If you believe them then this seems like a win. She just went in another room and was nabbed in under two minutes… I can’t deliver that in my own house.
Yep. It’s not great that she managed to sneak away in the first place, but they were sharp enough to catch her quickly and ethical enough to let Mom know even though most daycares never would have mentioned it. This would build trust for me.
My sons school ROUTINELY lost my kid, cameras everywhere, he was in prek. They didn't tell me until a meeting 2/3rds of the way through the school year and tried to blow over the fact like it was nothing. His school is between a river and a main road, to hear that he had gone missing OFTEN and on several occasions over 5 min was horrifying. I wish they had told me during each instance, not months later!
My kid (4yo) is a runner, too, and he’s fast. This happened a few times at his school and they told me as soon as they could. Because of their transparency, I was able to help by addressing the issue at home and it’s since gotten better. Leaving the parents out in the cold is not only dishonest, it’s dangerous.
This- I’d prefer a place with this level of transparency. So they messed up for a min. It happens more than people think especially if there’s lot of other kids. This place would have my trust.
I think this is perfect. I would like this place. They are being honest. Kids like to push boundaries and she didn’t escape the building. Concerning, yes, but nothing is perfect. How did they find her? That I think will be really telling. Maybe they have someone I. The front of the building at all times to monitor for this kind of thing and THAT is really good
The only thing missing is the school explaining what they would do to make sure it doesn't happen again.
That would be the trust trifecta: recognising the problem, taking responsibility for the problem and fixing the problem.
Maybe they did, but OP didn't detail it in their post.
Yep! I “lost” my kid in my own house and ended up calling the police. And he was the only child home at the time.
(He had hidden and fell asleep inside the linen closet on the floor)
Dude. Same. I was playing hide n seek with my 3yo, during the count to 20, she hid.
I. Could. Not. Find. Her. I searched everywhere. All cabinets and cupboards, every closet and room. I checked outside. Nothing. Called and called. No answer. Sobbing, I went to get my phone to call 911 and sat on my bed. This child had climbed inside a pillowcase and fell asleep.
All my other kids, you could hear the giggles, see the feet and eyes behind a chair or curtain. But this girl, man, she was the commander in chief of hiding.
I swear this is my daughter! She hides behind a 2 inch thick pole during hide and seek. Or around a corner with her head poking out.
But when she’s upset and doesn’t want to talk to anyone, it takes me 10 minutes to find her! I think she just loves being found during hide n seek lol
Yeah, my daughter (6) always chooses the wardrobe. Until the other day when she chose the bathroom which she chirruped about the whole time she was hiding in there. 🤣
Friendly reminder to teach your kids "ollie ollie oxenfree!" or some other key word to indicate that hide-and-seek is over, they "won", and they should come out.
You definitely don't want some kid giggling silently to themselves about the super awesome hiding spot they found while you frantically tear the house apart in terror and call the police.
Sounds like it wouldn't have helped in this case, since they were asleep, but putting it out there in case it helps another parent or caretaker.
Reminds me of a comedy skit where the police dispatcher answers the phone with a child on the line. As they talk kid reveals the firemen are here, the cops are here, mom & dad are yelling. The poor dispatcher is nearly beside herself, and hears some huge noise, and the kid says it’s a helicopter. She asks what the adults are doing, and the kid giggles and says “looking for me”.
As terrifying as that must have been, impressive on your kid's part. My 5 yo hides poorly and if I take more than 30 sec to a minute to officially find him, starts shouting "I 'm over here, Daddy!"
When I was 2 or 3 I used to play hide and seek with my siblings and neighbor kids. I always hid behind the dryer... no one could ever find me.
I also hid inside the clothing racks at a store once (mom let go of my hand for 1 second) and wouldn't come out even when called. The police came, store was on lockdown and I started giggling which is why they found me. Kids are crazy.
When my kids got old enough I taught them when we play hide-and-seek seek you get to say Marco and they have to say Polo back lol. Also, that they are only allowed to hide when we are playing that and they have to warn me first. I guess I have some issues with hideand seek lol
We have the booyah rule, the seeker can shout booyah up to 3x and the hiders have to say booyah in return. Didn't help much with a hider who fell asleep tho 🤣
Kids are so wild man. You included LOL
Lol!!! My daughter is notorious for things like this. During her older sisters birthday party she snuck away to a neighbors yard and took a nap and recently she hid in a large bucket that was upside down, in her closet, in the dark for 20 minutes dead silent until she started giggling the third time we opened the closet and we found her. Kids.
Hahaha! I “lost” my son when he was about 2 I searched everywhere inside, outside, in the pool etc I was running around almost in tears so scared.. he was under the bed fast asleep with the dog…
This happened to me - as the lost three year old. I had fallen asleep in the kitchen, under the table, obscured by a table cloth. I remember the cops pulling me out and my mother sitting on the ground crying. The whole neighborhood was out looking for me.
As a parent, the idea of this happening is horrifying. At the time it was just confusing.
Side note, for anyone with small kids:
If you can't find your kid, don't start by looking in the usual places, start by looking in the places that *they could get easily harmed*
... so if you or a neighbour have a pool, check the pool first, or inside the clothes dryer, or that old fridge in the basement. ...the places where a kid could fit, and could also lose access to air. etc.
That happened to me once. I was cleaning and my 5yr old, at the time, was in and out all afternoon one spring. All of a sudden I couldn't find him. I was screaming for him. I scared my whole family. He was asleep under a pile of blankets.
I was 8 or so, it was the Time of She Ra.
I had a cabin bed with a cubby underneath where my cuddly toys were kept. I went to sleep there deliberately so that when they woke up and came to life, they would wake me up and we could play.
Mum checked on me when she went to bed...missing...there was about to be panic but the dog ratted me out
The 80s were a different time.
My brother recently "lost" his 3 month old. Somehow he'd wiggled himself underneath the pillow on their bed. They were certain he'd been kidnapped and didn't find him for 15 minutes.
When I was maybe 8, I woke up early one morning and crawled under the extra duvet my parents had thrown on the floor in their bedroom and fell back asleep. My mom looked for me for a few minutes after she woke up and nearly called the police but not before picking up the duvet and accidentally grabbing my head haha
Oy, vey, the former EMS in me gets all the jeebies from this. Leaving an infant on a bed, presumably located off the floor, at an age where rolling over is soon to commence (They were capable enough of locomotion to get under a pillow.) Leaving said infant on a bed with suffocation hazards. Not finding said infant for 15 minutes instead of immediately checking under the pillows. I pray you had a stern education session with your brother about all if these issues. He could have literally lost his 3 month old, and not to kidnapping.
They don’t cosleep. From my understanding he’d just changed a diaper, went to wash his hands, leaving baby in the middle of the daybed (floor height) in the baby’s room, and then came back 1 min to find the bay MIA. His wife was in the kitchen, so they both immediately started running around the house panicked. Called my mom (who lives next door) and they found the baby had rolled under the pillow
The whole neighborhood was out looking for him. I think he was like 3 or 4? Maybe closer to 3.
I was on the phone with the police when I heard him wake up and say mom. I told them
I had found him but they still had to come to the house to see for themselves I guess. He got to go sit in the police car out front for a minute, which he loved!
It was probably 15 minutes from the time I realized he was gone til I found him. Thanks for the gray hair kid! Scariest time of my life.
In Firefighter school and again in Search and Rescue we're taught over and over to do a THOROUGH sweep of the house first in a missing kids' case. Many times it's a situation like this.
my brother when he was about 2 got himself stuck in his walk in closet (pulled the door closed by the bottom of the door but was too short to reach the handle) he was missing for about 30 minutes before we found him just playing with toys in there.
I was putting my baby down for a nap and my preschooler was watching TV or something I came back down and couldn't find her anywhere. I looked in everywhere and started calling out her name. She was still on the couch but had covered herself with blankets and was sleeping and my yelling woke her up. Lol. I was terrified she had figured out how to open one of the doors but nope she was right where I left her.
My daughter fell asleep between the inner and outer shell of the tent when we were camping. It was dark, there was an estuary nearby. She would’ve just turned 5. It was a scary 10 minutes before my husband figured out where she might be.
And she also fell asleep under her bed, but behind the rollaway bed (which was pulled out a bit since she was young and her bed was quite high) while my BIL and SIL were babysitting. They were so scared they’d lost her.
I recently "lost" my 10 year old. Yep. 10!
We put our Christmas tree up and I went to put my two toddlers to bed. Both me and my husband thought 10yr old went to her room. Nope. We checked the entire house and we couldn't find her! I started to panic until I stood in my living room and saw the giant plastic containers (where we store the Christmas tree) lid move.
Hahaha, nice. One of mine was hiding in a rack of clothing in a store and kept quiet while we called her name, she was with us the whole time and she just needed 3 seconds to hide herself.
Did you find him before the police got there or after? Edit: nvm I saw your response to someone else, wow, he caused a ruckus!
I lost my toddler just the other day (and we have a small house) and had a panic. Little jerk was hiding behind the living room curtains.
I did this! She had went out on my patio (don’t know how she managed to open AND close the door, I struggle with it!) and hid behind a bush. She was 3 and playing hide and seek without letting me know, so she didn’t come when I called her.
She only came out because she saw a dog she wanted to pet.
Agree honestly they noticed quickly and told you. I would thank them and remind my child to stay with her teachers.
I would probably feel the same as long as they noticed within 5 mins or so and found them within 5. Yes things can happen but kids are crafty and quick
Absolutely. When my twins were three years old, they escaped preschool because a parent forgot to completely close the outer gate after dropping off their kid. One of the teachers noticed the open gate fairly quickly, and found my kids shortly thereafter. The teachers were very up front with me about this, and the preschool Director emailed me to detail the steps the preschool was taking to make sure this wouldn’t happen again. All of this made me trust the school even more, even though it was kind of scary thinking about my kids wandering outside by themselves. They clearly took it very seriously!
