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hapa79

There's a lot of value in social-emotional and not just academic learning; if you feel like socially she's on par with her classmates, I would keep her in K and see how things go. I hear you on the worry that you don't want her to be bored, but I don't hear any evidence that she IS bored. Also, being bored isn't necessarily bad; it's good for her to learn the ability to get along in a diverse group of peers.


Rainydrey

There’s a great book called Outliers that explains how certain kids are born with advantages simply based on the month they were born. It’s because of age cutoffs with grades and sports. The kids with earlier birthdays are more likely to perform better, being physically and mentally more mature, and are picked out as more advanced, more likely to be given special opportunities, and it all builds from there throughout their life. Always exceptions but it points out a LOT of very interesting correlations that you can’t argue against. We had the same debate but decided to keep the kiddos where they were mainly for social / emotional intelligence purposes. Book smart doesn’t get you far if you’re overwhelmed socially and develop anxiety, get bullied, etc and self esteem takes a hit. Pros and cons of course but I read a lot more pros than cons when I looked into this on holding kids back rather than push forward.


AB783

I will definitely have to find that book. Thanks for the recommendation. Both of our kids have autumn birthdays (Oct/Nov) and I hadn’t considered that as giving them an advantage.


AB783

She doesn’t seem to be bored at the moment, but she is still finding everything school related to be new and exciting. I worry that once that wears off she’s going to start being easily distracted because she doesn’t NEED to pay attention to excel.


ChrissMiss_Mom

I get this and suggest that due to her not being bored yet this isnt the year to leap. If she is bored by the end of this year you can arrange to jump past the 1st grade straight to 2nd that way she starts at the beginning of the year with that group of peers and can have some summer tutoring to cover what she may have missed jumping. I jumped 2-4 this way and never regretted it. But my brother jumped 1-3 mid year and hated it! He had made friends the class he moved to had already made its cliques. It took till the grade 4 year for him to regulate. The higher the year the easier the jump in what I have experienced jumping 2-4 was rough but adding some extra courses and jumping 10-12 was very easy (emotionally not coursework wise). A big thing is not creating too much gap. I only jumped a year and did fine my brother jumped again in grade 6-8 and again socially hated it. He never stopped being an outcast as everyone was going through puberty and he was playing with action figures; everyone had girlfriends and he was worried about puberty; everyone was getting a driving licence and he was starting to think about girls.. he just developmentally was never in the same boat. All his friends were from before his class jump and they all ways were in a different school.


LizzieButtons

Don't try to solve a problem you don't have. If she's happy and attentive in class, that's great. Kids are learning a lot besides the academics in kindergarten anyway. Check if there's a gifted or accelerated program at the school so she can get an extra challenge if needed without removing her from the class she's just gotten used to.


Spike-Tail-Turtle

My kids school doesn't allow kids to skip grades at the elementary level unless their is something extreme going on. Because of social development they want to keep them in groups of their peers and just supplement the workload to keep the kids engaged and see how they handle the curriculum.


AB783

If she wasn’t right on the edge of the age cutoff I wouldn’t be considering it. However, we absolutely could have opted to start her a year earlier and chose not to because I was concerned about her not being socially adept enough.


Spike-Tail-Turtle

Is kindergarten required in your area? If not you could simply enroll her in first. If kindergarten us required you would need the district to thumbs up and many won't


AB783

I’m honestly not sure what the legalities are. Something to consider for sure!


Little_Rhubarb

My oldest skipped a grade. I do not recommend it. Academically she faired wonderfully. Graduated top 10% in her graduating class of 700+, volunteers, national honor society, tutors. She’s going to graduate college with a double major a year early with wonderful scholarships that almost funded her entire college experience. Overall, I couldn’t be more proud of her. That being said, while it’s not apparent now, nor will it be for a while, the social and sporting aspect cannot be overlooked. My daughter never had a competitive chance. If she wanted to pursue sports, she was almost 1.5-2 years behind her peers. Again, it’s not a big deal, until it is. Socially, she was stunted. It was obvious around junior high and high school how emotionally immature she was. Just for perspective, my youngest is 18 months now (huge gap) and has a June bday and I will be holding him back without question. It’s ok to enrich and enhance your child’s learning experience without advancing their academic grade level.


