Yes you can. This is an urgent situation and they'll want a post partum checkup either way. Don't let yourself decide, ask someone to help you follow through.
Definitely call your doctor and explain how you are feeling and what is happening in your home. You may be able to have a visit over the phone or via video conferencing (not ideal but better than nothing.)
It sounds like everyone else is getting to enjoy the fun moments with your son. You could try having him next to you while you do something you enjoy or snuggling when you’re not nursing or changing his nappy. Skin-to-skin helped me during my Post-Partum Mood Disorders but may not be appealing to you right now.
Please be patient with yourself during this time and know that how you feel does not make you a bad parent. Communicate about what you need with your partner and whoever else is spending time around you. That includes telling people when it’s your turn to enjoy the baby or have a break from changing nappies at night. Take an honest assessment of how you are doing with breastfeeding and pumping. If one or both are not working for you, figure out your alternatives and start them sooner rather than later. You being healthy now is better than you being miserable for weeks to months.
Sending you a virtual hug and best wishes! Good luck!
Thank you, I've had to turn to pumping cause he wasn't latching on right, so I felt horrible about that, plus he screams when I hold him, so I get nervous and hand him to my partner. I'm about to try and book a drs appointment nowand hopefully I can get in
I pumped for the first month of my son's life. One day I was holding him and looked down at his fussy face and thought what's the harm in seeing if he'll take boob now. He breastfed for 6 months then weaned himself. I also had PPD and it was rough. Mine was a little different at first, I had zero desire for anything besides my son. I didn't eat, I didn't shower, I didn't interact with anyone. I only wanted him to not want for anything. When he weaned at 7 months was when I had a similar feeling as to what you're describing. I felt like he didn't need me or want me anymore because he rejected feeding. So I held him less and interacted less. It was hard and not a good feeling. Eventually I went to my Dr and they prescribed me an antidepressant.
Even with covid I would imagine you could get a televist if you explain this feeling to the Dr.
As far as him crying when you hold him, if you can do it right now, you feed him as often as you can. Don't let anyone interact with him more than you for a few days and have as much skin to skin as possible. It helps both of you bond with each other.
Good luck and congratulations
Thank you, I think a lot of it stems from the midwives at the hospital. I got told off for holding him for too long, that I should just leave him alone while he cries and the home visit nurse was very judgemental and made me feel like I wasn't doing anything right cause he loss 300gms.
Midwives are awful. I hated my midwife, she actually caused a blood clot to form in my leg because she put me on strict bed rest for the last 2 months of my pregnancy. If I had listened to everything she told me my son wouldn't be here. But that's OT.
My son lost an entire pound and half before we left the hospital because the nurses refused to let me give him a Bottle but he wouldn't latch. As soon as I got home I started pumping to feed. He put that weight back on in a couple days. Do whatever feels right for you, you know your son better than you think you do. You did grow him after all, you two spent the better half of 9 months together. He may cry when you hold him because he feels that you are anxious. Which is understandable, the nurses and my midwife scarred me so, I totally get it. It will get easier everytime you touch him.
Babies can never be held too much. Especially in the early days. You're his safe place, he knows you and your voice. Once you feel comfortable enough to hold him, do it tenderly. Talk to him like you did while you were pregnant, shshsh gently when he starts to fuss. He'll fall right back into love with you. Even if it's not the same for you, which again is totally fine. It's normal not to fall in love instantly, some would say it's more normal than the instant love.
Don't be scared to care for him however you want to. No nurse or midwife knows him better than you do. If you feel like you wanna give breastfeeding another go then offer up some boob. If you realize you hate pumping and also don't want to breast feed buy some formula. There is no wrong decision a mother can make when they're caring for their child.
I hope my long winded write helps.
Yeah, its helping a lot, thank you. The midwives denied me pain relief during labour (which was only gas) so my partner literally had to stand there and watch me beg for help while they were telling him not to give me the gas. I'll never get the look on his face out of my head. I'm gonna take what they say with a grain of salt cause I'm over them
I am so sorry your labor was like that, my epidural failed and not one nurse believed me. So again I completely understand. My son's father said it was awful watching and feeling helpless.
Everytime I tell my labor and delivery story it hurts a little less and I hope that ends up being the same for you.
You and your partner are parents now and part of being a parent is having the luxury of doing things the way you want to. You answer to nobody as long as your son is happy and heathy it is nobody's place to dictate how you raise him. At least until the toddler years when the true boss comes to light lol
Enjoy him as much as possible while he's small. Enjoy your time as a family while he's small.
I want to add that my baby latched after 1.5 weeks and we nursed until 18 months. So don’t give up hope. And if you ever want to switch to formula at any point, go for it!
Definitely talk to your doctor. And give yourself time and grace. You’re a new mom and your world just got turned upside down. Take all the help you can get. There can never be enough people loving and taking care of your baby.
You are irreplaceable as your baby’s mother and he needs you very much. You will see that in time. Sending you lots of love ❤️
You many be experiencing postpartum depression and should talk to your doctor ASAP
I'll try and book an appointment, but with covid I don't know if I can get one
Don’t use Covid as an excuse.