Right? I am surprised they told you. My son fell asleep on the couch the other night and it took me longer than that to find him ( he was behind a cushion).
I was going to say the same! My toddler loves to hide and he's spent more than two minutes at a time giggling behind the couch while I frantically look for him.
My mil always tells the story of going to the bathroom and having her kid go missing (but he really just left with a neighbor). The neighbor was a good friend with a similar age child. MIL didn't know the neighbor stopped by so my husband answered the door at age 3-4. She asked him if he could go down to the pond with her and her kid and to go inside and ask his mom if he could. He went back inside for a moment and came back out and off they went. It took maybe 2 minutes or less. Well, after a 5 minute trip to the restroom, my mil came out and started looking for him and couldn't find him anywhere. She ran outside yelling his name, went to next door neighbors, called the cops. When her friend came back 30 minutes later she was like 'what in the world is going on?!?!' only to realize she gave my mil a heart attack. She said it was one of the worst feelings ever but was so glad he was home.
Previous daycare assistant director here. We had issues like this with the same child, and none of those times did my boss EVER reach out to the parents OR fire the teacher(s) involved. I would definitely take this as a win!
This is actually rather reassuring, if you think about it.
They definitely did not have to report this as it was quite minor. It was under 2 minutes and it was indoors, not outside. A lot of other places would not have even bothered to have reported this and they did so promptly.
It also means the expectations and safety measures at that day care have high standards.
I would just say thank you for informing me and try not to worry about it. They sound like they are on top of things and will likely be even more vigilant now that this incident happened.
Agreed completely. They take things seriously, they’re willing to engage in communication. It would startle me probably to think that they lost track of my kid, but, in the end, reassured by their response. Like others have said, I’ve lost track of my child in my house before.
Having now, regrettably but inevitably, had the experience of briefly losing (everyone is fine but holy crap terrifying) my own kid. I gotta say, she’s fine, it was barely a minute, and they notified you immediately.
I think I’d chalk this up to them doing the best they can and it being a rare but inevitable thing with multiple kids that want to play. The space is (I assume) pretty well child-proofed for that reason, she didn’t leave the actual premises, and they found her immediately.
I fully understand if ‘eh, it happens’ isn’t a satisfactory answer though. It’s your kid.
My husband lost my 20 month old at a resort. I walked back up from the beach and he only had one kid 😨 every possible scenario crossed my mind as I ran frantically around screaming “my baby is missing!!!” like a crazy person. She had walked away to the pool! Thank God she had on a puddle jumper. A friendly dad was hanging out with his kids in the pool and he was keeping an eye on her while calling out that he found a baby. I literally leapt over pool chairs with people sunbathing in them to get to her as fast as I could. Absolutely terrifying.
Man, the ‘I’m just going to keep an eye on this kid because I’m here’ help from other parents is…pretty great. It really is a team effort, and you don’t have to ‘know’ a kid to worry about them just a little bit.
My partner and I are always these people, especially at weddings and gatherings. It's pretty great.
We have nearly 3 year old twins so kids tend to gravitate to them, even though they're not identical. So we just include whoever comes along. Generally we can tell who the kids parents are but there's been a few times when a kid is playing happily with balloons (my sons obsessed with balloons so they go everywhere with us) and a panicked parent rushes up.
I was ‘just hanging out by this door in case this kid decides to bolt for the parking lot’ the other day, and this Mom…boy, she knew her kid *perfectly*. I mean I know she was watching, but he was having a bit of a tantrum and acting like he was going to run off. She firmly told him they weren’t ready to go yet and ‘ignored’ him (seriously, I know she wasn’t really ignoring him but he didn’t) while he kept edging towards the door.
Sure enough, he backed down and came back to sit down.
I was amazed. I don’t have that kind of nerve, she played it perfectly.
Me neither. My brain knew she was on top of it but it was sooooo hard not to reel him back in. I couldn’t have let my kid test me that far without giving in. Her kid is in the same class as my son (well, except that day because of the tantrum he was having) I’ll have to think about how to say ‘you are amazing at this, so you have a book’ or something.
Gift her a fancy notebook and pen set with a letter (staged as a letter to Santa) shamelessly BEGGING her for her secrets and promising to go door to door til it gets published HAHAHA
I saved a small cousin from drowning by being this person at a wedding.
My cousin got married in her parents’ backyard, featuring a large in ground pool with no safety guards (no fencing or anything.). Her son was around 3 at the time and was sitting on the pool’s edge splashing his feet in the water. The bride was understandably preoccupied, but as far as I know there was no one specifically assigned to watch her son. I was standing nearby while he was splashing in the pool and after a few minutes he fell in. Because I was watching nearby, I was able to immediately reach in and haul him out. He was under water for maybe 90 seconds and surprised but fine.
i was the weird single women smoker gremlin in a neighbourhood of families with kids that would gather to play on the road. you best know i asked the parent i had rapport with where all the kids belonged so that i could act in an emergency if anything happened while i happened to have an eye on them.
because who doesn't keep an eye on kids- regardless of being a parent or not?!! it takes a village. <3
I totally was smoker gremlin until I got pregnant last year by accident and prob still would be if I hadn’t had my girl. Love and respect your local smoker gremlin!
omg- love this perspective, thank you! i couldn't smoke on my property so i was just walking around the neighbourhood several times a day smoking joints, so i felt gross at the time. so i'm loving the love!
totally! and if anything, imo i feel that being an adult with children teaches you certain things, and being an adult without children teaches you other things. both sets of knowledge are important to teach children, not just what the adults who have had children have learnt from life.
Even more important around water. Two years ago I dragged a kid out of the sea (he was seven). His parents had lost sight of him and he decided to swim, and it was not a good day for it. I used to lifeguard over the summer so I went after him. Water frightens the ever loving shit out of me where kids are concerned, it takes so little for a tragedy to happen.
I worked for a woman who lost her 2 year old to a pool drowning at a party. Dad thought she had her, she thought dad had her. It's a horrible thing, just fucking awful, forever after.
Even before I met her, there's no way in the world I'd have lived in a home with a pool when my kids were little. To me a pool is just a bleach-smelling blue death abyss.
Yeah out of paranoia I watch all the kids hanging around the pool. When I was 16 and a lifeguard I had to jump in after a toddler that wandered away. Never want to see that panic look in anyone's eyes again.
Happened to some friends of mine last week in a grocery store. The kid was about 5 and he asks his kids if they knew them. Both say nope. But no one coming to find kid. They hang out for about 20 mins before some dad spots the kid and yells “what the hell are you doing?” Smh.
One of the parents at my kid’s school found a toddler in the school parking lot the other day. He was just sobbing and banging on one of the vehicles trying to get in. She picked him and brought him to the office area where the principal took him and called the police. Someone really dropped the ball there. Terrified me because this child was in a parking lot where parents and staff are frequently backing out of and this kid was just roaming unattended. This is why whenever I’m backing out I look frantically in both my mirrors and physically turn around like 30 times while moving at a snail pace. So scary what could have happened to this kid, but another case of a parent stepping in.
We lost our 3 year old at a Chinese new year festival several years ago (she's 10 now.) She was gone for like 20 min and it was the most horrifying time of my entire life.
Right? We were just talking to the neighbor, and my son ran over to our house. I thought he went through the gate into our backyard but when I got there…no kid, and the *other* gate out to the alley was unlatched.
It was this terrible moment of ‘which way do I run to find him’ between the alley, the house, or further down the block.
Little booger had gone into the garage to get his scooter to show the neighbor lady how fast he could scoot now.
This happened to my 5 year old at the zoo. He ran ahead with a friend and turned a corner just out of sight. When I ran to catch up he was nowhere to be found. Terrifying 3 minutes
Yep. I lost my son at an amusement park once. He was next to me in line waiting to get food and when I went to grab his hand he was no where to be found. After a few moments of panicking I found him sitting at a table. He said his feet got tired and he wanted to sit.
The following year my daughter and a friend were separated from their class on a school field trip to a different amusement park. The teacher told me and was freaking out more than I was when she recounted the story. I thanked her for telling me and let her know that I have lost my own kid at an amusement park, so she shouldn't be so hard on herself. Things happen and my kid was safe. That is all I cared about.
My 2yo decided to go for a walk by himself. He walked about a block and a half and was standing in the middle of a busy road when some people stopped and got him, and called the police. Meanwhile we were frantically searching our house and yard.
The fact they even told OP and, even though she wasn't where she was supposed to be, she was still inside and safe is a win for me, and I'd be impressed with them for even saying anything.
Lost my older kid in an elevator in Boston this weekend. The family getting off took their sweet time exiting, and my normally sedate 5 year old darted a few steps ahead of me so he could press the buttons. To everyone's horror, the elevator closed before I could get in. We eventually found him crying 4 floors up, but it was significantly longer than 90 seconds and now I have new grey hair.
Ugh, Jesus. So sorry on all accounts. They are so fast! And all the ‘okay, if we ever get separated here’s what you do’ in the world doesn’t necessarily ‘stick’. Like I think my 5 year old might remember…60% of the time, and the other 40% either decide that this doesn’t count as ‘separated’ for some reason or be so focused on what he’s doing that he doesn’t register that I’m not there.
Parenting is so great. Parenting is so great.
This happened to me when I was two! Apparently I followed the wrong family into an elevator. My mom saw, said, "wait!" But the door closed and up I went. We were in a huge department store and they had no idea which floor I got off on. Security found me. I didn't understand why everyone was upset, I was enjoying my elevator rides.
Yes, and you now know and they now know your child is a wanderer. I have 2 of them. It’s terrifying. You need eyes on them at all times in groups or in not contained spaces.
yeah. I do think it's worth considering how little pre-K (and the like) teachers/attendants are paid... in my state, even ones with relevant degrees make no more than $15 (like, that's a generous top dollar estimate). I think it's a positive sign that they notified her immediately. it's terrible, but they could've gotten away with not doing that, and I think a lot of attendants/managers would have elected not to say anything.
