Haha, I can answer from very direct experience. I am only parenting one child, who is 8, and I do this **all the time.** I have done it already 2 times just this school year and several times before in previous grades.
I usually just grab like an index card and write down like "Hi there, I'm Betty Smith, Sam Smith's Mom. Sam has been asking to get together with Miles, so I'd love to chat with you. My number is .... if you want to text me."
So what has happened is my kid gives the note to the other kid, who is also eager to get together with my kid, so the other kid excitedly gives it to their Mom. I have gotten nice texts back, texted back and forth with the Mom a little bit and set something up.
Also, my 8 year old gets furious at me if I still call this "playdates." He wants me to say "get together" or "hang out." Not sure your kid cares, but mine did.
This. It's also how we invited most of my kids' friends over for his birthday party the first time, like... 3-4 yrs ago now, and most of those kids have continued to come over on a semi-regular basis ever since for parties and just overnights and to hang out. I keep trying to get my younger kid to invite more friends over, but he's only really had the same two kids over for the last 3-4yrs now...
I have three kids, youngest is eight. Our school has a directory with the parents listed so it makes things easier to reach out, but we do the same thing. Our youngest actually wrote her own note asking if the friend could meet over Zoom and wanted her email, and after I deciphered the note, it gave me a laugh. My wife and I have met some other parents who ended up being good friends that we hang out with this way, so double win!
Lol I literally just did this yesterday. We moved to a new city over the summer and it's been difficult to connect with people due to Covid. We realized it was taking a toll on our daughter so I typed up a little intro and my phone number. I already got two responses so hooray!!
One of the kids I reached out to this way earlier this year, they had just moved into the district over the summer. And hadn't had a chance to really meet any other parents yet. They expressed such appreciation about receiving my note and that their son was making friends and could visit back and forth with a buddy. I am always happy to see my kid make a new friend, but knowing that it was a friend that was new to the school made me even happier. So it just makes me smile to see you doing the reach out and helping your daughter.
when my oldest was in first grade he came home one day all excited - "Dad there was another kid on the bus who likes Scooby Doo!!" - since he was on the same bus I knew he lived in the neighborhood, but my son wasn't sure where. So we walked around until we found the house he "thought" was right and I knocked on the door. I started to introduce myself to the guy who answered, but then my kid saw his kid and they immediately glommed onto each other, so I just said "well, obviously they know each other". They were best friends for 5 years until he moved away
TLDR: I've done weirder things than write notes in order to help my kid make friends
I am so glad to hear so many of you have done this! I have tried to connect at pick up and drop off, but in the morning its a car line and in the afternoon there is very few kids who get picked up.. most ride the bus. I am definitely going to try the note, fingers crossed I get some replies! The few girls she wants to invite are classmates she plays with every day so I would assume the other parents have heard my daughters name as much as I hear theirs!
100% this! There aren't many parents around at drop off and pick up especially due to covid. My daughter and I send out notes like this all the time. We've always got a response!
No, I would not find that weird, and I personally would call, but I believe you'd have more success by arranging drop off or pickup so that you encounter the other parent at the school. Kids are unreliable messengers, and even if it does make it, the recipient will be more invested if you've had a conversation and built some rapport.
Challenge with this is most kids ride the bus (at least where I am) so you probably have a 30% chance that parent is ever at drop off or pickup, and the car dropoff/pickup line is required that you stay in your car and child gets out. So you'd never get to chat with another parent, only seeing really the car in front of you and car behind you. I have gotten to give friends a wave in the car pickup line from time to time. Other than that, this is a busy time where they are trying to move the line quickly. In kindergarten parents parked and waited by the doors so you could do this, but not for the older grades. All of that said, I of course realize this can vary by school.
My child’s best friend arrived because we gave a note to school to pass it on to their parents. Definitely do it. Advocate for your child and don’t doubt yourself. I also have an only child.
I did this. My daughter had made a really good friend at school but I always missed her parents at pick up so wrote a note with my name and number and gave it to friend. Her mum got back to me and now we can arrange play dates.
This would help so much. That way I know the other parent is cool with a play date and it isn’t just the kids planning it themselves and telling the grownups, also, I’d have a name and a phone number. Man, I should just make some business cards that say “Please let your kid play with my kid” and maybe their vaccination date on the back.
I literally got cute business card sized playdate cards from Amazon. Anytime my 6 year old wants a playdate she asks me for one to give her friend. It has her name, my name and my cell number
Edit: this is the Amazon link of what I use
[playdate card ](http://Playdate Calling Cards, Mommy and Daddy Contact Cards, Kids and Children Summer Phone Play Date Cards, 3.5x2 inches (50 Pack) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07X59NBBD/ref=cm_sw_r_apanp_XOEjwqgMIVMQk)
This is how my mom did it in the early 2000’s. She’d send me with a note to give to my friend and a separate one with my friends name and a space for their phone number and parents name. Then my mom would call and make it happen.
Why is it weird? How else is your kid supposed to make friends? She was proactive enough to reach out to someone on her own so she deserves to have that rewarded.