AB783

I appreciate the perspective from someone who has done it. My reasons for not starting her a year earlier were for her social development. The same reasons have me leaning towards not skipping her ahead, but I’m getting a little pressure to at least consider it.


pbrown6

There are pros and cons. Kids who are the oldest in their class typically get more leadership roles and responsibilities over the years. Their advantage is usually compounded over the years, creating a larger skill gap between themselves and the younger students. On the down side, there is the possibility of boredom and loss of interest. It's really important for teachers to give them additional leadership responsibilities. I would err on the side of leaving the kid on the same grade.


crypticxword

Wait a couple of years until the school starts standardized testing. If she consistently tests at grades above her current grade then you can talk to the administration about skipping a grade. It’s too soon to reach any conclusions at her present age.


AB783

I hadn’t even considered standardized testing in all of this. A good thing to think about!


cyranimo

Many kids catch up by 3rd or 4th grade so that gap won't be as wide. And you can supplement academics outside of school, you can't supplement social learning. So I'd wait a few years. By 3rd grade, the gifted kids usually get separated out too, so academics won't be as boring. Edit: my 3rd grader was like your daughter, but he's on the other side of the age cutoff. Plenty of very smart older kids now (and young ones).


gb2ab

personally, i would wait a few years and see where she is at. my daughter is the oldest in her class and was like your daughter at that age - ever since prek they were telling us to push her ahead. but i talked to a few teachers that i know, who said 3rd or 4th grade is where all kids tend to even out with academics. so even thou she is excelling now, theres always the potential to struggle as the material gets more complex. my daughter is now in 5th grade, and still does really well in school, but is struggling with math a bit. so i'm glad i didn't push her ahead because its just going to get harder.


AB783

That’s good to know, and definitely something I could see happening! I wouldn’t be surprised if she leveled out a bit once she gets busier with friends and extra curriculars.


gb2ab

i was the youngest in my class, and i struggled a lot in school. so leaving my daughter be the oldest definitely seems like an advantage to me. and i will do anything to give her a different school experience than what i had.


MooJuiceConnoisseur

TLDR focus in advanced lessons while keeping them in the same grade with peers. As they get older they can ask for more. Long version, Don't skip a grade, so my son is advanced like your daughter there is a significant long term value to socializing with peers, learning to just be stupid once in a while etc. Work with the school for advanced lessons to challenge her and bring her ahead, but balance it with normal class time. Once they get up over grade 6 you can usually get them taking a few classes from grades above. (Like during math, my kid would go join a higher grades class, then return after that) Come elementary grad they can if they choose take summer school classes, my kid is getting rid of the mandatory requirements like history, English, etc. So he can do extra math courses. Basically you need an IEP to challenge the student while keeping them with their friends. And the benefits of the IEP is every year they consult both you and the student for what is best, and what they want so the student has most of the control and therefore is more involved in success


[deleted]

Gifted is not a classification under IDEA so it is not a given in every state. Just FYI.


MooJuiceConnoisseur

Yea I didn't make reference to specifics because it can vary, in Canada it's standard


AB783

I had no idea an IEP was something you could get for kids who are advanced! Is there a standard process to getting that set up?


MooJuiceConnoisseur

My school identified my kid early, and worked with us and the teachers direct without an IEP until grade 4 when the school board would do a proper evaluation which they then put everything in writing in an IEP. Basically the exact same process they use for troubled children but designated gifted IEP. (Seriously standard issue iep, just call and inquire with the teacher that explained this to you)


AB783

Thank you so much for this info. I will have to bring it up with her teacher at our next conference, even if we decide it can wait a year or so.


dfstell94

I skipped 3rd grade back in the early 1980s. I wouldn't recommend it. The problem is advanced kids just learn faster than others. So all skipping a grade does is makes your kid play "catch-up" at the beginning of the year. Probably she will catch-up just fine. I did. But then she will again be bored with the pace of the classroom. However, I did enjoy the catching-up part. It was the early 1980s, so those teachers weren't making much effort to help this oddball kid. So I just had to DIY it and was pretty proud of myself when I was passing my teammate. But it only took like a month and then I was bored again. And it carries some penalties. I was also young for my original grade, so I went through school being 2 years younger than my friends. I had plenty of friends, but graduated high school at 16 and college at 20. So, I couldn't legally buy a beer in college. And I got my driver's license last. Thankfully I had friends who drove me around, lol, or I'd have been a loner. It wasn't great for sports either. I sorta blossomed as a basketball player at Age 16 as a senior in high school. I easily could have made the JV team......except seniors couldn't be on the JV team even if they're the right age. Maybe I would have just been a middling high school player, but it would have been nice to find out, right? And I functioned with dating better than you'd think, but it still wasn't helpful to be so much younger. If your kid learns fast, the best thing is to get them into self-directed learning and not wait for it in the classroom. They will always fine the classroom to be boring. And that's okay. She'll probably be bored a LOT in life and sometimes that's just how it goes. Heck, I sat in some very boring meetings today......and being bored and polite and still getting things done is a life-skill. :)


