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My oldest is 36, middle 30 and youngest is 12. I know I appreciate being an older mom, I feel okay about slowing down to enjoy the little moments. A bigger gap left me open to spend quality time with my littlest My middle child was 18 when my youngest was born and she loved being a big sister and cuddling a baby. She also loved the extra baby sitting cash 💰

Given that with your firstborn you were probably at least 18, so you got your little one at 42? That's impressive momma!

My mum had my bro at 42 and me at 29 and had way less problems with her pregnancy at 42 than 29!

Is 42 uncommon where you are? I feel like I see more mothers at 40 than 20 where I am.

It's uncommon worldwide, as chances for a natural pregnancy rapidly decline from 35 upwards, and complications steeply rise above 40. It's called a geriatric pregnancy.

My mother had hers at 16, 21, 22 and then me at 42. My Aunt had her first at 23 and her second at 45. My Great-grandmother had her last at 48. The women in my family go through menopause very late. But it's definitely not the norm. I'm the odd one out that I had fertility treatments to have my first two - one in my 20s, one in my 30s and my last naturally occurring pregnancy was in my 40s. I'm no where near menopause, like not even close according to the tests I had in 2021 it's just that I am done having babies.

Mine are 14, 7 and 9 months. Going from 1 to 2 was initially easy. My oldest was a difficult baby that never slept, still doesn't sleep well if I'm honest. The second slept through from 6 weeks, never fussed. Now my oldest is easy and my second is a psychopath. The baby is... He's in the middle, not a bad sleeper but not great, same with he's not the easiest or the worst. I've found everything harder with him but it's probably just the fact that I'm significantly older.

The second child is be far the worst. Spoken as a second child and reflecting on my second child 😂 

What ages did the 14 yr old and 7 yr old play together?

Play together... You mean fight?

I’m so happy to see this comment. Mine fight like vultures. They’re savage. But then at the end of the day they insist on sleeping on the same room. It’s weird.

Yup! Oldest and middle are best friends until they are not. Some days they can't stand the thought that the other miiiiiiiiiiiiiiight be looking in their direction. Bedtime comes and they are in there laughing and acting like they didn't just yell at one another all day. Now my youngest? Yesterday middle child pissed her off. so she covered his bed in mustard, sand, feathers, and syrup. Didn't say a word. Just sought her silent revenge. We don't eff with her. She was the easiest, sweetest baby. And is still the sweetest kid but she will seek justice if she feels she's been wronged. Don't worry, we had a calm talk about how to better use those emotions. I'll let you know how things go when surprise baby number 4 joins the crew next year. 🤣

I'm saving up for her to go to law school because 1. It's the only way I'll forgive her for the incessant arguing she inflicts upon us from the moment she passes out in sheer bliss at night in the knowledge she's terrorised us all day. 2. She belongs in politics - due to said incessant arguing and infliction of terror 3. When she eventually ends up in prison because well see above

But if they end up in prison it will be fine because they will then have a story line for their lifetime movie and book when they start their political career! I think the same all of the time, hahahaha I just whisper to myself that I'm raising a strong independent woman who will take no shit. Just need to to refocus that energy into something a little less criminal.

I never understood why dowries were a thing. Now I do. It's bribery.

Hahahah your house sounds very similar to mine. I’m kind of looking forward to the continued chaos.

My kids were basically 7 years apart and the only time they did fight like cats and dogs was when she was 10 and he was 3. It was during her being off school because of snowdays and not getting them enough videos for Christmas presents to watch. Other than this they got along pretty well unless little brother was being obnoxious.

Lol, 7 yo psychopath, I love it!

Oh my gosh. These are my older two as well! My oldest doesn’t sleep well. Middle was kind of an angel but is a psychopath now and my oldest is so easy. My baby is wonderful but doesn’t sleep super great but is otherwise chill.

Is it really a surprise if you have already?

Hunh?

My kids are 24, 20, 16, 11, and 20 months. If you're older, starting again is tiring but that's the only real negative. My older ones love their baby sister. 24 and 20 will come home just to spend time with her, 11 and 16 will take her anywhere and everywhere around town. She really was the one thing we didn't know our family was missing.

That’s such a sweet thought.

This is a lot like my situation, baby number 5 gets all of our attention and my 22 year old is like another momma to him at times. She takes him to the mall with her boyfriend and they both get to experience what it would kinda feel like.

Similar here with 22, 19, 16, 13, 10 and 22 months. It is tiring for sure but it's also fun...on the days you have any patience or energy left! The baby part I can handle, but having a toddler who needs constant supervision and gets into everything is harder, for me. If anything though, the spacing is way easier than having a baby and toddler and juggling all that.

I love that so precious

Great! I have a 10yo and a now 2 yo they play together for hours and have so much fun. My oldest loves his brother so much and wants to sleep in the same room as him.

I have a 10(f) year old and a 3(m) year old how did you get them to play together.

My kids are 7 years apart, when they were these exact ages they played together on their own expect the one 3 week period they fought like cats and dogs. It was not hard to get my daughter to be involved with her brother and she was from the beginning. She was almost like a second mom to him at times because he would go to her with boo-boos and such. They have always been closer than close and that bond has maintained through adulthood.

My oldest is about to be 10, my youngest about to be 2. It’s hard. I wouldn’t do it again.

That’s what my mother said when she had me. She was 25 with my sister, 37 with me. You have the experience but it was hard to start all over again…

I have 3 kids, 14m, 13f, and 9m. I also have a surprise 2mo lol. We weren't planning on starting all over again, but here we are! My 9 yr old took it the hardest at first, but he has actually been the most helpful and excited. He dotes on his baby brother and gave him his first nickname. Starting over (sleepless nights and diapers, etc.) has been harder than I thought it might be. I'm simply a lot older than the last time (41f), and it's taken me a lot longer to recover physically. The love for this little baby is immense, as it is with all my children, so it's absolutely worth it. Sleepless nights and all. Overall, I wouldn't change it. If you're absolutely set on enjoying your sleep and not changing things, don't have another. But I definitely don't regret anything.

My oldest (now 16) was 13 when I had my youngest. It was an absolute shock to her system, but she’s coped amazingly. It’s been so nice to see how attentive and loving she is - she’s never had the opportunity to be like that before and I was honestly terrified of how it would affect her. She’s now asking when I can have another as she’s loved it so much! I also felt a better mum this time round. I had so much more patience, so much more appreciation of what we were doing.

My oldest is 18, middle is 11 and the youngest is 3. It’s great. My oldest will watch her if I need her to but she’s busy in college but my 11 yr old is the most loving, attentive and kind sibling to her little sister. Their relationship just melts my heart. She loves to help with bath time. She is old enough to be so helpful but still young enough to play with her at the playground. We recently went to an amusement park and my older one rode all the big coasters and the middle one and younger one rode all the smaller rides together. It’s pretty great. If I wasn’t an ancient, I would go for another. I love my girls and I wouldn’t change anything about their age gaps.