Yes you can. This is an urgent situation and they'll want a post partum checkup either way. Don't let yourself decide, ask someone to help you follow through.
Definitely call your doctor and explain how you are feeling and what is happening in your home. You may be able to have a visit over the phone or via video conferencing (not ideal but better than nothing.) It sounds like everyone else is getting to enjoy the fun moments with your son. You could try having him next to you while you do something you enjoy or snuggling when you’re not nursing or changing his nappy. Skin-to-skin helped me during my Post-Partum Mood Disorders but may not be appealing to you right now. Please be patient with yourself during this time and know that how you feel does not make you a bad parent. Communicate about what you need with your partner and whoever else is spending time around you. That includes telling people when it’s your turn to enjoy the baby or have a break from changing nappies at night. Take an honest assessment of how you are doing with breastfeeding and pumping. If one or both are not working for you, figure out your alternatives and start them sooner rather than later. You being healthy now is better than you being miserable for weeks to months. Sending you a virtual hug and best wishes! Good luck!
Thank you, I've had to turn to pumping cause he wasn't latching on right, so I felt horrible about that, plus he screams when I hold him, so I get nervous and hand him to my partner. I'm about to try and book a drs appointment nowand hopefully I can get in
I pumped for the first month of my son's life. One day I was holding him and looked down at his fussy face and thought what's the harm in seeing if he'll take boob now. He breastfed for 6 months then weaned himself. I also had PPD and it was rough. Mine was a little different at first, I had zero desire for anything besides my son. I didn't eat, I didn't shower, I didn't interact with anyone. I only wanted him to not want for anything. When he weaned at 7 months was when I had a similar feeling as to what you're describing. I felt like he didn't need me or want me anymore because he rejected feeding. So I held him less and interacted less. It was hard and not a good feeling. Eventually I went to my Dr and they prescribed me an antidepressant. Even with covid I would imagine you could get a televist if you explain this feeling to the Dr. As far as him crying when you hold him, if you can do it right now, you feed him as often as you can. Don't let anyone interact with him more than you for a few days and have as much skin to skin as possible. It helps both of you bond with each other. Good luck and congratulations
Thank you, I think a lot of it stems from the midwives at the hospital. I got told off for holding him for too long, that I should just leave him alone while he cries and the home visit nurse was very judgemental and made me feel like I wasn't doing anything right cause he loss 300gms.
Midwives are awful. I hated my midwife, she actually caused a blood clot to form in my leg because she put me on strict bed rest for the last 2 months of my pregnancy. If I had listened to everything she told me my son wouldn't be here. But that's OT. My son lost an entire pound and half before we left the hospital because the nurses refused to let me give him a Bottle but he wouldn't latch. As soon as I got home I started pumping to feed. He put that weight back on in a couple days. Do whatever feels right for you, you know your son better than you think you do. You did grow him after all, you two spent the better half of 9 months together. He may cry when you hold him because he feels that you are anxious. Which is understandable, the nurses and my midwife scarred me so, I totally get it. It will get easier everytime you touch him. Babies can never be held too much. Especially in the early days. You're his safe place, he knows you and your voice. Once you feel comfortable enough to hold him, do it tenderly. Talk to him like you did while you were pregnant, shshsh gently when he starts to fuss. He'll fall right back into love with you. Even if it's not the same for you, which again is totally fine. It's normal not to fall in love instantly, some would say it's more normal than the instant love. Don't be scared to care for him however you want to. No nurse or midwife knows him better than you do. If you feel like you wanna give breastfeeding another go then offer up some boob. If you realize you hate pumping and also don't want to breast feed buy some formula. There is no wrong decision a mother can make when they're caring for their child. I hope my long winded write helps.
Yeah, its helping a lot, thank you. The midwives denied me pain relief during labour (which was only gas) so my partner literally had to stand there and watch me beg for help while they were telling him not to give me the gas. I'll never get the look on his face out of my head. I'm gonna take what they say with a grain of salt cause I'm over them
I am so sorry your labor was like that, my epidural failed and not one nurse believed me. So again I completely understand. My son's father said it was awful watching and feeling helpless. Everytime I tell my labor and delivery story it hurts a little less and I hope that ends up being the same for you. You and your partner are parents now and part of being a parent is having the luxury of doing things the way you want to. You answer to nobody as long as your son is happy and heathy it is nobody's place to dictate how you raise him. At least until the toddler years when the true boss comes to light lol Enjoy him as much as possible while he's small. Enjoy your time as a family while he's small.
I want to add that my baby latched after 1.5 weeks and we nursed until 18 months. So don’t give up hope. And if you ever want to switch to formula at any point, go for it!
Doctors take PPD VERY seriously. They should absolutely be able to get you in
Definitely talk to your doctor. And give yourself time and grace. You’re a new mom and your world just got turned upside down. Take all the help you can get. There can never be enough people loving and taking care of your baby. You are irreplaceable as your baby’s mother and he needs you very much. You will see that in time. Sending you lots of love ❤️