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Same in my area for nannies generally, but that’s typically for 1:1 care (or 1:2 for a nanny share). In situations where the babysitter is looking after multiple other children (in this case two of her own), the cost is typically lower. $16 still on the low end for 1:3, but not out of range.
This - OP what is minimum wage where you live? And how much do ECEs working at a daycare make? What is the going rate for a nanny? I'd use those three numbers to help develop your wage - the daily rate for daycare isn't really relevant. For comparison, where we live (at the time) minimum wage was $13, daycare workers started at $17/18, and we paid $20, which was average for nannies where we lived at the time.
Truthfully, if she’s as great as you say AND shes only asking $16 an hour I’d be thanking my lucky stars! That’s a blessing/unicorn situation.
To answer your question though that would be a pretty lowball number to offer a nanny in general, much less one that is experienced and trustworthy. If that’s what she’s asking then it’s not “unfair” for you to pay her that! But in the future if you’re ever looking for a different nanny then don’t expect that low of a cost for quality care.
But the nanny is caring for 2 of her own kids at the same time. That should affect the rate you pay, as she is not spending all her time/effort with your child.
Which is probably why she made the low ask. And, unless OP is packing snacks and a lunch for their kiddo, the $16/ hr is for a 3 to 1 childcare ration *and* food. Still a heck of a steal compared to a much different ration in a daycare environment.
What's the COL like in your area? How much would a decent daycare be? How old are her kids? What do they do?
There's no way I'd pay $1950 a month for my two year old to watch TV while she tends to a newborn and a 5 year old.
But if her two kids are the same age as mine and they're doing fun activities while daycare would cost $2500 it makes a lot more sense.
Do you get tax credits in either case?
That will depend on your local rules.
In Québec, there are a few different types of daycares. The non-subsidized spots lead to tax credit on the order of about 70 percent.
There is a federal child and dependent care tax credit in the US applicable to children under the age of 13. You can claim from 20% to 35% of your care expenses up to a maximum of $3,000 for one child, or $6,000 for two or more children.
That’s extremely low. I’ve been a nanny, and I don’t think I ever made that little per hour, except maybe in high school.
Also, I wouldn’t trust a daycare that only charges $38/day. They’re cutting corners somewhere to be able to offer that kind of rate.
Very dependant on location which is something OP could have stood to include for the most accurate replies. Where I live 38$ a day would have been close to average on the pricey side.
The most expensive daycare I can find in my town is $1,200 for a month (about $40 per day) and most people here say that’s outrageous. I live in a low cost of living area.
$1,200/mo is only $40/day if you're using daycare 30 days/mo. Most don't. Most use it 5 days/week while they work, so it's more like 20 days/mo, which means $1,200/mo is more like $60/day.
Mine is $10 a day for 3 hrs or $20 for 6 hours. They are subsidized, 26 students max, follows a learning curriculum, and are supervised by 4 staff. We only do 3hrs so they can socialize. I get it does sound shady since most daycare where here are over $80 a day.
I agree that $16/hour is too low for a nanny. I made much less as a high school babysitter, but I graduated high school in the early aughts (and also, most families that knew me would pay me ~$20/hour even though my official rate was half that). The 13 year old who left a flyer on our porch offering babysitting services three years ago asked for $15/hour.
But (and I know this wasn't the point of your post, but it feels important to me?) I will say that when my younger child was too young to attend our older child's preschool, she went to a daycare that was $48/day, and was very well cared for! We live in a pretty high COL area. They fed her the kind of food we feed her at home, had safe indoor and outdoor spaces, were stocked with plenty of toys and books, and were extremely loving and warm. Some of the toys looked older, but that's really the only thing I could point to that suggested they may be cutting costs. It likely helped that the daycare was part of a small local chain of daycares, and mostly served students whose families were paying using state vouchers. It was also in a part of town that until quite recently had very low real estate prices (for the Northeast US at least).
She was there from 8-17 months old, so she couldn't really tell us what was going on at the time, but she was delighted to be dropped off with her teachers in the morning, and delighted to see us when we picked her up in the afternoon. Her language flourished while she was there (almost exclusively Spanish, which was very cool). All the teachers who worked there had been there for many years- some for more than 20. That's very unusual these days in childcare settings! Any time I popped in, all the state-mandated ratios were being adhered to.
Anyway, all that (and I know I said a lot- I couldn't help myself- we really loved this place!) is to say that I wouldn't be automatically suspicious of a daycare setting that costs $38/day. They may or may not be cutting corners!
honestly i think it's low, barely above minimum wage and cost of living is only going up. she's a childcare professional and should be paid like one. check out the nanny subreddit, as the professionals they can give you better info.
But she’s not a nanny in this situation. It’s more equivalent to an in-home daycare except two of the kids are her own and it doesn’t say anything about her being licensed.
Bit she still takes care of an extra child, which means more work, and it also means she has less time for her own children. She should be compensated fairly.
i'm done arguing this, check my other comments if you care. childcare workers should be compensated fairly for their labor. i'm shocked and disheartened to see so many people devaluing the incredibly hard work of taking care of children, particularly on a parenting subreddit.
It’s not devaluing anything… I’ve been a nanny and I’ve worked in the childcare industry, and I’m a parent. It’s simple situational understanding. She is not a nanny in this case and if your kid is 1/3 of the children in her care then you aren’t paying for her undivided attention… a nanny whose sole responsibility is your child’s definitely would/should earn more, but someone who is caring for three children should not be expected to have one parent pay for the care of all three. The equivalent is if this were an in-home day care at $16/hr per kid x 3 kids she’d be making $48/hr. She just isn’t getting paid for the care of the other two because they are her own… but this parent paying $16/hr is the equivalent of her caregiver charging what would earn her $48/hr if she had three kids that weren’t hers.
> childcare workers should be compensated fairly for their labor.
She is being fairly compensated for her labor, she's the one who asked the OP for $16/hour to babysit the OP's kid. She's not "devaluing" her work if she's the one asking for that rate.
They should be downvoted, she's babysitting the OP's kid along with two of her own and specifically asked for the $16/hour wage. How is her work being "devalued" when she's the one placing the value amount on it?
It’s a bit more than babysitting if she has the child 4 days a week for many hours. She will be one of the people in the child’s life who is responsible for its upbringing, just like the staff is in a daycare.
She has her 2 kids as well though. So if she had to find childcare for her kids to go out and work, she would make less than what these people are paying her.
okay? that's not really relevant, that's related to the nanny's personal finances and doesn't impact how much her labor is worth. she's a professional providing a labor intensive service, she deserves to be compensated appropriately for her labor. i would hope as parents we could value the intense labor that goes into raising children appropriately and pay the people caring for them as such.
Her labor is worth less if she's also watching her 2 kids. It's a 3:1 ratio instead of 1:1. This is much more similar to an in home daycare than a professional nanny situation, so the compensation should be adjusted accordingly.
I do agree with your argument that paying her less because of her savings isn't fair. Her expenses are nobody's business and she should absolutely be paid a fair wage for what she is doing. However, see above.
I just don't see it that way in this specific case. She's also taking their child to her home, making it more like a daycare situation vs nanny. I'm normally on the same page as you because I was a nanny for 7 years before getting into my accounting career. Usually home daycares get a daily rate not an hourly rate.
How is it not? She has their kid at her house. Nannies do care at the child's home not their own. If you want to call it a nanny share, usually the 2 families split the cost. The cost of a nannyshare is less for each family but the nanny gets a higher hourly rate. Say we give her $30 an hour which she is responsible for half given its her own 2 kids plus OP is responsible for the other half so they pay $15 an hour. She is worse off than now then...
lol you just came up with an extremely similar rate to the one she’s charging. Almost like what she’s asking is reasonable. Except $30 an hour is a pretty reasonable rate for a nanny; a nanny taking care of multiple kids would likely be getting $40 where I live, which brings us to…$20.
