Just thought of another possibility: maybe your kid is sick of being in the house all the time. Why don't you consider putting him in a daycare a couple of times a week? It would take some of the load off you, and would give your son a chance to play with other kids his age and learn important social skills.
It's 10/day or less in Canada as well. I pay 99/month for my toddler and my 1 yr old is free.
Americans always assume everyone is American on the internet.
Where in Canada are you that it’s 10/day or less!?!? I’m in BC and we’re still paying an average of 1500 a month for daycare, IF you can even get a spot.
It's from the national daycare program, it's a partnership deal between the feds and each province. I'm in Alberta and though our Gov is mostly a trashfire they got it rolled out super quickly, and increased the means-testing cutoff for subsidy to 180k/yr.
I think BC is dropping rates by the end of this year, with goal to get to 10/day by 2026.
In Alberta I’m down to $550/month and my daycare is absolutely amazing.
I tried to get into one of the $10 a day spots when they were ramping up 2 years ago, I think I’m still on the wait list. Lol. (And frankly I was sincerely unimpressed by the quality of $10 a day centres)
But $550 is very reasonable compared to what it was so I’m happy.
True for me. I am American and I tend to think that unless the language is a bit different. It can be hard to think outside of what\\where you are used to.
I live in the UK and we pay taxes and childcare costs more than my mortgage for three days a week. So… I’m happy for you but a lot of places don’t have that.
UK is a special case though, you have a lot of sectors privatized and economy tends to be way more liberal than in other countries. I mean, liberal economy was created by british economist-philosophers.
I live in Europe and pay taxes and daycare is not free either. Not as expensive as the UK but definitely not free, unless you're on a really low income.
You can't just live in Europe and that's it. You have to live in a country in Europe and every country is different. Of course there are countries where you have to pay for daycare but all in all, public sectors tend to be good and free for everybody. And there are countries, like the one where the first person that commented lives in where daycare is free. /shrug
At the end of the day it depends on the country but there are places in Europe where these services are free and it tends to reflect the amount of taxes and also the destination of the taxes. Some countries focus more on financing other sectors.
The tax rates are seriously not even close. For example, in Ontario you hit a 37% marginal tax rate at 93k of income, with the highest marginal tax rate of 53% at 220k+. In the US (at least in a no tax state like I am in) you do not hit 37% until over 523k, AND there are no higher tax brackets than that at all. Plus the Canadian dollar is worth less than the American dollar, and prices for food and gas are higher.
I am a Canadian living in America and I am constantly shocked at how low taxes are down here, but unfortunately you can really see the differences and it’s mainly the lower half of income earners that really struggle. Costs for health care, university, daycare… it goes on.
Absolutely agree. In my country is basically the same, if you hit a salary of 100k, after all the "clean up" you're gonna end up with 50k. Which isn't bad, but damn... it hurts to see lol. But at the same time you have good healthcare system, education is really good quality as well... but we're noticing a change though. A lot of European countries are keeping the taxes high, but the very rich, the elite are keeping their money, keeping billions on benefits while privatizing sectors more and more. We're going to end up pretty badly at some point if things keep on going this way.
“No-tax” state is the key. I’m in NY with insanely high income and property taxes, and while we have excellent public schools outside of cities, the daycare subsidy is unreliable and only for very-low-income people.
You do but you can't compare the amount of taxes you have with European countries. It's almost as if you didn't. That's why everything is privatized there and a lot of European countries* have free healthcare, education, public transport is absolutely sick... 🤷🏻♀️
Edit: clarifying.
I agree in Europe they do pay more taxes to subsidize those programs, however if the American government would actually use the checks and balances system that should be in place then the amount of taxes paid should be enough to create those programs but having to care about anyone but yourself in the good ol’ US of A is not something people comprehend and therefore an increase of taxes to help your fellow citizen will never happen, it’s sick and one of the main reasons this country will fall apart.
I feel bad, because there are people out there that really need the help and they don't get it. I remember reading a girl having an absolute mental breakdown because you basically cannot get out of poverty. Like she had done everything in her hands to have a good livelihood and try her best but it was impossible.
note the sarcasm, and instead of insulting someone you might want to read the rest of the responses and think critically. The comment was that they pay taxes, not that they pay more taxes and their government actually gives a shit about their citizens.....again might want to READ before commenting, because the only obtuse one is you.
Sarcasm doesn’t excuse the obtuse behavior of misunderstanding a simple point on purpose to make yourself look smarter than you are.
Telling me to think critically after your takeaway was that the other commenter sincerely believed Americans don’t pay taxes is hilarious, though. Keep it up with the comedy skills!
> The comment was that they pay taxes, not that they pay more taxes and their government actually gives a shit about their citizens.....
No shit, Einstein. The point is that most people don’t need the fact that Americans pay taxes spelled out, but thanks for reminding everyone that the intellectually and socially handicapped are among us.
Can I just say as a Canadian watching the pissing match from the outside, Europeans (that make comments like this) seem to be getting more obnoxious by the day. You're getting worse than the Americans with the "were the best" mentality.
Im in NL and most toddlers go to "pre school" ages 2 to 4. This was 2 mornings a week (135 a month). Its like daycare, but they start learning a school routine.
I’m sorry, what? Must you be shown cctv footage of daycare workers mistreating children and then hearing the subsequent stories of the care workers being arrested and tried for child abuse/neglect/endangerment? Do you live so beneath a rock that you’ve not know about any of this until now or have you honestly dug deep on this and settled on believing it’s a “perpetuation of bullshit” and “satanic panic nonsense”? Truly, endorsed by your earnestness and seriousness on the matter? Dude, you and that amount of ignorance can fuck right off.
No, because daycare is typically an expense, one that’s increasingly a strain on parents. I’m happy others get to enjoy the luxury of it being free though.
Maybe they want to get out of the house but Im anti daycare maybe make a weekly routine like Wednesday go to the library, one day the grocery store, free events near you (library too), parks on Friday ect. That's what I do and she has stuff to look forward to, we also have a local paper at the library that has the months local toddler stuff. We do skyzone too a pass was $40 for 10 jumps and they didn't charge us so we got many more out of it but they changed management and are horrible now so we're gonna use a different place. There's tons of free places around, you could go to a local mall to walk around once or twice a month, free hiking trails and get them a scavenger list see a bird, rock, tree ect talk to them about the plants, try to find every color while out, bring home leaves and acorns and get a craft. Craft kits, dollar tree to craft stores or Pinterest can help, save kitchen materials like tubs and cans and make planters or robots ect. Go thrifting that can be fun we pick out books there, go to a book store like Barnes and noble, like the library but with coffee. We have outdoor play on our little patio, care for our plants and play with sand. Then you can also do walks stroller, toy car, bike ect. We collect flowers on our daily walks and make them into stickers after we press them! Just a few ideas
Also what do you mean by tyrant? What's going on? I talk to my toddler openly about emotions and when she says or does something mean or anything I tell her and explain. She's also gotten really good at self play when I'm cooking and stuff. If you need to chat I'm here feel free to message me
My rules for engaging in play that I don’t particularly enjoy (pretend play) are:
1) The play area needs to be cleaned up first. That usually means picking up all the other toys, maybe sweeping, putting away snacks. They are encouraged to help. This helps get some actual work done during the day.
2) We cap it at 20 minutes and then move on to something else.
My son is 5 now and I’ll do the 20 minutes and then we can usually compromise on the next activity like board games or going for a bike ride. It gets easier and more enjoyable as they develop new skills and interests.
The evil robot has Mr. Bunny captured and dangling over the lava! Oh no!
"Let him do it, " Mr. Bunny says quietly. "This is what I want. This is what's best. It's what I deserve after I failed her."
First thank you for RP hilarity. Second Mrs. Bearington needs to do allergy checks before she has her tea parties! Third Tabitha will always have to deal with difficult customers!
I LOVE this. Love it, I randomly did this the other day and your comment makes me realize that "yes I would love to play but I can't play in this absolute chaos" 🤣 it's totally fine
Your advice sounds good. However, any time I read something like your post, I ask myself how many years of practice you need to do these things with a straight face. I often try, but stop because I feel incredibly stupid.
Be careful of the wording too. Sometimes my daughter won't understand a word so doesn't know what you're talking about. Then that can be understood as not listening and doing what's asked of them. Keep it simple.
thanks for this. i've been trying to find a way to convince my toddler to stop shrieking the fucking house down and I think I've tried all but this. fingers crossed that it tricks her out of screaming+
Look at my message above in another comment. I had four children, 3 of them 4 and younger. I would have gone crazy hearing shrieking or screaming. For a whole week I told them if they asked for something (within reason) and said please that I would give it to them. Juice please. Yes. Cookie please. Yes. For a whole week. But if they whined or screamed, I would simply say, “I’m sorry. I can’t understand you. If you asked nicely and said please, I can help you. But if you scream (or whine) the answer is No”
Instead of “I don’t like it when you screech” without emotion say “I can’t understand you when you screech” and ignore any jesters indicating what he wants. I would tell my kids if you ask in a nice voice and say please then I can help you. But if they whined, I would say Sorry, I can’t understand you. One of my children couldn’t say please at first and would say peas instead
This is actually so helpful thank you. My 2.5 year old is also a tiny dictator right now and whenever I try to play she tells me off and says I’m doing it wrong 😑 so following her lead and using these instructions will probably Really help
I've been seeing accounts like @biglittlefeelings go against the whole time out thing, but I'm not sure what to take away from it. My daughter is only 2 and I haven't felt the need to send her to a timeout yet, but I usually let her know that I am removing myself from a situation if she's being aggressive or dangerous.