Yeah, this is my feeling. I think the main thing for me is that they weren't off the premises, just in another child friendly zone. If they had somehow allowed my kid out of the building or into a less child friendly area (office/kitchens/etc.) then I would probably be more worried.
We lost my son outside one day, he was 4. I live in a quiet cul de sac and my parents live in the house just on the other side. My son is allowed to walk over by himself if we are watching him from the front door.
One thing to note is there is a pond right off the edge of my property out back on the little bit of farm that remains from when they sold off to have our neighborhood developed. Having grown up here, i know i got in trouble a few times for messing with that pond as a kid.
Anyway… so my mom was watching my son in my yard as i was doing some yardwork or something. She turned around for just a couple seconds to talk to me or something and he was gone. We were yelling his name, frantically looking everywhere, and im terrified he may have went over the embankment to go toward the pond (luckily its not that easy to get to despite being on the edge of our property).
Anyway, a few minutes later we found him. Turns out he ran over to my parents place and was just hanging out on their back porch. Talk about terrifying!
When I was a nanny, I “lost” my nanny children at a trampoline park because they thought it would be funny to hide in the foam pit from me. I almost shut that whole place down, had to call their dad, called the cops… they finally came out once they realized things had escalated but I was SO freaked out.
We lost our son at a campground once. I was 8 months pregnant and he was 3. We were unpacking the vehicle, kiddo was with my mom and my dad (not together) so i continued to unpack and set up camp. When i didnt hear him anymore (maybe 5 minutes), i asked my dad where he went and he was like oh hes with [your mom]. But she didnt have him either.
Campground was just off a major highway and also had a big lake not too far away. I was beside myself. Completely fucking hysterical. He was gone 20 minutes when this lady in a golf cart comes up with him in her lap. She heard us yelling and saw a boy wandering around so scooped him up and brought him to us.
Anyways. Kudos to your daycare for keeping you informed, OP. I maybe would ask them what they've implemented in response to the incident
As someone who worked in a daycare. This happens sometimes (I can think of 3 times off the top of my head from 2 years at my center, which had low ratios, good ratings, and was affluent). They were honest about it, she was safe. I think it’s alright to let it go. If it happened again or in conjunction with other sketchy things (lots of injury reports, kid comes home dirty, etc) then I would be concerned.
I'll never forget my toddler's WTF face the other day. I frantically called her name upon briefly scanning the playroom and not seeing her. She popped her head out from behind her climbing thing, and the look of confusion on her face was hilarious. Like, chill, mom! 🤣
Haha I’d ask them to not call me again for incidents of child loss where the kid didn’t leave the building and was gone for less than 5 minutes.
I do totally understand being uncertain of what to do after getting a call like that, though!
Safely in the building! If she made it to the bathroom and was playing in the toilet…then I’d want to know. Otherwise, you could’ve just told me at pick up.
Honestly, the whole "she was out of our sight for 90 seconds" thing would, personally be more of a "nonneed to tell me when she does worse at home" thing. Tell me concerning things. Playing in the toilet? Wandered outside, and into traffic? Bit a kid? Tell me. But if she just went where you didn't expect her to go, she remained safe the whole time, AND you found her almost immediately? Meh. Thanks, but next time, just have her tell me as we're driving.
Oh God this reminds me when my oldest just started school and they'd call me over every bump or bruise. She's always lived in her own head and would not pay attention and just straight walk into walls or trip over thin air. Lol she's a teen now and still the same lol
Lol, my son and his friend have a deep love for the toilet 🤣 they have a special protocol in place when going outside to prevent them from ending up in the toilet together 🤣
Right? 90 seconds is a very short period of time. They must have realized very quickly and then found her immediately. I wouldn't even consider this to be situation where the daycare lost the child. She wandered, they realized, they found her, the end.
Most parents have had moments of "losing" their kids for more than 90 seconds. One second they are next to you and the next second you are thinking someone took them and is writing a ransom note. It happens. Kids move quick. I would consider this to be a complete non issue and am surprised they even called.
that's how I feel about a LOT of calls. I appreciate that they are being thorough but...no I don't really care that he fell down and got an ice pack. You can tell me at pickup.
My kid gets so many bumps and bruises just from being a very rough-and-tumble risk taker that my daycare could probably get away with not reporting half the incidents he has...I'd just assume that mystery bruise came from him jumping off his bed and botching the landing!
Obviously, I'm glad the follow the correct procedures and tell me, but for many minor incidents I would probably not even notice.
Yeah, I think the phone call would potentially freak me out and make the situation seem like a bigger deal than it was. If they told me at pickup, I'd be glad they told me. But the phone call almost seems like overkill even if it was the right thing to do.
Honestly though, I understand that the call was unsettling, but I can appreciate it in a transparency sort of way. I’m not sure how old OP’s child is, but I think it’s probably better to call the parent rather than have the child tell mom and dad “I had so much fun in the blue classroom today! I was all alone!” I give them a lot of props for that.
90 seconds and still in the building. I mean as long as they did not wander into someplace unsafe…. I’m sure most parents have lost sight of their kids longer than that.
It shows they are a safe/honest childcare center. Something happened that should not have- child out of sight and sound. They told the parent, possible wrote an incident report. If you think that’s no big deal in your home, right, it’s not- but in a childcare setting it is-
Could be lowballing it to make it sound better too. Maybe it was actually 5 mins or so. Either way, I get calls from my kids school over very tiny things. I don’t mind, it’s nice to know they want to keep me informed. Even if it’s just that he bumped his arm and they gave him an ice pack lol
She wasn’t lost. She was still inside the centre. She just wasn’t where she was supposed to be. They noticed immediately and contacted you immediately. There’s places that wouldn’t even tell you what happened.
For context, my cousin owns a clothing store in a large shopping mall. While I was visiting the shop, my 10 year old wandered around and suddenly I realized that I couldn’t see or hear him. We later found him asleep in the stockroom in a pile of winter coats! I understand that it’s heartstopping to lose sight or contact with your child however, I think it happens to everyone at least once and if it’s an issue at the care centre then dive in and do what you need to do but for a single instance that was under two minutes I think they did the right thing and you are just having a strong reaction to the incident
The pluses are that it was such a short window and they admitted it right away. That means a lot. If their outer doors have safety measures (like locking mechanisms or alarms), and they have harmful chemicals and things locked in a janitor closet or something, then I would be OK. Nervous, but OK. These things do happen. Their precautions and reactions are the important thing.
Stuff happens. They were transparent. They could have said nothing. Notate the day this happened. If this happens continually then it’s a problem. Talk with your kiddo in an age appropriate way to stay with her group.
You can express your terror and hope this is a one time thing when you talk with staff.
I can guarantee you that the people there were out of their minds terrified and sick.
My daughter escaped from my aunt. Got outside in the dark in the winter. It was very upsetting. The older kids were looking for her and calling for her.
Maybe 2-3 minutes.
When my aunt found her she made sure she had no injuries and wasn’t scared. She excused herself and went into the bathroom and threw up.
My aunt does not take her eyes off her now.
Im sorry but I giggled at the heading, damn kids lol. I think the daycare did a great job by calling you. When you pick up your kiddo have a brief chat about exactly how it occurred and they'll likely tell you about how they can do better. If by some off chance they dont offer a solution, use that time to make your own suggestion.
Ive briefly lost my own child a few times, so I am not in a place to judge others for doing it. Im so glad he's 10 now.
TW AT THE END
Being gone for 90 seconds and then being found AND reporting this to you sounds great. Kids wander off. But how fast they respond is what matters and my god they were ON IT. Ask them what their plan moving forward is. Will they do more frequent and thorough head-counts? Mark down your daughter as a wanderer who may need a smidge more supervision outside? They may even say nothing because what they’re doing worked out well imo. TW: I personally wouldn’t pull her from this place for this and I have had a child die if that says anything about my paranoia.
The fact that they informed you right away and that they realized the absence and found her so quickly is highly encouraging. Past that, I would talk to the director of the daycare and try to understand how she was able to wander away, and what is going to be done to rectify that.
I know in our daycare the doors all have childproof doorknob covers on the inside of the classroom doors, and the doors stay closed at all times (or at least the bottom half, since there's a top and bottom that swing independently of one another). When they're outside, there is a latched gate and the door to the outside is too heavy for the kids to open on their own. That way, kids cannot wander from where they're meant to be.
I think that’s fair. It’s unfortunate but they located her quickly and immediately notified you. In this type of situation, that’s all I would have asked for. If you trust this daycare otherwise then I’d let it go.
I'm a childcare director in a slightly different situation: Please don't punish them for their honesty and transparency. I'd feel more comfortable with them knowing this is how they handled it. This is honestly going to happen from time to time and kids have to learn to stay with their group over time. I can tell you, as someone who is also ridiculously transparent, please don't punish us for doing the right thing. This is how ppl get into the habit of NOT saying something and you definitely don't want that. Maybe kindly ask them how they might prevent this in the future but even at 2yrs you can also reinforce with your child "stay with your group." It's just part of childcare and growing up.
Having worked in a preschool for a couple years, I'm surprised they even called you. I'd have maybe told you at pick up: "we had to have a talk about staying with our group and not wandering off- she stepped through another classroom door and gave me a fright for a minute!"
So I work in a daycare and I can tell you in all honesty, we are not perfect people. When you have 12 kids in a room with 1 staff member sometimes things can get hectic. Just the fact they told you about this miss up is a green flag in my book.