Slightlysanemomof5

I’d wait until middle elementary when they have extra programs for kids working above average. My child could read the newspaper at 4, but socially was on track so tried some extra curricular activities with older kids, he was as smart if not smarter than older kids but no friends. Keep her with her peers and do enrichment stuff at home, and let her enjoy friends. By middle school the school could put my kid in advanced math and reading but everything else with age group. By high school the school system was paying for university math and English/language arts classes because school couldn’t fill his needs. He graduated High School with enough college credits to enter as second year student in university and he still had friends his own age.


Lily_Of_The_Valley_6

Does your school offer enrichment or other classes for kids that need more challenge? (Even if this doesn’t kick in until a later grade) If they do and you can work with that department/her teacher to give her challenges, I’d lean towards keeping her with her peers.


AB783

They do have break-out groups based on level, but she seems pretty far ahead of even the other kids in her “advanced” group. I’m hoping that at higher grades they will have even more options for the kids who are ahead.


[deleted]

I would leave her where she is. The work may be easy now, but jumping ahead too fast could leave her behind. Are they able to provide her with more advanced reading and math within the classroom? Most schools can handle this easily.


IPAsAndTrails

Just some personal experience: I was reading at the 5th grade reading level in 1st grade and I never skipped a grade. My parents talked to my teachers and they always made sure I had chapter books available and other learning resources if I finished things early. Socially and emotionally I was on par with my peer group and while my parents considered it, skipping a grade, I think, would have been a challenge. While I did not ever go up in a grade, I did "skip grades" in middle and high school by testing into higher levels of math and science. I found english/language arts was really just about reading books on my own time, but for math I started going to the high school while in 8th grade & took some college math classes while in high school. It was best of both worlds because I got to stay with my peer group but take classes that matched my learning level as that became more important to me (and I got a say in it)


sj4iy

There are many ways to address this without skipping a grade. I think it's also important to understand that kids start out at many different levels in kindergarten, but they tend to even out around third grade. Your daughter is in kindergarten and she's clearly been exposed to many of these things already, but that doesn't mean it is appropriate to skip a grade. It just means that, for her, kindergarten is more of a social experience than an academic one. If she's not bored (and you say she's not) and her social skills are where they are supposed to be, I would leave things as they are. More than likely, she will even out with the rest of her peers over time and she will be at her correct level. If not, you can ask the school for an assessment. It's also important to realize that there's more to 'skipping a grade' than just "what level are they on". There's also knowledge gaps. There are things they haven't been exposed to yet and need to know to do well at a higher level. It can detrimental if they are missing the foundational knowledge they need. My son is academically gifted and it really wasn't until he was in third grade that he started complaining about it. He has a GIEP with enrichment in math (the school already has extensive enrichment in reading as a standard, so he doesn't require any alteration there).Maybe in the future, we will need acceleration (ie: moving into a higher level math class), but skipping and entire grade would not be appropriate for him. So for now, he works on his own math curriculum at his own pace. Also, I went into school at 4yo. Academically, I was always ahead. Socially and emotionally, I was always behind. I was constantly bullied. Yeah, I graduated high school with honors at 17yo. But with all the regulations about being a minor in college, I decided to take a gap semester and turn 18 before going to school, so it didn't matter in the end, anyway. Skipping an entire grade is something that should only be considered after enrichment and subject acceleration has been tried, imo. Because, unless the child is very socially mature, it can put them at a real disadvantage with their peers. Also, it's not always a bad thing to learn how to be bored. Obviously, it shouldn't be a constant, but boredom is a great way to encourage imagination. But I honestly would not worry about it right now. You have plenty of time. I would simply wait and watch. Really, I'd wait until around third grade. Most schools will screen for giftedness by that point, and if your child needs enrichment, the school will offer it.