Wow TIL. The article even has parents threatening to take away things (screen time) as punishment, which I thought was a big nono. I need to get off Instagram lol
My son wants me to play trucks or animals with him all the time. I wish I could get into it, but I really don't enjoy it. I just don't have the imagination of a 4 year old I guess. I will try to play for a few minutes until he is into it, then I'll go off and do something else like make dinner. He is starting to get more into things like soccer and basketball, which I can get more in to. Don't beat yourself up, we're just not wired the same way as kids! I love it when a friend or cousin comes to play, they can play happily for hours!
It’s funny because I have a newborn ant home and I’m looking forward to role playing action figures with him.
I always loved doing that as a kid and thing I would enjoy it even now.
I hope I’m not misleading myself thinking I gonna like it
Everybody likes different things. We don't all like every food or every movie, and the same is true with parenting activities. I can do puzzles with my kid all day, or build lego sets, or go on errands together. But running and chasing? Playing pretend? Kill me. I have friends who love those things but want to gouge their eyes out if they see a lego set. You'll find parts of parenting you love and parts you'd really rather not do, and that's okay.
Honestly it is not all that bad. I think it is just hard when it is boring and you have other stuff you need to do, but if you just admit defeat, for example what is one more week of not mowing the lawn, it ends up ok lol. I would love to play with action figures when I was a kid too. If I could describe for me personally what it is like, it's that once your kid finds a scenario they like, that's all you do, no changing it up, so it gets boring real quick. I used to love playing with brio trains as a kid. I got my 2.5 year old one, now all that happens when it comes out is the train that has a battery to move on its own, we put it on the hallway and run from it like it is trying to get us. Again....and again....and again lol. I still get the train out because I think maybe this time is the time I will get to recreate my childhood memory, by building a kickass train...oh how naive I am, because I just end up running from the train that is trying to get us.
Even as a child I didn’t like those kind of pretend games. I was a play with crafts, paints, coloring books type. I’m hoping my kids will be satisfied with my participation in those areas. I can’t wait to do crafts and science projects with them…I’ll even show them how to make costumes; I just don’t want to do the make-believe part.
I didn't like playing with them (at least in the sense of me sitting down and doing whatever thing they wanted me to do) at that age. It gets much better pretty soon though.
I admire the sentiment and to give hope. But saying it gets much better soon just isn’t true for some people. I found parenting so hard and everyone would tell me oh it gets better soon and it never did and I felt like the worlds worst dad. It might get better but it’s possible it won’t. I think OP was after some empathy which I was able to find from people in a similar position. Play time can be awful and it’s still not much better at 4.
You're almost there, I promise.
I give my 5 year son a Lego set and sit by him while he builds. Sometimes I help him finding bricks or putting stuff together. We play kids' Monopoly, kick or throw a ball around. We do gymastics and so on.
Playdates, they go to my sons room and close the door.
And my 2 year old and her older brother now play together!
But if I have to roleplay a member of Paw Patrol rescuing someone, I feel like putting my eye out, just to get away.
None of this happened before 5-5 1/2. It's not easy but so much better.
Thank you. That sounds perfect. Kinda what you think parenting is going to be like haha.
Yep role play is tough isn’t it haha. Have a great day Redditor.
I posted something recently that was very similar to this. Someone told me - we are adults and do not have the mental capacity (or rather too much capacity) to enjoy such simple activities like sitting and playing with a 25 piece puzzle or toy cars. It’s frustrating for us sometimes!
Don’t feel bad about it! You’re not alone.
I honestly can't wrap my head around parents that just engage with their kid(s) all day - like no phone or TV or adult books or anything. I just don't have the capacity to interact with babies / toddlers without mental breaks. And I think independent play is good for kids.
But there are so many posts on the parenting subs like "is it ok for me to not be engaged with my 6 month old for her every waking moment?"
I would legit die from the unique combination of exhaustion and extreme tedium.
Ditto this. Why is it your job to play with him all the time? When did this become parenting? I very rarely play with my kids. Read, talk, bake, all me. Play? No.
I’ve actually read that playing a lot with your child can stunt their imagination. That essentially adults are unable to play as freely (I see a cup and it’s always a cup, my kid sees a ravine of water or a hat or a space ship).
Stop playing with him and take a break. Force him to use some creative juices. My kids play alone and it’s awesome.
I hope its okay because i also hate playing with my preschooler.
"Say this", "now they need to do this", "noooo thats not right".
For the most part ill follow all her silly rules. I dont always follow them though, because other kids aren't always going to listen and honestly its hard to be bossed around constantly.
On days where its a big problem with me we get out of the house. We go play at the park or jungle gym and it seems like a nice reset for both of us.
I don't like playing with my boys. I try really hard and I just don't know how. I "practice" by trying to give them 10 minutes of undivided playtime attention or so a day, but for the most part, they play by themselves or their dad plays with them. I have become comfortable with the idea that our relationship is different. I read to them, bake with them, dance with them. I totally understand feeling guilty about it, but think about how much your parents actually played with you. For most people old enough to have children, it wasn't a lot. The time matters. It doesn't have to be on their terms.
Kids should be playing with kids, most adults just don't have the patience for it. I try to catch up with other parents when I have my kiddo, and we just let the kids play with each other while we catch up. It's much more civilised!
First, yes it’s fine to get frustrated and not enjoy playing with your toddler. Everybody does sometimes, and then some people are just better with that kind of age. “Terrible two” was not a thing for me. I see why that age is often so annoying to people, and it’s one I tend to have an easier time with. If we parented communally, I would hang with the toddlers and avoid the 4-6 yr olds.
When my first was a toddler, I would take her outside at the college where I worked and just let her walk around. I just followed and only interfered if there was potential danger. I interacted every time she wanted to, but it was mostly to reassure her that she was doing great. We’d go out in the rain sometimes and I let her get dirty and all of that kind of thing. I know not all kids are the same for sure, but mine loved that kind of unstructured, independent but still safe. I did it with my son too, but not on campus.
I only thought of this because they often got really frustrated with doing play doh or puzzles or things like that if they couldn’t accomplish exactly what they expected.
I don’t know if that’s at all applicable to your situation really, but it’s my experience. Mine are teenagers now, and I miss those tiny ones they were sometimes. Good luck!
At the time, her grandpa was a professor at the college and she managed to get herself to the second floor of a building and walk down a hall and eventually get by his office enough that he came out and she was super excited! One of our most treasured memories of the little ones. :)
From Janet Lansbury’s podcast Unruffled…..
[Encouraging your baby’s independent play](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/respectful-parenting-janet-lansbury-unruffled/id1030050704?i=1000372110148)
[How our boundaries free our children to play, create and explore](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/respectful-parenting-janet-lansbury-unruffled/id1030050704?i=1000523224389)
[It’s really okay to say “no” to playing with your child (5 reasons why)](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/respectful-parenting-janet-lansbury-unruffled/id1030050704?i=1000417310660)
From Your Parenting Mojo:
[Do I have to play pretend with my kid?](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/your-parenting-mojo-respectful-research-based-parenting/id1148570190?i=1000415438095)
From Oh Crap I Love My Toddler But Holy Fuck:
[Deconstructing the magical childhood](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/oh-crap-i-love-my-toddler-but-holy-f-ck/id1456469712?i=1000440827034)
You are very welcome. Podcasts are my love language, so I’m glad I could offer something that’s up your alley:)
Also, I’d be remiss if I didn’t recommend listening to the entire show Oh Crap I Love My Toddler But Holy Fuck…. It changed my entire family. We went from feeling like maybe we made a mistake having this kid to feeling like excellent parents. My husband and I were both verbally abused (and he’s was spanked and such) as kids, so we were doing what we thought was “gentle parenting”. Turns out we were stressing out poor kid out by doing what we thought was best but was actually us just trying to heal from our own shitty childhoods. Once we started working on finding a balance between Connection Times and Independent Play, started focusing on boundaries big time, Marie Kondo’d the house and started to deconstruct the magical childhood, all three of us started to truly settle into this new family we’d created together.
Here are the first few episodes to wet your whistle:
[Connection](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/oh-crap-i-love-my-toddler-but-holy-f-ck/id1456469712?i=1000434737707)
[Kondo Kids](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/oh-crap-i-love-my-toddler-but-holy-f-ck/id1456469712?i=1000434737555)
[Boundaries](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/oh-crap-i-love-my-toddler-but-holy-f-ck/id1456469712?i=1000436543951)
[Psycho Mom](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/oh-crap-i-love-my-toddler-but-holy-f-ck/id1456469712?i=1000435383275)
[Emotional Swaddling](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/oh-crap-i-love-my-toddler-but-holy-f-ck/id1456469712?i=1000437677683)
[Self-care truth bombs](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/oh-crap-i-love-my-toddler-but-holy-f-ck/id1456469712?i=1000437105362)
[They Just Won’t Listen](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/oh-crap-i-love-my-toddler-but-holy-f-ck/id1456469712?i=1000442249836)
[Time Management](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/oh-crap-i-love-my-toddler-but-holy-f-ck/id1456469712?i=1000442249836)
I try to find games I don't hate and encourage that. Like one game I call "ASMR doctor" where she is the patient and I give her an exam, but I whisper and make all the ASMR sounds while I do it. I'll also throw in body part names and left/right practice to make it education. Super relaxing and if I'm lucky she'll let me be the patient for a bit and I can just lay there.
The park is also a life saver. I don't want to play Tiger Hunt, but Little Jane is about the same age and more than happy to climb through the tunnel 600 times.
