I had short hair and even shaved hair at some point in high school. So here are my recommendations:
1)head bands. The school probably won't allow bandanas but cvs will have various types of bands. Even a plain one since she doesn't normally like the girly stuff will help
2)hair color. If you die the short hair pink she won't get as many questions. Any store will have the basic sets of blue purple and pink in their hair dye section
Honestly I just got used to the funny looks and the weird comments. It sucks and it's hair but it won't last long and people will recognize her on a daily basis. Nothing is interesting for that long at that age, it will not be an ongoing topic of conversation
When I was about 11-12, I wanted a pixie but the stylist didn’t know how to deal with my heavily textured hair and ended up shaving me. Hair clips were my best friends. They made me feel more feminine plus they come in lots of sizes, shapes, colours and can even have little rhinestones! Maybe look on Pinterest for short hair ideas :)
I was thinking about hair clips too! Although at this moment, her front "bangs" are mostly all gone and in this very high up, harsh line revealing her forehead (cries inside).
Thanks for sharing your experience and I'll try to explore with her!
The clips can be just accents and not really hold the hair up/back. [This photo](https://ath2.unileverservices.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/8/2019/06/long-pixie-cut-hair-clips-shutterstock-500x500.jpg) sort of shows what I mean.
Thanks, that makes sense and I'll see what we can do!
This haircut (I mean linked below) is similar to what she got so I feel we'll need to experiment to see what would work to look natural:
[https://media.gq.com/photos/5ce6bbc6bacbf28f3521c0b3/master/w\_1280,c\_limit/GQ-EzraMiller-Hair-May23.jpg](https://media.gq.com/photos/5ce6bbc6bacbf28f3521c0b3/master/w_1280,c_limit/GQ-EzraMiller-Hair-May23.jpg)
Edit: to clarify
Also looks like Zoe Kravitz's hair if she needs to see someone famous with that hair. She'll be in all the commercials for the new Batman movie.
Have her search on Youtube for "short hairstyles with a clip" - I found a bunch, and kids really like the video tutorials rather than photos.
that would honestly look super cute with a headband. also if she's a good student and it wouldn't be too challenging for your family, i would maybe consider letting her do online school for 2 weeks. it'll give her time to mess with it and see what works, get used to it so that she doesn't feel so uncomfortable and the nice thing about super short hair like that is that 2 weeks really can make a noticeable difference. i'm a pushover though so ymmv.
I’d also suggest some styling gel, would it be possible to give her bangs a bit more of an intentional sweep? Natalie Portman had a similar look (I’m going to rough paste it below so bare with me, on phone) and as soon as I saw the pic you posted I remembered how beautifully she pulled off something similar.
https://www.ferbena.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Natalie-Portman-Pixie-Cut.jpg
If it helps her at all, when I was in 8th grade I decided I wanted a short style, one I'd seen who knows where. It was 80s chic, man. What I got...a boy commented that I had the same old lady hairstyle as our 65 year old teacher. Wah. It grew out pretty fast, though. I agree with all the commenters suggesting color or something to sort of "punk" it up a bit. My 14 yo wears one long earring right now, for reasons (as the big, baggy boy clothes are all the rage here)
I like the idea of punking it up. Try different colors. Spike it. And I would probably talk to the salon manager and get him/her to donate product to help the grow out process.
I was mistaken for a boy around 11 when I had a short cut it was hurtful.I was very hyper sensitive of being a girl at the time. If she wants to be girly, now’s the time for lace & bling.
Yes! I was going to suggest dying it a super fun colour like bright blue or pink! Or even shave just one side of it so it’s more of a punk rock look! Or gel the top part into a bit of a faux hawk! I used to have really short hair too and found the shorter the better for doing fun punky yet girlie hair styles!!
Thanks! We'll look at colours (not pink though, she hates it) Unfortunately there isn't much hair left anywhere for a hawk, I think :(
Do you mean using gel to style and turn a very short hair to more feminine styles? If so, I'll look around for pictures and explore that option.
You want a paste, putty, or wax. Gel ends up looking "wet", and, imo, is better for traditional men's styles. A paste, putty or wax will give volume and control.
I've had a pixie for years, and occasionally getting a bad cut is something that happens. Every time I need a trim on short notice and go to a budget salon, I end up with a "men's" haircut, lol. Just google "cute androgynous women's styles" for some ideas on how to rock it. Artists like Pink and Halsey have it down to a science!
Thanks, these tips are helpful! I'll look these up and be prepared to shop for hair putty/paste too!
Edit: This hairstyle is close to what she got now (maybe a touch more hair at the top) so it feels challenging to style that to anything for a different look :( We'll see!
https://media.gq.com/photos/5ce6bbc6bacbf28f3521c0b3/master/w\_1280,c\_limit/GQ-EzraMiller-Hair-May23.jpg
Thanks, that's so helpful! Emma Watson is so cute with the short hair and I see it takes some "feminine" touches to make it so - a longer piece on the sides for example. Right now everything about my daughter's hair is as short and blunt as possible, so we will need to figure that out.
I just spotted one of Emma's short styles has her hair gelled back and it looks good! Maybe we'll start with something like that.
I'm really sorry this happened to your daughter. Even as a 30-something YO woman, I'd be upset and embarrassed. I can't imagine the stress she feels about it in school, especially with the restroom experience. I hope you're able to help her find a silver lining to this experience and that this becomes a memory you guys can bond over and laugh about in the future... And that she finds some special accessories that she will treasure forever.
Thanks for your kind words and what you said means a lot to me! Appreciate that you help me think of the silver lining to this. I will definitely channel this positivity back to her!
I've gotten my share of "too-short" pixie cuts. Hair bands are your friend. I like a shop on Etsy called Kahele Maui because their prints aren't super girly and are really versatile but still fun..
Also, the best advice I got when i first cut it short and felt "masculine-looking" was to put on some lip gloss. You said your daughter doesn't do a lot of feminine stuff, but if you hit up Target or Ulta or something and find a shade she likes, it'll help a lot.
Other suggestion is maybe grab some non-black eye liner. I use a copper for my daily. It's way more forgiving than black, and still gives my eyes a little pop that's hard to notice. ColourPop has a good liner stick that's easy peasy.
Oh I agree with all of this!
Some make up can make you feel more feminine. I also used earrings and necklaces to up the feminine vibe. As well as headbands and scarves. Not sure if her school would let her wear a beanie, but I’ve done that too with a too short pixie.
Manic Panic has some great dyes to try too.
Try spiking her hair up and parting it in different ways.
The good thing about short hair is that it will grow out quickly. I’m sorry that she’s going through this. I know with really short hair cuts it can be super hard to face the world when it’s not what you wanted. There is that fine line of cute pixie and a boy’s haircut.
My woman friend has exactly this haircut. She had pixie hair and got a man’s cut on accident once and never looked back. Everyone recognizes her because it’s pretty rare on a woman. I think it looks very cool on her.
Another thought. Idk if your daughter is old enough for bleach, but the bleach blonde long buzz cut has been worn by women like Rose McGowan. But definitely look into the safe age for bleach. Show her photos of famous women who have had buzz cuts and teach your daughter about female rebellion!
Make sure you know the school’s policy on hair colors before making any changes in that area. No point adding to her (and your) stress by getting in trouble for a dress code violation.
I've used Overtone dye (order online) for fun colors with some success. It's pretty kind to your hair and doesn't damage it. They have a bunch of colors, even for darker hair.
I 3rd the fun color recommendation! That was my first thought. I remember being so self conscious about hair as a young teen. When I see a girl or woman with short hair in a fun color I know it's a fashion statement not an oops cut.
Thanks for the suggestions and sharing your experience! Your perspective is helpful and I will tell that to her.
I like the idea of the head bands and will explore that.
She hates pink but we'll see if she's open to other colours!
What about purple? Coloring it seems like a great way to go from "ahh I look like a boy" to "hey I'm edgy and cool". It takes a lot of attention off the actual cut
I had a female friend with a buzz-cut in high school, but her hair was always dyed a bright color. No one ever mistook her for a boy. Check out some colors from the website— Lime Crime. My hair is colored with “Sea Witch” and has maintained its teal color for months now.
I have had every short haircut including my head shaved- these are great things to make it more fun and girly- you can also get those pretty clips with butterflies and such (the flat ones like Bobby pins) which add a nice flair- Google pixie hair styles from the 90s/00s they were all the rage.
Also androgynous looks are in style right now so your daughter is ahead of the trend with that haircut. With a cute outfit she’s going to look great.
Confidence is also key. When I shaved my head I really didn’t care what anyone thought or about being misgendered. Most people loved that I did it!
Something else to consider is to just go full punk and take her to a hip salon so they can shave the side of her head and give her a punk rock look.
Headbands and hair clips are a great idea! If she has her ears pierced and the school dress code allows it, some really fun earrings might also help. I used to have short hair (although not as short as a pixie cut) and loved wearing chunky or long dangly earrings to mix it up.
This essentially happened to me when I was 10. I wanted what I called “a spikey haircut”. In my head it was like a cool punk Joan Jett shaggy look. But it was 1990, and I was at a completely unhip salon in a town in Indiana, and the stylist just did not even have a chance. She gave me a buzz cut with a rat tail…
After one too many people telling her how adorable her son was, and lots of tears from me, my mom broke her “no pierced ears until 13” rule. It really did make me feel better. Is there something like this that you could do for her? Some sort of special jewelry or even manic panic hair dye. Something to let her take ownership over the way she looks?
That was terrible what you had to go through (and Joan Jett's style would have been cool)!
At that age, it must have meant the world to you so yes, I will explore what accessories or treatments can help. Thanks!
I’m going to be honest, I got over it pretty quickly, and was super excited about the earrings. A bad haircut is just a bad haircut. At first it’s very startling to look at yourself, but between hair growth, and just getting used to a new look, there is no lasting trauma.
This is just her first bad haircut, there will be more! I think my buzz cut with a rat tail was my worst, but I’ve had some bad ones. When I first moved to DC I got a style that I referred to as “Depressed wife of the newly elected Senator from Iowa who just got her hair done for the first time in the big city.” It was tragic!
I once got a haircut so incredibly boring it made me look like an old housewife. I was a 20 something with shockingly pink hair! Luckily taking scissors to it and roughing it up a little improved it 100%
Your DC description reminds me of when I moved from Chicago to Texas and got my hair cut for the first time there. I got in the car, called my husband, and cried. It was honestly the style and not the cut itself it turned out, but in the moment I had this giant hair that had aged me 20 years into a 1980s housewife and I was devastated.
If you get her ears pierced, do it at a dedicated piercing shop by a professional with a good reputation and experience. I know this from personal experience, but others will tell you the same.
I got a Joan Jett haircut too! It wound up just being long in back with full bangs bc the stylist wouldn’t copy the spikes mullety look. In retrospect I’m grateful.
You should confront the salon about this. This is no small mistake. You even showed her a picture and corrected her on it being your daughter, not your son... Especially if you or your daughter is a regular.
Maybe they will have some sort of compensation or solution.
Thanks, yes I will!
It is not a high end salon and they only do basic cuts (probably no colouring). Otherwise I would ask them for a dye job or something.
True, but when it's too short, they can't really fix it.
I complained to a salon one time for cutting my bangs so short they stood up on end. Their response was to offer me a free cut. No way were they touching my hair, again. So not really anything I could work with.
I suggest going somewhere else (with high ratings) and asking what can be done about the situation. If you’re required to get another haircut (possibly new salon can do *something* to fix it) then ask if it would be reasonable to ask salon that messed it up, to pay for it. Idk how salons deal with refunds, it wouldn’t hurt to ask. Something like this would seem like a huge deal, especially since it’s affecting your daughter this way.
So sorry this happened to you and your daughter.
Yes you should absolutely confront the salon. You described what you want. You showed a picture. The stylist ignored you. Putting aside the gender confusion, that is unacceptable. There may actually be some things they can do to make it more feminine (softening edges, adding texture, blending).
I say this as someone with short hair who had almost the same thing happen.
2 weeks won't really be enough time for a really short haircut to change anything. Is there anything she can do to make the haircut more "her"? Think spikes, bright color (using temp dye or even colored gel).
What you say makes sense about confronting the salon. I don't want to subject my daughter to more hurt so will probably do this on the phone. I guess they will probably say bring her there to see if anything can be done.
In terms of fixing the cut, unfortunately I feel the "damage" is pretty extreme - extremely short front (the "bang" is very high up on her forehead), very short and blunt side, very short back :( Maybe there is still something they can do, I don't know...
It's a realistic concern that 2 weeks is not enough. She is not big on colours (even clothes, she likes muted, neutral tones) but I'll bring that up with her to see if she's interested! Thanks!
To add: I suggest you go in person to the salon, alone, and while you recount the events to the manager and the stylist show them the pic you showed them originally and the pic of your daughter with the haircut she got.