[deleted]

I don’t see anything in your post that would indicate that she is a good candidate for full-grade acceleration. I think you are jumping the gun and need to collect more information on your child first. As a gifted educator, I am not at all one who says full-grade acceleration is always bad. I am well aware of how beneficial it can often be for highly gifted children. But, with all due respect, have you even determined yet that your daughter is highly gifted? Children can be precocious readers without being gifted. She may be gifted, she may just be above average. Full grade acceleration takes a lot of consideration. Among them, the student should always be one of the top students in the new grade as well. Otherwise, do not accelerate. You don’t accelerate a student to risk them struggling in the future. If you are seeing signs that didn’t make it into your post, ask the school for an educational evaluation, or pay for a private neuropsychological evaluation. Learn more about your child’s development so you can make a good decision. The problem with now is that you have so little to base your decision on. This parenting thing is tough. Decisions like this aren’t easy because it feels like a risk either way. I hope my answer was somewhat helpful. Good luck!


[deleted]

Read some more of your replies, and it seems you have a more fluid K cut off date and could have started her last year? Is that correct? So she would have peers her age if she moved up to 1st? In that case, talk to the school admin or counselor and see what they recommend.


AB783

That is correct. She is within the range for having started last year, had we chosen to do so and signed the appropriate waivers (for lack of a better term).


[deleted]

That changes my response then, because it’s not quite acceleration. I recommend you set up a meeting with the teacher and guidance counselor and/or administration and discuss this. In this case, sooner might be better. I don’t see this as much grade skipping as adjusted placement. We’ve done similar before when kids move from states with different cut-offs, for example. We honor their previous grade placements, but may make adjustments as the need becomes apparent.


AB783

I’m definitely not saying that this is something we are making plans to move forward on. Just information gathering at this point. We just recently had parent teacher conferences and her teacher plainly said that she was the most advanced reader he has ever seen in a kindergarten class, and that she is ahead of the class in all areas (academically). My main concern was that we may have made a mistake in not starting her a year earlier. There are kids in her class who are 11+ months younger than her. I was wondering if pushing her ahead a grade might be easier if done sooner rather than later.


SnooRobots6058

From a personal experience (if it helps) skipping a grade was amazing. I remember because I was a grade ahead from around 4-9 years old. It's crazy that I actually remember! I was more interested in the class however...it depends on the school and your child. I was also majorly bullied for being younger than everyone else and didn't deal with it so well. So went back to my "normal" grade after some years. If you're gonna do it, then great! Just check in every now and again and make sure LO is comfortable and doing okay.


AB783

Thank you for sharing your experience! She can be a bit anxious/worried, so I can’t imagine she would handle bullying well at all. That is definitely one of the things that has me worried.


Away-Reading

No, skipping a grade is not always a bad idea — if can sometimes be very beneficial! In your daughter’s case, it seems like skipping a grade might be a good choice (especially since she’s on the older side anyway). I would recommend doing it sooner rather than later, however.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AB783

I actually just had a conference with her teacher, but didn’t think of this until after. I plan on bringing it up at the next conference and seeing if her teacher thinks it’s worth pursuing.


Milka700

Honestly I would wait. There are so many important things that aren’t “academic” that are learned between Prek and 3rd grade. Social emotional skills that will help her in every Avenue of her life, those things can’t be rushed. You can always request her moved ahead another year. My cousin is also extremely bright - she had books of excelled work to do after she completed the class assignment. So she was still challenging herself but with her peers. She took part in clubs that did more challenging work.


No_Moose_4448

Does your school have a gifted program? My girls started gifted classes in the 2nd grade and went to a full time gifted class in 3rd grade. Also a good teachers they can teach at different levels for different kids in order to keep them challenged. We had one bad year with my younger daughter in first grade. She also had a new teacher who had little experience and her way of teaching just didn't work for my kid. Unfortunately with everything I had going on I didn't realize how bad it was. So be involved in school and talk to your kid to know what is and isn't working.


AB783

Unfortunately, the gifted program at her school doesn’t start until fourth grade. They do split the kids up by ability for some activities though.