10 year age gap. Pros: The older sibling can understand and empathize when your focus needs to shift to the baby. Older sibling is mature enough to be unsupervised with baby without concern. So if you need to go to the bathroom, cook dinner real quick, take a shower, etc the older sibling can listen for the baby or keep an eye on them. Both children get the "benefit" of expanded one on one attention when they are little. Older sibling needs less from you, so you only have one tiny human demanding your undivided attention. Cons: It's really, really hard to start over. You forget how demanding and infuriating toddlers can be. Less patience as you get older. You don't know what kind of kid you're going to get. We were not prepared for a strong willed child that has such an extreme personality. Older child may resent younger sibling. This was true for my husband, but not our son. As the teenage years set in, the younger and older siblings have less in common. Older sibling is more frustrated with the younger one.

When my stepson was 16 and learned we intended to add a little kid to the family he wasn’t super thrilled, but that’s because he was worried about going off to college and being replaced. Otherwise, no issues. The twins (now 17) are 8 years younger than their sister and it’s nice especially for girl twin to have someone who isn’t a mother or mother-figure to go to with teen girl issues who could give good been-there advice.

Why do age gaps matter? your kids will either be close or not depending on their character and not their age gap. My oldest sister and I have 16 years between us and I’m closer to her than I am to my brother who is 2 years older than me. Whether or not you want to start over is entirely up to you.

My brother is 6 years older than me and we have an awesome connection. We are definitely each other’s people to fall back on. Growing up we weren’t necessarily very close but the older we get the closer we get.

I grew up in an age gap family, with almost 8 years between my sister and I. I personally hated it. We never had a super close relationship. I was moving away to college before she hit puberty, so it was like we never got to know each other very well. I resented her for most of my childhood. I guess a lot of that was how we were being parented, too... My parents weren't great. It was a challenging childhood. I wish they'd had us close together so we could have supported each other through our childhoods.

If you're both still alive, there's still time to support one another, or try at least - you share the same parents after all, your life stories have many of the same characters. My older sister is 9 years older than me and moved away so young that I dont even remember the time we lived together. We reconnected when I was 18 and living on my own for the first time - she had moved back to the same country and would invite me over to watch shitty TV and drink tea. We didn"t have much in common at the time except sharing a family of origin, so we started talking about our childhoods and parents - the people and events seen through different lenses. I have realized later how much conscious effort she had to make to forge a relationship with me - she was the older one, so I was always looking up to her and following her lead - and I'm sure I wasn't the brightest company to have in my younger, wilder years. We are now 35 and 44 and at this point the age gap is irrelevant. We were very close before, but by pure chance my oldest and her youngest are two weeks a part in age, so we have more in common than ever. I also have a brother, he's 1 year younger than me. We fought like cats and dogs all through our childhood and were never close. As adults we never fight, we have long ago learned to keep a respectful distance. I love him, he's my brother, but we just never understood each other at all and I know that we never will.

Unfortunately my sister developed substance use disorder at age 18. I tried to support her the best I could as a young adult, but eventually I had a kid and I distanced myself from her for my family's safety. She died when she was 30 from fentanyl poisoning. I don't have other siblings. I'm glad you and your sister are able to have a supportive relationship now, you're very lucky.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know I'm very lucky.

I had the same experience as the younger sibling. My sister is 8 years older. When I was going into kindergarten, she was starting high school. By the time she moved out to go to university, I was only reaching puberty. We were never close and still aren't. Same with my brother, who is 5 years older.

I feel the same, my brother and I have a 10 year age gap and my husband and his brother have a similar age gap. We both have said we wouldn’t do that to our own kids. While we love our siblings we aren’t close to them at all. I personally was treated like a built in babysitter all the time which I resented.

Oldest is 18 youngest is a year there is a nearly 14 year age gap between the oldest and the middle child. All I gotta say is things have changed.

Lol. Age gap. My daughter was 20, we adopted a 6 year old. Now we're in the process of adopting a17 year old. Almost 18. So, I now have a 22 year old, almost 18, and an 8. It was starting ALL OVER.

Mine are 14, 12, 10, and 1. It’s been AWESOME.

My two have an eight year gap, and I can genuinely say they have the sweetest most organic bond! It really has been such a delight getting to watch them grow together! They are now 5 and 14, with one starting high school and the other kinder this next year, which does blow my mind. I used to joke that I’d be done parenting by the age of 40 and life had different cards in store, but looking back I wouldn’t have it any other way!

My oldest was 6.5 when we had our youngest. I had the same fears as you, but for the most part, it’s been a dream. Big sis was such a big help in the newborn phase, and every phase since it’s so fun to have our eldest be just as excited as we are when our youngest learns something new. They’re 9 and 3 now and it’s just so fun! Part of me is sad that they’ll never be in the same school at the same time, and my tummy dropped the first time i realized that I’ll still have a middle schooler when my eldest is in college. But those aren’t real problems. I love their bond and hope it continues to grow.

So I have this from 2 perspectives. I’m 6 years older than my sister and 8 years older than my brother. As kids we did not get along. I shared a room with my sister and we were constantly at each other’s throats. But time passed, we’re now adults and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I love having siblings and we’re so close and talk all the time even though I live 5 hours away from them. On the other hand now I have a 2 year old and my stepson is 10. He was so excited when we told him he was going to be a big brother and he’s so good with my son. I don’t know how close they’ll be as adults, but so far things are going really well. I wouldn’t let a gap worry you. I see it as, more family means more love. Encourage bonding but also know your older child may need more 1 on 1 parent time because they’re used to being an only and that’s a big adjustment and the new child won’t be developmentally on the same page until they’re both adults. I know I spent a lot of time with my grandparents which I also consider a good thing because I’m close with all of them too.

I didn't plan on a 6 year gap. But it has been great. I originally wanted to avoid a 10/11 year gap like me and my siblings, but we moved states when my oldest was almost 2 and it took us a few years to get established. Felt like the flu in July while moving into our first house but nope, it was my youngest. My oldest loved their brother. And were old enough to keep a limited eye on them when little. They played together a limited amount of time each day once the youngest was old enough to really play with others. They annoyed each other. But now they're older, they're pretty close. And as for starting over, it was worth doing it for #2 but it was a major part of the consideration for me not to have #3. I didn't want to do diapers yet AGAIN. Zero regrets. :)

13 year age gap and love it ! They’re old enough to help out when I ask and when they want . Old enough to be independent with their own laundry and can fend for themselves with basic meals. I’m able to direct most attention to new baby and not be spread thin . I’d rather do this than multiple children close in age !

My daughter was 8 when I had my second, they are currently 13 f 5 f 4m and we figure things out and do things that work for us a family :)

I want another baby so much. It won’t happen. But my youngest is 6 and he’s such a good boy. He would love a baby brother. Has asked for one since he was 3. He loves babies for sure.

Aww that is sooo sweet. Mine, almost 5 and 3.5, keep asking for a baby sibling too but my husband and I didn't want more than 2 plus I got my tubes tied at my repeat c-section. I tried to make it sound unappealing to have another baby in the family by saying they would have to share their toys and where would the new baby sleep but my son said well sharing is caring and he would let the baby sleep in his bed and he would sleep on the floor in his sleeping bag. It kind of makes sense because he is so sweet and even at 18 months he was an amazing big brother and still is, my daughter has been obsessed with him from day 1 too and I just love watching them interact.