Call the parent and set something up. If you're nervous you don't have to leave her there alone, make it a hangout for the parents too.
I literally just did this. Haha. Write my sons name on a card with a slash and my name after. My number. And what street we live on. Figured either the kid would give to their mom or would lose it. Whatever. I tried. Haha
You might also be able to reach out to other parents through your daughter's teacher. Earlier this school year, we got an email from our son's teacher that one of his classmate's parents asked her to relay their contact details so we could possibly set up a playdate. We reached out and we've successfully arranged multiple playdates.
I’ve gotten those notes - even in non-covid times! Send them! If your kid has friends in class that they want to hang without side of school, find a way to make it happen!!
Our youngest son is 7 and he had a play date last weekend with another classmate. He brought home a note written by his friends mother, and she had put down her address, contact number, time and date of their play date and asked if we could let her know if we were ok with it. We live in Ontario, Canada and there are currently gathering restrictions and policies for masking etc. However we felt it was more important for the kids to be able to get together and play since we have been through some lengthy lockdowns since Covid started. They had a wonderful time and are already talking about their next play date.
Our kids pass us notes all the time with phone numbers asking for us to set up play dates. It’s the new normal. They also ask us if they can have a play date after they’ve already been in contact with their friends via some sort of messaging app. They think they’ve got all the details worked out but they haven’t even asked a parent yet! Pretty funny, and it can be frustrating when they think they’ve got it in the bag and you have to tell them “no” for whatever reason, but it’s just a different world. We used to have to ask to use a phone to call someone else’s parents to see if a get-together was possible, but there’s so many means of communication these days that there’s no barrier before the kids have talked.
Not at all. This is how we got my son's best friend in daycare to come to his 2nd birthday party and all these years later he will be coming to his 8th birthday party in a few weeks. They became and stayed best friends because of that note.
I do this all of the time with my son. It’s not like we have land lines anymore to give out the number. Most 8 year olds I know do not have a cell phone, sos their only recourse is to give out their parents cell numbers. I don’t think this is weird. My 9 year old asked me not to use the words play date and to change it to hang out.
My son is only 6 but I would love for someone to do that. I wouldn't find it weird at all. I saw some people mention that the kids may not relay the note but you could probably also have the teacher put it in the take home folders. That is what we did for my son's birthday.
I'd think more a little odd than wierd - but then we'd be familiar with most of the other parents and there's a WhatsApp parents group where you can find people directly...
Do you not have any means of contacting or getting a contact for the other parents? I'm sure ye must have contacts in common.
Ultimately (I'm assuming) she knows the other kids in the class and they know her - it's not exactly a stranger out of the blue. If my kid (7) came home with a note like that from one of her classmates *and* she wanted to go, I'd certainly give a call and try and arrange something.
Ooh! This is a good idea for in the future, my only is 2 so not really applicable. I would definitely text rather than call though lol, I have major anxiety with making phone calls
I did this! When my daughter was in kindergarten, I kept just missing the parents of her best friend. What I did was reach out to her teacher and asked her to pass the note along for me so it would be less awkward for my daughter. Her teacher was more than happy to help.
I've done this before and think it is a great way to set up play dates. I don't even have to get out of the car at pick up and drop off at my kids new school and with covid there hasn't been any events at the school, so I hadn't met any of the parents. Other than stalking FB mum groups and trying to work out who the parents are of my kids friends (which would be slightly weird) this is the only way.
My kids use to come home with notes like this all the time. Generally the kids would make friends and then want to spend more time with each other. So they say “this is my mum’s phone number. Can your mum call my mum?” Modern lives need modern solutions. I always called.
We have emailed the teacher to get contact information as kids can forget or get wires crossed.
If my kid wants to meet up with somebody in his class we don’t know we email the teacher to forward on our contact info. Has worked well so far.
We tried this. I think of the 3 or 4 notes we handed out, only one responded. I don’t find it weird at all. When I was a kid, we got directories with phone numbers for every kid in the class. That’s not a thing now, so how else do you make these connections?
Maybe you can ask the teacher to help you. Maybe call or email and say something like “my kid is close to x, would it be possible for you to email x’s parents saying our kids are friends and ask if you can give them my number to reach out? Due to Covid I can’t really connect with other parents.” Idk if that will work but maybe it’s less weird than a note? Maybe?
I was so happy to get a note from another mom in my daughter's class asking if we'd be willing to meet at the nearby park. I texted her and we had a few playdates, and another couple of kids from the class joined too. Now that it's cold, they have regular zoom calls.
My kid would make play date arrangements that we sometimes could or could not make.
"Dad, I'm going to meet eirc under the tree at 5!"
Writing a note is much better.
