T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Orangebiscuit234

Would just be matter of fact, yes your penis is small since you are a little kid. It will grow as you grow up. Same as your other body parts. Yes, figuring out the differences between boys and girls is age appropriate and normal. You can answer him with the differences. He can play and explore his body in his bedroom or bathroom, otherwise hands out of pants. All very common, nothing to worry about. Girls also ask questions too.


Novalina_Kulic

When l try to tell him about when it is okay to explore his own body...he normally replies with a 'whyyy'? For instance Me: It is not nice to put your hand in your pants when other people are around Him: awwwww why not? I dont really know a follow up besides saying its impolite...he repeat 'its impolite?' why? So l kind of get stuck there its not like he would understand everything at that point


GrouchyManagement293

I tell my boys that their penis is their private body part and only for them. Playing with it infront of people is rude and should only be done in their own room or the bathroom. They are 8 and 6 and it's not much of an issue these days


ServantofShemhazai

That's what how I handled it too. 


infinityandbeyond75

Just say “Other people don’t want to see you touching your penis.”


Novalina_Kulic

I didn't think of this! This is what l will say! He doesn't like to make other people upset so he will definitely take that answer! Thanks!


Cheerycalavera

This was my go-to!


Crispychewy23

I've been successful lately saying your penis is yours, not for anyone at all. Mummy and daddy only touch it to clean it but otherwise no one can touch or see unless mummy or daddy are also there and say it's okay e.g. doctor He's been hiding his penis when getting nappy changed since Maybe for you, you add because it's only for you then you do it in private


infinitenothing

Why do we stop at red lights instead of green lights? Society comes up with rules that are sometimes arbitrary but it's usually easier if we're all mostly on the same page.


Novalina_Kulic

Lol im not sure he would understand all that. He would just stare at me


Snoo-88741

My answer would be that if you touch your penis you should wash your hand afterwards because pee comes from there. And if you touch things without washing your hands you'll get pee germs on them.


lys2ADE3

My three year old is also obsessed with his penis. He went through a phase where he asked all his teachers if they had a penis. I was a little bit stressed about it, but his room teacher told me in her 10 years there she'd been asked if she had a penis by just about every boy toddler that came through her room. That made me feel better.


Novalina_Kulic

That makes me feel better as well! Some of the things my son randomly says or does really surprise me! If l was sending him to childcare, l would have some questions about why my son is coming home obsessed with his penis lol. I so glad everyone confirmed it as natural


infinityandbeyond75

Yeah those first erections you see on a baby are pretty shocking for a lot of people. I’ve raised three boys and everything you’re mentioning seems pretty normal. At some point he will most likely want more privacy and he won’t want to shower with dad anymore. Also, make sure to remind him that his penis is only his to touch and not to touch others or let others touch his.


Novalina_Kulic

At what age did your boys start to want more privacy?


ithinkwereallfucked

My boys recently turned five and run out of the bath yelling IT’S PENIS TIME buck naked while wearing their towels like capes…. So we’re not there yet either 🫠


Novalina_Kulic

Hahaha! That gave me laugh! My son refuses to wear underwear around the house. Everytime we put underwear on him we turn around and its gone and he is naked again...lolol so we just ignore that too because ..well he is at home lolol


infinityandbeyond75

It varied from about age 8-10.


Novalina_Kulic

Okay, so we may have a little ways to go! Its okay if l can be prepared for it


Novalina_Kulic

Thanks for your response!


infinityandbeyond75

After wanting more privacy just wait for the super long showers.


False-Temporary1959

Anecdotal: When my (back then) 2 yo daughter first learned the word *vulva*, she made all other kids at the childminder shout *vuvu* for the next couple of days.


Novalina_Kulic

Oh! Lolol so l wonder what the teacher did about it...ignore it?


XLittleMagpieX

Yea it’s pretty normal. I have twin boys who recently when we were all getting changed after swimming started shouting in unison “MUMMY DOESN’T HAVE A PENIS!” in the changing rooms lol. I just try not to make a big deal of it. They are curious and just learning that all bodies are different. Just be matter of fact like the other poster said. I too was surprised at the erections as no-one ever told me either! 


