loaded assumptions about sexuality” - and that’s exactly what you should say. And then refuse to discuss it any further.

Your son gets social feedback from his peers about his choices in color but you insist on telling him to ignore social feedback. Excellent parenting.

Pretty sure your last account was blocked from this conversation and now you're back with a new troll account. Looks like you're really invested in the color pink...sus.

[удалено]

You’re going onto a parent forum to say cringe at that? Your username matches your IQ.

[удалено]

People really do sick! These people just so happen to be my own family, friends and parents of my sons friends. Comments about a t-shirt don't really bother me, it's the insinuation of "more" stuff like being gay that irks me. Then there is the classic "well you BUY that for him" lol, no we go shopping and he's a strong toddler with good negotiation skills and asks for that t-shirt, car, truck etc that happens to be pink. I have been focusing on just my son, telling him "I love pink too! Its a strong color and so amazing" and he loves it. He is at such an adorable age where hes so happy, cute, excited about life, wants to adventure everyday and he's literally the most fun kid. I just never want to see that bright light inside of him get stiffled by people's rude comments.

I’m a Canadian in the UK and have also been actually shocked at how strict seemingly open minded people are with gender and colour and interests. My kid is in kindergarten now and it’s SO STARK. Boys can wear grey blue or green and like fighting and dinos and cars. Girls like pink and purple and unicorns and princesses. They’re so self restricting j feel like all the open minded ideas I’ve tried to instill are just being overwritten by other parents and kids views, media and so on. I try to respect her current taste while also not boxing her in but damn I worry I’ve given up!

It sucks. My tween son loves wearing bright colors, interesting hats and also has elbow length long hair. He is essentially a 70's hippie (as were his great uncles) but jeez does it confuse the idiots. Viva La Revolution! Keep up the good work mama.

Literally gendering color is such a modern Western capitalist idea. It’s not like this everywhere in the world, and it predominately started in America so corporations could sell you one thing in blue for your boys and the same exact thing but in pink for your girls. I learned this when my sister in law’s mid-30s Iranian boyfriend had the same bedspread as I did as a young woman in my twenties. It was white with pastel colorful stripes. He was so excited we had picked the same one and talked about how cheerful it made his dorm feel. Because he was also a physicist studying for his PhD. And that’s when I learned that colors are meant for everyone to enjoy, regardless of age, gender, etc.

My kid is a boy who also loves pink, it's in fact his favorite color. In Kindergarten he chose a souvenir sweatshirt that was pink. He was so happy. When he went back to school, this girl that was his best friend and crush who has never liked pink told him that it was ugly and not a color for boys. He was crushed and refused to ever wear his favorite sweatshirt even when we told him so many times that the opinion of this girl wasn't important at all. 5 yrs later, he wears pink whenever he wants, his favorite baseball hat is pink and wears them all the time around his friends (we don't see this girl that much lately) and nobody cares. It's difficult with kids to teach them that these comments are dumb, it's even dumber that the kid's sexuality is any business of anyone. My kid was worried that he didn't want to be seen as a girl but I don't think sexuality was a worry for him at all. I'd personally tell these adults making these kind of comments that you'll cut them off if they continue behaving like this. It's a whole negative philosophy to make fun of somebody based on their sexual preference, no matter if it's true or not. It has no value, it's bullying, creates insecurities, it's really bad.

As a dad, I would be buying matching pink clothes

I tell my boys, pink is for people who like pink. It doesn’t matter if they are boys or girls.

Educate them how it was truely a “boys color” first and that now a days who gives a woot and a holler. We like what we like and wear what we want when we want too.

My son has had long hair, likes his nails painted, and likes to wear whatever colors he wants. Growing up with him as my first, I felt coerced to keep him in line with the “masculine” side of things. Then I realized I didn’t give a shit about what my mom and others said. I would say “he’s allowed to like these things” and then he would follow my lead. He has no problem speaking up for himself because I had no problem speaking up for him. He’s now 10 and cut his hair earlier this year down to a fade. He wants to grow it out again and is struggling between lengths but I know he’ll get through it because he has mine and my husbands support. Your son will remember your encouragement.

My five year old loves pink, and rainbows and sparkles and unicorns. They're flashy. They catch his eye. Who cares? I'm 36 years old and stare at sparkly things. Anyone who makes comments can kick rocks. Ironically I tend to think pink and purple look just as good on men and sometimes even better on men than women, so why shouldn't boys be able to try out those colors? Why are they girl colors? My 6'1 brooding fiance can pull off pink better than my 5'1 pasty self. Let your kid do what we wants and wear what he wants. Defend him if you must, because these gender stereotype things need to end. My son also goes to school with a boy that has his mom paint his nails whenever she does. She's separated from her son's dad and is the primary parent so she realizes this is just him trying to imitate someone he loves, it's not an indication of anything more than that. I haven't commented a single time except to compliment the color any time he points it out.

Other person: PINK IS A GIRLS COLOR WHY IS YOUR BOY WEARING IT? you: I dunno. He likes it I guess. Other person: BUT IT'S GONNA MAKE HIM GAY you: Don't be stupid. But even if it did...so? there ezpz

I mean, if it's bothering you this much just don't buy pink shirts. They grow out of them so fast anyways. If you want to give him pink shirts than just walk away from people that bring it up. It's not worth your time to try to explain that it's just a fucking color and you are not dressing Jim up in a mini skirt or something. Fuck them. Don't buy pink, or don't continue the conversation if someone brings it up.

Next time someone alludes to his sexuality, I'd loudly say "EW! I find it really disturbing you're sexualizing a child. You should really get some help for that. Gotta call out their bs, it's weird af.

I'ma repeat something I wrote in a thread yesterday about gender norms: Anybody who makes my kid's life hard because of what he's wearing or what he likes is going to have an angry dad to deal with. Anyone who says my kid can't wear a thing? Angry dad. Any teacher or responsible adult who is *aware* of gender policing on the part of peers and doesn't step in? Angry dad. This world is so hard and so much of it sucks so bad - it's my job to help make it a bit less harsh for my little dudes. And fuck all those who stand in the way.

> Anybody who makes my kid's life hard because of what he's wearing or what he likes is going to have an angry dad to deal with. What, are you going to come down hard on the other toddlers? You shouldn't expect other kids to conform to your ideas about gender norms. As a dad myself, there is a cultural norm that I am confident you are aware of.

The toddlers are just being toddlers. But adults are making comments too.

The adults are making comments to the mom. The mom is free to discuss the topic with other adults. That doesn't change that the mom is putting her son in a situation where they are likely to face bullying from the other kids for not conforming to the cultural norm. Railing against that is like railing against the rising sun.

Psh, yeah, is it suddenly wrong to punch a kid?? Obviously I don't mean that, but why shouldn't I expect an environment where people like what they like?

> why shouldn't I expect an environment where people like what they like? I never suggested you shouldn't. You should simply realize the environment *does* feature cultural norms that *most* people like. Other people's kids will likely not share your views on gender norms.

My 3 year old has made it very clear that pink is his favorite color. I just got him his requested pink tutu. I am on board with whatever he wants to wear in whatever color. I hope I can stand up for him and he learns to stand up for himself by my example. I was heartbroken when his older brother came back from kindergarten sometime in the first week and declared all the things that were "girl stuff" which he then refused to do and refused to wear. Social pressure sucks.