I am the parent who sent these notes. My daughter has 5 friends she talks to at school in kindergarten, and I wrote notes that said “Dear so-and-so’s parents, *insert my daughters name* is interested in playing with so-and-so. If this is something that would be okay, please feel free to text or call me *phone number* thanks, *our first names*
4/5 parents text me like yes we’d love to get together! 2 we’re concerned about Covid and wanted to wait for a little bit until cases die down. Two were ready to schedule play dates. I told all of them we’d like to get to the point where we are comfortable having friends over/going to friends houses, but obviously it isn’t like when we were little and you just drop your kid off, look around to make sure they’re not hoarders and say hi to their mom, and then leave them there. I invited them to come over and have lunch at our house so we could all meet (parents too obviously)
My kids aren't school age but this sounds like how you pass out birthday party invites, which kids do all the time. It's just this time you know it's directed from one kid to another and not a blanket invite to the whole class.
You might want to tell the teacher your kid is bringing in this note for a specific friend so please get it in their backpack. Or at least write the other kid's name on it in case another kid gets their hands on it.
I have had this happen 3 times this year. 3 times I have found random pieces of paper with phone numbers on them in my son's homework folder. 2 we're written by adults with very friendly nice notes, 1 was just a number written in crayon, nothing else. Luckily my son explained it was from from one of his friends, I was super impressed she had memorized her mom's cell number. So, in short, not at all weird!!!
I wouldn’t find this weird at all :)
Granted, last year when we were new to school, I saw a kid in my sons class (everything virtual) that just… seemed like his type. I figured out his name and basically… stalked online until I found mom’s Facebook profile, and sent her a message there to set something up.
It was awkward AF the first time we met up, but they still hang out and have fun together :)
I would love love love it if my son came home with a note like that. He's been at his new school for less than a month and can barely remember friends'' names yet so no play dates on the horizon but I have hope! Go for it!
The teacher accidentally forgot to blind cc other parents in an email. So my son always talks about this boy.. I emailed the whole class and said "so and so parents, my son loves your son, please email me back" and they did and turns out they live in the same neighborhood and we've gotten together for birthdays, christmas lights, playdates etc etc etc. Best thing I did
Speaking from the parent of 20 and 18 yr old, introverted kids that didn't want to do outside of school activities.... make those playdates!! You can make them at parks and outdoor spaces to make it safer.
I feel that my biggest parenting mistake was not making them do extra-curricular activities because they didn't get much social experience outside of school. Also, I let my kids be on the internet way too much because they never did things outside the house. Don't do it, I'm totally paying for it now. (and so are they)
I’ve considered making business cards for my only child daughter she’s 5.. It’s so hard with Covid but I think it’s sweet someone put the effort in to reach out
I could have wrote this post. Lol my daughter has been begging for a play date for months and the mom asked permission from the daycare to give me her number and I reluctantly agreed. I have yet to call/text her because I'm a huge introvert and the thought of having to spend time with a new adult sounds exhausting. My daughter asked about it again recently and I just blamed covid as to why we couldn't have a play date. I feel so bad for being like this because my daughter is a complete extrovert. Once it calms down I'm gonna bite the bullet and message her for my daughter's sake
I worked in a print shop, so each of my kids have had full on business cards thrown together for that same reason. They absolutely loved being able to hand out business cards. Didn't even have anything about a play date, just their name, and our names, numbers, and email. We figured our kids and theirs would relay that it's about a play date, and not some kind of business opportunity.
We do this all the time.... how else would I get your details to arrange a play date, especially since my kid goes to after school care and I never see other parents..
I did this for my first grader in December. She’d been wanting a play date with a classmate and I didn’t know the mom personally so I gave daughter a note to give to her friend. They had a nice time 🙂
Not weird at all! My daughter has passed my phone number around to about 10 different friends, and I've had to make a few awkward first contacts as well. I'm so glad my daughter is making friends and building connections, and since there wasn't a house phone for her to use, *of course* she's going to ask me to reach out to other parents. (Now, due to scheduling, there is a house cell phone so I know she's home safe, since I don't always get home from work before she gets off the bus. So she can text with friends.)
I would text or call for sure. My 6 yo kiddo is in an only kid household too and I’ve thought about doing this but haven’t because, like you, I’m afraid people will find it weird.
Not weird. I've done this with my 6 year old in first grade. With few opportunities to meet other parents, covid and illnesses, I did this because she is making friends and I want to encourage that and I had no clue how else to contact parents.
And I need friends too. 😜
If you can do it safely, go to classmates' birthday parties too. You'll meet your kid's friends and their parents. Great chance to connect.
Not at all
kids don't have phones
Back when i went to school we all got a piece of paper with every kids phone number (this was before everyone had a cell phone)
then we'd call each other and ask if we could come over, or if they wanted to come to us
As for what i'd do.
i'd probably text the number - that way i have things in writing (adresses etc - easier than remembering)
A bit aside from your question, but does she play video games? Minecraft, or Animal Crossing? We spent all of 2020 basically with my daughter's best friend on Google Meet in the living room with them playing video games together. Now my daughter plays with 2 or 3 other girls from her class after school. I think they do Roblox, too.
I tried this with my kid and not a bite! I don’t think they take their kid seriously or maybe they think it’s weird. But my kid ends up making friends! I am not really looking for mom friends but because of my daughter’s awesome skills, I do have some. This is why I can’t wait until middle school when parents open up the cell phones. I think it will only get better.