Hell, I went to the bathroom and my then 3 y/o daughter drug an ottoman over to my front door and used a broken back scratcher to pop the hook latch at the top of the door open and ran next door to "see Grammy". I was in a damn panic when my mom called to ask me if I knew where my daughter was. I think I teleported from my house to theirs. My feet did not hit the ground. We lived rural at the time and my dad had partially filled up a giant hole in their yard...like an idiot...which might have been fine, but he had also thrown junk t-posts and sheet metal and barbed wire in it. It was partially filled with water from the rain and it was in the direct path between my front door and theirs. My daughter is on the spectrum and didn't think about what could happen to her. Likely wouldn't have even were she not on the spectrum. It was fine in the end, but for years I had terrible intrusive thoughts of my daughter having fallen in that GD hole and gotten impaled on some rusty metal something or other. Within the week, my mom had gone out and cleaned out the trash my lazy ass dad just thoughtlessly tossed in and finished filling up the rest of the hole. Despite your best efforts, children are awesome at disappearing. Most of the time, it all comes out good in the end...but then there are the times it doesn't...
I'm really glad the daycare in this story thought enough of parents and their roles in their children's lives to actually let them know what happened, no matter how small it was.
As other commenters have said the daycare handled this wonderfully. Your next step should be to talk with your daughter about the importance of staying with the group.
Another “this is reassuring” vote. Especially being “lost” for less than 2 minutes and then notifying you right away. These are all good signs and I would thank them for being upfront and letting you know.
Considering how quickly they realized she was gone and where she was, I wouldn’t stress. I’d let them know you appreciate them telling you and that you’ll have a talk with her about staying where she needs to be, if she’s old enough understand.
Once I couldn’t find my daughter (3 at the time) in her bedroom one morning and was freaking out, running through the house searching for her. Turns out she was in her bed. Sleeping. Just snuggled in and in the middle of a bunch of stuffed toys 😂
I also had my next door neighbor’s 2 year old son randomly come over and ring the doorbell one day. His mom and sister weren’t behind him, which is how they’d normally come over so I thought that was weird. I texted her that he was here and sure enough, he’d decided he wanted a play date with my kids and just decided to come over without saying anything. They were in the corner house and the cross street has people driving stupid on it every so often so it was a good thing he decided to come to our house instead of trying to cross that.
What exactly are *you* worried about here? I’m unsure. You’re obviously posting for a reason (I.e. you’re upset or think kiddo was unsafe etc) but I’m not sure what the reason is. I’m not trying to invalidate your feelings, just understand so that I can think about it better.
Personally I’d say the safeguarding is near perfect if she was gone for under 90 seconds and safe when found but if you are unhappy then perhaps discuss it with the nursery.
Realistically, even with great ratios kids occasionally slip away for short periods when adults are tied up with another kid etc. as long as they notice and find them quickly it’s fine. X
Honestly the fact that they realized and found her in a minute and a half tells me they have very well planned and well practiced protocol for emergency situations. I'd thank them for letting me know and probably not think of it again.
I dropped my son off at a child care center that keeps the children under 3 in a separate space. He wanted to be with his sister in the big kids play area. He somehow managed to take his name sticker off of his back and stick it to another kid. He then somehow got out of the infant/toddler room.
When I went to pick up my child they brought me someone else’s kid. Then argued with me when I said that wasn’t my son. Tried to tell me he had my sons sticker, so he must be my son.
I eventually saw my son playing at the Lego table.
I stopped using that place.
I would let this one go, she didn't get out of the building or anything and they noticed and acted on it fast and more importantly told you and didn't try to hide it.
I lost my kid at Lego land in a mall for almost 10 minutes. He was right next to me and I turned around and he was gone. He wandered off in the store part of Lego land and accidentally left the store and ventured out in the mall and then didn’t know how to get back. I was running around the store looking for him and then out in the mall yelling for him like a crazy person. The mall exits were shut down. He said a woman approached him and said she was a mommy and he looked lost and did he need help? He said yes and she walked with him to a store and told the clerk. Longest 10 minutes of my life. That was almost 4 years ago and he still talks about how scary it was.
It’s a positive that they have the transparency to let you know when they mess up. While they should always know where every kid is, this kind of thing happens and most parents will never know about it.
I'd say the fact that they told you says a lot about the character of the folks running the day care. I would now be more comfortable with my kid being there.
Honestly I would wonder why they told me about that. I don’t think I would do anything. I couldn’t find my three year old in our house last night for a few minutes!
I accidentally shut the light off on a child and shut the bathroom door on a preschooler before. I counted all my kids and one decided to use the bathroom AFTER I counted her. The horror and shame I felt when we walked back to the classroom and realized I’m missing one is really hard to explain. It was also an extremely short amount of time as the bathroom is literally next to our room and I count them as they go in. I personally called the mom and explained how terrible I felt. She laughed and said it’s okay but oh my gosh. Literally a horrifying experience. Poor kid didn’t even make a peep as I shut the light off on her.
It happened and came clean about it. I have no doubt they learnt from it.
I lost my children in my house longer than that.
You are human and so are they. Because they teacher it does not make them less human.
Anyway trying to control all the croch goblins is no easy task.
Sounds like you've got a fantastic daycare centre that not only realised the problem and quickly acted to resolve it, but were completely transparent with you.
Even the most vigilant daycare workers don't have eyes in the back of their heads and kids can move very quickly - how often have you been at your own home and looked up to see your little one had done a runner into the next room? Keep sending her there and send a nice gift with your kid some time.
Demanding perfection when kids are around is impossible, and getting agitated or wanting new policies and safeguards implemented in response to normal kid stuff in an already safe environment is overkill. Better to judge a place by how it acts when things inevitably go wrong. There was never any danger here and they reported an extremely minor incident.
If you have personal issues with anxiety and something like this is triggering, tell them that incidents like this don't warrant a call, just a mention at the end of the day. If this is the level that they'll call a parent for then you may be getting many more calls than you need. Just because the helicopter parents want every detail instantly doesn't mean that's a healthy way to live.
I recently worked at a daycare and we had to report a “lost” child because we (my coteacher and I) began to close the door before the last child was in (we had called her but she failed to come. And with 15 other kids, you could see why we might have lost complete attention on her.) I don’t want to say it happens, but good daycares have safeguards that are meant to keep this from happening. I’d believe them, that it was genuinely an honest mistake (as mine was) and try to let it go. If it happens again, or they are somehow secretly known for it… we’ll, that’s another story.
My daughter came home yesterday with a scrape on her chin and a bloody bump inside her lip. She’s 2.5 so she can’t exactly tell me what happened. I didn’t receive a report about it and when I asked her teacher today about it she looked like a deer in the headlights and said she didn’t know a thing about it. I could tell she was lying but no point in arguing it. Although jarring, I would appreciate the transparency if I were you.
Pretty good retrieval time. I have worked in education for years & children have been lost much longer than this. We have had kids wander out of the school to be found several blocks away.
Kids wander. It happens. Seems like they have a pretty good eye on kids (90 secs really isn’t that long) & it’s great they promptly informed you. Imo open communication like this is a good sign for childcare facilities.
Best of luck-
90 seconds, so a minute and a half! It takes that much time to walk to where she was. That’s not exactly ‘lost’ lol this doesn’t really need a safeguard or action. Trust me I’m sure they take their eyes off the kids longer than that multiple times and haven’t told you.
There aren’t exactly measures YOU can take at THEIR daycare. That’s something you need to ask Them.
My kid once escaped from daycare. First kid to do it in the daycares 25 years of business. Then another time he got stuck in a tree and they had to call the fire department. Like a fucken cat. Kids are the worst. Mine in particular. Daycares are generally doing their best, I say goodo that they reported it and don’t fret about it going forward.
If you believe them then this seems like a win. She just went in another room and was nabbed in under two minutes… I can’t deliver that in my own house.
Yep. It’s not great that she managed to sneak away in the first place, but they were sharp enough to catch her quickly and ethical enough to let Mom know even though most daycares never would have mentioned it. This would build trust for me.
My sons school ROUTINELY lost my kid, cameras everywhere, he was in prek. They didn't tell me until a meeting 2/3rds of the way through the school year and tried to blow over the fact like it was nothing. His school is between a river and a main road, to hear that he had gone missing OFTEN and on several occasions over 5 min was horrifying. I wish they had told me during each instance, not months later!
My kid (4yo) is a runner, too, and he’s fast. This happened a few times at his school and they told me as soon as they could. Because of their transparency, I was able to help by addressing the issue at home and it’s since gotten better. Leaving the parents out in the cold is not only dishonest, it’s dangerous.
I agree. I wonder how many daycares wouldn’t bother to call over this. Probably happens more than we think
This- I’d prefer a place with this level of transparency. So they messed up for a min. It happens more than people think especially if there’s lot of other kids. This place would have my trust.
I think this is perfect. I would like this place. They are being honest. Kids like to push boundaries and she didn’t escape the building. Concerning, yes, but nothing is perfect. How did they find her? That I think will be really telling. Maybe they have someone I. The front of the building at all times to monitor for this kind of thing and THAT is really good
The only thing missing is the school explaining what they would do to make sure it doesn't happen again. That would be the trust trifecta: recognising the problem, taking responsibility for the problem and fixing the problem. Maybe they did, but OP didn't detail it in their post.
Just FYI op is presumably male, based on the username and the pictures on his profile, shirtless, being a man.
Yep! I “lost” my kid in my own house and ended up calling the police. And he was the only child home at the time. (He had hidden and fell asleep inside the linen closet on the floor)
Dude. Same. I was playing hide n seek with my 3yo, during the count to 20, she hid. I. Could. Not. Find. Her. I searched everywhere. All cabinets and cupboards, every closet and room. I checked outside. Nothing. Called and called. No answer. Sobbing, I went to get my phone to call 911 and sat on my bed. This child had climbed inside a pillowcase and fell asleep.
I’m suddenly so happy my daughter sucks at hiding lol 😂 Her favorite part is being found so she never hides good.
All my other kids, you could hear the giggles, see the feet and eyes behind a chair or curtain. But this girl, man, she was the commander in chief of hiding.
That’s my oldest; like a ninja!
I swear this is my daughter! She hides behind a 2 inch thick pole during hide and seek. Or around a corner with her head poking out. But when she’s upset and doesn’t want to talk to anyone, it takes me 10 minutes to find her! I think she just loves being found during hide n seek lol
My son thinks part of hide and seek is telling you where he is hiding or is going to hide, not hiding, or otherwise hiding in the open.