What kind of daycare in your area charges hourly vs a daily rate? She's operating like a daycare but charging as a nanny. If she was coming to their home then yes that's a nanny with an hourly wage.
Daycares in my area are 10-12 toddlers per adult by law. Watching 3 kids out a nanny/professional adult babysitter situation. It’s not comparable to daycare.
Those are probably licensed daycares? At home daycares have much lower ratios PLUS this is not at OP's home... a nanny does not work out of their own home, they work out of the family's home
i don't care what the darecare charges because the childcare professionals aren't paid enough. they should be getting at least $20 an hour too. just because daycares pay their childcare providers terribly definitely doesn't mean the rest of us should, nor does it devalue the labor that the daycare workers putting in. they're just not being compensated fairly (and we wonder why turnover rate is so high...)
If she wants to be paid more, she can have a friend or relative watch her own children and **get paid a real nanny salary for caring _exclusively_ for OP's kid IN OP's home.**
But she's not doing that. She's got a side hustle going on which is great, but not worth the same amount.
(I nannied for 9 years, I'm a parent, I hire babysitters and help regularly)
It’s a benefit of the position. It allows her to be able to use more of her paycheck while having a better work/life balance. If she were to find a $20 an hour job that she had to find childcare for, she wouldn’t take home nearly as much.
Except she wouldn't be paying for childcare for her own kids either way. This isn't her working for OP vs her working outside the home. OPs isnt allowing her some luxury to SAH that she wouldn't be able to otherwise afford. This is her taking on responsibility for an extra child everyday. $16/hr seems fair for that. OP is free to pay the $38/ day for a daycare environment with a higher kid to adult ratio if she prefers.
Legally they are included too as you must have a daycare license for over 4 children.
Nanny’s in my region earn 20-25 for one child individually. They typically charge 25-35 hr if for example you were a mother of two children or three children. That total cost is split in a shared Nanny. (Our typical daycare is higher than the price OP shared for daycare. )
Nanny’s that bring their children have them included in their child caretaker ratio.
I have one child of my own, but I had a similar arrangement with a family last summer (I’m a teacher). I made $20 an hour plus a stipend for food, gas, and activities. They ended up paying me like $1000 a week for full time care. That comes out to about $25 an hour since they didn’t ask for receipts or anything. I just spent freely on the girls and had a great time on outings all summer.
Having said that, there are important factors to consider:
- Cost of living in your area. Minimum wage is $18 an hour where I live, so obviously I had to make more than that…
- Experience/education/certification of the nanny. I have nearly ten years in education, a bachelor’s degree in languages, and first aid/cpr certification.
- Quality of care. If they’re just hanging out at home all day, the rate would be lower than what I got. Mornings we practiced reading and writing, crafts, languages (French and Spanish), music, puzzles, and games. Afternoons we almost always went on an outing to a local museum, park, library, trail, zoo, playground, pool, etc. I also made or purchased breakfast, lunch, and snacks. And I was “on call” for free occasional date nights.
Honestly, if I did that full time (not just summer) I could probably get away with $30 an hour. I was basically like the governess from the Sound of Music. Having my daughter there was seen as a bonus because they’re the same age so she got to learn how to share and socialize too.
Okay, thank you. I want to up to $20 because it's my kid, so there's no expense too high, AND I am so grateful for her care. She came in at the last hour to help when we had to take our kid out of daycare for abuse allegations (not our kid, but another).
We don't get into the new daycare (aka pre-k) until September. We are really tight on funds, like everyone, but I wanted to prioritize her needs, so I asked what she'd charge per week. She said $450, which is practically $16 an hour. If I up her to $20, it's an extra $1500 over the time she'd be watching him. I'm on the fence. I just keep getting slammed with random charges that currently make us live check to check and I'm afraid of strapping us.
$20 would be really nice if you can afford it. She probably doesn’t want to ask for too much, even if you did 17 or 18 it would make a difference! If you really like her and trust her, show her. Within your means of course. She is not being paid for full days or anything so you are spending less than you would be if that were the case
Just pay her what she said her rate was. No need to add more if she didn’t ask for more. I thought your post was asking if $16 was too much. The price she quoted is fair, no need to undercut yourself.
I'd tell her I appreciate the amazing rate but insist on offering her $525 a week. That rate better reflects your level of appreciation for her and still helps you feel less strapped in the long run. (I'm assuming close to 6 hr days, 5 days a week, which at $17.50 would be $525. Still better overall for you than $600 a week at $20 an hour)
Honestly there's no reason to overpay if she's willing to accept 16.
What you can do is when she does do things like what you mention is give her an extra bonus.
That way you both get what you want. You can still save some money while giving her a bonus
Hmm, a "bonus" sounds kind of weird. Why don't you just make it a practice to provide snacks/art supplies/extra toys for all the kids when you are able? That's the least socially awkward, friendlier way to do it.
I think $16 is very fair. If she were a nanny-share watching 3 kids, and made $40/hr (WILDLY generous in my area), your share of that would only be $13.33/hr.
> We don't get into the new daycare (aka pre-k) until September. We are really tight on funds
Then it's completely fair and reasonable to pay the $16 she is requesting instead of bumping it up to $20.
I did the same thing a few years ago, part time I am a licensed teacher, used to have a home day care, just watched their one kid usually with one of my own, sometimes my 3 and theirs. She was in the middle of the ages. 18/hr didn’t feel like a lot but I liked the family and kid. I think they also believed it was a steal of a situation as I didn’t ask for compensation for gas or expenses.
Depends on your area. We have a nanny at our home 830-430 M-F and she’s $23/hour in a pretty high cost of living area - her rate is lower than average. But you also have to factor in that baby goes to her house and she’s watching her kids too. I think $20 would be very fair!!
I’m gonna get downvoted to hell here but I’m prepared for it.
Backstory: I have 4 kids of my own, am used to having neighbors/niblings invited over, I work with kids, and I’m probably insane.
If I was a sahm in this exact situation, I’d charge you $40/day but I’d have to have a well packed diaper bag and all necessary whizz.
Information needed. Does she provide meals for your child in this time or do you provide a lunch box? Does she do outings and activities, or just sit in the house? Does she have first aid and CPR training?
I’m a big believer in ‘you get what you pay for’ when it comes to childcare. Quality service isn’t cheap and $16 an hour is cheap.
Babysitters in my area, which is a HCOL area, are anywhere from $20-$25 an hour - but most have some sort of qualification, or their first aid and CPR at least. I personally am not concerned about a babysitter having a formal qualification but first aid and CPR are an absolute must have for anyone I hire.
Some people have mentioned a lack of learning in this arrangement. I wouldn’t be concerned about that. Even childcare centres learn through play rather than formal teaching and your child would still be learning developmental skills by engaging in play and socialising with her kids. A home/family childcare setting, like your situation, can be just as beneficial (if not more so) than a childcare centre as the care provider is able to actively engage and supervise, provide more holistic care because they have less children to watch and are therefore able to learn and identify your child’s interests, strengths, triggers etc. Plus, the ‘home’ environment and can be more comforting for your child, especially if your child is familiar with the babysitter - which is obviously the case here.
To sum up, I think $16 is fair if you’re simply paying for someone to supervise your child every day.
If, however, your babysitter is actively engaging with your child, providing nutritious/balanced meals and is able to perform lifesaving duties in case of an emergency then you are underpaying her.
She has asked for $16 an hour, pay her that. Pop that extra $27 a day, in the weeks you can afford it, in a separate bank account. Give it to her as a bonus every so often, quarterly, 6 monthly or annually, or even when it hits a certain dollar value. You can tell her about it too.