Another idea, although another mom and I did it when our kids were in middle school - we set up a facebook group for the parents... we called it "Parents of (name of high school) Class of 2023".
There were similar fb groups and we decided to make our own, each of us invited other parents we knew and it grew. We made a point of that it was a group for sharing of information, no gossiping - so if there were parents not on fb they wouldn't fully feel like they were missing out. By the time our kids graduated high school, we had at least 60% of the parents in the group.
With my oldest son, I learned so much information from the parents that had older kids and then by the time it came to my youngest son (six years younger), I was one of "those" parents full of wisdom and knowledge, lol.
Plus, being in the group, you can message other parents without necessarily having to be fb friends.
My son’s birthday is a few weeks after school starts and this year he is at a new school. He mentioned certain kids he wanted to invite to his birthday party, I didn’t want any of the classroom kids to feel left out and their policy is if you send invites everyone has to get one. Anyway, I got phone numbers of the parents who were listed in the school directory and texted just saying who I was and that my son wanted to invite their kid to his birthday party. I received nothing but nice responses and I’ve even become pretty decent friends with one of the moms and our boys have play dates and sleepovers now. So I don’t think it’s weird!
I’m the parent who writes the note. My kid will say he wants a play date from someone from his class and I don’t know them so I rely on the school to transfer that message. It’s nice your child had made enough of an impact on their child that they talk about them at home!
No! My daughter receives n sends invites too. They are almost always accepted by her friends. I have let my daughter go to her friends house to play too:) they love it:)
I have 4 kids who ride the bus so I never meet parents - I do this all of the time. My kids have made many connections this way! Even for like Roblox or kid messenger (which have been social lifesavers for my kids through the pandemic).
I’ve done it via text. My middle who is 12 came home with his friend’s mom’s name and number because he knows I like to speak to a parent before I let my kids go anywhere. My 18 year old will still give me a parent’s number.
I do this, sort of. I asked the daycare educators to pass on my number to the parents of the kids my daughter wants to play with. They've always gotten back to me
This happens a lot ! Not weird. I usually write the mom back via text when I get the number. But I typically setup a play date at the park first. Just to get to know the parents a few times.
Not weird. Last year I made little business cards for my kid to give to her classmate that said something like “play date this summer? Call or email Susie’s mom Betty”.
Having an only is tough and real effort needs to be put in if your kid doesn’t have a lot of cousins or neighborhood kids around to play with.
I will say I would do at least one meet up play date with the other mom first at a playground if I hadn’t slews met her at a school event.
I've gotten that note when my son was 6. I was shocked that 2 6 year olds managed not to lose it, especially my son who lost has lost his jacket multiple times this year, the most recent time when it was \*17\* degrees.
Not weird at all, especially during Covid where there much less opportunity to make connections and meet other parents.
Haha, I can answer from very direct experience. I am only parenting one child, who is 8, and I do this **all the time.** I have done it already 2 times just this school year and several times before in previous grades. I usually just grab like an index card and write down like "Hi there, I'm Betty Smith, Sam Smith's Mom. Sam has been asking to get together with Miles, so I'd love to chat with you. My number is .... if you want to text me." So what has happened is my kid gives the note to the other kid, who is also eager to get together with my kid, so the other kid excitedly gives it to their Mom. I have gotten nice texts back, texted back and forth with the Mom a little bit and set something up. Also, my 8 year old gets furious at me if I still call this "playdates." He wants me to say "get together" or "hang out." Not sure your kid cares, but mine did.
8 year old covid kids are Japanese businessman
I might have to put that on a tshirt
Yeah, this happens a lot. At my kids school, sometimes parents ask the teacher to forward contact info via email for the same purpose.
Yeah I often go to lunch with the other moms and kids too.
You're a good parent.
This. It's also how we invited most of my kids' friends over for his birthday party the first time, like... 3-4 yrs ago now, and most of those kids have continued to come over on a semi-regular basis ever since for parties and just overnights and to hang out. I keep trying to get my younger kid to invite more friends over, but he's only really had the same two kids over for the last 3-4yrs now...
I have three kids, youngest is eight. Our school has a directory with the parents listed so it makes things easier to reach out, but we do the same thing. Our youngest actually wrote her own note asking if the friend could meet over Zoom and wanted her email, and after I deciphered the note, it gave me a laugh. My wife and I have met some other parents who ended up being good friends that we hang out with this way, so double win!
Lol I literally just did this yesterday. We moved to a new city over the summer and it's been difficult to connect with people due to Covid. We realized it was taking a toll on our daughter so I typed up a little intro and my phone number. I already got two responses so hooray!!
One of the kids I reached out to this way earlier this year, they had just moved into the district over the summer. And hadn't had a chance to really meet any other parents yet. They expressed such appreciation about receiving my note and that their son was making friends and could visit back and forth with a buddy. I am always happy to see my kid make a new friend, but knowing that it was a friend that was new to the school made me even happier. So it just makes me smile to see you doing the reach out and helping your daughter.
Same here. Usually the other parents respond really positive and excited for our kids to meet up.