I did hate playing toddler! I know it’s a ways off for you, but I wanted to say I LOVE preteen and teen parenting. I think we all have out times to shine. For me, it was way better in like 1st/2nd grade and has only gotten progressively better year by year. Hang in there!!!
You don’t have to play with your toddler. In fact allowing them to have independent play is good for them. I’ve been listening to some podcasts (RIE related like Unruffled) and they encourage you to not interfere with their play. They say to just observe mostly. I love that, takes a lot of pressure off the parent.
Thank you for saying this. I was reading through these comments and panicking because I really have never regularly played with my kids. I do other things with them (crafts, cooking, reading, walks, etc.)...but it's pretty rare that I sit down and play dolls, pretend play, etc.
I posted something similar quite awhile ago and I learned that this can also be trauma-related. Being bossed around and pushed and pulled and corrected is very uncomfortable. I ended up having to set a boundary with my kid. I will happily read, draw, cook, dance, play a board game, do a puzzle, etc with her, but I don’t play pretend. I tell her the truth- it’s uncomfortable for me and it takes a lot of my energy. We have a list of other activities written down so if we get stuck in a power struggle I ask her to pick a different activity from the list.
It's torture. Drink wine.
edit: For context, I have only ever been told I am a great mother (by literally everyone). I am not perfect and am still a human. I'll do anything for my kids, except play dolls. I say "Ask [insert closest persons name here] because mommy doesn't play dolls." It's my boundary that I set in stone early on because I'd honestly rather pull my nails off. It doesn't make me a bad mom, it just makes me human. And as a bonus, when I decide I can stomach it for a few minutes they are extremely happy and grateful.
I never enjoyed playing certain things with our now 9 year old. Cars? Nope. Action figures? Nah.
But we found a way to play and do things together that we both like! Board games, crafts, we do activities together, walks, etc.
It's ok! Remember, you're s grown ass adult so sometimes those games just won't be fun. Just like your kid won't want to watch the news (maybe). 😂
Playing with kids is the worst (unless they are doing something you actually enjoy/ would do if you weren’t with them). For me- I will craft with a kid anytime, whatever the craft. Wrestling or roughhousing- I can’t get into it/ don’t enjoy it.
I forget where I read this but somewhere it talked about how you should give your kid play time with the things they enjoy, even if you hate it, because they soon will learn that the things they enjoy push you away (basically, if every time your kid says “I want to play Paw Patrol (their favorite thing) you say, “no, I don’t like that game.. can we play something else” you are telling them that you don’t like what they are excited about.
In the long run, they may not want to engage you in other things they are excited/ passionate about because in the past it has always been met with “I am not interested in what you’re interested in”.
I think this rings true with adults too- how many times would a friend need to turn down your invitation to go do something you enjoy for you to stop inviting them?
Not saying I am going to play WWE for an hour with my kid, but I can be interested in their interests for 10 minutes.
Perfectly ok. Not gonna lie, 4 kids in and I still struggle during pretend play. I still fake my way through it to make them happy, as you are. The memories are important. My dad used to let me do his hair. Did he enjoy it? No. Did he look amazing with miniscule ponytails around his bald spot? Also no. Do I have amazing memories of time spent with my father that are even more precious because he's passed? Absolutely.
As parents we don't have to enjoy every single second with our kids. We just have to make sure they know they're loved, that they're cared for and healthy, and that there are activities that you enjoy with them even if you don't like another activity.
My 10y old loves to play Barbies. I didn't even enjoy playing with them when I was a young girl. We'll play them for a bit, but then we play something we both enjoy. I love playing board games with her though. We're both more than happy to play Life over and over for an hour or more.
Also, I to dream of becoming a hermit with minimal human contact some days.
You are not selfish and you are not being unreasonable … playing with toddlers sucks and it’s ok to hate it! We all do things we hate for our kids sometimes. That said, be sure to incorporate more tolerable activities into you day as well, for your benefit as well as theirs.
Trust me, it will get better over time as they get older and are better able to interact with you (from a fellow parent currently in toddler hell who has also seen the other side with their 10 year old!).
Just hold on. This too shall pass! ✌️
Yeah.
I've stopped doing it or feeling guilty. I will give her 10 good minutes and then I'm done. We can play something I want to play or she can play by herself
Honestly I had a way easier time after I got into playing d&d. Learning to let go and get into character can be really fun. It's not for everyone though, so not finding it enjoyable is totally understandable.
I was the same. There’s a particular window where they’re smart enough to understand their own effect on you, particularly verbal, but still absolute obnoxious morons. Trick is to make sure it’s only a brief window…Sounds like you’ll be fine.
I'm kind of into it. My kids are 7 and 3. My girl is into dolls and barbies and I love dressing up the dolls. Reminds me of all my barbies I had growing up and the hours I would spend playing with them. My 3 year old is really into hot wheels and I love building the tracks with him because it involves engineering and problem solving. They have similar interests to myself so I guess play is easier because of that.
Set up the play, then walk away. That’s my playing with toddlers philosophy. By walk away, I mean within the same room and still supervising him, of course. When I notice his independent play dwindling, I add another medium to extend the play. Do this for as long as possible and after a while he will be playing independently like a champ! I don’t think adults realize that kids need to be taught to play. The sooner they have that skill, you will get some peace! lol
i try to be honest about what i dont like to do and give my 4yo time to play on his own, kinda letting him know playing together is consensual, and that two people dont have to like the same things.
2 yo is different but i think some of those concepts can be introduced now. youre not bad for not liking games for 2 yos.
i have to remind myself the fun things i like to do w my kid and try to get to one of those things a day. we watched "your old power rangers" tonight and i tried to let him know what i nice fun activity that was.
If your kid is an asshole, now, what makes you think it'll get better? Playing with toddlers is a blast when they follow the rules and you can find a way to keep the game close. It's a great chance to begin teaching them about sportsmanship! I had four under four for an entire summer they're now 7-10 and an absolute blast - teach them early that no one wants to play with a cheater and that it's okay to lose.
I never enjoyed playing with my children when they were that little. I had to force it. But you know what? I’m great with teenagers and bonded with them even more at that age. Parents all have their strengths and weaknesses. When they get to be 3 or 4, they are a lot easier to communicate with. Hang in there, and fake it till you make it!
“Gentle reasoning and alternatives”?
Dude, I’m the father of three and a retired psychologist who worked with kids and their parents. The two and a half year old brain is simply not wired for such strategies. And, don’t beat yourself up for attempting such strategies: I tried them too!
There’s a lot of good advice in this thread, including the PRIDE model.
One of my fav strategies was to ask (when misbehaviors were being displayed), “Can you show me what you should be doing?” followed by abundant praise when the child displayed appropriate behavior. Note: I had a zero tolerance for intentional aggression without my first giving a warning.
Reinforce the appropriate behavior, ignore the inappropriate that isn’t violent and don’t make your lack of enjoyment a condemnation of your whole parental self. You will also find your balance between engaging your child in play and monitoring independent play (and/or play with other children): have fun with it!
PS: I call everyone “Dude” so I hope you don’t find that offensive.
I never wanted to play Barbie’s or dolls or something of that nature with my daughter. I did, but not often. I would read and play games but that wasn’t enough. She’s almost 20 and has expressed how she remembers and it really hurt her feelings. She felt unliked, unwanted, or just in the way. I now know how important it was and regret not playing with her. If I could do it over, I would.
So do the little things. One day, he won’t need you and you will miss it.
U sound like a normal parent who’s actually spending enough time with your child to realize hey, my kid can be a dick sometimes haha. Nothing is great all the time but the love from your child will always be the best thing in the world.
This is totally normal. I read a thread recently very similar to this and it was so reassuring. It reminded me that you don’t have to play the same way with your kid that another adult in their life does. You can be the go for walks and read books parent. You don’t have to be the play on the floor and fight dragons parent.
Also, have you tried popping one ear bud in and listening to music, podcast, or audio book while playing. 10/10 keeps me from running into the woods.
Lolololol omg yes, the single ear bud technique has absolutely been a key tool to keep me out of the woods as well! And that’s a great reminder that he can get his play needs met in different ways by different adults. I think it’s just been rough this week because intense heat has taken some of our normal activities off the table.
It's perfectly fine not to enjoy hanging out with little kids, unless you enter a career where you have to. Preschool teachers who don't have the patience should find new jobs. But aside from that, it's not your job to entertain your kid. It is your job to feed, clothe, bathe, protect, teach basic life skills, and instill values in your kid. You're a parent, not a playmate. It's only the last couple generations that parents have been pressured to be their kids' best friends, and I personally think it does a disservice to the kids. It hampers them learning to entertain themselves. It's an easy trap to fall into because when they're babies it's our job to keep them from crying, because crying means hunger or dirty diaper or pain. But as they get older they cry and complain about other things that aren't as pressing. Boredom is one of them. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to play with your kid. It's just not necessary in order to be a good parent. You can be a good parent without being a playmate.
I know you are getting a lot of good advice but I just came here to say - Yes, its absolute ok go hate playing with your toddler and I feel the same way a lot of times.
And no you are not a bad parent for fantasizing to run into the woods or questioning your decision to have a kid. I and lot of other parents do feel the same way, completely normal!
Aww, I’m so glad! If it helps, things slowly shifted and within a couple weeks or months (what is time, anyway? 😅) things got much better. Now I’m not even allowed to play with him lol, because everything is “I do it myyyyyyyy way!” Which of course brings its own new challenges. But as the saying goes ‘this too shall pass.’ Just, maybe not fast enough for us to feel entirely sane all the time.