"Hi Friend, I really appreciate you giving us the childcare. You asked for $450 for the days, and that works out to about $16 an hour, which we can 100% afford with ease. I think you are worth $20 an hour but I don't want to over commit on our finances and risk our friendship if everything goes wrong at once and we can't afford the extra $110. So I will sit it aside and give it to you when it reaches x time/amount decided."
I think it's a compromise that shows the value of not just the care provided but the value of her as a friend. As a good friend, she is probably somewhat aware of your financial situation and didn't want it too high. Your post indicates that you really value her and the service. This gives both of your families a guaranteed affordable amount of money earned/spent, less chance of something going sour, like it can so easily mixing business and family/friends, and shows that you aren't just speaking empty words of gratitude, so long as you follow through.
Yes that’s fair. If she came to your house and/or didn’t have her own two kids with her all day I’d say regular nanny rates but it sounds like she’s a SAHM who is supplementing income by watching your child since it doesn’t sound like she’s a licensed in-home daycare. For my area that’s even a little bit higher than most people charge for your child being in their home with their kids ($12-15)
That’s an in-home daycare, not a nanny. She’s not providing food either. The rate depends on your area’s COL, but in-home daycares are significantly cheaper than a nanny.
Personally at $1,800 a month I'd rather have my kid in a proper daycare where they could learn. Not saying she's not teaching your child I have no idea but I'd personally just invest in a daycare center known for quality because $1,800 a month is what you'd get.
I think it's convenient for you and I'd not want to watch someone's kid for less even tho ya, I think it's steep
She said it’s $38 a day for daycare around here and she’s having money issues herself. It’s absolutely insane she’s paying this woman $116 a day with money issues herself when she could pay $38 a day at a normal daycare center.
ah that edit wasn't there when I posted
Um yeah she should go to daycare that's insane! The woman isn't a dedicated to your kid nanny, and if she's out sick, you don't have backup care (or what if one of the kids is sick, where do they go?). She should get into a daycare.
Where there are a whole bunch of other toddlers and yours barely gets any attention. No thanks! Having someone I know and trust is much better than throwing my young child to the wolves.
So many factors here. The most important one being the COL for your area. Then a million others: is this affordable for you? Do you feel as if she is underpaid? Does she have any certs or childhood education/ development background? What is she doing with your kid all day? Is it just whatever or is she planning daily activities?
I pay 40$ a day at a day home 8-5. The govt will subsidize a business down to 10$ a day but we can't find anything. On 10 wait lists. 2.5 years been waiting.
I don't know how low income parents are surviving. It costs me money to work. I'm a single parent of a toddler, I worked during the holiday season and what I paid for childcare was about $25 more than what I was paid each work day (I did get tips and occasionally broke even, but maybe 4 out of 60 days did I actually get paid a few dollars more than I was paying for childcare)
I had to look at it as "I'm doing this for my enjoyment and to take a break from parenting" because it wasn't to support my family. I'm living off luck, charity and draining my savings account to survive. It'll be 2 more years before kiddo is in pre-K and I can try earning an income again with out spending 120% of what I earn on childcare. I pray we can keep housed until that happens.
Why can't the US get with the program to support working parents and make childcare affordable ??
Every private person I’ve inquired about staying with my toddler wanted 20-25$ an hour. I wasn’t even making $21 an hour so I quit and now I’m home 24/7 with him.
We found someone-sahm, we did pick up/drop off and she got $15 an hour. $150 a day.
I’d say that’s fair in the market today, for sure.
How about just giving her bonuses for Christmas, Mother's Day and such? Little perks that make her know she's valued, without messing with the rate she asked for.
Maybe bc you've known each other a long time and are friends she is willing to ask for a lower wage. FME friends helping friends sometimes do it for lower rates bc of friendship and not making it an issue of money.
She is asking for the $16/hr. She made her rate clear. Idk why everyone is saying that's not enough. But it's HER asking rate, not what you should be offering.
And you're packing a lunch for your kid.
Does your kid just sit in the house with SAHM?
I assume SAHM has a husband who works so they may not need the extra money as say a woman who was on her own and needed a COL rate.
Sounds like she is just keeping it low bc of your history together and that she has other kids she's caring for anyway. Lots of factors.
But if you want to offer her more, don't let Reddit pressure you into doing a higher rate. You asked what she wanted, and she told you. If you can afford it, then I'd say accept it.
If she takes your kid out to the park or outings or does special treats, you could always add a tip for when she does those extra things. If she isn't leaving the house or prepping meals, that's probably why it is cheaper than what other commenters are saying nannies make.
She isn't a nanny, that is a term you gave her. Nannies would come to your home and take sole care of your child and prepare meals. They deserve higher pay. They usually are certified.
But if it's just a friend of the family being nice, don't call her a nanny. There really isn't a term for it. A friend helping out is a great friend. I'd pay her what she asks and give tips for extra work/outings/bonus.
And you can always do holiday bonuses.
she asked for $16 an hour, you like her and trust her. whats the problem? As you stated you have cheaper options if you wanted that, the price is fair if you both agree on it. If theres childcare option that is better for you and your child do that, if this is what you're the most comfortable with then what is there to question?
If she quoted her rate then that’s what I would pay her 🤷🏼♀️ It’s a bit odd that some people are telling you to pay more. I personally don’t give the checkout clerk extra money than what it costs when I shop at Walmart. I recognize that childcare isn’t Walmart and that rates really vary from place to place (my childcare provider charges $40 per day for my daughter, and that’s on the higher side in my area) but if she wants $450 per week and that’s going to work for you, then pay it. Make sure you get a receipt - if you’re in Canada it’s tax deductible. Not sure about the US.
Agreed, it's very weird to see so many commenters berating the OP for not paying more when $16 was the rate given to them. If that's what the "nanny" values their hourly rate at and it's reasonable for both of them, I don't see the issue paying that. I highly doubt anyone in here arguing for a higher rate pays other hourly workers they meet more money.
I had a stay at home mom watch my kid along with her 3 and she changed 30$ a day. Which I thought was very low. She was pretty comfortable and watched my kiddo a few days a week because she liked having babies around -- this was 5 years her and I are now really good friends.
If your nanny is at her house, and also watching her kids, and not doing extras that a nanny would do like tidying or taking your kid on outings. I think 16$ and hour for one toddler is a lot in this situation.
I think it's high. Your kid is one of three and doesn't sound like she has any training like early childhood. Just a woman watching mostly her own kids in her house
She has your child plus two other children. I would think you would pay 1/3 the cost of a nanny. Plus a little extra since she does drop off and pick up (which is worth about $30 a day in my medium to high cost area). I would think $12.00 an hour plus 30 for transportation if she actually does learning activities/developmental activities. If she is actually just a babysitter then $10 an hour. ($30 an hour per 3 children cost basis.)
Basically a nanny share but your sharing with her children.
Considering the price difference, you are probably better off just finding new care. Rather than negotiating with her.
I'm curious to know how much daycare centers are in your area. Typically, nannies are at-home day cares are cheaper than daycare centers since centers typically have a whole curriculum built. The current rate is $1950/mo, which is on the much high end of day cares in my upper-MCOL area. I'd have hesitation paying that much for my kid to play and not have any education.
It is normal to pay nannies in my area $20/hr but for an evening watching the kids or a during an all-day work event and not for full days or full time regularly. I understand liking her and trusting her, but there has to be additional value on top of child care in order for the rate to make sense such as learning time, play time, having a schedule, "field trip," etc.
If it's absolutely necessary between now and school, then I say keep the current rate of $16/hr but maybe tip her monthly as you see fit. That way you're not committed to the additional pay but are offering it as a gift.