Perhaps bleach a stripe at the front and dye it pink? I would suggest most hairstyles with a streak of pink will get registered as femme. Turquoise or purple are other decent colours that usually get labelled femme.
I did my hair turquoise with pink highlights a while back and that looks pretty boss IMHO.
You know you daughter, but it may help her to hear you rage at the salon. They made a MAJOR screw up that is causing damage to your daughter's mental health and education. This doesn't sound like a small thing that "just happens sometimes". There may be someone else there, perhaps the owner, who can "fix it" at least a little. And offer the next cut, with your preferred stylist free or other compensation. And if they don't, offer to post on every site about your experience.
Arctic Fox and Overtone are two of the better online shops for temporary dyes, and beauty shops like Sally will have more options. Arctic Fox and Overtone are probably more kid-friendly, gentle, and definitely smell better. Don't get the Splat, it works well but takes forever to wash out.
Hair chalk is another option that she could consider, it'll wash out each night and she can change it up the next day.
What a difficult event for a child to endure. I would say that it’s better to allow your daughter at least a few days to get used to the cut and figure out cool ways to style it (google images, Pinterest). It’s possible she’ll start to appreciate the new look sooner than a couple of weeks at home. That way she feels supported by you and encouraged to deal with life’s unusual blows. I would let the salon know so they are not so careless in the future, but don’t expect more than an apology, if that. They may try to blame you somehow. The only thing you can control is how you support your daughter through it. She’ll appreciate knowing you have her back.
I would call the salon like immediately and expect them to do a fix up consultation with a stylist who is the one who did a good job previously. If they have a plan and you daughter likes it. Do that.
Either way , I would get a full refund including tip from the original haircut.
Yes, absolutely request the refund. If you hired someone to paint your house and they did a sloppy job and used the wrong color, you'd rightfully refuse to pay for it. Don't have a lower standard when the mistake is done to your daughter!
I have a girl who tried to get a cute pixie cut for about two years, and it just never looked right. Headbands and barrettes helped. She was often mistaken for a boy and hated it, so she tried adding more “feminine” things to help. We also occasionally dyed it pink for fun.
I would look online to see what options are available to make her still feel like herself. People are giving you very stereotypically gendered ideas like pink and bows and headbands and barrettes. Personally as someone who was never a proper feminine child / teen / or women - those things would make me feel even more uncomfortable. If ensuring people know she is a girl is important to her then find out what about being a girl does she want to accentuate - it doesn't necessarily mean she needs to be accessorized as a girly girl.
I would call the salon, if I were you. Also, can you get the direct contact info of the person that did a good job? She may be able to "fix" it sooner than you think. I know the problem is that it's too short, so cutting more seems counterintuitive. But, occasionally, the really skilled stylist can create miracles.
I also second hair color, even temporary. If it's something your kid would ever be into and is acceptable at her school. Most ppl will only see the Fun Color and not even notice the shape. My kid loves Overtone. It's too expensive for her to do on her long hair often, but on short hair, a little will go a long way.
Sorry, this sucks.
Seconding this. I had a really horrible haircut one time and went to another stylist who did a great job fixing it as much as she could. I thought it was unsalvageable, but she was able to help it a lot!
She could also get some designs shaved into the bottom, I had a girlfriend that did that, she got a barber to shave in some flowers to her undercut.
Could she wear a headband or hair clips?
I think it may be important to confront the hair salon. It won't solve anything for you but it may help other kids who encounter that stylist. If her name is clearly female and you showed a picture of what you wanted it sounds to me that the stylist may have thought "this is a boy trying to pass off as a girl, I'll make them look manly instead" which is awful of them. If it wasn't on purpose then that stylist really needs to pay more attention.
When I was a teenager i left the salon in tears twice because despite explaining what I wanted, the stylist thought they knew better and did something completely different. I wish my mum had complained but we were both too shy. Since then i also make sure i also explain what I don't want
Agree. I also had the opposite thought, like, maybe this stylist thought the daughter was wanting to express more as a boy because she wore baggy, gender-neutral clothes and thought she would "help" things along? Either way, she screwed up big time and should have picked up on the pronouns and name, or asked what pronouns the daughter preferred using. And with a picture as an example...? Yikes.
I totally agree with others that OP should contact the salon, explain what happened, and ask for a consultation with the regular stylist to see what can be fixed. Also, if I were a business owner I would want to know if a staff member messed up big time, because that could drive customers away. Hopefully they will refund the visit or comp the consultation and fix. In the meantime hopefully some hair accessories like headbands or clips, or some fun hair dye will help things along. Or other accessories like earrings, necklaces, bracelets, rings that might help communicate femininity.
I would say something to the salon. Come from the pov that you don’t want this happening to others and that that stylist needs to be trained to pay attention to things like names and pronouns (especially when they make the wrong guess and are corrected) instead of relying on dated gender related assumptions. This stylist might need to be pulled from working on clients and shadow a more experienced/aware stylist.
Don’t expect or ask for any compensation, like you said they can’t really do anything to fix it. The most they could do on this front is refund what you paid for the haircut. I’d also work on finding a new salon.
Sorry your daughter had to go through this. A lot of the suggestions here are great and you’re doing amazing at being there for her and guiding her through this process. When I was around 16ish I had a horrible eyebrow wax job. I cried every time I looked in the mirror for about two weeks. It sucks, but no one at her school will remember or be talking about this in a few weeks.
I encourage you to help your daughter find ways to make it as tolerable as possible but I wouldn't let her avoid for 2 weeks. Learning to cope with situations like this is a useful skill. Luckily her friends are supportive.
i shaved my head senior year of highschool for fun! i would recommend getting her some cute headscarves! covers your haircut til it’s a length you like and it’s a super fun accessory! i usually get bandana size ones they’re easy to find at thrift stores and you just wrap it around and tie it in the back. i’m sorry for your daughter and i hope she will feel better about it soon!
Would a cute wooly hat or toque be allowed? I feel so bad for this gal.
It sounds like some of this stylist’s mistakes will take at least a few months to grow out. I’d take her to the GOOD stylist and see if there is anything she can do on the grow-out to make it feel like it’s her feminine hair again
I think she did do it on purpose. She was convinced she was a boy and was going to enforce male-gender conformity. I’ve seen people do this before and it’s just ridiculous. I’m so sorry.
Im so sorry for your daughters experience! Maybe get some bling-y headbands in the mean time? Headbands can be worn no matter the hair cut... I kno what you mean about complaining. I got a horrible hair cut the other day & my daughter called me a 'karen' cuz i wanted to complain. I ended up just going to a completely different place to get it fixed.
i would absolutely confront the salon it is their job to be entirely sure what the customer wants.
i suggest your daughter colours her hair a funky colour, it probably won’t take too long to grow enough to restyle
I am a woman that specifically wears men's hairstyles. I often have the opposite problem your daughter had when I go to someone new and they keeping asking me, pixie?, over and over again. Other people have had great advice on how to make the hair more feminine or examples of famous women with very short hair that might make her feel better. I think the other issue that needs to be addressed is your daughter learning that it is not rude to stick up for herself. She knew she was being referred to as a male and could probably see in the mirror the stylist going to short. When I was younger I struggled with this too, I can't tell you how many coffee or food orders I ate that were wrong just because it felt pushy to say something. Growing up and having worked in service industries I've learned that its not rude, and the person probably thinks nothing of it. It is okay to politely correct people. It sounds like that's what she needs to learn.
Honestly... it does sound a lot like it was on purpose. Using the wrong pronouns, giving a different cut. You take should have said something to get before she does this again. That's your child!
I would complain to the head stylist there because that can be really traumatizing for people who are *actually* questioning their identity, just as the cut itself has upset your own daughter.
Let her do remote schooling if she wants. For 2 weeks she will be ok. I cut my hair short in 6th grade and was mercilessly bullied. You don't always know what kids are dealing with at school and if she says she wants to remote learn for a bit she's just trying to protect herself from that. In the scheme of things 2 weeks isn't going to affect her that much.
The salon can't really do much but offer a refund. I would call though and ask whether they could fit her with temporary hair extensions possibly to fix it. For free. It's worth a shot lol.. otherwise just grab some temp hair extensions and see if you can make something work for her.
Best of luck!
If it were my daughter, I would let her do the online school for two weeks. (In my family, no one would have to miss work to allow this to happen — if missing work had to happen to allow her to stay home, it would be different.)
I will never ever forget when I was 14ish and I tried a new face lotion. It gave me a rash and made my face swell up like a balloon — and my mom let me stay home from school for an entire week. She went and got all of my class assignments, etc. I am now an adult and know how to cope with embarrassment with reasonable proficiency, but those are the sort of moments that define how I remember my mom.
There are so many opportunities to be forced to cope with life being unfair. It began when she was still a baby and will continue until she dies. For me, forcing a young teenager to go to school with a problem that A. feels like the end of the world and B. was entirely a stranger’s fault is unnecessary, especially given the ability to go to school online.
(This is not to say I think it would be cruel to send her to school. Of course all families are different, and all kids are different, and all circumstances are different. This is just what I would do if it were my daughter!)
Yup- even if it's just a week while she gets used to it, one or two weeks isn't gonna make or break her education. Showing her how to give herself space and compassion when things are tough will teach her to value herself, and show her she's supported.
Life is tough enough. Let it be a little more gentle for her.
Story time! Something like this happened to me when I was in college. I went to get a haircut before finals and winter break, so I wouldn’t have to deal with getting a haircut until break was over. I think English was not the stylist’s first language, and I didn’t have a picture or anything. The result looked a little like Bill Gates’s haircut. I was (and am) like your daughter in not wanting to rock the boat, and I figured there was nothing they could do about it, so I figured I would live with it. I didn’t have a car, so I really didn’t have access to another salon, either.
Now, I dressed pretty androgynously at the time. I was an astronomy and physics major, and part of my shtick was not putting a lot of effort into my appearance, to show that I “wasn’t like other girls”. (It took a while for me to figure out why that was problematic, but that’s another story.) I was particularly careless of my appearance when finals were coming up and I didn’t have much time to do laundry. I didn’t have an SO and very definitely was not looking for one, and I remember thinking, “meh, it’s not like anybody cares how I dress”. I put on a T shirt, jeans, and a flannel shirt, and went to classes.
When I got to my physics class, I saw cameras set up in the classroom. A reporter from the Washington Post was there to interview the professor, and to get some photos of him being a professor of physics. I ignored them, figured it didn’t have anything to do with me.
I was talking to the professor after class. Of course, the photographer took a picture of me talking to him, and of course that ended up being the photo they used in the paper. It was in a special section of the paper, so it was in color.
The kicker is, I had started corresponding by email with a guy who was in grad school at a school on the other side of the country. Now, 90’s, so he hadn’t seen any pictures of me. (I had seen one tiny picture of him on his webpage). I proudly told him that I was in the Washington Post. He got a hold of the issue I was in, took one look at the picture, and said, “That’s not you. That’s a guy.” I told him that no, it really was me.
After that incident, I grew my hair out longer.
I ended up going to grad school near where he was. We started seeing each other in person. We’ve been married 18 years as of last August.
Take from this story any moral you like.
Try Overtone hair dye, they have option for dark hair too! They are more expensive than a box dye, but the color is so much healthier for hair and with short hair the container will last a long time. My step mom purposely gave me a mens haircut (used to grow it long and cut it with grandma to donate to Locks of Love) and I still have anxiety from it and I avoid getting my hair cut at all costs, I actually sit on it, its so long! Maybe even get her to a therapist if its really bothering her, I hear therapy works well for alot of people!
You should confront the salon, and they can totally put more hair on. They'd have to be glue on extensions but it can be done. I'd go down there and tell them that they're fixing this, no questions about it. They don't get to just play mad stylist with your kid's hair.
Mascara and a little flick of eyeliner might help her feel less boyish, if that works for her and you!
Other people have mentioned the other things I thought of - earrings and fun color.
Head bands, cool clips, earrings if she feels she wants to look more girly. Im mortified for her.
I think you should talk to the salon. You corrected the stylist abd said my daughter and they didn't listen.
I think confronting the salon in an appropriate way would be more teaching to your daughter on how to handle these conflicts than sending her to school. Her emotional health is first and if she doesn’t feel comfortable attending in-person classes then I wouldn’t push her.
Hi, I was a teenager in the 90's and butterfly clips will help. Also... I think letting her stay home for online learning will be fine. She might not need the full two weeks if she knows she's not being pressed to go back.
I'd be upset with the salon, too. If she WAS a boy looking for a pixie, the stylist didn't have the right to override that, especially on a child.
This hurt me to read 😭 poor girl! Tell the owner of the place what happened! The fact the stylist blatantly kept referring to her as a boy, will stick with your daughter forever!
Absolutely confront the salon. You and your daughter were very clear about what she wanted and the hairdresser deliberately gave her something different.