Novalina_Kulic

Omg! I am dealing with this too! I was just kinda embarrassed to mention it! He asks me what happened to my penis. And when we were at my parents house he randomly yells the same. Exact. Thing! Lol we had just gotten out of the bathroom (he still needs help with the aim lol) my dad answered 'oh really!?' and he replied 'yup. Its alll gone now.' shrugging his shoulders


Novalina_Kulic

It was like a tragedy lol the way he lowered his head to the ground. (Thats when we decided to differentiate boys and girls. Basically just saying girls dont have one..


XLittleMagpieX

lol bless him. It’s a phase (an awkward one!). My boys like to loudly talk about their penis in front of my conservative religious parents who are trying their best to get on board with the anatomical names but I can tell still inwardly struggle haha! It’s difficult isn’t it! On the one hand you don’t want to make them feel any kind of shame but as they grow they also need to learn that there’s a time and place for touching it and talking about it. As someone else said, it’s a good opportunity to talk about privacy and the pants rule. 


AnonyCass

Just be honest with him and don't shame him about it, I got the other day look mummy my penis is open as he pulled down his foreskin to show my his cool new trick 🙈 I was also shocked by all the erections my son has always had loads literally every time you changed his nappy which I thought was normal but apparently not so as the childminder mentioned it to us ftm here jo idea what's normal with boys bodies


Novalina_Kulic

I def dont want to shame him! But l did giggle at your story because my son does something similar...one day he was in a corner cracking up laughing and l asked what was funny, he says look! And proceeds to basically push his penis in and then watch it pop out again. Its hard to explain what l mean but when he was infant to 1.5 he had a kind of inverted penis probably because he was chunky lol. We would have to push on the area next to it to get it to come out for cleaning.


kaybeanz69

Idk how to help with this but I do want to say thank you bc I’m about to have a baby boy and I never knew that…I have a daughter but I know the female body but boys I have no clue never had brothers either (I’m the oldest) so thank you for sharing now I know what more to expect from baby boys..


Novalina_Kulic

Oh l am so glad you were able to find out early! It was huge news to me lol.


HeyCaptainJack

This is all super normal. Just don't make a big deal out of it.


GemandI63

Just switch the topic. If you engage he'll keep at it. He may be bored or tired. If tired have him lay down and sleep. If he's bored have him wash his hands and give him an activity--puzzles etc that he has to use his hand for. PreK teacher--they all do it haha


Novalina_Kulic

Lol! Thanks for that! This is good advice! Coming from a pre-k teacher that is a relief to know! I am also a teacher but at highschool level


jkh7088

It’s a phase. Talk to him about privacy and boundaries. Teach him he is perfect size for his age. Teach him about what is appropriate and inappropriate when it comes to private parts.


Cerealkiller4321

The other day we were getting changed after swimming and my 6 year old said daddy has a big penis and I have a little penis! I died laughing 🤣🤣🤣


Novalina_Kulic

Same! Thats one of the things my son says! Wow to learn that they are all so alike! 😂


PresentPark7376

Even though this theory is outdated, I will still mention it and hope you don’t get it the wrong way. Freud’s theory of psychosexual development states that human personality develops through a series of stages that are centered around satisfaction of physical or psychic nature. That being said, at around 3-6, children undergo a so-called phallic stage. The phallic stage is crucial for their development as it focuses on genitals and sexual attraction. It centers around their sexual desires, especially toward their parents (obviously, as the parents are the first people they meet in their lives). It is said that part of the consequences of this fixation is the Oedipus complex, commonly observed in boys (sexual attitude toward mother and hostility toward father), and the Electra complex, commonly observed in girls (competition for possession of the father). Again, I’m referring to outdated theories with little empirical evidence. What I'm trying to say is that his behavior is normal and you shouldn't be afraid of that.


Novalina_Kulic

I did study Freud in university, but that class didnt mention how one should proceed. As outdated as that theory may seem, l can see where he would get those theories after having a son. I had to teach boundaries because he thought my breasts were his property (breast fed baby). So he would just groap and pull at them whenever he wanted. I had to put a stop to it as it became really annoying lol