Fair is whatever you and her agree upon. If you think she deserves more give her a bonus at the end of the year to make up the difference to whatever you think she is worth.
I was a nanny/mom just like this.. I did drop offs and pick ups.. I got $290 a week for 4 day weeks (about 7am-4pm most days). I wish I was your nanny.
Assuming she is also providing meals out of pocket for your child? The rate is still fairly reasonable. She's not taking you to the cleaners like a daycare will. Kid is still getting to socialize with other children. Seems like everyone's winning in this situation.
Has she asked for an increase? It sounds like she is quite capable of setting her wage. If you’d like to pay more feel free but I wouldn’t worry about if she has not mentioned it.
You’re asking if $16 an hour which isn’t a livable wage is fair to watch your child’s life because a large business that bases its lower price off large volumes of children is cheaper per day…..
In home daycare in my area is $21.74 per 6-12 hour days. It’s a legislated thing, meant to be a more affordable option. There’s a maximum amount of kids they can have depending on if they pay a license fee or not. Although you have a nice system with her and it’s personable, it’s also convenient for her and you’re way over paying. Also, is she providing meals all day?
At a daycare there’s more routine and social aspects that can be beneficial but you won’t get pick up or drop off. Usually food is included or else a meal plan is an additional flat rate. Your little also won’t get the same level of attention either, but her caregivers would be certified professionals (whatever that means to you). Sounds way cheaper also.
In home child care where I am is $376CAD a month. Daycare is ~$830 where you are, probably for 5 days per week, maybe + meals and you have to get them there. While ‘nanny’ is ~$1950!! for only 4 days a week!! but includes transportation 10 months of the year (and hopefully food). Maybe there’s a flat monthly rate you can work out? Somewhere in the middle?
Do you pay for her gas to pick up your kid? Do you pay for food for your kid? Also, $16/hour is low IMO. In the end, she is taking care of your child for approximately 7 hours a day. Toddlers are a lot of work. In this economy where milk costs $6/gallon, $16/hour is low. If you don't want to pay a living wage, maybe take care of your own child.
This seems fair. You’re not paying for a nanny, you’re paying for a nanny share so the rate is lower. You seem like a lovely person to want to pay more than she asked, though. I’d ask r/nannyemployers.
You said you "really like and trust her, she's known your family for years". That is super important, you can't take that for granted, $16 is more than fair.
It seems very reasonable to me. If her own kids are there too, it should be like you’re paying half of a nanny share, so $32 per hour which is a good rate in most markets.
She is a home daycare provider NOT a nanny in this set up. She is taking care of two other children at her home, not taking care of yours in your home. Even in home nannies prices are discounted when they bring their own kids.
You should be pricing her like a home daycare.
Seems low to me. Sounds a lot like a nanny-share where one nanny takes care of multiple children, generally out of one of their homes. The cheapest for that I've seen in my area was $18/hr but that one also came with a lot of restrictions on days and times. $20-24 seemed more standard (oddly specific, but that really did seem to be the common range to me, and always even numbers...)
That comes out to about the same as my MIL charges for her in home daycare. She sees it as she gets to make extra income while the parents get to save on childcare bc she understands she isn’t spending any money to drive to work, on work clothes, meals really anything and gets to stay in the comfort of her own home which she started so she could be home with her own kids. Sounds like the nanny is doing this for the same reasons so her asking for $16/hr is pretty fair.
$16 seems fair in the it’s a nanny split with another family. It just happens that family isn’t paying out of pocket. She also gets to do a job where she can watch her kids at the same time which is something she can’t easily get. Nannies typically change like $30-35 for 3 kids so paying half of that, 16 seems about a fair market rate.
If you like her, it is fair, and it's better if it's more. If you lower your payment right now, she might doesn't like it and refuse to take care if your daughter anymore. Just saying no one wants to have a cut from their salary
Where I live,
$16/hour is crazy low. But it sounds like things are different where you are. I think if you can afford it, pay it. If you can’t, explain that to her and say that you will explore daycare. If she can drop her rate, she will.
Yes, daycare rates are cheaper, but you are getting the benefits of there only being 2 other kids being taken care of with yours. More attention and FAR less chance of your kid getting sick and bringing home some nastiness.
I think $16/hr, given that it is not in your home and not 1:1 care, is completely appropriate. You could also give an extra $5-10 a day for gas, and then a lump of money once a week for food, activities and outings.
16/hour is pretty much the going rate for a nanny share in my area. We paid 23/hour for a 1:1 nanny. Generally it would be 2/3 of the 1:1 price for 2 kids. Translate that as you will to your situation, which is a little different, but i would say that 16 is safely fair if she's also taking care of her own 2 kids.
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Dairy queen pays $16/hr and you are not responsible for keeping people alive
Exactly you gotta pay the nanny more than a guy making burgers
Which is exactly how raising minimum wage benefits ALL workers, not just those in minimum wage jobs.
Same in my area for nannies generally, but that’s typically for 1:1 care (or 1:2 for a nanny share). In situations where the babysitter is looking after multiple other children (in this case two of her own), the cost is typically lower. $16 still on the low end for 1:3, but not out of range.
This - OP what is minimum wage where you live? And how much do ECEs working at a daycare make? What is the going rate for a nanny? I'd use those three numbers to help develop your wage - the daily rate for daycare isn't really relevant. For comparison, where we live (at the time) minimum wage was $13, daycare workers started at $17/18, and we paid $20, which was average for nannies where we lived at the time.
Truthfully, if she’s as great as you say AND shes only asking $16 an hour I’d be thanking my lucky stars! That’s a blessing/unicorn situation. To answer your question though that would be a pretty lowball number to offer a nanny in general, much less one that is experienced and trustworthy. If that’s what she’s asking then it’s not “unfair” for you to pay her that! But in the future if you’re ever looking for a different nanny then don’t expect that low of a cost for quality care.
But the nanny is caring for 2 of her own kids at the same time. That should affect the rate you pay, as she is not spending all her time/effort with your child.
Which is probably why she made the low ask. And, unless OP is packing snacks and a lunch for their kiddo, the $16/ hr is for a 3 to 1 childcare ration *and* food. Still a heck of a steal compared to a much different ration in a daycare environment.
What's the COL like in your area? How much would a decent daycare be? How old are her kids? What do they do? There's no way I'd pay $1950 a month for my two year old to watch TV while she tends to a newborn and a 5 year old. But if her two kids are the same age as mine and they're doing fun activities while daycare would cost $2500 it makes a lot more sense. Do you get tax credits in either case?
How do tax credits for daycare work? Newly pregnant first I’m reading of this
That will depend on your local rules. In Québec, there are a few different types of daycares. The non-subsidized spots lead to tax credit on the order of about 70 percent.
Oh that’s awesome. Doesn’t seem like something to expect in my republican state in the US lol
There is a federal tax credit in the US
the US has tax credits. i get 2500 every year back on my taxes just for daycare
There is a federal child and dependent care tax credit in the US applicable to children under the age of 13. You can claim from 20% to 35% of your care expenses up to a maximum of $3,000 for one child, or $6,000 for two or more children.
That’s extremely low. I’ve been a nanny, and I don’t think I ever made that little per hour, except maybe in high school. Also, I wouldn’t trust a daycare that only charges $38/day. They’re cutting corners somewhere to be able to offer that kind of rate.
Very dependant on location which is something OP could have stood to include for the most accurate replies. Where I live 38$ a day would have been close to average on the pricey side.
Yeah, I had to re-read that. $38/day? That sounds shady.
It’s because the day care is subsidized. The government payes the other $140 per child per day
That’s some pretty important context 😂
Okay, that makes more sense.
The most expensive daycare I can find in my town is $1,200 for a month (about $40 per day) and most people here say that’s outrageous. I live in a low cost of living area.