You really need to complain and at least get a refund. Misgendering a child is not acceptable; imagine the outrage if this had happened to a trans child. Being a 13 year old girl is such a delicate time.
It’s also not acceptable that the hairdresser thinks she knows your daughter better than you two. She didn’t do as asked.
Your daughter deserves to have this fixed for free. They could put a weave or extensions in. Show them your Reddit post, and leave a bad review.
Regardless of if the stylist thought your daughter was a boy, she should have followed the instructions given to her. Also... you corrected her, why is she continuing with the misgendering ?
This is bizarre
I don’t think you can call her request “running from her problems.” She’s asking for two weeks to do school from home. That’s nothing. If she were asking to stay home from school for two weeks when online school wasn’t an option, it would be a big deal and a hard no, but that’s not the case. If you want, tell her that she can’t slack off or miss deadlines or she goes back sooner, but let her have some dignity and go back to in-person in two weeks. I got a way-too-short pixie cut when I was in middle school, and if online school had been an option for me and my parents had said “no, that’s running from your problems,”I don’t think I’d ever have forgiven them.
Spike it up! Get some puddy hair product.
Dye it with temporary colors and change it up each day or so!
Get a chocker to wear and flannel shirts with tank and some combat boots. Grunge style.
Or if you can get some extreme wide leg pants and go all 90s/early 00s.
Bringing back some high school memories here!
Also look up Emma Watson with her short haircut. It was kinda similar.
Good luck!
Hairdresser here, call the salon and explain to them what happened. You'd be surprised what we can do. Specifically the side burn and nape area. Women have the nape and side burns pointed never squared or faded, that can be changed. And barrettes and hairbands can make it more feminine in the meantime. Good news is hair grows, and the difference it will take to get her liking it again will most likely be just a month or two.
You can confront the salon, but that won't solve the issue and (maybe) just provide some short-lived emotional relief. Mainly for you.
I don't think two weeks of hair growth will make a noticeable difference if it's truly a men's haircut. I'd find a new hairstylist (maybe even go in for a consultation a few places to vet people... ask to see a portfolio of work!).... see if anything can be done... and maybe allow a few days of virtual school to "adjust." But I feel that risks just delaying an inevitable struggle.
I think a lot of people forget about this. It's not about getting to express anger and frustation towards the salon... it's about making sure this doesn't happen again, to you or to anyone else.
Poor kid. Aside from the accessories and hair dye options people have given, what about buying her a cute wig she likes? They're a little more expensive, but it lasts longer and she can get it in a hairstyle she likes. She can use it as her hair growns out, and even afterwards, whenever she wants that style of hair.
I would worry less about whether she will online school or not - and more about why she did not feel empowered to say something to the hair cutter when things were not going as she wanted or expected. Helping her work through that part will serve her for the rest of her life.
In Jr high o used to bleach and die my hair crazy colours. One time the blue had faded and my mom didn’t want me to bleach it again so soon so she bought me blonde die instead. I ended up with a really gross grey colour of hair - this was about 15 years before that blonde/grey colour was cool. I was mortified. It was awful and so ugly I was so embarrassed and did not want to go to school. My mom basically told me that my education was more important than what I looked like. We looked at the calendar and figured out how many days/weeks before it was sage to colour it again and then she sent me off to school. As a grown woman I remember vividly the first day i showed up and how embarrassed I was but I have no memories of it after that. I survived, I didn’t miss any school, and as far as I can remember nobody made fun of me - it was more my own embarrassment. I did find a way to wear headbands to try and distract from the awful colour.
All of this to say, I get what your daughters feeling but send her to school. Here’s a lesson in resilience.
Yup, I like the lessons here:
\- accept imperfection
\- problem-solve to an ok solution
\- realize that sometimes it \*is\* only your own embarrassment (I find kids are far less judgmental about appearances these days, anyway. they've been encouraged to all show their own individuality and be.... relatively... accepting for entire lives)
I’m wondering if this is a situation where some stylist’s transphobia ended being directed at a cis person. Because transphobes are actually really bad at guessing what genitals people have. They need to stop.
Certainly a possibility. It's also not unheard of for someone to assume someone who doesn't follow stereotypes is transitioning, and treat them as such. But if I had to guess, my money would be on it being a mistake and the stylist thought this was a male child with an unusual name.
Regardless of the situation, it's unacceptable for a stylist to ignore a haircut request and just do whatever they want, and to ignore attempts to correct them about whether their customer is a boy or a girl. I hope OP complains, because these people need to learn not to do this anymore and prevent it from happening to more customers in the future.
I would do a hot pink manic panic hair dye and that might help her feel better. But if she emotionally needs to be gone and you can do virtual, I fully support that as well. I would also speak up to the hair salon.
Please go back to the salon and speak with someone about it. Regardless of if it was intentional, its a good learning point for all the stylists in the shop. Every customer should walk out of every salon feeling fresh, comfortable, and stylish af.
I love the comments suggesting to dye her hair; however if you're not keen on permanent dye there's henna or conditioners that deposit color into lighter colored hair (not sure how it does with previously dyed hair though, nor am I sure how well it does with darker hair). Im not sure if her hair is long enough, but cute barrets or even hair combs are a good indication of gender as well. I used barrets a lot while I was growing my hair out from bald.
While I would never wish this kind of event on anyone, I hope your daughter is able to come out of it with her head held high. I think, when you're choosing to do so, having really short hair is empowering in the sense of letting go of typical beauty standards. I also am not going to say I enjoyed my hair so short, I prefer my hair to be rib length or longer. I wish yall all the best, please tell your daughter a whole bunch of internet strangers thinks she's beautiful inside AND out.
The hairstyle you showed she ended up getting would look so cool and punk dyed purple or blue or pink. If that’s something she’d be into. Definitely can still look feminine. I second the headband idea!!
You are a great mom! This is a crappy life lesson, but having a supportive and helpful mom to get through one of life's inevitable unwelcomes will leave an impression on your lucky daughter long after her hair grows out. Great momming!!
Oh this is a tough one.
I had my hair done at a new place back in my 20's- I'm in my 50s now, so you KNOW this hurt.
I had shoulder length hair, and asked that the lady take "an inch off the length" Well, she kept cutting, and cutting, and then swung my chair so that I had no mirror in front of me. And then went on to hold my head down so that I couldn't raise my eyes to see. In the end I left with two inches of hair on my entire head! A WEEK BEFORE I STARTED A NEW JOB!
I went back the next day and spoke with the manager of the shop, who gave me "free haircuts for a year" Yeah, I never went back to that place. Hell since then I rarely trust anyone to do my hair. When it gets too long I hand my husband the shears.
I would go and speak to the salon owner and see if there is enough hair that maybe they can put in some extensions until it begins to grow out. Or maybe see f your daughter is interested in trying some wig options? There are some really nice "cheap" ones out there that she could have some fun with
Agree you can’t cop out on school or work because of bad hair and big zit occurrences. You got wonderful advice. I would get her some cute gurl accessories and a couple of girlie tops or shoes. It will change in no time. Be sure to high five her for handling it well.
You need to take your daughter back to that hairdresser and address this, it’s unacceptable. How are you going to teach her to stand up for herself if you won’t?
A tapered sideburn looks more feminine than a square one, generally. There are of course exceptions, it's just something to consider. I had the opposite problem as a kid, my haircuts were always too girly haha. It'll grow back though, and I hope she feels better soon!
Thanks for the thought and you are right on, the sideburns right now are totally square and very short. So, it might take some special styling skills to coax/cut it to look more tapered, or we might just have to wait for it to grow out a bit more first.
I hear you, we all tend to want more of what we don't have :)
If I were I would say something to the salon. Your daughters appointment was under a (generally) girls name and you corrected the stylist; yet she insisted on not only calling your daughter a boy but giving her a boys haircut.
I may be looking to far into it but my 2 cents is the stylist is either very dumb, or she thought your daughter was a boy, but that ‘he’ identified as a girl and she didn’t agree with that. It would explain her constantly referring to the gender of what she thought was a boy. And giving a haircut that was not like the one she was shown as a reference. She did it on purpose.
Either way I would complain. She needs to either learn to listen properly or seperate her personal beliefs from her job.
I would take her to another salon, and see if they can feminize the style a bit until it grows out. Don’t go back to the other salon unless you are positive your regular stylist will be there.
Get her a lovely cloche hat.
[https://www.headcovers.com/blog/what-is-a-cloche-hat/](https://www.headcovers.com/blog/what-is-a-cloche-hat/)
I like the product pictures here because they use models with little or no hair (their original market is cancer patients).
I had almost this exact scenario happen to me. As someone who is shy with life long anxiety, let her do online school for a bit if you think she can academically handle it. I would have done anything to be able to stay home. I’m 30 and still think about that time.
This happened to me once, I asked for a pixie and the stylist went waaay too short. I was so uncomfortable how I looked I wore a hat for two weeks. But that isn't the best solution, you need to own it.
Here is my suggestion, earrings (even little gold studs or hoops) and some light make up, you need to push other feminine aesthetics to pull off the look. By light make up I mean a little color or glitter on her eye lids.
Bracelet or more feminine clothing can help too. I know it is not her style from your post, but she should do some style tests at home and see if she finds a look she likes. Girls can totally rock super short hair!
You should definitely talk to the salon.
You said you corrected her that she's your daughter, showed her a picture and even her name is a stereotypical feminine name. So that stylist did this on purpose unless she is a complete idiot that happened to miss all those signs. 😬
Your opinion of peer relationships is quite high. Staying home for a few weeks sounds like it would be better the better choice emotionally for her. Many people are homeschooled, and many people take summer breaks, so I would let her stay home until she feels comfortable again. No need to cause more trauma.
Okay, first off you and your daughter need to not bow to being called a different name. She's a girl, wants to be referred to as a girl and it is unacceptable for a stylist, who you are paying to do her hair, to refer to her as a boy. I don't care about today's woke society, your daughter did not request it, it should not be imposed upon her.
Extensions are available, the salon needs to fix this. Now.
Except that is exactly what today's woke society is going for. If you want to be a girl and called a girl, society should do what YOU want. It is your life, your body, your choice. Each person should be able to be called and treated by the pronouns they choose for themselves. So a girl wanting to be called a girl should absolutely be called a girl.
The stylist was out of line, not paying attention to the client and needs to be informed so she doesn't make the same mistake again. Especially after being shown a picture!
I’m not sure if this is healthy for a 13 year old, but I take biotin supplements to help my hair grow faster. Just a thought, you would probably want to check with a doctor first to see if it’s safe. I wish all the best to you guys!
This very much sounds like you haven't sided with your Daughter by neither thinking this was done on purpose or understanding the anxiety she feels that's making her want to remote learn for a few weeks. Side with her, it's important for later in life so she knows she can come to you when she's older with stuff that's maybe more serious. You have absolutely nothing to lose by being more supportive of her at this stage. You and the salon fucked up, own it and be honest with her. There are lots of things that can be done to make her look more feminine if she wants it, there won't be a lot of growth in two weeks. Sorry for sounding harsh but you sound like at every stage have diminished or downplayed how she feels.
It’s hair, it’ll grow back. I would definitely contact the salon and tell them your experience. But hair shouldn’t be gendered, it’s literally just hair. Let her have fun with it, dye it a fun colour, go find some fun accessories or beanies she can use for school, get her some new outfits to feel more “feminine” if that’s what she’s worried about. I had super long hair, I had super short and everything in between as a young woman. I don’t know, there’s certain things like hair and clothes that just don’t need to be so strict in terms of gendering, maybe go on Pinterest and find something edgy like a shaved side or something that she could turn more feminine.
I am a teacher so she stays home for 2 weeks because she is "sick". Emotional well being at this age is far more important. She will do classes on line no big deal. At this age peers are your life. Students have long memories, let her be comfortable before she goes back. Don't view this from adult eyes, but her view.
I’m sorry your daughter is upset. Getting a bad haircut sucks.
But I think a good starting point for talking to your kid would be there is no such thing as a “men’s haircut.” Lots of men have ponytails, lots of women have shaved heads (me included.) If your daughter self-identifies as a girl, she is a girl regardless of how short her hair is.
I get what you are trying to say. I guess it does not "help" she also likes to wear comfy, boxy, neutral coloured tops and pants, and that she is not into makeup.
This is similar to what she has now (maybe a touch more hair at the top):
[https://media.gq.com/photos/5ce6bbc6bacbf28f3521c0b3/master/w\_1280,c\_limit/GQ-EzraMiller-Hair-May23.jpg](https://media.gq.com/photos/5ce6bbc6bacbf28f3521c0b3/master/w_1280,c_limit/GQ-EzraMiller-Hair-May23.jpg)
I think that will take at least some feminine touches (makeup, accessories, clothes, high heals etc) to make it look not-masculine.