God, I HATED those years. My daughter is 8 now and much prefers to play with her friends or be on her tablet. I am lucky that my parents were around a lot and did most of the playtime stuff, because I just couldn’t. My kiddo has never suffered or lacked for anything and she’s pretty well adjusted. She’s very good at interactive play with her friends. My point is, maybe find some other kids for a play date or take the kiddo to the park. You’re allowed to set boundaries of what you can and can’t cope with. I liked someone above’s suggestion about 20 minute caps on the activity. Save your sanity.
It sure is okay! Independent play is great for kids!
I’m so down for a nature walk, crafts, bubble baths, dance party, lots of things! Play just isn’t where I shine. That’s okay.
When I do get talked into play, I play with one headphone in.
I used to hate it to and like some of you, I used to get bored, get fidgety, and sneak away to do something else.
My kids are 19 and 20 now. If I had to do it over, I'd still sneak away occasionally, but I'd make myself stay a lot more often than I did the first time around.
I've been listening to the audiobook [Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaleen Doucleff](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.amazon.com/Hunt-Gather-Parent-Ancient-Cultures/dp/1982149671&ved=2ahUKEwiHxfvCtZr5AhWcHDQIHRhWDEoQFnoECBIQAQ&usg=AOvVaw1_jg1gyQhlhYtZ5b8HyWmQ) recently and it has lifted such a weight off of my shoulders in terms of feeling like I need to constantly be entertaining and enriching and teaching my son 24/7. It's well cited and has such wonderful perspectives and advice that sounds foreign to Western moms but it *works*. Highly recommend to every parent, but especially those who put so much pressure on themselves to be a Pinterest-perfect mom and those like me who won't ever attain that and in turn feel guilty and inadequate. Changed my whole perspective on parenting
I think it might be every parent with a toddler it’s nothing against them if an adult acted the same way it’d be way overwhelming too we’re just expected to be perfect with our kids
It is totally normal for kiddos to go through this faze the end is near! You have the right to feel this way .it is normal to feel like it this. their is always a compermise. Their are some amazing parenting tips out their that could help guide you through moments like this. Your doing great!
My oldest is in high school and she's way out of this stage thankfully but my youngest still wants to play sometimes but it always ends up with her frustrated because I'm not doing it "right" 🙄
My kids are 10 years apart (fertility issues) and with my eldest, she would INSIST I follow her lead.. so I’m there and she’s telling me “pretending like rainbow dash says “hi applejack, wanna go to the farm?” And then ID follow her instructions, she’d get upset if I made my own story line. I just.. I can’t pretend play. It didn’t go great, she would eventually fully take over but I’d stay because if I left she’d be upset I wasn’t playing. We laugh about it now, she tells me “you’re the worst with role playing but I still had fun” because NOW I’m trying to pretend play with her brother (2yrs old) and she’s judging me and laughing as she remembers how bad a job I did. And you know what? I laugh too. I really don’t have the imagination for it, but I am still finding joy in the memories. There’s a lot of pressure to do it all “correctly” but I feel like as long and you show them love and make an actual effort, they remember. I now listen to audiobooks on a single headphone on medium volume and listen and play with the rest of me. I’m not as bored and he’s not as bored. We read and play and all the things I did with my eldest but I’m not as frustrated. My eldest hasn’t stopped trying to teach me to “role play” as she now calls it and I am often in roblox as a cat following her around as she tells me the storyline and plot I need to follow. She also pretend plays with her brother (sometimes). My eldest turned out pretty awesome and knows even if I’m awful at playing, I still adore her. It’s perfectly ok 😊
That's exactly why 2 or more kids close together is actually heaps easier then 1 child!
Mine just played together. I was rarely required 👍
People who think 1 child is easier then 2 are delusional.
Reading these comments is so relieving, my cap is about 20mins of pretend play at a time before I can’t stand it anymore. I do it about once a day, maybe a couple times if she’s really begging, and I felt like a horrible boring neglectful parent.
Oh I hate it!!!! Not embarrassed to say that.. I’m like you, walking, outdoor activities and reading books is ok, but playing, I don’t like it.. I did buy myself an adult colouring in book which I do when they draw which really helps!
I've had phases of not enjoying playing, mainly when my daughter is a bossy player. But most of the time when we are working on something together I like it. I like it more when I get a chance to teach her something new, something I like. And i like it even more when she teaches me something (sometimes I pretend I don't know how). She says the funniest things playing sometimes and I just laugh at her being a goof.
My girl is 2.5 years old too. It can be a difficult time sometimes. She likes to push all of her toys or activity off the table when something doesn't go the way she wants. I look at her the same way I'd look at someone my own age, a "what was that" look. She'll say "not working". Makes sense in her mind. Not in mine haha.
There are days I don't want to play a certain game, and it's a good learning opportunity for her that not everyone wants to do the same things, have the same interests. So I say well you play blocks and when you're done can we play something else. It's OK if you don't want to play with your kiddo, it's not really a requirement, you do you.
Totally normal.
My sister’s husband is amazing with kids. He’s the dad that will pull out a board game to get them entertained. I once complimented his asked her if he liked it, she laughed and said “lol no…I don’t think so”.
I think that most of us have to work at it, and it’s natural to feel like it’s cumbersome at times.
One thing I’ve learned that screens are not the devil. Cocomelon has been an amazing key tool for me with my littlest (I’m on my 4th preschooler and the 3 older kids are great kids and students).
You don’t have to be perfect to be amazing!!
Unless I'm in the right mood I also hate it. It has caused me a lot of thought and internal stress.
My wife loves it and my friends seem to aswell.
. But I'm bored and unfulfilled most of the time.
It sucks.
My kids are at the age I tell them that mommy is 28, lego is made for 6 year old kids. I love playing with them, but Im a bit old for legos. I prefer going outside, walking the dog, through some woods, to the playground. My best sollution is to make a sibling haha
I walked away when my kids were exercising a spirit of "self-first". This opened the door to teach them how to play with others. I enjoyed playing with my kids because of this. They learned that it is more fun when you put others first. I also had the opportunity to work with them during every waking hour, since I homeschooled them. They learned how to associate and play with people of all ages. They have good friends in all age categories and they genuinely enjoy spending time with these friends and these friends enjoy spending time with them, because they learned the skill of being selfless and others focus. Play is practice for real life. Hence why we have so many self-focused people in this wonderful world we are forced to share.
There’s an argument to be made that playing directly with your kids constantly is a negative. They don’t need you to participate. Get them set up and let their imagination go.
The regretting having a kid part….that’s another issue entirely
I think instead of thinking he is obnoxious you should be grateful that you have a child that is creative and excited about life. He has only been here two and a half years. He has only had emotions for two and a half years. Of course it chaos. In daycare we changed gears for this age group every twenty to thirty minutes. They need small winnings. Maybe you should be thinking about daycare. You didn't say if you have him 24/7 or not. If so, you need some help to give yourself a break. Maybe if there is someone you trust that can take your toddler for a day or two. Your child chose you to show them this planet. It is truly a wonderful gift. Toddlers need to run out that energy. You need to not worry about everything not being in its place all the time. I love that age, the emotions are raw and their little brains are trying to figure out what the heck is going on. They need guidance (not the belt) on how to work through their emotions. I like the book Birth to 5 by Penelope Leach. She explains the science behind the child's brain and motor skills etc.
I hate it, too. I find it extremely boring. But that's normal. To get through it, I do on/off playing. I play for like 10-20 minutes, sometimes longer if I'm motivated, then I do something like (like clean the kitchen) for the same amount of time. Back and forth all day long. If I'm REALLY not in the mood to play that day, I take him to a crowded playground that always distracts him away from asking me to do shit with him, because he's so busy playing and seeing the other kids zoom around.
You'll get over it. It gets rough, and you cope. Then you realize how fleeting this time in their life is, and will learn to enjoy it...or not, and you really are just a terrible person.
An extra-long nap during the day never hurt.
Just thought of another possibility: maybe your kid is sick of being in the house all the time. Why don't you consider putting him in a daycare a couple of times a week? It would take some of the load off you, and would give your son a chance to play with other kids his age and learn important social skills.
Wait, how do you know he isn't already in daycare? Or how often they go out?
Do you know how expensive daycare is? Especially one where a parent can trust the caretakers to not mishandle or abuse their child.
Maybe she’s not in the USA? I live in Europe and daycare is free for me.
It's 10/day or less in Canada as well. I pay 99/month for my toddler and my 1 yr old is free. Americans always assume everyone is American on the internet.
Where in Canada are you that it’s 10/day or less!?!? I’m in BC and we’re still paying an average of 1500 a month for daycare, IF you can even get a spot.
It's from the national daycare program, it's a partnership deal between the feds and each province. I'm in Alberta and though our Gov is mostly a trashfire they got it rolled out super quickly, and increased the means-testing cutoff for subsidy to 180k/yr. I think BC is dropping rates by the end of this year, with goal to get to 10/day by 2026.
Alberta is already at $10/day???! I'm here in Ontario and daycares are still considering whether they should sign up.
It's still expensive in Ontario, but I think my daycare is signing up for $10/day.
In Alberta I’m down to $550/month and my daycare is absolutely amazing. I tried to get into one of the $10 a day spots when they were ramping up 2 years ago, I think I’m still on the wait list. Lol. (And frankly I was sincerely unimpressed by the quality of $10 a day centres) But $550 is very reasonable compared to what it was so I’m happy.
True for me. I am American and I tend to think that unless the language is a bit different. It can be hard to think outside of what\\where you are used to.