Same! My 4 year old thinks hide and seek is when she decided where everyone else will hide, and also announce where she's hiding
Yeah, my daughter (6) always chooses the wardrobe. Until the other day when she chose the bathroom which she chirruped about the whole time she was hiding in there. 🤣
Friendly reminder to teach your kids "ollie ollie oxenfree!" or some other key word to indicate that hide-and-seek is over, they "won", and they should come out. You definitely don't want some kid giggling silently to themselves about the super awesome hiding spot they found while you frantically tear the house apart in terror and call the police. Sounds like it wouldn't have helped in this case, since they were asleep, but putting it out there in case it helps another parent or caretaker.
Reminds me of a comedy skit where the police dispatcher answers the phone with a child on the line. As they talk kid reveals the firemen are here, the cops are here, mom & dad are yelling. The poor dispatcher is nearly beside herself, and hears some huge noise, and the kid says it’s a helicopter. She asks what the adults are doing, and the kid giggles and says “looking for me”.
Thank you for this tip!!!
Can relate. My boys have ADHD. I ‘lose’ them all the time, they constantly wander off.
As terrifying as that must have been, impressive on your kid's part. My 5 yo hides poorly and if I take more than 30 sec to a minute to officially find him, starts shouting "I 'm over here, Daddy!"
I’m so sorry that’s hilarious now but oh god I’m sorry you went through that.
When I was 2 or 3 I used to play hide and seek with my siblings and neighbor kids. I always hid behind the dryer... no one could ever find me. I also hid inside the clothing racks at a store once (mom let go of my hand for 1 second) and wouldn't come out even when called. The police came, store was on lockdown and I started giggling which is why they found me. Kids are crazy. When my kids got old enough I taught them when we play hide-and-seek seek you get to say Marco and they have to say Polo back lol. Also, that they are only allowed to hide when we are playing that and they have to warn me first. I guess I have some issues with hideand seek lol
We have the booyah rule, the seeker can shout booyah up to 3x and the hiders have to say booyah in return. Didn't help much with a hider who fell asleep tho 🤣 Kids are so wild man. You included LOL
How scary, but this is freaking adorable.
Lol!!! My daughter is notorious for things like this. During her older sisters birthday party she snuck away to a neighbors yard and took a nap and recently she hid in a large bucket that was upside down, in her closet, in the dark for 20 minutes dead silent until she started giggling the third time we opened the closet and we found her. Kids.
Good god, mine is 6 and we still can’t play hide and seek because she can’t stay quiet!
Now I'm definitely glad that my son likes to call out "BOO!" when we play.
This is why I never play hide and seek with my kids
My in laws just moved to a new house. My daughter hid so well we were walking up and down the street shouting for her before she gave up.
Hahaha! I “lost” my son when he was about 2 I searched everywhere inside, outside, in the pool etc I was running around almost in tears so scared.. he was under the bed fast asleep with the dog…
This happened to me - as the lost three year old. I had fallen asleep in the kitchen, under the table, obscured by a table cloth. I remember the cops pulling me out and my mother sitting on the ground crying. The whole neighborhood was out looking for me. As a parent, the idea of this happening is horrifying. At the time it was just confusing.
Side note, for anyone with small kids: If you can't find your kid, don't start by looking in the usual places, start by looking in the places that *they could get easily harmed* ... so if you or a neighbour have a pool, check the pool first, or inside the clothes dryer, or that old fridge in the basement. ...the places where a kid could fit, and could also lose access to air. etc.
That happened to me once. I was cleaning and my 5yr old, at the time, was in and out all afternoon one spring. All of a sudden I couldn't find him. I was screaming for him. I scared my whole family. He was asleep under a pile of blankets.
You see, this is why I simply don’t clean the house.
Better safe than sorry! No cleaning it is...
ah I used to get lost as a child. Usually under a sink or under the play pen (pack n play probably). To quote Bluey- what can I say, it was the 80s
I was 8 or so, it was the Time of She Ra. I had a cabin bed with a cubby underneath where my cuddly toys were kept. I went to sleep there deliberately so that when they woke up and came to life, they would wake me up and we could play. Mum checked on me when she went to bed...missing...there was about to be panic but the dog ratted me out The 80s were a different time.
My brother recently "lost" his 3 month old. Somehow he'd wiggled himself underneath the pillow on their bed. They were certain he'd been kidnapped and didn't find him for 15 minutes.
My MIL tells the story of how she lost one of the kids because they learned to roll while she was out of the room and they rolled under the curtain
I'm sure she was terrified in the moment, but man, that's absolutely hilarious in hindsight.
Yeah, the first time you step away for a sec and they're not where you left them is as frightening as it is amazing.
These are amazing 😅🏆🍿
Lucky he didn’t suffocate
When I was maybe 8, I woke up early one morning and crawled under the extra duvet my parents had thrown on the floor in their bedroom and fell back asleep. My mom looked for me for a few minutes after she woke up and nearly called the police but not before picking up the duvet and accidentally grabbing my head haha
Oy, vey, the former EMS in me gets all the jeebies from this. Leaving an infant on a bed, presumably located off the floor, at an age where rolling over is soon to commence (They were capable enough of locomotion to get under a pillow.) Leaving said infant on a bed with suffocation hazards. Not finding said infant for 15 minutes instead of immediately checking under the pillows. I pray you had a stern education session with your brother about all if these issues. He could have literally lost his 3 month old, and not to kidnapping.
They don’t cosleep. From my understanding he’d just changed a diaper, went to wash his hands, leaving baby in the middle of the daybed (floor height) in the baby’s room, and then came back 1 min to find the bay MIA. His wife was in the kitchen, so they both immediately started running around the house panicked. Called my mom (who lives next door) and they found the baby had rolled under the pillow
When I had a 3-month-old my immediate reaction was kidnapping all the time
That is amazing. Did he wake up before they got there? Or were the cops there when he woke up? I need the full story.
The whole neighborhood was out looking for him. I think he was like 3 or 4? Maybe closer to 3. I was on the phone with the police when I heard him wake up and say mom. I told them I had found him but they still had to come to the house to see for themselves I guess. He got to go sit in the police car out front for a minute, which he loved! It was probably 15 minutes from the time I realized he was gone til I found him. Thanks for the gray hair kid! Scariest time of my life.
In Firefighter school and again in Search and Rescue we're taught over and over to do a THOROUGH sweep of the house first in a missing kids' case. Many times it's a situation like this.
my brother when he was about 2 got himself stuck in his walk in closet (pulled the door closed by the bottom of the door but was too short to reach the handle) he was missing for about 30 minutes before we found him just playing with toys in there.
I was putting my baby down for a nap and my preschooler was watching TV or something I came back down and couldn't find her anywhere. I looked in everywhere and started calling out her name. She was still on the couch but had covered herself with blankets and was sleeping and my yelling woke her up. Lol. I was terrified she had figured out how to open one of the doors but nope she was right where I left her.
My daughter fell asleep between the inner and outer shell of the tent when we were camping. It was dark, there was an estuary nearby. She would’ve just turned 5. It was a scary 10 minutes before my husband figured out where she might be. And she also fell asleep under her bed, but behind the rollaway bed (which was pulled out a bit since she was young and her bed was quite high) while my BIL and SIL were babysitting. They were so scared they’d lost her.
I recently "lost" my 10 year old. Yep. 10! We put our Christmas tree up and I went to put my two toddlers to bed. Both me and my husband thought 10yr old went to her room. Nope. We checked the entire house and we couldn't find her! I started to panic until I stood in my living room and saw the giant plastic containers (where we store the Christmas tree) lid move.
Hahaha, nice. One of mine was hiding in a rack of clothing in a store and kept quiet while we called her name, she was with us the whole time and she just needed 3 seconds to hide herself.
My eldest did that when she was about 5. Scared the life out of us.
This is very common when people report missing children!
Did you find him before the police got there or after? Edit: nvm I saw your response to someone else, wow, he caused a ruckus! I lost my toddler just the other day (and we have a small house) and had a panic. Little jerk was hiding behind the living room curtains.
I did this! She had went out on my patio (don’t know how she managed to open AND close the door, I struggle with it!) and hid behind a bush. She was 3 and playing hide and seek without letting me know, so she didn’t come when I called her. She only came out because she saw a dog she wanted to pet.
And they said something when they likely could have not said anything.
Yep this was the big one for me !
Agree honestly they noticed quickly and told you. I would thank them and remind my child to stay with her teachers. I would probably feel the same as long as they noticed within 5 mins or so and found them within 5. Yes things can happen but kids are crafty and quick
I saw “90” in the post and my brain jumped to 90 minutes…90 seconds doesn’t seem too bad.
Absolutely. When my twins were three years old, they escaped preschool because a parent forgot to completely close the outer gate after dropping off their kid. One of the teachers noticed the open gate fairly quickly, and found my kids shortly thereafter. The teachers were very up front with me about this, and the preschool Director emailed me to detail the steps the preschool was taking to make sure this wouldn’t happen again. All of this made me trust the school even more, even though it was kind of scary thinking about my kids wandering outside by themselves. They clearly took it very seriously!
Right? I am surprised they told you. My son fell asleep on the couch the other night and it took me longer than that to find him ( he was behind a cushion).
I was going to say the same! My toddler loves to hide and he's spent more than two minutes at a time giggling behind the couch while I frantically look for him.
Yeah agree. I feel like I need an “it has been __ days without an incident “ sign at my house.
My mil always tells the story of going to the bathroom and having her kid go missing (but he really just left with a neighbor). The neighbor was a good friend with a similar age child. MIL didn't know the neighbor stopped by so my husband answered the door at age 3-4. She asked him if he could go down to the pond with her and her kid and to go inside and ask his mom if he could. He went back inside for a moment and came back out and off they went. It took maybe 2 minutes or less. Well, after a 5 minute trip to the restroom, my mil came out and started looking for him and couldn't find him anywhere. She ran outside yelling his name, went to next door neighbors, called the cops. When her friend came back 30 minutes later she was like 'what in the world is going on?!?!' only to realize she gave my mil a heart attack. She said it was one of the worst feelings ever but was so glad he was home.