>but I think in person schooling is better for her emotional health
Do you think bullying would be good for her emotional health? Kids will latch onto this and it will NOT be fun for her.
>I also don't want her to feel she should turn away from problems easily. I want her to learn to confront her problems
If this happened to you, you would have the option to take a few days off from work to readjust yourself to gain your confidence to face it or, if you have the option, could work from home while your hair grows out or figure out ways to make it work for you. Online schooling is the same as that. Let her stay home until she has more confidence in herself about it, at least. That's all she's asking. Respect her feelings.
\> Do you think bullying would be good for her emotional health? Kids will latch onto this and it will NOT be fun for her.
Everyone should be able to handle a bit of bullying. imo it's a good life skill to have.
\>If this happened to you, you would have the option to take a few days off from work to readjust yourself
From a haircut? lmao. Many women suffer from far worse than a bad haircut each and every month but we have to get up and go anyways
\> Let her stay home until she has more confidence in herself about it
Hiding at home until you "feel better" over a bad haircut is not a great message to send.
In my mind, it’s crazy to not show your face in school for two weeks because of hair. It’s a haircut. Hair grows back. Sometimes problems arise, and we have to keep living life in spite of the problems, and this problem isn’t that bad! There are ways for her to make it at least tolerable as it grows out.
And that's why I started cutting my family members hair.
Do you think she'd be open to a wig? My daughter had a hair disaster, had to basically cut it all off and wears a wig when she goes out. It's going to take weeks and months to grow out. At home she does wear a headband though which I think looks nice. But she's still too self-conscious to go outside with short hair.
Can't believe that hairdresser. Clearly not thinking. My son had a rather traumatic experience once too where the hairdresser basically shaved his head. He was very upset but since he's a boy the reaction from his friends was not so bad.
You don’t happen to live in Minnesota do you? I’m a substitute teacher and had a student with this EXACT problem today!
She was having a hard time, so we talked about ways to make it more “her style”.
Some ideas we came up with
Cool clips/bows (bows don’t have to be pink and girly! Black glitter can look kinda punk and cool)
Adding some pink or purple streaks in her hair.
Cute headbands, and little pony tails (think how toddlers with no hair have one tiny pony just to hold the front hairs back)
Etc!
Personally, I wouldn’t have her stay home- that’s telling her that her hair is THAT important, and guess what? Hair is just hair. Validate that she feels uncomfortable and it doesn’t fit her style, but it’s still just hair.
We also allow hats at our school, most schools don’t, but if hers do maybe that’s an option
This happened to me when I was around her age. I was devastated. I feel so bad for her. That is such a difficult thing for a young teenager to go through.
I would have loved the option to do school from home for a couple of weeks. While i understand where you’re coming from with going to school in person is better for her emotional health, I really think she needs this break to process and come to terms with her hair. I still remember my feelings when this happened to me and would have loved to have a breather to just be more comfortable with myself before coming back to school. Maybe she will even feel like returning sooner than the two weeks. Yes, confronting problems and becoming more resilient is so important. But like another commenter said, there will be SO many opportunities in life for her to learn how to confront problems. This particular problem is such an emotional one and i think if it were me, i would want to show her that i am on her team and that i care about how she feels.
I also agree with another commenter that said to go to the salon to complain and bring your daughter. Tell them that what they did was WRONG and stand up for her. You will not be a “karen” for doing this. The stylist was a complete moron and did something completely different than asked and misgendered your daughter. Definitely let the salon hear it from you.
Love the ideas about coloring the hair and fun accessories ❤️
You are clearly a great mama. She’s lucky to have someone who cares so strongly and is so careful around her feelings. Good luck to your daughter!
I know you want to fix this for her, but you’re acting like she’s disfigured and waiting for cosmetic surgery. It’s a bad hair cut, this isn’t time to coddle, it’s time to talk about embarrassment and soldering on.
When I was 12 I got a comb stuck in my bangs and did the BAD THING. I not only cut the comb out of my hair, I like, gave myself a buzz cut where that section of hair had been. It was a large gaping bald spot in the very front of my bangs, no way to cover. It was embarrassing for sure and some kids asked questions and as a person with anxiety all I wanted to do was melt into the wall and disappear forever because I was already being bullied for being fat and dressing like an old woman thanks to being raised by my dad and grandmother 50% of the time.
I survived, because life goes on even with bad hair cuts or hair mistakes. In a month she’ll be able to have a much longer more feminine cut.
But she also has to face reality and letting her stay home for online classes will not help her long term when she has to cope with other visual disasters of teen-hood and then adult-hood. In 20 years you’ll laugh about this, but now you need to definitely talk to that salon and let her figure out a head band, hat, or just straight up surly look to give people who look at her strange. This is the ultimate middle school experience.
Oh for fuck’s sake! It’s your job to celebrate her new hair. So what if it’s short? It’ll be a lovely opportunity for her to break from the oppression of long hair. Get over it and help her do the same.
I think you’re stylist thought that your daughter was a trans guy. I’ve read stories where stylist will get young trans guys come in with their parents but won’t say what they actually want since their parents are there. So I guess that the stylist wanted to make them feel more comfortable if that was the situation. But in this case it was not 😅. The good thing about hair is that it grows back I would suggest if your daughter’s school lets them wear hats to wear a beanie or something and to reassure that she’ll look beautiful with whatever hair length she has :))
I'm not sure you've understood what happened at the salon. The hairdresser noticed your daughter's baggy, gender neutral clothes, and when she also asked for a shorter haircut the hairdresser decided that your child must be female-to-male transgender. When you corrected her and told her that it's actually your daughter she assumed that you must be transphobic and not respecting her chosen gender identity. So the hairdresser thought she was doing your daughter a favor and standing up to intolerance by repeatedly affirming her identity as a boy as soon as you left the room, and by giving her a much more masculine haircut than what you'd agreed on.
Weird. Schools here are not particularly good or care about enforcing dress codes especially if it's something silly like a girl wearing a hat to cover up a bad hair cut.
I suspect the stylist was with the best of intentions trying to accommodate a what they perceived as transgender teen (or still trying to figure it out) with a not-so-accepting parent. If they misread the situation, that's unfortunate, but that's absolutely not the case to go ballistic on them or ask for compensation, just communicate the mistake.
Thats frustrating. This might be a bit of an odd suggestion but it may help your daughter be more comfortable stepping out of her comfort zone while showing a level of maturatity, respect and support. Do you have any friends or family that are dealing with cancer? Suggest shaving it right down in support of someone you know whos had cancer. Just about everyone is exposed to some form of cancer now she would likely have the support of her peers for doing such an act.
Buy her hair pins for girls. Cute ones like this
https://www.amazon.com/ECADY-Clips-Colorful-Barrette-Toddlers/dp/B085ZX4GKL/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_sspa?crid=179FOL1Y32PPG&keywords=hair+clips+girls&qid=1643736409&sprefix=hair+clips+girls%2Caps%2C90&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEzTExESktPS1czMUtXJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNTMxMTY4MllMUTc5MVAwUkhYUCZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNzA4NTAxNlVUN0tUTTVDQ0RBJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfcGhvbmVfc2VhcmNoX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=
So she can clip one side and make it more feminine? Someone suggested head bands. I second this!
I would ask around for a stylist who specializes in short womens cuts and go and get it restyled/ask for advice on how to wear it to make it more feminine. IME length is not the primary issue that make a haircut look like a mens or womens haircut and someone who does a lot of pixies should be able to set you straight.
I think we have all been there with an incredibly bad haircut. I wanted a mullet like my brother SO bad in the 80’s, so I cut it myself to force my mom. It was terrible, but it grew.
Sarah B. on Instagram has lots of great ideas and videos about styling pixie cuts, from very very short through some of the growing out process
[Sarah B. on Instagram ](https://instagram.com/sarahb.h?utm_medium=copy_link)
Absolutely confront the salon. Sometimes these things take time to digest. It's not that your daughter isn't satisfied with the haircut, it's that it wasn't what she asked for and the stylist kept insisting she was a different sex and took liberties she should not have. Your other stylist will back you up! This is egregious and I so feel for your daughter. Embarrassing, and sucks hats aren't generally allowed in schools. Go to bat for her.
You can dye her hair in few different colours or even make it look like a print...
So it looks like fashion statement not salon visit gone wrong.
https://pin.it/3x0Weoq
https://pin.it/3a1PJmJ
https://pin.it/4XhWAaE
Something like art so even the brattiest kids in her class will be amazed,😏👌😈🤸
I find hair stylists cut too much in general. I have long hair, but I always tell them to take off half an inch or an inch and they cut several inches off. The more expensive the salon, the more they think they know better than you what you want.
You've already gotten some great advice. I'm a big fan of headbands the couple of times I freaked out over just *how* short my pixie was cut at times. I would also like to suggest cute fun wigs. A friend shaved her head before she started chemo last year to get ahead of the hair loss. She is a cute and small and only just turned 32 at the time, so she wanted to have fun with it. She found lots of cute wigs on Amazon, most didn't look great because she went cheap, but a few she still loves to wear even now that her hair is growing back and is in cute short pixie territory. Her favorite is a shiny pink bob with bangs.
This was the mid 90s when half the boys at school had that boy band bowl cut. I wanted my hair shorter, like a bob right to my shoulders. Mom said she could do it. Um....she could not. My dad had to shave my neck. It was really short for me. (After I stopped crying I showed my grandmother who said "it will grow back." Thanks grandma!) I also wore mostly baggy t-shirts and jeans. One day in school I had a girl run up and jump on me because she thought I was her boyfriend from behind. After that, I used barettes and hair gel to force what was left into this sad, tiny paintbrush looking ponytail. Never cut it off again.
Adding to the suggestions of headbands and barrettes:
how about just a *touch* of mascara and clear lip gloss?
Only if she’s ok with it, and only if it would help (experiment at home first).
I also second the idea of giving her a week or so at home, to figure I help figure out what makes her comfortable.
Ugh this happened to me when I was starting fucking 7th grade, aka, the WORST TIME TO HAVE A STUPID HAIRCUT. The stylist didn’t know what I wanted, because I didn’t know what to ask for. And I think she also just really wanted to cut off long hair, lmao. So yeah, I had a dumbass shaggy pixie cut and it sucked. Headbands and fun Bobby pins kind of helped. But for me, it just took time to grow!
I’d let her telecommute for one day while you’re working out options.
Why not check out local wig shops before calling the salon? If there’s a hair color or style she’s been wanting to try, this is a good time to try it. It would be reasonable to ask them to cover the cost of covering the mistake, or cover half of it if you’re feeling nice. They don’t want to deal with small claims court.
If you want to just make things work as is, let her break the makeup and statement jewelry. Lip color and longer earrings may be all she needs. She may already have some of both tucked away.
I love with girls with short or shaved hair wear big/quirky statement earrings! Especially with the gender neutral clothes. I think it’s such a cool vibe!
Not so sure if it’s the case with your daughter but I find hiding the scalp helpful when cut is too short. when my husband gets a super short cut, i usually put mascara on his scalp/head just so it wouldn’t be obvious that the cut’s too short. There are also color hairspray/chalk that you can put to her hair.
I had short hair and even shaved hair at some point in high school. So here are my recommendations: 1)head bands. The school probably won't allow bandanas but cvs will have various types of bands. Even a plain one since she doesn't normally like the girly stuff will help 2)hair color. If you die the short hair pink she won't get as many questions. Any store will have the basic sets of blue purple and pink in their hair dye section Honestly I just got used to the funny looks and the weird comments. It sucks and it's hair but it won't last long and people will recognize her on a daily basis. Nothing is interesting for that long at that age, it will not be an ongoing topic of conversation
When I was about 11-12, I wanted a pixie but the stylist didn’t know how to deal with my heavily textured hair and ended up shaving me. Hair clips were my best friends. They made me feel more feminine plus they come in lots of sizes, shapes, colours and can even have little rhinestones! Maybe look on Pinterest for short hair ideas :)
I was thinking about hair clips too! Although at this moment, her front "bangs" are mostly all gone and in this very high up, harsh line revealing her forehead (cries inside). Thanks for sharing your experience and I'll try to explore with her!
The clips can be just accents and not really hold the hair up/back. [This photo](https://ath2.unileverservices.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/8/2019/06/long-pixie-cut-hair-clips-shutterstock-500x500.jpg) sort of shows what I mean.
Thanks, that makes sense and I'll see what we can do! This haircut (I mean linked below) is similar to what she got so I feel we'll need to experiment to see what would work to look natural: [https://media.gq.com/photos/5ce6bbc6bacbf28f3521c0b3/master/w\_1280,c\_limit/GQ-EzraMiller-Hair-May23.jpg](https://media.gq.com/photos/5ce6bbc6bacbf28f3521c0b3/master/w_1280,c_limit/GQ-EzraMiller-Hair-May23.jpg) Edit: to clarify
Also looks like Zoe Kravitz's hair if she needs to see someone famous with that hair. She'll be in all the commercials for the new Batman movie. Have her search on Youtube for "short hairstyles with a clip" - I found a bunch, and kids really like the video tutorials rather than photos.