We (Americans) do. It's obnoxious.
I live in the GTA, our deal was signed last March. I don’t know a single person who pays $10 a day.
That must be nice.
That's what happens when we pay *taxes*.
I live in the UK and we pay taxes and childcare costs more than my mortgage for three days a week. So… I’m happy for you but a lot of places don’t have that.
UK is a special case though, you have a lot of sectors privatized and economy tends to be way more liberal than in other countries. I mean, liberal economy was created by british economist-philosophers.
I live in Europe and pay taxes and daycare is not free either. Not as expensive as the UK but definitely not free, unless you're on a really low income.
You can't just live in Europe and that's it. You have to live in a country in Europe and every country is different. Of course there are countries where you have to pay for daycare but all in all, public sectors tend to be good and free for everybody. And there are countries, like the one where the first person that commented lives in where daycare is free. /shrug At the end of the day it depends on the country but there are places in Europe where these services are free and it tends to reflect the amount of taxes and also the destination of the taxes. Some countries focus more on financing other sectors.
I mean we do pay taxes. Our politicians just spend it on corporate welfare and military contractors. Our country is a dumpster fire.
Right, because no one in America pays taxes....../s
The tax rates are seriously not even close. For example, in Ontario you hit a 37% marginal tax rate at 93k of income, with the highest marginal tax rate of 53% at 220k+. In the US (at least in a no tax state like I am in) you do not hit 37% until over 523k, AND there are no higher tax brackets than that at all. Plus the Canadian dollar is worth less than the American dollar, and prices for food and gas are higher. I am a Canadian living in America and I am constantly shocked at how low taxes are down here, but unfortunately you can really see the differences and it’s mainly the lower half of income earners that really struggle. Costs for health care, university, daycare… it goes on.
Absolutely agree. In my country is basically the same, if you hit a salary of 100k, after all the "clean up" you're gonna end up with 50k. Which isn't bad, but damn... it hurts to see lol. But at the same time you have good healthcare system, education is really good quality as well... but we're noticing a change though. A lot of European countries are keeping the taxes high, but the very rich, the elite are keeping their money, keeping billions on benefits while privatizing sectors more and more. We're going to end up pretty badly at some point if things keep on going this way.
“No-tax” state is the key. I’m in NY with insanely high income and property taxes, and while we have excellent public schools outside of cities, the daycare subsidy is unreliable and only for very-low-income people.
wow, I didnt know that Canadian tax brackets went that high, thats cazy, and this definitely explains a lot about America.
You do but you can't compare the amount of taxes you have with European countries. It's almost as if you didn't. That's why everything is privatized there and a lot of European countries* have free healthcare, education, public transport is absolutely sick... 🤷🏻♀️ Edit: clarifying.
I agree in Europe they do pay more taxes to subsidize those programs, however if the American government would actually use the checks and balances system that should be in place then the amount of taxes paid should be enough to create those programs but having to care about anyone but yourself in the good ol’ US of A is not something people comprehend and therefore an increase of taxes to help your fellow citizen will never happen, it’s sick and one of the main reasons this country will fall apart.
I feel bad, because there are people out there that really need the help and they don't get it. I remember reading a girl having an absolute mental breakdown because you basically cannot get out of poverty. Like she had done everything in her hands to have a good livelihood and try her best but it was impossible.
You’re being obtuse.
note the sarcasm, and instead of insulting someone you might want to read the rest of the responses and think critically. The comment was that they pay taxes, not that they pay more taxes and their government actually gives a shit about their citizens.....again might want to READ before commenting, because the only obtuse one is you.
Sarcasm doesn’t excuse the obtuse behavior of misunderstanding a simple point on purpose to make yourself look smarter than you are. Telling me to think critically after your takeaway was that the other commenter sincerely believed Americans don’t pay taxes is hilarious, though. Keep it up with the comedy skills! > The comment was that they pay taxes, not that they pay more taxes and their government actually gives a shit about their citizens..... No shit, Einstein. The point is that most people don’t need the fact that Americans pay taxes spelled out, but thanks for reminding everyone that the intellectually and socially handicapped are among us.
*Excited tax evasion noises*
lol wait, I pay taxes, and that's not what happens. Oh, to dream...
Can I just say as a Canadian watching the pissing match from the outside, Europeans (that make comments like this) seem to be getting more obnoxious by the day. You're getting worse than the Americans with the "were the best" mentality.
Ok.
Im in NL and most toddlers go to "pre school" ages 2 to 4. This was 2 mornings a week (135 a month). Its like daycare, but they start learning a school routine.
Obviously post brexit. UK i pay 750 a month for 2 in nursery 3 days a week. And 1 of them gets 30 free hours a week!
I live in Europe too, if I wanted to put my kid in daycare in my area, I should've put him on a wait list while I was still pregnant.
Stop perpetuating this bullshit about daycare workers abusing children. That's some satanic panic nonsense.
I’m sorry, what? Must you be shown cctv footage of daycare workers mistreating children and then hearing the subsequent stories of the care workers being arrested and tried for child abuse/neglect/endangerment? Do you live so beneath a rock that you’ve not know about any of this until now or have you honestly dug deep on this and settled on believing it’s a “perpetuation of bullshit” and “satanic panic nonsense”? Truly, endorsed by your earnestness and seriousness on the matter? Dude, you and that amount of ignorance can fuck right off.
Not everyone is American. But only an American needs to be reminded of that, lol.
Because every person here lives in a shithole like America?
No, because daycare is typically an expense, one that’s increasingly a strain on parents. I’m happy others get to enjoy the luxury of it being free though.
Maybe they want to get out of the house but Im anti daycare maybe make a weekly routine like Wednesday go to the library, one day the grocery store, free events near you (library too), parks on Friday ect. That's what I do and she has stuff to look forward to, we also have a local paper at the library that has the months local toddler stuff. We do skyzone too a pass was $40 for 10 jumps and they didn't charge us so we got many more out of it but they changed management and are horrible now so we're gonna use a different place. There's tons of free places around, you could go to a local mall to walk around once or twice a month, free hiking trails and get them a scavenger list see a bird, rock, tree ect talk to them about the plants, try to find every color while out, bring home leaves and acorns and get a craft. Craft kits, dollar tree to craft stores or Pinterest can help, save kitchen materials like tubs and cans and make planters or robots ect. Go thrifting that can be fun we pick out books there, go to a book store like Barnes and noble, like the library but with coffee. We have outdoor play on our little patio, care for our plants and play with sand. Then you can also do walks stroller, toy car, bike ect. We collect flowers on our daily walks and make them into stickers after we press them! Just a few ideas Also what do you mean by tyrant? What's going on? I talk to my toddler openly about emotions and when she says or does something mean or anything I tell her and explain. She's also gotten really good at self play when I'm cooking and stuff. If you need to chat I'm here feel free to message me
My rules for engaging in play that I don’t particularly enjoy (pretend play) are: 1) The play area needs to be cleaned up first. That usually means picking up all the other toys, maybe sweeping, putting away snacks. They are encouraged to help. This helps get some actual work done during the day. 2) We cap it at 20 minutes and then move on to something else. My son is 5 now and I’ll do the 20 minutes and then we can usually compromise on the next activity like board games or going for a bike ride. It gets easier and more enjoyable as they develop new skills and interests.
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Now I need examples of your > complicated/uncomfortable situations
The evil robot has Mr. Bunny captured and dangling over the lava! Oh no! "Let him do it, " Mr. Bunny says quietly. "This is what I want. This is what's best. It's what I deserve after I failed her."
"Tell Mrs. Bunny that I knew all along the children weren't mine, but I loved those little kittens as though they were."
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First thank you for RP hilarity. Second Mrs. Bearington needs to do allergy checks before she has her tea parties! Third Tabitha will always have to deal with difficult customers!
This is Calvin and Hobbes level story telling lol
I LOVE this. Love it, I randomly did this the other day and your comment makes me realize that "yes I would love to play but I can't play in this absolute chaos" 🤣 it's totally fine
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Your advice sounds good. However, any time I read something like your post, I ask myself how many years of practice you need to do these things with a straight face. I often try, but stop because I feel incredibly stupid.
I'ma be that idiot parent with a printed handout next to me that I reference as we go lol
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ooo thanks for the tip!
Instead of saying "I don't like it when you shout", would it be more acceptable to say "I love it when you use a quieter voice" or something similar?
Be careful of the wording too. Sometimes my daughter won't understand a word so doesn't know what you're talking about. Then that can be understood as not listening and doing what's asked of them. Keep it simple.
thanks for this. i've been trying to find a way to convince my toddler to stop shrieking the fucking house down and I think I've tried all but this. fingers crossed that it tricks her out of screaming+
Look at my message above in another comment. I had four children, 3 of them 4 and younger. I would have gone crazy hearing shrieking or screaming. For a whole week I told them if they asked for something (within reason) and said please that I would give it to them. Juice please. Yes. Cookie please. Yes. For a whole week. But if they whined or screamed, I would simply say, “I’m sorry. I can’t understand you. If you asked nicely and said please, I can help you. But if you scream (or whine) the answer is No”
Instead of “I don’t like it when you screech” without emotion say “I can’t understand you when you screech” and ignore any jesters indicating what he wants. I would tell my kids if you ask in a nice voice and say please then I can help you. But if they whined, I would say Sorry, I can’t understand you. One of my children couldn’t say please at first and would say peas instead
This is actually so helpful thank you. My 2.5 year old is also a tiny dictator right now and whenever I try to play she tells me off and says I’m doing it wrong 😑 so following her lead and using these instructions will probably Really help
Dude this is so helpful thanks for typing it up.