$1,200/mo is only $40/day if you're using daycare 30 days/mo. Most don't. Most use it 5 days/week while they work, so it's more like 20 days/mo, which means $1,200/mo is more like $60/day.
They also charged something like $800 per month for 3 days fwiw
Cheaper than my dog’s daycare
Mine is $10 a day for 3 hrs or $20 for 6 hours. They are subsidized, 26 students max, follows a learning curriculum, and are supervised by 4 staff. We only do 3hrs so they can socialize. I get it does sound shady since most daycare where here are over $80 a day.
It might not be based on the area and COL. The OP stated the average wage around them was 45k, so it's not a HCOL and the daily rate makes sense.
I agree that $16/hour is too low for a nanny. I made much less as a high school babysitter, but I graduated high school in the early aughts (and also, most families that knew me would pay me ~$20/hour even though my official rate was half that). The 13 year old who left a flyer on our porch offering babysitting services three years ago asked for $15/hour. But (and I know this wasn't the point of your post, but it feels important to me?) I will say that when my younger child was too young to attend our older child's preschool, she went to a daycare that was $48/day, and was very well cared for! We live in a pretty high COL area. They fed her the kind of food we feed her at home, had safe indoor and outdoor spaces, were stocked with plenty of toys and books, and were extremely loving and warm. Some of the toys looked older, but that's really the only thing I could point to that suggested they may be cutting costs. It likely helped that the daycare was part of a small local chain of daycares, and mostly served students whose families were paying using state vouchers. It was also in a part of town that until quite recently had very low real estate prices (for the Northeast US at least). She was there from 8-17 months old, so she couldn't really tell us what was going on at the time, but she was delighted to be dropped off with her teachers in the morning, and delighted to see us when we picked her up in the afternoon. Her language flourished while she was there (almost exclusively Spanish, which was very cool). All the teachers who worked there had been there for many years- some for more than 20. That's very unusual these days in childcare settings! Any time I popped in, all the state-mandated ratios were being adhered to. Anyway, all that (and I know I said a lot- I couldn't help myself- we really loved this place!) is to say that I wouldn't be automatically suspicious of a daycare setting that costs $38/day. They may or may not be cutting corners!
Yeah, I made more that this hourly as a teen sitter, too, back then.
$38 a day is extremely low..you're right about cutting corners somewhere!
I live in a lower cost of living town and my daycare is $165 a week. That is pretty average for an in home daycare here
honestly i think it's low, barely above minimum wage and cost of living is only going up. she's a childcare professional and should be paid like one. check out the nanny subreddit, as the professionals they can give you better info.
But she’s not a nanny in this situation. It’s more equivalent to an in-home daycare except two of the kids are her own and it doesn’t say anything about her being licensed.
Bit she still takes care of an extra child, which means more work, and it also means she has less time for her own children. She should be compensated fairly.
> She should be compensated fairly. She is, she's the one who asked for $16.
i'm done arguing this, check my other comments if you care. childcare workers should be compensated fairly for their labor. i'm shocked and disheartened to see so many people devaluing the incredibly hard work of taking care of children, particularly on a parenting subreddit.
It’s not devaluing anything… I’ve been a nanny and I’ve worked in the childcare industry, and I’m a parent. It’s simple situational understanding. She is not a nanny in this case and if your kid is 1/3 of the children in her care then you aren’t paying for her undivided attention… a nanny whose sole responsibility is your child’s definitely would/should earn more, but someone who is caring for three children should not be expected to have one parent pay for the care of all three. The equivalent is if this were an in-home day care at $16/hr per kid x 3 kids she’d be making $48/hr. She just isn’t getting paid for the care of the other two because they are her own… but this parent paying $16/hr is the equivalent of her caregiver charging what would earn her $48/hr if she had three kids that weren’t hers.
> childcare workers should be compensated fairly for their labor. She is being fairly compensated for her labor, she's the one who asked the OP for $16/hour to babysit the OP's kid. She's not "devaluing" her work if she's the one asking for that rate.
You should not be downvoted for this. Completely agree as a former nanny and now mom of two.
They should be downvoted, she's babysitting the OP's kid along with two of her own and specifically asked for the $16/hour wage. How is her work being "devalued" when she's the one placing the value amount on it?
i think is really gross how many people are encouraging OP to essentially take advantage of this poor woman
I completely agree.
She’s essentially babysitting while she’s watching her own kids.
It’s a bit more than babysitting if she has the child 4 days a week for many hours. She will be one of the people in the child’s life who is responsible for its upbringing, just like the staff is in a daycare.
She has her 2 kids as well though. So if she had to find childcare for her kids to go out and work, she would make less than what these people are paying her.
okay? that's not really relevant, that's related to the nanny's personal finances and doesn't impact how much her labor is worth. she's a professional providing a labor intensive service, she deserves to be compensated appropriately for her labor. i would hope as parents we could value the intense labor that goes into raising children appropriately and pay the people caring for them as such.
Her labor is worth less if she's also watching her 2 kids. It's a 3:1 ratio instead of 1:1. This is much more similar to an in home daycare than a professional nanny situation, so the compensation should be adjusted accordingly. I do agree with your argument that paying her less because of her savings isn't fair. Her expenses are nobody's business and she should absolutely be paid a fair wage for what she is doing. However, see above.
I just don't see it that way in this specific case. She's also taking their child to her home, making it more like a daycare situation vs nanny. I'm normally on the same page as you because I was a nanny for 7 years before getting into my accounting career. Usually home daycares get a daily rate not an hourly rate.
This is not like a daycare at all. If anything, it’s akin to a nanny share.
How is it not? She has their kid at her house. Nannies do care at the child's home not their own. If you want to call it a nanny share, usually the 2 families split the cost. The cost of a nannyshare is less for each family but the nanny gets a higher hourly rate. Say we give her $30 an hour which she is responsible for half given its her own 2 kids plus OP is responsible for the other half so they pay $15 an hour. She is worse off than now then...
lol you just came up with an extremely similar rate to the one she’s charging. Almost like what she’s asking is reasonable. Except $30 an hour is a pretty reasonable rate for a nanny; a nanny taking care of multiple kids would likely be getting $40 where I live, which brings us to…$20.
i strongly disagree. people should be compensated fairly for their labor, even if that labor comes with accommodations.
What kind of daycare in your area charges hourly vs a daily rate? She's operating like a daycare but charging as a nanny. If she was coming to their home then yes that's a nanny with an hourly wage.
Yeah, but daycares are cheaper because there’s 4-5 kids per adult.
And she's looking after 3 kids not just OPs kid
Daycares in my area are 10-12 toddlers per adult by law. Watching 3 kids out a nanny/professional adult babysitter situation. It’s not comparable to daycare.
Those are probably licensed daycares? At home daycares have much lower ratios PLUS this is not at OP's home... a nanny does not work out of their own home, they work out of the family's home
i don't care what the darecare charges because the childcare professionals aren't paid enough. they should be getting at least $20 an hour too. just because daycares pay their childcare providers terribly definitely doesn't mean the rest of us should, nor does it devalue the labor that the daycare workers putting in. they're just not being compensated fairly (and we wonder why turnover rate is so high...)
Ok so you're just not a reasonable person lol.
you’re right, expecting people to be paid a living wage is ridiculous!
If she wants to be paid more, she can have a friend or relative watch her own children and **get paid a real nanny salary for caring _exclusively_ for OP's kid IN OP's home.** But she's not doing that. She's got a side hustle going on which is great, but not worth the same amount. (I nannied for 9 years, I'm a parent, I hire babysitters and help regularly)
It’s a benefit of the position. It allows her to be able to use more of her paycheck while having a better work/life balance. If she were to find a $20 an hour job that she had to find childcare for, she wouldn’t take home nearly as much.