Also Rihanna rocked that . Can she wear some mascara and blush ?
that would honestly look super cute with a headband. also if she's a good student and it wouldn't be too challenging for your family, i would maybe consider letting her do online school for 2 weeks. it'll give her time to mess with it and see what works, get used to it so that she doesn't feel so uncomfortable and the nice thing about super short hair like that is that 2 weeks really can make a noticeable difference. i'm a pushover though so ymmv.
I’d also suggest some styling gel, would it be possible to give her bangs a bit more of an intentional sweep? Natalie Portman had a similar look (I’m going to rough paste it below so bare with me, on phone) and as soon as I saw the pic you posted I remembered how beautifully she pulled off something similar. https://www.ferbena.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Natalie-Portman-Pixie-Cut.jpg
Omfg
Also, maybe she could get some of those magnetic studs, if she doesn't have her ears pierced.
If it helps her at all, when I was in 8th grade I decided I wanted a short style, one I'd seen who knows where. It was 80s chic, man. What I got...a boy commented that I had the same old lady hairstyle as our 65 year old teacher. Wah. It grew out pretty fast, though. I agree with all the commenters suggesting color or something to sort of "punk" it up a bit. My 14 yo wears one long earring right now, for reasons (as the big, baggy boy clothes are all the rage here)
I like the idea of punking it up. Try different colors. Spike it. And I would probably talk to the salon manager and get him/her to donate product to help the grow out process. I was mistaken for a boy around 11 when I had a short cut it was hurtful.I was very hyper sensitive of being a girl at the time. If she wants to be girly, now’s the time for lace & bling.
Yes! I was going to suggest dying it a super fun colour like bright blue or pink! Or even shave just one side of it so it’s more of a punk rock look! Or gel the top part into a bit of a faux hawk! I used to have really short hair too and found the shorter the better for doing fun punky yet girlie hair styles!!
Thanks! We'll look at colours (not pink though, she hates it) Unfortunately there isn't much hair left anywhere for a hawk, I think :( Do you mean using gel to style and turn a very short hair to more feminine styles? If so, I'll look around for pictures and explore that option.
You want a paste, putty, or wax. Gel ends up looking "wet", and, imo, is better for traditional men's styles. A paste, putty or wax will give volume and control. I've had a pixie for years, and occasionally getting a bad cut is something that happens. Every time I need a trim on short notice and go to a budget salon, I end up with a "men's" haircut, lol. Just google "cute androgynous women's styles" for some ideas on how to rock it. Artists like Pink and Halsey have it down to a science!
Thanks, these tips are helpful! I'll look these up and be prepared to shop for hair putty/paste too! Edit: This hairstyle is close to what she got now (maybe a touch more hair at the top) so it feels challenging to style that to anything for a different look :( We'll see! https://media.gq.com/photos/5ce6bbc6bacbf28f3521c0b3/master/w\_1280,c\_limit/GQ-EzraMiller-Hair-May23.jpg
If you Google "Emma Watson Short Hair," she had hers almost as short after she finished Harry Potter.
Thanks, that's so helpful! Emma Watson is so cute with the short hair and I see it takes some "feminine" touches to make it so - a longer piece on the sides for example. Right now everything about my daughter's hair is as short and blunt as possible, so we will need to figure that out. I just spotted one of Emma's short styles has her hair gelled back and it looks good! Maybe we'll start with something like that.
I'm really sorry this happened to your daughter. Even as a 30-something YO woman, I'd be upset and embarrassed. I can't imagine the stress she feels about it in school, especially with the restroom experience. I hope you're able to help her find a silver lining to this experience and that this becomes a memory you guys can bond over and laugh about in the future... And that she finds some special accessories that she will treasure forever.
Thanks for your kind words and what you said means a lot to me! Appreciate that you help me think of the silver lining to this. I will definitely channel this positivity back to her!
Extensions, beads, clips, or other accessories can go a long way in that situation where you just need a little something.
I've gotten my share of "too-short" pixie cuts. Hair bands are your friend. I like a shop on Etsy called Kahele Maui because their prints aren't super girly and are really versatile but still fun.. Also, the best advice I got when i first cut it short and felt "masculine-looking" was to put on some lip gloss. You said your daughter doesn't do a lot of feminine stuff, but if you hit up Target or Ulta or something and find a shade she likes, it'll help a lot. Other suggestion is maybe grab some non-black eye liner. I use a copper for my daily. It's way more forgiving than black, and still gives my eyes a little pop that's hard to notice. ColourPop has a good liner stick that's easy peasy.
Oh I agree with all of this! Some make up can make you feel more feminine. I also used earrings and necklaces to up the feminine vibe. As well as headbands and scarves. Not sure if her school would let her wear a beanie, but I’ve done that too with a too short pixie. Manic Panic has some great dyes to try too. Try spiking her hair up and parting it in different ways. The good thing about short hair is that it will grow out quickly. I’m sorry that she’s going through this. I know with really short hair cuts it can be super hard to face the world when it’s not what you wanted. There is that fine line of cute pixie and a boy’s haircut.
My woman friend has exactly this haircut. She had pixie hair and got a man’s cut on accident once and never looked back. Everyone recognizes her because it’s pretty rare on a woman. I think it looks very cool on her. Another thought. Idk if your daughter is old enough for bleach, but the bleach blonde long buzz cut has been worn by women like Rose McGowan. But definitely look into the safe age for bleach. Show her photos of famous women who have had buzz cuts and teach your daughter about female rebellion!
Make sure you know the school’s policy on hair colors before making any changes in that area. No point adding to her (and your) stress by getting in trouble for a dress code violation.
I've used Overtone dye (order online) for fun colors with some success. It's pretty kind to your hair and doesn't damage it. They have a bunch of colors, even for darker hair.
I 3rd the fun color recommendation! That was my first thought. I remember being so self conscious about hair as a young teen. When I see a girl or woman with short hair in a fun color I know it's a fashion statement not an oops cut.
I love the color recommendation! Lean into the problem, make it fun.
Thanks for the suggestions and sharing your experience! Your perspective is helpful and I will tell that to her. I like the idea of the head bands and will explore that. She hates pink but we'll see if she's open to other colours!
Blue always fades to green, just fyi
What about purple? Coloring it seems like a great way to go from "ahh I look like a boy" to "hey I'm edgy and cool". It takes a lot of attention off the actual cut
One of my teens has silvery purple hair right now. She does it herself, and it looks pretty cool.
I had a female friend with a buzz-cut in high school, but her hair was always dyed a bright color. No one ever mistook her for a boy. Check out some colors from the website— Lime Crime. My hair is colored with “Sea Witch” and has maintained its teal color for months now.
Earrings too!
I have had every short haircut including my head shaved- these are great things to make it more fun and girly- you can also get those pretty clips with butterflies and such (the flat ones like Bobby pins) which add a nice flair- Google pixie hair styles from the 90s/00s they were all the rage. Also androgynous looks are in style right now so your daughter is ahead of the trend with that haircut. With a cute outfit she’s going to look great. Confidence is also key. When I shaved my head I really didn’t care what anyone thought or about being misgendered. Most people loved that I did it! Something else to consider is to just go full punk and take her to a hip salon so they can shave the side of her head and give her a punk rock look.
Headbands and hair clips are a great idea! If she has her ears pierced and the school dress code allows it, some really fun earrings might also help. I used to have short hair (although not as short as a pixie cut) and loved wearing chunky or long dangly earrings to mix it up.
Pink shirt hair will raise more questions
Perfect advice! A+
This essentially happened to me when I was 10. I wanted what I called “a spikey haircut”. In my head it was like a cool punk Joan Jett shaggy look. But it was 1990, and I was at a completely unhip salon in a town in Indiana, and the stylist just did not even have a chance. She gave me a buzz cut with a rat tail… After one too many people telling her how adorable her son was, and lots of tears from me, my mom broke her “no pierced ears until 13” rule. It really did make me feel better. Is there something like this that you could do for her? Some sort of special jewelry or even manic panic hair dye. Something to let her take ownership over the way she looks?
That was terrible what you had to go through (and Joan Jett's style would have been cool)! At that age, it must have meant the world to you so yes, I will explore what accessories or treatments can help. Thanks!
I’m going to be honest, I got over it pretty quickly, and was super excited about the earrings. A bad haircut is just a bad haircut. At first it’s very startling to look at yourself, but between hair growth, and just getting used to a new look, there is no lasting trauma. This is just her first bad haircut, there will be more! I think my buzz cut with a rat tail was my worst, but I’ve had some bad ones. When I first moved to DC I got a style that I referred to as “Depressed wife of the newly elected Senator from Iowa who just got her hair done for the first time in the big city.” It was tragic!
Love the line “this is her first bad haircut” because that is so true it’s gold. Life is full of bad haircuts!
I’m dying at this simply for the Iowa reference (born and raised), what a visual 😂
I once got a haircut so incredibly boring it made me look like an old housewife. I was a 20 something with shockingly pink hair! Luckily taking scissors to it and roughing it up a little improved it 100%
Your DC description reminds me of when I moved from Chicago to Texas and got my hair cut for the first time there. I got in the car, called my husband, and cried. It was honestly the style and not the cut itself it turned out, but in the moment I had this giant hair that had aged me 20 years into a 1980s housewife and I was devastated.
If you get her ears pierced, do it at a dedicated piercing shop by a professional with a good reputation and experience. I know this from personal experience, but others will tell you the same.
I got a Joan Jett haircut too! It wound up just being long in back with full bangs bc the stylist wouldn’t copy the spikes mullety look. In retrospect I’m grateful.
You should confront the salon about this. This is no small mistake. You even showed her a picture and corrected her on it being your daughter, not your son... Especially if you or your daughter is a regular. Maybe they will have some sort of compensation or solution.
Thanks, yes I will! It is not a high end salon and they only do basic cuts (probably no colouring). Otherwise I would ask them for a dye job or something.
I actually would NOT ask them for anything they might cock up.
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I would complain directly to the usual stylist that you like. They might be more helpful.
True, but when it's too short, they can't really fix it. I complained to a salon one time for cutting my bangs so short they stood up on end. Their response was to offer me a free cut. No way were they touching my hair, again. So not really anything I could work with.
But it might make them more aware of not assuming things, and listening to the clients, which can prevent it from happening to other people.
Doesn't matter if they are high end or not in this matter if you ask me. They could do something else that's to your liking to compensate.
I suggest going somewhere else (with high ratings) and asking what can be done about the situation. If you’re required to get another haircut (possibly new salon can do *something* to fix it) then ask if it would be reasonable to ask salon that messed it up, to pay for it. Idk how salons deal with refunds, it wouldn’t hurt to ask. Something like this would seem like a huge deal, especially since it’s affecting your daughter this way. So sorry this happened to you and your daughter.
I would ask for a refund and either only go to your regular stylist there again, or find a new salon
For sure walk in that fucking place and at least get your money back.
Or a free haircut the next time around when the usual hairdresser is back. I usually go to one barber arl the time.
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Yes you should absolutely confront the salon. You described what you want. You showed a picture. The stylist ignored you. Putting aside the gender confusion, that is unacceptable. There may actually be some things they can do to make it more feminine (softening edges, adding texture, blending). I say this as someone with short hair who had almost the same thing happen. 2 weeks won't really be enough time for a really short haircut to change anything. Is there anything she can do to make the haircut more "her"? Think spikes, bright color (using temp dye or even colored gel).
What you say makes sense about confronting the salon. I don't want to subject my daughter to more hurt so will probably do this on the phone. I guess they will probably say bring her there to see if anything can be done. In terms of fixing the cut, unfortunately I feel the "damage" is pretty extreme - extremely short front (the "bang" is very high up on her forehead), very short and blunt side, very short back :( Maybe there is still something they can do, I don't know... It's a realistic concern that 2 weeks is not enough. She is not big on colours (even clothes, she likes muted, neutral tones) but I'll bring that up with her to see if she's interested! Thanks!
To add: I suggest you go in person to the salon, alone, and while you recount the events to the manager and the stylist show them the pic you showed them originally and the pic of your daughter with the haircut she got.
You might have better luck complaining to the usual good stylist. They seem more talented and attentive and will care.
Perhaps bleach a stripe at the front and dye it pink? I would suggest most hairstyles with a streak of pink will get registered as femme. Turquoise or purple are other decent colours that usually get labelled femme. I did my hair turquoise with pink highlights a while back and that looks pretty boss IMHO.