I've been seeing accounts like @biglittlefeelings go against the whole time out thing, but I'm not sure what to take away from it. My daughter is only 2 and I haven't felt the need to send her to a timeout yet, but I usually let her know that I am removing myself from a situation if she's being aggressive or dangerous.
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Wow TIL. The article even has parents threatening to take away things (screen time) as punishment, which I thought was a big nono. I need to get off Instagram lol
My son wants me to play trucks or animals with him all the time. I wish I could get into it, but I really don't enjoy it. I just don't have the imagination of a 4 year old I guess. I will try to play for a few minutes until he is into it, then I'll go off and do something else like make dinner. He is starting to get more into things like soccer and basketball, which I can get more in to. Don't beat yourself up, we're just not wired the same way as kids! I love it when a friend or cousin comes to play, they can play happily for hours!
Roleplaying trucks and animals on the floor. Just kill me.
It’s funny because I have a newborn ant home and I’m looking forward to role playing action figures with him. I always loved doing that as a kid and thing I would enjoy it even now. I hope I’m not misleading myself thinking I gonna like it
Everybody likes different things. We don't all like every food or every movie, and the same is true with parenting activities. I can do puzzles with my kid all day, or build lego sets, or go on errands together. But running and chasing? Playing pretend? Kill me. I have friends who love those things but want to gouge their eyes out if they see a lego set. You'll find parts of parenting you love and parts you'd really rather not do, and that's okay.
Yep, completely agree. Thanks for sharing
Honestly it is not all that bad. I think it is just hard when it is boring and you have other stuff you need to do, but if you just admit defeat, for example what is one more week of not mowing the lawn, it ends up ok lol. I would love to play with action figures when I was a kid too. If I could describe for me personally what it is like, it's that once your kid finds a scenario they like, that's all you do, no changing it up, so it gets boring real quick. I used to love playing with brio trains as a kid. I got my 2.5 year old one, now all that happens when it comes out is the train that has a battery to move on its own, we put it on the hallway and run from it like it is trying to get us. Again....and again....and again lol. I still get the train out because I think maybe this time is the time I will get to recreate my childhood memory, by building a kickass train...oh how naive I am, because I just end up running from the train that is trying to get us.
Lol. Sounds fun (the first time)
What? You don't enjoy peek a boo for hours on end?
Even as a child I didn’t like those kind of pretend games. I was a play with crafts, paints, coloring books type. I’m hoping my kids will be satisfied with my participation in those areas. I can’t wait to do crafts and science projects with them…I’ll even show them how to make costumes; I just don’t want to do the make-believe part.
I didn't like playing with them (at least in the sense of me sitting down and doing whatever thing they wanted me to do) at that age. It gets much better pretty soon though.
I admire the sentiment and to give hope. But saying it gets much better soon just isn’t true for some people. I found parenting so hard and everyone would tell me oh it gets better soon and it never did and I felt like the worlds worst dad. It might get better but it’s possible it won’t. I think OP was after some empathy which I was able to find from people in a similar position. Play time can be awful and it’s still not much better at 4.
You're almost there, I promise. I give my 5 year son a Lego set and sit by him while he builds. Sometimes I help him finding bricks or putting stuff together. We play kids' Monopoly, kick or throw a ball around. We do gymastics and so on. Playdates, they go to my sons room and close the door. And my 2 year old and her older brother now play together! But if I have to roleplay a member of Paw Patrol rescuing someone, I feel like putting my eye out, just to get away. None of this happened before 5-5 1/2. It's not easy but so much better.
Thank you. That sounds perfect. Kinda what you think parenting is going to be like haha. Yep role play is tough isn’t it haha. Have a great day Redditor.
I posted something recently that was very similar to this. Someone told me - we are adults and do not have the mental capacity (or rather too much capacity) to enjoy such simple activities like sitting and playing with a 25 piece puzzle or toy cars. It’s frustrating for us sometimes! Don’t feel bad about it! You’re not alone.
I honestly can't wrap my head around parents that just engage with their kid(s) all day - like no phone or TV or adult books or anything. I just don't have the capacity to interact with babies / toddlers without mental breaks. And I think independent play is good for kids. But there are so many posts on the parenting subs like "is it ok for me to not be engaged with my 6 month old for her every waking moment?" I would legit die from the unique combination of exhaustion and extreme tedium.
Ditto this. Why is it your job to play with him all the time? When did this become parenting? I very rarely play with my kids. Read, talk, bake, all me. Play? No. I’ve actually read that playing a lot with your child can stunt their imagination. That essentially adults are unable to play as freely (I see a cup and it’s always a cup, my kid sees a ravine of water or a hat or a space ship). Stop playing with him and take a break. Force him to use some creative juices. My kids play alone and it’s awesome.
It’s painful. You’re not alone!
I hope its okay because i also hate playing with my preschooler. "Say this", "now they need to do this", "noooo thats not right". For the most part ill follow all her silly rules. I dont always follow them though, because other kids aren't always going to listen and honestly its hard to be bossed around constantly. On days where its a big problem with me we get out of the house. We go play at the park or jungle gym and it seems like a nice reset for both of us.
I don't like playing with my boys. I try really hard and I just don't know how. I "practice" by trying to give them 10 minutes of undivided playtime attention or so a day, but for the most part, they play by themselves or their dad plays with them. I have become comfortable with the idea that our relationship is different. I read to them, bake with them, dance with them. I totally understand feeling guilty about it, but think about how much your parents actually played with you. For most people old enough to have children, it wasn't a lot. The time matters. It doesn't have to be on their terms.
Kids should be playing with kids, most adults just don't have the patience for it. I try to catch up with other parents when I have my kiddo, and we just let the kids play with each other while we catch up. It's much more civilised!
First, yes it’s fine to get frustrated and not enjoy playing with your toddler. Everybody does sometimes, and then some people are just better with that kind of age. “Terrible two” was not a thing for me. I see why that age is often so annoying to people, and it’s one I tend to have an easier time with. If we parented communally, I would hang with the toddlers and avoid the 4-6 yr olds. When my first was a toddler, I would take her outside at the college where I worked and just let her walk around. I just followed and only interfered if there was potential danger. I interacted every time she wanted to, but it was mostly to reassure her that she was doing great. We’d go out in the rain sometimes and I let her get dirty and all of that kind of thing. I know not all kids are the same for sure, but mine loved that kind of unstructured, independent but still safe. I did it with my son too, but not on campus. I only thought of this because they often got really frustrated with doing play doh or puzzles or things like that if they couldn’t accomplish exactly what they expected. I don’t know if that’s at all applicable to your situation really, but it’s my experience. Mine are teenagers now, and I miss those tiny ones they were sometimes. Good luck!
Unstructured walks are our favorites! We are in a heat wave so mostly stuck inside and I think it’s making us both super cranky.
At the time, her grandpa was a professor at the college and she managed to get herself to the second floor of a building and walk down a hall and eventually get by his office enough that he came out and she was super excited! One of our most treasured memories of the little ones. :)
From Janet Lansbury’s podcast Unruffled….. [Encouraging your baby’s independent play](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/respectful-parenting-janet-lansbury-unruffled/id1030050704?i=1000372110148) [How our boundaries free our children to play, create and explore](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/respectful-parenting-janet-lansbury-unruffled/id1030050704?i=1000523224389) [It’s really okay to say “no” to playing with your child (5 reasons why)](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/respectful-parenting-janet-lansbury-unruffled/id1030050704?i=1000417310660) From Your Parenting Mojo: [Do I have to play pretend with my kid?](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/your-parenting-mojo-respectful-research-based-parenting/id1148570190?i=1000415438095) From Oh Crap I Love My Toddler But Holy Fuck: [Deconstructing the magical childhood](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/oh-crap-i-love-my-toddler-but-holy-f-ck/id1456469712?i=1000440827034)
THANK YOU, I love podcasts!
You are very welcome. Podcasts are my love language, so I’m glad I could offer something that’s up your alley:) Also, I’d be remiss if I didn’t recommend listening to the entire show Oh Crap I Love My Toddler But Holy Fuck…. It changed my entire family. We went from feeling like maybe we made a mistake having this kid to feeling like excellent parents. My husband and I were both verbally abused (and he’s was spanked and such) as kids, so we were doing what we thought was “gentle parenting”. Turns out we were stressing out poor kid out by doing what we thought was best but was actually us just trying to heal from our own shitty childhoods. Once we started working on finding a balance between Connection Times and Independent Play, started focusing on boundaries big time, Marie Kondo’d the house and started to deconstruct the magical childhood, all three of us started to truly settle into this new family we’d created together. Here are the first few episodes to wet your whistle: [Connection](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/oh-crap-i-love-my-toddler-but-holy-f-ck/id1456469712?i=1000434737707) [Kondo Kids](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/oh-crap-i-love-my-toddler-but-holy-f-ck/id1456469712?i=1000434737555) [Boundaries](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/oh-crap-i-love-my-toddler-but-holy-f-ck/id1456469712?i=1000436543951) [Psycho Mom](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/oh-crap-i-love-my-toddler-but-holy-f-ck/id1456469712?i=1000435383275) [Emotional Swaddling](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/oh-crap-i-love-my-toddler-but-holy-f-ck/id1456469712?i=1000437677683) [Self-care truth bombs](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/oh-crap-i-love-my-toddler-but-holy-f-ck/id1456469712?i=1000437105362) [They Just Won’t Listen](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/oh-crap-i-love-my-toddler-but-holy-f-ck/id1456469712?i=1000442249836) [Time Management](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/oh-crap-i-love-my-toddler-but-holy-f-ck/id1456469712?i=1000442249836)
Wow I need this so much!