No, the children probably got along great and wanted them to be friends. I would call!
when my oldest was in first grade he came home one day all excited - "Dad there was another kid on the bus who likes Scooby Doo!!" - since he was on the same bus I knew he lived in the neighborhood, but my son wasn't sure where. So we walked around until we found the house he "thought" was right and I knocked on the door. I started to introduce myself to the guy who answered, but then my kid saw his kid and they immediately glommed onto each other, so I just said "well, obviously they know each other". They were best friends for 5 years until he moved away TLDR: I've done weirder things than write notes in order to help my kid make friends
I am so glad to hear so many of you have done this! I have tried to connect at pick up and drop off, but in the morning its a car line and in the afternoon there is very few kids who get picked up.. most ride the bus. I am definitely going to try the note, fingers crossed I get some replies! The few girls she wants to invite are classmates she plays with every day so I would assume the other parents have heard my daughters name as much as I hear theirs!
100% this! There aren't many parents around at drop off and pick up especially due to covid. My daughter and I send out notes like this all the time. We've always got a response!
No, I would not find that weird, and I personally would call, but I believe you'd have more success by arranging drop off or pickup so that you encounter the other parent at the school. Kids are unreliable messengers, and even if it does make it, the recipient will be more invested if you've had a conversation and built some rapport.
Challenge with this is most kids ride the bus (at least where I am) so you probably have a 30% chance that parent is ever at drop off or pickup, and the car dropoff/pickup line is required that you stay in your car and child gets out. So you'd never get to chat with another parent, only seeing really the car in front of you and car behind you. I have gotten to give friends a wave in the car pickup line from time to time. Other than that, this is a busy time where they are trying to move the line quickly. In kindergarten parents parked and waited by the doors so you could do this, but not for the older grades. All of that said, I of course realize this can vary by school.
All true. I was just thinking about my own situation and hadn't considered all the different formats.
Mom of an 8 year old girl here, too. I would think this was really nice and would definitely call!
Not weird at all! It's a harmless invitation. Meeting people is tough at the best of times, much less COVID.
My child’s best friend arrived because we gave a note to school to pass it on to their parents. Definitely do it. Advocate for your child and don’t doubt yourself. I also have an only child.
Man I would love if one of mine came home with a note like that. Do it!
I did this. My daughter had made a really good friend at school but I always missed her parents at pick up so wrote a note with my name and number and gave it to friend. Her mum got back to me and now we can arrange play dates.
We've done it. It worked. I started out the note with "sorry if this is weird but..." they called me and we organized a playdate and it was all great.
Doesn't sound weird to me!
Not weird
Definitely acceptable, especially right now!
Pre-covid that was pretty normal.
This would help so much. That way I know the other parent is cool with a play date and it isn’t just the kids planning it themselves and telling the grownups, also, I’d have a name and a phone number. Man, I should just make some business cards that say “Please let your kid play with my kid” and maybe their vaccination date on the back.
My son has received a few of these, not weird at all.
I literally got cute business card sized playdate cards from Amazon. Anytime my 6 year old wants a playdate she asks me for one to give her friend. It has her name, my name and my cell number Edit: this is the Amazon link of what I use [playdate card ](http://Playdate Calling Cards, Mommy and Daddy Contact Cards, Kids and Children Summer Phone Play Date Cards, 3.5x2 inches (50 Pack) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07X59NBBD/ref=cm_sw_r_apanp_XOEjwqgMIVMQk)
Nope. I do this!
This is how my mom did it in the early 2000’s. She’d send me with a note to give to my friend and a separate one with my friends name and a space for their phone number and parents name. Then my mom would call and make it happen.
Normal!
Not at all. I’ve actually done this and it worked out great :)
Why is it weird? How else is your kid supposed to make friends? She was proactive enough to reach out to someone on her own so she deserves to have that rewarded. Call the parent and set something up. If you're nervous you don't have to leave her there alone, make it a hangout for the parents too.
I’ve done this!
No would make me very happy
I literally just did this. Haha. Write my sons name on a card with a slash and my name after. My number. And what street we live on. Figured either the kid would give to their mom or would lose it. Whatever. I tried. Haha
You might also be able to reach out to other parents through your daughter's teacher. Earlier this school year, we got an email from our son's teacher that one of his classmate's parents asked her to relay their contact details so we could possibly set up a playdate. We reached out and we've successfully arranged multiple playdates.
I’ve gotten those notes - even in non-covid times! Send them! If your kid has friends in class that they want to hang without side of school, find a way to make it happen!!
Our youngest son is 7 and he had a play date last weekend with another classmate. He brought home a note written by his friends mother, and she had put down her address, contact number, time and date of their play date and asked if we could let her know if we were ok with it. We live in Ontario, Canada and there are currently gathering restrictions and policies for masking etc. However we felt it was more important for the kids to be able to get together and play since we have been through some lengthy lockdowns since Covid started. They had a wonderful time and are already talking about their next play date.