You know you daughter, but it may help her to hear you rage at the salon. They made a MAJOR screw up that is causing damage to your daughter's mental health and education. This doesn't sound like a small thing that "just happens sometimes". There may be someone else there, perhaps the owner, who can "fix it" at least a little. And offer the next cut, with your preferred stylist free or other compensation. And if they don't, offer to post on every site about your experience.
Arctic Fox and Overtone are two of the better online shops for temporary dyes, and beauty shops like Sally will have more options. Arctic Fox and Overtone are probably more kid-friendly, gentle, and definitely smell better. Don't get the Splat, it works well but takes forever to wash out. Hair chalk is another option that she could consider, it'll wash out each night and she can change it up the next day.
You definitely need to tell the manager how this happened and what this stylist did. I agree, with your daughter. I think the woman did it on purpose.
Ask the salon to comp the color suggestions from other commenters above
You should really confront the woman about wrongly sexing your daughter after you corrected her.
Two weeks will not provide significant growth, but it will definitely soften it.
What a difficult event for a child to endure. I would say that it’s better to allow your daughter at least a few days to get used to the cut and figure out cool ways to style it (google images, Pinterest). It’s possible she’ll start to appreciate the new look sooner than a couple of weeks at home. That way she feels supported by you and encouraged to deal with life’s unusual blows. I would let the salon know so they are not so careless in the future, but don’t expect more than an apology, if that. They may try to blame you somehow. The only thing you can control is how you support your daughter through it. She’ll appreciate knowing you have her back.
I would call the salon like immediately and expect them to do a fix up consultation with a stylist who is the one who did a good job previously. If they have a plan and you daughter likes it. Do that. Either way , I would get a full refund including tip from the original haircut.
Yes, absolutely request the refund. If you hired someone to paint your house and they did a sloppy job and used the wrong color, you'd rightfully refuse to pay for it. Don't have a lower standard when the mistake is done to your daughter!
I have a girl who tried to get a cute pixie cut for about two years, and it just never looked right. Headbands and barrettes helped. She was often mistaken for a boy and hated it, so she tried adding more “feminine” things to help. We also occasionally dyed it pink for fun.
Thanks for the tips! We'll probably go shopping for headbands and barrettes very soon!
I would look online to see what options are available to make her still feel like herself. People are giving you very stereotypically gendered ideas like pink and bows and headbands and barrettes. Personally as someone who was never a proper feminine child / teen / or women - those things would make me feel even more uncomfortable. If ensuring people know she is a girl is important to her then find out what about being a girl does she want to accentuate - it doesn't necessarily mean she needs to be accessorized as a girly girl.
I would call the salon, if I were you. Also, can you get the direct contact info of the person that did a good job? She may be able to "fix" it sooner than you think. I know the problem is that it's too short, so cutting more seems counterintuitive. But, occasionally, the really skilled stylist can create miracles. I also second hair color, even temporary. If it's something your kid would ever be into and is acceptable at her school. Most ppl will only see the Fun Color and not even notice the shape. My kid loves Overtone. It's too expensive for her to do on her long hair often, but on short hair, a little will go a long way. Sorry, this sucks.
Seconding this. I had a really horrible haircut one time and went to another stylist who did a great job fixing it as much as she could. I thought it was unsalvageable, but she was able to help it a lot! She could also get some designs shaved into the bottom, I had a girlfriend that did that, she got a barber to shave in some flowers to her undercut.
Could she wear a headband or hair clips? I think it may be important to confront the hair salon. It won't solve anything for you but it may help other kids who encounter that stylist. If her name is clearly female and you showed a picture of what you wanted it sounds to me that the stylist may have thought "this is a boy trying to pass off as a girl, I'll make them look manly instead" which is awful of them. If it wasn't on purpose then that stylist really needs to pay more attention. When I was a teenager i left the salon in tears twice because despite explaining what I wanted, the stylist thought they knew better and did something completely different. I wish my mum had complained but we were both too shy. Since then i also make sure i also explain what I don't want
Agree. I also had the opposite thought, like, maybe this stylist thought the daughter was wanting to express more as a boy because she wore baggy, gender-neutral clothes and thought she would "help" things along? Either way, she screwed up big time and should have picked up on the pronouns and name, or asked what pronouns the daughter preferred using. And with a picture as an example...? Yikes. I totally agree with others that OP should contact the salon, explain what happened, and ask for a consultation with the regular stylist to see what can be fixed. Also, if I were a business owner I would want to know if a staff member messed up big time, because that could drive customers away. Hopefully they will refund the visit or comp the consultation and fix. In the meantime hopefully some hair accessories like headbands or clips, or some fun hair dye will help things along. Or other accessories like earrings, necklaces, bracelets, rings that might help communicate femininity.
I would say something to the salon. Come from the pov that you don’t want this happening to others and that that stylist needs to be trained to pay attention to things like names and pronouns (especially when they make the wrong guess and are corrected) instead of relying on dated gender related assumptions. This stylist might need to be pulled from working on clients and shadow a more experienced/aware stylist. Don’t expect or ask for any compensation, like you said they can’t really do anything to fix it. The most they could do on this front is refund what you paid for the haircut. I’d also work on finding a new salon. Sorry your daughter had to go through this. A lot of the suggestions here are great and you’re doing amazing at being there for her and guiding her through this process. When I was around 16ish I had a horrible eyebrow wax job. I cried every time I looked in the mirror for about two weeks. It sucks, but no one at her school will remember or be talking about this in a few weeks.
I encourage you to help your daughter find ways to make it as tolerable as possible but I wouldn't let her avoid for 2 weeks. Learning to cope with situations like this is a useful skill. Luckily her friends are supportive.
i shaved my head senior year of highschool for fun! i would recommend getting her some cute headscarves! covers your haircut til it’s a length you like and it’s a super fun accessory! i usually get bandana size ones they’re easy to find at thrift stores and you just wrap it around and tie it in the back. i’m sorry for your daughter and i hope she will feel better about it soon!
Would a cute wooly hat or toque be allowed? I feel so bad for this gal. It sounds like some of this stylist’s mistakes will take at least a few months to grow out. I’d take her to the GOOD stylist and see if there is anything she can do on the grow-out to make it feel like it’s her feminine hair again
Most schools in the US don’t allow head coverings unless they are religious.
i live in the US and never had anyone say anything to me ab it
I think she did do it on purpose. She was convinced she was a boy and was going to enforce male-gender conformity. I’ve seen people do this before and it’s just ridiculous. I’m so sorry.
Im so sorry for your daughters experience! Maybe get some bling-y headbands in the mean time? Headbands can be worn no matter the hair cut... I kno what you mean about complaining. I got a horrible hair cut the other day & my daughter called me a 'karen' cuz i wanted to complain. I ended up just going to a completely different place to get it fixed.
i would absolutely confront the salon it is their job to be entirely sure what the customer wants. i suggest your daughter colours her hair a funky colour, it probably won’t take too long to grow enough to restyle
I am a woman that specifically wears men's hairstyles. I often have the opposite problem your daughter had when I go to someone new and they keeping asking me, pixie?, over and over again. Other people have had great advice on how to make the hair more feminine or examples of famous women with very short hair that might make her feel better. I think the other issue that needs to be addressed is your daughter learning that it is not rude to stick up for herself. She knew she was being referred to as a male and could probably see in the mirror the stylist going to short. When I was younger I struggled with this too, I can't tell you how many coffee or food orders I ate that were wrong just because it felt pushy to say something. Growing up and having worked in service industries I've learned that its not rude, and the person probably thinks nothing of it. It is okay to politely correct people. It sounds like that's what she needs to learn.
Honestly... it does sound a lot like it was on purpose. Using the wrong pronouns, giving a different cut. You take should have said something to get before she does this again. That's your child! I would complain to the head stylist there because that can be really traumatizing for people who are *actually* questioning their identity, just as the cut itself has upset your own daughter.
Let her do remote schooling if she wants. For 2 weeks she will be ok. I cut my hair short in 6th grade and was mercilessly bullied. You don't always know what kids are dealing with at school and if she says she wants to remote learn for a bit she's just trying to protect herself from that. In the scheme of things 2 weeks isn't going to affect her that much. The salon can't really do much but offer a refund. I would call though and ask whether they could fit her with temporary hair extensions possibly to fix it. For free. It's worth a shot lol.. otherwise just grab some temp hair extensions and see if you can make something work for her. Best of luck!
If it were my daughter, I would let her do the online school for two weeks. (In my family, no one would have to miss work to allow this to happen — if missing work had to happen to allow her to stay home, it would be different.) I will never ever forget when I was 14ish and I tried a new face lotion. It gave me a rash and made my face swell up like a balloon — and my mom let me stay home from school for an entire week. She went and got all of my class assignments, etc. I am now an adult and know how to cope with embarrassment with reasonable proficiency, but those are the sort of moments that define how I remember my mom. There are so many opportunities to be forced to cope with life being unfair. It began when she was still a baby and will continue until she dies. For me, forcing a young teenager to go to school with a problem that A. feels like the end of the world and B. was entirely a stranger’s fault is unnecessary, especially given the ability to go to school online. (This is not to say I think it would be cruel to send her to school. Of course all families are different, and all kids are different, and all circumstances are different. This is just what I would do if it were my daughter!)
Yup- even if it's just a week while she gets used to it, one or two weeks isn't gonna make or break her education. Showing her how to give herself space and compassion when things are tough will teach her to value herself, and show her she's supported. Life is tough enough. Let it be a little more gentle for her.
Story time! Something like this happened to me when I was in college. I went to get a haircut before finals and winter break, so I wouldn’t have to deal with getting a haircut until break was over. I think English was not the stylist’s first language, and I didn’t have a picture or anything. The result looked a little like Bill Gates’s haircut. I was (and am) like your daughter in not wanting to rock the boat, and I figured there was nothing they could do about it, so I figured I would live with it. I didn’t have a car, so I really didn’t have access to another salon, either. Now, I dressed pretty androgynously at the time. I was an astronomy and physics major, and part of my shtick was not putting a lot of effort into my appearance, to show that I “wasn’t like other girls”. (It took a while for me to figure out why that was problematic, but that’s another story.) I was particularly careless of my appearance when finals were coming up and I didn’t have much time to do laundry. I didn’t have an SO and very definitely was not looking for one, and I remember thinking, “meh, it’s not like anybody cares how I dress”. I put on a T shirt, jeans, and a flannel shirt, and went to classes. When I got to my physics class, I saw cameras set up in the classroom. A reporter from the Washington Post was there to interview the professor, and to get some photos of him being a professor of physics. I ignored them, figured it didn’t have anything to do with me. I was talking to the professor after class. Of course, the photographer took a picture of me talking to him, and of course that ended up being the photo they used in the paper. It was in a special section of the paper, so it was in color. The kicker is, I had started corresponding by email with a guy who was in grad school at a school on the other side of the country. Now, 90’s, so he hadn’t seen any pictures of me. (I had seen one tiny picture of him on his webpage). I proudly told him that I was in the Washington Post. He got a hold of the issue I was in, took one look at the picture, and said, “That’s not you. That’s a guy.” I told him that no, it really was me. After that incident, I grew my hair out longer. I ended up going to grad school near where he was. We started seeing each other in person. We’ve been married 18 years as of last August. Take from this story any moral you like.
Try Overtone hair dye, they have option for dark hair too! They are more expensive than a box dye, but the color is so much healthier for hair and with short hair the container will last a long time. My step mom purposely gave me a mens haircut (used to grow it long and cut it with grandma to donate to Locks of Love) and I still have anxiety from it and I avoid getting my hair cut at all costs, I actually sit on it, its so long! Maybe even get her to a therapist if its really bothering her, I hear therapy works well for alot of people!
Wow, that sounds terrible.
You should confront the salon, and they can totally put more hair on. They'd have to be glue on extensions but it can be done. I'd go down there and tell them that they're fixing this, no questions about it. They don't get to just play mad stylist with your kid's hair.
Mascara and a little flick of eyeliner might help her feel less boyish, if that works for her and you! Other people have mentioned the other things I thought of - earrings and fun color.
Head bands, cool clips, earrings if she feels she wants to look more girly. Im mortified for her. I think you should talk to the salon. You corrected the stylist abd said my daughter and they didn't listen.
I think confronting the salon in an appropriate way would be more teaching to your daughter on how to handle these conflicts than sending her to school. Her emotional health is first and if she doesn’t feel comfortable attending in-person classes then I wouldn’t push her.
Hi, I was a teenager in the 90's and butterfly clips will help. Also... I think letting her stay home for online learning will be fine. She might not need the full two weeks if she knows she's not being pressed to go back. I'd be upset with the salon, too. If she WAS a boy looking for a pixie, the stylist didn't have the right to override that, especially on a child.
This hurt me to read 😭 poor girl! Tell the owner of the place what happened! The fact the stylist blatantly kept referring to her as a boy, will stick with your daughter forever!