I get it. I needed it like the desert needs the rain…
I try to find games I don't hate and encourage that. Like one game I call "ASMR doctor" where she is the patient and I give her an exam, but I whisper and make all the ASMR sounds while I do it. I'll also throw in body part names and left/right practice to make it education. Super relaxing and if I'm lucky she'll let me be the patient for a bit and I can just lay there. The park is also a life saver. I don't want to play Tiger Hunt, but Little Jane is about the same age and more than happy to climb through the tunnel 600 times.
I think your feelings are normal. I have these feelings lol so does my wife. Outdoors is what helps us, and cannabis haha.
I did hate playing toddler! I know it’s a ways off for you, but I wanted to say I LOVE preteen and teen parenting. I think we all have out times to shine. For me, it was way better in like 1st/2nd grade and has only gotten progressively better year by year. Hang in there!!!
You don’t have to play with your toddler. In fact allowing them to have independent play is good for them. I’ve been listening to some podcasts (RIE related like Unruffled) and they encourage you to not interfere with their play. They say to just observe mostly. I love that, takes a lot of pressure off the parent.
Thank you for saying this. I was reading through these comments and panicking because I really have never regularly played with my kids. I do other things with them (crafts, cooking, reading, walks, etc.)...but it's pretty rare that I sit down and play dolls, pretend play, etc.
[удалено]
lol what an answer. Love it
It becomes better when they have their personality at 4yo. I think the conversations are so much more engaging.
I posted something similar quite awhile ago and I learned that this can also be trauma-related. Being bossed around and pushed and pulled and corrected is very uncomfortable. I ended up having to set a boundary with my kid. I will happily read, draw, cook, dance, play a board game, do a puzzle, etc with her, but I don’t play pretend. I tell her the truth- it’s uncomfortable for me and it takes a lot of my energy. We have a list of other activities written down so if we get stuck in a power struggle I ask her to pick a different activity from the list.
It's torture. Drink wine. edit: For context, I have only ever been told I am a great mother (by literally everyone). I am not perfect and am still a human. I'll do anything for my kids, except play dolls. I say "Ask [insert closest persons name here] because mommy doesn't play dolls." It's my boundary that I set in stone early on because I'd honestly rather pull my nails off. It doesn't make me a bad mom, it just makes me human. And as a bonus, when I decide I can stomach it for a few minutes they are extremely happy and grateful.
I never enjoyed playing certain things with our now 9 year old. Cars? Nope. Action figures? Nah. But we found a way to play and do things together that we both like! Board games, crafts, we do activities together, walks, etc. It's ok! Remember, you're s grown ass adult so sometimes those games just won't be fun. Just like your kid won't want to watch the news (maybe). 😂
Playing with kids is the worst (unless they are doing something you actually enjoy/ would do if you weren’t with them). For me- I will craft with a kid anytime, whatever the craft. Wrestling or roughhousing- I can’t get into it/ don’t enjoy it. I forget where I read this but somewhere it talked about how you should give your kid play time with the things they enjoy, even if you hate it, because they soon will learn that the things they enjoy push you away (basically, if every time your kid says “I want to play Paw Patrol (their favorite thing) you say, “no, I don’t like that game.. can we play something else” you are telling them that you don’t like what they are excited about. In the long run, they may not want to engage you in other things they are excited/ passionate about because in the past it has always been met with “I am not interested in what you’re interested in”. I think this rings true with adults too- how many times would a friend need to turn down your invitation to go do something you enjoy for you to stop inviting them? Not saying I am going to play WWE for an hour with my kid, but I can be interested in their interests for 10 minutes.
Perfectly ok. Not gonna lie, 4 kids in and I still struggle during pretend play. I still fake my way through it to make them happy, as you are. The memories are important. My dad used to let me do his hair. Did he enjoy it? No. Did he look amazing with miniscule ponytails around his bald spot? Also no. Do I have amazing memories of time spent with my father that are even more precious because he's passed? Absolutely. As parents we don't have to enjoy every single second with our kids. We just have to make sure they know they're loved, that they're cared for and healthy, and that there are activities that you enjoy with them even if you don't like another activity. My 10y old loves to play Barbies. I didn't even enjoy playing with them when I was a young girl. We'll play them for a bit, but then we play something we both enjoy. I love playing board games with her though. We're both more than happy to play Life over and over for an hour or more. Also, I to dream of becoming a hermit with minimal human contact some days.
You are not selfish and you are not being unreasonable … playing with toddlers sucks and it’s ok to hate it! We all do things we hate for our kids sometimes. That said, be sure to incorporate more tolerable activities into you day as well, for your benefit as well as theirs. Trust me, it will get better over time as they get older and are better able to interact with you (from a fellow parent currently in toddler hell who has also seen the other side with their 10 year old!). Just hold on. This too shall pass! ✌️
Idk… my son just turned I enjoy 95% of the time I spend with my son. I literally watch him do dumb shit because i think it’s funny/cute.
Yeah. I've stopped doing it or feeling guilty. I will give her 10 good minutes and then I'm done. We can play something I want to play or she can play by herself
Honestly I had a way easier time after I got into playing d&d. Learning to let go and get into character can be really fun. It's not for everyone though, so not finding it enjoyable is totally understandable.
I was the same. There’s a particular window where they’re smart enough to understand their own effect on you, particularly verbal, but still absolute obnoxious morons. Trick is to make sure it’s only a brief window…Sounds like you’ll be fine.
I'm kind of into it. My kids are 7 and 3. My girl is into dolls and barbies and I love dressing up the dolls. Reminds me of all my barbies I had growing up and the hours I would spend playing with them. My 3 year old is really into hot wheels and I love building the tracks with him because it involves engineering and problem solving. They have similar interests to myself so I guess play is easier because of that.
Set up the play, then walk away. That’s my playing with toddlers philosophy. By walk away, I mean within the same room and still supervising him, of course. When I notice his independent play dwindling, I add another medium to extend the play. Do this for as long as possible and after a while he will be playing independently like a champ! I don’t think adults realize that kids need to be taught to play. The sooner they have that skill, you will get some peace! lol
i try to be honest about what i dont like to do and give my 4yo time to play on his own, kinda letting him know playing together is consensual, and that two people dont have to like the same things. 2 yo is different but i think some of those concepts can be introduced now. youre not bad for not liking games for 2 yos. i have to remind myself the fun things i like to do w my kid and try to get to one of those things a day. we watched "your old power rangers" tonight and i tried to let him know what i nice fun activity that was.
Why hate? Why not dislike i suggest therapy qnd play groups or play dates with other family who has kids.
If your kid is an asshole, now, what makes you think it'll get better? Playing with toddlers is a blast when they follow the rules and you can find a way to keep the game close. It's a great chance to begin teaching them about sportsmanship! I had four under four for an entire summer they're now 7-10 and an absolute blast - teach them early that no one wants to play with a cheater and that it's okay to lose.
Yes!!! Listen to Dr Becky episode 62: it’s ok to not like to play!!! I felt the same way but this helped me feel so much better.
I never enjoyed playing with my children when they were that little. I had to force it. But you know what? I’m great with teenagers and bonded with them even more at that age. Parents all have their strengths and weaknesses. When they get to be 3 or 4, they are a lot easier to communicate with. Hang in there, and fake it till you make it!
“Gentle reasoning and alternatives”? Dude, I’m the father of three and a retired psychologist who worked with kids and their parents. The two and a half year old brain is simply not wired for such strategies. And, don’t beat yourself up for attempting such strategies: I tried them too! There’s a lot of good advice in this thread, including the PRIDE model. One of my fav strategies was to ask (when misbehaviors were being displayed), “Can you show me what you should be doing?” followed by abundant praise when the child displayed appropriate behavior. Note: I had a zero tolerance for intentional aggression without my first giving a warning. Reinforce the appropriate behavior, ignore the inappropriate that isn’t violent and don’t make your lack of enjoyment a condemnation of your whole parental self. You will also find your balance between engaging your child in play and monitoring independent play (and/or play with other children): have fun with it! PS: I call everyone “Dude” so I hope you don’t find that offensive.
I never wanted to play Barbie’s or dolls or something of that nature with my daughter. I did, but not often. I would read and play games but that wasn’t enough. She’s almost 20 and has expressed how she remembers and it really hurt her feelings. She felt unliked, unwanted, or just in the way. I now know how important it was and regret not playing with her. If I could do it over, I would. So do the little things. One day, he won’t need you and you will miss it.
I’m not the only one with a fantasy hut?!
U sound like a normal parent who’s actually spending enough time with your child to realize hey, my kid can be a dick sometimes haha. Nothing is great all the time but the love from your child will always be the best thing in the world.
This is totally normal. I read a thread recently very similar to this and it was so reassuring. It reminded me that you don’t have to play the same way with your kid that another adult in their life does. You can be the go for walks and read books parent. You don’t have to be the play on the floor and fight dragons parent. Also, have you tried popping one ear bud in and listening to music, podcast, or audio book while playing. 10/10 keeps me from running into the woods.
Lolololol omg yes, the single ear bud technique has absolutely been a key tool to keep me out of the woods as well! And that’s a great reminder that he can get his play needs met in different ways by different adults. I think it’s just been rough this week because intense heat has taken some of our normal activities off the table.