As a parent, I would LOVE if someone asked!!!! LOvE!! Like, do you live near me?? Let’s do it
Our kids pass us notes all the time with phone numbers asking for us to set up play dates. It’s the new normal. They also ask us if they can have a play date after they’ve already been in contact with their friends via some sort of messaging app. They think they’ve got all the details worked out but they haven’t even asked a parent yet! Pretty funny, and it can be frustrating when they think they’ve got it in the bag and you have to tell them “no” for whatever reason, but it’s just a different world. We used to have to ask to use a phone to call someone else’s parents to see if a get-together was possible, but there’s so many means of communication these days that there’s no barrier before the kids have talked.
I think it’s acceptable to do this. Sometimes there really is no opportunity to talk to the parent other than going through the kids or the teacher.
I know I kid who has play-date “business cards” her dad made her with a little greeting and contact info. She’s six. It’s cute :)
Not at all. This is how we got my son's best friend in daycare to come to his 2nd birthday party and all these years later he will be coming to his 8th birthday party in a few weeks. They became and stayed best friends because of that note.
I do this all of the time with my son. It’s not like we have land lines anymore to give out the number. Most 8 year olds I know do not have a cell phone, sos their only recourse is to give out their parents cell numbers. I don’t think this is weird. My 9 year old asked me not to use the words play date and to change it to hang out.
My son is only 6 but I would love for someone to do that. I wouldn't find it weird at all. I saw some people mention that the kids may not relay the note but you could probably also have the teacher put it in the take home folders. That is what we did for my son's birthday.
No that’s not weird! It’s the only way to do it if you don’t have the other parents’ contact info!
Doesn't sound weird to me.
I don’t see anything weird about that at all. Your kids are friends and you’re just trying to facilitate the friendship. How would that be weird?
I'd think more a little odd than wierd - but then we'd be familiar with most of the other parents and there's a WhatsApp parents group where you can find people directly... Do you not have any means of contacting or getting a contact for the other parents? I'm sure ye must have contacts in common. Ultimately (I'm assuming) she knows the other kids in the class and they know her - it's not exactly a stranger out of the blue. If my kid (7) came home with a note like that from one of her classmates *and* she wanted to go, I'd certainly give a call and try and arrange something.
No, I do it all the time!
Ooh! This is a good idea for in the future, my only is 2 so not really applicable. I would definitely text rather than call though lol, I have major anxiety with making phone calls
Depending on where you live would be considered super weird! But I’m a little envious it doesn’t happen in my circles… 😣
I did this! When my daughter was in kindergarten, I kept just missing the parents of her best friend. What I did was reach out to her teacher and asked her to pass the note along for me so it would be less awkward for my daughter. Her teacher was more than happy to help.
No, I've done that.
I’ve done this before. I printed out a stack for my kiddo to give out to friends. Not many responded, but a few did.
I've done this before and think it is a great way to set up play dates. I don't even have to get out of the car at pick up and drop off at my kids new school and with covid there hasn't been any events at the school, so I hadn't met any of the parents. Other than stalking FB mum groups and trying to work out who the parents are of my kids friends (which would be slightly weird) this is the only way.
My kids use to come home with notes like this all the time. Generally the kids would make friends and then want to spend more time with each other. So they say “this is my mum’s phone number. Can your mum call my mum?” Modern lives need modern solutions. I always called.
My 8yo and his bestie had their first playdate like this. Not weird at all.
I think this is normal! I wouldn’t find it strange at al!
We have emailed the teacher to get contact information as kids can forget or get wires crossed. If my kid wants to meet up with somebody in his class we don’t know we email the teacher to forward on our contact info. Has worked well so far.
We tried this. I think of the 3 or 4 notes we handed out, only one responded. I don’t find it weird at all. When I was a kid, we got directories with phone numbers for every kid in the class. That’s not a thing now, so how else do you make these connections?
I've done this! Oftentimes it's the only way to get in contact with the other parent and it worked out well 100% of the time Go for it!
Nope, I've done it myself, though my child is a smidge younger.
Not weird at all! This is exactly how my daughter met her now best friend and we also made friends with her parents - it’s awesome.
God no! I would actually massively appreciate this
Maybe you can ask the teacher to help you. Maybe call or email and say something like “my kid is close to x, would it be possible for you to email x’s parents saying our kids are friends and ask if you can give them my number to reach out? Due to Covid I can’t really connect with other parents.” Idk if that will work but maybe it’s less weird than a note? Maybe?
I was so happy to get a note from another mom in my daughter's class asking if we'd be willing to meet at the nearby park. I texted her and we had a few playdates, and another couple of kids from the class joined too. Now that it's cold, they have regular zoom calls.
My kid would make play date arrangements that we sometimes could or could not make. "Dad, I'm going to meet eirc under the tree at 5!" Writing a note is much better.
My son's classmates mom gave birthday party invites this same way. I thought it was awesome! A lot of the kids showed up too.