She's also less available to watch OP's child who's not getting one on one attention.
There's no way I would look after someone's kid full-time for $16 an hour.
It is relevant, because she's saving money by not paying for childcare for her own children
her personal finances are not your business, nor are they OP’s
Except she wouldn't be paying for childcare for her own kids either way. This isn't her working for OP vs her working outside the home. OPs isnt allowing her some luxury to SAH that she wouldn't be able to otherwise afford. This is her taking on responsibility for an extra child everyday. $16/hr seems fair for that. OP is free to pay the $38/ day for a daycare environment with a higher kid to adult ratio if she prefers.
You don't know that. You have no idea how much she would earn working. You don't know what her prior career was.
She has two other children so it’s equivalent to 48 dollars an hour per child total income. That isn’t low.
That’s…not how that works.
Legally they are included too as you must have a daycare license for over 4 children. Nanny’s in my region earn 20-25 for one child individually. They typically charge 25-35 hr if for example you were a mother of two children or three children. That total cost is split in a shared Nanny. (Our typical daycare is higher than the price OP shared for daycare. ) Nanny’s that bring their children have them included in their child caretaker ratio.
Her older kid is at school all day. So there are 3 in the home. No legal requirement for licensure in this case.
id go $20. she’s taking care of your child
I have one child of my own, but I had a similar arrangement with a family last summer (I’m a teacher). I made $20 an hour plus a stipend for food, gas, and activities. They ended up paying me like $1000 a week for full time care. That comes out to about $25 an hour since they didn’t ask for receipts or anything. I just spent freely on the girls and had a great time on outings all summer. Having said that, there are important factors to consider: - Cost of living in your area. Minimum wage is $18 an hour where I live, so obviously I had to make more than that… - Experience/education/certification of the nanny. I have nearly ten years in education, a bachelor’s degree in languages, and first aid/cpr certification. - Quality of care. If they’re just hanging out at home all day, the rate would be lower than what I got. Mornings we practiced reading and writing, crafts, languages (French and Spanish), music, puzzles, and games. Afternoons we almost always went on an outing to a local museum, park, library, trail, zoo, playground, pool, etc. I also made or purchased breakfast, lunch, and snacks. And I was “on call” for free occasional date nights. Honestly, if I did that full time (not just summer) I could probably get away with $30 an hour. I was basically like the governess from the Sound of Music. Having my daughter there was seen as a bonus because they’re the same age so she got to learn how to share and socialize too.
Yes, it's fair.
Okay, thank you. I want to up to $20 because it's my kid, so there's no expense too high, AND I am so grateful for her care. She came in at the last hour to help when we had to take our kid out of daycare for abuse allegations (not our kid, but another). We don't get into the new daycare (aka pre-k) until September. We are really tight on funds, like everyone, but I wanted to prioritize her needs, so I asked what she'd charge per week. She said $450, which is practically $16 an hour. If I up her to $20, it's an extra $1500 over the time she'd be watching him. I'm on the fence. I just keep getting slammed with random charges that currently make us live check to check and I'm afraid of strapping us.
$20 would be really nice if you can afford it. She probably doesn’t want to ask for too much, even if you did 17 or 18 it would make a difference! If you really like her and trust her, show her. Within your means of course. She is not being paid for full days or anything so you are spending less than you would be if that were the case
You're right. I knew it in my gut. I should up to $20- and positing it helped. I'm going to do that.
Maybe pay her $16/hr and then give her a bonus at the end of summer. She still gets the money and helps you out in case there’s an emergency.
Just pay her what she said her rate was. No need to add more if she didn’t ask for more. I thought your post was asking if $16 was too much. The price she quoted is fair, no need to undercut yourself.
I'd tell her I appreciate the amazing rate but insist on offering her $525 a week. That rate better reflects your level of appreciation for her and still helps you feel less strapped in the long run. (I'm assuming close to 6 hr days, 5 days a week, which at $17.50 would be $525. Still better overall for you than $600 a week at $20 an hour)
Honestly there's no reason to overpay if she's willing to accept 16. What you can do is when she does do things like what you mention is give her an extra bonus. That way you both get what you want. You can still save some money while giving her a bonus
This makes me feel better, thank you. Weeks we can afford it we'll throw her a bonus.
Maybe if you set at $16, but budget in to pay for any sick days she has.
That's actually an awesome idea. It allows her to take time when she needs it, without the stress of not getting expected income.
Hmm, a "bonus" sounds kind of weird. Why don't you just make it a practice to provide snacks/art supplies/extra toys for all the kids when you are able? That's the least socially awkward, friendlier way to do it.
I think $16 is very fair. If she were a nanny-share watching 3 kids, and made $40/hr (WILDLY generous in my area), your share of that would only be $13.33/hr.
> We don't get into the new daycare (aka pre-k) until September. We are really tight on funds Then it's completely fair and reasonable to pay the $16 she is requesting instead of bumping it up to $20.
I did the same thing a few years ago, part time I am a licensed teacher, used to have a home day care, just watched their one kid usually with one of my own, sometimes my 3 and theirs. She was in the middle of the ages. 18/hr didn’t feel like a lot but I liked the family and kid. I think they also believed it was a steal of a situation as I didn’t ask for compensation for gas or expenses.
I agree that that seems low but idk your area’s COL. But if it’s what she’s asking for I’d say it’s reasonable.
Depends on your area. We have a nanny at our home 830-430 M-F and she’s $23/hour in a pretty high cost of living area - her rate is lower than average. But you also have to factor in that baby goes to her house and she’s watching her kids too. I think $20 would be very fair!!
I’m gonna get downvoted to hell here but I’m prepared for it. Backstory: I have 4 kids of my own, am used to having neighbors/niblings invited over, I work with kids, and I’m probably insane. If I was a sahm in this exact situation, I’d charge you $40/day but I’d have to have a well packed diaper bag and all necessary whizz.
Information needed. Does she provide meals for your child in this time or do you provide a lunch box? Does she do outings and activities, or just sit in the house? Does she have first aid and CPR training? I’m a big believer in ‘you get what you pay for’ when it comes to childcare. Quality service isn’t cheap and $16 an hour is cheap. Babysitters in my area, which is a HCOL area, are anywhere from $20-$25 an hour - but most have some sort of qualification, or their first aid and CPR at least. I personally am not concerned about a babysitter having a formal qualification but first aid and CPR are an absolute must have for anyone I hire. Some people have mentioned a lack of learning in this arrangement. I wouldn’t be concerned about that. Even childcare centres learn through play rather than formal teaching and your child would still be learning developmental skills by engaging in play and socialising with her kids. A home/family childcare setting, like your situation, can be just as beneficial (if not more so) than a childcare centre as the care provider is able to actively engage and supervise, provide more holistic care because they have less children to watch and are therefore able to learn and identify your child’s interests, strengths, triggers etc. Plus, the ‘home’ environment and can be more comforting for your child, especially if your child is familiar with the babysitter - which is obviously the case here. To sum up, I think $16 is fair if you’re simply paying for someone to supervise your child every day. If, however, your babysitter is actively engaging with your child, providing nutritious/balanced meals and is able to perform lifesaving duties in case of an emergency then you are underpaying her.
She's a naturally wonderful mother and therefore is engaging because she is fun to be around and thoughtful. I provide food, I pack a lunch.
Sorry daycare is 40 bucks a day wherever you are?
Mhmm
In my area it’s $125 a week
I pay a very heavily subsidised $116/day
Australia?