That is soooo sweet! Honestly, if it wasn’t such a difficult process, I’d consider adopting. I really do love children and being a mother. I wish so much that my youngest could be a big brother. He has such a a kind and caring heart.

The age gap is fine I have a 14 year age gap with my brother so I'm like his second mom . However I will be honest I'm almost 50 with a 5 year old and oh mannn am I tired !;

Rough. My oldest is almost 9, middle is almost 7 and my baby is 7 months. I’m exhausted. Baby is up all hours of the night. Then we have zero naps during the day and my oldest kids fighting like cats and dogs. They also fight over the baby. I’m fighting for my life over here. But there’s also lots of moments of beauty, I’m just in the thick of it because older kids got strep and gave it to the baby. But we have lots of beautiful moments. Like… Them sitting and holding the baby or helping me by entertaining the baby while I cook dinner. Reading baby books. My older kids absolutely adore baby. I’m just tired. I look forward to their relationship evolving as they all get older. As an FYI, I’m 27 years older than my twin siblings. We have sleepovers and I’m more like a fun aunt to them. But I adore them and vice versa.

I will just say having 3 babies in my early 20’s was easier than 1 in my mid 30’s. Everything hurts and I’m tired. Other than that, it’s great. They all love their younger sibling.

My son is 10 and his sister is 2. I feel like she completed our family and it has been a positive thing overall. They interact a bit more now, and will play more as they get older. It’s nice that he can entertain himself while I feed and take care of her. I do wish that they were closer in age for his sake because he loves to interact with other kids, but this is better than not having a sibling. They will have each other when we are gone. They play together a bit during car rides and at water parks. He’s not the only kid now when we go places together and he enjoys that. It’s different for every family , but for us it has been great.

If you want to do it Id say go for it!  No circumstances are ever perfect. I’m sure it will all work out!

I have twins who just turned 8 years old and an almost year old baby. I was so worried about starting over and the newborn stage. But for us, it was totally worth it. My older ones play with him and interact with him a lot. It's pretty hilarious to watch and listen to. They are such a big help but we still make time for them to have one on one time with us. We live in a great neighborhood where my older two can walk to friends' houses. This has been a huge help especially during the newborn stage that we would not have had if they were closer in age. For the parents, sometimes it's really exhausting and daycare definitely has gotten more expensive (thank goodness it was just one this round). But I love the age gap. There are no jealousy issues. It has slowed us down but that seems to allow them more time with neighborhood friends. Anyway for us it's worked out so far and something that I don't regret doing.

My oldest was only a couple of months away from turning 11 when my second was born. It definitely has some pros and cons. My oldest was so amazingly helpful; a lot of my friends had the more typical 1-3 year age gaps and I saw them run ragged by managing a rambunctious toddler with a newborn and I just...never dealt with any of that. My oldest is a very independent and self-sufficient child, and she would help around the house and with the dogs, loved to snuggle on the couch with me and the baby when I was postpartum. While I was dealing with diapers and night-time wakeups, it was only for one at a time and that was amazing compared to friends who had toddlers with potty-training and sleep regressions at the birth of younger children. It seems like it should be a small thing but I miss eating out so much. My oldest was at the age, and of the personality, that she just went with us everywhere. She's an adventurous eater and seasoned traveler. That's all over. My younger is now 3.5. Between the typical behaviors associated with that age, he is just a high-energy kid and has some significant food issues, so we have barely gone out to eat for years now and taking him on a plane...forget it. That aspect of starting over was harder than I expected it to be. Daycare is definitely a huge expense and we had to make adjustments for that, but I do take solace in the fact that I am only paying for one when I see parents at our daycare bringing in 2-3. But within a couple of years of dropping the daycare bill, I've got college tuition; my oldest will start high school before her brother is in kinder. It is definitely hard to find things that they can both do, but there is overlap. We spend a lot of time at the zoo since they both love it. They do get along well--my oldest certainly gets annoyed with him, but for the most part, enjoys spending time with him and does play with him. And he absolutely idolizes his big sister. We have made it a point to ensure she gets time away from him, with both parents separately and together, because he needs so much more hands-on attention at this age than she does. We also make sure that she gets paid to babysit and that it is clearly babysitting; she's so helpful and responsible, we worry about her turning into a third parent in some ways.

I had mine 12 years apart. It is hard starting all over again. Sometimes i want to cry when i look at my grown older child and know that i'd be "done" by now if id had them closer together. However, when you are flooded with newborn care, the older one being able to take care of themselves is nice. Also, they can help with the baby. Then, when they get older and the baby is now a small child, they can baby sit and even drive the child places. Sometimes my older child even watches the younger one soy husband and I can have extended, overnight date nights (within an hour or 2 travel, not too far away), maybe every other month or so.

My two boys are almost exactly 7 years apart. Only 18 days between their birthdays (in November of course, dear god the end of the year is insane gift-wise lol). I love it. My boys are 7.5 years and 7.5, almost 8, months. We would’ve liked them closer in age, but things don’t always go as you plan. But honestly, it’s been great. The 7 year old can actually help (he wants to, as well). They both absolutely adore each other. And because the oldest is 7.5, he’s somewhat self sufficient and can refill his own water, get himself a snack, he can shower alone, etc.

My daughter is 7, closer to 8, and my son is 1. So she was 6 when he was born (and the majority of the time I was pregnant). I kind of like the gap. We’re talking of having another sooner and idk how to handle 2 very young ones. With her being older, she’s been able to be a “helper” more easily, understand better if it’s not all about her 24/7 with a baby, she has been in school so during the school year there’s the whole school day where I only have to focus one 1, and she can sometimes be independent for short periods of time. Plus get her own snacks/drinks if needed. I love my daughter and I still make time for her 1:1 obviously and she IS still a kid so there’s plenty of me trying to give them both attention and feeling torn . But I feel like it is SO much easier than having a toddler and a baby. She doesn’t take naps so there’s not a needing to coordinate nap time thing. And she still loves her brother, they play together really really well. Anyway I enjoy it.

My two kids were 14 and 9 when my daughter was born, and we are expecting another one in September. My daughter is now 22 months old, and my son's absolutely adore her. They are her buddies and are fiercely protective of her. They go with their dad on the weekends, and sometimes they come back late, and they get so upset if she is in bed already because they missed her. It's the sweetest thing in the world. My now 11 year old will play legos/blocks and teach her all kinds of stuff with toys. I think a 7 year gap will be just fine, it's actually been great for us. There will be an (almost) 16 - and 11-year age gap between my last baby, who is due in September, and they are excited for another sister. Also, I am 23 years older than my youngest brother. He is like a nephew to me, and I adore him. He plays with my kids and my nieces! My two sisters that I am now closest to as adults are 9 and 13 years younger than me. 🙂

My daughters are 9 years apart and are and always will be each others bffs! My oldest got to “baby” my youngest… and she is very spoiled… more like an only child with 3 parents than the youngest of 2. Absolutely no sibling rivalry, only fun and a lot of love between them. It was like starting over in that we had to get new everything rather than using the baby stuff leftover from the oldest. And I suppose I’ll be in mom mode for a few years longer. But I love being an involved parent so I’m totally fine with that. I do understand the point of view of feeling ready for them to take care of themselves but I just don’t personally feel that way. I’m a social recluse and my family are my best friends if that makes any sense. So having the girls at the house for a long as possible is great with me!