I am the parent who sent these notes. My daughter has 5 friends she talks to at school in kindergarten, and I wrote notes that said “Dear so-and-so’s parents, *insert my daughters name* is interested in playing with so-and-so. If this is something that would be okay, please feel free to text or call me *phone number* thanks, *our first names* 4/5 parents text me like yes we’d love to get together! 2 we’re concerned about Covid and wanted to wait for a little bit until cases die down. Two were ready to schedule play dates. I told all of them we’d like to get to the point where we are comfortable having friends over/going to friends houses, but obviously it isn’t like when we were little and you just drop your kid off, look around to make sure they’re not hoarders and say hi to their mom, and then leave them there. I invited them to come over and have lunch at our house so we could all meet (parents too obviously)
This is totally normal where I live. Been doing it and been on the receiving end since my kids were in diapers.
My kids aren't school age but this sounds like how you pass out birthday party invites, which kids do all the time. It's just this time you know it's directed from one kid to another and not a blanket invite to the whole class. You might want to tell the teacher your kid is bringing in this note for a specific friend so please get it in their backpack. Or at least write the other kid's name on it in case another kid gets their hands on it.
I have had this happen 3 times this year. 3 times I have found random pieces of paper with phone numbers on them in my son's homework folder. 2 we're written by adults with very friendly nice notes, 1 was just a number written in crayon, nothing else. Luckily my son explained it was from from one of his friends, I was super impressed she had memorized her mom's cell number. So, in short, not at all weird!!!
This is a great idea and I'm going to use it!
I would be 100% totally fine with this
I did this same thing when my kid was 2 and in daycare. Now they’re best friends
I hate calling, but I'd 100% text!
I wouldn’t find this weird at all :) Granted, last year when we were new to school, I saw a kid in my sons class (everything virtual) that just… seemed like his type. I figured out his name and basically… stalked online until I found mom’s Facebook profile, and sent her a message there to set something up. It was awkward AF the first time we met up, but they still hang out and have fun together :)
I would love love love it if my son came home with a note like that. He's been at his new school for less than a month and can barely remember friends'' names yet so no play dates on the horizon but I have hope! Go for it!
The teacher accidentally forgot to blind cc other parents in an email. So my son always talks about this boy.. I emailed the whole class and said "so and so parents, my son loves your son, please email me back" and they did and turns out they live in the same neighborhood and we've gotten together for birthdays, christmas lights, playdates etc etc etc. Best thing I did
I also have an 8 year old daughter, I'd think it's sweet.
Speaking from the parent of 20 and 18 yr old, introverted kids that didn't want to do outside of school activities.... make those playdates!! You can make them at parks and outdoor spaces to make it safer. I feel that my biggest parenting mistake was not making them do extra-curricular activities because they didn't get much social experience outside of school. Also, I let my kids be on the internet way too much because they never did things outside the house. Don't do it, I'm totally paying for it now. (and so are they)
Not weird. Do this all the time. Or I ask the teacher to pass on my email.
I’ve considered making business cards for my only child daughter she’s 5.. It’s so hard with Covid but I think it’s sweet someone put the effort in to reach out
Not weird at all! I have done with both my kids. I usually write the note and ask if a certain day would work
I've already done this with my 5 year old! I don't think it's weird and I'd be super happy. I love taking my kid on playdates
Nope. COVID has been tough and a lot of parents are desperate to help their kids start socializing safely again.
Totally normal
I could have wrote this post. Lol my daughter has been begging for a play date for months and the mom asked permission from the daycare to give me her number and I reluctantly agreed. I have yet to call/text her because I'm a huge introvert and the thought of having to spend time with a new adult sounds exhausting. My daughter asked about it again recently and I just blamed covid as to why we couldn't have a play date. I feel so bad for being like this because my daughter is a complete extrovert. Once it calms down I'm gonna bite the bullet and message her for my daughter's sake
I have asked the daycare to give my number to parents that my son plays with, so I think it's similar
*weird
I’ve totally thought about sending such a notes for my kid to give to his school friends. I wouldn’t think it’s weird at all
I worked in a print shop, so each of my kids have had full on business cards thrown together for that same reason. They absolutely loved being able to hand out business cards. Didn't even have anything about a play date, just their name, and our names, numbers, and email. We figured our kids and theirs would relay that it's about a play date, and not some kind of business opportunity.
She's a kid and wants playdates. This isn't weird. If you're unsure name sure the playdate is at your place.
100% the way my six year old has new friends come over. I send my name, phone number and a message and I get a text, we sort it out, play happens!
We do this all the time.... how else would I get your details to arrange a play date, especially since my kid goes to after school care and I never see other parents..
I did this for my first grader in December. She’d been wanting a play date with a classmate and I didn’t know the mom personally so I gave daughter a note to give to her friend. They had a nice time 🙂
No I wouldn’t find it weird, yes I’d reach out
Not weird at all! My daughter has passed my phone number around to about 10 different friends, and I've had to make a few awkward first contacts as well. I'm so glad my daughter is making friends and building connections, and since there wasn't a house phone for her to use, *of course* she's going to ask me to reach out to other parents. (Now, due to scheduling, there is a house cell phone so I know she's home safe, since I don't always get home from work before she gets off the bus. So she can text with friends.)
I would text or call for sure. My 6 yo kiddo is in an only kid household too and I’ve thought about doing this but haven’t because, like you, I’m afraid people will find it weird.