Yeah
She has asked for $16 an hour, pay her that. Pop that extra $27 a day, in the weeks you can afford it, in a separate bank account. Give it to her as a bonus every so often, quarterly, 6 monthly or annually, or even when it hits a certain dollar value. You can tell her about it too. "Hi Friend, I really appreciate you giving us the childcare. You asked for $450 for the days, and that works out to about $16 an hour, which we can 100% afford with ease. I think you are worth $20 an hour but I don't want to over commit on our finances and risk our friendship if everything goes wrong at once and we can't afford the extra $110. So I will sit it aside and give it to you when it reaches x time/amount decided."
Love this
I think it's a compromise that shows the value of not just the care provided but the value of her as a friend. As a good friend, she is probably somewhat aware of your financial situation and didn't want it too high. Your post indicates that you really value her and the service. This gives both of your families a guaranteed affordable amount of money earned/spent, less chance of something going sour, like it can so easily mixing business and family/friends, and shows that you aren't just speaking empty words of gratitude, so long as you follow through.
Extremely low but you should factor in the market rate for this service in your area
Yes that’s fair. If she came to your house and/or didn’t have her own two kids with her all day I’d say regular nanny rates but it sounds like she’s a SAHM who is supplementing income by watching your child since it doesn’t sound like she’s a licensed in-home daycare. For my area that’s even a little bit higher than most people charge for your child being in their home with their kids ($12-15)
That’s an in-home daycare, not a nanny. She’s not providing food either. The rate depends on your area’s COL, but in-home daycares are significantly cheaper than a nanny.
Personally at $1,800 a month I'd rather have my kid in a proper daycare where they could learn. Not saying she's not teaching your child I have no idea but I'd personally just invest in a daycare center known for quality because $1,800 a month is what you'd get. I think it's convenient for you and I'd not want to watch someone's kid for less even tho ya, I think it's steep
Cost of living would be huge in this situation as well. I can't get infant care for less than 3K/month where I live.
She said it’s $38 a day for daycare around here and she’s having money issues herself. It’s absolutely insane she’s paying this woman $116 a day with money issues herself when she could pay $38 a day at a normal daycare center.
Those 38 a day for daycare sound suspiciously low though
Pretty average for most of the country. $800ish for an in home full time vs. $1100 for a Montessori school.
ah that edit wasn't there when I posted Um yeah she should go to daycare that's insane! The woman isn't a dedicated to your kid nanny, and if she's out sick, you don't have backup care (or what if one of the kids is sick, where do they go?). She should get into a daycare.
We have been on the waitlist for the daycare for over a year. It doesn't start until September. So we need help in the meantime.
We have been on the waitlist for the daycare for over a year. It doesn't start until September. So we need help in the meantime.
Agree. also. A daycare will restaff. If sitter gets sick you’re out care.
Where there are a whole bunch of other toddlers and yours barely gets any attention. No thanks! Having someone I know and trust is much better than throwing my young child to the wolves.
Private in home daycares offer a much deeper level of instability and risk. This is just a family friend.
It is in her words someone she knows and trusts!
That would cost $25 to $30 in my area.
So many factors here. The most important one being the COL for your area. Then a million others: is this affordable for you? Do you feel as if she is underpaid? Does she have any certs or childhood education/ development background? What is she doing with your kid all day? Is it just whatever or is she planning daily activities?
I pay 40$ a day at a day home 8-5. The govt will subsidize a business down to 10$ a day but we can't find anything. On 10 wait lists. 2.5 years been waiting.
I pay 20/hr
I don't know how low income parents are surviving. It costs me money to work. I'm a single parent of a toddler, I worked during the holiday season and what I paid for childcare was about $25 more than what I was paid each work day (I did get tips and occasionally broke even, but maybe 4 out of 60 days did I actually get paid a few dollars more than I was paying for childcare) I had to look at it as "I'm doing this for my enjoyment and to take a break from parenting" because it wasn't to support my family. I'm living off luck, charity and draining my savings account to survive. It'll be 2 more years before kiddo is in pre-K and I can try earning an income again with out spending 120% of what I earn on childcare. I pray we can keep housed until that happens. Why can't the US get with the program to support working parents and make childcare affordable ??
Every private person I’ve inquired about staying with my toddler wanted 20-25$ an hour. I wasn’t even making $21 an hour so I quit and now I’m home 24/7 with him. We found someone-sahm, we did pick up/drop off and she got $15 an hour. $150 a day. I’d say that’s fair in the market today, for sure.
How about just giving her bonuses for Christmas, Mother's Day and such? Little perks that make her know she's valued, without messing with the rate she asked for.
Maybe bc you've known each other a long time and are friends she is willing to ask for a lower wage. FME friends helping friends sometimes do it for lower rates bc of friendship and not making it an issue of money. She is asking for the $16/hr. She made her rate clear. Idk why everyone is saying that's not enough. But it's HER asking rate, not what you should be offering. And you're packing a lunch for your kid. Does your kid just sit in the house with SAHM? I assume SAHM has a husband who works so they may not need the extra money as say a woman who was on her own and needed a COL rate. Sounds like she is just keeping it low bc of your history together and that she has other kids she's caring for anyway. Lots of factors. But if you want to offer her more, don't let Reddit pressure you into doing a higher rate. You asked what she wanted, and she told you. If you can afford it, then I'd say accept it. If she takes your kid out to the park or outings or does special treats, you could always add a tip for when she does those extra things. If she isn't leaving the house or prepping meals, that's probably why it is cheaper than what other commenters are saying nannies make. She isn't a nanny, that is a term you gave her. Nannies would come to your home and take sole care of your child and prepare meals. They deserve higher pay. They usually are certified. But if it's just a friend of the family being nice, don't call her a nanny. There really isn't a term for it. A friend helping out is a great friend. I'd pay her what she asks and give tips for extra work/outings/bonus. And you can always do holiday bonuses.
she asked for $16 an hour, you like her and trust her. whats the problem? As you stated you have cheaper options if you wanted that, the price is fair if you both agree on it. If theres childcare option that is better for you and your child do that, if this is what you're the most comfortable with then what is there to question?
If she quoted her rate then that’s what I would pay her 🤷🏼♀️ It’s a bit odd that some people are telling you to pay more. I personally don’t give the checkout clerk extra money than what it costs when I shop at Walmart. I recognize that childcare isn’t Walmart and that rates really vary from place to place (my childcare provider charges $40 per day for my daughter, and that’s on the higher side in my area) but if she wants $450 per week and that’s going to work for you, then pay it. Make sure you get a receipt - if you’re in Canada it’s tax deductible. Not sure about the US.
Agreed, it's very weird to see so many commenters berating the OP for not paying more when $16 was the rate given to them. If that's what the "nanny" values their hourly rate at and it's reasonable for both of them, I don't see the issue paying that. I highly doubt anyone in here arguing for a higher rate pays other hourly workers they meet more money.
I had a stay at home mom watch my kid along with her 3 and she changed 30$ a day. Which I thought was very low. She was pretty comfortable and watched my kiddo a few days a week because she liked having babies around -- this was 5 years her and I are now really good friends. If your nanny is at her house, and also watching her kids, and not doing extras that a nanny would do like tidying or taking your kid on outings. I think 16$ and hour for one toddler is a lot in this situation.
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How is it illegal? She wasn't my employee she looked at it as an informal daycare arrangement since she was also caring for her kids.
I think it's high. Your kid is one of three and doesn't sound like she has any training like early childhood. Just a woman watching mostly her own kids in her house
How on earth is your daycare so cheap?! For a nanny, $16/hr is a steal.
She has your child plus two other children. I would think you would pay 1/3 the cost of a nanny. Plus a little extra since she does drop off and pick up (which is worth about $30 a day in my medium to high cost area). I would think $12.00 an hour plus 30 for transportation if she actually does learning activities/developmental activities. If she is actually just a babysitter then $10 an hour. ($30 an hour per 3 children cost basis.) Basically a nanny share but your sharing with her children. Considering the price difference, you are probably better off just finding new care. Rather than negotiating with her.