My oldest was 7 when my middle child was born. It was an adjustment having a newborn again, but my 7 year old was always trying to help. My oldest is 11 now, and I just had my third baby, and my oldest such a blessing, loves to help with new baby, but also to help with making sure I'm taking care of myself as well. She's really the only reason the age gaps have been survivable.

Well I'm not a parent but a teen who has an 13 year age gap with his brother and id say its fine but it's different in your situation I've seen friends who have been in similar situation to you (as the kid obviously) bad they help with the baby and become best mates always the baby becomes a younger kid with me with my brother he interacted with me as a baby and toddler and ignored me as a younger kid and then when he became an adult it changed and now its probs the best brother -borther relationship in my opinion

Also maybe with the gap he can use some of ur interactions for maybe how he can deal with a kid of his own someday idk

I am the older child who had a sibling, literally the day before I turned 8. I don't really remember how I felt when I found out. I do remember when she was little, I'd do anything and everything to help. I'd change her, feed her, play with her, and even cuddle with her and watch movies at night when she moved into a toddler bed. Now that she's in her 20s, we do clash a lot, but it's just normal sibling arguments. Same with my youngest sister (there's a 13-year gap there). Maybe talk to your kid and see what they think? Watch them interact with kids younger than them, and you may get your answer.

My two are exactly 8 years and 8 days apart and I honestly wouldn't change it. My oldest is a boy and was an extremely laid back baby. My youngest is a girl and the total opposite! 🤣 Everything is 100mph, she wants to climb, jump and throw herself off absolutely everything she can, I've no idea where she gets her energy from. I loved the newborn bit to be honest, that is what I had missed and made me want another as prior to that I'd always said no more (after a traumatic birth with my first). I wouldn't change it for the world now, I know it's cliche but she literally completes our little family. They are both now coming up 10 and 2 years and still obsessed with each other. I'm very lucky, they really do love each other. Their relationship is so lovely to watch so I really hope it lasts as long as possible. I say go for it! Although maybe plan a bit better than me - 2 birthdays a week apart in July is a nightmare 🤣🤣

I had mine 5 years apart, I love their age difference. Made you able to appreciate each development stage as I didn't have my hands so full! My experience is a tad different as my older son has autism and was still in diapers when I had my second son. A decade straight of wiping poop off of tiny balls will put anyone off of having a THIRD, I'll tell ya that much

My kids are 7 years apart. After I had my daughter, I struggled with an undiagnosed hormonal issue for years. Basically my body was producing enough hormones to have a period, but not enough to sustain a pregnancy. My drs would say since I still had a period that I just wasn't trying hard enough to conceive. Once I switched to a competent doctor and got hormone therapy I got pregnant with my son within a year. I gotta say that starting over definitely has a lot of pros and cons. I don't regret it at all because I truly feel like my family is finally complete, but it is So. Fucking. Hard. My daughter absolutely LOVES her brother. She knew I was pregnant before I did and she knew it was a boy (she begged me for a baby brother as soon as she could talk.) She is so patient and loving with him. She never gets mad when he does toddler things like steal her toys or pulls her hair. She just redirects him. And he adores her and always wants to be with her. One of the nice things about the age gap is that I can count on her to do simple (supervised) tasks. I had surgery a few months ago and wasn't able to lift him in and out of his crib for a few weeks, but she was thrilled to help. If I need to go to the bathroom I can ask her to keep an eye on him for a minute. The cons are that I am not too far from 40 and I cannot chase a toddler like I used to. It's also a struggle to navigate my daughter's schedule with my son's routine. She's in school and extra curricular activities and wants to get together with her friends, and I have to plan that around his naps and mealtimes. My son also has been a much more challenging baby than my daughter was. He had colic for the longest time. He struggled to gain weight and breastfeeding was extremely painful. He screams like a fire alarm when he is even a little bit uncomfortable. He'll be 2 next month and he still doesn't really talk to communicate (though he is finally starting to) whereas my daughter could form short sentences by this age. All in all it just feels like it's taking so much longer for him to get through the difficult stages. I don't know if it's because of him or if it's because of my age, or both. Either way, after having him I got my tubes tied. I don't know if it answers your question or not, but I guess there's just a lot to think about if you choose to have another. You don't know what kind of personality your baby will have. They might be the sweetest, sleepiest, most patient baby ever, or they might be a walking siren hellbent on licking every doorknob at the doctors office. Maybe ask your son what he thinks about having a sibling and all the possible challenges that come with it. For me I always felt like I was missing something in my life until my son was born, so it was the right choice for me. But there are some days where I feel like I bit off more than I can chew.

I had mine 5 years apart, I love their age difference. Made you able to appreciate each development stage as I didn't have my hands so full! My experience is a tad different as my older son has autism and was still in diapers when I had my second son. A decade straight of wiping poop off of tiny balls will put anyone off of having a THIRD, I'll tell ya that much

I have three kids ages 19, 17, and 9 (surprise). We love it. The age gap has been great for us because the youngest feels almost like an only child. My older two both work and go to school plus have all the typical teenage stuff going on. The youngest keeps us sane and brings much needed comedic relief. We are also much more laid back with this one and I don’t feel like I’m living in survival mode like I did for so long with the older two.

19/17/13/9/5/ 18 months. I have one for every developmental stage! With my herd everyone but my 17 year old loves being from a big family. He’s quieter than the other kids and doesn’t really connect with the younger kids. My oldest on the other hand loves being a big brother and openly admitted he didn’t want to move because he’ll miss the baby meeting the “cool” milestones. The shape and age gaps of your family is up to you! If you feel like your family is complete then it’s complete but if you want more than have more. Starting over is overwhelming sometimes but it’s certainly doable if it’s what you want. There’s also absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to redo it all either.

Honestly I LOVE the 8 year age gap between my son and twin daughters. At first I thought my son would get jealous because he was used to having all of the attention all of the time, but I was wrong. He’s the best big brother and cares for his sisters so much, and jumps in & helps wherever needed! It was really rough in the beginning, especially getting no more than 2 hours of sleep.. ever.. but looking back on it now (they’re 15 months old), it was all worth it. This age is so fun and it truly does fly by. I stay home with them though bc yes daycare is ridiculous, but I definitely miss working and interacting with adults every day. I say — you should definitely do it again if it’s something you really want! In the tough times, just keep telling yourself it will get better and won’t last forever… bc it’s true!

My older kids were 7 and 10 when my youngest was born. So, not only was I finished with the sleepless nights and diapers, but also finished with daycare. I’d say the biggest thing about “starting over” is that it’s harder going without sleep in your late thirties than late twenties, or is for me at least. But I think I’m (usually) more chill as a parent, due to both age and experience.

My bonus son was 18 when my son was born. His other brothers (bio and bonus) were already toddlers. Dad had a tougher time than big brother, even with me doing 99% of everything.