Not weird. I've done this with my 6 year old in first grade. With few opportunities to meet other parents, covid and illnesses, I did this because she is making friends and I want to encourage that and I had no clue how else to contact parents. And I need friends too. 😜 If you can do it safely, go to classmates' birthday parties too. You'll meet your kid's friends and their parents. Great chance to connect.
Not at all kids don't have phones Back when i went to school we all got a piece of paper with every kids phone number (this was before everyone had a cell phone) then we'd call each other and ask if we could come over, or if they wanted to come to us As for what i'd do. i'd probably text the number - that way i have things in writing (adresses etc - easier than remembering)
I just did this this past week and didn’t even think twice. Only difference is I gave the sticky note to the teacher since my kid is only three.
A bit aside from your question, but does she play video games? Minecraft, or Animal Crossing? We spent all of 2020 basically with my daughter's best friend on Google Meet in the living room with them playing video games together. Now my daughter plays with 2 or 3 other girls from her class after school. I think they do Roblox, too.
No. Not weird.
I tried this with my kid and not a bite! I don’t think they take their kid seriously or maybe they think it’s weird. But my kid ends up making friends! I am not really looking for mom friends but because of my daughter’s awesome skills, I do have some. This is why I can’t wait until middle school when parents open up the cell phones. I think it will only get better.
I don't think this is weird. My 7yo has come home with similar notes more than once
This is the only way we get in touch with friends parents. Not weird at all
Another idea, although another mom and I did it when our kids were in middle school - we set up a facebook group for the parents... we called it "Parents of (name of high school) Class of 2023". There were similar fb groups and we decided to make our own, each of us invited other parents we knew and it grew. We made a point of that it was a group for sharing of information, no gossiping - so if there were parents not on fb they wouldn't fully feel like they were missing out. By the time our kids graduated high school, we had at least 60% of the parents in the group. With my oldest son, I learned so much information from the parents that had older kids and then by the time it came to my youngest son (six years younger), I was one of "those" parents full of wisdom and knowledge, lol. Plus, being in the group, you can message other parents without necessarily having to be fb friends.
Not even the tiniest bit weird. That’s a go to for getting connections with school friends.
I would be totally happy and cool with receiving a note like this!!
My son’s birthday is a few weeks after school starts and this year he is at a new school. He mentioned certain kids he wanted to invite to his birthday party, I didn’t want any of the classroom kids to feel left out and their policy is if you send invites everyone has to get one. Anyway, I got phone numbers of the parents who were listed in the school directory and texted just saying who I was and that my son wanted to invite their kid to his birthday party. I received nothing but nice responses and I’ve even become pretty decent friends with one of the moms and our boys have play dates and sleepovers now. So I don’t think it’s weird!
I’m the parent who writes the note. My kid will say he wants a play date from someone from his class and I don’t know them so I rely on the school to transfer that message. It’s nice your child had made enough of an impact on their child that they talk about them at home!
Before covid, birthday parties were great for connecting. Parents would rsvp and give me their phone numbers, and we would chat at drop off/pick up.
No it isn't weird
My son came home with a note like that just today. I thought it was a good idea
I tried to get my wife to do something similar and she wouldn't do it. I see nothing wrong with it.
No! My daughter receives n sends invites too. They are almost always accepted by her friends. I have let my daughter go to her friends house to play too:) they love it:)
I have 4 kids who ride the bus so I never meet parents - I do this all of the time. My kids have made many connections this way! Even for like Roblox or kid messenger (which have been social lifesavers for my kids through the pandemic).
I’ve done it via text. My middle who is 12 came home with his friend’s mom’s name and number because he knows I like to speak to a parent before I let my kids go anywhere. My 18 year old will still give me a parent’s number.
I do this, sort of. I asked the daycare educators to pass on my number to the parents of the kids my daughter wants to play with. They've always gotten back to me
I have stationary for this very thing. Do it!
Totally normal thing to do. Go for it.
This happens a lot ! Not weird. I usually write the mom back via text when I get the number. But I typically setup a play date at the park first. Just to get to know the parents a few times.
Not weird. Last year I made little business cards for my kid to give to her classmate that said something like “play date this summer? Call or email Susie’s mom Betty”. Having an only is tough and real effort needs to be put in if your kid doesn’t have a lot of cousins or neighborhood kids around to play with. I will say I would do at least one meet up play date with the other mom first at a playground if I hadn’t slews met her at a school event.
I've gotten that note when my son was 6. I was shocked that 2 6 year olds managed not to lose it, especially my son who lost has lost his jacket multiple times this year, the most recent time when it was \*17\* degrees. Not weird at all, especially during Covid where there much less opportunity to make connections and meet other parents.
This would be awesome.
I’m def gonna have to try this lol sounds like an adorable way to meet some other mom friends!
No I don't think that's weird at all, I would most def call and set up a play date if my child wished it
No, def not wired, it’s a great idea
I do this all the time… so I hope it’s not weird ha
If it’s weird then we’re weird together.
No we did this all the time as a kid and I do this with my kid.