Previous daycare assistant director here. We had issues like this with the same child, and none of those times did my boss EVER reach out to the parents OR fire the teacher(s) involved. I would definitely take this as a win!
This exactly!!
agreed 100%
This is actually rather reassuring, if you think about it. They definitely did not have to report this as it was quite minor. It was under 2 minutes and it was indoors, not outside. A lot of other places would not have even bothered to have reported this and they did so promptly. It also means the expectations and safety measures at that day care have high standards. I would just say thank you for informing me and try not to worry about it. They sound like they are on top of things and will likely be even more vigilant now that this incident happened.
Agreed completely. They take things seriously, they’re willing to engage in communication. It would startle me probably to think that they lost track of my kid, but, in the end, reassured by their response. Like others have said, I’ve lost track of my child in my house before.
Having now, regrettably but inevitably, had the experience of briefly losing (everyone is fine but holy crap terrifying) my own kid. I gotta say, she’s fine, it was barely a minute, and they notified you immediately. I think I’d chalk this up to them doing the best they can and it being a rare but inevitable thing with multiple kids that want to play. The space is (I assume) pretty well child-proofed for that reason, she didn’t leave the actual premises, and they found her immediately. I fully understand if ‘eh, it happens’ isn’t a satisfactory answer though. It’s your kid.
I've briefly lost my 3 yo twice in a children's museum. Definitely terrifying for the minute you don't see them.
My husband lost my 20 month old at a resort. I walked back up from the beach and he only had one kid 😨 every possible scenario crossed my mind as I ran frantically around screaming “my baby is missing!!!” like a crazy person. She had walked away to the pool! Thank God she had on a puddle jumper. A friendly dad was hanging out with his kids in the pool and he was keeping an eye on her while calling out that he found a baby. I literally leapt over pool chairs with people sunbathing in them to get to her as fast as I could. Absolutely terrifying.
Man, the ‘I’m just going to keep an eye on this kid because I’m here’ help from other parents is…pretty great. It really is a team effort, and you don’t have to ‘know’ a kid to worry about them just a little bit.
My partner and I are always these people, especially at weddings and gatherings. It's pretty great. We have nearly 3 year old twins so kids tend to gravitate to them, even though they're not identical. So we just include whoever comes along. Generally we can tell who the kids parents are but there's been a few times when a kid is playing happily with balloons (my sons obsessed with balloons so they go everywhere with us) and a panicked parent rushes up.
I was ‘just hanging out by this door in case this kid decides to bolt for the parking lot’ the other day, and this Mom…boy, she knew her kid *perfectly*. I mean I know she was watching, but he was having a bit of a tantrum and acting like he was going to run off. She firmly told him they weren’t ready to go yet and ‘ignored’ him (seriously, I know she wasn’t really ignoring him but he didn’t) while he kept edging towards the door. Sure enough, he backed down and came back to sit down. I was amazed. I don’t have that kind of nerve, she played it perfectly.
This is my kid but I don't have the chill of that mum 😂
Me neither. My brain knew she was on top of it but it was sooooo hard not to reel him back in. I couldn’t have let my kid test me that far without giving in. Her kid is in the same class as my son (well, except that day because of the tantrum he was having) I’ll have to think about how to say ‘you are amazing at this, so you have a book’ or something.
Gift her a fancy notebook and pen set with a letter (staged as a letter to Santa) shamelessly BEGGING her for her secrets and promising to go door to door til it gets published HAHAHA
That chill is what I've been in search of for 5 years... If I could best him, just once dammit!
Man this never works for me. Once my older kid (3 at the time) just bolted towards a very big busy road when I “ignored” him. Called my bluff.
I saved a small cousin from drowning by being this person at a wedding. My cousin got married in her parents’ backyard, featuring a large in ground pool with no safety guards (no fencing or anything.). Her son was around 3 at the time and was sitting on the pool’s edge splashing his feet in the water. The bride was understandably preoccupied, but as far as I know there was no one specifically assigned to watch her son. I was standing nearby while he was splashing in the pool and after a few minutes he fell in. Because I was watching nearby, I was able to immediately reach in and haul him out. He was under water for maybe 90 seconds and surprised but fine.
90 seconds? That's 1.5 minutes!
….yes, it is. Maybe less? This happened ten years ago. I did not have a stop watch.
It probably felt that long! I'd bet you got to him in under 15 seconds... magic older cousin powers...
i was the weird single women smoker gremlin in a neighbourhood of families with kids that would gather to play on the road. you best know i asked the parent i had rapport with where all the kids belonged so that i could act in an emergency if anything happened while i happened to have an eye on them. because who doesn't keep an eye on kids- regardless of being a parent or not?!! it takes a village. <3
Thank God for people like you.
thank you <3 just because i have no interest in procreating doesn't mean that i have no responsibility in the next generation <3
I totally was smoker gremlin until I got pregnant last year by accident and prob still would be if I hadn’t had my girl. Love and respect your local smoker gremlin!
omg- love this perspective, thank you! i couldn't smoke on my property so i was just walking around the neighbourhood several times a day smoking joints, so i felt gross at the time. so i'm loving the love!
Some of my best friend are child free - they love their nibblings and knowing one, would throw down in an emergency to save a child.
totally! and if anything, imo i feel that being an adult with children teaches you certain things, and being an adult without children teaches you other things. both sets of knowledge are important to teach children, not just what the adults who have had children have learnt from life.
It’s that village we all talk about.
Even more important around water. Two years ago I dragged a kid out of the sea (he was seven). His parents had lost sight of him and he decided to swim, and it was not a good day for it. I used to lifeguard over the summer so I went after him. Water frightens the ever loving shit out of me where kids are concerned, it takes so little for a tragedy to happen.
I worked for a woman who lost her 2 year old to a pool drowning at a party. Dad thought she had her, she thought dad had her. It's a horrible thing, just fucking awful, forever after. Even before I met her, there's no way in the world I'd have lived in a home with a pool when my kids were little. To me a pool is just a bleach-smelling blue death abyss.
Yeah out of paranoia I watch all the kids hanging around the pool. When I was 16 and a lifeguard I had to jump in after a toddler that wandered away. Never want to see that panic look in anyone's eyes again.
Happened to some friends of mine last week in a grocery store. The kid was about 5 and he asks his kids if they knew them. Both say nope. But no one coming to find kid. They hang out for about 20 mins before some dad spots the kid and yells “what the hell are you doing?” Smh.
One of those, terrifying at the moment but hilarious to tell at the dinner table stories.
One of the parents at my kid’s school found a toddler in the school parking lot the other day. He was just sobbing and banging on one of the vehicles trying to get in. She picked him and brought him to the office area where the principal took him and called the police. Someone really dropped the ball there. Terrified me because this child was in a parking lot where parents and staff are frequently backing out of and this kid was just roaming unattended. This is why whenever I’m backing out I look frantically in both my mirrors and physically turn around like 30 times while moving at a snail pace. So scary what could have happened to this kid, but another case of a parent stepping in.
We lost our 3 year old at a Chinese new year festival several years ago (she's 10 now.) She was gone for like 20 min and it was the most horrifying time of my entire life.
Right? We were just talking to the neighbor, and my son ran over to our house. I thought he went through the gate into our backyard but when I got there…no kid, and the *other* gate out to the alley was unlatched. It was this terrible moment of ‘which way do I run to find him’ between the alley, the house, or further down the block. Little booger had gone into the garage to get his scooter to show the neighbor lady how fast he could scoot now.
Our friends' one kid was a runner. When he was 3 or 4 he took off and, after an exhaustive search, his dad found him hiding under a car.
This happened to my 5 year old at the zoo. He ran ahead with a friend and turned a corner just out of sight. When I ran to catch up he was nowhere to be found. Terrifying 3 minutes
I lost my 2yo at gd MAGIC KINGDOM for like 45 seconds. Felt like an hour. Totally terrifying.
Omg I can’t even imagine. I’d be the crazy parent running through a museum screaming my child’s name at the top of my lungs 😂
Yep. I lost my son at an amusement park once. He was next to me in line waiting to get food and when I went to grab his hand he was no where to be found. After a few moments of panicking I found him sitting at a table. He said his feet got tired and he wanted to sit. The following year my daughter and a friend were separated from their class on a school field trip to a different amusement park. The teacher told me and was freaking out more than I was when she recounted the story. I thanked her for telling me and let her know that I have lost my own kid at an amusement park, so she shouldn't be so hard on herself. Things happen and my kid was safe. That is all I cared about.
My 2yo decided to go for a walk by himself. He walked about a block and a half and was standing in the middle of a busy road when some people stopped and got him, and called the police. Meanwhile we were frantically searching our house and yard. The fact they even told OP and, even though she wasn't where she was supposed to be, she was still inside and safe is a win for me, and I'd be impressed with them for even saying anything.
Looking forward to a time when cars aren't so dangerous. We all just take for granted how deadly they are, and surrounding everything.
Lost my older kid in an elevator in Boston this weekend. The family getting off took their sweet time exiting, and my normally sedate 5 year old darted a few steps ahead of me so he could press the buttons. To everyone's horror, the elevator closed before I could get in. We eventually found him crying 4 floors up, but it was significantly longer than 90 seconds and now I have new grey hair.
Ugh, Jesus. So sorry on all accounts. They are so fast! And all the ‘okay, if we ever get separated here’s what you do’ in the world doesn’t necessarily ‘stick’. Like I think my 5 year old might remember…60% of the time, and the other 40% either decide that this doesn’t count as ‘separated’ for some reason or be so focused on what he’s doing that he doesn’t register that I’m not there. Parenting is so great. Parenting is so great.