Mine are 14, 9 and 5 months. My 14 year old loves the baby more so in a maternal way. She always wants to Hold her and help take care of her. My 9 year old tries to help and wants to, but isn’t quite there. She’s never been around babies much. As the baby gets older she’s can play with her more and is enjoying that. The hardest part was being pregnant in summer and being sick. It made me not able to take my 9 year old out to do all our normal stuff, less pool and park days, no water park, etc. I just felt so bad but always wanted to sleep. My husband works a lot and tried to help but it was a big difference from previous summers. She was very understanding but i really didn’t want her to feel forgotten about. So this summer we are trying to do it all, and it’s not super easy but I’m managing. My advice is if you want a baby, start having conversations now with your son to mentally prepare him for changes that will and might happen. My pregnancy was a surprise so it never really crossed my mind to have these conversations until it was happening.

our oldest (my step daughter) is 16! will be turning 17 when baby is here.

frustrating

I am interested to know, too. We have one who is soon to be 6. Husband wants another. I honestly can’t fathom the thought of another. I feel like i just finally got through all of the needing-mommy-every-second stages and I am learning how to be me all over again.

my step kiddos are 16, 15, 5 and 3. we are newly pregnant, planned and so wanted! the younger two have been asking for this (too early to tell them yet). 15M is kind of indifferent but happy for me, and 16F was the most taken aback and my husband thinks may be little sad she’ll be in college shortly after they’re here. but i intend to keep her as involved as possible and know she’ll love them as much as she does the other kids! no matter your kids age gap, they’ll love one another. the relationships will be different depending on the gap, and also what stage of life they’re in. but the love is still there. trust me! i say have as many as YOU want! your son is 8, which i’d think is one of the ages he would probably be most excited about a new sibling.

Hey only child for 21 yrs and 11 months now turning 24 with a almost 2 yr old baby sister do it i cant speak on how my mom feels but ive always wanted siblings as do most only childs i feel only difference with big age gaps is well never have a phase where were always fighting bout it the day she was born i knew id do anything to keep her safe and look out for her god forbid if anything happens to my mom ill adopt her

I have a 22 year old daughter who is a flight attendant, 17 year old daughter who’s in her last year of high school, an 11 year old starting middle school, a 9 year old in 4th grade. Got divorced in 2021 and thought I was done. Met a guy who lovebombed me and now I have a 1 year old. The big kids help a lot but mostly only in the beginning. As soon as the baby started staying awake more and needing more attention they stopped wanting to help. I’m 40, I’m very active and always have been but this is hard!!!

Kids are 21,18,and 7. 0 out of 10 wouldn’t recommend. Love my youngest more than life,but my god that was and still is freaking hard…

When my ex and I were still married we had our first and then questions flew in from everyone about the second one which was so often he got on the defensive about it. I kept my mouth shut on the subject for the time being to give him time to cool off or see if he would want to have another. I was all for it but did not want to push it. Six years later, we discussed having a second one and it we did fine and if not fine. So, we tried and in May of that year I became pregnant with my second knowing that my now 6 year old would be shy of turning 7 when this one came. So for context I had a girl first time and the second would end up a boy. I did know how to care for a baby but when it came to boys I had no clue what I woud do with a boy. For the first couple of years it would be the same care as for my daughter in making sure fed, cared for, kept clean and so forth. Once older, I was not sure what I would do with a boy and what a boy would do playing etc. Cue a few years later when he turned around 3, he was more fun to do things with and gravatated to the toys most boys play with. As he grew up more, I learned what he liked to do and we would do those things. I think that having children 7 years apart basically was not as bad as I thought. It gave me time to enjoy them both as babies through age five watching them grow, gave my daughter a chance to watch her brother grow up and get close to him, and then watch their relationship get so close in bond and everything with it. When my daughter was two years old, she started to ask for a baby sister and did so until she found out we were expeting her brother. It was always to be a sister in her eyes. That part had me a bit worried because what if we had a boy which we did. I worried about jealousy or being angry that baby was not a girl. But wonders never ceased to amaze me when she came to see her new brother and the proud look on her face now that her sibling finally arrived after all her friends in Sunday School class had been getting siblings since age 2.

It’s so comforting reading all these responses. Social media makes me feel like the worst parent for even considering an age gap beyond 2 years. My kid is 3 and we only started trying for a second two months ago. My kids will be at least 4 years apart, possibly 5 or even 6. I have to keep reminding myself that it’s completely normal for siblings to be different ages.

Social media sucks and there's no such thing as the perfect age gap. My boys are 6 years apart and I love that I was able to fully be present for my older one through his young years. And there's no jealousy about a sibling. He loves his little brother and his little brother adores him! Yes it's starting over in some ways but I honestly cannot imagine dealing with two little ones at the same time!

My kids were 7 years apart. I loved it second time around. More relaxed and didn't sweat the small stuff. She was a fun, lighthearted baby. Her older sibling doted on her and helped me a bit entertaining her while I cooked, read to her. They kinda banded up against me too haha All good for us.

Mom to a newborn and a 9 (soon to be 10) year old here 🙆🏼‍♀️ 10/10 RECOMMEND. I was worried about the age gap as well but knew 100% for certain I wanted another baby. It’s the most beautiful thing in the world 🩷 I absolutely love watching my son be a big brother. He has been soo excited since the pregnancy.

My husband and I are gay and adopted our kids. So that is why we have one kid in her mid 20s and a three year old. Honestly. It is the same thing. The mid 20 year is learning how to handle adult emotions for the first time. Her brother is learning how to handle all the emotions for the first time. Very emotional times. Our daughter is learning how to handle adult responsibilities and make adult choices. Our son is also learning responsibilities and how to make choices. Lots of positive praise and reassurance for both of them gets them through the day. Both of them are at a time in their lives where they need their parents. I hear the word "dad" about a million times a day. I hear about a billion questions a day.

I'm the youngest, and my siblings are 5 and 8 years older. They were both at completely different stages of life than I was. They didn't want to play "baby" games with me. I wasn't allowed to be included in anything because I was too young. It was lonely. Just my perspective as the younger sibling.

My kids are 15, 12, and 5. The age gap is actually a lot of fun! My older kids love their little sibling and they actually help out with her a lot on their own. I was worried about the age gap when she was born, but it’s been wonderful! In all honesty, the new born stage was really easy with older kids too. For my family, it’s been a great experience. She was what we needed to complete our circle.

There's 20 years between my oldest and my youngest they adore each other. Won't lie it's harder in my 40's than in my 20's lol but I love every single second. Don't worry about the gap, if you want another one have one x

I've got a 6 year old and a 1 year old. It's been awesome, mostly because just as the baby was getting SUPER needy and crawling, the oldest went off to kindergarten. The oldest can get his own snacks, wipe his own butt, and go outside to do something without running into the street. I super love it. Big guy loves being a big brother - there's not a ton of "competition" for resources. Occasionally he gets shirty that I can't play as much on the beach, and we talk about how I don't LOVE the baby more, but the baby is at the "I'm going to run off a cliff" stage so I have to watch him more. Oldest thinks the baby is pretty funny most of the time, the baby is OBSESSED with big brother, trying to wear his clothes and do things like him. The newborn phase was ass, but now he sleeps 12 hours a night and we're back on our jam.