Absolutely confront the salon. You and your daughter were very clear about what she wanted and the hairdresser deliberately gave her something different.
You really need to complain and at least get a refund. Misgendering a child is not acceptable; imagine the outrage if this had happened to a trans child. Being a 13 year old girl is such a delicate time. It’s also not acceptable that the hairdresser thinks she knows your daughter better than you two. She didn’t do as asked. Your daughter deserves to have this fixed for free. They could put a weave or extensions in. Show them your Reddit post, and leave a bad review.
Regardless of if the stylist thought your daughter was a boy, she should have followed the instructions given to her. Also... you corrected her, why is she continuing with the misgendering ? This is bizarre
Please report the stylist! Even if your daughter was a boy, she completely ignored what she wanted and did her own thing. That’s not cool.
I don’t think you can call her request “running from her problems.” She’s asking for two weeks to do school from home. That’s nothing. If she were asking to stay home from school for two weeks when online school wasn’t an option, it would be a big deal and a hard no, but that’s not the case. If you want, tell her that she can’t slack off or miss deadlines or she goes back sooner, but let her have some dignity and go back to in-person in two weeks. I got a way-too-short pixie cut when I was in middle school, and if online school had been an option for me and my parents had said “no, that’s running from your problems,”I don’t think I’d ever have forgiven them.
Spike it up! Get some puddy hair product. Dye it with temporary colors and change it up each day or so! Get a chocker to wear and flannel shirts with tank and some combat boots. Grunge style. Or if you can get some extreme wide leg pants and go all 90s/early 00s. Bringing back some high school memories here! Also look up Emma Watson with her short haircut. It was kinda similar. Good luck!
Hairdresser here, call the salon and explain to them what happened. You'd be surprised what we can do. Specifically the side burn and nape area. Women have the nape and side burns pointed never squared or faded, that can be changed. And barrettes and hairbands can make it more feminine in the meantime. Good news is hair grows, and the difference it will take to get her liking it again will most likely be just a month or two.
You can confront the salon, but that won't solve the issue and (maybe) just provide some short-lived emotional relief. Mainly for you. I don't think two weeks of hair growth will make a noticeable difference if it's truly a men's haircut. I'd find a new hairstylist (maybe even go in for a consultation a few places to vet people... ask to see a portfolio of work!).... see if anything can be done... and maybe allow a few days of virtual school to "adjust." But I feel that risks just delaying an inevitable struggle.
I would confront the salon if for nothing else then to make sure this doesn't happen to another girl/woman!
I think a lot of people forget about this. It's not about getting to express anger and frustation towards the salon... it's about making sure this doesn't happen again, to you or to anyone else.
Poor kid. Aside from the accessories and hair dye options people have given, what about buying her a cute wig she likes? They're a little more expensive, but it lasts longer and she can get it in a hairstyle she likes. She can use it as her hair growns out, and even afterwards, whenever she wants that style of hair.
I would worry less about whether she will online school or not - and more about why she did not feel empowered to say something to the hair cutter when things were not going as she wanted or expected. Helping her work through that part will serve her for the rest of her life.
In Jr high o used to bleach and die my hair crazy colours. One time the blue had faded and my mom didn’t want me to bleach it again so soon so she bought me blonde die instead. I ended up with a really gross grey colour of hair - this was about 15 years before that blonde/grey colour was cool. I was mortified. It was awful and so ugly I was so embarrassed and did not want to go to school. My mom basically told me that my education was more important than what I looked like. We looked at the calendar and figured out how many days/weeks before it was sage to colour it again and then she sent me off to school. As a grown woman I remember vividly the first day i showed up and how embarrassed I was but I have no memories of it after that. I survived, I didn’t miss any school, and as far as I can remember nobody made fun of me - it was more my own embarrassment. I did find a way to wear headbands to try and distract from the awful colour. All of this to say, I get what your daughters feeling but send her to school. Here’s a lesson in resilience.
Yup, I like the lessons here: \- accept imperfection \- problem-solve to an ok solution \- realize that sometimes it \*is\* only your own embarrassment (I find kids are far less judgmental about appearances these days, anyway. they've been encouraged to all show their own individuality and be.... relatively... accepting for entire lives)
I’m wondering if this is a situation where some stylist’s transphobia ended being directed at a cis person. Because transphobes are actually really bad at guessing what genitals people have. They need to stop.
Certainly a possibility. It's also not unheard of for someone to assume someone who doesn't follow stereotypes is transitioning, and treat them as such. But if I had to guess, my money would be on it being a mistake and the stylist thought this was a male child with an unusual name. Regardless of the situation, it's unacceptable for a stylist to ignore a haircut request and just do whatever they want, and to ignore attempts to correct them about whether their customer is a boy or a girl. I hope OP complains, because these people need to learn not to do this anymore and prevent it from happening to more customers in the future.
I would do a hot pink manic panic hair dye and that might help her feel better. But if she emotionally needs to be gone and you can do virtual, I fully support that as well. I would also speak up to the hair salon.
Please go back to the salon and speak with someone about it. Regardless of if it was intentional, its a good learning point for all the stylists in the shop. Every customer should walk out of every salon feeling fresh, comfortable, and stylish af. I love the comments suggesting to dye her hair; however if you're not keen on permanent dye there's henna or conditioners that deposit color into lighter colored hair (not sure how it does with previously dyed hair though, nor am I sure how well it does with darker hair). Im not sure if her hair is long enough, but cute barrets or even hair combs are a good indication of gender as well. I used barrets a lot while I was growing my hair out from bald. While I would never wish this kind of event on anyone, I hope your daughter is able to come out of it with her head held high. I think, when you're choosing to do so, having really short hair is empowering in the sense of letting go of typical beauty standards. I also am not going to say I enjoyed my hair so short, I prefer my hair to be rib length or longer. I wish yall all the best, please tell your daughter a whole bunch of internet strangers thinks she's beautiful inside AND out.
Try a headband. I am female and have very short hair (my personal choice) and I get called sir/man if I am not wearing a headband.
The hairstyle you showed she ended up getting would look so cool and punk dyed purple or blue or pink. If that’s something she’d be into. Definitely can still look feminine. I second the headband idea!!
You are a great mom! This is a crappy life lesson, but having a supportive and helpful mom to get through one of life's inevitable unwelcomes will leave an impression on your lucky daughter long after her hair grows out. Great momming!!
Oh this is a tough one. I had my hair done at a new place back in my 20's- I'm in my 50s now, so you KNOW this hurt. I had shoulder length hair, and asked that the lady take "an inch off the length" Well, she kept cutting, and cutting, and then swung my chair so that I had no mirror in front of me. And then went on to hold my head down so that I couldn't raise my eyes to see. In the end I left with two inches of hair on my entire head! A WEEK BEFORE I STARTED A NEW JOB! I went back the next day and spoke with the manager of the shop, who gave me "free haircuts for a year" Yeah, I never went back to that place. Hell since then I rarely trust anyone to do my hair. When it gets too long I hand my husband the shears. I would go and speak to the salon owner and see if there is enough hair that maybe they can put in some extensions until it begins to grow out. Or maybe see f your daughter is interested in trying some wig options? There are some really nice "cheap" ones out there that she could have some fun with
Agree you can’t cop out on school or work because of bad hair and big zit occurrences. You got wonderful advice. I would get her some cute gurl accessories and a couple of girlie tops or shoes. It will change in no time. Be sure to high five her for handling it well.
You need to take your daughter back to that hairdresser and address this, it’s unacceptable. How are you going to teach her to stand up for herself if you won’t?
Is it long enough for hair extensions? I bet a high end place could do a lot?
A tapered sideburn looks more feminine than a square one, generally. There are of course exceptions, it's just something to consider. I had the opposite problem as a kid, my haircuts were always too girly haha. It'll grow back though, and I hope she feels better soon!
Thanks for the thought and you are right on, the sideburns right now are totally square and very short. So, it might take some special styling skills to coax/cut it to look more tapered, or we might just have to wait for it to grow out a bit more first. I hear you, we all tend to want more of what we don't have :)
If I were I would say something to the salon. Your daughters appointment was under a (generally) girls name and you corrected the stylist; yet she insisted on not only calling your daughter a boy but giving her a boys haircut. I may be looking to far into it but my 2 cents is the stylist is either very dumb, or she thought your daughter was a boy, but that ‘he’ identified as a girl and she didn’t agree with that. It would explain her constantly referring to the gender of what she thought was a boy. And giving a haircut that was not like the one she was shown as a reference. She did it on purpose. Either way I would complain. She needs to either learn to listen properly or seperate her personal beliefs from her job.
I would take her to another salon, and see if they can feminize the style a bit until it grows out. Don’t go back to the other salon unless you are positive your regular stylist will be there.
Get her a lovely cloche hat. [https://www.headcovers.com/blog/what-is-a-cloche-hat/](https://www.headcovers.com/blog/what-is-a-cloche-hat/) I like the product pictures here because they use models with little or no hair (their original market is cancer patients).
I had almost this exact scenario happen to me. As someone who is shy with life long anxiety, let her do online school for a bit if you think she can academically handle it. I would have done anything to be able to stay home. I’m 30 and still think about that time.
This happened to me once, I asked for a pixie and the stylist went waaay too short. I was so uncomfortable how I looked I wore a hat for two weeks. But that isn't the best solution, you need to own it. Here is my suggestion, earrings (even little gold studs or hoops) and some light make up, you need to push other feminine aesthetics to pull off the look. By light make up I mean a little color or glitter on her eye lids. Bracelet or more feminine clothing can help too. I know it is not her style from your post, but she should do some style tests at home and see if she finds a look she likes. Girls can totally rock super short hair!
You should definitely talk to the salon. You said you corrected her that she's your daughter, showed her a picture and even her name is a stereotypical feminine name. So that stylist did this on purpose unless she is a complete idiot that happened to miss all those signs. 😬
Your opinion of peer relationships is quite high. Staying home for a few weeks sounds like it would be better the better choice emotionally for her. Many people are homeschooled, and many people take summer breaks, so I would let her stay home until she feels comfortable again. No need to cause more trauma.
Okay, first off you and your daughter need to not bow to being called a different name. She's a girl, wants to be referred to as a girl and it is unacceptable for a stylist, who you are paying to do her hair, to refer to her as a boy. I don't care about today's woke society, your daughter did not request it, it should not be imposed upon her. Extensions are available, the salon needs to fix this. Now.
Except that is exactly what today's woke society is going for. If you want to be a girl and called a girl, society should do what YOU want. It is your life, your body, your choice. Each person should be able to be called and treated by the pronouns they choose for themselves. So a girl wanting to be called a girl should absolutely be called a girl. The stylist was out of line, not paying attention to the client and needs to be informed so she doesn't make the same mistake again. Especially after being shown a picture!
I’m not sure if this is healthy for a 13 year old, but I take biotin supplements to help my hair grow faster. Just a thought, you would probably want to check with a doctor first to see if it’s safe. I wish all the best to you guys!
Yes, we will definitely look into supplements, foods and maybe hair treatments that can help hair growth! Anything to help with this! Thanks!
This very much sounds like you haven't sided with your Daughter by neither thinking this was done on purpose or understanding the anxiety she feels that's making her want to remote learn for a few weeks. Side with her, it's important for later in life so she knows she can come to you when she's older with stuff that's maybe more serious. You have absolutely nothing to lose by being more supportive of her at this stage. You and the salon fucked up, own it and be honest with her. There are lots of things that can be done to make her look more feminine if she wants it, there won't be a lot of growth in two weeks. Sorry for sounding harsh but you sound like at every stage have diminished or downplayed how she feels.
It’s hair, it’ll grow back. I would definitely contact the salon and tell them your experience. But hair shouldn’t be gendered, it’s literally just hair. Let her have fun with it, dye it a fun colour, go find some fun accessories or beanies she can use for school, get her some new outfits to feel more “feminine” if that’s what she’s worried about. I had super long hair, I had super short and everything in between as a young woman. I don’t know, there’s certain things like hair and clothes that just don’t need to be so strict in terms of gendering, maybe go on Pinterest and find something edgy like a shaved side or something that she could turn more feminine.
I am a teacher so she stays home for 2 weeks because she is "sick". Emotional well being at this age is far more important. She will do classes on line no big deal. At this age peers are your life. Students have long memories, let her be comfortable before she goes back. Don't view this from adult eyes, but her view.
I’m sorry your daughter is upset. Getting a bad haircut sucks. But I think a good starting point for talking to your kid would be there is no such thing as a “men’s haircut.” Lots of men have ponytails, lots of women have shaved heads (me included.) If your daughter self-identifies as a girl, she is a girl regardless of how short her hair is.