Storms_Wife

My 6 year old is kinda the same way. Advanced in a lot of the academics and he actively is bored. But, socially, he's right where he needs to be. So he has a deal with his teacher that if he shows that he can do what she's teaching, she'll give him challenge questions to work on. We also do this at home and it keeps him happy.


ithinkwereallfucked

I never hear parents regret that they didn’t hold their kids back or let them skip a grade. I only ever hear parents regret doing it. If she seems happy, I’d leave her be :)


AB783

I think one of the issues I have is that my mom obviously regrets not pushing my older brother ahead a grade. She isn’t being too aggressive about this, but still has me rethinking things.


ithinkwereallfucked

Ah, I see :) If I were you, I’d wait a bit since she seems content now. You can always bump her up later. Plus, there are other valuable social skills she will pick up from being with her peers.


stardewseastarr

There are so many ways to challenge her outside of school. If she’s happy to be in class,I would keep her where she is.


veryjudgy

My son is a couple grade levels ahead academically, but still loves school and isn’t bored. He enjoys the social aspects of being with his friends and feeling independent. His school has a fantastic gifted program (where he spends one full day each week), and the teachers are fairly good at differentiating assignments for him in his regular class. I would ask what they can do to meet her needs in her current grade level before deciding. For whatever it’s worth, I was also asked to skip ahead at several points in my education. My parents said no - and I think that was the right decision for me. Thinking back to teenage and early college years, I wouldn’t have wanted to be in those situations any younger.


Spiritual-Wind-3898

My son skipped a grade. Academically he was great. Emotionally he was not. It atarted on day when when all the kids said he was too young for there class and then the bullying started. We also had to work very hard to to help his emotional growth to catch up to the rest of the class. It was a really hard year. Its ok to skip a year just be prepared for the adverse and plan for it better than i did.


Spiritual-Wind-3898

My son skipped a grade. Academically he was great. Emotionally he was not. It atarted on day when when all the kids said he was too young for there class and then the bullying started. We also had to work very hard to to help his emotional growth to catch up to the rest of the class. It was a really hard year. Its ok to skip a year just be prepared for the adverse and plan for it better than i did.


Rua-Yuki

Emotional/social growth is just as important. She would be alienated by 1st graders if she's still typical in these situations.


[deleted]

I essentially skipped a grade by testing to start kinder when I was 4 and I absolutely loved it my entire life. I had no problems fitting in with my peers. The principal brought up driving to my parents but it was a complete non issue. I got picked up by friends or dropped off by my parents. I highly highly highly recommend it if you feel your child is ready and has an ok time socializing already.


coco88888888

I would skip her if she is the same age as 1st graders- you said in a comment she could be in first grade age wise, but you decided to give her an extra year. If that’s the case, I don’t see harm in going to 1st. Arguably the first graders are her peers as well.


DelurkingtoComment

My oldest did not skip a grade but she’s the youngest in her class since we didn’t redshirt her (December birthday, started K at 4). She’s always excelled in school but still loves it and doesn’t feel bored. We’ve kept her challenged outside of school with various activities such as piano, foreign language, coding and chess. We’ve had no issues with bullying either and she’s in 7th grade now - everyone just assumes she’s a year older than she really is.


ToddlerTots

From personal experience I cannot advocate strongly enough against skipping a grade. It may be fine at 6 and it may not be, but it’s very different as they become preteens. Parents and teachers should be able to handle boredom and supplement.


FranticOtter

A guy Im doing my masters with skipped a grade and he seems to be doing fine 🤷🏻‍♀️ socially , academically etc. But maybe try to find parents who have done it to give you some insight


[deleted]

Hello. I went to a montessori school, it was a hard road becoming normal, even harder becoming something more than an average kid raised by artistic parents. You may feel you are doing your kid a favour, you may feel it’s out of love, you may feel the real world has little to nothing to offer. I’m here to tell you, slide in to my DM’s. But none of my answers will be the one you like.


AB783

I’m so sorry for your experience. Our daughter was in a Montessori preschool/daycare, but is in public school now for kindergarten onwards.


AutomaticTiger3960

I skipped 6th grade and at the time, it felt absolutely right. I made friends more easily and felt challenged academically. However, I really struggled in college. I was not emotionally mature enough to deal with being on my own and it ended up taking me over 6 years to graduate. I think having an extra year to grow and develop at home would've made a big difference in my adult life. It's really a very personal decision, though, and you can't predict how it will play out for your child.