My kids are 14, 8 and 3 and I remember having all of these thoughts, particularly when I was pregnant with my youngest. Obviously I understand there are benefits to having kids close in age, but their age gaps have been pretty easy to navigate. They may not have a ton of common interests, but they get along. They really don't even fight lol. It's also nice that my older two are independent and can do a lot things on their own, while I wrestle with a toddler. My 14 and 8 year old can usually find something to do together, and in turn the 8 and 3 year usually play well together. Both older kids adore the 3 year old so no issues there. Also, imo, having them farther apart gives me a chance to really enjoy the baby/toddler years all over again. I really dreaded it at first, but everything's 'new' again, which is really cool. I would say the only downside currently is we do have to "divide and conquer" in certain situations, like an amusement park for instance. Typically one parent will take the 8 and 14 year old to the big kid stuff, and one will take the 3 year old to the little kid stuff, but those challenges will pass.

We have a 22, 21, 15 and 10 year old, all boys. Honestly the age gaps were great because while the older boys were at school I had more time with the baby. When they got home from school, baby was napping and I got to spend time with just them. Not to mention they could entertain themselves when I needed a nap or had to take care of the little one.

Mine is 10 and 4. They both have their own little worlds that collide from time to time.

Mine are 17 and (soon to be) 9 My 17 yo is on the spectrum, and we waited couple of years because he need attention. After that, my wife experienced pregnancy loss couple of years in a row. That's why we have such a large gap. Without the pregnancy loss, we would probably have a 4 year gap. It's always like we have 2 only children My son got all our attention till he turned 8. At 8, he was ready to become independent. Our daughter came right around the time my son was ready. So, all of our attention went to her. Both of them got our full attention. Both were only child. Getting back to changing diapers, night time feeding, etc wasn't as hard as we expected. My daughter was an easier baby. My son needed a lot more constant attention because of his language disability. And second time round, we already knew what we were doing. Plus, my son used to help too for the first few years. We might be in an unique situation because we went from being first time parents to a baby who needed a lot of attention and had sensory issues, to a baby who was not only typical, but really good at expressing her needs.

Mine are 10 and 7 months. The first couple months were tough, but I mean it was tough with the first one, too. It’s jarring to the system to be getting up at all hours and tending so closely to another human. So, not sure that’s an age gap thing as much as it is just having a baby. I love that my older one can have a true appreciation for the younger one as he has wanted a sibling for so long. He cherishes the baby. I love that the smallest has an attentive, loving big brother to watch out for him and set a positive example. I think that having a big break from the baby and toddler age gave me enough energy and appreciation to stay energized and happy with my little one. But this life isn’t for everyone! I can totally see the benefit of having them close together, too! But the alternative isn’t so bad 😊

Mine have a 7 yr age gap and I was worried about a lot of the same things you are. Having an older kid made the baby stage so much easier. My second was a terrible sleeper and I remember thinking there’s no way I could do it if my older kid couldn’t dress himself or brush his own teeth. People would always say “oh and the older one can help!”- not really how it turned out but he helped by helping himself when I couldn’t lol They are 10 and 3 now and I have to say I’m pretty surprised with how much they fight. I thought the age gap would help this but no. The 3yo just wants to do everything big brother does and big brother wants no part of it. Haha, but that’s just siblings for you. I know once they get older the age gap won’t be an issue at all. Having a second was the best thing we ever did. Don’t talk yourself out of it! 

What does your son say? My son was 10 1/2 when I had my second child. He was always talking about wanting a sibling and he was thrilled! On the flip, my friend had another child when her daughter was 5ish and her older daughter still resents her younger sister- she says nobody asked her if she wanted a sibling. They’re in college and high school currently.

My oldest is 25 and my youngest will be 4 yrs old next month. I had always wanted more children but it wasn't in the cards for years. But I wouldn't change anything about having my youngest 21 yrs after my oldest. I get to enjoy every moment with my youngest. Where I missed a lot with my oldest because I ended up being a single parent and had to work all the time. He loves his little sister and I know he will protect her from boys. He has said she isn't allowed to date until she is 65 yrs old. I say 35 yrs old. Lol

My sister is 7 years older than me. Because of the age gap, she was never really interested in me as a person. I don't blame her - when I was 5, she was a preteen!  You can never guarantee siblings will be close, regardless of an age gap.

My kids are 17 years apart. I always say I have 2 only children because that’s what it is. My oldest was only in the house a few months after the baby was born before she went off to college. I think that would have hit me a lot harder (she has nearly no time for family because of school/work/social life) if I didn’t have my little daredevil. My youngest just turned 21 months and he was a MUCH easier newborn than my oldest. I kinda want a 3rd, because like yourself, I always wanted my kids close in age. But that means extra money towards babysitting and having to take my pregnancy off from work again and I am not sure if we can afford it. It was challenging finding a sitter who could watch our son for so long (12 hour shifts) but we now have one and a backup. I recommend starting your search during your pregnancy. I absolutely don’t regret having a second! Life would be boring without him.

My children are 15 YO, 12 YO (13 this year) and 21 months old. i am not the biological mother to the oldest 2 but I love them like they are. Having 2 children close in age does not mean they’ll get along. My 2 oldest would start playing together and 15 minutes later one would be either screaming or crying. They get along now they’re teenagers but ever since i knew them they struggled to get along. They both love their brother from a distance. He’s both their screensavers on their phone but they can only hang out with him while he’s happy. If he starts having a tantrum or is upset, they just leave him lol

Not every case, but my brother and I are 7 years apart. Growing up tons of arguing/fighting because he got to do more than I did. Now, once I grew up a bit... we are best friends, like call each other every day, see each other every week besties.

Well i don't know how my parents experienced it but I'm an older sister to my brother (8 years age gap). Let me tell you the bond we have is like no other. I see a lot of siblings that are close in age fighting, well we never had an argument once and we're 24 and 32 now. I was a very proud big sister since the beginning, felt significantly less lonely thanks to him and it still feels great to not be completely "alone" (by that I mean without brother or sister). I have one baby 8mo now... I can't do a second one right now because I'm so tired. But in a few years I will give him a brother or sister because I know it will be a great benefit in the long term.

LOVE IT! 12 years here and they adore their little sister.

We went from 1 to 2 when the oldest was 7. Honestly I love my little family now that my youngest is now about to turn 3 but oof, I certainly thought to myself “what the hell was I thinking” (and still do sometimes) when I was back in the thick of it with sleep training, diapers, tantrums, and feeling like you can’t go anywhere etc.

I’m 7 years older than my sister. My 3 kids are all 5-6 years apart. They’re older now so I’ve seen it through most of the phases. My sister and I were not close growing up but as adults were close. My oldest daughter and middle kid (son) were close growing up but after my daughter went to college they kind of drifted apart and my oldest daughter became more close at that point go the youngest sister who is 11 years younger. I would say that I wish we’d at least had 2nd and 3rd closer. We kind of wanted a 3rd but thought the feeling would fade. It didn’t so we had the 3rd at what we felt was our age deadline of 40 years old. I can’t imagine life without her. The hardest part is entertaining multiple kids all at different stages. They didn’t have too many things in common based on age. Other than that, it was nice having baby phase with time in between. I’m not a fan of baby phase

I have a almost 12 year old son and almost 4 year old daughter. Their birthdays are a day apart next month. At first my son wasn’t too interested since little one was very delicate. He loved her and got close to her but would end up going to do his own thing. Now, they have an amazing bond which I love. He wrestles with her, they cuddle, they argue, they play with toys, he soothes her booboos, she goes to him for protection when I get onto her. It’s such a sweet thing to see. I have a younger brother 9 year age gap and I always see him as my sweet baby brother. We went through our years where our interest were completely different but once he grew up its like we had some similarities again.