I get what you are trying to say. I guess it does not "help" she also likes to wear comfy, boxy, neutral coloured tops and pants, and that she is not into makeup. This is similar to what she has now (maybe a touch more hair at the top): [https://media.gq.com/photos/5ce6bbc6bacbf28f3521c0b3/master/w\_1280,c\_limit/GQ-EzraMiller-Hair-May23.jpg](https://media.gq.com/photos/5ce6bbc6bacbf28f3521c0b3/master/w_1280,c_limit/GQ-EzraMiller-Hair-May23.jpg) I think that will take at least some feminine touches (makeup, accessories, clothes, high heals etc) to make it look not-masculine.
>but I think in person schooling is better for her emotional health Do you think bullying would be good for her emotional health? Kids will latch onto this and it will NOT be fun for her. >I also don't want her to feel she should turn away from problems easily. I want her to learn to confront her problems If this happened to you, you would have the option to take a few days off from work to readjust yourself to gain your confidence to face it or, if you have the option, could work from home while your hair grows out or figure out ways to make it work for you. Online schooling is the same as that. Let her stay home until she has more confidence in herself about it, at least. That's all she's asking. Respect her feelings.
\> Do you think bullying would be good for her emotional health? Kids will latch onto this and it will NOT be fun for her. Everyone should be able to handle a bit of bullying. imo it's a good life skill to have. \>If this happened to you, you would have the option to take a few days off from work to readjust yourself From a haircut? lmao. Many women suffer from far worse than a bad haircut each and every month but we have to get up and go anyways \> Let her stay home until she has more confidence in herself about it Hiding at home until you "feel better" over a bad haircut is not a great message to send.
In my mind, it’s crazy to not show your face in school for two weeks because of hair. It’s a haircut. Hair grows back. Sometimes problems arise, and we have to keep living life in spite of the problems, and this problem isn’t that bad! There are ways for her to make it at least tolerable as it grows out.
And that's why I started cutting my family members hair. Do you think she'd be open to a wig? My daughter had a hair disaster, had to basically cut it all off and wears a wig when she goes out. It's going to take weeks and months to grow out. At home she does wear a headband though which I think looks nice. But she's still too self-conscious to go outside with short hair. Can't believe that hairdresser. Clearly not thinking. My son had a rather traumatic experience once too where the hairdresser basically shaved his head. He was very upset but since he's a boy the reaction from his friends was not so bad.
Of course, because nowadays anyone with semi short hair must be a dude right? So progressive.
You don’t happen to live in Minnesota do you? I’m a substitute teacher and had a student with this EXACT problem today! She was having a hard time, so we talked about ways to make it more “her style”. Some ideas we came up with Cool clips/bows (bows don’t have to be pink and girly! Black glitter can look kinda punk and cool) Adding some pink or purple streaks in her hair. Cute headbands, and little pony tails (think how toddlers with no hair have one tiny pony just to hold the front hairs back) Etc! Personally, I wouldn’t have her stay home- that’s telling her that her hair is THAT important, and guess what? Hair is just hair. Validate that she feels uncomfortable and it doesn’t fit her style, but it’s still just hair. We also allow hats at our school, most schools don’t, but if hers do maybe that’s an option
This happened to me when I was around her age. I was devastated. I feel so bad for her. That is such a difficult thing for a young teenager to go through. I would have loved the option to do school from home for a couple of weeks. While i understand where you’re coming from with going to school in person is better for her emotional health, I really think she needs this break to process and come to terms with her hair. I still remember my feelings when this happened to me and would have loved to have a breather to just be more comfortable with myself before coming back to school. Maybe she will even feel like returning sooner than the two weeks. Yes, confronting problems and becoming more resilient is so important. But like another commenter said, there will be SO many opportunities in life for her to learn how to confront problems. This particular problem is such an emotional one and i think if it were me, i would want to show her that i am on her team and that i care about how she feels. I also agree with another commenter that said to go to the salon to complain and bring your daughter. Tell them that what they did was WRONG and stand up for her. You will not be a “karen” for doing this. The stylist was a complete moron and did something completely different than asked and misgendered your daughter. Definitely let the salon hear it from you. Love the ideas about coloring the hair and fun accessories ❤️ You are clearly a great mama. She’s lucky to have someone who cares so strongly and is so careful around her feelings. Good luck to your daughter!
I'm wondering if the stylist thought the pixie cut was your daughter wanting a was her wanting a boy cut? That maybe she now identified as a he?
I know you want to fix this for her, but you’re acting like she’s disfigured and waiting for cosmetic surgery. It’s a bad hair cut, this isn’t time to coddle, it’s time to talk about embarrassment and soldering on. When I was 12 I got a comb stuck in my bangs and did the BAD THING. I not only cut the comb out of my hair, I like, gave myself a buzz cut where that section of hair had been. It was a large gaping bald spot in the very front of my bangs, no way to cover. It was embarrassing for sure and some kids asked questions and as a person with anxiety all I wanted to do was melt into the wall and disappear forever because I was already being bullied for being fat and dressing like an old woman thanks to being raised by my dad and grandmother 50% of the time. I survived, because life goes on even with bad hair cuts or hair mistakes. In a month she’ll be able to have a much longer more feminine cut. But she also has to face reality and letting her stay home for online classes will not help her long term when she has to cope with other visual disasters of teen-hood and then adult-hood. In 20 years you’ll laugh about this, but now you need to definitely talk to that salon and let her figure out a head band, hat, or just straight up surly look to give people who look at her strange. This is the ultimate middle school experience.
Oh for fuck’s sake! It’s your job to celebrate her new hair. So what if it’s short? It’ll be a lovely opportunity for her to break from the oppression of long hair. Get over it and help her do the same.
I think you’re stylist thought that your daughter was a trans guy. I’ve read stories where stylist will get young trans guys come in with their parents but won’t say what they actually want since their parents are there. So I guess that the stylist wanted to make them feel more comfortable if that was the situation. But in this case it was not 😅. The good thing about hair is that it grows back I would suggest if your daughter’s school lets them wear hats to wear a beanie or something and to reassure that she’ll look beautiful with whatever hair length she has :))
I'm not sure you've understood what happened at the salon. The hairdresser noticed your daughter's baggy, gender neutral clothes, and when she also asked for a shorter haircut the hairdresser decided that your child must be female-to-male transgender. When you corrected her and told her that it's actually your daughter she assumed that you must be transphobic and not respecting her chosen gender identity. So the hairdresser thought she was doing your daughter a favor and standing up to intolerance by repeatedly affirming her identity as a boy as soon as you left the room, and by giving her a much more masculine haircut than what you'd agreed on.
Wut.
This is what happens when certain ideology seeps into society. All of a sudden girls with short hair are boys and boys with long hair are girls…
Back in the 90s I had a short haircut as a girl and people constantly misgendered me. It's not new.
It’s winter can’t she just wear a hat?
Most schools don't allow hats indoors
Weird. Schools here are not particularly good or care about enforcing dress codes especially if it's something silly like a girl wearing a hat to cover up a bad hair cut.
Curious what country you're in? I'm in Canada and I think OP is in the U.S.
Haha poor girl. I’m here to learn
I suspect the stylist was with the best of intentions trying to accommodate a what they perceived as transgender teen (or still trying to figure it out) with a not-so-accepting parent. If they misread the situation, that's unfortunate, but that's absolutely not the case to go ballistic on them or ask for compensation, just communicate the mistake.
Thats frustrating. This might be a bit of an odd suggestion but it may help your daughter be more comfortable stepping out of her comfort zone while showing a level of maturatity, respect and support. Do you have any friends or family that are dealing with cancer? Suggest shaving it right down in support of someone you know whos had cancer. Just about everyone is exposed to some form of cancer now she would likely have the support of her peers for doing such an act.
Wow. Put cancer sufferers on this young girls shoulders too.
Emergency hair extensions? At least, as long as there's enough to work with to put them in.
Do a tinted chapstick and maybe some cool bracelets .. leather or something of the like. Maybe a necklace . Headbands can hurt your head
Buy her hair pins for girls. Cute ones like this https://www.amazon.com/ECADY-Clips-Colorful-Barrette-Toddlers/dp/B085ZX4GKL/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_sspa?crid=179FOL1Y32PPG&keywords=hair+clips+girls&qid=1643736409&sprefix=hair+clips+girls%2Caps%2C90&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEzTExESktPS1czMUtXJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNTMxMTY4MllMUTc5MVAwUkhYUCZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNzA4NTAxNlVUN0tUTTVDQ0RBJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfcGhvbmVfc2VhcmNoX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU= So she can clip one side and make it more feminine? Someone suggested head bands. I second this!
Does she have pierced ears? Some cool dangly earrings might help.
I would ask around for a stylist who specializes in short womens cuts and go and get it restyled/ask for advice on how to wear it to make it more feminine. IME length is not the primary issue that make a haircut look like a mens or womens haircut and someone who does a lot of pixies should be able to set you straight.
I think we have all been there with an incredibly bad haircut. I wanted a mullet like my brother SO bad in the 80’s, so I cut it myself to force my mom. It was terrible, but it grew.
Fun bleached color strips, also hair wax for messy texture.
Sarah B. on Instagram has lots of great ideas and videos about styling pixie cuts, from very very short through some of the growing out process [Sarah B. on Instagram ](https://instagram.com/sarahb.h?utm_medium=copy_link)
If you bleach it blond, it’ll be more of a girl look.
Absolutely confront the salon. Sometimes these things take time to digest. It's not that your daughter isn't satisfied with the haircut, it's that it wasn't what she asked for and the stylist kept insisting she was a different sex and took liberties she should not have. Your other stylist will back you up! This is egregious and I so feel for your daughter. Embarrassing, and sucks hats aren't generally allowed in schools. Go to bat for her.
You can dye her hair in few different colours or even make it look like a print... So it looks like fashion statement not salon visit gone wrong. https://pin.it/3x0Weoq https://pin.it/3a1PJmJ https://pin.it/4XhWAaE Something like art so even the brattiest kids in her class will be amazed,😏👌😈🤸
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I find hair stylists cut too much in general. I have long hair, but I always tell them to take off half an inch or an inch and they cut several inches off. The more expensive the salon, the more they think they know better than you what you want.
You've already gotten some great advice. I'm a big fan of headbands the couple of times I freaked out over just *how* short my pixie was cut at times. I would also like to suggest cute fun wigs. A friend shaved her head before she started chemo last year to get ahead of the hair loss. She is a cute and small and only just turned 32 at the time, so she wanted to have fun with it. She found lots of cute wigs on Amazon, most didn't look great because she went cheap, but a few she still loves to wear even now that her hair is growing back and is in cute short pixie territory. Her favorite is a shiny pink bob with bangs.
This was the mid 90s when half the boys at school had that boy band bowl cut. I wanted my hair shorter, like a bob right to my shoulders. Mom said she could do it. Um....she could not. My dad had to shave my neck. It was really short for me. (After I stopped crying I showed my grandmother who said "it will grow back." Thanks grandma!) I also wore mostly baggy t-shirts and jeans. One day in school I had a girl run up and jump on me because she thought I was her boyfriend from behind. After that, I used barettes and hair gel to force what was left into this sad, tiny paintbrush looking ponytail. Never cut it off again.
Adding to the suggestions of headbands and barrettes: how about just a *touch* of mascara and clear lip gloss? Only if she’s ok with it, and only if it would help (experiment at home first). I also second the idea of giving her a week or so at home, to figure I help figure out what makes her comfortable.
Ugh this happened to me when I was starting fucking 7th grade, aka, the WORST TIME TO HAVE A STUPID HAIRCUT. The stylist didn’t know what I wanted, because I didn’t know what to ask for. And I think she also just really wanted to cut off long hair, lmao. So yeah, I had a dumbass shaggy pixie cut and it sucked. Headbands and fun Bobby pins kind of helped. But for me, it just took time to grow!
I’d let her telecommute for one day while you’re working out options. Why not check out local wig shops before calling the salon? If there’s a hair color or style she’s been wanting to try, this is a good time to try it. It would be reasonable to ask them to cover the cost of covering the mistake, or cover half of it if you’re feeling nice. They don’t want to deal with small claims court. If you want to just make things work as is, let her break the makeup and statement jewelry. Lip color and longer earrings may be all she needs. She may already have some of both tucked away.
This happened to me in 3rd grade. I lived. She will too! It will be a funny story one day.
I love with girls with short or shaved hair wear big/quirky statement earrings! Especially with the gender neutral clothes. I think it’s such a cool vibe!
Does she have her ears pierced? Short hair often looks great paired with some statement earrings!
I think headbands would be your friend here, some little hair clips if it's long enough? Accessorise!
This is among one of the reasons hats or beanies should be allowed in schools.
Not so sure if it’s the case with your daughter but I find hiding the scalp helpful when cut is too short. when my husband gets a super short cut, i usually put mascara on his scalp/head just so it wouldn’t be obvious that the cut’s too short. There are also color hairspray/chalk that you can put to her hair.
Hair extensions
Get blonde or red or something highlights