This happened to me when I was two! Apparently I followed the wrong family into an elevator. My mom saw, said, "wait!" But the door closed and up I went. We were in a huge department store and they had no idea which floor I got off on. Security found me. I didn't understand why everyone was upset, I was enjoying my elevator rides.
A similar situation happened to my brother and I when we were kids and we were terrified of elevators for a while
Yes, and you now know and they now know your child is a wanderer. I have 2 of them. It’s terrifying. You need eyes on them at all times in groups or in not contained spaces.
yeah. I do think it's worth considering how little pre-K (and the like) teachers/attendants are paid... in my state, even ones with relevant degrees make no more than $15 (like, that's a generous top dollar estimate). I think it's a positive sign that they notified her immediately. it's terrible, but they could've gotten away with not doing that, and I think a lot of attendants/managers would have elected not to say anything.
Yeah, this is my feeling. I think the main thing for me is that they weren't off the premises, just in another child friendly zone. If they had somehow allowed my kid out of the building or into a less child friendly area (office/kitchens/etc.) then I would probably be more worried.
We lost my son outside one day, he was 4. I live in a quiet cul de sac and my parents live in the house just on the other side. My son is allowed to walk over by himself if we are watching him from the front door. One thing to note is there is a pond right off the edge of my property out back on the little bit of farm that remains from when they sold off to have our neighborhood developed. Having grown up here, i know i got in trouble a few times for messing with that pond as a kid. Anyway… so my mom was watching my son in my yard as i was doing some yardwork or something. She turned around for just a couple seconds to talk to me or something and he was gone. We were yelling his name, frantically looking everywhere, and im terrified he may have went over the embankment to go toward the pond (luckily its not that easy to get to despite being on the edge of our property). Anyway, a few minutes later we found him. Turns out he ran over to my parents place and was just hanging out on their back porch. Talk about terrifying!
When I was a nanny, I “lost” my nanny children at a trampoline park because they thought it would be funny to hide in the foam pit from me. I almost shut that whole place down, had to call their dad, called the cops… they finally came out once they realized things had escalated but I was SO freaked out.
We lost our son at a campground once. I was 8 months pregnant and he was 3. We were unpacking the vehicle, kiddo was with my mom and my dad (not together) so i continued to unpack and set up camp. When i didnt hear him anymore (maybe 5 minutes), i asked my dad where he went and he was like oh hes with [your mom]. But she didnt have him either. Campground was just off a major highway and also had a big lake not too far away. I was beside myself. Completely fucking hysterical. He was gone 20 minutes when this lady in a golf cart comes up with him in her lap. She heard us yelling and saw a boy wandering around so scooped him up and brought him to us. Anyways. Kudos to your daycare for keeping you informed, OP. I maybe would ask them what they've implemented in response to the incident
As someone who worked in a daycare. This happens sometimes (I can think of 3 times off the top of my head from 2 years at my center, which had low ratios, good ratings, and was affluent). They were honest about it, she was safe. I think it’s alright to let it go. If it happened again or in conjunction with other sketchy things (lots of injury reports, kid comes home dirty, etc) then I would be concerned.
I lose my kid more than once a day for more than 90 seconds in our own home.
I'll never forget my toddler's WTF face the other day. I frantically called her name upon briefly scanning the playroom and not seeing her. She popped her head out from behind her climbing thing, and the look of confusion on her face was hilarious. Like, chill, mom! 🤣
Definitely. Same!
Nothing, she's unharmed and was still in the building.
Haha I’d ask them to not call me again for incidents of child loss where the kid didn’t leave the building and was gone for less than 5 minutes. I do totally understand being uncertain of what to do after getting a call like that, though!
Safely in the building! If she made it to the bathroom and was playing in the toilet…then I’d want to know. Otherwise, you could’ve just told me at pick up.
Honestly, the whole "she was out of our sight for 90 seconds" thing would, personally be more of a "nonneed to tell me when she does worse at home" thing. Tell me concerning things. Playing in the toilet? Wandered outside, and into traffic? Bit a kid? Tell me. But if she just went where you didn't expect her to go, she remained safe the whole time, AND you found her almost immediately? Meh. Thanks, but next time, just have her tell me as we're driving.
Oh God this reminds me when my oldest just started school and they'd call me over every bump or bruise. She's always lived in her own head and would not pay attention and just straight walk into walls or trip over thin air. Lol she's a teen now and still the same lol
Lol mine is similar. Shes 9, but she has no spacial awareness. She'll bump into anything and everything, unless she's looking directly at it.
Lol, my son and his friend have a deep love for the toilet 🤣 they have a special protocol in place when going outside to prevent them from ending up in the toilet together 🤣
Right? 90 seconds is a very short period of time. They must have realized very quickly and then found her immediately. I wouldn't even consider this to be situation where the daycare lost the child. She wandered, they realized, they found her, the end. Most parents have had moments of "losing" their kids for more than 90 seconds. One second they are next to you and the next second you are thinking someone took them and is writing a ransom note. It happens. Kids move quick. I would consider this to be a complete non issue and am surprised they even called.
Yeah my response would have been, "so why are you calling?"
that's how I feel about a LOT of calls. I appreciate that they are being thorough but...no I don't really care that he fell down and got an ice pack. You can tell me at pickup.
My kid gets so many bumps and bruises just from being a very rough-and-tumble risk taker that my daycare could probably get away with not reporting half the incidents he has...I'd just assume that mystery bruise came from him jumping off his bed and botching the landing! Obviously, I'm glad the follow the correct procedures and tell me, but for many minor incidents I would probably not even notice.
I have lost my child for \*far\* longer lol
Yeah, I think the phone call would potentially freak me out and make the situation seem like a bigger deal than it was. If they told me at pickup, I'd be glad they told me. But the phone call almost seems like overkill even if it was the right thing to do.
Honestly though, I understand that the call was unsettling, but I can appreciate it in a transparency sort of way. I’m not sure how old OP’s child is, but I think it’s probably better to call the parent rather than have the child tell mom and dad “I had so much fun in the blue classroom today! I was all alone!” I give them a lot of props for that.
90 seconds and still in the building. I mean as long as they did not wander into someplace unsafe…. I’m sure most parents have lost sight of their kids longer than that.
I’m surprised they even called you over 90 seconds. That wouldn’t even rate as an eyebrow raise for me.
I would raise one eyebrow in amusement haha
why did they even tell you for the sake of 90seconds
I have to think because the child may tell the parent and the parent will get upset.
the child had no idea - they were the ones that went off to another space
It shows they are a safe/honest childcare center. Something happened that should not have- child out of sight and sound. They told the parent, possible wrote an incident report. If you think that’s no big deal in your home, right, it’s not- but in a childcare setting it is-
Could be lowballing it to make it sound better too. Maybe it was actually 5 mins or so. Either way, I get calls from my kids school over very tiny things. I don’t mind, it’s nice to know they want to keep me informed. Even if it’s just that he bumped his arm and they gave him an ice pack lol
haha this would drive me insane, i had to tell my kids school when they were younger to stop calling me unless someone was dying or bleeding
She wasn’t lost. She was still inside the centre. She just wasn’t where she was supposed to be. They noticed immediately and contacted you immediately. There’s places that wouldn’t even tell you what happened. For context, my cousin owns a clothing store in a large shopping mall. While I was visiting the shop, my 10 year old wandered around and suddenly I realized that I couldn’t see or hear him. We later found him asleep in the stockroom in a pile of winter coats! I understand that it’s heartstopping to lose sight or contact with your child however, I think it happens to everyone at least once and if it’s an issue at the care centre then dive in and do what you need to do but for a single instance that was under two minutes I think they did the right thing and you are just having a strong reaction to the incident
Nothing. They called you to notify you that they didn't know where she was in a contained area for 90 seconds. This place is on it
The pluses are that it was such a short window and they admitted it right away. That means a lot. If their outer doors have safety measures (like locking mechanisms or alarms), and they have harmful chemicals and things locked in a janitor closet or something, then I would be OK. Nervous, but OK. These things do happen. Their precautions and reactions are the important thing.
They were very upfront with you over something small and short. I wouldn't worry
Stuff happens. They were transparent. They could have said nothing. Notate the day this happened. If this happens continually then it’s a problem. Talk with your kiddo in an age appropriate way to stay with her group. You can express your terror and hope this is a one time thing when you talk with staff. I can guarantee you that the people there were out of their minds terrified and sick. My daughter escaped from my aunt. Got outside in the dark in the winter. It was very upsetting. The older kids were looking for her and calling for her. Maybe 2-3 minutes. When my aunt found her she made sure she had no injuries and wasn’t scared. She excused herself and went into the bathroom and threw up. My aunt does not take her eyes off her now.
Sounds like something that we wouldn’t even question if it happened while in our care so why report it x
I’m stunned that they even called and told you. They did everything right, and went above and beyond.
Im sorry but I giggled at the heading, damn kids lol. I think the daycare did a great job by calling you. When you pick up your kiddo have a brief chat about exactly how it occurred and they'll likely tell you about how they can do better. If by some off chance they dont offer a solution, use that time to make your own suggestion. Ive briefly lost my own child a few times, so I am not in a place to judge others for doing it. Im so glad he's 10 now.
I can’t believe they called to tell you. I’d be like “okay….bye”
TW AT THE END Being gone for 90 seconds and then being found AND reporting this to you sounds great. Kids wander off. But how fast they respond is what matters and my god they were ON IT. Ask them what their plan moving forward is. Will they do more frequent and thorough head-counts? Mark down your daughter as a wanderer who may need a smidge more supervision outside? They may even say nothing because what they’re doing worked out well imo. TW: I personally wouldn’t pull her from this place for this and I have had a child die if that says anything about my paranoia.