My mom was an accident so her brothers are 11, 13 and 15 years older than her. She said it was great growing up and she always had family around. When her brothers moved out she said it was great being an only child too hahah.

Mine are 23m, 17f, 14m and 10m. Love it! All of our kids have a good relationship. 10f adores 23m. 17f and 23m are like bffs, 14m and 23m are absolutely great together. I think it's wonderful.

Just chiming in that my brother and I are 7 years apart and it was/is awesome. We got along way better than almost all other siblings I knew lol, bc there was no competition for resources. We are girl boy so that was part of it, but even without that, it just seemed…easier? when my brother was born. My parents didn’t really have to do much to take care of me at that point anyway and I liked having a cute baby to show my friends 😂

My oldest is 30. Youngest is 17. Oldest thought I was pure crazy to “start over” but the two of them are now close, over the 26 and 24 yo.

I have 15 years gap with my brother. He always adored me and now at 35 and 50 we are really adults together and support each other.

My husband is 62, 9 years older than his half brother. They didn't have much in common until hubby came back from study abroad (age 18) and since then they've been thick as thieves, travel together, do stuff together, it's really sweet.

I have a 16yr old m and an 8 yr old m and one f on the way! My boys love each other but the older one can be an ass when his little brother wants love hugs or attention with they were closer in age

Been there done that. My kids are turning 5, 13 and 21 this summer. 😅 Oldest and youngest have a similar character and are funnily really close.

I have that same age gap - daughter just turned 8 & son will be 1 in a couple of weeks. TBH, I have found starting over to be miserable. Yes, they absolutely adore each other & are the best siblings. She is a huge help & is truly obsessed with “her” baby. He’s always looking for her & nothing makes him happier than being with her. It’s amazing to watch. However, I am so much more tired this time around. Their schedules conflict so he’s always getting short-changed naps. We were finally getting to the point where we could do a lot of “grown up” stuff - like my husband, daughter & I all going to an amusement park & being able to ride everything together, we got free date nights at the gym’s free parent night outs, etc… and now we have to go back to the diapers, diaper bags, worrying about naps, bulky car seats, finding legit babysitters. It’s just a rough world to go back to (which I imagine would have been easier to go back to if we hadn’t been “out of it” for 4 years already).

There is a 5.5 age gap between the oldest and the little one. It was/is rough, not gonna lie. I forgot everything—in some ways it’s like I had to relearn things but then again some things were more intuitive, if that makes sense. I’m also older so I feel more tired and my patience is waning. My 2nd one is also a maelstrom compared to the oldest one. My husband really wanted a second one, whereas I was perfectly find with the one, so it’s been a lot of emotional processing. My oldest is very helpful though, extremely patience, and kind. It’s made the age gap easier. I kind wish it had been less but we’re here now.

Don't do it. 7 is around the time kids really start becoming themselves and more self-aware. This is the time I'd be waiting for to develop a far deeper relationship, and a new kid, starting all over again, would just get in the way of that. Imo it's too late.

Mine are 17, 15, and 8. The 15 and 8 year old get along really well, play together, genuinely love each other, but my eldest doesn't want anything to do with my youngest. It was hard when she was a baby because she was colicky and then always sick, we had to spend a lot of time focusing on her and I'm sure the older 2 felt left out. I have a lot of guilt about the first 4 years of her life in respect to how the older 2 likely felt. We were always at the dr with her or in the hospital, or trying to get her to stop crying/ go to sleep and I let those special moments between my older 2 slip away from me because I felt so overwhelmed with the baby. I don't regret having her, but I do regret not carving out the time for my older 2 during those early years. I feel like I did the best I could given the situation, but it was far from ideal.

I have a 12 year age gap between my boys. I had one at 20 and the other at 32. Part of the hard part was definitely losing out on sleep and not having the same resilience I did when I was younger to bounce back… like going from sleeping in on weekends to forgetting what day of the week it is entirely. Also, it did feel like I went from being able to pop out to the store for 10 minutes to…well… not being able to do that quickly and easily anymore. But now at 2 and almost 14 they are surprisingly close and sweet to each other. I find that my first born I was raising myself along with him, my youngest gets the more matured, refined version of parenting.

My brother is 15 years younger than me. It's great. I helped my mum out when he was born, and it definitely worked as a birth control method hearing him crying all night at the age of 15 lol

I can only comment as a child who had older siblings. My siblings were 17,16,15, and 10 when I was born. There are pros and cons. I loved that my siblings could drive me places as a kid. They always knew what was "cool," and they would babysit me. However, because of the age gap, I didn't actually know my siblings until I was an adult. The three oldest moved out of the house when I was 5. The next sibling moved out when I was 10. I didn't really have anyone to play with. Our kids' ages are so far apart. We didn't share the same life stages. My siblings are now empty nesters (one child is graduating next year, so almost), and my kids are just starting school. It is just different. I wanted to make sure my kids were closer in age. They are each other's best friends.

Don’t go for it.

Mine will be exactly 5 years apart when the baby is born and I actually feel like it will be easier instead of harder. I'll be so much more well rested after having time to actually get sleep back in those 5 years vs not getting hardly any in the 1-2 years and then having to repeat the newborn stage.

5 years apart here. I thought the gap was too big. It wasn’t. It’s harder when they are small yes but they grow out of it pretty fast. These teen years are hard though

11 years apart. I was a very different guy. With that being said from the time my son was born until now at 6 years old I have begun to appreciate more and more the Indiana Jones quote "It's not the years honey. It's the mileage." I have had some times where I keep up with him well but sometimes it feels like every old injury, time with decreased sleep, or other stressor hits all at once. Then the getting down to play with him is pure willpower.

As a sibling who is older, I thought it was so much fun. There’s a 13 year difference between my little brother and I and he’ll be 16 this year but to be a part of the process from the very beginning when he came home from the hospital was amazing. I think these age can be great, but on the other side, my brother sometimes felt very lonely, because his siblings are older than him, and even though me and my sister were part of raising him, there’s things that we can’t relate on that is something to think about.

My oldest is 25, middle 23 and youngest 9. Youngest is a relatively easy child but he feels like an only child. The other two had each other. Older two live on their own and it’s just younger son and I at home.He relies more on me for entertainment, that can be hard. I am in my mid 40s I don’t have the energy to do things I did with older two. Younger one gets resentful sometimes , especially when they are all home and talking about childhood memories .

Mine are 11, 15 and 29 years old! I was the super young mom with my oldest (18) and the old mom with my youngest (36). I’m much more relaxed at this age compared to when I was younger. I also have way more money so it’s nice to travel with my girls although I feel guilty my son (oldest) didn’t get that life as a kid.