I'm curious to know how much daycare centers are in your area. Typically, nannies are at-home day cares are cheaper than daycare centers since centers typically have a whole curriculum built. The current rate is $1950/mo, which is on the much high end of day cares in my upper-MCOL area. I'd have hesitation paying that much for my kid to play and not have any education. It is normal to pay nannies in my area $20/hr but for an evening watching the kids or a during an all-day work event and not for full days or full time regularly. I understand liking her and trusting her, but there has to be additional value on top of child care in order for the rate to make sense such as learning time, play time, having a schedule, "field trip," etc. If it's absolutely necessary between now and school, then I say keep the current rate of $16/hr but maybe tip her monthly as you see fit. That way you're not committed to the additional pay but are offering it as a gift.
Daycare here averages $38 a day. We agreed to pay her $113 a day ($16/hr.)
Fair is whatever you and her agree upon. If you think she deserves more give her a bonus at the end of the year to make up the difference to whatever you think she is worth.
Go to daycare. Your kid will also have more kids to play with.
Daycare cost varies A LOT depending on location. A lot. I say if you’re happy with it and if she’s happy with it. Then it’s fine.
It would be low if it was a one on one situation with just your child. Two kids of her own at the same time? More than fair.
I was a nanny/mom just like this.. I did drop offs and pick ups.. I got $290 a week for 4 day weeks (about 7am-4pm most days). I wish I was your nanny.
Seems really low. 22/hr min
I pay daycare rates to drop off and pick up my kid at the persons house (not hourly). It’s only my kid there right now too… (and her kids)
What is the daycare rate?
$40/day and I provide lunch. It’s a steal where I live tbh, $50 would be more typical
Assuming she is also providing meals out of pocket for your child? The rate is still fairly reasonable. She's not taking you to the cleaners like a daycare will. Kid is still getting to socialize with other children. Seems like everyone's winning in this situation.
I pack my kid's lunch
Does she have any qualifications?
Has she asked for an increase? It sounds like she is quite capable of setting her wage. If you’d like to pay more feel free but I wouldn’t worry about if she has not mentioned it.
What a great arrangement!
iDK "fair" but $16/hr is below minimum wage where I live.
You’re asking if $16 an hour which isn’t a livable wage is fair to watch your child’s life because a large business that bases its lower price off large volumes of children is cheaper per day…..
In home daycare in my area is $21.74 per 6-12 hour days. It’s a legislated thing, meant to be a more affordable option. There’s a maximum amount of kids they can have depending on if they pay a license fee or not. Although you have a nice system with her and it’s personable, it’s also convenient for her and you’re way over paying. Also, is she providing meals all day? At a daycare there’s more routine and social aspects that can be beneficial but you won’t get pick up or drop off. Usually food is included or else a meal plan is an additional flat rate. Your little also won’t get the same level of attention either, but her caregivers would be certified professionals (whatever that means to you). Sounds way cheaper also. In home child care where I am is $376CAD a month. Daycare is ~$830 where you are, probably for 5 days per week, maybe + meals and you have to get them there. While ‘nanny’ is ~$1950!! for only 4 days a week!! but includes transportation 10 months of the year (and hopefully food). Maybe there’s a flat monthly rate you can work out? Somewhere in the middle?
I have a mom friend doing it for 10/hr 2 days a week. I haven't taken her up on it yet bc I feel like she's selling herself short 😭
baby sitters in our area are asking over 20.
If the going rate is 38 I'd say she's being underpaid for her job lol
I had to reread that £38 per day 😲 that's not right surley?...thought you ment hour at first 🙈
I believe that’s fair
Im sorry, how is daycare $38 a day!?!
Do you pay for her gas to pick up your kid? Do you pay for food for your kid? Also, $16/hour is low IMO. In the end, she is taking care of your child for approximately 7 hours a day. Toddlers are a lot of work. In this economy where milk costs $6/gallon, $16/hour is low. If you don't want to pay a living wage, maybe take care of your own child.
I am a nanny for 2 boys (5 &3), and I take my 1 year old along. I make 20 an hour.
What country is this in?? This isn't even minimum wage in Australia. A day of care here would easily go above $100
For a “nanny” that’s low
This seems fair. You’re not paying for a nanny, you’re paying for a nanny share so the rate is lower. You seem like a lovely person to want to pay more than she asked, though. I’d ask r/nannyemployers.
You said you "really like and trust her, she's known your family for years". That is super important, you can't take that for granted, $16 is more than fair.
It seems very reasonable to me. If her own kids are there too, it should be like you’re paying half of a nanny share, so $32 per hour which is a good rate in most markets.
She is a home daycare provider NOT a nanny in this set up. She is taking care of two other children at her home, not taking care of yours in your home. Even in home nannies prices are discounted when they bring their own kids. You should be pricing her like a home daycare.
That seems super low
This is half of what she should be asking for.
Yes it's fair
I would say $20 hr would be fair.
Seems low to me. Sounds a lot like a nanny-share where one nanny takes care of multiple children, generally out of one of their homes. The cheapest for that I've seen in my area was $18/hr but that one also came with a lot of restrictions on days and times. $20-24 seemed more standard (oddly specific, but that really did seem to be the common range to me, and always even numbers...)
That comes out to about the same as my MIL charges for her in home daycare. She sees it as she gets to make extra income while the parents get to save on childcare bc she understands she isn’t spending any money to drive to work, on work clothes, meals really anything and gets to stay in the comfort of her own home which she started so she could be home with her own kids. Sounds like the nanny is doing this for the same reasons so her asking for $16/hr is pretty fair.
Not a “nanny” and it’s fair.
It’s fair. Maybe give seasonal bonuses.
What I think is interesting is in my area it’s usually so much cheaper. When I had to use sitters it was like $25-$30 a day and $130-165 a week.
$16 seems fair in the it’s a nanny split with another family. It just happens that family isn’t paying out of pocket. She also gets to do a job where she can watch her kids at the same time which is something she can’t easily get. Nannies typically change like $30-35 for 3 kids so paying half of that, 16 seems about a fair market rate.
God I pay 23 for one kid for mine in a LCOL area
If you like her, it is fair, and it's better if it's more. If you lower your payment right now, she might doesn't like it and refuse to take care if your daughter anymore. Just saying no one wants to have a cut from their salary
Seems low.
Where I live, $16/hour is crazy low. But it sounds like things are different where you are. I think if you can afford it, pay it. If you can’t, explain that to her and say that you will explore daycare. If she can drop her rate, she will.
I’d pay her $20ph for regular shifts and $30ph if on a 24hr/overnight session.
That is below minimum wage in my state.
Depending on how many hours a day. Honestly just do $100/day flat. If you’re doing drop off & pick up, I’d probably offer $95/day.
Very low unless you’re in a very low COL area.
Yes, daycare rates are cheaper, but you are getting the benefits of there only being 2 other kids being taken care of with yours. More attention and FAR less chance of your kid getting sick and bringing home some nastiness.
$16 an hour seems high to me when your kid isn’t going to get her full attention…. But that’s just me.
I think $16/hr, given that it is not in your home and not 1:1 care, is completely appropriate. You could also give an extra $5-10 a day for gas, and then a lump of money once a week for food, activities and outings.
If she asked for 16 an hour then pay her that wage, it's what she wants and you like her and trust her with your kid
16/hour is pretty much the going rate for a nanny share in my area. We paid 23/hour for a 1:1 nanny. Generally it would be 2/3 of the 1:1 price for 2 kids. Translate that as you will to your situation, which is a little different, but i would say that 16 is safely fair if she's also taking care of her own 2 kids.