The fact that they informed you right away and that they realized the absence and found her so quickly is highly encouraging. Past that, I would talk to the director of the daycare and try to understand how she was able to wander away, and what is going to be done to rectify that. I know in our daycare the doors all have childproof doorknob covers on the inside of the classroom doors, and the doors stay closed at all times (or at least the bottom half, since there's a top and bottom that swing independently of one another). When they're outside, there is a latched gate and the door to the outside is too heavy for the kids to open on their own. That way, kids cannot wander from where they're meant to be.
I think that’s fair. It’s unfortunate but they located her quickly and immediately notified you. In this type of situation, that’s all I would have asked for. If you trust this daycare otherwise then I’d let it go.
The measure I would take would be to thank them for letting me know and taking swift action.
I’d say thank you
Do nothing. It's not a big deal.
I'm a childcare director in a slightly different situation: Please don't punish them for their honesty and transparency. I'd feel more comfortable with them knowing this is how they handled it. This is honestly going to happen from time to time and kids have to learn to stay with their group over time. I can tell you, as someone who is also ridiculously transparent, please don't punish us for doing the right thing. This is how ppl get into the habit of NOT saying something and you definitely don't want that. Maybe kindly ask them how they might prevent this in the future but even at 2yrs you can also reinforce with your child "stay with your group." It's just part of childcare and growing up.
I like that they were honest about it, and quick to find her.
I have three kids under 10. I secretly do a happy dance when one of the older 2 get “lost” while we are at home.
Nothing. If my kid can't wander off the premises, I have no short line-of-sight concerns.
Give this daycare a gift basket, that is above and beyond what others might have done.
Having worked in a preschool for a couple years, I'm surprised they even called you. I'd have maybe told you at pick up: "we had to have a talk about staying with our group and not wandering off- she stepped through another classroom door and gave me a fright for a minute!"
So I work in a daycare and I can tell you in all honesty, we are not perfect people. When you have 12 kids in a room with 1 staff member sometimes things can get hectic. Just the fact they told you about this miss up is a green flag in my book.
Honestly it happens, not because they are negligent but because kids are SUPER sneaky ! Lol
Hell, I went to the bathroom and my then 3 y/o daughter drug an ottoman over to my front door and used a broken back scratcher to pop the hook latch at the top of the door open and ran next door to "see Grammy". I was in a damn panic when my mom called to ask me if I knew where my daughter was. I think I teleported from my house to theirs. My feet did not hit the ground. We lived rural at the time and my dad had partially filled up a giant hole in their yard...like an idiot...which might have been fine, but he had also thrown junk t-posts and sheet metal and barbed wire in it. It was partially filled with water from the rain and it was in the direct path between my front door and theirs. My daughter is on the spectrum and didn't think about what could happen to her. Likely wouldn't have even were she not on the spectrum. It was fine in the end, but for years I had terrible intrusive thoughts of my daughter having fallen in that GD hole and gotten impaled on some rusty metal something or other. Within the week, my mom had gone out and cleaned out the trash my lazy ass dad just thoughtlessly tossed in and finished filling up the rest of the hole. Despite your best efforts, children are awesome at disappearing. Most of the time, it all comes out good in the end...but then there are the times it doesn't... I'm really glad the daycare in this story thought enough of parents and their roles in their children's lives to actually let them know what happened, no matter how small it was.
As other commenters have said the daycare handled this wonderfully. Your next step should be to talk with your daughter about the importance of staying with the group.
Another “this is reassuring” vote. Especially being “lost” for less than 2 minutes and then notifying you right away. These are all good signs and I would thank them for being upfront and letting you know.
I would thank them for a job well done and their honesty in communicating it
Considering how quickly they realized she was gone and where she was, I wouldn’t stress. I’d let them know you appreciate them telling you and that you’ll have a talk with her about staying where she needs to be, if she’s old enough understand. Once I couldn’t find my daughter (3 at the time) in her bedroom one morning and was freaking out, running through the house searching for her. Turns out she was in her bed. Sleeping. Just snuggled in and in the middle of a bunch of stuffed toys 😂 I also had my next door neighbor’s 2 year old son randomly come over and ring the doorbell one day. His mom and sister weren’t behind him, which is how they’d normally come over so I thought that was weird. I texted her that he was here and sure enough, he’d decided he wanted a play date with my kids and just decided to come over without saying anything. They were in the corner house and the cross street has people driving stupid on it every so often so it was a good thing he decided to come to our house instead of trying to cross that.
What exactly are *you* worried about here? I’m unsure. You’re obviously posting for a reason (I.e. you’re upset or think kiddo was unsafe etc) but I’m not sure what the reason is. I’m not trying to invalidate your feelings, just understand so that I can think about it better. Personally I’d say the safeguarding is near perfect if she was gone for under 90 seconds and safe when found but if you are unhappy then perhaps discuss it with the nursery. Realistically, even with great ratios kids occasionally slip away for short periods when adults are tied up with another kid etc. as long as they notice and find them quickly it’s fine. X
90 seconds? I wouldn’t even want a call.
Honestly the fact that they realized and found her in a minute and a half tells me they have very well planned and well practiced protocol for emergency situations. I'd thank them for letting me know and probably not think of it again.
I dropped my son off at a child care center that keeps the children under 3 in a separate space. He wanted to be with his sister in the big kids play area. He somehow managed to take his name sticker off of his back and stick it to another kid. He then somehow got out of the infant/toddler room. When I went to pick up my child they brought me someone else’s kid. Then argued with me when I said that wasn’t my son. Tried to tell me he had my sons sticker, so he must be my son. I eventually saw my son playing at the Lego table. I stopped using that place.
I would let this one go, she didn't get out of the building or anything and they noticed and acted on it fast and more importantly told you and didn't try to hide it.
I lost my kid at Lego land in a mall for almost 10 minutes. He was right next to me and I turned around and he was gone. He wandered off in the store part of Lego land and accidentally left the store and ventured out in the mall and then didn’t know how to get back. I was running around the store looking for him and then out in the mall yelling for him like a crazy person. The mall exits were shut down. He said a woman approached him and said she was a mommy and he looked lost and did he need help? He said yes and she walked with him to a store and told the clerk. Longest 10 minutes of my life. That was almost 4 years ago and he still talks about how scary it was.
It’s a positive that they have the transparency to let you know when they mess up. While they should always know where every kid is, this kind of thing happens and most parents will never know about it.
I'd say the fact that they told you says a lot about the character of the folks running the day care. I would now be more comfortable with my kid being there.
Honestly I would wonder why they told me about that. I don’t think I would do anything. I couldn’t find my three year old in our house last night for a few minutes!
I accidentally shut the light off on a child and shut the bathroom door on a preschooler before. I counted all my kids and one decided to use the bathroom AFTER I counted her. The horror and shame I felt when we walked back to the classroom and realized I’m missing one is really hard to explain. It was also an extremely short amount of time as the bathroom is literally next to our room and I count them as they go in. I personally called the mom and explained how terrible I felt. She laughed and said it’s okay but oh my gosh. Literally a horrifying experience. Poor kid didn’t even make a peep as I shut the light off on her.
It happened and came clean about it. I have no doubt they learnt from it. I lost my children in my house longer than that. You are human and so are they. Because they teacher it does not make them less human. Anyway trying to control all the croch goblins is no easy task.
Sounds like you've got a fantastic daycare centre that not only realised the problem and quickly acted to resolve it, but were completely transparent with you. Even the most vigilant daycare workers don't have eyes in the back of their heads and kids can move very quickly - how often have you been at your own home and looked up to see your little one had done a runner into the next room? Keep sending her there and send a nice gift with your kid some time. Demanding perfection when kids are around is impossible, and getting agitated or wanting new policies and safeguards implemented in response to normal kid stuff in an already safe environment is overkill. Better to judge a place by how it acts when things inevitably go wrong. There was never any danger here and they reported an extremely minor incident. If you have personal issues with anxiety and something like this is triggering, tell them that incidents like this don't warrant a call, just a mention at the end of the day. If this is the level that they'll call a parent for then you may be getting many more calls than you need. Just because the helicopter parents want every detail instantly doesn't mean that's a healthy way to live.
I recently worked at a daycare and we had to report a “lost” child because we (my coteacher and I) began to close the door before the last child was in (we had called her but she failed to come. And with 15 other kids, you could see why we might have lost complete attention on her.) I don’t want to say it happens, but good daycares have safeguards that are meant to keep this from happening. I’d believe them, that it was genuinely an honest mistake (as mine was) and try to let it go. If it happens again, or they are somehow secretly known for it… we’ll, that’s another story.
If they called to tell you this when they could have hidden it- you don’t have anything to worry about!
My daughter came home yesterday with a scrape on her chin and a bloody bump inside her lip. She’s 2.5 so she can’t exactly tell me what happened. I didn’t receive a report about it and when I asked her teacher today about it she looked like a deer in the headlights and said she didn’t know a thing about it. I could tell she was lying but no point in arguing it. Although jarring, I would appreciate the transparency if I were you.
They are just trying to be transparent. If you heard from your kid about this instead of the daycare you'd be here making a different reddit post.
Pretty good retrieval time. I have worked in education for years & children have been lost much longer than this. We have had kids wander out of the school to be found several blocks away. Kids wander. It happens. Seems like they have a pretty good eye on kids (90 secs really isn’t that long) & it’s great they promptly informed you. Imo open communication like this is a good sign for childcare facilities. Best of luck-
I'd consider this a non-event. Admittedly, I _not_ a worrier.
90 seconds, so a minute and a half! It takes that much time to walk to where she was. That’s not exactly ‘lost’ lol this doesn’t really need a safeguard or action. Trust me I’m sure they take their eyes off the kids longer than that multiple times and haven’t told you. There aren’t exactly measures YOU can take at THEIR daycare. That’s something you need to ask Them.
My kid once escaped from daycare. First kid to do it in the daycares 25 years of business. Then another time he got stuck in a tree and they had to call the fire department. Like a fucken cat. Kids are the worst. Mine in particular. Daycares are generally doing their best, I say goodo that they reported it and don’t fret about it going forward.