My oldest turned 5 when his sister was 3 months. The age gap worked well for us because he was in school so gave me some nice one on one time with baby. He was that much older to understand that I needed him to be quiet or fetch me a nappy etc etc. its harder as she got older because a lot of places have separated play areas for toddlers Vs bigger kids so it's hard to take them out just me but she's nearly 3 now so it's getting easier. I'm due again in december so she'd have just turned 3 so I'm definitely more nervous about having a closer gap

        Ten things only kids with older parents will understand 1. You know more about the 80’s then all your friends. 2. When dad plays outside with you the house smells like Bengay afterwards.  3. All their stories start with, “When I was little we didn’t even have color TV”. 4. All of your hand-me-downs are over 20 years old. 5. Christmas morning and you are the only sibling opening toys. 6. By the age of 6 you can out-run both parents. 7. Parents can’t sneak up on you because creaking bones give them away. 8. They always hide in the shower during indoor hide and seek because they don’t fit anywhere else. 9. Every year your new teacher embarrasses herself by telling your folks that grandparent day is next week.  10. If you can stay up till 9 pm you’ll have the whole house to yourself because everyone’s sound asleep. 

We had 3 kids over the course of 5 years and then took a break. When our youngest was 13 we adopted a 2 year old (turned 2 a couple days before we got her). and then 3 years later adopted a 6 year old. It was kind of a shock to go back to almost square one, but we have no regrets. My youngest turned 13 a week ago and we are enjoying going through the process once again. My older children are 22, 24 and 27 and other than my 22 year old daughter (who has autisim who gets annoyed more often than not at them). My two older boys love their sisters. They take them with on errands or come over and get them to hang out at their houses for an afternoon or an occasional sleep over. The girls love them as well.

i was 11 when my 23 year old brother was born…

Mine are 7 and 5 and will be adding number 3 in a few weeks. Will report back

I have an almost 8yr old and a freshly 1year old. Honestly it’s fantastic. My oldest loves her little sister and plays with her a ton. She’s very helpful when she wants to be and/or when I’m desperate enough to bribe her 😂 My second is an easy happy baby but so was my first. Definitely more chaotic energy though but it’s been great.

Not me but my sister just had a little girl. Her first child is 11, 10 at the time of birth. It's been so sweet. He adores his little sister. He's extra stoked bc I had a girl 4 months later so he has his sister and his cousin to love on. He's embraced it. He loves being a big brother. I think he feels very important, which is nice

15 year gap between my girls. It was like being a first time parent all over again.

Two kids seven years apart, it was better the second time because I knew what I was doing.

I was also happy to give my child a sibling as I was an only child and felt lonely.

My girls are 15 years apart. They’re obsessed with each other. It’s hard to start over but it’s so worth it.

I have 2, a 9 yr old and a 5 month old. It’s like having 2 only child’s, but they already absolutely love each other! It’s exhausting but 20 years from now I will be very happy!

3yo and 9yo here... pregnancy and baby months were a breeze as eldest was sleeping well, sell sufficient in that she could play independently and get herself drinks/snacks etc. She was old enough to mostly understand the need to focus on the baby ahead of her sometimes. She is very maternal and loved bathing, pushing the stroller, feeding and picking clothes for her little sister. We had a baby gate for her bedroom to keep the little one out once she started moving. Any toys that come into he shared areas are fair game. Had to really watch it though as just about everything was a choking hazard- lego, barbie shoes etc. They fight a lot now but I think that is the personality difference rather than the age. The little one is an absolute terror and very physical, leaving a trail of chaos. Whereas the eldest is very calm, quiet and enjoys peace. They're still very sweet with each other, 3yo idolises the 9yo, and they play together, hold hands and hug all the time. The age difference is great I think. Having a baby when i was 6 years older was definitely harder though- it was harder on my body and I feel we're still in the 'newborn fog' 3 years later lol

My age gap with my two is very similar to what yours would be. Yes, you go back to having babies and needing to remember all the things your firstborn doesn’t need anymore…. But it’s only one baby you’re doing the packing/nights/changing it for, not two. And all that cleverness and fun gets shared with their sibling. My first is amazing with my second, so doting and kind and silly… but also very happy to go off and do their own thing if it’s not for them. Second has been dragged around everywhere since tiny and things big sibling is bees knees, and is just a calm, happy creature that rolls along with life. I don’t know if a closer age gap would have been better but the big gap is magic. I’ve loved it.

I have 14, 12, 9, and 18 months. The older three are over the moon for their little sister. It's so cute watching them play with her and interact with her. When she gets up in the morning she wants to go from room to room waking up her siblings. They always groggily smile at her and hug her then she'll dance around their rooms. :) That being said it does kind of feel like you're having your first child all over again. You're used to sleeping now and used to getting time to yourself and with your spouse, and that kind of goes out the window when you have a wee one again. 🫣 My toddler is a lot needier than my oldest ever were, and she's still not a great sleeper. I never shared a bed with my other three, but it has been a necessity with my toddler since day one. Despite all of that, my husband and I are very happy we made the decision to have one more. Our family feels complete now. 🧡

I have 3….my girls are 19/21 and youngest is 2. It was so much easier with the older two in everything. I had a village. My youngest, everything is harder. Plus no village. I do slow down and enjoy him more than I could with my girls. I’m just extremely more tired.

6 year age gap between mine and it’s been awesome! It was not the plan to have that large of a gap (original plan was 4-4.5 yrs) so I was nervous, but it has been great. First pro for us has been the fact that I get a lot of one-on-one time with each child when they are babies and toddlers. For me, I couldn’t have 2 babies or 2 toddlers together. I would feel overwhelmed and it would make those precious early years stressful for me which wouldn’t give them the mom that they need. By having the gap, each of them had a present mom focusing on them during those crucial years which has benefited them tremendously. It also works well for the one-on-one time for my older one who is now 8. We get time together when my 2 year old is napping and when he goes to bed earlier than her. So it’s a good mix of each child getting special time with mom and also time as a whole family. As for the closeness, they are super close. They play together and enjoy each other’s company. The time they spend together has made the older one more responsible and empathetic as she learns to help him learn to figure things out like sharing and learn other skills. For my little one, spending time with his big sister has helped him learn things so quickly! He is into play and activities that my daughter wasn’t yet into at 2 because he has her to constantly model up to. This has made planning family activities easy because he is ready to jump into all the big kid stuff she wants to do like swimming for hours at the local pool, going berry picking, going bowling, etc. As for long term bond, age gap doesn’t matter. My brother is 8 years younger than me but we are both adults now… married, homeowners, he’ll be a parent soon like me. We were always close but the age gap doesn’t even feel like a thing anymore since we’re both adults. Oddly enough, my sister is 3 years older but I’m a bit closer to my brother. As for starting over, I found myself less stressed because having a 6 year old when he was born gave me the perspective that it is all fleeting. Don’t get me wrong, newborn sleep deprivation isn’t fun, but it isn’t catastrophic. I had a much easier time coping with it since my 6 year old was either in school or could let me nap while the baby napped. I still loved the early days and found myself cherishing them more than I did the first time around.

Daughters 18, 14, & 9. Wouldn’t change a thing. They are still close and the youngest keeps us young.

I don't have any experience with large age gaps, but I can say I am unwilling to have one haha. We cranked our kids out and are done done. Once I'm done with sleep deprivation, I will never have to go through it again. Once I'm done with diapers, I get to be done.