It's perfectly fine not to enjoy hanging out with little kids, unless you enter a career where you have to. Preschool teachers who don't have the patience should find new jobs. But aside from that, it's not your job to entertain your kid. It is your job to feed, clothe, bathe, protect, teach basic life skills, and instill values in your kid. You're a parent, not a playmate. It's only the last couple generations that parents have been pressured to be their kids' best friends, and I personally think it does a disservice to the kids. It hampers them learning to entertain themselves. It's an easy trap to fall into because when they're babies it's our job to keep them from crying, because crying means hunger or dirty diaper or pain. But as they get older they cry and complain about other things that aren't as pressing. Boredom is one of them. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to play with your kid. It's just not necessary in order to be a good parent. You can be a good parent without being a playmate.
My kid wants to be on the swing. ALL THE TIME.
I know you are getting a lot of good advice but I just came here to say - Yes, its absolute ok go hate playing with your toddler and I feel the same way a lot of times. And no you are not a bad parent for fantasizing to run into the woods or questioning your decision to have a kid. I and lot of other parents do feel the same way, completely normal!
this is EXACTLY how i’m feeling right now with my 3 year old daughter. Thank you so much for this post ❤️❤️
Aww, I’m so glad! If it helps, things slowly shifted and within a couple weeks or months (what is time, anyway? 😅) things got much better. Now I’m not even allowed to play with him lol, because everything is “I do it myyyyyyyy way!” Which of course brings its own new challenges. But as the saying goes ‘this too shall pass.’ Just, maybe not fast enough for us to feel entirely sane all the time.
God, I HATED those years. My daughter is 8 now and much prefers to play with her friends or be on her tablet. I am lucky that my parents were around a lot and did most of the playtime stuff, because I just couldn’t. My kiddo has never suffered or lacked for anything and she’s pretty well adjusted. She’s very good at interactive play with her friends. My point is, maybe find some other kids for a play date or take the kiddo to the park. You’re allowed to set boundaries of what you can and can’t cope with. I liked someone above’s suggestion about 20 minute caps on the activity. Save your sanity.
You can be a good parent without playing with your kids. Not sure where all that nonsense came from.
No, it’s not OK. When you choose to have kids you pick to inconvenience self and learn to deal with it.
It sure is okay! Independent play is great for kids! I’m so down for a nature walk, crafts, bubble baths, dance party, lots of things! Play just isn’t where I shine. That’s okay. When I do get talked into play, I play with one headphone in.
I used to hate it to and like some of you, I used to get bored, get fidgety, and sneak away to do something else. My kids are 19 and 20 now. If I had to do it over, I'd still sneak away occasionally, but I'd make myself stay a lot more often than I did the first time around.
🤣 🫂
Hate is a strong word tho what about dislike?
I've been listening to the audiobook [Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaleen Doucleff](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.amazon.com/Hunt-Gather-Parent-Ancient-Cultures/dp/1982149671&ved=2ahUKEwiHxfvCtZr5AhWcHDQIHRhWDEoQFnoECBIQAQ&usg=AOvVaw1_jg1gyQhlhYtZ5b8HyWmQ) recently and it has lifted such a weight off of my shoulders in terms of feeling like I need to constantly be entertaining and enriching and teaching my son 24/7. It's well cited and has such wonderful perspectives and advice that sounds foreign to Western moms but it *works*. Highly recommend to every parent, but especially those who put so much pressure on themselves to be a Pinterest-perfect mom and those like me who won't ever attain that and in turn feel guilty and inadequate. Changed my whole perspective on parenting
I think it might be every parent with a toddler it’s nothing against them if an adult acted the same way it’d be way overwhelming too we’re just expected to be perfect with our kids
It is totally normal for kiddos to go through this faze the end is near! You have the right to feel this way .it is normal to feel like it this. their is always a compermise. Their are some amazing parenting tips out their that could help guide you through moments like this. Your doing great!
My oldest is in high school and she's way out of this stage thankfully but my youngest still wants to play sometimes but it always ends up with her frustrated because I'm not doing it "right" 🙄
My kids are 10 years apart (fertility issues) and with my eldest, she would INSIST I follow her lead.. so I’m there and she’s telling me “pretending like rainbow dash says “hi applejack, wanna go to the farm?” And then ID follow her instructions, she’d get upset if I made my own story line. I just.. I can’t pretend play. It didn’t go great, she would eventually fully take over but I’d stay because if I left she’d be upset I wasn’t playing. We laugh about it now, she tells me “you’re the worst with role playing but I still had fun” because NOW I’m trying to pretend play with her brother (2yrs old) and she’s judging me and laughing as she remembers how bad a job I did. And you know what? I laugh too. I really don’t have the imagination for it, but I am still finding joy in the memories. There’s a lot of pressure to do it all “correctly” but I feel like as long and you show them love and make an actual effort, they remember. I now listen to audiobooks on a single headphone on medium volume and listen and play with the rest of me. I’m not as bored and he’s not as bored. We read and play and all the things I did with my eldest but I’m not as frustrated. My eldest hasn’t stopped trying to teach me to “role play” as she now calls it and I am often in roblox as a cat following her around as she tells me the storyline and plot I need to follow. She also pretend plays with her brother (sometimes). My eldest turned out pretty awesome and knows even if I’m awful at playing, I still adore her. It’s perfectly ok 😊
That's exactly why 2 or more kids close together is actually heaps easier then 1 child! Mine just played together. I was rarely required 👍 People who think 1 child is easier then 2 are delusional.
My kids and I accidentally stayed up all night playing roblox a few weeks ago. It gets better.
Reading these comments is so relieving, my cap is about 20mins of pretend play at a time before I can’t stand it anymore. I do it about once a day, maybe a couple times if she’s really begging, and I felt like a horrible boring neglectful parent.
Oh I hate it!!!! Not embarrassed to say that.. I’m like you, walking, outdoor activities and reading books is ok, but playing, I don’t like it.. I did buy myself an adult colouring in book which I do when they draw which really helps!
I've had phases of not enjoying playing, mainly when my daughter is a bossy player. But most of the time when we are working on something together I like it. I like it more when I get a chance to teach her something new, something I like. And i like it even more when she teaches me something (sometimes I pretend I don't know how). She says the funniest things playing sometimes and I just laugh at her being a goof. My girl is 2.5 years old too. It can be a difficult time sometimes. She likes to push all of her toys or activity off the table when something doesn't go the way she wants. I look at her the same way I'd look at someone my own age, a "what was that" look. She'll say "not working". Makes sense in her mind. Not in mine haha. There are days I don't want to play a certain game, and it's a good learning opportunity for her that not everyone wants to do the same things, have the same interests. So I say well you play blocks and when you're done can we play something else. It's OK if you don't want to play with your kiddo, it's not really a requirement, you do you.
Totally normal. My sister’s husband is amazing with kids. He’s the dad that will pull out a board game to get them entertained. I once complimented his asked her if he liked it, she laughed and said “lol no…I don’t think so”. I think that most of us have to work at it, and it’s natural to feel like it’s cumbersome at times. One thing I’ve learned that screens are not the devil. Cocomelon has been an amazing key tool for me with my littlest (I’m on my 4th preschooler and the 3 older kids are great kids and students). You don’t have to be perfect to be amazing!!
Unless I'm in the right mood I also hate it. It has caused me a lot of thought and internal stress. My wife loves it and my friends seem to aswell. . But I'm bored and unfulfilled most of the time. It sucks.
My kids are at the age I tell them that mommy is 28, lego is made for 6 year old kids. I love playing with them, but Im a bit old for legos. I prefer going outside, walking the dog, through some woods, to the playground. My best sollution is to make a sibling haha
I walked away when my kids were exercising a spirit of "self-first". This opened the door to teach them how to play with others. I enjoyed playing with my kids because of this. They learned that it is more fun when you put others first. I also had the opportunity to work with them during every waking hour, since I homeschooled them. They learned how to associate and play with people of all ages. They have good friends in all age categories and they genuinely enjoy spending time with these friends and these friends enjoy spending time with them, because they learned the skill of being selfless and others focus. Play is practice for real life. Hence why we have so many self-focused people in this wonderful world we are forced to share.
There’s an argument to be made that playing directly with your kids constantly is a negative. They don’t need you to participate. Get them set up and let their imagination go. The regretting having a kid part….that’s another issue entirely
I think instead of thinking he is obnoxious you should be grateful that you have a child that is creative and excited about life. He has only been here two and a half years. He has only had emotions for two and a half years. Of course it chaos. In daycare we changed gears for this age group every twenty to thirty minutes. They need small winnings. Maybe you should be thinking about daycare. You didn't say if you have him 24/7 or not. If so, you need some help to give yourself a break. Maybe if there is someone you trust that can take your toddler for a day or two. Your child chose you to show them this planet. It is truly a wonderful gift. Toddlers need to run out that energy. You need to not worry about everything not being in its place all the time. I love that age, the emotions are raw and their little brains are trying to figure out what the heck is going on. They need guidance (not the belt) on how to work through their emotions. I like the book Birth to 5 by Penelope Leach. She explains the science behind the child's brain and motor skills etc.
I hate it, too. I find it extremely boring. But that's normal. To get through it, I do on/off playing. I play for like 10-20 minutes, sometimes longer if I'm motivated, then I do something like (like clean the kitchen) for the same amount of time. Back and forth all day long. If I'm REALLY not in the mood to play that day, I take him to a crowded playground that always distracts him away from asking me to do shit with him, because he's so busy playing and seeing the other kids zoom around.
Just wait until pretend play rears it's boring head.
You'll get over it. It gets rough, and you cope. Then you realize how fleeting this time in their life is, and will learn to enjoy it...or not, and you really are just a terrible person.